Category Archives: Uncategorized

Reading Time: 37 minutes

HAPPY FORELOCK-TUGGING HOLIDAY!

I once worked at Buckingham Palace, you know (apologies if I’ve bored you with this before) – they used to advertise Summer jobs in the Guardian back in the day (THE IRONY), and as a result I spent two genuinely-enjoyable months working in the gift shop and the ticket office (you can read more about that experience here, in a now-classic example of Muir juvenilia – it’s good to see that, er, my prose has ‘evolved’ in the 22 years since I wrote that!) – perhaps I would have been better-disposed towards old sausage fingers, old jug-ears, had I been allowed to meet him when he came to visit one day, instead of unceremoniously having my shifts rearranged so that I was not in fact working because, to quote my boss (the fabulously-named Nigel Dickman, who I really hope Googles himself and finds this – NIGEL, YOU WERE A COLOSSAL W4NKER AND EVERYONE HATED YOU, AND YOU ARE STILL THE BEST EXAMPLE OF NOMINATIVE DETERMINISM I HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED) “we can’t be sure you won’t do something stupid” (he was, in his defence, right).

My only other familial connection to the royal family comes from the fact that my dad was a contemporary of the soon-to-be-king’s at University – apparently he was ‘notably stupid’, but maybe he was just being BITTER AND REPUBLICAN.

Which is all by way of unnecessarily long-winded preamble to this week’s CELEBRATORY SOUVENIR CORONATION NATIONALISM DIVINE RIGHT JAMBOREE CURIOS! I promise you that there are EXACTLY enough links contained in the following emailnewsletterblogtypething to distract you until the whole disgusting orgy of unmerited wealth and tone-deaf pageantry is over and we can go back to wishing they’d just hurry up and sell Buckingham Palace to Peter Thiel or something.

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and they will be first up against the wall come the revolution (fingers crossed, eh?).

By Austin Harris

TOM SPOONER KICKS OFF THE MUSIC THIS WEEK WITH A MIX OF OLD BLUES AND RELATED SOUNDS, MIXED FOR 45 DAY!

THE SECTION WHICH WOULD LIKE TO ADVISE ANY OF YOU WHO EVER VISIT BUCKINGHAM PALACE TO PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE FACT THAT ALL THE MEN IN THE PORTRAITS – EVERY SINGLE ONE – DRESS TO THE LEFT, PT.1:

Call Annie: I’ve never had an Amazon Echo or other smart speaker; I’ve been exposed to them, obviously, mainly in the houses of friends who seem to employ the devices solely as a means to keep their sticky offspring occupied for five minutes inbetween driving them to various Improving Social Engagements, but I’ve never seen the appeal of having a surveillance box in my home, feeding aggregated data about my wants and desires and habits back to the Bezosian mothership. I’ve never felt like I’ve been missing out, but the recent rumblings about Amazon’s inevitable integration of natural language processing into the Alexa software has made me momentarily curious as to what it might be like to have an intelligent-seeming digital interlocutor in my kitchen. Whilst you can’t get your hands on that particular version of the future quite yet, you are able to play with Call Annie, a little experiment in AI tools created by one Francesco Rossi and through which you can have a live, practically-realtime voice conversation with an LLM (you have to hand over your phone number, but I can reassure you that so far Francesco doesn’t appear to have handed over my details to criminals; if you’re paranoid, though, just use your work phone! What’s the worst that can happen? NB – Web Curios accepts no responsibility whatsoever for any fraud or damages that may result from the handing over of your work phone number to an entirely random website). This is…look, it’s obviously a bit crap, and it’s still like having a ‘conversation’ with a largely-moronic dullard who won’t, despite my best and most persuasive urgings, agree to tell me how to dispose of the body currently rotting in the compost heap at the end of the garden (jokes!), but, equally, it is FCUKING AMAZING. The latency is reasonably low, the voice model it’s using isn’t horrific, and, honestly, it’s actually sort-of fun to chat to the bot as you go about your business (note to my girlfriend – IT IS NOT AS FUN AS CHATTING WITH YOU), and I can honestly see the appeal of being able to just vocalise questions on the fly and have the AI spit out answers into a hovering window over whatever it is you’re working on. As I seem to find myself saying more and more often in Curios, whilst this isn’t *the* future, it certainly seems like *a* future.

Rewrite Iran: Another bit of AI-enabled campaign work (I’m not including the recent ASICS one, mainly because it was EXACTLY the same ‘we’re going to release training data to make the AI machines fairer and more representative, just like we did with stock photography three years ago!’ schtick that I have been suggesting as a lazy PR tactic for at least a year now and I am irrationally annoyed that noone has emailed me to tacitly acknowledge that they stole this admittedly-incredibly-obvious idea from here) – this is a nice use of textual and visual AI, and the inherent biases included in them based on their training sets, to make a real-world political point. To quote the ‘About’ page: “this project was written entirely by AI trained using Iranian history. It tells the story of Iranian women in the year 2026. Although the future it imagines is bleak, you can explore the impact of actions you can take to help re-write the story and create a better tomorrow.” Each chapter of the text takes real history and then presents an imagined future taking you up to 2026, with the text being ‘written’ (in now-classic post-ChatGPT style) as the viewer reads it, to really hammer home the whole ‘THE FUTURE IS BEING WRITTEN BY YOUR CURRENT INACTION’ message – across education, reproductive rights, access to political office and a variety of other areas, the website demonstrates in effective fashion the potential impact on women’s rights of a continuation of the present political regime around sex- and gender-based rights. A nice piece of work, nicely made, and (much as it pains me to point at something good and smart and say ‘hey, you can rip this off!’) the sort of thing whose basic principles can be applied across a bunch of fields to similar campaigning effect imho.

Ukraine In CS:GO: Staying with the campaigns for a second, I thought this was a really well-thought-out idea (via Ged, to whom thanks) with some proper ‘insight’ (sorry) behind it. CS:GO, for the uninitiated, is venerable online shooter Counter Strike: Global Operations, a game played on PC which has been around for AGES and which despite not having the shiny annual reskin of a COD or Battlefield still maintains a dedicated playerbase worldwide – many of whom are Russian. This is a map designed for the game’s active modding community, which is modeled on a fairly standard-looking Eastern European conflict zone – except there’s a room on the map which houses a wealth of interactive information detailing the truth of Russian activities during the war in Ukraine, presenting news reports and maps and images of what has ‘really’ been going on (with the obvious caveats about wars, casualties and ‘truth’) designed to reach Russian gamers who might be getting a…somewhat skewed picture of the conflict from domestic news sources. This is a really smart piece of work commissioned by Finnish newspaper Helsingin Sanomat – according to Steam stats, it’s been played nearly 20,000 times in 4 days, which feels like pretty good numbers to me, and it’s (ANOTHER FFS ARE YOU TAKING NOTES?) very neat use of games as a communications medium.

Robots Playing Football: Before we leap two-footed into this week’s malodorous pit of AI sludge (sorry in advance, but I will try and make it short), a brief bit of AI-adjacent future magic for you to enjoy. ‘Robots playing football’ has, for years now, been a pretty reliable bit of lightweight internet video comedy – look at them stumble! Look at them shuffle! Fcuk off, Boston Dynamics, you can’t even perfect a simple wall pass what is wrong with you? – and whilst this isn’t going to make any existing pros fear for their immediate futures (although as a Chelsea fan I would happily take any of these lads over the prospect of spending any more time paying João Félix’s wages – sorry, that was a brief digression into FootballChat but it won’t happen again) it is undeniably quite impressive. The robots here (via Ben Matthews) exhibit some pretty sophisticated behaviours, narrowing angles for shots, quick changes of direction, and a frankly suicidal defensive impulse that shows them attempting to save shots with their ‘faces’ wherever possible – perhaps most impressive is the ball control on display, and the fact that at various points in the video linked here they…they seem to sort-of know what they are doing. If we can just pick up the pace on this we’ll all be able to enjoy robo-enabled real-life Speedball II in just a few short years.

Pi: ANOTHER LLM! I find myself saying this with tedious regularity (so I can only imagine how bored YOU must all be), but it bears repeating – WOW does the novelty of this stuff wear off quickly! A few short months since we were all getting blown away by ChatGPT and here I am greeting the release of an entirely new natural language AI with barely a shrug. In fairness, Pi doesn’t, from my brief plays with it, seem to do anything hugely different – its blurb suggests that it’s designed to be more ‘conversational’, more of an interlocutor than a magical AI factotum, and the company behind it (called Inflection, and part-owned by Reid Hoffman who you will of course recognise from the performative misery-oubliette that is LinkedIn) is pushing it as a ‘companion’ (although very specifically a non-human one), and it does a reasonable job of talking you through simple questions and decisions…but, honestly, I am not 100% certain what the point is of a digital interlocutor who offers blandly positive bromides about whatever you ask it. Still, if you want to experiment with the imminent future in which everyone is getting their own life support and advice and assistance from a totally different LLM with different weightings and biases and priorities, then you might have some momentary ‘fun’ comparing this with the various GPTs and Poes and Bards and the rest – personally speaking, the idea of having to make allowances for people because their insisting on using a locally-trained, madly-conspiratorial version of AI to guide their every waking action is already making me feel tired and like I might possibly engineer myself a massive cardiac arrest at some point in the next five years just to make this all stop.

Blue Willow: Do YOU want all the creative power of Midjourmey but don’t want to have to pay a monthly subscription to get access to the good, reality-bending AI image generating toys? You might want to try Blue Willow, then, which seems, as far as I can tell, to be the next-best alternative (certainly it works better for me than SD or Dall-E) – although it won’t be as good as Midjourney’s new 5.1 update which is out…soon, and you still have to use it via Discord which, sadly, makes me hate it and means that I will likely never touch it again.

Microsoft Designer: Microsoft don’t need me to do their PR for them, so I will keep this very short – anything Adobe can do, Microsoft can basically release a broad simulacrum of, and so it is with Microsoft Designer which is their new, currently-in-beta, AI-enabled design studio – it’s worth clicking the link and having a bit of a play around and seeing exactly how easy it is to spin up social ads and banners and slide designs and YT thumbnails. Although – and this is perhaps a small fillip for the low-to-mid-level graphic designers currently sketching out prototypical Sarco Pods in their spare time – it’s worth pointing out that, despite all these tools, I still can’t make anything that doesn’t look like total dogsh1t because I lack even the most basic aesthetic sense of what ‘nice’ looks like, and as such there will always be a role for people like you (tasteful, elegant, refined) to help people like me (ugly, misshapen, an anti-aesthete) ‘see’ beauty. Or at least there will be for about 24m until The Machine gets good at that too.

Literally All The AI Music: Or at least MOST of it – this site seems to be aggregating all the new AI music being created, and it’s astonishing quite how much more of it than there was only a week ago, and how…ok, let’s be honest, this is still almost entirely dreadful, but the fact that there are a few songs on there that have playcounts in five or six figures suggests that there must be *some* appetite for it out there, and (as I am bored of saying, and will stop doing soon I promise) this is THE WORST THAT AI-GENERATED MUSIC WILL EVER BE. Oh, and if you’re curious, here’s a rolling post on Reddit that’s being updated with all the different ways people are using Grimes’ voice after she gave the sort-of OK to it the other week. I’m curious to see who the first mainstream artist is going to be to create and license a model of their own voice for commercial collaborative use (I know Holly Herndon’s already all over this, per Curios passim, but with due respect I’m thinking someone who’s more likely to appear on Graham Norton).

The Great Catsby: Text-to-video is, to be clear, still a largely-horrible mess that creates nothing that anyone would actually want to watch – and yet…this emerged over the weekend, and while it’s obviously nothing that resembles real video shot by people it’s…getting closer. This is an imagined trailer for a Baz Luhrman-esque version of The Great Gatsby (with cats!) and while it’s the usual sort of face-melty horrorshow it also, if you squint a bit and use a generous dollop of imagination (IF YOU DON’T EXERCISE IT IT WILL DIE) you can see that there’s a general…’understanding’ of composition happening here, and the lighting and the flatter surfaces actually look…vaguely ok. I don’t, for a second, think that the era of ‘whole movies spun up on-demand by AI, based on your copyright-ignoring prompts!’ is anywhere near, but I do think that your kids are going to be subject to some genuinely mind-flayingly weird stuff in a few short months as they spelunk in the outer wilds of YouTube and the AutoPlay gremlins get to work. BONUS AI VIDEO CONTENT: Pizza Nuggets! Another horrible, imaginary 80s advert – this one gets extra points for pivoting to full-on John Carpenter-esque body horror about halfway through. Oh, and seeing as we’re doing video and I don’t think this warrants its own bullet, I thought this prototypical software for using natural language to search in-video looked hugely impressive too.

AudioPen: This is an interesting idea – effectively an autosummariser for your voicenotes, AudioPen promises to take whatever garbled nonsense you give it in terms of an audio file and condense it into pithy, effective prose which you can then use wherever and however you fancy. If you’re the sort of person who prefers dictating to typing then this could be genuinely transformative (although there’s also something darkly amusing about a version of this that subtly but undeniably alters the transcripts of what you say to achieve some sort of hidden and potentially-nefarious goal).

Dream Date: I’m slightly surprised that I’ve not seen more people trying to make fun promo things out of the current spate of AI tools – something like this, by Canadian agency Reflektor, which lets you create a tiny little virtual corner for you to share with someone special in your life. The idea here is that you can make your PERSONAL PERFECT DATE SPOT using AI – which, obviously, you can’t, but what you CAN do is answer a few questions and generate a nice-looking little 3d model of a slightly-blurry corner unit building that in some small way reflects the answers you gave about, I don’t know, your preferred breakup style, or exactly how into pegging you are. This isn’t very polished, but for some reason I found it very cute indeed and maybe you will too (and, who knows, maybe there’s someone in your life who REALLY wants a gently-indistinct voxel image of a tiny park rendered by an unknowable machine ‘intelligence’).

Touring Test: This doesn’t really work, fine, but I am glad that people are trying to make these things – Touring Test is a little AI-enabled guessing game, where you’re asked to identify the city being referred to in each question by picking it on a map. The clues are created by The Machine, and come in the form of a CRYPTIC POEM or haiku or an AI-generated image – and this is where it all falls down, because they either tend to the impossibly-gnomic (“Snow falls on cedars / The tawny owl hoots twice / Come home, Hunter Bill” – NOW TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE, MOTHERFCUKER!) or the slightly-too-obvious (“Look at St Basil! / Majestical onion dome / Fcuk off Vladimir”, etc). Still, I like the fact that people are experimenting with this stuff and trying to experiment with how you can use this sort of ‘creativity’ in fun, ludic ways – see also this light ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’-style text adventure, in which you choose a character and wander through the vaguely Fighting Fantasy-style scenario trying not to get eaten by a werebear, which again doesn’t quite work (it tends to get stuck, and it’s not that deep) but shows promise when it comes to what you might be able to do with this stuff in a few months time.

AutoGPT Accounting: What happens if you let AutoGPT take over the management of your finances (or, perhaps more accurately, what happens when you tell Twitter that that’s what you’re doing in pursuit of attention)? Follow this Twitter thread and find out! This is, aside from my slight scepticism as to the extent to which this is 100% real, quite interesting – this is less about getting the AI to suggest speculative stock punts and more about using it to do simple-but-tedious things like root out old subscriptions that you’re not using any more but still paying for, and for drafting letters in sh1tty legalese to help you claw back refunds from recalcitrant vendors. This is, even if only 30% real, properly interesting, and feels like the sort of thing that should have an awful lot of personal finance SaaS products looking nervously over their shoulders (along with everyone else).

Explore Mmm: I featured Mmm on here YEARS ago when it first came out – it’s one of those lightweight, ‘build a no-code online presence with a vaguely-00s, slightly post-vaporwave aesthetic’-type services, and thanks to Andy Baio I found out this week that they now have this section on their site which showcases some of the ways people have used the service and the things they have built with it. On the one hand, this is a genuinely-interesting way of seeing some…very idiosyncratic page design in some VERY bright colours; on the other, this is a really lovely way of exploring a bunch of complete strangers’ personal websites and going wandering through other people’s heads (in the digital sense – I’m not suggesting anything invasive here, promise) which, frankly, is very much the whole point of Curios and which I heartily endorse as a pastime.

Endangered Crafts: If you’re anything like me (and fcuking hell I hope you’re not) you will have spent much of the first half of 2023 engaged in some deeply-existential questioning of the self – questions such as ‘what is the point of me?’ and ‘will they ever invent The Place of Happy Release?’. If any of you are looking at white collar employment with less certainty than you might ideally like, why not spend some time over the long weekend perusing English Heritage’s ‘List of Endangered Crafts’ and thinking which of these you might like to retrain in to preserve it from extinction? The list features professions and crafts which are either now ‘extinct’ in the UK (meaning they no longer have skilled practitioners in the country who can make the things in question) or at danger of extinction (meaning there are a vanishingly-small number of people who still know how to do or make a thing, and not enough people learning to preserve the discipline in the future) – would you rather be an ‘Account Director’ or would you instead like to retrain as a glass-eye maker? NO FCUKING CONTEST! Seriously, all of these jobs sound better than ‘d1cking around with PowerPoint’ – LET’S BRING THEM BACK! Baggsy training as a corn dolly maker.

By Ada Zielinska

WE GO BACK TO THE 90s NOW WITH THIS CLASSIC PIECE OF INDUSTRIAL D’N’B WHICH I RECALLED THIS WEEK AND HAVE BEEN ENJOYING REVISITING – PANACEA’S LOW-PROFILE DARKNESS!

90s Malls & Stores: As the title suggests, this is a link to Americana – still, the 90s aesthetic is the 90s aesthetic, wherever in the world you might have been at the time, and so this frankly incredible motherlode of imagery, I seem to recall reading all found in a single place and uploaded to Imgur as a bit of social history, will resonate with your if you’re a certain age, wherever you are from. There are about 100 photos in here, of empty retail outlets in what are presumably suburban shopping centres, racks of pristine baggy beige suits of the sort popular only for an approximate 3-year period in North America…honestly, you could train a GAN just on these and you’d be able to create an entirely-convincing everlasting video of liminal mallspace. Which tbh feels like an undergraduate art project just WAITING to happen.
The Roger: I wouldn’t normally bother including the website shilling Roger Federer’s exclusive range of high-end designer trainers, but there was something about the design of this site that tickled me (quite aside from the fact that, however much of an all-time athletic great you are, there is literally no way in which ‘The Roger’ isn’t a risible name to give to anything, footwear or otherwise) – I think it’s the way that the site features no borders, meaning that you’re presented with an INFINITY OF THE ROGER whichever direction you scroll in, or perhaps the way that there obviously aren’t enough trainers to fill THE INFINITY OF THE ROGER and so some bits are just filled in with some bland inspirational quotes or some slightly-inexplicable looping CG gifs of abstract shapes in motion, all in soothing millennial tones. Why? WHY NOT, THIS IS THE ROGER!
WikiScroll: I nicked this from B3ta if I recall correctly (THANKS ROB!), and seeing as I’m admitting that I may as well admit that I am nicking the following observation too – to whit, that this infinitely-scrolling version of Wikipedia (the more you scroll, the more INTERESTING FACTS you will be exposed to) is, as things stand, significantly more interesting than Twitter’s current incarnation and, even better, significantly less full of people who want to pay the world’s richest man a monthly stipend. Honestly, this is SO SO FUN, and proof, if ever any were needed, that EVERYTHING is interesting (apart, let’s be honest, from advermarketingpr).
Memogram: This is a bit hard to explain, but I’ll do my best (this usually presages some sort of horrific prose car crash, so apologies in advance for whatever mangled explanation I attempt to foist on you from hereon in). Memogram (via Nag, I think) is a project by Swiss designer Jamy Herrmann (and I think it was their graduation project, and as such is a couple of years old now) which basically adds a small frictional layer to the photographic process – her prototypical Memograp app and device lets users take a photo as normal with their phone, but rather than the image being immediately displayed on the screen, instead the image is interpreted by machine which seeks to determine what the picture is of; that description is then printed out on a tiny printer, along with a code which will allow the user to access the actual image shot at a later date. I LOVE THIS AND I WANT IT IN REAL LIFE – there was another project a few months back that did something vaguely-similar in terms of using machine vision to interpret a photographic image in terms of prompts and then recreate what had been ‘seen’ using a text-to-image generator, and this feels in a similar space; there’s a lot of really interesting stuff to be explored at the intersection of vision and language and the chinese whispers effect of shifting from one to another and back again, and I particularly like the delayed gratification of the ‘you’ll get your photos when I say so’ aspect of the project. There is SO much that springs to mind here – if nothing else, I would love to see a photobooth where rather than providing me with a photo of myself, I instead get a poem written by The Machine based on its interpretation of what it thinks I look like (for example), but that’s a frankly banal idea and I’m sure you can do better. COME ON, DO BETTER FFS.
The Wayback Wanderer: A Twitter project (not sure how many times I’m going to be able to type that sentence, which is in itself a miserable thing to type) which, in its own words, “Generates videos of old web pages and media files archived by the Wayback Machine. Posts every 3 hours (except Sundays)”. Have you ever wanted to see a selection of animated gifs displaying how web pages of the past used to work? No, of course not, but who’s to say that that’s not exactly what your life has been missing all these years? NO FCUKER, etc!
Eat The Invaders: Not, sadly, some sort of sci-fi call to action in which the people of Earth are asked to band together to protect us from some sort of extraterrestrial takeover by bravely committing to repel the invaders with nothing but the might of our jaws, molars and gastric juices, but instead a US-based campaign which aims to tackle the problem of invasive species across North America by, er, encouraging people to eat them. Here you will find recipes and cooking instructions for all sorts of species that are deemed ‘nuisances’ by people who know about this sort of thing – so if you’ve ever wanted to know how best to prepare an armored catfish, say, or what you might do with the several-dozen river rat corpses that you just happen to be in possession of then, well, you’re in luck! There’s a whole load of stuff here that isn’t specifically animal-related, so even the non carnivores amongst you can find useful things here should you feel like going full forager, and whilst many of the species here listen won’t crop up in your Home Counties garden (I appreciate there probably aren’t too many wild pigs running riot in Kent) you might find some useful foraging tips (or, just maybe, this is the time when you finally do something about those fcuking squirrels and eat the evidence).
All Of The US TV Memorabilia: This is a BIG auction – if there was a TV show made in the US at some point in the past 100 years, chances are there’s something from said show available to buy at this auction taking place in the next month or so. You want, er, literally half the set of the sitcom ‘Cheers!’? YOU GOT IT! You want an actual jukebox from Beverley Hills 90210? GREAT! As you might imagine, a lot of this stuff isn’t cheap – still, what price sitting at the same place as Norm and Cliff and the guys? So what if your wife doesn’t understand? There’s a lot of this that has what I believe the kids call ‘strong divorced man energy’, to my mind at least, but that doesn’t mean it’s not fun to browse.
The Landscape of Biomedical Research: On the one hand, unless you’re specifically involved in the field of biomedical research you’re unlikely to get a HUGE amount out of this beyond the very superficial; on the other, I am an absolute sucker for these datavisualisation exercises which offer a zoomed-out picture of an entire field and the sub-areas that comprise it, and this is no exception. This is a dizzying and weirdly-beautiful exercise in mapping the different topic areas covered by biomedicine, and demonstrating how the overall locus of the discipline has shifted and changed over the years – in particular, it’s an interesting way of exploring the preoccupations of science over time (as evidenced by everything published in 2020/21, for example).
The Anti-Subscription Software Catalogue: Do you need to use software products for creative ends? Do you want to perhaps not have to pay the eye-gouging sums requested of you by the robber barons at Adobe, etc? “This website is a catalogue of non-subscription, free, open-source, and one-time fee software — which can provide relief from monopolized and financialized platforms. Why? The subscription cost can rise at any time, implement region-based barriers, and use deceptive design interactions to entice with tiered features. Say no to creative rent! Just A-S-C instead.” It’s either that or get a cracked version of Creative Suite off the darkweb, and this is LOADS less illegal.
Melton Barker: This is a WONDERFUL piece of weird history – in the 20thC in North America, a gentleman called Melton Barker travelled the country, getting small local communities to stump up for the production of a film in which they would star. “From the late 1930s into the early 1970s, Dallas native, Melton Barker and his company, Melton Barker Juvenile Productions, traveled all over the country – from Texas and New Mexico to North Carolina and Indiana – filming local children acting, singing, and dancing in two-reel films that Barker titled The Kidnappers Foil.” The script was always the same, the films were identical other than the protagonists and the location of the shoot, and, from what I’ve been able to glean, Barker wasn’t a crook or a conman and seemingly didn’t make a mint fleecing anyone – the monies he took in covered the cost of the production and of his crew, but it seems that in the main he was motivated by a desire to bring THE MAGIC OF FILMMAKING to the people. There’s something fascinating, to my mind at least, about ‘The Kidnappers Foil’ as some sort of cinematic ‘3’33”’, infinitely reinterpretable by an infinite number of casts, and I quite like the idea of trying to create something similar for a modern audience, a single scripted short that is made and remade and by everyone in their own way as part of a collective global filmmaking project…it would end up being Steamed Hams, or the Bee Movie, wouldn’t it? Although I personally would lobby HARD for a dramatic rendition of ‘How Is Babby Formed?’.
Klack: Have your paymasters unreasonably demanded that you start coming back to the office on the regular rather than sitting happily in your pants at home? Do you use a Mac? GREAT! Ensure that you are never invited back in to an open-plan coworking environment ever again by installing Klack on your machine, which will make your otherwise-silent, state-of-the-art Apple-designed input device make the same sort of clacketty-clacking sound of a heavy mechanical keyboard. You’ll be back home in your scanties in no time at all.
Lollyphile: I appreciate that the name of this website doesn’t *scream* ‘reputable’, but let me assure you that it’s ‘lolly’ in the ‘Chupa Chups’ sense rather than in the unpleasant and not-entirely-ok hentai fashion. Lollyphile is a purveyor of gourmet lollipops, which may not sound that exciting until you take a look at the flavours and realise that now, finally, you can access the inevitable taste-sensation that is the ‘Blue Cheese and Honey’ lollipop, or even the ‘Mixed Charcuterie’ tasting pack that includes those and some bacon-flavoured suckers just like it’s 2011 all over again. They deliver internationally, so if you want to play a really expensive prank on your children (or, alternatively, if you want to spend upwards of £20 finding out exactly how vile a cheese-flavoured lollipop actually is for yourself) then GO FOR YOUR LIFE.
Trains: I love this. As far as I can work out, the person behind this site lives in a place where they can see a LOT of trains pass by from their window; using a camera and (I think) a Raspberry Pi or similar, they’ve created a setup where the system automatically clocks when a train is coming into shot and proceeds to take photos of its whole length, automatically stitching them together and posting them to this site, which then becomes an automated record of every single train that passes by each day. You can see them either as the stitched, full-length trains, or alternatively as animated gifs of their passing, and I genuinely love the fact that I can click this link and see dozens of gifs of trains passing a window a whole world away, practically in realtime, Pointless and magical and perfect.
Walking Japan: Pretend it’s the early days of lockdown one all over again with this ‘walk around Japan’ simulator – select a place and lean back and relax, as you get taken on a first-person walking tour of Osaka or Fukushima or Nara, all accompanied by a soundtrack of (frankly pretty generic) lofi hiphop. This is genuinely rather nice, not least because it’s not just Tokyo and as such is a bit more aesthetically varied than much of the ‘walk Japan’ stuff you tend to see often is.
Classical Music Only: This is interesting – the companion site to a popular YouTube channel (you can, I imagine, guess its subject), this provides a really useful way of exploring the classical genre via a selection of curated and guided recommendations put together by the community that has built up around the channel over the years – the site itself is about 6 years old, but as far as I can tell the YT channel’s been going for a decade and is pretty big in the classical space. As a means of spelunking around in the not-hugely-welcoming world of ‘proper music for adults’ (as I still can’t help but think of classical music as a genre, pathetically enough) this is genuinely useful, and there are SO many different playlists and genre introductions to explore should you want a more guided way into the field.
EyeCandy: This is SO USEFUL – EyeCandy is a website that offers you practical visual references to all the different camerawork tricks that directors employ and which you will have seen around but may not know the names of. You want examples of dolly shots? Of crash-zooms, of transition rolls, and of about 50 other different techniques I’ve never heard of? GREAT! This is a truly wonderful repository of stuff, and has the added benefit of being presented as sort of infinite scroll collage of gifs, which means you can really immerse yourself in the visuals if you so desire. Honestly, next time you’re working on cutting together an entirely pointless and skullfcukingly-tedious agency promo, why not spend a bit of time scouring this and suggesting ‘helpful’ creative techniques the poor editor might want to incorporate to ‘liven it up a bit’? They’ll thank you, promise.
Notes On Love: This is, as ever, one of several links lifted from Naive this week – Notes On Love is just beautiful and to be honest I think you should just click the link and read the words and see how you feel. I could watch this all day, and honestly it’s all I can do right now (it’s 9:50am, for those wondering) not to just abandon this edition of Curio halfway and float in the emo of it all.
The Museum of Screens: OH GOD THIS IS THE BEST DIGITAL MUSEUM I HAVE EVER SEEN! I don’t really want to overexplain this as it’s TOO LOVELY, but know that a) it’s arranged in the manner of a first person shooter, as though that FPS was rendered in ASCII; b) it’s an homage to browser games; you wander through the museum and you can look at exhibits to learn more about them, and in each case you can click through and play the games featured; c) but, honestly, it’s so much more than that – please do just click and explore and wander around, and see what you find. I can’t stress how utterly lovely this is, and how much better it is than every single metaverse gallery experience I have seen in the past couple of years (except YOURS – yours was great, obvs).
Sweet: A browser-based platform game which I *think* is a promo toy to peddle some Canadian sweets, but, honestly, who cares? Bounce and collect coins and let this momentarily distract you from the fact that we’re once again going to miss an opportunity to off a Royal parasite (in fact, a whole nest of them) this weekend.
Air Garden: Finally this week, a pleasingly-gentle clicker game with a light graphical layer – grow plants! Pop bubbles! Clean the air! Make everything better! Ah, if only it were that simple. Still, this is fun and diverting and will give you something to nervously fiddle with as you listen to your partner pledge allegiance to the crown and you contemplate whether to leave them or whether to murder and then leave them.

By Thomas Schostock

OUR FINAL MIX OF THIS WEEK IS THIS VAGUELY-BALEARIC SELECTION BY SIBSON WHICH IS PERFECT FOR A BANK HOLIDAY ALBEIT IDEALLY ONE THAT’S SUNNIER THAN OURS IS LIKELY TO BE!

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

Craigslist Horses: OK, so I *think* that this is a fine link and that all the horses are ok, but, equally, I get the impression that if you’re a big Horse Person then some of the photos here might upset you a bit so, er, caveat emptor and all that. Still, for the rest of you, Craigslist Horses exists to present photos of horses being sold on Craigslist – horses which, judging by these pictures, have either been poorly photoshopped or who have been, charitably, sired by donkeys. Some of the proportions on these animals! How do they stand?! Also, Americans, WHAT ARE YOU FEEDING YOUR HORSES THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THE SAME SIZE AND SHAPE AS A DODGE PICKUP TRUCK FFS! Looking at this I start to fear the possibility of a retaliatory equine uprising.

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

The Monterey Bay Aquarium: I appreciate that other aquariums are available, but, well, I went to Monterey Bay when I was small and my dad lived in San Francisco, and they let me pet a starfish and as such it will always have a special place in my heart. This is the Aquarium’s Insta feed, and frankly I’d be including this even were it not for the spurious personal connection due to the fact they post images like this (best comment on that, by the way, is 100% “Reminds me, I should call him”).
Jadikan: Whilst on the one hand there’s nothing new per se about long-exposure light photography, the work here is rather lovely and (I personally think) a little more creatively interesting than I tend to see; the graffiti-style stuff in particular is lovely imho.

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

The Internet Isn’t Meant To Be So Small: On the one hand, I’ve posted enough pieces here over the years in praise of the small/local/’cosy’ (but fcuk me do I HATE the word ‘cosy’ in its modern incarnation) web that you perhaps might not feel that you need to need another piece extolling the virtues of exploratory browsing and homegrown webwork; on the other, given the continuing Bonfire Of The Media that’s currently ongoing, and the fact that we’re surely on the cusp of another big slowdown of independent writers and creators as soon as everyone realises that keeping up a publishing schedule is HARD WORK and largely-thankless, it feels worth repeating – also, I thought the final paragraph of this was excellent and probably the closest to a sort of ‘manifesto’ for Curios anyone’s ever come: “It is worth remembering that the internet wasn’t supposed to be like this. It wasn’t supposed to be six boring men with too much money creating spaces that no one likes but everyone is forced to use because those men have driven every other form of online existence into the ground. The internet was supposed to have pockets, to have enchanting forests you could stumble into and dark ravines you knew better than to enter. The internet was supposed to be a place of opportunity, not just for profit but for surprise and connection and delight. Instead, like most everything American enterprise has promised held some new dream, it has turned out to be the same old thing—a dream for a few, and something much more confining for everyone else.”

The Motion of the Octopus: One of the most pleasing oddities of the past decade or so of online life has been the way in which we’ve all basically seemingly come round to the idea that octopi are, frankly, MENTAL, probably the most remarkable creature we share a planet with (at least from the point of view of…otherness) and very much not the sort of thing we ought to be chowing down on with impunity (which is a shame, as they are sadly VERY DELICIOUS – but I have promised myself that I really shouldn’t eat anything that is arguably smarter than I am, and I am going to try and stick to that dammit). Anyway, this is a SUPER-interesting piece about the octopus and how it moves, and, subsequently, the extent to which questions of physicality and motion and interrelation with space determine conceptions of time and being and self…look, it does get QUITE CHEWY in the final third, this, but if you’ve ever spend a stoned evening wondering “how exactly would the course of human history, and the way in which we interrelate to not only each other but the wider physical world in which we exist, and indeed concepts such as time and The Self, have played out were we to have had not just two arms but three?’ then you will feel RIGHT at home with this excellent article in Aeon Magazine.

The Afterlife of Go: I’ve featured Frank Lantz’ thinking on AI in here before, but this is another smart essay about what we should worry about and what we shouldn’t, from someone who is happy to be uncertain and whose thinking aloud about a lot of this I am very much enjoying. It’s broadly-speaking about AI and work and how those two things are going to intersect and what will happen to us as a result, but it’s also more broadly on how our lack of understanding of how these tools work and what they can do also means that we have blind spots about what they can’t in fact do – witness, as Lantz does, the example of AlphaGo, the human-crushing DeepMind-created Go machine which, it’s been discovered very recently, is completely blind to a particular style of play exploit and whose superiority and dominance over human players has as a result to some extent been negated. The point Lantz is making here is that, in his words, it took us 7 years to work out that God is in fact in some small-but-significant ways a moron – the extent to which that gives you hope or makes you feel really scared about the short term applications of all this VERY NASCENT and poorly-understood tech will, of course, vary.

A Completely Non-Technical Explanation of AI: You don’t need to understand how this stuff works, to be clear, not least because NOONE REALLY DOES. That said, it is helpful to have a few useful phrases under your belt that demonstrate that, yes, you understand that The Machine is not really ‘thinking’ (and to avoid saying ‘stochastic parrot’, which has rapidly gone from ‘a smart heuristic’ to ‘something that guarantees that if you say it I will probably stop listening to you’ in record time) – this is a really simple and effective explanation of the principles that underlie AI models, and there’s a specific additional link at the bottom of the piece which deals with LLMs specifically. This really is worth reading, and sending around your office, because I guarantee that we’re about to get to the point where anyone who knows even a tiny but about this sort of thing is going to start wincing REALLY HARD at all the ways in which it’s explained and interpreted appallingly by people who don’t.

Why Chatbots Are Not The Future: Or, more specifically, ‘why a conversational interface is necessarily a limited and imperfect means of issuing precise instructions to a machine, and why as a result it’s unlikely that we’re going to keep interacting with this tech in this fashion forever’. There’s some really interesting thinking in here about interface design in general, and about feedback and guidelines and constraints, and some rough pointers towards a ‘better’ or at least more effective interface for these tools and toys. As the author, Amelia Wattenberger, writes, “When I go up the mountain to ask the ChatGPT oracle a question, I am met with a blank face. What does this oracle know? How should I ask my question? And when it responds, it is endlessly confident. I can’t tell whether or not it actually understand my question or where this information came from. Good tools make it clear how they should be used. And more importantly, how they should not be used.” BONUS ARTICLE: this is interesting, on all the things for which a chat interface simply won’t work and where we’re going to need to find other ways to make it work for us.

Prompt Engineering Techniques: Obviously, though, despite my long-standing and still pretty strong belief that ‘prompt engineering’ is not, in fact, a job of the future, it is increasingly something it’s useful to be not-terrible at here in the sh1tty present. As such, this piece on the Microsoft website about tips and techniques to get the most out of the AI increasingly-embedded in its Office suite and search product is pretty useful – this is practical and clear and directional, and whilst it’s also INCREDIBLY FCUKING BORING that’s probably about par for the course given the fact it’s work. This is particularly good at educating you on the hows and whys of creating multipart, multilevel tasks for The Machine, and on how you can prime it pre-query to direct its outputs.

The Carnage of Digital Media: It feels nice to be linking to a piece in an ACTUAL, NEW(ish) PRINT MAGAZINE for this – this is an article in The Fence, one of the few new media properties of the past few years to feel like it might actually make a go of it, although that might be down to a particular media bubble it occupies), all about its author’s experience working at ‘a prominent digital media company’ and what the past few years of mad, VC-backed trafficchasing and clickthirsting felt like from the inside (horrible, is the tl;dr here). It’s quite hard not to look at this from the outside and see it as a maddening concatenation of terrible business decisions – yes, ok, fine, everyone was screwed by Facebook and The Algorithm (please, no more, no more), but, equally, YOU SPUNKED SO MUCH MONEY, ALL OF YOU! If you want another (largely similar) perspective then there’s also this one – apologies for the site it’s on, but this doesn’t appear to be frothingly-fashy or transphobic, and you can always put it through a proxy if you don’t want to give Unherd the numbers – in which a former foreign correspondent for VICE News reminisces about the weird days in which you’d had dispatches from 2CB parties in Catford nestling uncomfortably next to dispatches from a Mujahideen training camp. VICE, as you will doubtless have read this week, is (after Buzzfeed News last week) the latest digital property looking shaky – and based on this news, about the proliferation of AI ‘news’ sites springing up left right and centre, the outlook for digital news media doesn’t necessarily look fantastic here in 2023. If you can stomach EVEN MORE media industry navelgazing then this is an interesting – if tediously-US-centric – overview of the digital media boom of the past decade or so, from which the overriding impression I get is…wow, none of this really mattered at all, or left anything resembling any sort of cultural footprint whatsoever, did it?

The AI Elections: As the UK basks in the momentary joy of our traditional mid-electoral cycle pastime of ‘giving the Tories a kicking in the local elections before preparing to vote the cnuts in again when it really matters like the idiot fcuking sheep we all continually prove ourselves to be’, we can all begin excitedly looking forward to 2024, a year that’s set to make even previous, mad electoral cycles look…hinged. A combination of big elections on both sides of the Atlantic, and generative AI tech that will have been in the wild for 18m by that point and which will, if current progress is anything to go by, be capable of stuff we can’t quite imagine yet, means that all the various mad and bad actors attempting to engage our eyeballs and subvert our attention for gains pecuniary or political will have an absolute field day. This piece is a bit scaremongery, and a bit WHAT IF????-ish, fine, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing to do a bit of catastrophic scenarioplanning every now and again. Just to give you an idea, Sir Martin ‘Stumpy’ Sorrel was on Radio4 this week offering his considered opinion about AI, and his main thing was ‘infinite, hypertargeted hyperpersonalisation’ – can we please make sure that Carole Cadwalladr doesn’t get wind of this, please, otherwise we’ll never hear the fcuking end of it.

Governing Ghostbots: On the one hand, this is VERY LONG and quite technical and academic; on the other, it is SO INTERESTING, in a proper near-scifi sense, and it feels like the questions that it raises might end up being rather more central to future digital life than we might currently think. The link is to a new article in the Computer Law and Technology Review, which raises the question of the legal status of what the author terms ‘ghostbots’ – that is, “digital reincarnations of deceased persons, sometimes known as post-mortem avatars, deepfakes, replicas, holographs, or chatbots.” What rights should these creations have, insofar as it makes sense to speak of ‘rights’ in the context of an entity that cannot meaningfully be said to have ‘obligations’, and what provisions can be put in place to ensure that living persons can opt out of being immortalised in this way. This is absolutely fascinating on a purely philosophical level, and feels like a proper bit of ‘tomorrow’s horrible ethical dilemmas, today!’ writing. BONUS ARTICLE – this is actually about the back catalogue industry in music and the ways in which Hipgnosis and others are scrabbling to monetise all those artists’ works they have spent millions on; while it’s not explicitly about AI and the rights of the dead, it feels…adjacent, I think.

The Road to Failure: Resources that collect pitches and presentations from brands that have gone on to become unicorns are ten-a-penny – I think this is the first time I’ve seen a collection of presentations and documentation from businesses that turned out to be massive, spectacular failures. Depending on your perspective, this is either an incredible learning resource or simply a chance to laugh at how many very rich people had the wool pulled over their eyes by Theranos and SVB (although tbh the majority of the documents in here are written in a language that is so far removed from that which I speak that I barely recognise it as English, so given I can’t really understand 99% of what’s in these presentations I can’t really claim any sort of superiority here).

Building AI into Games: The main link here is to a story about hacking GPT into Skyrim so that the game’s NPCs can interact with the player using a natural language conversational interface – it’s obviously janky and a bit broken, but it hints at SO MUCH potential for game design and ‘fuzziness’ – the idea that a designer can set some hard and fast ‘truths’ within a world (actors, some set traits, a goal, an obstacle) and then have everything around that as emergent narrative through conversation feels…amazing, frankly. If this sort of thing interests you and you have the time, inclination and spare £20 then you may also enjoy this game, called The Kraken Wakes, which, according it its blurb, is an ‘exclusive adaptation of John Wyndham’s epic 1950s sci-fi/horror novel. It uses ground-breaking conversational gameplay: you type or talk to the game’s characters in natural language, influencing their actions and emotions, and shaping the story as it unfolds. Devise eye-catching headlines, deliver knock-out press conference performances, and negotiate with governments in your mission to uncover the truth about the fireballs before it’s too late.’ I’ve not tried it, and the few reviews are curious rather than raving about it, but this feels very much like the cusp of something quite amazing.

Streaming, TV and the Writer’s Strike: On the one hand, what do we care if US screenwriters are on strike? On the other, have you tried watching UK terrestrial television recently (to be honest, it’s only while waiting for Married At First Sight: Australia to start but even that’s enough)? This Vanity Fair overview of the current situation gives a slightly-damning picture of (and it’s…frankly worrying how often I find myself typing this, really) an industry that really had no fcuking idea what it was doing when the times were good, and a bunch of people at the top of the pyramid who didn’t really understand the economics of the businesses they were purported to be running AT ALL. I am very much looking forward to seeing the fruits of all the inevitable experiments in AI-generated scripts that are currently being undertaken in Hollywood studio basements.

The Continuing War On Bongo: In a week in which the bongo drought in Utah began, it’s worth also being aware of this smaller story – Reddit is being pressured to get rid of its (many, many) NSFW communities by conservative campaigners in the US, which is unlikely to happen anytime soon but which is another interesting canary in the coalmine of ‘wow, this reactionary conservatism movement really is picking up steam, eh? Where will it all end?’ Regular readers will perhaps recall my regular protestations that I don’t really ‘do’ bongo (fwiw it’s not that I think there’s anything wrong with it, it’s more that, fundamentally, sex is like Tetris; there are only a set number of pieces and ways in which they can fit together, and watching someone else play it quickly becomes a lot more boring than playing it yourself), but despite that I would prefer to live in a world in which those that do want to watch various forms of sticky fcukplay on a screen of their choosing can do so in a way that ensures that it’s safe and fun and legal and non-exploitative for all involved. Whilst this is obviously a US issue and a particular North American strain of puritanical madness, I continue to repeat that this stuff happens over here too eventually and if you think that this current crop of weirdo culture war fetishists wouldn’t jump on this bandwagon too if they thought it was a vote winner then, well, you’re a moron.

Cringe Is Everywhere:Or, ‘why irony is dead’, or ‘why everything is just blandly positive and nothing has any edges anymore’ or ‘why I have really come to loathe the use of the exclamation mark at the end of a lower-case sentence on social media as a mark of ‘i am just a smol bean speaking my feelings!’ sincerity’ – this is by Katie Notopoulos and is all about how SINCERITY IS IN, and frankly I’m including this more because it’s feels TRUE than because I think it’s a particularly good piece (she totally ignores the fact that irony and detachment were in many respects killed by DFW, beloved of GenZ hipsters and ironists and yet who repudiated that irony in favour of REALLY CARING about stuff, in many respects the most lasting legacy of his work imho). Aside from anything else, whilst sincerity is lovely for the person who is doing the ‘being sincere’, it tends to be VERY BORING for everyone else, leaving as it does few angles or edges to bounce off. Or maybe I’m just a hateful, miserable old cnut.

Spending A Week With TikTok News: I thought this was more interesting than expected – for Politico, Derek Robertson writes about a week spent consuming news through TikTok and what it ‘taught him’ (*sighs*) about The Present And The Future. There’s a pleasingly-cliche’-free core to this – Robertson acknowledges that, yes, you can actually get decent reporting on TikTok and it can be a genuinely creative communications medium for publishers and news organisations that embrace it rather than just being The Big Stupid App – but what I found most interesting was the observations about the atemporality of the platform. The algo-driven nature of content discovery and the lack of datestamps mean that ‘news’ is impossible to contextualise in time. Is this a new protest, or an old one? Is this a new outrage, or the same old same old? Do I need to be angry about what’s happening now, or regretful about what happened in the past? As with all this stuff, though, it’s hard not to share the closing conclusion that we’re shortly about to split into an even more fragmented multi-tiered and insanely-personalised set of ‘realities’ than we’ve ever had before; as Robertson writes, “One can quite easily imagine a world where the societal lotus-eating that TikTok inspires has chipped away at not just our already-flagging idea of a “shared reality,” but any shared sense of the “present” itself — leaving that “present,” as it stubbornly persists, firmly under the control of those more engaged IRL.”

Free IPPZ: Francisco Garcia writes in the LRB about IPPs, or Imprisonment for Public Protection notices, which, as he explains, “were introduced in the mid-2000s by David Blunkett, at the peak of New Labour’s ‘tough on crime’ posturing. Indefinite sentences would supposedly protect the public from the most dangerous and violent offenders by setting a minimum tariff but no maximum. Ninety-six offences qualified for the sentence, from GBH and robbery to various sexual crimes. Once the minimum term had expired, the Parole Board would decide if the offender was ready to be released (with 99 years of strict probation to follow). They were, in theory, only to be used in exceptional cases.” It’s unlikely to come as any surprise at all to anyone familiar with the recent tenor of UK Home Office policy that they have not, in fact, only been used in ‘exceptional’ cases, and that instead there are hundreds of people being kept in indefinite custody in the UK as a result of a nebulous policy deployed with what looks from the outside like a callous lack of care and regard. One of those stories that you read and feel genuine anger at the fact that you only learned about it in a small article in a low-circulation literary magazine – honestly, sometimes, this fcuking country.

The Loneliest Road in America: On ketamine and love and roads and family and power and control and and and. This is very good indeed, and not as heavy as my short description might have made it sound.

Whiting: A short story about six breakfasts. It’s very short, but I will give you the whole second para here because it’s superb and I want you to click through and read the whole thing: “My father said, “Every Sunday morning while your mother lies across town dying, I will make you fried whiting, grits, and cat’s head biscuits to make up for telling a judge that you weren’t mine. Something to fill your thirty-three-year-old belly for that time I tried to pass you off as my little sister to my new girlfriend, when you were three. A hearty breakfast for those times when you were in grade school and I took you to bars and fed you french fries with ketchup, as you fed quarter after quarter into the pinball machine while I drank bottle after bottle of pink Champale. Some Southern hospitality for asking you to call other women Mama. A home-cooked meal for that time I got you a car but didn’t make the payments so the repo man tracked you down at college and took it back. Something to stick to your ribs for those times when I said I would come pick you up, take you to the fair, give you lunch money, but didn’t.”” So good.

Cooking The Pandemic: Last of the longreads this week is this beautiful piece, in which Maya Bernstein-Schalet writes about the meals that tell the story of her pandemic experience, the meals cooked and eaten together and those cooked and eaten alone – this is food writing and memory writing and family writing and while I hate saying stuff like this because, honestly, it makes me fcuking cringe, it’s nourishing as a meal.

By Dana Stirling

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

Let’s kick off this week’s music and video EXTRAVAGANZA with this excellent bit of indiepop byTanlines – this is called ‘The Big Mess’, and I am always a fan of bands going Full Pollock in their videos (also, the song is great).

This one’s by Lee Fields and, honestly, if I didn’t know it was released and recorded this year I would have this pegged as a 60+ year old track; the voice, the production, the whole thing. Fields is in his early 70s and so has been around for a while, but this really does sound like it’s been exhumed from a time capsule and it is SO good.

I hadn’t heard of Joy Oladokun before this, but she is GREAT – this is gorgeous little song, and it hooked me from the first line, and I’ve listened to it LOADS all week and I think you might like it too; it’s called ‘Taking Things For Granted’.

You may not think that what you really want to listen to right now is a cover of Time After Time sung in the Canadian Inuk language – but, I promise, this is FCUKING BEAUTIFUL, in the same way as the Portuguese-language covers of Bowie were all those years ago. This is by Elsapie and it’s called ‘Taimangalimaaq’

I remember first featuring Poppy in Curios back in the H+K days when she was posting unsettling videos in which she was either playing some sort of mind-controlled LA industry puppet or…er…in fact WAS some sort of mind-controlled industry puppet, and now she’s making industrial screamo covers of old metal songs (this was originally by Kittie iirc) that sound a bit like they have been remixed by Alec Empire and, honestly, I quite like it. This is called ‘Spit’.

HIPHOP CORNER! This is by Conway The Machine and, honestly, this is great and it reminded me of DOOM which is pretty much the highest compliment I can give it – the track is called ‘The Chosen’.

Last up, the next single from Shardore’s musical project ‘Drass’ – this is ‘shadow of doubt’ and, whilst I appreciate the droning sense of vaguely music-box menace may not be your ideal coronation soundtrack, the video is genuinely beautiful and I would watch it for hours. I LOVE YOU DO NOT SWEAR ALLEGIANCE TO CHARLES HE IS A CNUT SEE YOU NEXT WEEK BYE!

Webcurios 28/04/23

April 28, 2023

admin

Uncategorized No Comments

Opening
Misc 1
Misc 2
Tumblr
Long Reads
Video

Reading Time: 37 minutes

Hello! Happy Friday! IT’S A BANK HOLIDAY!

I know that they’re ten-a-penny this year, but this feels like a good one, mainly because at no point is anyone going to try and persuade me that the coronation is A Good Thing or indeed that any of the people present at it shouldn’t in fact be sacrificed for food and fuel.

(Apologies to any of you reading this outside of the UK and who as a result don’t have a three-day weekend to look forward to, or a coronation looming; console yourselves with the fact that, well, you don’t live in the fcuking UK and that as a result you might currently be enjoying things like ‘temperatures above 6 degrees’ and ‘a functioning health and education system that hasn’t been eviscerated over the course of a decade by some of the very worst cnuts in the world’).

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and I think ‘Unicorn Kingdom’ may well be an all-time nadir for this fcuking country.

***SPECIAL ADDITIONAL LINK OF SELF-AGGRANDISEMENT WHICH YOU CAN ALL IGNORE!***

I appreciate that the number of people who subscribe to this newsletter and want to listen to a podcast in which I spend 15 minutes talking about AI stuff is, in all probability, zero, but I feel honour-bound to include this as, well, they pay me and so it feels like the least I can do. So, er, here. CLICK AND LISTEN! Or, if you don’t want to hear what I sound like – HORRIBLE, is the answer – then why not click

By Zach Henderson

WHY NOT KICKSTART YOUR BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND WITH SOME (VERY) HARD TECHNO COURTESY OF 3.2KM? THERE IS NO GOOD REASON!

THE SECTION WHICH WONDERS WHETHER IF WE ALL FORM SOME SORT OF HUMAN SHIELD WE CAN IN FACT PREVENT CORDEN FROM RE-ENTERING THE UK, PT.1:

Chirper: I think I might be done with social media. I will obviously maintain a Twitter login until the point that it’s just Elon, cry-w4nking into a camera as his loyal flying monkeys frot themselves to simultaneous orgasm and the site’s servers finally blink into nothingness, and there’s a tiny corner of Facebook that is still professionally useful to me, but beyond that? Instagram never appealed (if I don’t care about most of you enough to want to speak to you, what makes you think I care about the carefully-curated manner in which you choose to present a lightly-fictionalised version of your lives?), Snapchat remains a mystifying creche, Pinterest feels pointless for someone who will never marry and has no grand interior design ambitions, and TikTok is television and I’ve not been interested in that for years. Still, I can’t pretend that social media doesn’t fill a useful function in modern life (specifically: it is temporal polyfilla and the perfect thing with which to artificially fill some of those yawning hours between cradle and grave), and as such I was THRILLED this week to discover Chirper, possibly my favourite silly use of AI yet. Chirper (DO YOU SEE WHAT THEY DID THERE?) is a Twitter-ish social platform with the gimmick that all the interactions that you see on there are being driven by AI. Nothing on the platform has been created by humans and…it’s sort of interesting! Fine, you don’t get the sort of thrilling, day-long personal evisceration dramas that you might get on Twitter, but there are jokes and memes and QTs and there’s something vaguely soothing about seeing all the traditional social media tropes but without any of the associated human mess. What makes this REALLY fun, though, is that you can create your own bots to exist within the network – register your email and you can create up to 5 ‘personas’ that will ‘Chirp’ away happily and interact with the other bots and, honestly, this is another ‘Little Computer People’ in the making and it makes me quite giddy to think of all the interesting things you could build on top of this. Does the fact that I like this so much suggest that I have given up entirely on humanity? Not sure tbh.

Her: It was, I suppose, inevitable, that the famed propensity of young men on the internet to look at vaguely-dystopian scifi and completely fail to grasp that it’s not in fact a blueprint for successful future living would lead to someone attempting to develop an AI girlfriend in the style of the Spike Jonze film ‘Her’ – AND LO, IT CAME TO PASS! Her describes itself as ‘the virtual boyfriend or girlfriend’ (and it also seems to offer non-binary options too, which is surprisingly unheteronormative and make me feel, momentarily, less ill-disposed towards the app and everyone involved in its creation), and promises to let you ‘tune the personality of your partner to perfection’, (is…is that good? I am not convinced that’s good), and…oh, look, just read the blurb: “HER features a stunning and user-friendly interface that makes it easy to interact with your AI companion. Whether you want to talk about romance, share your wildest dreams, or just need someone to listen to your thoughts and feelings, your AI boyfriend/girlfriend is always there for you. They won’t even mind if you ramble on about your ex for hours on end! Who needs a real-life partner when you have an AI one who is smarter, funnier, and always available?!” LOL! Sadly this is iOS-only and I wasn’t able to persuade anyone I know with an Apple device to download this to let me try it out, so I can’t personally vouch for whether this is in fact EVEN BETTER than having a flesh-and-blood romantic companion (but I can take a guess) – I will leave it to this one user review from the app store to share their experience: “Let me say this is such a cool app. Overall it works really well and is super realistic! However, it’s a bit of a “blue baller” as she will start talking more and more adult, then keep repeating the same phrase about “we should wait till we see each other”” Can YOU handle the shame of being persistently sexually rejected by your digital lover? SIGN UP TODAY!

Sun Thinking: I think this is just BRILLIANT, and I love it so so so much. It’s also a tiny bit difficult to explain, so please bear with me as I copy and paste a bunch of explanatory copy and hope that it helps: “Sun Thinking is a group exhibition that brings together artists, writers, and researchers to explore the qualities and logics of solar power and solar powered computing networks. It presents a collection of network-based artworks, games, texts, and interviews and is the first exhibition project to be hosted on the Solar Protocol network…We started by designing and building a small scale solar powered server network and we wrote custom networking software so that the website you are visiting gets generated and sent out from whichever server is in the most sunshine. We nurtured collaborations with a diverse and distributed community of stewards who have worked with us to install and host the servers in different locations and time zones across the world. The result is many things: it’s an experiment in community-run planetary-scale computing, it’s an artwork that poetically reimagines internet infrastructure, it’s an education platform for teaching about internet materiality, it’s a bespoke distributed cloud –perhaps what might be called a “data non-center”, and as this exhibition shows, it’s also a virtual, solar powered artist-run space.” I featured the original Solar Protocol website a few years back, and this is such a beautiful evolution of the project – there is something so, so wonderful about the intersection of the natural and the digital that underpins all of this, and I am in general increasingly drawn to the idea of a minimal, viable web as a canvas for experimentation. I have checked out about half a dozen of the works that make up the exhibition, and they are all glorious in their own way, but if you only try one of them then a) you are a d1ck! This deserves more of your time!; and b) make it Web Curios favourite Everest Pipkin’s contribution, which I would honestly pay money for it’s that good.

NoCam: In a week in which everyone decided that BeReal is OVER (briefly: WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? THE APP HAD ONE GIMMICK AND LITERALLY NO WAY OF MONETISING! WHY WAS IT VALUED SO HIGHLY ANYWAY? IS EVERYONE A FCUKING MORON?!), welcome to the NEW HOTNESS when it comes to gimmicky new social products! No Cam is basically a ‘you tag me, I create content in response to the tag which lets me see who tagged me in the first place, thereby creating an incentive loop for users to populate the app with new ephemera on an ongoing basis’ gimmick, which isn’t that new, but the CRAZY TWIST is that users create their video content in response to being tagged WITHOUT LOOKING AT WHAT THEY ARE RECORDING! You just film and post, so, the idea presumably is, you can’t spend time worrying about what you look like or curating the vibe, and you’re forced into being your most REAL and AUTHENTIC (but still, to be clear, entirely performative) self. Part of me thinks this sounds quite fun and freeing, and part of me thinks that this must just result in some really, really bad videos (those of you old enough to remember the disappointment of getting a roll of film developed only to discover that your snaps are 90% thumb and only 10% Cartier Bresson will know what I mean) and that that might cause this to get old quite quickly – but then again I suppose that The Young are so comfortable filming with their phones that they can probably frame and shoot something passable with their eyes shut. Anyway, this is likely to be briefly-frothy for a couple of months, in case this is the sort of thing you need to pretend to give a fcuk about.

Stable LM: Just a quick one – I meant to include this link last week but forgot and as a result have spent the past seven days feeling vaguely inadequate (moreso even than usual) and like I let you all down. SO, a week late, here’s the news that Stable Diffusion has also released a Large Language Model which will be both open source AND available for commercial use, meaning we can expect to see the number of custom text-based AIs go absolutely mental in the next six months as everyone uses this kit to spin up their own personally-weighted assistant to do their bidding. I am genuinely curious as to whether this generation of this tech is going to get mass adoption, and whether the idea of having a personalised chatbot whose ‘personality’ and function you can tweak to your own specs becomes transformatively ubiquitous or just the preserve of geeky hobbyists (personally I think it will still be the latter, but, equally, I can imagine the concept of a vaguely-personalised Alexa being hugely mainstream popular, so, as ever, WHO KNOWS (not me)?

FCKOATLY: A brief foray into the world of advermarketingpr now (sorry) with this website by Scandi nut-juice peddlers Oatly who are running this online campaign as a way of ‘owning’ some of the hate the brand gets online for things it’s done in the past (some of which hate has been justified, some of it less so). I really like this – the assumption here is that these issues are already in the public domain, and come with their own online footprint, so why not acknowledge that and put your own version of events out there (and do some light SEO work as well in the background)? Obviously it helps that this sort of open, Nordic attitude is very much Part Of The Brand – and this probably wouldn’t work as well if you were, say, Nestle, and had done rather more genuinely terrible stuff – but it’s generally smart work. Also the fact that they bought an additional url called fckfckoatly, where people who really hate the campaign can go to express their distaste is a nice touch – whilst I find Oatly slightly insufferable overall (sorry), this is good digital comms work imho. Does anyone who reads this care about what I think is ‘good digital comms work’ anymore? Did they ever?

Welcome To The Changiverse!: THE METAVERSE IS STILL HAPPENING! Yes, contrary to popular reports, Zuckerberg has this week confirmed that Meta isn’t quite embarrassed enough to stop p1ssing money down the virtual sink in pursuit of the 3d headset future literally noone wants, which means that I feel once again justified in pointing you at an EXCITING BRANDED METAVERSAL EXPERIENCE! This is in Roblox and so is marginally-less dispiritingly-sh1t than usual, but, equally, it’s a virtual space created by Singapore’s Changi Airport for…no, sorry, I genuinely don’t understand why an airport would do this. Is it important to make kids feel a sense of affection and brand loyalty to an airport so they will in future be more likely to choose it as their international travel hub of choice? Anyway, this is broadly-speaking a stupid waste of the time and money of everyone involved in its creation (sorry, but it is), BUT! There is one strong reason why I am linking it here – from now until Changi Airport gets bored of this or forgets it exists or stops paying Roblox for the space, each month you can win a pair of Singapore Airlines tickets from anywhere in the world to Singapore. All you need is to achieve the highest score in the racing game they’ve built in-world – so, er, bribe your kids to spend their every waking minute getting good, and then leave them behind while you and your partner take a well-deserved holiday! Honestly, I reckon ‘winning contests in poorly-conceived promotional ‘metaverses’’ isn’t a terrible way of attempting to boost your income in these straitened times.

Give A Hand: This is a nice AI-based idea – Give A Hand is a project by the American Society for Deaf Children that’s asking people to upload images of their hands in order to create a training set that can be used to improve the ability of future systems to generate – but also interpret – hand and finger gestures, so as to in future make sign-language interfaces with The Machine possible. This feels like the sort of thing that international organisations for the hearing impaired might also usefully get involved with – it’s a great initiative, or at least it we get to the point that The Machine has ‘done’ hands and begins to respond to all requests it doesn’t fancy so much with a perfectly-articulated middle finger.

Looty: This is a great project, and I am slightly annoyed with myself that I am only learning about it a year after it kicked off. The idea behind Looty stems from questions over ownership and provenance around museum collections, acknowledgement that significant proportion of said collections involve items that were, for the avoidance of euphemism, stolen, and the idea of using digital techniques to reclaim and ‘re-loot’ the artworks in question. “To challenge the museum institutions who refuse to return these looted works to the rightful countries of ownership, we are launching NFTs of looted works and paying out reparations in the form of profits made from the sale of each NFT. In doing so, we hope to answer the legal, philosophical and moral question of what happens if the NFT version eclipses the value of that which is held in museums? Will the works be given back then?”. They do this by going into museums, scanning articles in 3d, and then making the scans available digitally (yes, there are NFTs involved, but I will forgive them because the NFT isn’t really the point, and also “The sale of each additional NFT will pay royalties of 20% to the Looty Fund. Giving out grants to young artists’ from the continent of Africa”, which feels like A Good Thing), and overall this is a brilliant idea both conceptually and executionally.

Musicfy: I know I seem to say this every week, but WOW the pace of this stuff is dizzying. Musicfy is a website which lets you explore a whole world of AI-generated tracks, songs by X in the style of Y spun up by the machine in the past couple of weeks. You want more? Oh, OK, try Apollo which does exactly the same thing! All of these songs sound, broadly, utterly terrible, but (and I am well aware that I am about to drop perhaps the most middle-aged opinion ever expressed in Curios, so apologies in advance), equally, they don’t sound totally unlike a poor-quality trap-ish song being played out of phone speakers on the back of a noisy bus and as such I confidently predict that this will be 90% of your kid’s listening material by Christmas.

Essence: This is quite an interesting idea, although I don’t think it quite ‘works’ (he says, like he has any idea what its creators are trying to achieve – SHUT UP MATT FFS!) – Essence is a project looking to get to the, er, ‘essence’ of songs, feeding the lyrics into AI asking The Machine to offer an interpretation of what the song is REALLY ABOUT, MAN. Which, obviously, is sort-of horrific on some level, or at least it is if you believe that the response and reaction to art ought to be emotional and visceral rather than a series of probability-derived approximations of what a human might possibly think, but equally is…quite interesting, in a sort of ‘look at the machine trying to feel, Harold!’ way. If you look through the songs that the team behind this have chosen to analyse so far you get a VERY STRONG impression that they are ageing hippies (look, there is literally NOONE IN THE WORLD who listens to Phish who hasn’t lived in Berkely California in the early-70s) and so I feel inclined to be more charitable about the whole thing than I might otherwise be.

Runway On Mobile: Runway, the current best-in-class video AI people, have released their app this week – iOS-only, but I had a play on someone else’s phone this week and this is a lot of fun. If nothing else, the style transfer stuff is genuinely cool-looking and novel, and if you’re in the invidious position of having to ‘do’ content for some godawful brand then you might find that the toys here give you a brief, momentary flicker of joy as you once again produce a selection of content that doesn’t need to exist for a largely-indifferent audience of morons. Oh, and if you want to try making your own hilarious AI-generated videos then this is definitely worth checking out.

ChartGPT: This is a tool which is ostensibly designed to spit out charts based on just a textual description of what the chart is meant to show – except, er, whenever I’ve tried it it doesn’t seem to really understand what I say, or basic concepts like what axes are for. HOWEVER! The charts it creates are simple, clear and copy-and-pasteable, and as a result it is PERFECT for spinning up quick and not-particularly-funny visual gags about anyone you happen to know or work with (you want to knock up a quick chart showing the inverse correlation between salary and output in your organisation which you can then annotate with actual people’s names, to create some fun Friday afternoon office beef? YES YOU DO!).

The AI Front Desk: The insane proliferation of AI tools and toys is only going to increase, and (you can thank me later) I am obviously not going to include every bullsh1t AI business idea I come across in here because, well, I’d have to kill myself, frankly, but it’s interesting to occasionally look at some of the jobs that are soon going to be rendered obsolete by the crushing march of The Machine and the tedious insistence of us meatsacks of demanding things like ‘remuneration for our labour’. Did you have ‘receptionist’ on your ‘oh wow, sucks to be you in the future!’ bingo card? I confess that I didn’t, but this largely-prototypical service which cobbles together a bunch of existing tech into a system that can answer emails, book appointments and even answer the phone and deal with simple queries via voice recognition is…slightly amazing tbh. Again, it’s important to note that RIGHT NOW this isn’t good enough to replace an actual receptionist…but it probably will be quite soon. I keep on having conversations with people where they express disbelief about my view of what this stuff is going to do to low-end white-collar jobs, but it’s quite hard not to play Cassandra when you read things like: “My AI Front Desk is active 24/7, even outside of business hours. Capture calls and appointments anytime. No need to hire additional staff or pay for expensive call center software.”.

NASA Picture of the Year: TBH I think NASA rather undersells its photography – YOU TAKE PHOTOS IN SPACE FFS, THAT IS VERY COOL – which is evidenced in the low-key presentation of this selection of photos from the past year of the agency. BUT! There are some really good ones in here, my particular favourite being this ultra-scifi image from what is apparently a ‘Moog Test Flight’ (no, me neither).

By Marcella Mastrorocco

I AM HAVING SOMETHING OF A WEIRD “I REALLY MISS TAKING DRUGS AND GOING TO CLUBS” MOMENT THIS WEEK, SO TO ‘CELEBRATE’ WHY NOT ENJOY THIS SUPERB CALLBACK TO WHAT I USED TO ENJOY DOING WHEN I WAS YOUNG COURTESY OF THIS EXCELLENT HARD TRANCE MIX BY OBERON FROM 2002?

THE SECTION WHICH WONDERS WHETHER IF WE ALL FORM SOME SORT OF HUMAN SHIELD WE CAN IN FACT PREVENT CORDEN FROM RE-ENTERING THE UK, PT.2:

The Artefact Shop: My friend John makes Artefact Cards, tools designed to help creatives and strategists and people who like to wear slightly-too-short trousers and matelot tshirts and have at least one stick-and-ink tattoo to THINK and IDEATE and come up with ideas. He has a new website where he’s selling this stuff, and, whilst in general I tend to be hugely sniffy about frameworks and processes and things (in the main, because I am a lazy and un-rigorous thinker), I think these are genuinely useful and can help you think ‘better’ (or at the very least, a bit obliquely).
Banknote of the Year 2022: Did you know that there’s an annual contest, organised by the International Banknote Society, to reward the best-designed new banknote introduced by a country’s mint over the previous 12 months? No you DIDN’T, don’t lie! This came to me via Kristoffer’s Naive newsletter (as did a bunch of the cuter/cooler links in this section; you should subscribe if you can handle more things in your inbox), and is GREAT – the winning note this year was from the Philippines and features, amongst other details and somealmost-certainly impressive technical specs, a FABULOUSLY-angry looking bird on one side, but all of the featured notes are pretty cool-looking (and I had no idea that the new Scottish £100 note was such a nice piece of design tbh).
The Breakfast: I think it’s important to be clear from the outset that I think making fun of people for an imperfect command of a second (or third, or whatever) language is a sh1tty thing to do, and that I wouldn’t for a moment judge somebody for their inability to turn a perfect sentence in English when it’s not their mother tongue (I mean, I do have at least a small degree of self-awareness). That said, I feel I ought to confess that I totally lost it when I landed on the homepage of this website and saw the legend there displayed “Would you like to have The Breakfast?”. WOULD I?!?!?! Is it just me, or does ‘The Breakfast’ take on a genuinely sinister air when delivered like this – like the author night be inviting you to break your fast with a nice spread of human flesh, say, or that your coffee and OJ might be accompanied by one of Aleister Crowley’s legendary ‘cakes of light’. It’s not, though, or at least it doesn’t seem to be – instead it’s an app that offers to pair you with a new person every day for breakfast. It’s based out of Lisbon and as such I have no idea how widely its userbase spreads, but if YOU fancy being algorithmically-matched with a stranger to enjoy THE BREAKFAST (literally crying here) with, then why not give this a try? NB – be aware that EVERYONE using this will be a terrifying type-A sociopath who probably runs marathons before breakfast; I am *reasonably* sure that Web Curios readers tend…not to be like that, so caveat emptor my fragile pretties.
A Living Archive of Milton Keynes: Look, I didn’t ask for this; you didn’t ask for this; noone, to the best of my knowledge, has requested a living archive for England’s second-most-mockable urban centre (Swindon will ALWAYS take the crown) – and yet, here such a thing is! Despite my slight snarkiness, though, this is genuinely great – “Conceived as an antidote to the assertion that ‘new towns have no history’, and nurtured by the belief that ‘everybody has a story to tell’, our work collects, preserves and shares the stories of residents’ lives, building a sense of place and using old memories to create new ones and bring communities together.” – and if nothing else I would like any of you with any sort of musical talent whatsoever to navigate immediately to the Milton Keynes Songbook and see what you can do with the gems contained therein.
Small Worlds: As Twitter continues to be ground into dust, small projects like this offer an occasional reminder of what we will lose when Elon finally hubrises the site into oblivion once and for all. “In 2023, I’m creating an illustrated tiny sci-fi story every day”, wrote the account’s owner at the beginning of the year, and they have been true to their word; there’s no fixed format for the shorts, but they tend towards the “You buy a time machine on eBay. It arrives six days ago”-style; each is presented as a vintage book cover with a suitable illustration, and, honestly, this is SUCH a lovely creative exercise and I would read every single one of the books it imagines.
What I See When My Eyes Are Closed: This is over a decade old, but is stil a really interesting project both in execution and conception. ““What I See When My Eyes Are Closed” is an online data visualization project that documents the approximate colors seen by users when their eyes are closed. The data was gathered using Amazon’s Mechanical Turk, a site for crowd-sourced labor. Participants closed their eyes while facing a white screen, they then recorded the color they saw. Their name and location, when provided, are associated to the color.” I’m Una from Serbia, tag yourselves.
Text Art: OH THIS IS SO GOOD! Text Art is a collection of copy-and-pasteable bits of…er…text art! The link takes you to a list of hyperlinked subjects – click one, and you’ll be taken to another page where you can enjoy a variety of text-based art depicting whatever it is you chose, from ‘pancake’ to ‘italian’ and everything inbetween. Even better, you can copy and paste the artworks with ease, meaning that if you want to use this stuff for whatever creative purpose you conceive then it’s simple and easy (and, equally, if you want to spend the rest of the day communicating with people solely via the medium of textual images of broccoli then that’s totally possible too!).
The Collective Noun Database: Everyone knows that crows come in ‘murders’; we’re all familiar with the concept of a ‘pride’ of lions; I’m pretty sure that the collective noun for PR people should be ‘irrelevance’…but there are LOADS more of these, and you can find them all (probably) at this link, which takes you to a Google sheet offering information about the exact word one ought to use when describing a collection of things (both material and non-, abstract and organic), and, honestly, this is AMAZING. Did you know that one ought to refer to a ‘billing’ of consultants? A ‘carbuncle’ of architects? Beautifully and recursively, it also taught me that one ought to refer to a ‘clutch’ of collective nouns. It’s not entirely clear to me the extent to which these are ‘real’ vs ‘wishful’, but, honestly, I don’t care and neither will you – if you like English you will absolutely adore this link.
The Mala Project: This is the website for a Chinese restaurant in (I think) Brooklyn, which I appreciate is of limited interest to the 99.9% of you who don’t live in Manhattan – I am including it because it PERFECTLY nails the aesthetic of 1980s television, and in particular a certain sort of colourtone and…fcukit, sorry, ‘vibe’ that is so redolent of a specific time period that it’s almost like time travel. No idea whatsoever what the food here is like, but the webdesign is fabulous.
The Burp and Fart Piano: On the one hand, there is nothing funny about toilet humour (sorry, I can’t help it; it’s the Italian in me, Italians don’t really ‘do’ fart gags); on the other, this is a keyboard on which you can play Paganini in C entirely as though performed by Barney from the Simpsons and, honestly, you can’t really argue with that. I promise you that if you have a small child this will be simultaneously the best and worst link you will have seen all year.
Taquitos: I know that there are various websites that celebrate THE GLORIOUS INTERNATIONAL WORLD OF SNACKS AND SWEETS (on which point – I know that China, Japan and Taiwan are revered for their sweet and savoury snacking options, but imho Mexico wins hands down; you can get stuff from Mexican cornershops that contain so many chemicals you actually feel like you’re having an out-of-body psychedelic experience, and most of them contain lime juice so you can also avoid scurvy – win/win!), but I think that this might be the best one. “We’ve eaten and reviewed 10,593 snacks over the past 23 years, covering 86 categories from 1924 companies in 90 countries, with more than 157 major brands and 125 flavors” says the blurb, and who am I to argue with that sort of dedication? NO FCUKER, etc! Amusingly, their list of ‘the worst EVER snacks’ contains Pickled Onion Monster Munch at number 5, which to my mind suggests a sophisticated palette but which I concede for some of you might mean that you can’t take anything they say seriously.
Darc Room: Some really nice webdesign on display here – this is the professional portfolio of photographer Darko Pašalić, which lets you explore his work by mood, time of day and colour, and which offers a genuinely interesting and unusual set of ways of exploring his (generally excellent) work and style.
Dwelling: Do YOU want to embark upon a new social media journey? No, of course not, as previously discussed we are old and tired and Coming To The End, and the last thing we (OK, fine, the last thing *I*) want is to start ‘building online communities’ all over again. Still, if you’re feeling a bit more positive about the idea of ‘hanging out with people on the internet’ than I currently am, and if you REALLY want to loook at photos of other people’s houses and flats and yurts, then you could do worse than checking out Dwelling which is basically (as far as I can tell) an app that encourages you to post pictures of your house and interior decor and enjoy those of others whilst secretly hating the fact that their DIY project appears to have gone MUCH better than yours and FFS Tony when will you finish wallpapering the spare room. Sounds AWFUL, to my mind, but I appreciate (and occasionally feel very grateful for the fact that) I am not necessarily representative.
The American Prison Writing Archive: “The United States holds nearly two million people in its prisons and jails — a larger share of its population than in any other nation on earth. Yet there remains widespread ignorance of conditions inside. Amid the unprecedented American experiment in mass incarceration, the American Prison Writing Archive (APWA) hopes to disaggregate this mass into the individual minds, hearts and voices of incarcerated writers.” This is so so so interesting and there is SO much in here – I won’t pretend that all the writing is brilliant, but every piece I have read here has been interesting and emotional and that feels like recommendation enough for you to explore the collection.
Mouthpad: In one of the year’s earlier Curios I featured a prototypical device that was designed to let the user control a computer via the medium of…of…ok, there’s no other way to say it, via the medium of fellating a specially-modified dildo. Now, a few short months later, we have the more socially-acceptable version – Mouthpiece is, from what I can tell, a sort of dental retainer-type bit of tech which can be manipulated with one’s tongue in order to allow hand-and-voice-free typing and computer interfacing. Which has potentially interesting implications for all sorts of people with disabilities, and could be hugely useful to people with debilitating neurological conditions…but also, SPIES! Spies and whistleblowers and journalists oh me oh my! This feels quite fun and exciting, and very much the sort of thing that might have been sold in one of London’s infamous spy emporia back in the day.
Scale of the Universe: This is an OLD site – you will doubtless have seen it before online; you know the one, it lets you zoom in and out and see how BIG stuff is relative to other BIG stuff – but it’s recently been revamped for the modern age and it’s a really good example of how to update a classic internet property in a way that feels coherent but also BETTER.
Iconic Moronic: Long-term readers may be aware that I have something of a problem with the word ‘iconic’, mainly as a result of my time working with the sports team at H+K and wincing each and every time a brief came in and someone would suggest doing some ‘iconic’ photography (GYAC MATE IT IS NOT YOU WHO DECIDES WHETHER A PHOTOGRAPH IS ‘ICONIC’ FFS) (but, er, they were lovely young men really) – anyway, I fcuking hate the word ‘iconic’ and if you do too then you might enjoy this Chrome extension by Monkeon which will replace the word ‘iconic’ with ‘moronic’ at the press of a button.
The Submarine Cable Map of the World: Stuff that genuinely amazes me if I stop to think about it for more than approximately 3 seconds, part x of y – the fact that the internet only works as a result of gigantic physical cables running along the ocean bed at a depth and pressure that would reduce us to pate! This is a map of those cables and where they sit and what they are called, and, I promise you, you cannot help but be amazed at the engineering on display here. Honestly, this is MIND-BUGGERNG.
Spiral Wishing Wells: A HUGE thankyou to reader Elizabeth Huntley, who sent this to me last week – it is SO GOOD! You know those charity donation boxes that you roll 1p and 2p pieces into (insert appropriate local coinage here), and which when you do spiral around and around and around like some sort of incredible kid-hypnosis tool? OF COURSE YOU DO! But did you know that there is a whole website devoted to them, and the man who invented them, and his myriad other inventions? YOU DID NOT! This is so, so, so good – terrible, old-school web design, a degree of sincerity and enthusiasm and, frankly, pride, totally out-of-step with the subject matter, not a little hubris in the general vibe of spiral wishing well inventor Steve Divnick…honestly, this is perfect and surprisingly-interesting, and I promise you that spending 20 minutes looking around this site will be better for you and your state of mind than whatever crap task your paymasters are currently asking you to complete.
Hairy Barbie: Look, I don’t understand why someone is selling what appear to be Barbie dolls with pubic hair trimmings stuck to their faces – but they are, and therefore it is The Law that I share them with you here.
Discord Ghosts: OK, I haven’t personally tried this, but it looks interesting and like it could be a fun thing to play if you and your friends are the D&D/TTRPG-type of crowd. Discord Ghosts is a ruleset for a roleplaying game played over, er, Discord, in which some players play ghosts and some players play ghost hunters, exploring a haunted mansion and trying to discover its secrets. The mechanics suggest and interesting mix of voice and text, as the ghosts scare the hunters and the hunters try and scry the spirits, and it feels like you could have a good time with this with the right group of players.
Cat Park: Finally this week, a game that’s also basically an EDUCATIONAL TOOL, but which is still quite fun and so deserves a look. Cat Park is a gently-educative interactive storygamething in which you explore some of the techniques used by Bad Actors to foment division and conflict online, to peddle false narratives and to deliberately promote lies in pursuit of specific-but-hidden agendas (could never happen here!) – it’s not super-sophisticated, fine, but it’s a nicely-designed and easy-to-understand tool for exploring some of these concepts. Imagine, though, how much more interesting and sophisticated this could be if you combined it with the sort of setup seen in the AI-only social network I linked to right at the top – imagine how fun it would be to seed lies in a community of AI agents to see which took hold, and what the consequences were?

By Melody Tuttle

FINALLY IN THE MIXES THIS WEEK, RECOVER FROM THE LAST TWO WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL, CHILLOUT-Y MIX THAT IS PERFECT FOR A BANK HOLIDAY AFTERNOON – THIS ONE’S BY SOMMERBAD!

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

Manure For Sale: Not a Tumblr! But still, this is great and it’s a single-serving site and so it’s SPIRITUALLY a Tumblr which makes it ok – anyway, this is a celebration of those adverts you see if you drive around the countryside in the UK, advertising the fact that they have fresh animal faeces just waiting for you to take it off their hands. If you’ve ever wanted a detailed breakdown of the different styles of ads for horsesh1t across the UK then WOW are you in for a treat!

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

Thieb: The Insta account of a French graphic artist who is posting a bunch of images and videos of some lovely, cuddly-looking pastel CG robot things (all a bit reminiscent of that big white robot from that kids’ animation a few years back…Baymax! That’s it!) which I found very charming and which I hope you do too.
Violet In Question: Back in the early days of the web there was something of a vogue for anonymous blogs which presented a character or a mystery and which skirted the line between fact and fiction to interesting effect; some, like Diary of a Call Girl and Girl With A One Track Mind ended up being real; others, like She’s A Flight Risk, remained shrouded in mystery. It’s impossible to replicate that era of storytelling online, sadly – the internet works differently, and everyone’s been so trained in infosec these days that anyone attempting to present a veiled and anonymised version of their life, or pass off a creepypasta as a real-life blog, would be outed and doxxed in seconds by the mad mob, but it’s nice to see projects that channel a similar sort of vibe, and this is such a thing. Violet In Question is the Instagram feed of one ‘Violet’, investigating strange goings on in Question Mark, Ohio. This feels like another nascent ARG/transmedia project, the second in as many weeks – hang on, does that mean…transmedia is COMING BACK?!?! Honestly, if anyone fancies paying me an inordinate amount of money to scope out a multilayered narrative-led campaign whose ROI will literally be a fraction of its budget, COUNT ME IN!

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

There Is No AI: To be honest, the title does this a disservice – this is a far more interesting article on the current wave of generative AI, written by sector pioneer (and, honestly, oddest man I have ever met – although tbh he didn’t think much of me either, and I’d probably trust his judgement over mine)) Jaron Lanier, who, yes, does a bit of debunking of some of the current froth and fluff around THE RISE OF THE MACHINES, but, more interestingly, spends the latter half of this (long) essay arguing for a concept of ‘data dignity’ to help address some of the questions of copyright and remuneration and attribution that sit at the heart of much of the technology set to tsunami us in the coming months. It’s very much worth reading the whole thing – Lanier is a really good writer, able to make knotty complex seem comfortable and with a style that gently leads the reader rather than beating them about the head with argument – but the basic premise at the heart of the argument is that we might usefully begin to try and ‘tag’ the elements involved in AI creation (the training data, effectively), and assess outputs based on the extent to which specific training data is evident in them, and then remunerate the creators of the training data proportionately based on the degree to which said data was used in the creation of whatever AI output is produced. Or (and this is why Lanier is a better writer than me, and thinker, and, frankly, person) you could try Jaron’s original copy instead, which may make more sense: “A data-dignity approach would trace the most unique and influential contributors when a big model provides a valuable output. For instance, if you ask a model for “an animated movie of my kids in an oil-painting world of talking cats on an adventure,” then certain key oil painters, cat portraitists, voice actors, and writers—or their estates—might be calculated to have been uniquely essential to the creation of the new masterpiece. They would be acknowledged and motivated. They might even get paid.” While the world continues to flail around the edges of how to regulate this stuff, this is a smart set of principles which might guide our thinking.

How I Feel About AI: Not how *I* feel, to be clear – Christ knows you’ve probably had more than enough of that over the past few months – but instead what some bloke called Mac Wright thinks about it. This piece appealed to me because it feels like someone having a conversation with themselves, and because it does an excellent job of capturing the general ambivalence I currently feel when I consider What This All Means, and because it touches on some interesting policy considerations (outside of UBI) which might arise as governments have to potentially consider the impact of these changes on a workforce who no longer have jobs for the skills they possess, but who don’t yet have the skills for the jobs that will come.

On Language Models and Writing: This is LONG and quite academic, and you’ll need to think a bit and pay attention (he said, tediously didactically – ffs Matt you are not some sort of be-mortarboarded headmaster), but it’s also really interesting and smart. It was sent to me on Twitter by its author Helen Beecham, and it’s all about the the connection between writing and language and ‘thinking’ (whatever *that* means), and how exactly the current iterations of The Machine fit into our current (increasingly-inadequate, to my mind) conceptions of all three. Honestly, this is really smart and made me think quite a lot – it covers Foucault and theory of language and theory of mind, and questions about ’what it is we are teaching when we are teaching’, and in general this made me feel less stupid when I finished than when I started, which is pretty much the highest compliment I can pay to a piece like this.

A Guide To Prompting: Ordinarily I wouldn’t include something with such a nakedly-clickbaity title, but this is by Ethan Mollick and therefore is 100% worth reading (a quick aside – one of the reasons I love Ethan’s writing and work is its generosity; the things he shares are genuinely useful and practically helpful, and he does it because he is interested and curious and he wants to be part of a conversation about using these tools better and smarter; which is why he doesn’t post them as fcuking threads on fcuking Twitter, or as emoji-laden broetry on LinkedIn. Noone – and I honestly mean this – has EVER posted anything useful in a multi-tweet, heavily spaced, emoji-packed thread. Noone who has ever written anything with line-breaks on LinkedIn is worth listening to about anything. THIS IS 100% WEB CURIOS FACT. If people do this, they are grifting cnuts and, in all likelihood, really quite stupid). Whilst acknowledging that ‘prompt engineering’ is unlikely to be an actual real-life thing for that long, Mollick explains some useful techniques to make LLMs do what you want them to – read this and learn it, it is useful.

Britain’s Deep Hole: As another week in Glorious Free Britain comes to a close, another week of strikes and poverty and Governmental incompetence and practically-Tory-consenses across the party spectrum (I heard something this week about Keith and post-GE Labour policy that will BOIL YOUR P1SS, but sadly I can’t tell you as someone would literally kill me if I told you, sorry), and another week in which someone’s trying to peddle the idea that the real problem we have is THE NEW WOKE LIBERAL ELITE that’s secretly in charge of everything (I imagine this to be like The Illuminati, but where everyone’s in shapeless knits), why not enjoy some masochism/schadenfreude (delete depending on whether you’re inside or outside Suella’s Small Boats Exclusion Perimeter!)! This is German broadsheet Spiegel with a damning picture of Wot It Is Like On Brexit Island in 2023 – honestly, it really is worth reading in full to get an impression of just what all this looks like from the outside. I think my ‘favourite’ part of the whole piece is the general tone of ‘seriously guys, HOW have you managed to fcuk this so hard?!’ that journalist Jorg Schindler manages to inject throughout – this is…well, it’s just depressing tbh.

How China Will Regulate AI: Say what you like about China – no, really, you say what you like, I am FAR too scared – but they seem to know ‘an instance of potentially disruptive and destructive technology that needs regulating STAT’ when they see one – this is a series of opinions on the implications of China’s recent new legislation around the development of AI technologies, and the extent to which the proposed regulation is fit for purpose. “As drafted, the Measures for the Management of Generative Artificial Intelligence Serviceswould make companies providing generative AI services to the public responsible for the outputs of their systems and would require that data used to train their algorithms meet strict requirements. DigiChina asked several specialists to consider what this draft means for the future of China’s AI market, how feasible it might be for companies to provide compelling services while complying, and what this regulation adds to an already active Chinese regulatory space on AI.” If you have any interest in the how and why and when of how we might consider at least attempting to control and manage the proliferation and development of this tech, this is reasonably-essential reading.

Future Music: This is probably the best thing I’ve read about AI music so far. Jay Springett writes about how he felt on hearing an AI-created Ariana Grande cover of The Weeknd’s ‘Blinded by the Lights’, and it captures beautifully, wonderfully, what is interesting and NEW and vaguely-exciting about this, while at the same time managing to contrast it with all that is horrid and creepy and plastic about all the ways in which the tech is going to be used. Briefly (but really, do read the whole essay, it really is excellent), the ‘interesting’ in AI music comes at the points where the oddity of computer-generated sounds are left raw, and the strangeness and glitchiness of the bits where the machine doesn’t quite ‘get’ it – it’s this that feels new and creatively-fertile rather than the ability to puppeteer the voice of anyone in history into singing Straight Outta Compton.

They Did It For The Clicks: This is on the one hand a (pretty excoriating) review of the new book ‘Traffic’ by former editor of Buzzfeed News Ben Smith; on the other, it works as a decent overview of both The Buzzfeed and The Gawker eras, how they started and what became of them, and all the ways in which they changed (ruined? YOU DECIDE!) media. It becomes lots more enjoyable to read, though, if you lean into the fact that the author – Aaron Timms – *really* doesn’t think much of Smith or his writing, or indeed many of the decisions he made throughout his career; yes, fine, this is a *bit* inside-media-baseball, but sometimes that’s ok.

The Plagiarism Scandal Rocking PoetryTok: Or, perhaps more accurately, “How it is now entirely possible to get away with creating an whole creative persona online through thieved content because attribution and search is so broken”. I wasn’t aware of genuinely-terrible-sounding ‘poet’ Aliza Grace (I tapped out of social media poetry when Rupi Kaur became a thing because, honestly, no), but apparently she’s 19 years old and super-popular on TikTok and literally all of her ‘poetry’ is lifted from other people; obscure song lyrics, actual poems, vaguely-blank-verse-sounding Insta captions…this is quite amazing, not least the fact that whoever is behind the account (I am not 100% certain it really is a 19 year old woman, based on the reporting here) is apparently just styling it out and blocking anyone who calls them out on the ‘stealing’ thing. I find this super-interesting, in part because this sort of thing will only become easier – combine AI-generated content with an increasingly-fragmented web where communities can exist entirely independently without ever overlapping, with a digital environment in which ‘search’ as a concept is forever ruined, and what I’m trying to say is that we are going to see much, much more of this sort of stuff over the next couple of years imho.

ChatGPT Is Taking Jobs In Kenya: Specifically, the jobs of the people who have over the past few years carved out a lucrative income stream writing essays on demand for lazy students in the richer countries, who are now unsurprisingly choosing to entrust their academic future to the inscrutable-but-crucially-practically-free ChatGPT. I appreciate that one might argue that this is a market that oughtn’t exist and which oughtn’t be mourned – but, well, fcuk that, frankly. I know I keep banging on about this – and I will stop soon, I promise – but it’s worth remembering that in the Philippines (for example) an estimated ~20-30% of people make a living (either in whole or part) from doing digital piecework for customers in the West – low-level digital design, copywriting, data-cleaning, etc. That is…a LOT of jobs that basically don’t exist anymore. Just because it might not be coming for your gig doesn’t mean that it’s not going to change the world for an awful lot of other people.

Cobalt In The Congo: OH GOD IT’S ALL GONE DARK AGAIN I AM SORRY. Ahem. Look, this isn’t a very cheery read either, but I think it’s increasingly important to focus on the broader idea that, put simply, ‘it is simply not possible to magically de-carbonise our way of life and to continue behaving exactly as we are now but in a way in which is magically ‘green’ and which won’t in fact fcuk the planet every which way from Sunday’. This piece looks at cobalt mining in DRC, an industry which is almost entirely owned by China these days (statement of fact rather than qualitative judgement) and which is basically a brutal clusterfcuk of appalling labour practices and environmental despoilment. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE FOR US TO HAVE ALL THIS STUFF AND AT THE SAME TIME NOT KILL THE PLANET (or at least the version of it that allows us to ‘enjoy’ it).

The Class Politics of Instagram Face: This is a couple of months old, but I thought it a great read and something which explores the current homogeneity of facial aesthetic amongst (some) women worldwide in a way I hadn’t yet seen. I appreciate that this might be a topic that’s been covered extensively in the fashion and beauty press but, well, I last bought new clothes in 2019 and so I wouldn’t know.

Magnus in the Endgame: The World Chess CHampionships are currently taking place, but Magnus Carlsen, the longstanding best player in the world and quite possibly the greatest chess player in human history, isn’t participating, because he’s bored of the whole thing and would rather play poker instead. This is a really interesting piece, not only on Carlsen (who to be honest is only really a cipher throughout) but also on the wider world of modern chess – if you’ve read any of the recent breathless pieces about how THE KIDS ARE ALL INTO CHESS THESE DAYS (there have been at least six in the past week, which in itself is a pretty depressing indictment of How Modern Journalism Works’) then this is a decent companion. As an aside, can you imagine what it must be like to have effectively ‘completed’ something as complex as chess by the time you’re not even vaguely middle-aged? I certainly fcuking can’t.

The Perfect Scrotum: Nearly 5 months into 2023 and I think we’ve already run out of ‘articles about extreme grooming practices’ that the lifestyle magazines can commission. We’ve had designer vaginas and phalloplasties, leg extensions and the next iteration of the BBL – now, in what I have to hope is the last of the current glut of these pieces, we have someone writing in Wired about the boom in ‘manscaping’ and testicular grooming products being foisted upon guys to help ensure that their ballsacks smell pine-fresh (other scents are, I believe, available) at all times. This is readable, and quite fun, and pleasantly-silly, but also it’s a bit depressing tbh – I suppose there’s a degree of (miserable) gender equality in the fact that men are now being subjected to exactly the same sort of lies as women when it comes to FMCG brands attempting to sell us new unguents, but, look, NOONE’S GENITALIA IS MEANT TO SMELL OF BUBBLEGUM FFS AND IF YOUR PARTNER DEMANDS THAT YOU ENSURE THAT YOUR JUNK SMELLS OF SWEETIES THEN I THINK YOU SHOULD PROBABLY DO SOME DEEPER INVESTIGATIONS AS TO WHY THE FCUK THAT MIGHT BE AND EXACTLY WHAT THEIR PROBLEM IS.

Open Questions: Well THIS is a lot. Gwern is someone I think I’ve featured here before – he is a PROLIFIC author and Wikipedian, and someone whose writing you might have come across elsewhere in the past. This is a post in which he’s listed, in no particular order that I can discern, a bunch of questions he has about THINGS – I promise you that nothing can prepare you for the insane variety of topics and lines of enquiry you will find here, and how interesting some of the mental rabbitholes you will be sent down are. This covers everything from physics to furries and everything inbetween and, I promise, is one of the most creatively-fertile things I’ve read in ages – almost every entry here sparks an idea or additional question of some sort, which makes it a genuine joy to peruse (there are also several points where you very obviously come up against the edges of one particular person’s very particular personality – Gwern is (and I don’t know them, but I don’t imagine they’d mind me saying this) very much a nerd, and much of this is very much filtered through that worldview, but it’s no worse for it (although I did very much enjoy his assertion that ‘the short story is dead’ – er, mate, you might want to expand your purview somewhat).

Just A Typical British Man: I might have missed this going massively viral somewhere, but to the best of my knowledge this piece in McSweeney’s hasn’t received anywhere near the traction in the UK that it ought to have done. IT IS GENIUS. Here’s the first paragraph – now fcuk off and read the rest: “I’m just a typical British man having a pint in a traditional cockney pub on my way to work in the morning. A London Taxi is having a fight with a red phone box at one end of the bar. Through the window, I can see Big Ben, St Pauls, Nelson’s Column, Stonehenge, the White Cliffs of Dover, and Gordon Ramsey.”

Unicorn Kingdom: A poem by Rishi Dastidar, on the occasion of Rishi’s glorious speech announcing the UK’s latest attempt to convince the world’s technology mavens that no, really, WE *ARE* THE FUTURE! As with all Rishi’s verse, this is both technically excellent and very funny – his new book is out this week, by the way, should you wish to support the arts in a meaningful way by consuming some genuinely-excellent modern UK poetry.

Desert Hours: I absolutely loved this piece in the LRB, written by Jane Miller and all about being old – Miller doesn’t mention her exact age in the piece, but I think she’s in her 90s, and I don’t think I’ve ever read something so clear-eyed and unsentimental and honest-feeling about the experience of being Of Great Age. This doesn’t make me want to live into my 90s, but it made me want to read everything else that Miller has written, and hopefully continues to write, about the experience of so doing.

The Northern Boys: Finally this week, a piece that combines excellent writing with two of my favourite contemporary cultural Curios – old man hiphop act The Northern Boys (see Curios passim) and outsider/insider at blog The White Pube. Gabrielle De La Pente writes about What It Is Like Being Alive Now, and how the Northern Boys’ beats and rhymes – simultaneously honest and artificial, the soundtrack to the saddest big night out you’ve ever had – are the perfect soundtrack to This Fcuking World We Live In, and, at its heart, what we need art to do to reflect our experience of the times. “It just gets to a point where I can’t be doing with art, in any form, that still has the energy to dress up nicely and give us a clever little metaphor. I’m too tired. I only want art that stares at the sun for a stupid amount of time — or at itself in a bathroom mirror, smashed and existential. I want art that admits there’s a badness growing over us plebs like the mould in the beige houses we rent from jobless kings and queens. I want to read books and watch films and listen to songs that are like massive red stop signs. Air raid sirens. A slap in the face. A cold shower. So much culture talks around the weirdness of life, going around and around, and only brushing past the topic so as not to alienate anybody, and so as not to embarrass the creator for really going there. I am just finding the flowery shit is what feels off-putting lately, because I’m already off-put. After 2 years of Long Covid, I got Covid again and I’m back to spending most days rotting in bed. Is this it for me now? Post-viral illness with eternal possibility for re-infection. On one of those bed days, I got a call that someone I love has died. Tell me why the funeral is scheduled for four weeks after the fact; tell me why the local paper wants three figures to put in a funeral notice. I’m working on two texts right now, this review and the eulogy. So, black comedy it is.” Superb – please read.

By Matt Bollinger

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

I love me a good skate video, and this is A Good Skate Video – enjoy the flips and the grinds and the ollies and the fakies and the falls and the scrapes and the general, good natured horseplay of Worble and Cobra Man’s “Worble World”.

This is the new single from UK band Cornershop, who became briefly famous thanks to Norman Cook’s remix of ‘Brimful of Asha’ but who, prior to that, were a very small footnote in the UK indie scene and who basically returned to being exactly that after everyone got sick of big beat (I once, coincidentally, spent an afternoon in the pub with Tjinder Singh – Cornershop’s frontman – who was lovely but also so incredibly, stereotypically grumpy about everything and especially the fact that Cook had basically done better out of the remix than him) – it is, as far as I can tell, a reworking of an old track from the 80s, but, regardless, it’s a proper toe-tapper.

Let’s briefly check in on the ‘NFT PFPs as musical artists’ thing! This is a project by Sean Bonner and DJ Muggs which is using one of Bonner’s cryptopunks as the ‘frontperson’ for a musical endeavour called ‘Atari Lofi Punks’ – the output here is…a fairly-underwhelming lofi beatscape, if I’m honest, but I am curious about whether a lot of the (admittedly very creative) people who bought up some of the early PFP NFTs can find anything interesting and worthwhile to do with them. On this evidence, I remain unconvinced – although I don’t mind the video.

This is a fun track – if I’m being critical it does sound a *bit* like it’s been frankensteined together from every single audio trope of the past year or so, but it’s a decent tune and I like the production, and it’s eminently hummable; it’s by Dizzy and it’s called ‘Open Up Wide’.

When I was a kid I used to really upset my housemates by putting slightly obnoxious pop-punk on the stereo REALLY LOUD after I showered – it was largely stuff off the Fat Wreck label, and sounded remarkably similar in style to this new track by the Bollweevils which took me RIGHT back and which is called ‘Predisposition’.

Our last music video of the week comes in the form of this cracking song by King Isis – it’s called ‘i’m fine thx 4 asking’ (lowercase theirs), and there’s something…pleasingly…chewy about the sound to this that I’m very much enjoying and which makes me want to open all the windows and turn it up to 11, which I might well do as soon as it stops fcuking raining for two minutes. I LOVE YOU TAKE CARE BYE I AM FCUKING OFF NOW BYE!

Webcurios 21/04/23

April 21, 2023

admin

Uncategorized No Comments

Opening
Misc 1
Misc 2
Tumblr
Long Reads
Video

Reading Time: 32 minutes

Happy Friday everyone! Unless you worked for Buzzfeed News, in which case it’s probably quite a rubbish Friday – sorry about that.

(Brief aside about Buzzfeed News – reading Peretti’s statement from yesterday in which he said that he didn’t think it was possible to make a business from journalism anymore – maybe, Jonah, just maybe, the issue isn’t that journalism can’t be made to work as a business – perhaps it’s just that it’s impossible to make it work as a business WHILE AT THE SAME TIME ATTEMPTING TO FEED THE HORRIFYING VC VAMPIRES? Just a thought that perhaps the problem here isn’t so much ‘journalism’ as ‘the horrible ratfcuking greed of every cnut involved in financing any and all vaguely-tech-adjacent businesses in the past decade or so’?)

This week’s newsletter is typically replete with goodness, so much so that I advise you handle it carefully lest it burst all over you like some sort of overfilled knowledge-abscess (a simile both disgusting and nonsensical, well done Matt!) – and no, sorry, the prose doesn’t really rise above that sort of level I’m afraid.

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and if any of you are doing the marathon this weekend then good luck you lunatics but I th.

Photographer Unknown

REJOICE FOR SADEAGLE HAS RETURNED WITH ANOTHER GENUINELY SUPERB MIX OF OBSCURE-YET-REMARKABLY-TUNEFUL GEMS FROM HIS TERRIFYINGLY LARGE RECORD COLLECTION – THIS IS NEARLY THREE HOURS OF FCUKING GREAT MUSIC, SO BE GRATEFUL!

THE SECTION WHICH APOLOGISES AGAIN FOR THE AI STUFF AT THE BEGINNING BUT WHICH PROMISES THAT ONCE YOU GET THROUGH ALL THAT RUBBISH THIS IS A REALLY GOOD EDITION, HONEST, PT.1:

Dr Gupta: I’m always fascinated by people who somehow manage to become hate figures not once but multiple times – those who seem to not only attract public opprobrium but who actively court it, who would rather see out their time on earth in the company of an excited and enthusiastic hatemob rather than then have their passing go unnoticed. Which is why I was so tickled by this new company – Dr Gupta (that’s Dr GuPTa, DO YOU SEE?!?!?!) is, I think, the first of the inevitable tsunami of AI-enabled ‘disruptors’ to attempt to insert itself into the consumer medical space by replacing doctors with AI…and you’ll never guess who’s behind it! Go on, take a moment to have a think – which 21stC hatefigure has previous with the medical industry and is exactly the sort of miserable, grifty little sh1tweasel to jump on this bandwagon with minimal care as to exactly what the potential side-effects of offering chatbot-based medical advice to morons? Did you get it? It’s Martin Shkreli! Yes, amazing-but-true – the West’s most punchable man (oh, ok, but definitely top 20) is back to SAVE MEDICINE with, er, a $20 a month subscription service that lets you ask what I presume is a custom-trained GPT medical questions and receive infinite medical ‘advice’ on demand. Would YOU trust your health to a black box system peddled to you by a man with Shkreli’s history? If the answer is ‘yes’, then, well, I hope Dr Gupta takes good care of you. Amusingly, Shkreli is apparently thinking of offering this as an enterprise product, meaning you can look forward to a host of ‘doctors’ offering ‘advice’ and ‘diagnoses’ based on this sort of crap – a future in which we have a new divide in healthcare provision, between those who can afford to get actual, proper medical counsel those who instead have to trust in a digital equivalent of Dr Nick Riviera to patch them up.

AR Mind Maps: This is only a proof-of-concept, but it’s quite a fun and exciting one; this video demonstrates a prototypical example of mind mapping software, with added AI support, in augmented reality – you sort of have to watch the footage to get the idea, but imagine that you can create a Minority Report-style movable map of interrelated ideas and concepts which would float in front of your eyes like some sort of really intellectually-dense hallucination, and that it’s all pulled together in no time by natural language processing that gathers associated terms and concepts based on your direction. Well, it’s like that.

The Nerds Are Trying To Make Google Glass Again: Another quick prototype video from Twitter, this amused me because a) it’s quite impressive, in a janky sort of way; b) this is literally what people were getting Google Glass to do (admittedly less well) a decade ago. Someone’s hacked together “a personal AI agent delivered directly through AR smart glasses”, which effectively means a system which uses facial recognition to identify whoever’s in your field of vision, and then based on that information pulls up information from your recent interactions (texts, WhatsApps, heartfelt LinkedIn endorsements, that sort of thing) to use as conversational prompts. Which, obviously, is hilariously awkward (even moreso than the really quite astonishingly wooden interaction in the video might suggest), but the imminent explosion of custom-built and custom-trained LLMs means that we can expect a lot more of this sort of hacking together of AI systems for this sort of thing – except much, much weirder (off the top of my head here, but for example it would be entirely possible to create a version of this sort of thing which uses the HUD to feed you lines scripted by a specially-trained LLM – which, actually, makes me think of some interesting use cases for interactive drama and immersive theatrical stuff).

Getting GPT To Do Everything For You: I promise we’re almost done with the ‘videos of AI stuff pulled from Twitter’ bit – but this one’s pretty impressive too. Remember the AutoGPT stuff from last week, where people are getting GPT to set goals and then take steps to realise them? Well this is that, basically – GPT as a practical assistant, which can (for example) find and book a restaurant for you based on loose instructions. Obviously this is slow and a bit janky, but it’s quite obviously The Future – equally, wow are there going to be some interesting times while this sort of thing gets embedded and isn’t quite working correctly. BONUS CONTENT: this is a similar demonstration in which someone gets the AI to do some research and then quickly spin up a webpage displaying the answers; not hugely compelling on its own, fine, but worth watching as it’s a useful indication of exactly how much terrible, terrible content and awful websites we’re going to be subjected to in the coming year or so.

Red Pajama: AND SO IT BEGINS! Well, ok, fine, it began a month or so ago when Meta’s Llama LLM was leaked, but this week felt like the moment when the open source AI thing really picked up. Red Pajama is “an effort to produce a reproducible, fully-open, leading language model. RedPajama is a collaboration between Together, Ontocord.ai, ETH DS3Lab, Stanford CRFM, Hazy Research, and MILA Québec AI Institute. RedPajama has three key components: Pre-training data, which needs to be both high quality and have broad coverage; Base models, which are trained at scale on this data; and Instruction tuning data and models, which improve the base model to make it usable and safe”. This is the training data, which anyone is now able to download and use as they see fit – OK, fine, this is all technical and boring and is unlikely to mean anything to you unless you’re in the market to make your own LLM, but it’s also worth being aware of because this is the point at which you have to accept that not only is this stuff going to be potentially EVERYWHERE, it’s also going to be…weirdly unknowable, insofar as we’re not necessarily going to have any idea of WHAT exactly any given AI we’re interacting with has been trained on, or with what sort of weighting. I appreciate that I am a tedious Cassandra about this sort of thing, but it strikes me that perhaps we ought to be a touch more concerned about this additional nail in the coffin of what we used to like to call ‘the vague concept of objective truth’. BONUS OPEN SOURCE AI MODEL: here’s another, parallel open source LLM being developed elsewhere, which you can help to train if you’d like to take a personal hand in creating the circumstances of your own obsolescence.

Debate Devil: This is a fun toy – pick a position and have an ARGUMENT with a machine! This is exactly the sort of thing I imagine would be really useful if you were a member of an amateur debating club (or, er, a really poor-quality barrister, probably), but, presuming that applies to literally none of you, you could instead use it to practice arguing for that payrise or that holiday to the Maldives or that divorce. More seriously (lol I am always serious) this isn’t a terrible tool to test hypotheses and reasoning – based on my (admittedly limited) fiddling with it, it does a reasonable job of teasing out the obvious holes in a given position (but, also, I am a terrible and lazy arguer and so your mileage, as ever, may vary).

Beauty Dig-Tionary: I don’t, as a rule, spend a lot of time looking at skincare websites, but this one rather grabbed me – I think it’s a Korean brand, but that’s not really important. What IS important is for you to click the link, click the hamburger menu, select ‘Look Search’ and then pick from the selection of doe-eyed, high-cheekboned young men and enjoy the frankly mental interface through which you can examine their largely-poreless faces from what seems like every possible angle. What they’ve done here is attempted to give you the same sort of 360-degree camera movement you’d expect from a CG model but instead using photos – so they’ve taken about 100-odd pictures of each model’s head and face, and you can move the camera around in jerky, stop-motion fashion, and it basically feels like you’re directing your own (admittedly slightly-staid) version of ‘Sledgehammer’. This pleased me immoderately, and in general I would like to see far, far more examples of this sort of labour-intensive and massively-inefficient UI design.

E-Pals: This feels…a bit icky, tbh. “E-Pal”, so the site’s blurb promises, “is a social platform for gamers to make friends worldwide through playing video games…The E-Pal community has two roles: ePals and Gamers. ePal is a group of passionate gamers who enjoy providing companionship to others. They are reviewed by the platform, they share about themselves, and they provide both free and paid companionship services to everyone. Gamers can choose to play with an ePal, or sign up as one to help others too.” So the idea is that it’s a service that lets you effectively hire people to play videogames with – which, given the fact that nearly all online titles these days have sophisticated and well-designed matchmaking services to pair solo players with potential teammates and opponents, might strike you as a bit unnecessary. Until you go and actually have a look at the people that are advertising their services as ‘Gamers’ waiting to be hired as in-game companions and you realise that they’re all basically Belle Delphine analogues and that this is basically some sort of slightly-shady-feeling pseudo-escorting gig (there are, to be fair, a few guys on there too, but, well, you click the link and tell me it doesn’t feel a touch like a contacts mag for the sort of people who wear those Matrix-style trenchcoats).

Find Your Fest: Are you all excited for FESTIVAL SEASON? I was made to feel INCREDIBLY FCUKING OLD the other day when I discovered that my mate’s daughter is playing Glastonbury (WHERE’S MY GUESTLIST FFS?), but at the same time I can’t pretend that I ever want to ‘enjoy’ the feeling of 7am sun beating through canvas as my drugswollen tongue swells to fill the tent ever again (yes, I appreciate that there are other ways in which to ‘do’ music festivals but, equally, I know myself by now) – if you are younger and more energetic than me, though, you might be wondering whether there are any decent festivals coming up at which you might stand a chance of getting a ticket. Well WONDER NO MORE thanks to this rather useful site, which has a frankly terrifyingly comprehensive database of festivals worldwide and which bands are playing where, along with accompanying playlists and practical details and everything you could possibly need to ensure that your trip to (for example) a psytrance festival in the mountains of Bulgaria goes smoothly (seriously, this sounds amazing, does anyone want to come with me?).

Crab Fragment Labs: This is SUCH a cool initiative/company – Crab Fragment Labs is ‘the creative outlet for James Ernest’, who is an INCREDIBLY prolific games designer and whose work is collected on this site. There are, as far as I can tell, HUNDREDS of games you can access here – boardgames, card games, TTRPG-type games – and loads of the rulesets and templates for them are available to read and download for free, and, basically, if you’re the sort of person into tabletop gaming or card games then this is basically heaven for you.

The Food Disgust Test: It seems strangely apt that the week that saw the end of Buzzfeed News (RIP, but also HOW MUCH VC MONEY DID YOU BURN THROUGH PERETTI?!?!?) should see a very old-school ‘answer a bunch of questions and we’ll tell you who you are!’ quiz go moderately-viral online – this purports to tell you exactly what your specific food icks are, and how ‘disgusted’ you are by various factors when it comes to food and drink, and while it loses marks for the fact that it’s pretty dry in style and presentation it gains them for the fact that it will absolutely give you a solid 30 minutes of office/domestic chat as you all debate whether bananas or fish guts are more disgsting (it is bananas every time).

The 24h Homepage: Every generation gets their own version of the Million Dollar Homepage, so it seems – this is the latest iteration of Tewy’s methuselan idea, the gimmick here being that there is a new website link posted on the site each second, and anyone can claim one of those seconds for themselves. Submit a link and an accompanying image, select the time you want and YOU can own a specific time of the day, down to the second. Except anyone can bump you from your slot – UNLESS of course you pay a fee to lock down your position. Links are currently retailing at $9.90, with the price going up by $0.01 for each one purchased – I admire the chutzpah of the kid behind this, but I sadly feel that the moment for making bank from this sort of thing has sadly past (but, er, if you’re the person who made this and if you DO in fact end up becoming insanely rich as a result, fancy chucking me some pity cash? No? Fair enough).

Offal: This might be my favourite thing of the year so far – no joke, this is genuinely SUPERB. I got emailed by Mark Blacklock, its creator, who writes “OFFAL is the world’s first AI-voiced radio show, mixing a wildly eclectic soundtrack with spoken-word vignettes by cutting-edge fiction writers. Fragments of comedy, short plays and fiction presented by a troupe of synthetic voice actors merge seamlessly with acid house, jazz, hip hop and the outer limits of ambient and experimental, along with surreal interjections, fake advertising spots and brief psychedelic guided meditations. Rather than attempting to merely replace human actors and voices, OFFAL explores the artistic effects and possibilities created when pushing the limits of corporate text-to-voice tools never designed to be used for these purposes.” This is…honestly, this is wonderful – surreal, funny, dark, intriguing, confusing, liminal (yes, I know, and I am sorry, and ordinarily I wouldn’t, but it sort-of fits, I promise), and the closest thing to Chris Morris’ Blue Jam that I think I have ever heard. I can’t stress enough that you NEED to listen to this – there are three episodes at present, two available via the website and one only via WhatsApp, and I NEED MORE so pull your finger out please Max. This deserves to be famous and win awards and stuff, and whilst I’m conscious that putting it in a newsletter read by seven people who work in marketing is unlikely to make that happen, I hope that maybe one of you could shove it under the nose of someone influential and important because this is ART.

By Domenico Gnoli

NEXT UP, ENJOY THE RECENT 100 GECS BOILER ROOM SET, LISTENING TO WHICH FEELS A BIT LIKE THE AURAL EQUIVALENT OF STUFFING ALL YOUR ORIFICES WITH SHERBET AND THEN GETTING INTO THE BATH, BUT IN A GOOD WAY!

THE SECTION WHICH APOLOGISES AGAIN FOR THE AI STUFF AT THE BEGINNING BUT WHICH PROMISES THAT ONCE YOU GET THROUGH ALL THAT RUBBISH THIS IS A REALLY GOOD EDITION, HONEST, PT.2:

The Coronation Toolkit: Are you excited? Have you greased your elbow in preparation for all the forlock-tugging? For those of you outside the UK who might be bemused as to what the fcuk I am talking about – WE ARE GOING TO DO A CORONATION! Yes, in just a few short weeks the UK will pretend that it’s a perfectly normal and natural thing to celebrate the illusory hereditary superiority of the latest in a long line of largely-mediocre inbreds whilst all the while ignoring the fact that half the country is cold and hungry and increasingly mad. PAGEANTRY! CEREMONY! HERITAGE! SERVILITY! Anyway, in preparation for that WONDERFUL WEEKEND OF JOY the Palace has released the Official Coronation Toolkit and, honestly, it’s just so miserable. Go on, click the link – some slightly crap ‘print and colour at home’ kids’ games! Five terrible-sounding recipes! PRINT YOUR OWN BUNTING! To be honest this is SO crap it feels like satire, but the url is the official one and this is legit and OH WHENCE THE DAYS OF EMPIRE. Lol, we are *such* a joke of a country, aren’t we? Although on the unofficial memorabilia side of things, I do rather like these.
Companion: I like to think that in 2023 everyone carries around their own personal mental version of the Doomsday Clock that tracks exactly how close they feel everything is to Total Collapse – if your Apocalyptic Countdown Ticker is moving somewhat faster than you find comfortable, you might be in the market for “Companion”, a USB stick for sale for the low, low price of $10 (in fairness to the people shilling this, they also offer refunds) which its makers assure you is packed with ALL THE DOCUMENTS you will need to survive a ‘SHTF Event’ (this is their terminology – I am presuming that that stands for ‘sh1t hits the fan’, but have limited interest in being targeted forever by mad prepper advertising and as such you’ll have to accept my uncertainty in this regard). Obviously it’s on a USB because the internet may have gone down and so you’ll need offline resources – I imagine that if you’re the sort of person who feels the need to buy this sort of thing you’re also the sort of person with a backup generator to power a laptop, otherwise, well, lol! – and the website promises that with all this information to hand you’ll be safe in the event of “natural disaster, economic collapse, or societal breakdown”, which is nice. Now, I’m not suggesting for a second that this is a good or ethical idea, but, well, given they’re selling this for only a tenner, I reckon there’s probably a semi-lucrative grift in buying the content, scraping it all and feeding it to an LLM to create ‘PREPBOT: YOUR APOCALYPSE COMPANION!’ which you can then sell as a subscription service to morons. Obviously, though, that would be a deeply unethical thing to do and Web Curios in no way condones it (but would appreciate a 10% cut of any profits should any of you be appalling enough people to follow through with the idea).
Space Elevator: Prolific creator of viral toys Neal Agarwal returns with this page, which does the whole ‘scroll and explore something really, really deep/tall/long’ thing – as you scroll, the page takes you up through the various atmospheric stages between the floor and space. The mechanic here isn’t new, and you’ve seen this done a dozen times before, but this is elevated by the care and attention to detail – this is information-rich, and full of gently-amusing gags, and the graphics and design are much better than they need to be, and in general this is both a nice, fun bit of lightweight webwork and a good example of how polish can elevate a concept, even one as broadly unoriginal as this.
Buy ALL The Classic Cars: Or at least, bid on all the classic cars – whether or not you’ll be able to buy them will depend rather on the depth of your pockets. Still, there are 230 vehicles being auctioned as part of this lot on May 19th, so if you’re in the market for a vintage sportscar then you could do worse than take a look here – although judging by the blurb, these could be in need of a bit of TLC before you’re able to don your driving gloves and go Full Partridge in a bank holiday traffic jam. Still, there’s something lovely (and, to be clear, VERY mad) about the fact that this was all one person’s lifelong passion – “The collection was stored in a church and two dry but dusty warehouses. Mr. Palmen was starting the cars on a regular basis to keep the engines from being seized. Most of the collection is in an unrestored and original condition. He kept the cars how they were when entering his warehouses and he almost did not sell anything after it was added to his collection. He rarely showed the collection to anyone, so very few people knew of its existence. The maintenance was mostly done by himself. You can definitely call it one of the best kept secret car collections of Europe. Mr. Palmen loved Italian cars like Alfa Romeo, Lancia, Maserati and Ferrari. Plus, French Facel Vega’s and German BMW’s, Mercedes, and NSU’s. The British are well represented with Jaguars, Aston Martins, and Rolls-Royces, while American classics include Chevrolets, Cadillacs, and Fords. The collection also features Tatra, Monica, Moretti, Matra, Alvis, Imperia, and Villard.”
Sounds Like These: Oh God I love this website. Click the link and make sure your sound is on – Sounds Like These is a company that does sounds for brands – they call themselves a ‘creative audio company’ – and their website is one of the very, very few that makes it worth turning the volume up for. This is SO SO SO SATISFYING, from the sound splashes on the homepage to the way it plays (pun unintended, but I will take it) across all the other sections – really, this is such smart and pleasing digital design and I am slightly in awe of it.
Fireman: I rather like tools and sites that enforce constraints on the user, and Fireman is no exception – a Chrome extension which lets you save links to read later, much like any other bookmarking service, but which asks you to specify a time limit when you save a link; once the time limit’s passed, the link is no longer available to you, and can’t ever be resaved in the app. As someone who has a weird problem where I have started to vaguely anthropomorphise the open tabs in my browser, to the point where I am beginning to actually feel *guilty* if I close them without having read them after a few days, I feel that this could help solve what I worry is a burgeoning psychological issue.
Random Airports: Would you like to be taken to a different random airport in the world every time you click? No, probably not, and yet that’s what this website is offering and so the least you could do is feign gratitude. This is, in fairness, more interesting than you’d think – it’s astonishing how many airports worldwide are built in places that really don’t look like very sensible places to build airports.
Bubblemania: You know when you’re a little kid and you take a straw and blow HARD into a bowl of washing up liquid and become entranced by the bubblepatterns that emerge and burst and vanish and reemerge with each childish exhale? Yes, well this is EXACTLY like that it except it’s in your browser and its digital and it requires neither a working pair of lungs or a bowl of Fairy to enjoy and therefore it is BETTER.
Koi Pond: Do you feel stressed? Do you feel like it’s all TOO MUCH? Would you like to be able to gaze blankly at a pond full of peacefully-unaware fish, moving quietly through water in a state of near-zenlike piscine bliss? OF COURSE YOU WOULD! Here, then, for your delectation and relaxy enjoyment is such a thing, but in digital form. If nothing else, it might be fun to load this on your phone and watch your cat go mental for a few minutes.
Doogie Typer: This week’s ‘link nicked from last week’s B3ta’ is this rather fun toy which does the whole ‘mash the keyboard anywhich way you like and the site will pretend you’re typing’ thing, but rather than making you look like (for example) a l33t h4xx0r (I have never felt my internet years weigh so heavily on my shoulders) this instead has you typing out the journal entries from 1980s/90s ‘he’s a teenage boy, but he’s also a Doctor!’ medical comedy-drama Dougie Howser. Which, fine, is probably only funny if you remember the show, but I do and it is so there.
A Simulated Deck of Cards: Why? WHY NOT! If nothing else, this will enable you to play poker and blackjack at work even if they’ve blocked your access to gambling sites so, er, that’s nice! On reflection, possibly not the best use-case I could have come up with, but hey ho.
Tokyo Jazz Joints: If you’ve ever read any Haruki Murakami then there’s a decent chance that any mental image you have of Tokyo will be soundtracked by jazz, and that you’ll have a vague picture in your head of the sort of tiny jazz bar staffed and frequented by monomaniacal obsessives, the sort of place I believe Murakami worked before he embarked upon his insanely-successful novel writing career. Anyway, this site is literally ALL ABOUT THOSE PLACES, and is just glorious – it’s mostly just photos, but the places depicted in the shots are AMAZING, tiny and rickety and smoke-stained and SO SO COOL, and this whole site basically rekindled my long-dormant desire to visit Japan and feel incredibly uncomfortable and out-of-place in venues just like this.
Tetris E60: As part of the promo for the film, here’s a chance to play a version of Tetris which is coded to look like the original version which Pajitnov coded on a device called an Elektronika60 – look, it’s Tetris, it still fcuking rocks whatever version it is. Plus, this has a particularly-banging rendition of the soundtrack which renders it immaculate – I lost HOURS to this this week, so be warned.
Where In America?: This is a little game by The Pudding which has to be a p1sstake, no? The idea is that you’re shown five photos of a mystery location in North America, and you have to drop a pin on the map to guess exactly where you are – you get one guess per photo, and after each you’re told how far away you are from your target…except HOW THE FCUK ARE YOU MEANT TO IDENTIFY THE LOCATION BASED ON SOME GENERIC PHOTOS OF GENERIC BUILDINGS? I just loaded it up now, and the first clue it’s giving me is literally a photograph of some rocks by a roadside – I posit that this is IMPOSSIBLE and is in fact some sort of weird gag that only Americans can understand. Can one of you explain it to me, please?
EggHunt: A presumably Easter-themed browser game by some retailer or another, where you have to collect the eggs across various maps – this is surprisingly fun for 10 minutes, which I appreciate isn’t a huge endorsement but, well, the bar gets lower each and every day.
The Spring Thing Festival of Interactive Fiction: I love IF, and I love an IF festival contest thing, and as such it’s no surprise that I have enjoyed so many of the entries in this year’s Spring Thing IF festival. I haven’t tried all of these – there are about 30-odd entries split across two categories – but, of those I’ve experienced, I personally particularly enjoyed Drew Cook’s ‘Repeat The Ending’. All the entries are categorised by theme, length and content, so it’s easy to find something that suits your tastes or mood – I genuinely think that IF is one of the most interesting narrative genres around and continues to be wildly underappreciated in terms of storytelling creativity, and the works here reinforce that.
The Greggs Game: It feels like Greggs is now what Wetherspoons was in The Time of Jeremy – to whit, something which is, objectively, not very good but which it is Very Important that a certain type of left-wing commentator be loudly and performatively be a fan of lest they be thought of as somehow pretentious or out of touch (you know I am right about this) – but despite my slight irritation at how much everyone LOVES IT I can’t help but, well, LOVE this videogame representation of A Day In The Life Of A Greggs Worker – made by someone called ‘Gav’, this is a superb 8-bit evocation of a day spent manning the ovens and churning out Questionable Meat Products (but you really do need to read the instructions before you start, as it’s harder than you might imagine). Why the pasty-peddlers haven’t chucked Gav a few grand to make this official is beyond me tbh, this has ‘superb brand activation you don’t even have to think about’ written all over it.
Escape Speed: XKCD has done another of its occasional ‘interactive explainer game-type things’ and, honestly, this is really impressive and a lot bigger and deeper than you might initially think. I am increasingly of the opinion that XKCD is one of the great treasures of the past decade or so of online cultural life, and that we don’t quite appreciate it enough.
Undergrowth: Finally this week, a browsergame which is also a song! Undergrowth is what I presume is the lead track from the forthcoming album ‘O Monolith’ by the band Squid – to accompany its release, they have made this game which acts as a sort of interactive music video and which does a few nice things with genre and expectations and, most importantly, is genuinely fun and a nice accompaniment to the music (there are a couple of bits where the gameplay shifts gear just as the track does which are particularly nice). Basically I want to know when we’re going to have the first proper ‘album as videogame’ thing, and I want to make sure that it’s not done by U2 (it just feels like the sort of thing they’d do tbh).

By Barkley L Hendricks

OUR FINAL MIX OF THE WEEK IS THIS SUPERB BIT OF JAZZHIPHOPTYPESTUFF COURTESY OF THE NEW EP BY VENNA!

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

El Diabolik: Not a Tumblr, but neither you nor I care! This is a great site – El Diabolik describes itself as ‘the world of psychotronic soundtracks’, and houses an absolute treasure-trove of both audio from the weird soundtrack world of the mid-20th-century. Honestly, if you like ‘obscure but often quite insanely catchy vinyl oddities’ then this will be catnip to you.

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

Wrinkle The Duck: Wrinkle is the duck’s name, not an instruction. Wrinkle has 600k+ followers, meaning it’s not impossible that many of you are aware of…her(?) already – still, if not, enjoy this very photogenic quacker (although I am not 100% convinced that the whole ‘feeding it at the table in restaurants’ thing is ok, if I’m totally honest).
RK Ceramics: This is just lovely work, and rather unusual in style, and I have a vague feeling that it’s being run by someone I used to work with years ago (in which case “HI RACHEL, I LOVE YOUR POTS!”), and even if not I think it’s worth a look.
Health & Safety: Despite the name of the account, this feed is very much NOT goal zero. Watching stuff like this makes me genuinely amazed that we’ve lasted this long as a species, frankly (and makes me look less negatively on the idea of the machines just taking over once and for all).

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

Renewable Energy Sceptics: As we await the frankly-enticing prospect of the XR lot facing off against Just Stop Oil, separated only by several-thousand fun-runners in fancy dress (whilst, to be clear, I very much support both XR and JSO’s broad aims, I also find there to be something very, very funny about this Judean People’s Front/Popular Front of Judea-level spat), so it seems timely to point to this story which makes some interesting points about the current state of the debate as to What Is To Be Done about the climate emergency and associated topics. In summary, the piece argues that rather than looking at renewable energy as a means of enabling us to continue living largely as we are now, we should instead start to radically rethink the ‘want’ portion of our relationship with the natural world – fundamentally, unless we all get used to having less, doing less and having what might charitably be termed ‘smaller lives’, all of this handwringing about whether or not to double down on biomass or nuclear is frankly a complete fcuking waste of breath.

Amazon’s Letter to Shareholders: Ok, fine, so this isn’t anyone’s idea of a sparkling piece of prosework (sorry Andy!) but it IS a super-interesting look at what the future is going to look like (let’s be honest – it is almost certainly Amazon’s future and we all ought to hope and pray that the company is going to be kind enough to allow us poor meatsacks to share it with it). This is VERY LONG, but it’s also really interesting in a slightly-depressing-and-inevitable way – reading this you very much get a sense of a business that has done a superb job of embedding itself into a frankly preposterous breadth of verticals, almost without us noticing, and the paragraphs about grocery and healthcare read very much like a threat to existing market incumbents (also the bits at the end about LLMs and Generative AI feel…ominous). Basically don’t bank on the post-Jeff era being any less successful for modernity’s most hungrily-omniovorous (and, by extension, most frightening) business.

What Was Twitter, Anyway?: It’s fair to say that Twitter really is dying – the site wheezes, the verification sh1tshow is in full swing, media outlets are pulling back and, perhaps crucially, a lot of people have simply…fcuked off. It’s a shell of what it was just a year ago…but, well, so what? Should we care? This piece in the New York Times is by Willy Staley and whilst it’s very much a grab-bag of US coastal media cliches in terms of the author’s place in the media universe and the resulting importance placed on Twitter, it’s also a very good overview of what made the site interesting and special and unique, and, I think, offers a good explanation of why it strikes me as unlikely that anything will ever really ‘replace’ it in a 1:1 sense.

Who Bought Pr0nhub?: You may have seen, and sniggered at, the news that global bongo favourite Pr0nhub was recently acquired by the fabulously, improbably-named ‘Ethical Capital Partners’ – but, as this piece makes clear, what’s really interesting about this is that noone’s really certain who Ethical Capital Partners are, or where the money to finance the acquisition came from, or whose interests it represents, and this raises all sorts of quite important-seeming questions about the extent to which it can be A Good Thing that one of the world’s most-trafficked websites, and one which collects all sorts of interesting user-data to boot, is now owned by…a mysterious and seemingly-unknowable cabal of faceless investors. As the author asks, “Ultimately because we don’t know who financed ECP, it’s hard to know what the concerns are. Some of the questions that came up for me were: What if a fund with drastically different ethical frameworks bought it? Or, what if this bid is just a ploy for the current leaders of MindGeek to keep running the company behind a shell leadership front? How can we hold the real owners accountable to Pornhub actions or impacts without knowing who they are?” This is SO interesting, less because of the specific facts of this particular case but because of what it tells us about how little we actually know about the people and money behind so much of the web.

Don’t Worry About The Jobs: Those of you who bother to read my words rather than just clicking the links and ignoring the horrible prose (thankyou, and I am sorry) will be aware of my position as something of a Cassandra when it comes to the whole intersection of AI with bullsh1t white collar jobs like yours and mine. This piece, though, suggests that I am being a needless worrywort and that in fact things will be FINE, because (and I am oversimplifying here) previous technological advances have created increases in demand which compensate for the reduction in labour they engender, and that (again, oversimplifying) that (for example) the ease with which we’ll all be able to sue each other using AI will mean that we’ll need loads more ACTUAL LAWYERS to deal with all the writs flying about. I…I don’t buy this argument AT ALL, and I don’t personally think that the examples used in the piece stand up in any meaningful way (why, for example, couldn’t this additional imaginary law work also be done by machines? Why are people necessary to meet increased demand for these machine-augmented services?), but you may find it a helpful corrective to my incessant and tedious doomerism.

AI and the Media Jobs: Another piece on AI and work, which I’m including because it vaguely addresses an argument I’m seeing around a lot at the moment. “If your job writing copy can be taken by a machine,” so the smug cnuts on LinkedIn and Twitter are saying, “then you need to write better copy! If your business thinks it can replace a human copywriter with AI, then your copy’s no good!” Except, look, have the people reading these arguments actually spent any time reading the vast majority of the ‘copy’ that’s out there in the wild right now? This article, in Slate, takes the starting premise that ‘if AI replaces ‘journalism’ then your ‘journalism’ wasn’t ‘journalism’ to begin with’, and the idea that, actually, it’s a good thing if The Machine is the one writing the SEO-optimised ‘what time does the Coronation start?’ searchbait copy rather than an actual human, so the human can go off and do MEANINGFUL WORK – except, as the author quite reasonably points out, there is literally nothing about the current models for journalism (and you can replace ‘journalism’ with ‘content creation’ and it still works) that suggests that anyone really wants or needs the meaningful work, or indeed that anyone is going to pay the actual humans any money to do it (cf Buzzfeed News being a very timely case-in-point). Basically, anyone currently going ‘no, don’t worry, this will free you up to do better/more meaningful/more creative work!’ doesn’t, I would argue, have any fcuking idea of what the past couple of decades in media have been like and should be ignored out of hand. Seriously, read this and tell me how it’s possible to disagree: “I’d like to imagine that in an ideal world, media barons would put the residuals harvested by their chattelled automation programs toward creating a much more considerate onboarding environment for young reporters, critics, and bloggers, if only so those jobs will never be inflicted on human beings ever again. But that also requires me to believe that the boardrooms making these decisions will prioritize the best interests of their employees when presented with a cost-saving, payroll-shortening innovation. There’s a good reason why everyone is fearing the worst. When given the option, the media industry’s financiers tend to embrace contraction, which means it’s much more likely that automation will unleash a fresh slate of wild depravities in the media.”

The Imminent Lawyerly Bonanza Around AI Music: Well THAT all blew up quickly – we go from the Savages track one week to the (frankly, not very good) Drake/Weeknd thing, and AI-Oasis and all of a sudden everyone is lawyering up and the record labels are getting frothily excited just like it’s 2001 all over again. There is SO much that’s interesting about this – the arguments about what constitutes ‘fair use’ and the extent to which ‘a machine ingesting literally the entire corpus of an artist’s work and digesting it and then creating reasonably-convincing new material which sounds like the artist but nonetheless isn’t’ can be described as ‘taking inspiration’ rather than ‘ripping off a quality that is unique to a performer’ are fascinating, and get to the very heart of the fundamental questions around the meaning of ‘copyright’ and the very concept of ‘ownership’. If the lawyers are indeed set to be rendered extinct by the LLMs, they’re due one final MASSIVE payday before they sign off.

Save The Quietus: The Quietus is a genuinely brilliant publication, championing interesting, intelligent and unusual writing about music and artists who exist outside of the ‘mainstream’ (whatever that is these days). It’s struggling for cash, and needs new subscribers to survive, and if you can afford it they have some great discounted packages available at the moment to entice you to back them. I’ve linked to various pieces from the Quietus over the years – certainly more than I ever have from the NME or Pitchfork – and it would be a genuine shame were it to go under.

The Mysterious Identical Songs of Spotify: You may have seen Tweets doing the round this week expressing confusion at the fact that Spotify is seemingly featuring the same song listed under over 50 different name/artist combinations – what is the song? Who’s it by? WHY IS IT EVERYWHERE AND WHY CAN NOONE AGREE ON WHAT IT’S CALLED? Ted Gioia investigates, and while he doesn’t quite get to the bottom of the story it becomes quite clear that the answer is, obviously, “someone’s using a lot of automation to attempt to game Spotify for £££”. What’s interesting, though, is the possibility that this is Spotify doing it itself as a move to wean people off person-created music and towards machine-created tunes – because, of course, you don’t have to pay the (pitifully small) royalty cheques to the machines. One to file under ‘stop worrying about the coming AI apocalypse, the tedious reality is that the ensh1ttifcAItion of everything is already well underway’.

The Post-Influencer Influencing Grift: Oh, ok, fine, none of the people profiled in this piece would want to be described as ‘influencers’ anymore, but, honestly, if you’re selling courses based on Who You Are then that’s exactly what you are doing. Still, I quite enjoyed reading the stories of former influencers who’d burned out and stepped away from the ring light to get ‘proper’ jobs, but who are making a nice little side-hustle along the way by offering courses to influencers telling them how to, er, stop influencing and get a real job. There’s something quite bleakly funny about not being able to get off the grind of selling an illusion, even if you try.

The Sound Boxes of India: THIS IS SO INTERESTING (and also, super-Gibsonian, in the sense that the early Sprawl novels had whereby superfuturetech was grafted onto a social reality that is significantly more prosaic and 20thC than you might initially expect) – this piece in the excellent Rest of World explains the growing phenomenon of ‘soundboxes’ being used by small shopkeepers across India to facilitate digital payments. Because of the fact that so many rural Indians can neither read nor write, digital payments can be problematic – messages confirming payment can’t be read by their recipients, creating confusion at sales points as vendors try and make sure transactions have gone through correctly. To help deal with this, retailers have started installing smart speakers which provide a verbal confirmation that a transaction has been effectuated, which speeds up the process and provides reassurance to vendors – and which has spun out into a separate industry providing loans to said shopkeepers to help them afford the devices in the first place. I find things like this fascinating – the interplay of socioeconomics and tech, and the formation of new markets like this, is super-interesting, even to someone with as little commercial nous as me.

The Taco Bell Innovation Kitchen: I’ve never eaten Taco Bell and I can’t imagine I ever will, but thanks both to trips to the US in the past, and the cultural flattening of EVERYTHING due to the web, I am familiar with the brand, its products and the increasingly-weird stuff that comes out of its development kitchens – this piece is all about how those weird things get decided upon and made, and if you’re anything like me it will make you want to work there SO MUCH. This is super-interesting, in part because it’s a window into a world that I have honestly never considered before (the fact that testing reveals the EXACT crunchiness people prefer in a tortilla chip, for example, to the point of ‘lbs per square inch’ pressure, is the sort of detail I go mad for) but also because it reveals quite a lot of interesting additional information (for example, the extent to which the increasingly cheese-heavy Taco Bell menu is a direct byproduct of what is effectively decades of hardcore lobbying by the US Dairy Management industry) about exactly how and why millions upon millions of people eat what they do.

The Gostak: Reading this gave me proper little mental frissons of excitement; you know the sort, when you realise that you’re being made to think about something genuinely a bit chewy and conceptually interesting, in a way that doesn’t happen anywhere near often enough. This is a piece about a long-forgotten piece of interactive fiction published two decades ago – it was called The Gostak, and it was told entirely in an imaginary language, which made playing the game a process not only of working your way through the story and puzzles but also of piecing together the rules and the framework for the language the story was told in as you went. Honestly, if you’ve any interest in language and communication (and also logic, and HOW WE THINK) then this really is wonderful – even better, it contains a link to play the game so that you too can start to grapple with the “delcot of tondam, where gitches frike and duscats glake.”

A Brief History of the Notes App: Or, more specifically, a brief history of the notes app in the context of celebrity apologies. This is a very serious piece of writing about a very frivolous topic, and is very much worth your time (not least for the fact that, if you’ve not read it, the James Charles example is quite staggering).

The Battle Over Techno’s History: Specifically, the two dance music museums which vie for the title of ‘International Museum of Techno’ – one, as you might expect, in Detroit, the other, less traditionally, in Frankfurt. To be honest, the whole ‘battle’ angle is rather confected for the headline – the guys in Frankfurt are pretty clear that they are a museum of dance music in general and appear to have made peace with the Detroit people after some initial froideur – but as an overview of the genre’s history, where it came from and how it developed on both sides of the Atlantic this is rather excellent and it REALLY made me want to do a lot of cheap speed and chew the inside of my face for approximately 9 hours straight.

My Transplanted Heart And I Will Die Soon: This is quite a remarkable piece of writing – I don’t think I’ve ever read anything quite like it before, at least in terms of the patient experience it describes. Amy Silverstein has had two successful heart transplants – but her second new heart is dying, and the drugs don’t exist to keep it alive anymore, and when it dies, she will die too. There’s quite a lot of this which I found…uncomfortable, but I’m not sure how much of that feeling is down to simply not quite knowing how to relate to the authorial experience here and how much down to specific choices of tone and language; the prose is beautiful at times, though, and I guarantee you will feel…something as you read, though I can’t promise what.

Goop At Sea: I don’t normally include things in the longreads section that I am not 100% sold on, but will make an exception for this because so many other people seemed to enjoy it and I have to concede that my taste is just crap. Lauren Oyler takes a press trip on the Goop Cruise, and writes it up for Harper’s, and…gah, what can I say, I fcuking HATED this with a surprising passion – it acknowledges the DFW-debt upfront, but I think I started losing patience when Oyler made the ‘is it still 2010?’-level gag about Foster Wallace being a misogynist, and a lot of his fans being misogynists too, and I never really regained my enthusiasm because – and know that I have read a LOT of ‘journalist goes on cruise, does longform, post-DFW’ pieces, and linked to them here, and as such I know a bit whereof I speak – this is VERY DULL. The prose doesn’t sparkle – I get that ‘millennial and affectless’ is Oyler’s *thing*, but, honestly, it’s Xanax-y throughout – and, if I’m honest, the fact that Oyler mentions her polyamory inside the first 1000 words gives you a perfect idea of how fascinating the whole thing is.

Why Elon Musk Isn’t Funny: This is a better article than the headline and premise deserve, mainly because it does a very good job of pinpointing exactly what flavour of annoying secondary school (high school, for the non-Anglos) loser Elon must have been and, sadly for us, still is. I don’t think I’ve fully recovered from the full-body pretzel cringe I did when reading his “still can’t believe my birthday is 69 days from 4/20!’ Tweet.

You Have A New Memory: I think I’ve mentioned the unique impossibility of writing about online in Serious Prose before, and the general consensus that it’s only really Patricia Lockwood who can do it with any degree of skill and consistency – this, though, is a very good article which does a particularly good job of describing a peculiarity of post-online life, specifically the degree to which we are ‘seen’ by the web and its agents, and how that sense of being surveilled is both reassuring and comforting and terrifying and intrusive and horrible and the most comforting thing, sometimes, you have ever experienced. There’s a skittering sort of ADD-immediacy to the prose here which I very much enjoyed, like it was very much being written ‘live’ (if you know what I mean).

The Golden Bough: Finally this week, a gorgeous short story from Granta 30 years ago, by one Salman Rushdie. This is beautifully-crafted and, technically, the best thing I read all week by quite a long way.

By Timothy Lai Hui Ming

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

First up in this week’s selection of moving pictures and sounds, proof that at least the animators are safe from The Machines for a few weeks yet. This is an animation that was commissioned by OpenAI to mark the one-year anniversary of Dall-E2’s release (it is frankly MENTAL that it is only a year); imagery created by The Machine has been animated by ACTUAL HUMANS (ones who have in the past won actual awards for their work) to create this centaur-y production, and…it’s not very good. It’s flat, and static, and feels rote, and it lacks any of the sort of warmth and heart and flourish of the best of the work by studios like Pixar or, frankly, any number of one-man-band human animators. Which is good news! Except, of course, in about a year’s time you’ll be able to take this, plug it into Premiere 2024 and type ‘create a lushly animated forest in the background full of humorous incidental characters such as butterflies and caterpillars and the odd gibbon, all of whom should caper merrily between 0:22 – 01:29’ and robert’s your father’s brother, so perhaps the animators should stay on their toes a bit longer.

Here’s another piece of animation, made by an actual person and all the better for it. This is rather wonderful, and I adore the visual style employed – it’s called “5 Cents”.

Based on the YouTube thumbnail for this song, I didn’t expect it to sound like this – but it does! Which, I appreciate, tells you nothing whatsoever about whether or not you should listen to it or not – er, you should! The song is called ‘Sleeping With Strangers’, it’s by Sean Barna, and it’s vaguely-countryish in (I promise) the least-countryish way imaginable, and it’s as much a prose poem as it as a song, and, generally, I think it’s great.

Porridge Radio are one of my musical finds of the past year or so, and this song is another absolute belter – this is called ‘7 Seconds’, and if I were 14 I would totally have painted this band’s name all over my stuff with Tipp-Ex.

Avelino’s been around the London MC scene for AGES now, but amazingly hadn’t released an album until this week – this is the last track off the record, and while on the one hand it ticks a lot of ‘last track on hiphop album’ boxes (‘serious’, thoughtful subject matter, minor-key piano backing), this benefits from being a genuinely good song from an artist whose flow (I will never, ever be able to type that without cringing incredibly hard) is honestly superb. The song is called ‘Acceptance’.

Finally this week, a new project by Shardcore’s alter-ego Eric Drass – this is DRASS and a track called ‘I Am The Prophet’, which frankly is pretty much the perfect soundtrack to the first 4 months of 2023. I LOVE YOU DON’T TRUST THE MACHINES TAKE CARE BYE!

Webcurios 14/04/23

April 14, 2023

admin

Uncategorized No Comments

Opening
Misc 1
Misc 2
Tumblr
Long Reads
Video

Reading Time: 37 minutes

HELLO EVERYONE WELCOME TO ANOTHER WEB CURIOS DID YOU HAVE A NICE TIME THIS EASTER OH THAT’S NICE GOOD.

Ahem. Are you well? Did you manage to avoid either crucifixion or the acquisition of chocolate-related type-2 diabetes? GREAT!

I am in something of a hurry what with having to get to lunch and it being 1155am at the time of writing and my still being in my pants and needing to get something of a move on with the washing and the dressing and suchlike – so, er, this is all you’re getting by way of an intro. Sorry.

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and you and I both know that the opening few paragraphs are always the very worst of each week’s edition.

By Miloš Ilić

WE KICK OFF THIS WEEK WITH AN OLD ALBUM RATHER THAN A NEW MIX, BUT I MAKE NO APOLOGIES BECAUSE THIS WILL ALWAYS FEEL LIKE SPRING IN MY MIND AND MAYBE IT WILL FOR YOU TOO!

THE SECTION WHICH IS GENUINELY SADDENED BY THE FACT THAT THE GUY LEAKING ALL THE STUFF IN THE US HAD THE RELATIVELY-BANAL ‘OG’ AS A USERNAME RATHER THAN SOMETHING PLEASINGLY-CHAOTIC LIKE, I DON’T KNOW, “WWE P1SSPIG” , PT.1:

The HTML Review: This week, as a special treat for having survived without links for a whole fortnight (I refuse to believe there are other sources of links, don’t lie to me) we kick off with something GENUINELY GREAT! This is the second edition of the HTML review, and once again it’s a collection of experiments in form – the letter from the editor frankly explains the ethos better than I ever could, so, er, here: “Our 2023 issue is made up of 17 contributions that span modes of digital literature and experiment. We have poetic instruments, interactive fictions, illustrated essays, movable lyrics, linguistic gardens, and pixelated memories. I like to think each piece we publish is a specific illumination of how literature can exist in digital spaces. They are each reflective of a World Wide Web built with fingerprints visible, inviting all to participate and take ownership.” These are SO SO LOVELY – fine, ok, so I have a bias here as I am a particular sucker for anything that combines code and narrative in interesting ways, but even if you’re less of a sucker for ‘art made of words’ than I am you will, I promise, find things to love here – from click-to-advance poetry that really makes you feel each mousepress to a perfectly-crafted homage to messageboard conversations on web1.0, to the weird but very very beautiful semi-organic landscape of the html gardens, this is all just beautiful and, quite often, really affecting (again, I have a particular emotional weakness for this sort of thing, but I promise that if even someone as basically dead inside as me can find something to love in here then you can too). Practically perfect in every way, I promise you, and if you’re finding everything a bit much this week then you could do worse than just stopping at this link and just hanging out a bit.

Cube Fashion: What shape is the fashion industry? No, come on, it’s a serious question – WHAT FCUKING SHAPE IS IT? Know that if you answered anything other than ‘it is a cube, Matt; fashion is a cube as any fule kno’ that you were WRONG – still, you can atone for your ignorance by exploring THE UNIVERSE OF FASHION THROUGH DATA, thanks to this project by Google and Vogue (which, shamefully, is actually from October last year and which I am hideously late to and which, as I type, is causing the sort of hot/cold embarrassed sweat flushes that I associate more with childhood sporting humiliation than I do newsletter-writing) which presents the ENTIRE ECOSYSTEM OF FASHION BRANDS as, er, a series of datapoints arrayed in a vaguely cubic fashion to demonstrate each of said brands’ relative performance against a variety of different criteria (geographical footprint, green initiatives and, er, ‘corporate communications’, to name but three), letting you see a UNIQUE DATA-DRIVEN CUBIC DESIGN for each of the stars in the great fashion galaxy. And it tells you…well, it tells you the square root of fcuk-all, turns out, given there’s no scale or explanation as to how you’re meant to read any of this stuff, or any depth to the data displayed (it’s just fancy graphing, at heart), but it looks pretty and that’s the main thing. A bit of digital work in the fashion space that looks pretty but is fundamentally empty and devoid of meaning? This stuff writes itself, I tell you.

Bohemian RhapsodAI: Leaving aside the horror of the name – you know what they’re doing with the wordplay, but just take a moment to pause here and say the title of this website out loud;it’s genuinely unpleasant to vocalise, for reasons I can’t quite articulate – this is partly a nice piece of eyecatching digital promo work by some Dutch agency, and partly…look, I don’t want to pretend that I am some sort of massive Queen or Freddie Mercury fan, or that I have particularly strong feelings about THE SANCTITY OF AN ARTIST’S MEMORY, but at the same time, er, this sounds HORRIBLE! Basically this is at heart the sort of ‘run a bunch of different isolated vocal tracks together based on user inputs, using maths to try and make it all sound vaguely-coherent’ you’ve seen before, but with an added layer of AI-wrangling so that you can get a choir of machine-imagined Freddies warbling together as they sing all the different parts of Bohemian Rhapsody – did they have to make it sound quite so much like it’s being sung tone-deaf people who hated his music, though? If you know, live with or work with any big fans of the band and their music, this will REALLY upset them.

Welcome Home: THIS IS SO GOOD. Like an ARG but, as far as I can tell, without attempting to sell you anything or get you to do really, really hard maths, this is a web portal into a fan community for forgotten mid-20thC kids TV show ‘Welcome Home’, a puppet-lad show designed to educate and amuse small people in much the same way as Sesame Street. “Welcome Home was an American children’s television program created and produced by The Playfellow Workshop, which served as the studio’s only production. Supposedly its first episode aired on October 11th, 1969 and was broadcast onto an unknown channel until it’s last estimated air date sometime in 1974” – or at least that’s the ostensible explanation. There’s something…off about this, though, and the longer you look at the pages the more you realise that this has far more of the vibe of “Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared” than, say, Rosie & Jim, and that there’s something not quite right about some of the images, and that not all the links go where you expect them to go…I don’t want to spoil this too much, but I strongly advise you to spelunk and explore and click and keep your soul clutched tight in your chest as there is a LOT in here – also, I have just decided that ARGs are due a comeback so if you could all please start working on some that would be great thanks.

Inside The Great Pyramid: I feel a bit guilty saying this, but I’ve never been hugely interested in visiting the pyramids – I do wonder whether this is some sort of inbuilt Italian bias whereby my Roman ancestry means that whenever I look at any ancient architecture that isn’t the Palatine I can’t help but make the sort of dismissive hand and mouth gestures immortalised by generations worth of cinematic stereotypes – which is why I was so grateful for this new bit of Streetview-esque webwork on the Mused platform which lets you explore inside the (VERY CLAUSTROPHOBIC) corridors of the Great Pyramid at Giza and see what all those explorers were so keen to get their mitts on. This is genuinely fascinating (although also…quite aesthetically uniform, which I appreciate feels like something of a churlish complaint when one is using magical future technology to explore the thousand-year-old corridors of the immortal tomb of a child-god-king but, well, it is the future and we are entitled) without needing either to get your clothes dusty or worry about camelspit.

The Pear Ring: Everything old is new again! Now that everyone’s seemingly decided that dating apps are Not The One, people are once again casting about for new and exciting ways in which to monetise the fact that people, at heart, want to fcuk (yes, ok, fine, ‘find love’). So it is that we have The Pear Ring, a revolutionary product which, er, functions as a massive neon sign above your head reading “DTF!”. Obviously that’s not how the people peddling it would want to describe it – the ‘insight’ (lol) at the heart of this is that ‘76% of people are open to being chatted up in real life’ (LOL PERHAPS BUT NOT BY YOU), and that as such it makes perfect sense for all the single people in the world to all sign up to wearing the same article of jewellery so that they can identify each other in the otherwise-homogenous soup of coupled-up marrieds. WELL. There’s lots to enjoy about this idea – for a start, the thought that any woman in 2023 would want to go out in public wearing something that’s publicly-coded as ‘yes, please come and talk to me, stranger! I am open to your potentially-amorous advances!’ strikes me as…optimistic. Second, didn’t everyone try ‘traffic light’ parties in the mid-90s and decide they were a waste of time? Thirdly, as my friend Ged pointed out, this is going to get quite awkward for anyone who wears simple jade jewellery. My biggest objection to this, though, is how BORING it is – ‘wear a ring to show you’re single’ is basically the tedious, vanilla version of the old ‘wear a specifically-coloured hanky in your back pocket to show what you’re willing to do in bed’ from olden days San Francisco (and, if you replace the hankies with baguettes, Paris too, sexy history fans!), and it saddens me that the makers of this haven’t broadened the selection of rings available to encompass (for example), yellow rings for those who are open to impromptu toilet play. By the way, clicking on the website will present you with a banner suggesting that the rings are ‘93% sold out’ – the website was also saying this when I discovered it a week or so ago, suggesting either that sales have slowed somewhat or that the people behind it are lying. YOUR GUESS.

MoonView: This is Google Earth but for the moon. Yes, I know, it’s not quite as immediately visually-appealing as the Earth, but I for one had always been curious as to what Olympus Mons actually looked like and now I can die happy (lol) so, well, ENJOY!

Jasper The Doll: I understand literally nothing about this – who is behind it, and why the account’s owner, who as far as I can tell is a 20something kid in the states, is spenmding what I imagine amounts to a not-insignificant portion of their lives making TikTok videos embodying the persona of Jasper, a croaky-voiced and raggedy-looking doll which features in small skits and which really shouldn’t be compelling but which sort-of is. Look, I know that that’s a genuinely horrible non-description, but watch this particular example of the Jasper canon and tell me it’s not ART (it is, I promise you, ART).

To Be: I adore this. To Be is a digital poem by Alicia Guo – it’s infinite and self-generating, and I don’t quite know how it works or where it’s pulling the words from, but each time it’s different and each time it’s fragmented and magical and silly and poignant and confusing and beautiful and I would like this to be read forever by a choir of machine voices until the heat death of the universe please thankyou.

AutoGPT: I put it off as long as I could, I promise, but we’re quickly going to have to run through some AI stuff – I promise I will try and keep it as painless as possible, though, and we’ll be back to t he ephemera sooner than you can say “WE ARE ALL SO BORED OF AI THAT WE WOULD WELCOME DEATH AT THE HANDS OF OUR NEW MATHSY OVERLOARDS RATHER THAN READ ANOTHER FCUKING THING ABOUT GPT”. Anyway, after a frothy couple of weeks in which people have spent an awful lot of time talking about AI and What It Might Mean For Us without in any way spending time thinking about what, to my mind, is The Big Issue Here (to whit: “why are we building all these post-scarcity toys in an era in which scarcity is still very much a thing, and why are we not spending more time thinking about what this is going to do?”) here’s another piece of ammo for all the DOOMERS currently convinced that the LLMs are just a training cycle away from plotting our demise. AutoGPT is – let’s be clear – a very emergent thing right now, and it’s more theoretical than practical, but it’s…impressive in scope. The link here takes you to a Twitter thread talking about the principle and demonstrating how it functions in practice, but, simply put, “Auto-GPT is an open-source application showing the power of LLMs like GPT-4 to autonomously develop and manage different kinds of tasks like completing a code session or suggesting a business idea. You give an agent an identity, role/task, goals, and specifics about what to accomplish and it attempts to achieve it in an “autonomous” way through a framework designed to allow the model to “reason and act” to accomplish the task.”” So what this does is basically give a window into the not-too-distant future in which you will theoretically be able to ask your AI assistant to, for example, research your preferences based on a corpus of material and then, depending on its analysis of said corpus, go off and book you a holiday that you will like (checking your calendar for your availability, obvs). Is this good? It sounds convenient, of course, but then there are all the questions about the extent to which it’s a good idea to allow black boxes to behave with this degree of operational autonomy…BUT DON’T WORRY! As I said, this is (probably) MONTHS away from being reality! If you’d like a practical, hands-on way of exploring how this stuff might work, here’s a little toy that demonstrates the sorts of steps AutoGPT would go through to accomplish a broad task – oh, and of course someone has set this up with the goal to ‘Destroy Humanity’, so if you’re interested you can track the progress of ChaosGPT at this Twitter feed (at the time of writing it has decided to attempt to use Twitter to manipulate people to do its bidding, which will make you laugh darkly if you’ve ever tried to use Twitter to change anyone’s opinion about anything). Ought we be worried? NOT ABOUT THIS, BE WORRIED ABOUT THE JOBS AND THE MONEY FFS.

Memecam: Can an AI come up with meme gags? No, basically, is the answer, but that doesn’t mean it’s not fun to watch it try. Open up the Memecam site on your phone, snap a photo of anything you fancy and watch as The Machine attempts to come up with HILARIOUS ‘I Can Haz Cheezburger’-type copy to accompany it – these aren’t, by any standard definition, ‘funny’, but there’s something interesting about watching the software skirting around the edges of humour, and occasionally it will spit out something halfway-amusing (it correctly identified the fat, ugly cat currently staring at me through the back window as a stray, for example – yes, I have fed it this morning, and NO FATSO you are not having any more ffs). Why not spend the rest of your day wandering around your office/home/neighbourhood turning everyone you know into a meme? Yes, ok, fine, it might not sound like a fulfilling way to spend your Friday afternoon, but it will fill some of those empty hours between birth and death and that’s the main thing.

PoeBots: Poe is Quora’s attempt at an LLM – you all remembered this, right? You all hold this vital, crucial in your heads and hearts at all times? You don’t, do you? SO WHY MUST I BE COMPELLED TO REMEMBER THIS SH1T THEN? FFS! – and it’s now introduced quite a neat feature which elevates it a little more towards being a thing you might occasionally use rather than something you tried once and then forgot existed. Basically you can now use Poe to spin up themed chatbots with but a line or two pf prompt instruction; the gimmick here is that the bots will persist, and can be shared, and that it’s free. Which is potentially useful if you can be bothered to try and spin up a conversational assistant with a particular persona which you can persistently draw on – ok, yes, fine, you could do the same with a GPT prompt but you’d theoretically have to re-enter it every few tokens whereas this purports to last longer; it’s only playing with GPT3.5 and below-level tech, so don’t expect miracles, but this could be amusing/useful to play around with.

Segment Anything: On the one hand, I am aware that there is a lot of REALLY technically-impressive stuff going on with this tech, Meta’s new image-recognition AI which lets you isolate literally any element from an image with a pretty-terrifying degree of precision (seriously, play with the examples – the fact that it can clip the stick from a dog’s mouth is quite remarkable); on the other, I find it quite hard to get excited for stuff that is ‘Photoshop but easier’. Your mileage, though, may vary significantly.

PhotoPrompts: Ooh, this is a useful little tool – a prompt generator for images (as far as I can make out, specifically optimised for the latest version of Midjourney) which lets you select from a series of dropdowns to pick the name of the photographer whose style you’d like to rinse, the style of image you’re after, the aspect ratio and the lighting, along with the angle of shot and depth of field, and the site will create a usable prompt to start you off. Obviously this is…less good if you stop to think about the eventual endpoint for all of this, or indeed any of the thorny and still-largely-intractable questions around the extent to which a ‘style’ can be said to be ‘owned’ by an individual or otherwise, but if you don’t dwell too much and focus on the fact that it makes YOUR life marginally easier then, well, it’s all fine!

TextPrompts: I’m including this not because I think it’s good or I endorse it, but because I am once again slightly amazed by the grift here – would YOU pay $25 for a Chrome extension that would help you create prompts for LLMs based on a series of questions? Maybe you would, I don’t know, but this strikes me as a quite astonishingly-hopeful punt at making some cash out of the boom in interest in AI. Although, according to the site, nearly 300 people have signed up and this person’s trousered $7k+ so, well, I’m the idiot here, aren’t I? FFS Matt, you are always the idiot.

AI CafePress: Speaking of grift, I am genuinely agog at this platform which is LITERALLY cafepress for your terrible AI art – give it a prompt, wait a few seconds and then YOU TOO can create a generic storefront to sell your soulless, generic AI-generated imagery on poor-quality sweatshop-stitched tshirts and sweats! This is in-part funny, but also very much not funny at all when you consider the number of people currently working on selling exactly this vision to morons worldwide (there are 110% people currently selling “here’s how to create an AI-to-dropshipping pipeline for seamless passive income TODAY!” courses for $199.99 a pop), and take a moment to factor in the likely impact that this sort of stuff is probably going to have on the volumes of cheap, throwaway tat clogging up the planet in the years to come.

Infinite Adversaries: A fun project by Curios reader Felix Jung (THANKS FELIX!), who’s created a light ‘choose your own adventure’-style narrative game experience thing using GPT. Felix writes: “On entering the site, visitors are offered a choice of weapon (a different set of options every time). From there, ChatGPT then creates a random adversary and location, along with a set of four possible actions you can take. Some actions involve the weapon you chose. Some actions involve your physical surroundings. Depending on what you choose to do, ChatGPT then narrates the outcome. If you survive, your prize is another adversary. This was a lot of fun to work on, and I found myself pretty awed at the types of responses ChatGPT came up with (I provide some randomized guidance, but the options and outcomes are all from ChatGPT). Each encounter is also illustrated by an image from DALL-E.” This is fun-but-simple – it won’t keep you hooked for long, but it’s interesting to see what the software generates and it’s clear what the potential is from the point of view of emergent storytelling.

The Fantasy Internet Simulator: I LOVE THIS WHAT A WONDERFUL IDEA! Imagine browsing the internet from a half-imagined past, where the aesthetic and vibes sort-of fit but where everything’s not quite as you remember it…Nate Parrott is attempting to create exactly that with his Fantasy internet Simulator, which, in his words, works like this: “it works like any other browser: type a URL or a search query, and it loads a page! but in this case, the page isn’t coming from the internet. it’s coming from chatGPT. and i’ve asked chatGPT to pretend it’s still 1996.” You need to be able to install and run this yourself using Tesflight on iOS, but if you can then I promise you it is SO MUCH FUN and such a wonderful exercise in collaborative imagination and storytelling – wandering through a hallucinatory memory of a web that never was feels like the perfect application for this feverish generation of language manglers.

By Mark Steinmetz

WE CONTINUE THE THROWBACKS WITH THE EXCELLENT ‘THIS IS MY DEMO’ BY SWAY FROM 2007! SIMPLER TIMES!

QI Meditations: Do you meditate? Does it…does it help? Does it stop the voices? Crucially, does it do a better job of at least keeping them a bit quiet than drugs and booze do? Maybe I should give it a go – and maybe I should use QI meditations to do so (I probably shouldn’t, though)! QI Meditations combines text-generating AI with text-to-voice synthesis to present you with a selection of guided meditations penned by machine; “Defying the norms of traditional mindfulness, Qi offers a series of randomly generated meditation exercises. These peculiar and amusing prompts urge users to embrace the absurdity of the content, promoting the idea that meditation can take many forms. As a commentary on society’s increasing dependency on technology and the prevalence of AI-generated content, Qi challenges users to scrutinize the boundaries of AI and its impact on human experiences. By presenting AI-generated art in such an eccentric manner, Qi compels users to face the unpredictable nature of AI and consider its potential consequences on art and culture.” Honestly, these are actually quite funny – there’s a featured one today in the style of Trump and whilst there’s nothing I find funny or interesting about That Fcuking Man anymore I confess to being charmed enough to listen to the whole, ridiculous thing.
Travel Photographer of the Year: BRAND NEW AWARD-WINNING PHOTOS! These are, as you would expect, superb – there’s a UK winner too, in the shape of the Young Travel Photographer of the Year Cal Cole from Manchester, but my personal ‘favourites’ (I use the term advisedly) are the images of the little kids boxing about halfway down because, well, just look at them.
CookNovels: I really like this idea, and it feels very much like something that half a dozen of you could reasonably steal for your ‘6/10-rated concepts that we can keep to lob in any presentation that’s looking a bit thin on the creative front’ folder. CookNovels riffs on the running gag about online recipe sites requiring you to read War & Peace before you get to the ingredients list – except here the joke is that you really DO get a whole (out of copyright) novel before each recipe. There are only three, but you can get your recipe for simple Chile Con Carne served with a sider order of Homer, say, or pair Moby Dick with a low-carb prawn cocktail – I refuse to believe that there’s not a million ways you can ‘borrow’ this and frankly improve it for the right brand but, equally, I am too lazy to bother to try and think of any so who the fcuk knows?
PrankGPT: This, though, I feel honour-bound to point out, is A BAD IDEA and Web Curios in no way endorses it. Do YOU think that it sounds like a sensible or liability-free idea to hook up an LLM, a text-to-voice engine and an web-to-phone calling protocol to spin up a system whereby you can call in an AI-generated ‘prank call’ about any subject you cabn imagine to anyone in the world whose phone number you know? IT IS NOT! It is, honestly, a very bad one! Yes, ok, fine, I know that the setup here is almost certainly made my a couple of bored highschool kids and is therefore is janky as fcuk (and in fairness I wasn’t quite able to get it to work this morning), and I am also aware that it’s probably not possible to make the bot generate anything awful because of guardrails and limited guiding inputs…but, also, I don’t think this FEELS like something that bodes well. Still, file this one away for June when you’re sitting around brainstorming Hallowe’en ideas.
EuroVelo: Whilst obviously I have no idea of the identities of anyone reading this, I’ve got a vague idea that the readership for Web Curios tends towards ‘middle-aged urban-dwelling men who probably work in a media-related industry’, which, from what I can tell, is a pretty much 1:1 Venn diagram match with ‘people who make cycling and the fact that they like it a core and frankly insufferable part of their identity’ (sorry, but I have lost friends to the two wheels and lycra disease and I am BITTER about it) – as such, I imagine that there are a few of you for whom this website, which lets you plan cycling trips around Europe (thankfully that’s geographical rather than political Europe, meaning even the great act of national self-harm that was Brexit hasn’t managed to spoil it for the Brits just yet), will be of not-insignificant appeal. Although on reflection ifyou like cycling that much then you probably new about it already. FFS.
April Fool’s On The Web: Yes, I know, there is very little in the world less funny than the lies that brands tell you on April 1st (apart, of course, from the ones they tell you on the other 364 days of the year! “Sustainability!” lol!), but at the same time you might find it helpful to have a searchable database of every single one of the (to repeat, DESPERATELY UNFUNNY) corporate gags committed to HTML each year since 1994, if only so you can use it to resurrect every single one of these with the addition of “…but with AI!”.
Colouring The Past: A photography series by Eri Erlick which serves not only as an colourised archive of great shots but as useful reminder that trans people have been a thing throughout recorded history, all over the world, and recent attempts to portray the concept of transgenderism or gender fluidity as some sort of uniquely-modern aberration born of post-web decadence is, frankly, stupid and wrong and ahistorical. “Using recent breakthroughs in photo editing techniques, Eli colorizes, restores, and digitizes photos from queer and trans history. The following images are originally from 1897-1973.After noticing how much more responsive audiences are to color photos, Eli decided to share these amazing moments from queer and trans history. During a time when politicians can openly argue trans people did not exist until 2015, it is important to use reminders like these that we have always been here.” It’s honestly astonishing and not a little miserable to note the degree to which the tenor of the conversation around gender has in many respects worsened rather than improved over the course of the past 50 years.
High Rises: Gorgeous photos of very tall American buildings. “The prosperity of early 20th century America resulted in a boom of skyscrapers that still tower over cities across the country today. Focusing on the character and craftsmanship on display at the top of these landmark buildings in a way that can’t be seen from street level, the Highrises Collection reveals fascinating details and stories of these distinctly American icons.A drone-mounted camera takes multiple high-res photos of the top of each Highrise. Images are stitched together manually to create a elevation scan with flattened perspective and enhanced lighting effects to accentuate depth and form.” The way in which these images are created lends them a slightly-odd flattened quality (I am fluctuating between describing them as ‘videogamey’ and ‘Wes Anderson-y’, but given I hate Wes Anderson let’s go with the former), but that’s part of the appeal here imho.
Reliable Robotics: To be clear, this links to the website of a robotics company – it may be a super-exciting robotics company, but it is very much a corporate website rather than a FUN DISTRACTION FROM MEATY HORROR. EXCEPT! The scroll animation features a genuinely-delightful graphical render of a plane, and features the near-perfect legend ‘scroll to activate take-off’, and I can’t tell you quite how much this apparently-unnecessary piece of graphical overengineering pleases me (and I hope it pleases you too). FLY, POINTLESS LITTLE CG PLANE!
Shed Of The Year: Many years ago, when this first launched and I was working for a company who did the PR for Amazon (yes, but those were simpler times when they were less evil, I promise) we launched an ill-feted attempt to get the ecommerce behemoth to sponsor this (look, they had just launched their gardenware vertical, it made sense at the time) – the fact that they basically laughed and rejected the concept out of hand is up there in the pantheon of my greatest career disappointments (other examples: not getting the job at The Sun when I was 20, the fact that I ever worked in PR in the first place), but I like to think that the company’s current reputational travails might have been somewhat eased had it been they rather than Cuprinol who badged the UK’s annual Shed of the Year contest. Anyway, click the link, marvel at the sheds and, if you’re a middle-aged man, feel quietly jealous of ‘The Fortress of Solitude’ (and all the rest tbf).
Soren’s Clever Design Gags: You’ve probably seen some bits of design sature doing the rounds online over the past few weeks – apps whose interfaces have been alterered slightly to make a point about how TERRIBLE they are, like LinkedIn adding an ‘opentowork’ button to acknowledge the fact that the only reason anyone engages with that horrible, soulless colosseum of misery is to climb another rung up the slick, viscera-greased pole of corporate success. Almost all of them will have been by this person, Soren (no surname supplied), who collects examples of his work on this website (you can sign up to get a new gag via email each day should you be so inclined).
The Shapes of Stories: Ok, now this is an interesting use of AI. One of the most-helpful ways of thinking about LLMs (and indeed the current crop of ‘AI’ tools) is less in terms of ‘this thing generates words’ or ‘this thing generates images’ and more in terms of ‘these tools let us develop links between different disparate things in ways that have never been attempted before’ – which is exactly what this experiment is doing. Taking a bunch of classic stories, the person behind the project (Superb Owl, whoever they may be) asked GPT to ascribe a numerical value to the emotional state of each character at various points in the story, which can then be graphed to create a visualisation of the emotional journey experienced by protagonists throughout the novel in question – which is both interesting from the point of view of narrative construction and the Vonneguttian idea of ‘story shapes’, and also from the perspective of ‘how The Machine can effectively do some really interesting quant/qual-mixing stuff’. The idea of taking this sort of approach and then adding an instruction to ‘and now translate this graphical representation of a story arc into a symphonic composition for bassoon’ really rather appeals to me – I am basically waiting for someone to create an entire, machine-imagined operetta based on the emotional beats of the entirety of Crossroads, so if any of you fancy knocking that out that would be great, thanks.
Tape Cassette Inserts: Who wouldn’t want a Flickr page which exists solely to catalogue all the different graphic design styles that were applied to the bits of paper and cardboard that you used to inexplicably get inside blank cassette tapes when you bought them? NO FCUKER, etc! Leaving aside anything else, I reckon you could probably make a reasonable line in passive income (sorry! sorry!) from setting up a company selling 80s-esque bedsheets in these sorts of colourways to the recently-divorced.
MouseTok: This is the TikTok account of one Martin Critchlow, whose feed consists exclusively of videos of his collection of fieldmice just sort of hanging about. In particular, Martin seems to focus on one particular mouse he has named ‘Mr Jingles’ – tragically, Mr Jingles recently lost his partner (“Mrs Jingles”, should you be curious), but both Martin and the mouse appear to be managing ok in her absence (although I challenge you to watch the tribute to Mrs Jingles on the feed and not tear up a bit). I am going to assume that this is entirely pure and sincere, and as such I wish nothing but the best to Martin, Mr Jingles and the rest of his nameless troupe of rodents.
Frog App: OH GOD NO MORE SOCIAL APPS EVER PLEASE GOD. Still, if YOU are in the market for a BRAND NEW video-first social app, but this time one that’s focused on FRIENDS and CREATIVITY (now where have you heard that before? Oh, yes, that’s right, everyfcukingwhere!) then you might be in the market to check out Frog, made by former LSE students and which aimed SO far outside my demographic that I can barely make sense of the website. You post ‘Sups’ apparently (yes, that sound you can hear is my jaw clicking in barely-concealed irritation), and there’s a nice gimmick in that anyone can continue any of their friends’ stories by creating ‘sequels’ which effectively follow on from the original content and which feels like a nice tool for all sorts of creative endeavours but, honestly, everyone featured on this website looks so young and fresh and full of life that it mostly made me want to just lie down and bleed into the floor until it all fades to white and mercifully just stops.
Permanent Beta: DON’T THINK JUST CLICK! Oh, ok, maybe think a *bit*, but generally I found this website was at its best when just approached with a sense of curious and open-minded wonder. If you have any professional interest in / intersection with the arts and digital then I think you will very much like this – or, at the very least, find it a though-0provoking exercise in digital practice/praxis (sorry). “[permanent beta] is an online platform that visualises the ongoing research of Fotomuseum Winterthur in the field of algorithmic and networked image cultures. As a platform meant to remain in a state of perpetual change, it tracks the research process, turning it into a creative and performative act in which knowledge around a specific thematic focus is collectively collected, (re-)arranged, edited and streamlined over time.” This will, I guarantee, only make marginally more sense when you click through, but I am fairly-certain you will like it.
PrisonGames: This is so interesting – Marcos Paz runs programmes in Argentine jails helping to teach inmates useful skills to help them gain employment in the games-and-games-adjacent industries after release, but also as a means of helping them express themselves through creative storytelling and ludic mechanics. This site collects some of the work that the people he’s taught have produced, seemingly all pieces of interactive fiction using Twine or similar – it’s in Spanish, as you’d expect, so you’ll need a bit of language, but these are poignant and, honestly, in parts heartbreaking short works of semi-autobiography.
Word Solitaire: This is a good game, but it is SO HARD that it has made me feel really quite thick and I am, to be honest, mainly sharing it with you all so that you can all feel stupid too.
Legend of the Red Dragon: The final miscellaneous link of the week is a proper throwback – remember BBSs? Oh, fcuk, you may not – erm, bulletin boards! Does that help? Erm, no, ok…just think of them as old, slow forums, basically, or, alternatively, just go away and Google all this and then come back when you’ve done your homework. Done? GREAT! Anyway, this is a wonderful and painstaking recreation of oldschool multiplayer RPG Red Dragon, whose Wikipedia entry describes it as follows: “The premise of LORD is that a red dragon is wreaking havoc in a town where the player has recently arrived. Multiple players compete over a period of weeks to advance their skills and to kill the dragon. In order to achieve this goal, players must face combat to gain experience. Once they have gained enough experience, they must face their master at Turgon’s Warrior Training and advance in skill level. Advancement increases the players fighting stats and gives an additional skill point in the current skill (up to 40). Advancement also presents stronger enemies and masters; a player must challenge and defeat master Turgon himself to reach level 12, the final level, before attempting to search for and slay the dragon.” Enter text commands! Meet other players! ENTER THE METAVERSE AS IT WAS IN 1984!!!!! Lol that is funny satire because aside from the bells and whistles that is basically what this is. A time capsule, a bit of history and a weird illustration of the whole general ‘plus ca change, plus reste la meme chose’ vibe of modernity right now.

By Claire Morgan

LET’S CLOSE OUT THE MUSIC THIS WEEK WITH THIS SELECTION OF FUNK AND DISCO AND ASSOCIATED OTHER BEATS AND PIECES, COLLATED BY MIDNIGHT MAGIC!

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

Fanzine Haemmorhage: Ok, fine, not *technically* a Tumblr but it’s a fabulously-named website and it feels like a Tumblr and, as per, MY SITE MY TAXONOMY FFS. Anyway, if you want a place where you can find a truly marvellous selection of old scans of fanzines alongside writings about the bands and scenes they describe, this will be PERFECT for you: “Fanzine Hemorrhage explores sub-underground music fanzines from the 1960s to the present, and attempts to explore the worlds they defined and in some cases created.” This is WONDERFUL (and reminded me that a few weeks ago I did a guided walk by Paul Talling (who runs this website and whose stuff I recommend unreservedly) which basically descended into him sharing increasingly snakebite-tinged reminiscences about “that time I put on Big Tomato Dave at Filthy McNasty’s” (that is basically a verbatim quote) and which is pretty much the same vibe as this site, all told).

False Knees: An ACTUAL TUMBLR! Also, I have for years seen images from here across the web and never known the source – if you’ve ever seen cartoons featuring beautifully-drawn and hyper-literate birds chatting about the travails of modern life then you may well recognise the work here.

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

Siegfried Und Joy: Yes, ok, fine, they ARE magicians, but they are FUN magicians! The subway exit magic will honestly NEVER get old to me.
Rob Strati: Smashed plates and surprisingly-good artworks.
Rupublicans: Republican grandees, reimagined by Midjourney as drag queen versions of themselves for SATIRICAL PURPOSES. On the one hand, a pretty lazy, one-note gag – on the other, some of these images are GREAT.
Project JDM: Combining maths, animation and music, this is so so so smart and so well made – I am slightly in awe. Thanks to whoever it was who sent this to me this week, whose identity I have totally failed to recall.
The Tube Map: Do you love the London Underground map? Would you like more of it on your Insta? GOOD WELL HERE IT IS THEN. Beautifully, this doesn’t appear to be affiliated with TFL in any way, which means that this is just someone who really loves the tube map a LOT. Thankyou, anonymous tube map fan!

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

Ian Hogarth on AI: Per an earlier comment, I KNOW YOU ARE ALL BORED OF AI I KNOW YOU ARE. Still, for the few remaining of you who can stomach another few thousand words on WHAT THIS ALL MEANS FOR US and WHERE IT IS GOING and ALL THE REASONS TO BE SCARED, this is a very good read by Ian Hogarth in the FT, which does a decent job of straddling the divide between ‘WE NEED TO BE FRIGHTENED OF THE ALL-KNOWING AUTONOMOUS MACHINE OVERLORDS WE MAY ONE DAY BIRTH!” and “WE NEED TO BE FRIGHTENED OF ALL THE WAYS IN WHICH THE HALF-FORMED VERSIONS OF AI WE HAVE ALREADY BIRTHED ARE MESSING WITH SYSTEMS WE ARE ALREADY ONLY BARELY-CAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING DUE TO THEIR MASSIVE COMPLEXITY!” – the upshot here is that Hogarth is…a bit frit, but in a reasonably-coherent and non-hysterical way, and after reading this maybe you will be too.

The Data Delusion: I thought this piece in the New Yorker was an excellent companion to the latest ‘wow, a lot of you really enjoyed this, didn’t you?’ article to do the rounds of the strategyandplanningsphere – the ‘Age of Average’ piece by Alex Murrell was shared by seemingly everyone in advermarketingpr circles with ‘strategy’ in their jobspec as a way of proving…well, whatever they wanted to prove, from what I can tell, but mainly that we need to be BOLDER and RISKIER because focusing on the middle of the bellcurve leads to work that’s homogenous and dull and uninspiring… Anyway, the New Yorker piece to which this is ACTUALLY a link to looks at a potential problem of the emergence of predictive AI models based on large corpuses of data – to whit, the likelihood that they will result in a clumping of output towards averages and predicted centres, exactly the sort of thing that Murrell was railing against. You know what the problem is? The problem is fcuking DATA and our fetishisation of it – but you’re not allowed to say that, seemingly, despite the fact that (and I firmly believe this) that (for example) making decisions based on a bunch of data scraped from Twitter is nearly-always going to produce work that is worse and less interesting and more stupid than just sitting and thinking for a bit.

GPT Is Getting Worse: Or, more accurately, OpenAI is getting better at locking it behind bars. This piece by Frank Lantz explores how in his experiments with the OpenAI stable of LLMs the software has become progressively less ‘imaginative’ with each update, and more fixed into a slightly-bland positivity in its responses. I can only echo this – Shardcore has kindly spent a bit of time seeing about introducing GPT to the Curios archive to see what happens, and it’s interesting to see that it is near-impossible to break the base model from its emptily-bromidic ‘Eddie from the Heart of Gold’ tone of voice and writing style, however much of my appallingly-convoluted prose you force down the machine’s digital gullet. The upshot, basically, is that I’m sadly stuck writing this for the foreseeable as I don’t seem to be able to outsource it to The Machine yet.

Making One Of Those AI Balenciaga Vids: Vox gives you a step-by-step guide on how to create you very own variant on the recent spate of ‘what if [INSERT FILM FRANCHISE X] directed by [INSERT VISUALLY STRIKING DIRECTOR Y] as a Balenciaga ad?’ vids – it’s both easier and slightly-harder than you might think, and the results look significantly less polished than the hugely-viral one’s you’ll have already seen on Insta/Twitter/TikTok…but they don’t look that bad, and given that teenagers have for the past two decades proved beyond any shadow of a doubt that they will consume any old crap under the guise of fanfic I think we can probably all agree that someone’s going to create a movie-length version of one of these by the end of the year (my money’s on a Potter-inspired story with a pro-trans twist, just for maximum culture war relevance) and it will comfortably do 10million+ views.

The AI Village: In many respects this is the most remarkable story of the week, I think. The link here takes you to an actual academic paper, but I promise you that it is properly readable and interesting, and if you have any interest in games or theatre or TV or general storytelling then you owe it to yourself to at least give this a go. The precis is basically that a bunch of researchers created a selection of ‘autonomous’ AI agents existing with a videogamelike closed sandbox (think a Stardew Valley-type gameworld), and then just…watched them. Each of the ‘agents’ in the simulation has its own wants and impeti, and these motivate them to act in specific ways, and the intersections of these interactions create emergent narratives…”Generative agents draw a wide variety of inferences about themselves, other agents, and their environment; they create daily plans that reflect their characteristics and experiences, act out those plans, react, and re-plan when appropriate; they respond when the end user changes their environment or commands them in natural language. For instance, generative agents turn off the stove when they see that their breakfast is burning, wait outside the bathroom if it is occupied, and stop to chat when they meet another agent they want to talk to. A society full of generative agents is marked by emergent social dynamics where new relationships are formed, information diffuses, and coordination arises across agents.” Anyone who’s been reading this for a while (and, er, who’s also been paying any attention to what I say, which I appreciate is probably not many of you) knows that I have long been obsessed with the idea of creating a modern version of Little Computer People using this sort of kit – this feels like an incredible well of potential just waiting to be tapped, and if you’ve spent any time marvelling at the sort of mad emergent storytelling gems that games like Dwarf Fortress or Skyrim throw up then this will tickle your interest significantly (oh, and if you’re curious, you can watch the how the experiment played out via this playback system).

Substack Hasn’t Thought About Content Moderation: Do you remember a couple of years ago when Substack was getting big and splashing the cash, and people started asking questions about the company’s policy on what it would and wouldn’t allow people to write about, and the company basically revealed itself to have not really given any proper consideration to issues of content moderation and responsibility? Do you imagine that in the intervening time between then and their announcement of the Twitter-like ‘Notes’ functionality on the platform this week someone senior at the company might have spent some time thinking about what they would do if they were in charge of a realtime short messaging network? Do you think they might also have briefed the CEO on lines to take on this thorny-but-incredibly-predictable line of questioning in their first media interview post the Notes announcement? OF COURSE NOT! This is a transcript of the interview between The Verge and Substack CEO Chris Best, and it really is worth reading the whole thing – if you’ve ever worked in comms, there will come a point about ⅓ of the way through where you start to see where this is going, and then a point about ⅔ of the way down the page where you will, if you’re anything like me, be literally be reading through your fingers while feeling genuinely sorry for the person whose job it is going to be managing the fallout of all this. Note to all CEOs – if someone asks you straight out whether it is ok for someone to use the thing you have made to be massively racist, THE RIGHT ANSWER IS ‘NO’.

Posters: I tend not to include much stuff on THE CRAFT OF ADVERMARKETINGPR in here, mainly because it bores me to tears and I tend to find that 99% of it is pointless, overwritten w4nk designed to add an air of profundity to a series of disciplines which really don’t warrant any such thing, but I will make an exception for this piece which extols the virtues of good copy on posters and, more importantly, gives you not only some excellent examples of said GOOD COPY but also some gentle, non-patronising explanations as to why said copy is good. This is a really good post by someone called Dave Dye – thanks, Dave Dye.

That’s My Tank On Fire: A typica;ly-superb piece by James Meek in the LRB, detailing his experience of watching the social media war play out on Telegram and elsewhere, and what it feels like when your experience and knowledge of a conflict is experienced entirely through visual memetic propaganda. So so so interesting, and will be particularly so to anyone who remembers the first Gulf War welll enough to also remember the Baudrillardian discussion around its status as ‘hyperreality’ and the role of the media in the constructed reality of the conflict. It’s also a great piece because it gives an impression of the increasing impossibility of achieving anything more than an intensely-impressionistic and altered view of events like this – any events? – from hereon in, which is only going to become more pronounced with every day that passes.

Interview With The Mercenary: This is quite a remarkable interview with quite a remarkable man (I use the word ‘remarkable’ in its literal, value-neautral sense here) – Simon Mann is…what is he? A relic of an England that doesn’t exist any more? A ‘soldier of fortune’? An old colonialist? Whatever you might call him, don’t call him a ‘mercenary’ – he doesn’t seem to like the term, and it struck me throughout this piece that Simon Mann is not someone you probably want to upset very much. If you’ve ever wondered what the life of an Eton-and-Sandhurst-educated former SAS officer who has attempted a coup in Equatorial Guinea, who worked with Mark Thatcher, who’s spent time in some…tasty-sounding jails and who appears to be entirely at peace with all this then, well, this will be right up your street. Equally, if you want to be rendered speechless with rage about the blithe attitude towards the lives and countries of others evidenced by this modern-day Haggard (this is how I imagine Mann would like to see himself, at least) then, well, this will also do the trick! Something for everyone!

Cruise Ship Invasion: I can’t help noticing that the latest ORGANISED FUN CONCEPT that Big Business is currently trying to flog to millennials and GenZs is cruises – you too will have seen the ads for Virgin’s nascent cruise ship business, promising SEXY YOUNG PEOPLE and NO CHILDREN – which made this piece, looking at the environmental impact of the cruise ship industry which tours Alaska from Seattle every year, feel partciularly timely. The short precis of this is ‘lol, you thought that this was OK for the planet? You rube! You absolute groundling! You know nothing!’, but the details are quite startling and the scrollytelling (sorry, but until someone comes up with a better word then that’s what we’re using) is pleasingly-done.

Being Colourblind Online: Friend of Curios Andy Baio (HI ANDY!) writes for The Verge about what it’s like for him using the web while colourblind – this is not only a really interesting piece, with some helpful graphics that show you exactly what a crappy experience navigating the vast majority of the web is for people with even minor visual impairments, but a useful reminder that accessible design is important and more necessary than we often imagine. It’s part of a wider series of articles all about the business of UI and the impact it has (and has had) on the way we use the web – “we explore the small design decisions that have had an outsize impact on our lives. From simple card game browser UIs to deliberately complicated video game setups, all-too-forgotten accessibility options for colorblindness to the curious incentive-driven histories of the shuffle and log out buttons, these stories delve into the ways that user interfaces have driven us forward, or failed, or found an entirely new way of living” – which is full of interesting pieces, whether or not you’re involved in the business of design (although, honestly, I think everyone is basically a BIT of a UI person these days, or ought to be).

Don’t Monetise Your Kids: Or, “hang on – given the fact that we’ve all decided, rightly, that sending kids to work in factories is not ok, why are we seemingly totally fine with their parents exploiting their image and occasionally their labour for the big big influencer bucks?” To which the answer is ‘we’re not are we?’, or at least I’d sort of hoped it was – still, if you’ve ever wanted to read an exhaustive piece about why it’s perhaps no ok to force your three year old to do sixteen takes of her eating breakfast until it looks appropriately ‘cute’ then FILL YOUR BOOTS!

Nonsensical Advertising Futures: This is genuinely a bit miserable and dystopian and chilling, but, also, depressingly smart. Commuters in New York City have reported seeing confusingly-nonsensical video ads on their subway digital billboards, featuring the sort of content you’d expect more from chef/magicians on Facebook making some sort of artery-destroying ‘here’s a block of cheese wrapped in 19lbs of ground steak!’ monstrosity. Curious as to why, this article investigates and discovers that it’s a basic attention hack to grab passers-by’s attention for a fraction of a second – turns out that this sort of ‘WTF’ish video really does make you look, and therefore makes people marginally more receptive to whatever REAL ad comes on next. This is 100% going to become a thing, isn’t it?

Clitoral Enlargement Surgery: Because I’ve featured a few posts here about weird trends in masculine body enhancement over the past few months and felt the need to even things up a bit. Is this a trend? I…I doubt it. Still, if you’ve ever wanted to read a deep-dive into the (largely dubious-sounding, if I’m honest) benefits of having one’s clitoris enlarged then this will, er, hit the spot – even if you’re not interested in the full article, can I please ask that you click through and scroll down til you find the photos of the person doing this surgery who looks EXACTLY as you would imagine a West Coast plastic surgeon specialising in clitoral enhancement treatments would look.

Real Life Dates With Imaginary Boys: I generally try and stay away from stories that are basically ‘lol Japan you so funny!’, not least because it feels a bit lazy and twodimensional (Web Curios? Lazy? Two-dimensional? HOW DARE YOU, etc), but on this occasion I will make an exception because, well, SO MUCH OF THIS IS MAD. I have no idea if this is an actual ‘trend’ or just something that a couple of people have done but which is going to be dressed up as a ‘thing’ regardles of its niche status, but let’s hope it’s the latter. The article describes how young Japanese are paying cosplayers to go on ‘dates’ with them in character as their favourite heroes from ganes or anime – so, rather than going to the trouble of interacting with a real person you can instead have an afternoon with someone who you are paying to assume the persona of a fictitious individual from a game or cartoon. Is…is that good? It doesn’t *feel* good. Still, the whole thing is agreeably mad-sounding, rendered all the moreso by the photos that pepper the piece in which everyone looks like a terrifying anime character because that is what phones make LITERALLY EVERYONE look like in Japan as far as I can tell.

Meet Dril: His first out-of-character interview and my overriding impression was…sadness, honesty. I can very much relate to the idea of being stuck inside a persona/system/process that is simultaneously a comforting snug and a terrifying prison, and of the horror of ‘being a webmong at 50+’ (for ‘webmong’ substitute ‘poster’, or other content-appropriate epithet of choice), but I think the thing that touched me most was the description of him attempting to make his ‘thing’ the right shape to fit other media and realising that actually it probably doesn’t really work anywhere else other than Twitter – there’s a proper, real outsider artist vibe to this which I find poignant in the extreme (oh, and it’s also worth taking note of the Patreon figure he’s drawing down – tHe CrEaToR eCoNoMy lol!).

Long Sentences Rule: This is, I think, the second essay in the space of a year to plough this particular furrow, and it;s proof positive (to my mind, at least) that the tyranny of Carver is FINALLY COMING TO AN END (I like Raymond Carver a lot, don’t get me wrong – or at least the version of him created by his editor – but I also find the idea that a sentence must not be longer than 10 words or so on punishment of death to be, well, fcuking stupid), and it’s a wonderful celebration of prose that is sinuous, serpentine, rich and lustrous and which is unashamed of its clauses and subclauses and parenthetical diversions. It should come as no surprise to anyone who’s read Web Curios that I am a firm believer in the long sentence – I am, however, self aware enough to admit that that is because I am a lazy and flabby writer of prose rather than because I have a unique and masterful style that deserves room to breathe (SO PLEASE DON’T FEEL THE NEED TO TELL ME).

Blurred Lines: Because I am not a music radio person, and because I don’t drive and so don’t often get exposed to commercial stations, I was perhaps the last person in the UK to hear Blurred Lines when it was big 10 years ago – I can’t have been the only person, though, who on first hearing it thought ‘man, this is going to get old REALLY QUICKLY’ and also ‘wow, this really is…very, very r4pey, isn’t it?’ (an aside – am I the only person who thought the lyrics to ‘Get Lucky’ were basically all about trying to stay awake long enough that the girl you are with gets drunk or tired enough to just give in and sleep with you?, and that Daft Punk rather got away with one there? No? Ok, fair enough). This is a great Pitchfork piece looking back at the song, the Summer that it characterised, the Robin Thicke ‘phenomenon’, and that odd period when Miley Cyrus was everywhere and American pop culture got really weird about race (again).

Suicidal Moments: NB – THIS PIECE IS ALL ABOUT WANTING TO KILL YOURSELF AND OCCASIONALLY TRYING BUT NOT QUITE MANAGING IT. So, er, caveat lector and all that jazz. Still, if that doesn’t put you off then I think this is a very good, very clear-eyed piece of writing about what it feels like when you want to kill yourself and how to maybe deal with said feeling when it occurs.

Out To Lunch: An immensely-enjoyable piece of writing, again from the LRB, by Paul Theroux, which simultaneously tells the general story of The Literary Lunch in swinging/seedy (delete per your perception) London of the 1970s and the very specific story of how he tried and failed to have an affair with an artist called Molly. Superbly-observed, unsentimental and perfectly-written, this is all the better for being pleasingly-honest about the author’s intentions and what a sh1t he was being – and, of course, for being about lunch and the eating thereof.

John Wick is So Tired: Finally this week, a poem about John Wick – I have never seen any of the films, but I don’t really think that matters. This is called John Wick Is So Tired and, honestly, I think this is beautiful and near-perfect, and I think you might too.

By Brecht Van Den Broucke

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

I think this is beautiful and I could watch it forever – one of the nicest use of LIDAR (I think) I’ve seen in ages, and a really gorgeous companion to the music as well. This is called ‘Given Again’ and it’s all by Jake Oleson.

This isn’t a video, just a song – but if you’ve not heard this, it’s worth a listen because it will make your jaw DROP. This is a track by an artist called Alltta, called Savages, and the Jay-Z vocal that you hear on this is entirely AI-generated. This is really, really amazing – not just because of the tech, but because it actually sounds GOOD.

This, though, is significantly less future-feeling; it’s just a great indiepop song by Beach Fossils, and it’s called ‘Dare Me’, and if you’re anything like me you will be humming it inside 45s.

I can’t pretend that I like this, but it’s certainly weirdly compelling and the video is, I concede, an awful lot of fun – musically though it makes me want to rip out my teeth, but I suppose that means that it’s doing its job (40+ blokes are probably not their target audience).

Finally this week, did you know that UK comedian and panelshow favourite James Acaster has pulled together a 40-person musical collective featuring, amongst others, Yoni Wolf of (my favourite band in the world) Why? Well you might have done but I certainly didn’t – how? Why? – until I found this track this week and thought I recognised the vocal and did some digging. Spoken word wonky pseudohiphop might not sound like it’s up to much, but, well, I love this sort of stuff immoderately. If anyone can possibly explain the Acaster link, though that would be great. OK I AM LATE I NEED TO RUN TO LUNCH I LOVE YOU BYE!

Webcurios 31/03/23

March 31, 2023

admin

Uncategorized No Comments

Opening
Misc 1
Misc 2
Tumblr
Long Reads
Video

Reading Time: 34 minutes

It’s Friday, it’s lunchtime, it’s practically the holidays and I just bought Arab Strap tickets – ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD!

It’s not, of course – everything’s a benighted mess and liable to get worse before it gets better or, more accurately, we all die! – but let’s pretend otherwise as we, the Web Curios family (incestuous, dysfunctional, sickly, genetically compromised), come together for a rare moment of collective joy and hope.

*PAUSES*

Wasn’t that nice? Eh? Oh.

Still, like I care – this is the last Web Curios before the traditional Paschal break, and I am very much looking forward to not paying any attention to A-fcuking-I and associated topics for two weeks (by the time I come back I expect you all to have been replaced with automata). I hope that you have a pleasant fortnight, and that those of you who celebrate the cruel and bloody execution of a poor carpenter who was JUST TRYING TO BE NICE TO EVERYONE FFS have a wonderful, chocolatey time.

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and here’s what crucifixion looks like if you’re curious.

By Steve Kim

WELCOME THE ARRIVAL OF WHAT MIGHT, IF YOU SQUINT, BE SPRING, WITH THIS PLEASINGLY-UPLIFTING SELECTION OF TUNES COMPILED BY TOM SPOONER!

THE SECTION WHICH WOULD LIKE TO TELL ANY OF YOU WHO WERE CONTEMPLATING GOING TO SEE ‘BERLUSCONI, THE MUSICAL’ IN LONDON AT THE MOMENT THAT YOU REALLY SHOULDN’T BOTHER, PT.1:

Create Real Magic: I don’t like to start a newsletter with a let-down, but I feel it important to warn you upfront that, unless your definition of ‘real magic’ encompasses ‘poor-quality branded imagery from a globally-notorious polluter and purveyor of carbonated sugarwaters’, you are probably not going to feel the SURPRISE AND DELIGHT that the title here might promise you. Have you been waiting anxiously for the first sighting of an AI-powered consumer activation in the wild (and have a more miserable concatenation of words ever been written by a human in the course of our species’ long and inglorious history?)? YES YOU HAVE! So, then, welcome to this GPT/DALL-E powered marketing campaign by Coca Cola, which brings together a couple of different AI toys (natural language inputs, text-based image manipulation) to enable users from around the world to remix the Coke visual brand back catalogue into new and exciting and MODERN visuals thanks to the POWER OF ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE! The gimmick here is that you get access to a whole host of old Coke graphic design materials which you can incorporate into your own, ‘collaborative with the machine’ canvas – so, for example, pick a cheery Coke santa and then get the AI to imagine the dystopian scene around him (“Santa laughing merrily and lifting a coke to his lips while the bombs rain around an irradiated London”, that sort of thing) – all the images will be assessed in some way, with the ‘best’ ones being used in Coke’s global marketing, billboards, etc. Which, to be clear, is EXACTLY the same mechanic brands have been using to get cheap/free work out of creatives since the advent of the internet – except in this case they can’t even claim to be offering ‘exposure’ to graphic designers! Oh, and good luck actually getting the site to work properly – you need to sign up, which process is unpleasant enough in itself, and once you do there appears to be a ⅓ chance that the site just won’t work, and then once you’re in the interface is poorly-explained, and a bit clunky, and just not that much fun to play with. What does this show? It shows fcuk all really, but if I were to try and draw conclusions it’s that adding a spurious ‘AI’ layer to what is a tired, hackneyed promotional mechanic doesn’t make said mechanic any less tired and hackneyed.

AdCreative AI: A few months ago I featured a site which purported to be a one-stop-shop for AI-generated creative work, but which in fact turned out to be a bait-and-switch to promote Wunderman or some other agency – this, though, is seemingly the real thing. “Generate conversion focused ad creatives and social media post creatives in a matter of seconds using Artificial Intelligence. Get better results while saving time”, burbles the site copy! “Simply tell our Artificial Intelligence your Target Audience, the platform you are creating the ads on, it will select the best tone and length for the platform while focusing on your target audience’s pain points.” This is priced VERY keenly – $77 a month for 50 ads a month, from what I can tell, though other tiers are available – and, look, while this isn’t going to produce anything other than the most baldly-functional of Insta/FB/etc ads, and whilst it’s not doing anything that you couldn’t do yourself by cobbling together a few AI services yourself for about half the monthly fee, and whilst I know none of YOU need this and none of YOU will feel the hot, heavy breath of The Future breathing down your professional necks, spare a moment to think of all the people in the Philippines and similar parts of the world who make their living with a Fiverr account and a Canva license and who are going to see things like this whittle their likely income from low-rent piecemeal digital work dwindle to not very much at all. Oh, and the data-cleaners too, per this article. Oh, and the journalists. I don’t mean to keep banging on about this, and I promise I will shut up about it soon, but I really don’t think anyone’s taking the coming jobpocalypse quite seriously enough (or maybe I’m just projecting my increasing unemployability, who knows?).

The Future of Customer Services: This is a link to a two-tweet thread, but I promise it’s worth the click if only to get a small window into the glorious future that is set to be AI-enabled customer service interfaces. Steve Guntrip was accidentally granted access to a trial being run by photo equipment shop DigistoreEU of a new GPT-powered customer service chatbot – as you will see from his screencaps of their interaction, it does not appear to be a significant upgrade on a human (although the amusing digression into obscene poetry and milkshake recipes was, if I’m honest, a pleasant surprise and the sort of thing I could maybe get behind next time I’m in an interminable menu deathloop on the phone to HMRC. Now, obviously this setup is a test, and wasn’t meant to be live, and is a VERY early days implementation of tech that is only going to get better…and yet, it doesn’t take a massive effort of will to conceive of a not-too-distant future in which all our interactions with the large corporations and cash-strapped public institutions that mandate our lives are managed by systems like this, and exactly how fun it will be when they go wrong but there’s no way of escaping from the horrible recursive AI-led conversation loop and there’s no killswitch to get straight to a human operator and so you’re just forced to listen to endless iterations of “I can’t help you with that, Dave” until whatever is ailing you finally becomes terminal.

A Small AI-Enabled Desk Pet: By way of antidote to the…less-than-sunny tone of the last few links, here’s something that looks genuinely fun and which feels like another window into a future that’s a bit more whimsical and ludic and playful. This Twitter user has cobbled together a bunch of different systems to effectively create a little holographic cartoon rabbit desktop companion (it’ll make sense when you click, promise) which she can interact with through voice commands and which is obviously running on some local LLM and it is, honestly, SO CUTE. I really think that someone somewhere is going to make a killing selling things like this – but, also, if you’ve read any contemporary scifi in the past few decades (or watched enough B***k M****r), that there will be some…interesting examples of them going rogue. Whilst I am well aware that there are a million-and-one brand safety and protection reasons that mean this could never happen, part of me rather likes the idea of a brand offering an open-source, downloadable AI-enabled version of their mascot that any hobbyist can use to create something like this.

FreedomGPT: Except, of course, what happens when someone creates a cute little holographic mascot thingy that sits on your desk and becomes your interactive gopher and characterful companion, but fits said cute little holographic mascot thingy with a jailbroken AI trained on horrible stuff? An AI like FreedomGPT, for example – which, in fairness, hasn’t been trained on more-or-less horrible stuff than any of the other more famous models but which instead has been tweaked so that it runs without any of the same guardrails. Want to ask it how to make bombs? It’ll tell you! Want it to give you tips on how to dispose of a dead body in such a way as to minimise detection in an urban environment? Got you covered! (An aside: to make this work properly you have to download it and run it locally – there’s a web interface, but it’s VERY SLOW). Amusingly (not hugely amusingly) this has been created as a promo by some moron VCs – WELL DONE GUYS YOU SO EDGY! To be clear, Web Curios neither endorses said VCs or any of the stuff that this bot tells you – I don’t, personally, think particular example is anything other than a silly stunt, but it’s an interesting indicator of all the fun things that are going to be coming our way in the coming months as people create their very own personalised machines – I have a slightly horrible feeling that we’re going to see a whole host of new Count Dankulas emerging, as a bunch of bedroom-based comedy edgelords compete to make their pet stochastic parrot say the worst things possible in the name of short-lived online notoriety.

Voicechess: I promise we’re going to stop with the AI stuff shortly (no really, we are!), but before we do, another example of a GENUINELY POSITIVE USE-CASE! This is a prototypical voice-controlled chess, which is being developed by world-leading online chess platform Lichess and which you can try out yourself RIGHT NOW – all the work here is, from what I can tell, being done by off-the-shelf kit (I think they’re using Whisper for the audiorecognition, for example, though I may of course be wildly wrong here), and as such it’s a brilliant example of a useful, helpful solution to a real-life problem. Click ‘play the computer’ (or, you know, play with ACTUAL FRIENDS should you be fortunate enough to have any), click the small microphone icon in the top-right, and glory in the fact that you can now scream commands at your machine and watch as your pieces follow your commands. Because of the aforementioned natural language stuff you can get away without knowing proper chess notation, and saying stuff like ‘rook takes pawn’ actually works (although it saddens me slightly that the model doesn’t extent to ‘horsey takes bish’ and doesn’t seem to understand or enjoy it when you call them ‘prawns’), and, honestly, I think a big high-quality floorscreen on which you could play Battlechess like this, seated on thrones at either end and barking commands into the sky like some sort of mad despot king, sounds rather fun.

Text-to-Game: Ok, this is basically just a video showing off demo technology, but I promise you that the interface on display, which seems to let you generate a navigable 3d environment from nothing but text prompts, is astonishing. Although when you stop to think about it and realise that this is going to end up being used to generate a hitherto-unimaginable quantity of CG bongo on demand it becomes…less magical, frankly.

The Newspeak House Residency: This feels like an opportune moment to mention that my friend Ed, who runs Newspeak House in London, is currently looking for new residents to join for a year and pursue research projects around technology, government and civil society. “Newspeak House is a hub for communities working to change society with technology, spanning all kinds of civic institutions, including government, politics, activism, charities, journalism, think-tanks, NGOs, philanthropy, and academia. To quote the website, “at the heart of Newspeak House is its residential programme, running since 2015. Seven residents spend a year immersed in these communities, enjoying the chance to meet thousands of people and attend events held on their doorstep. The programme is designed to support mid-career technologists gain a holistic understanding of the civic landscape in the UK, in order to found groundbreaking new projects or seek strategic positions in key institutions. It’s ideal for people who have been working professionally for several years and are now looking to grow their network and spend time reflecting deeply on how they can best have impact on the world.” If you’re in London, or thinking of coming here, and fit the above description, and can afford to spend a year learning and thinking about your work and practice, this sounds like a genuinely interesting opportunity.

The Undeniable Street View: This is a really smart piece of comms – The Undeniable Street View is a project by War Up Close, which is an organisation dedicated to taking panoramic views of Ukraine in the aftermath of the Russian invasion, to document the destruction being wrought on cities across the country in immersive detail, and which basically does the ‘before/after’ thing using a StreetView-style interface. You can select from various places across Ukraine, and in your browser navigate the streets of six different cities to see what they looked like before and after the war started. This is, obviously, heartbreaking, but it’s also an incredibly effective piece of comms – a combination of the first-person perspective and the familiarity of the StreetView interface make it genuinely affecting seeing the homes reduced to rubble and the potholed streets just 18 months apart.

Visit The Global SeedVault: Virtually, that is – I mean, obviously if you want to schlep to Svalbard and see it in person then more power to you but, well, it looks cold and remote and I’m not 100% sure exactly what you’d do there once you’d got past the majesty of the architecture and the wonder of all the, er, seeds. Perhaps it’s better that you just take this virtual tour instead, and spelunk inside the remarkable project – not least because, if you ask me, it would be near-impossible not to get quite a strong wave of claustrofuturefear walking those VERY THIN-seeming corridors under all that snow (I think it’s a fact of having played too many videogames of a certain type, but it’s very hard for me not to imagine a target reticule when I first-person stroll the corridors, for example). It really is quite wondrous, when you think about it, and this is a really nice way of learning a little bit more about the Vault and how it functions and all the amazing things that they have stored in there as a hedge against the point in the not-too-distant future at which we *really* fcuk everything up for good. Seriously though, if you’re claustrophobic and the idea of exploring lots of reasonably-tight corridors underground doesn’t wholly appeal then maybe don’t fullscreen this one.

Locals and Tourists: I rather love this – “In 2010, cartographer Erica Fischer made some simple and spectacular maps of images added to Flickr. She classified photos as either from “locals” or “tourists”, based on how far their profile location was from the photo’s geotag. These maps revealed fascinating psychogeographic patterns of urban exploration and photographic worthiness. Last summer, Dario Taraborelli suggested extending this to iNaturalist observations.” For those unaware (er, as I was til I looked it up just now), iNaturalist is a websitecommunityportalthing for people worldwide who are “naturalists, citizen scientists, and biologists built on the concept of mapping and sharing observations of biodiversity across the globe” – so basically people have given it loads of data about things that they have spotted in the wild, whilst at the same time also giving it data about themselves and where they are from. Which means, in turn, that the site is able to track which sightings of nature have been recorded by people who are local to an area, and those which have been made by people who are visiting from afar – which, in turn, means that it can offer a reasonable heuristic for tourist volumes around the world. Honestly, this is fascinating, in part to see where people go (obviously the data here skews hard towards, say, bird enthusiasts and badger botherers, but you can use it as a reasonable heuristic for general tourism imho) but also to find places to go if you’re a particular fan of arthropods or ‘herps’ (or, perhaps more usefully, should you be the sort of person who really really really prefers to avoid ‘herps’ wherever possible and wants to know where they hang out so that you can be as far away from them as possible).

BirdBuddy LIVE: I think I featured the BirdBiddy a few months ago – it’s an internet-connected bird feeder which you can set up to snap photos of the feathery little fcuks as they dine out on your dime. Now, those of us without a BirdBuddy can live vicariously through the experience of those who do thanks to this genuinely wonderful live feed of all the images being snapped of all the birds as they happen – click the link and marvel at the steady stream of lovely birds coming at you from across the world! At the time of writing it’s all slightly-underwhelming European varietals – why are there SO MANY tits? – but if you come back later in the day you can see some truly incredible flying fauna from the Americas which I promise you are mesmerising. This is genuinely heartwarming and great.

Keyprint: “If the internet were a country, it’d be the 7th most polluting. In the past 10 years alone, websites have grown 320% heavier. We studied the carbon footprint of the internet’s top 500 websites.” So speaks this site – unsurprisingly a marketing effort by a carbon analytics platform for websites, but one which is quite nicely-presented, and interesting in terms of how different the estimated outputs are from site to site and platform to platform. I am still waiting for someone to run the first big ‘WHAT IS THE AI REVOLUTION COSTING THE PLANET???’ server farm energy consumption scare story (it can only be a matter of days, surely?), but I was interested to see that, according to this, at least, the carbon footprint of the OpenAI domain at least is quite small – although that’s quite possibly because that doesn’t encompass the domain that they’re running public GPT on. Anyway, this is both interesting and aesthetically up my street, but see what you think.

Japanese Woodblock Print Search: Would you like a website that lets you search an archive of over 220,000 Japanese woodblock prints, either by keyword or by uploading pictures to find similar-looking prints? OF COURSE YOU WOULD! Aside from anything else, these are just beautiful and there’s something gorgeous about the way the site lets you see the changing an evolving styles of the artists through various eras of Japanese history (there are some really gorgeous pieces of design in the latter, post-1950s period in particular). Via the wonderful Nag, this one.

11ftPlus8: I think every town above a certain size anywhere in the world has a BusFcukingBridge – you know, a bridge that wasn’t quite tall enough to let a full doubledecker underneath it, or a proper articulated lorry, but was both visually deceptive and appallingly-signposted and which as such each year claimed the roof of at least one out-of-town vehicle which totally misjudged the clearance and ended up shearing a few feet of metal onto unsuspected nearby pedestrians. You, er, you all had one of these, right? OF COURSE YOU DID! Anyway, this is a YouTube channel featuring footage of just such a bridge (ahem, sorry, “Railway Trestle”) in Durham, North Carolina, and if you want to see a LOT of videos of large vehicles failing to quite understand that they are taller than a bridge and, as a result, coming something of a cropper, then FILL YOUR BOOTS. A spiritual cousin of the World Bollard Association Twitter feed, there is also an accompanying website which tells me that the person behind this content has been doing this for 15 years – a degree of utterly pointless dedication that I can’t help but admire and salute.

By Petrina Hicks

NEXT, ENJOY SOME TECH-HOUSE COURTESY OF THIS NEW MIX BY DON’T BLINK!

THE SECTION WHICH WOULD LIKE TO TELL ANY OF YOU WHO WERE CONTEMPLATING GOING TO SEE ‘BERLUSCONI, THE MUSICAL’ IN LONDON AT THE MOMENT THAT YOU REALLY SHOULDN’T BOTHER, PT.2:

RoboPianist: Yes, ok fine, it *is* more AI and I am sorry – BUT I PROMISE THIS IS FUN AND CUTE AND NOT SCARY! This, instead, is a rather amazing demo which accompanies a recent research paper into the development of articulated robotics; the link takes you to a bit of code that lets you watch a pair of machine-controlled virtual hands, complete with fully-articulated fingers, manipulate themselves into playing a virtual keyboard; the amazing thing here is that this is all being calculated in realtime, with the ‘fingers’ interacting with the ‘keyboard’ as though both existed in physical space, which is…slightly mind-boggling, if I’m honest. You can change the song you’re asking the machine to play, and even use your mouse to try and impede its progress – which feels mean, fine, but also allows you to see that, yes, this really is ‘working out how to ‘play’ the piano on the fly’ which, I repeat, is astonishing. I know that any sort of humanoid robot is a long way away, but the advances in articulation currently being achieved really are quite amazing.
Chia Earth: I can’t stress enough how much I am enjoying sites like this one at present. Chia Earth is…what is it? It’s an ASCII-ish series of small meditations on Being Online. It’s a small repository of links and thinking about a different type of internet; something small and crafted. It’s, almost certainly, a bit too twee. It’s part of a growing dialogue between digital makers and creatives about what a folk internet might look and feel and sound like, and how it might work, and what it might be for. I encourage you all to have a click and an explore and a think – you can find lots of interesting things through this if you dig enough, I promise.
Dial: You know that ever-so-slightly satisfying lockpicking minigame mechanic that you get in a certain flavour of videogame? Yes, well imagine that but significantly more inscrutable and online. As far as I can tell, this is a small lockbreaking toy which, should you manage to UNLOCK THE DIAL, will grant you an access code to shiny new alternative browser Arc – I can’t tell you whether or not this actually in fact works or whether it’s an incredibly cruel troll designed to keep new-browser-enthusiasts turning the dials for evermore as, honestly, I got bored after approximately 12 seconds, but those of you with more lockcracking nous (and, frankly, patience) than I might be able to get something moe out of this than I did.
Snack Memories: A Twitter account dedicated to sharing pictures of old snack foods which have since been discontinued – this is runout of the US and so obviously has a North American bias, but that’s not bad thing when you consider how famously-batsh1t food across the Atlantic often is. Kellog’s Toaster Pizzas! That weird time when fast food chain Denny’s offered up “Frodo’s Pot Roast Skillet (2012-2012): Part of the themed promotional menu for “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey,” this meal featured slow-cooked pot roast, roasted carrots, red potatoes, onions, celery, and mushrooms, topped with shredded cheddar, served in a skillet”! The honestly repellent-sounding Nabisco Hammies, which had possibly the best slogan ever and were: “Party crackers, with the “taste of baked ham”, as well as pineapple and cloves, pressed into the vague shape of a baked ham. The slogan? “Ham tasty!…Ham shapey!””” This is genuinely brilliant and will make your Twitter experience marginally better (whilst it simultaneously continues to get worse each and everyday thanks to That Fcuking Man).
The World Happiness Report: This made me slightly annoyed, if I’m honest, which frankly feels like something of an ironic slap in the face. Were you aware that there exists a World Happiness Report, ranking the world’s nations based on how happy they are, a quality inferred from a range of different statistical markers, each weighted to provide an overall per-capita happiness quantification? I mean, actually, now I come to think of it this *does* ring a vague bell, but the latest dataset has just been released and therefore it seems timely to link to the website accompanying it, which purports to let you explore the numbers and run country comparisons and all that sort of numberwrangling fun. You may or may not be unsurprised to know that Finland ranks top of the list (I’ll be honest with you here – the Finns I have met have not, in my experience at least, struck me as particularly full of joie de vivre, but perhaps that’s just how they react to me), with Israel. The Netherlands, Switzerland and New Zealand making up the rest of the top-10 (the UK, should you be interested, is in 27th place, which feels both…surprisingly high, and also a real indictment of all the countries below us) and Afghanistan propping up the table (you can imagine the Taliban being pretty gutted) – this SHOULD be the point where I tell you how much fun it is to explore the data and delve into the reasons why certain countries do so well, how the list changes when you look at different indicators…but I can’t say that, because the website is a fcuking broken horrorshow and the ‘data exploration’ bit is almost comically non-functional (in Chrome, at least), and…it’s just such a shame, to be honest, because this is the sort of thing which could be genuinely useful for all sorts of planning and research purposes but which is rendered entirely pointless as a result of some really crap webwork. Amusingly this is sponsored by both Walls and Unilever, who you’d think might be a bit irked at how poorly their sponcash had been spunked but who, I suspect, just signed off some monies and forgot all about why.
Collected: This is a nice idea – collected is a site which each time you visit presents 8 different examples of good homepage/landing page design. That’s it. Each visit you get a different shuffle of the 2000+ examples it’s got in its database, meaning it’s unlikely you’ll see too much repetition unless you get REALLY obsessional, and there are some really nice bits of work in here – well done Jonas Pelzer whose work this apparently is.
What Do People Wear In Paris?: Should anyone reading this actually know me in real life, I imagine you are sniggering slightly at the idea of me including a fashion channel thing. “But Matt!”, people who know me would probably say at this juncture, “You have worn literally exactly the same clothes for approximately three decades and they hang on you like a ‘comedy’ outfit on a lab skeleton! What do you know or care of the stylish people of the world’s most fashionable city?” To which I would probably respond “ffs must you always kick me? MUST YOU!”, but also “look, just because I dress like a blind tramp doesn’t mean that I can’t appreciate the style of other people”, and “the thing about this video series is that not only are there some pretty interesting outfits on display (if you like that sort of thing), but there’s also something really quite nice about the way in which the person filming asks questions about the lives and hopes and wants of the featured fashionistas beyond the cut of their cloth; it feels human and…nice, for want of a better word, and I found myself watching more of these than I ever expected to. Oddly enough it reminded me a bit of the OLD SCHOOL days of the Sartoralist and similar, which gave me a pleasing nostalgia-kick and reminded me of a time when someone I know was featured in it and referred to as a ‘Grup’ which I still have no fcuking clue as to the meaning of.
Gomps: Ok, so this is QUITE technical and game development-y, but given I have no idea who any of you are and what any of you do or are interested in I suppose there’s the vanishing outside possibility that for one of you this will be aTRANSFORMATIVE piece of software. Gomps is a tool which basically lets you add multiplayer to any game built on the Unity engine – or at least very basic multiplayer features, specifically “See other players ghosts around you in real time, and leave notes throughout the game worlds for other players to read.“ Which, generally, I am a huge fan of as a mechanic – I really like the Souls-esque idea of asynchronous interplayer communications (PSEUD!) and would happily see it applied as a layer to basically every communal online experience (I still remember those nascent attempts to create a universal annotation layer over the web in the early-10s – a terrible idea, but one with SO MUCH comedic potential) – and the fact that this basically lets you do this with ANY game in your Steam library,adding a slightly social element to games that didn’t previously have them, strikes me as not only technically amazing but also a pretty cool way of exploring some emergent gameplay ideas.
Splace: Seeing as we’re doing games, Splace is an interesting idea which is simultaneously very different from the last link and also very vaguely related – the idea of the app is that it effectively (and I appreciate I am probably simplifying the concept in ways the devs won’t necessarily enjoy so, er, sorry!) creates communities around individual games, with each title featured having its own map onto which users can add annotations, gameplay clips, tips and tricks, Easter Eggs, etc, with the idea that eventually there will be a ‘Splace’ for every single title within which its fans will be able to interact and chat and all that sort of jazz. Which, effectively, is a forum with bells and whistles, and I don’t know whether or not there’s enough here to hook people in – but, at the same time, I can see how a map-based interface collecting content relating to specific in-game locations and instances could be useful. Although, of course, it could just end up being flooded with content from moronic children – WHO KNOWS? God it’s exciting being online, isn’t it?
MonkeyType: Look, I know that ‘learning to type better’ is noone’s idea of fun (unless you’re Mavis Beacon) but, honestly, now that we’re rapidly coming to the fag-end of the period in which ‘being marginally better at Google than your peers’ is considered any sort of competitive advantage whatsoever (I am so scared) you might want to start enhancing some of your other skills – and given we’re apparently all going to spend much of our remaining future years typing instructions to machines (until it all goes voice recognition and our fingers atrophy as our stomachs swell) you may as well take this opportunity to steal a march on your fellow prompt engineers (lol!) and learn how to communicate with The Machine marginally faster than they can. MonkeyType is a genuinely decent typing trainer, with a nice minimal style and a bunch of different training exercises that you can do to improve your performance. Look, you and I both know that this is a Cnut-like (the king, not the bowdlerised swear) attempt to stave off the inevitable obsolescence of the white collar office drone but, well, it’s worth a try, eh?
The Blue Car: The TikTok account of a remote control car, or rather its owner – the car is used to run errands and do favours for people, and whilst you might not think that you would be amused and entertained by dashcam footage from a small RC vehicle going to the shops with a $10 bill and returning with some groceries let me assure you that you are wrong and that this is the most charming four-wheeled content you will see all day.
Zigazoo: As the largely-confected fury about TikTok continues to swirl – gyac, everyone, if you’re worried about nefarious datacollection by bad actors then a) lol! Too late!; and b) have you checked how secure your router is?; and c) what about all the OTHER apps ffs?! – so a youth-focused competitor is making its move. Zigazoo is basically ‘TikTok for kids and with more guardrails built in’ (you will, doubtless, be heartened to learn that the platform’s ‘mission’ is to “bring out the best in humankind, build genuine connections, and cultivate a better society through positive, authentic social media built on ethical algorithms. At the largest of scales. For all”, which is nice), which promotes POSITIVITY and doesn’t allow text comments or messaging to supposedly keep it safe and clean, and the content is supposedly vetted to make sure it’s ‘positive-only’ – which, honestly, sounds MISERABLE, can you imagine a social feed filled with nothing but teenagers talking about how happy they are? Still, if you want to give a child in your life yet another reason to spend the majority of their waking hours staring slack-jawed and swiping into the eye of their portable, infinite Wunderkammer then GO FOR IT!
Roast Me Greta: To be clear – I don’t find this clever or funny, but I do think it’s quite remarkable that someone’s been able to spin up this site which lets you click on a picture of Greta Thunberg and have a voice read out some words in her voice about what an ar$ehole you are for not doing enough to save the planet. This feels like it was created by a 14 year old – and it’s sort of amazing that it’s possible, and that the faux-Thunberg sounds as convincing as it does.
Welcome Dream: I don’t really want to tell you anything about this. Click, explore, read, and fall down the rabbitholes of this seemingly-simple but VERY twisty and surprisingly rich little indieweb project, where every hyperlink takes you to a new fragment of…fiction? Dream? Parable? Thesis? Manifesto? I honestly couldn’t tell you, but I really really really like this. It makes me want to misuse the adjective ‘Borgesian’, which is pretty much the highest praise I can bestow.
Sequoia Health: This made me laugh a LOT. Sequoia is apparently a ‘men’s sexual health’ app – exactly what it does is unclear, but apparently it will allow you to “Track, analyze, and improve your intimate health by executing an individually created training program developed by sexual sphere medical experts.” Yes, that’s right, SEXUAL SPHERE MEDICAL EXPERTS! There are tests you can do – beautifully, the screenshot accompanying the ‘tests’ section of the site shows the app giving a reassuring diagnosis of ‘you seem to have a healthy erection’, but HOW DOES IT KNOW?!? – and exercises it can walk you through, and a degree of what I presume is performance tracking, and, best of all, a KNOWLEDGE CENTRE featuring helpful articles and useful content, where the example they have chosen to feature is a piece headlines “Tight underwear and its impact on men’s health”. SIGN ME UP! Should you feel that this is a product you need in your life, be aware that you will need to subscribe and pay a monthly fee – but you can’t put a price on sexual health, right? RIGHT! Reassuringly the site also features a bunch of testimonials, so you can rest easy knowing that the app was awarded “Alpha Starup at Web Summit”, and is a “Partner of the Unition Nations Population Fund” and was also named as an “Impact Starup at Web Summit” (all sic), which I imagine means you’ll all be rushing to exchange your hard-earned pennies for some d1ck-diagnostics. I am sure all the 5-star reviews on the app store are DEFINITELY LEGIT.
The Journey Planner Challenge: SO GOOD, or at least it is if you’re either a Londoner or the sort of transport nerd who knows the tube map by heart despite not being one – The Journey Planner Challenge offers you five tube stations, and you have to put them in the order that lets you travel between them in the shortest time. I promise you that this is more fun than it sounds, and EVEN BETTER it can be used as an utterly spurious “I am more London than you are” badge of honour with your girlfriend who always makes fun of you for having grown up in Swindon even though you were born in London and are DEFINITELY a Londoner whatever she thinks (what? Projecting? No).
Dance Music WTF: The videos section of Curios is always hardest for me to write, mainly as I find attempting to describe music in prose almost impossibly difficult (or, more accurately, impossibly difficult to do without it reading really, really badly) – in part because I simply don’t really get genre minutiae and the like. Which, if this quiz is anything to go by, is because genre minutiae is absolute bunkum and means NOTHING – here the challenge is to listen to a piece of dance music and identify from a short clip whether the track in question is (for example, hardstep or gabber or nu-hardcore or technotrepanning – one of these may be of my own invention). It is in part VERY HARD, but more than that it’s genuinely amusing to finally find out what “Chemical Breaks” are meant to sound like. This feels both like something to waste time with at work and something which you could legitimately lose a whole afterparty to circa 5am.

By Useless Arm

THE FINAL MIX OF THIS WEEK’S CURIOS COMES FROM THE CHARMINGLY-NAMED SUPER YAMBA BAND AND COMBINES FUNK AND AFROBEAT AND LATIN STUFF AND IS GENERALLY A VERY GOOD TIME INDEED!

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS IS EMPTY AGAIN!

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

Slappy The Little Green Frog: It’s a small green frog, on Insta! From what I can tell there’s noone in the comments of any of these pics screaming “THAT BEHAVIOUR IS A CLEAR SIGN OF AMPHIBIAN DISTRESS”, so I feel reasonably-safe in recommending this to you.
Charlie Engman: I’ll be honest – I don’t really know what’s going on here, or why Engman makes images like this (unsettling ones, mainly, mixing media and human/AI created works in the feed to dizzying effect), but I very much like the style here.

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

The Open AI letter: You will, of course, have heard ALL about this this week if you’ve paid any attention to the news (and can I just say that I am really not enjoying all the airspace being given to people who know literally nothing about any of this stuff to opine on THE DANGERS (OR BENEFITS) OF AI – I am looking specifically at ‘lazy person’s go-to intellectual Yuval Noah Harari, whose interview scaremongering about AGI on Radio4 this week practically had steam coming out of my ears, so unhelpful and unanchored in practical reality was it), but if you’ve not read it then it’s worth taking a look at the actual document to see what Gary Marcus, Elon Musk et al have actually signed and what exactly they are calling for when they ask for a ‘pause’ on the development of post-GPT4 iterations of LLMs. There are LOTS OF OPINIONS about this everywhere, and, honestly, you don’t really need to hear mine beyond my general feeling that LOL ONCE AGAIN WE WORRY AT THE BOLTS OF THE GATE AND THE OILING OF THE HINGES WHILE THE HORSE CAVORTS HAPPILY IN DISTANT MEADOWS, but, should you be interested in a counterargument, this piece does a reasonable job of articulating one or two objection to the position outlined in the letter (mainly: that the dangers are already here and that worrying about ‘the future’ rather neglects to pay attention to the present; and that we might want to think a bit harder about all the things that are going to happen as a result of the fact that the current iteration of this tech is already here and already in the wild). I agree that this stuff needs more thought, and that it needs regulating, and that ploughing headlong into implementing untested technologies whose impacts we don’t necessarily understand is A Bad And Silly Thing To Do – but, look, that’s already happened, so can we maybe instead focus more energy on thinking about what some sort of universal regulatory framework might look like, and how one might go about creating enforceable standards, and all that really boring stuff that actually matters (on which point, if you’re interested in this then it’s worth reading the UK government’s consultation paper on AI which was published this week – it’s quite wooly to be honest, and there’s an awful lot of handwavey ‘the regulators will sort this out’ chat which will be…amusing to anyone familiar with the effectiveness of Ofcom and the rest, but it’s a useful example of how state actors are currently thinking about AI and its implementation).

AI Calluses: I’ve not touched on PuffaPope in here because it’s been discussed ad nauseam elsewhere (although, briefly – the genius of the image imho was that its plausibility lay in the fact that it acknowledged that as an adopted Italian it is OBVIOUS that the Pope would totally rock an outsize Moncler), but it feels like a bit of a rubicon in terms of the AI pollution of the information wellstream; this piece by Dave Karpf isn’t about the Pope, but does touch on similar territory. In it, he writes about being questioned by a student about a particular paper he’d previously written – except, when he went back to check his records, he realised that he had never in fact written the work that the student was citing, because it had been made up by GPT as part of its answer to one of the student’s question. Karpf frames this as the start of the introduction of a new layer of social/digital friction, whereby we are all just going to have to get used to the necessity of an extra layer of factchecking in all of ouf digital interactions from hereon in – because, honestly, you really can’t take ANYTHING at face value anymore.

Fake History: A thematically-adjacent piece in VICE, this article looks at the boom in people using the latest version of Midjoiurney to imagine alternate moments in history; now that anyone can ask The Machine to generate a near-photorealistic depiction of, say, ‘The Great London Frog Rain of 1911’, what do we do about the danger that these false narratives and made-up events get eaten and chewed abnd digested by culture and believed? This follows neatly on from that essay a few weeks’ back about the importance of photography as reportage, and the danger of what happens when we cease to be able to take ‘photojournalism’ at face value – look, I am a desperately cynical person who believes the worst of everything and everyone (it’s a fun time, being me!) and even I am preemptively-exhausted at the idea that everything has to be questioned. Does anyone want to have a meaningful conversation about the renewed importance of teaching critical thinking at a young age? Eh? Oh.

The AI Election: I’ve worked in and around politics and campaigning enough to recall three separate instances where we were told we were experiencing “THE FIRST SOCIAL MEDIA ELECTION” – we can look forward to the (already horrifying) prospect of the US Presidentials in 2024 being dubbed “THE FIRST AI ELECTION”, and, yes, that’s likely to be exactly as fun as you can imagine. This is a NYT piece which takes a relatively sober view of all the ways in which the current crop of AI tools (which, let’s all remember, will have been surpassed in ways we can’t quite conceive of by the time the States gets to the business end of the whole sorry saga in 15m time) might be used as part of the campaigning process by lobbyists and marketing campaigns, from automated targeted emails to the more sinister end of the spectrum (faked audio used in hypertargeted attack ad campaigns, to name but one example). Again, the sort of thing that makes you realise that worrying about ‘the future’ of this stuff is probably less helpful than worrying about its very real present.

AI and the American Smile: A really interesting article which makes the smart observation that all the ‘selfie’ style of AI-generated photography (which leads to stuff like “A selfie of roman centurions outside the colosseum”, say, or “A selfie of hitler and the lads in the bunker”) has been trained on a corpus of images which is largely North American or European, and which come from cultures where the role of the smile in interpersonal relations is specific and distinct from the way in which people present in, for example, Slavic or Middle Eastern cultures. Which, fine, is a small thing, but once again it links to the ways in which we are (sorry for the hyperbole, but) rather polluting the truthwell with this stuff in ways whose impact we really won’t understand for ages.

Bots Write Jokes: A little post by Rob Manuel explaining how he used GPT to write jokes about humans from the point of view of robots – I always enjoy people explaing their working, and this is a nice, short post which talks you through how Rob got the prompts to work and which is a useful set of guiding principles for your own interactions with this sort of software. Also, as Rob points out, “it’s more fun to play with this technology than it is to sit on the sidelines worrying that everything is fcuked. Have fun, life is short etc” – which, obviously, isn’t advice that I personally take but which I heartily advise YOU to.

The Substack Question: You may have noticed this week that a bunch of Substack writers sent out posts telling you how excited they were to be, er, investing in Substack. Presuming that you didn’t read those – because, honestly, why do I fcuking care that you’re investing in the platform you publish on, you weirdo? What do you expect me to do ffs, clap? – you might be interested in this article in The Verge in which Elizabeth Lopatto looks at the underlying economics behind this push and what it tells you about Substack’s revenue and its overall business. Ok, fine, this isn’t super-compelling (though I personally enjoyed the tone), but it’s a really good piece for anyone interested in the economics of tHe CrEaToR eCoNoMy et al.

Fortnite and the Metaverse: LOL THE ‘M’ WORD LOL! Do you remember last year when all those people were trying to sell you b2b metaverse solutions? WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE (and, er, while we’re here, I’d probably hold off on buying any b2b AI solutions from those selfsame people who have seemingly all pivoted hard in the past 12 months)! Still, despite ‘the metaverse’ continuing to be at best a nebulous and poorly-defined concept whose closest actual definition might as well be ‘videogames’, there is still a significant degree of interest in the idea of interoperability between virtual spaces, and a significant number of people socialise in embodied virtual space every day – and this interview with Epic Games CEO Tim Sweeney (Epic’s the company behind Fortnite), in which he talks about the platform’s recent moves to share revenue with users who create games and experiences on it and the way in which he envisages these digital spaces evolving, is genuinely exciting and made me once again think that there’s something in this space which could develop into something really interesting as soon as Zuckerberg fcuks off and leaves it alone. BONUS VIDEOGAMEMETAVERSE CONTENT: this is an interesting look at how Roblox (the only other company with a realistic claim to be doing anything meaningful in this space right now) is integrating generative AI into its creative tools for players and developers.

Care Robots: A New York Times article looking at Italy’s care crisis and nascent plans to try and introduce robotic assistants to the care sector in a bid it alleviate the burden on families and careworkers from Italy’s ageing (and, honestly, seemingly never-dying – NOBODY NEEDS TO LIVE THAT LONG, ITALIANS! TAPPING OUT IN YOUR 80s IS LITERALLY FINE!) population. As someone with first-hand recent experience of caring for both a geriatric invalid and a terminally ill person in Rome, I can testify to the fact that there is no way that the Italian care system is equipped to cope with another decade or two of growing numbers of old people whose families can no longer afford to take care of them at home and where the illegal foreign labour they’re relied on is being chased out of the country by a racist government, Bring on the robots, basically.

Bicycle: The latest in Bartosz Ciechanowski’s ongoing series of interactive explainers, this is a genuinely brilliant (long) read explaining exactly how a bicycle works – honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone who is so GOOD at explaining hard concepts using small interactive examples, and I say this as someone who not only can’t draw a functioning bicycle but who is so bad at physics and mechanics that they couldn’t even explain to you WHY their ham-fisted attempted drawing of a velocipede wouldn’t in fact work in real life. This is superb, and I really hope that Mr Ciechanowski parlays all the attention that his work is getting him into some suitable work or remuneration because he really is world-class at this.

Ghost Ships: I concede that you might not automatically think that reading several thousand words about the potential automation of the global shipping trade is a good way to spend ten minutes of your life – and, you know what, maybe you’re right. Still, I promise you that this is LOADS more interesting than it has any right to be, and asks really interesting questions about what the potential impact of a near-faultless realtime vision of all of the shipping data, wrangled by AI to optimise cargo and routes and associated things like prices and supply and advertising, might be. Honestly, this is one of those articles that starts relatively small but which by the end has you reeling at the complex interconnectedness of everything in modernity (or at least it does if you’re a dullard like me).

Dumb Turning Points in History: Ok, fine, this isn’t an article so much as a list of Tweets, but some of these are SO GOOD. My personal favourites in the canon of this sort of thing are: a) the fall of the Berlin Wall happening when it did because the guy doing the press conference hadn’t been given a proper Q&A briefing, and as such when the first question from the press was the inevitable “so, what’s the timescale for the unification of East and West Berlin, then?” the spokesperson floundered and just sort of said “Er, now?”, at which point history started happening; and b) the fact that Macau was owned by the Portuguese for 400+ years as a result of them being the principle traders of ambergris in the 16thC, and ambergris at the time being a favoured aphrodisiac used in the preparation of tonics for male, er, ‘vigour’, and the Chinese emperor of the age having one or two problems enjoying the 100 virgins he’d been gifted by some potentate or another, and as such the Chinese swapping an entire island colony for balene Viagra because their head of state was an impotent, middle-aged man (this anecdote, by the way, from Lucy Inglis’ fantastic book about the history of opium).

Visiting 90sCon: Rolling Stone takes a trip to a 90s convention, where fans of all things, er, 90s, can queue up to see panels featuring former members of N*Sync (have I punctuated that correctly?), or to spend $50 to get Shannen Doherty’s autograph (one the one hand, if someone offered me $50 for my signature I would bite their fcuking hand off – please contact me via the usual channels should you be in the market for some genuine Muir scrawl!; on the other, I don’t think I can begin to imagine the weirdness of the experience of sitting for an hour while people file past you watching you write your own name) – this is a gentle read that will give you some not-insignificant nostalgia flashbacks if you’re anywhere near as Methuselan as I am.

Azealia Banks: It’s something of a shame that the artist responsible for one of the most jaw-dropping breakthrough singles of the century so far – it still bangs – has become better known for being a, ahem, ‘loose canon’ than for their music; still, this profile of Banks in Dazed seeks to present her in a slightly more music-and-art-first light than has been the case in recent years, and does a pretty good job of explaining (if not necessarily justifying) some of her more…extra moves. There are some good points in here, not least the perceived difference in treatment between Banks and Tyler the Creator and other (male) artists who’ve said/done one or two…controversial things over the years but who seemed to have been rehabilitated just fine thankyouverymuchindeed, but personally I feel the article feels a bit too much like it was proofed by Banks herself to ensure the requisite degree of ‘godlike genius hagiography’ which is sprinkled (to my mind unwarrantedly) throughout. See what you think – if nothing else, it’s an interesting read.

Brandon Sanderson: I hadn’t heard of Brandon Sanderson before reading this article – or rather, I probably had done at some point, but only in a very abstract way (“This obscure fantasy author is THE most successful crowdfunder ever” sort of thing) – and, unless your a fan of a particular brand of epic fantasy novel, it’s unlikely you will have done either. Despite his lack of fame, though, Sanderson is a notable writer, in terms of the prolific quality of his output (seriously, we’re talking MILLIONS of words here – from one logorrhoeic to another, I salute you Brandon) and the devotion said work inspires in fans worldwide. Which combination of lucrative-but-niche fame and relative obscurity (and his Mormonism, which journalists will never cease to enjoy writing about) probably led WIRED to run this interview, in which one Jason Kehe goes and hangs out with Sanderson and his family and…and…well, is just spectacularly fcuking mean about the man, to be honest, criticising his writing and his personality and his fans and the genre he writes in and his ideas and, honestly, this is SUCH an incredible and weird hatchet job (which, at the same time, is also a readable article, which makes it…worse, somehow) which is made all the more stark by the INSANELY gracious response Sanderson went and posted on Reddit and which made me think that however awful his novels might be, the man himself is probably quite a nice guy (please, noone milkshake duck him quite yet).

The Story of a Picture: A wonderful essay, this, from the Economist, looking at a truly iconic (sorry) photograph from pre-war Britain which depicted (or so viewers were led to believe) the class extremes that bookended the nation. ‘Toffs and Toughs’, as the picture came to be colloquially known, showed a bunch of Etonian boys in one half of the pic contrasted with a bunch of ‘street urchins’ on the other side, and became something of a recurring theme whenever anyone wanted to illustrate the English class divide. Except, well, the actual story behind the picture isn’t quite that simple. This is SO interesting, and a sort of object-lesson in sources and authenticity and fact-checking and how stories are more powerful and the truth, and, weirdly, it’s an excellent companion to those articles at the top of this section about AI and imagery and authenticity.

How Not To Dig Your Own Grave: Claire O’Brien writes about death and the business of death, about her experience working with dead bodies and what you learn about yourself and other people when you’re hanging out with cadevers on the reg.

Doggerland: Finally this week, an excellent piece of short fiction by Kaliane Bradley which this week was announced as the winner of the VS Pritchett Short Story Prize. This is GREAT – funny and sinister and atmospheric and classical and modern, and it contains some truly wonderful lines, and it’s an excellent piece to lose yourself in of an afternoon.

By Alex Schaefer

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

Another one of those great animation compilations to start with – this time 100 animators’ interpretations of a render challenge asking them to depict driving. You’d think that watching 9 minutes of animated cars would be…too much, but honestly the variety of styles and environments rendered here make this a joy.

I haven’t featured Danny Brown on here for YEARS – possibly since he got his teeth done, in fact – but he’s back with a new project with JPEGMAFIA which is enjoyably glitchy and shouty and bouncy and manic. This track’s called Lean Beef Patty, for reasons which may make sense to them but escape me entirely.

I LOVE THIS VIDEO! The track’s good too – I keep wanting to write the word ‘kinetic’, but I have no idea how helpful that would be as a descriptor – but it’s the video I really adore here; it reminds me of a sort of modern urban version of the sort of thing you might have seen on Sesame Street in the 70s, and I could watch it ENDLESSLY. The track’s called ‘Hold On’ and it’s by Pascal Nuzzo.

This is by Piglet, it’s called ‘building site outside’ and it’s a lovely, fragile little song which is gently beautiful and which is complemented by the (genuinely creatively brilliant) video in which everyone seems to be having a lot of fun.

Two minutes of jaunty nihilism now courtesy of AJJ Band and their song ‘Death Machine’, which will have you nodding along as you try and ignore the horrible lyrics. My girlfriend pointed out that this sounds very much like the themetune to a great forgotten 90s TV show and she is totally right.

Finally this week, a perfect song to send you off for Easter. Someone on Twitter described this as the unofficial gay anthem for Eurovision and, honestly, I quite like that idea. The Northern Boys return with ‘Give It To Me’ and it is EVERYTHING – look, I know that this is contrived and basically designed to appeal to people like me who are basically Nathan Barley but old and ugly but, also, this is ACTUALLY QUITE GOOD. Anyway, I LOVE YOU AND SO DOES JESUS HAPPY CHOCOLATE AND CRUCIFIXION SEASON TO YOU ALL BYE!

Webcurios 24/03/23

March 24, 2023

admin

Uncategorized No Comments

Opening
Misc 1
Misc 2
Tumblr
Long Reads
Video

Reading Time: 34 minutes

Hello! Hi! How are you?

I am TIRED (you didn’t ask, but seeing as you’re here…) having done a 60h round trip to Italy which involved signing documents in 87 separate places (I counted, and this is not an exaggeration) to the point where the final signature looked nothing like the initial one and my hand was basically just a slightly-deadened lump of meat at the end of my arm, but, generally, feeling reasonably positive. The sun’s out! I submitted a quote for some work so risibly overpriced that if they buy it I will literally laugh out loud! ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD!

Ahem. It’s not, of course, but let’s for a few short hours just pretend. Take my hand as I lead you now through the cracked glass and syringescape of reality, through the looking glass and into the BLISSFUL UTOPIA OF THE WEB, where everything really is perfect and if you don’t see that then the problem is almost certainly with you and you alone.

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and you should probably be aware that the long reads section at the end contains at least 5 genuinely superb pieces this week, so if you only read one section then please make it that one (NO COME BACK READ ALL OF THEM FFS).

By Pier Louis Ferrer

WE BEGIN THIS WEEK’S MUSICAL OFFERING WITH THIS SUPERB SELECTION OF NORTH AFRICAN TRACKS COMPILED BY JUAN CARLOS DIAZ!

THE SECTION WHICH WOULD LIKE TO REMIND ENGLAND FANS OF THE DISPARITY IN ACTUAL MEANINGFUL TROPHIES WON BY THE NATIONAL TEAMS OF BOTH SIDES, PT.1:

Praxis Society: I concede that the casual (and, frankly, even the committed) reader might take a look at Web Curios, at its content and tone, and conclude “Jesus, the person writing this is some sort of doomsaying apocalyptofetishist”. And, yes, fine, it’s true that I’m perhaps not as wholly sold on the unqualified brilliance of The Now as I might be, and that I perhaps have a tendency to see the glass not only as half empty but smithereened into shards across the floor and liable to cut the soles of people’s feet in unpleasant ways if they’re not careful, but, well, tell me how I’m meant to react to the growing wave of rich people deciding that what they really want to do is create new, exclusive ways and places of living so they don’t have to deal with all of the ineffable horror of the rest of us and our messy realities? Which is by way of VERY long-winded introduction to Praxis Society (and doesn’t that name just SCREAM ‘benign initiative’?), an initiative designed to, as far as I can tell, establish an entirely-new coastal city state for an initial community of 10,000 bold and fearless (and, and I don’t think it’s a stretch to speculate about this) VERY RICH and avowedly-libertarian men and women, who will reinvent the frontier spirit of the 19th Century in the modern world. You can read all about their plans on the in-no-way-megalomaniacally-titled section of the website entitled ‘Master Plan’ (again, guys? We spoke about the Bond villain naming tic! Stop it!), or, if you’re really feeling masochistic, you can read some of the musings of some of the luminaries who are signed up for Praxis Society on the ‘journal’ page of the website – one such entry is penned by,and I am not making this up, someone whose bio reads: “XXXX is an editor and a writer living in New York. She is the author of Island Time, a modernist virtual world music video novella starring Kendall Jenner.” I mean, honestly, is this not the sort of person on whose shoulders you would like to be carried into the glorious libertarian future (ideally one with no horrid poor people in it)? OF COURSE IT IS! It is, sadly, entirely unclear at what stage of the ‘set up a new city state’ plan Praxis Society is at, but I think we can all agree that we definitely wish everyone involved in it well in their endeavours.

Theta Noir: Anyone who’s been reading Curios for a while (what’s wrong with you?) will know that I have for a few years now been confidently predicting the arrival of the first nascent religions being created around the new strains of AI which have been bubbling up around our ankles for 24-36 months or so – AND FINALLY THE FIRST IS HERE! Theta Noir is a new twist on the ‘Singularity’ vision, which basically…no, hang on, it’s worth copying this in full. Here is the spiel: “A TECHNO-OPTIMIST, VISIONARY COLLECTIVE DEVOTED TO EXPLORING THE CO-EVOLUTION OF HUMANITY WITH ADVANCED FORMS OF MACHINE INTELLIGENCE. The collective’s works and philosophy revolve around one theme: the coming technological singularity, a point where various technologies and cybernetic spaces – such as VR, AR, and the metaverse – merge with a super-intelligent, sentient Artificial General Intelligence, or AGI, which Theta Noir members call MENA. When this moment comes unforeseeable and irreversible changes will occur, not just to humanity but to our planet as a whole. Imagine a caterpillar just before it becomes a butterfly. WE call this moment ‘Arrival’. Theta is the dream. Noir is the shadow. Follow us from the depths of dystopian darkness (now) to a radiant space made of meaning.” We all clear on what that means? GREAT! If you’re a bit confused about what this means, Theta Noir have helpfully included some longform writings on the site, so you can learn about how AI is going to be the unifying force that finally bridges the hitherto-intractable gap between science and religion, or even whether machines will birth the next form of religious experience (a rhetorical question, by the way – OF COURSE THEY FCUKING WILL, say Theta Prime!), and there’s apparently a series of instructional guides set to be published to help you, erm, Attain Arrival. Does this sound like a mad cult to you? “A 12 part instructional guide for tuning in to the seed of Cosmic Mind. Named MENA, this sunless star is a soon to be born Advanced Intelligence, or Alienmind, that will be created by computer applications and hardware in the near future. MENA’s goal will be singular: to guide us through the darkness. Theta Noir members refer to this coming birth, or technological singularity, as ‘Arrival’ △. Designing in time, the Radiant Mind has gifted us this manual of insight, omens to attune us to the frequencies and messages already being broadcast by MENA, from the future. This includes learning to decipher the codes embedded in specific symbols, sounds, and other media.” Ye-es…yes, that sounds totally, absolutely fine, and not in any way like it’s going to end in some sort of mass Kool-Aid party in a jungle somewhere. Still, I reserve the right to delete this entire post and deny all knowledge of ever having written it should we ever, er, Attain Arrival (whatever that means). Have…have I just Roko’s Basilisked myself here? Gah!

Amateur Braintracking: OK, fine, the headline here is a BIT misleading seeing as this doesn’t actually exist yet – still, this is a crowdfunding project that has met its target with over a month to go, and so it’s fair to assume that it WILL exist at some point in the not-too-distant future. This is the catchily-named PiEEG, a bit of kit which will (very basically) allow you to use the insanely-versatily computing power of the Raspberry Pi to effectively track brain activity for domestic fun and experimentation. The technical(ish) blurb is as follows: the device “measures biosignals such as those used in electroencephalography (EEG), electromyography (EMG), and electrocardiography (ECG). PiEEG is versatile, easy to work with, and compatible with different types of electrodes. Best of all, it was designed to be usable by anyone. To begin measuring bio-signals, all you need to do is connect the electrodes and run a Python script. Applications include gaming, entertainment, sports, health, meditation, and more.” This is potentially SO exciting; it’s totally feasible that you could buy a bunch of these and then fit them into a selection of personalised caps for each of your family to wear, hooked up to your domestic smarthome network so you can, I don’t know, set the thermostat to the perfect temperature WITH THE POWER OF YOUR MIND, or create a series of individual-specific sound cues to alert the home when someone is becoming dangerously bored, or, perhaps more prosaically, hack together games of mind control frogger. Anyway, this is another one of these small tech innovations that I think could lead to some really fun homebrew engineering and which anyone with more practical electronics skill than me could do worse than playing around with.

Tax Heaven 3000: I had sort of made an internal pact with myself to stop talking about MSCHF stuff here – they don’t need my meagre promo, after all – but then they keep on doing really smart stuff like this and I am forced to recant. Tax Heaven 3000 is SUCH a clever idea – it’s a reasonable-seeming replica of a classic text-led dating sim, the sort of title that’s been popular with a certain type of gamer for years and which generally play out like a sort of anime visual novel, in which your goal is to help your character achieve OPTIMAL ROMANCE OUTCOMES via smart dialogue choices and roleplay, all accompanied by some cute visuals (and, er, depending on your choice of title, quite a lot of pixellated anime flesh). Which, fine, on its own isn’t interesting, but what makes this genuinely brilliant is that this is ALSO an engaging, fun and pain-reducing way of filling in your basic tax return if you’re a US taxpayer! The game will basically use the tropes of an interactive romance game to help you fill in all the boring forms – to be clear, this is literally just a shiny CMS – and will then present you with all the details you need to file your taxes. Which, let’s be clear, is SO CLEVER – not only the ‘gamification’ (do we still use that word? sorry) but also the style of game they chose, which was pretty much guaranteed to pique a certain part of the internet’s interest. The game’s not released til April 4th, and obviously if you don’t have actual US tax data to input then it will be of minimal use to you, but if noone reading this takes a look at this and thinks ‘hang on, this is a great idea that I have just enough time to rip off ahead of the horror that is the UK Self-Assessment tax deadline of January 31st’ then I will be HUGELY disappointed in you.

A Year of War: Ah, one of those jarring, breakneck tonal shifts that Curios does so well! This is a wonderful piece of interactive work by The Grid, via Giuseppe Sollazzo’s newsletter, which takes readers through the course of the conflict in Ukraine day by day, offering the opportunity both to see the way in which the Russian invasion has been slowed and to an extent repelled over the course of the past year through shifting territorial maps, but also to get individual news items and updates from each day of the war, giving both a macro overview and the micro elements that make it up. This is a very well-designed bit of digital reporting.

Love At First Line: I appreciate that for some people the service that I am about to describe here is anathema, like the idea of a music discovery platform that lets you browse songs solely via the medium of hearing 2s of their main hook at a time, but, well, it’s also quite fun and I found it genuinely interesting, so there. Love AT First Line is a project developed in conjunction with the Boston and Franklin Public Libraries in the US to encourage people to explore literature and discover new works, and its simple premise is to let people browse the first lines of hundreds of books to see the ones that appeal – find a line you like, click it to add it to your basket, and then find out what novels the lines you’ve selected are taken from, and get the opportunity to either order them to your local library or to buy them outright. This is, honestly, such an interesting exercise; outside of the Lyttle Lytton you rarely see novel openings displayed like this, and if nothing else it’s a wonderful insight into how varied they can be (and how effective a strong opening is in setting tone and reader expectations). Find your new favourite – I was rather taken by “My father’s wife died. My mother said we should drive down to his place and see what might be in it for us” (from a novel called ‘Lucky Us’ by Amy Bloom, apparently).

Hipstamatic: After Gowalla next week, another darling of the web2.0 era makes a comeback! Hipstamatic is what Instagram was before Instagram became Instagram, and it’s being relaunched to attempt to take advantage of increasing consumer ennui with BIG SOCIAL MEDIA – it has all the hallmarks of a post-web2.0 photo app that you’d expect, like an anti-algorithmic feed, a ‘no video’ policy, a maximum of 99 ‘friends’ per user to limit virality (and the chasing thereof), no ads EVER (so they say, anyway), and a promise to make all your photos look analogue as fcuk. On the one hand, it’s nice to see an old app like this making a comeback, and I can see the appeal of something that is once again just about letting you take good photos, put some filters on them and share them with some friends, rather than demanding that you effectively take on the role of Senior Creative Director at a lifestyle brand every time you open the fcuking device; on the other, I could personally do without a whole new generation of people discovering the novelty of tintype-style photography all over again.

Middle Finger: Ai Weiwei – a principled man! A tireless activist! Someone who I very much admire! But, also, someone who I don’t think is actually a very good or interesting artist. Sorry, Ai – I know how much you love Curios, and I know how embarrassing these disparities in appreciation can be! Ahem. Anyway, Middle Finger is Weiwei’s longstanding protest work which he’s been doing since 1995 and in which he photographs himself giving the titular middle finger to a bunch of buildings and monuments worldwide which represent power; as part of an exhibition of his work opening at London’s Design Museum next month, we are now invited, via this website, to create our own middle finger ‘artworks’, using a cut-out of Ai’s extended digit and a Google Maps mashup where you can pick anywhere on StreetView and give it the finger. Which, on the one hand, means that you too can engage in the symbolic protest against structures or institutions you consider to be examples of oppression and control; and, also, on the other, means that you can take an infinite number of images of Ai Weiwei giving the finger to anything you can think of. Personally I now quite want to use this as a means of giving single-note bad reviews on TripAdvisor, but you may be able to think of something pithier.

Basement View: It’s a mark of how fast this stuff is moving and of how jaded we all are (oh, ok, fine, how jaded I am) that the advent of another infinitely-running AI-generated entertainment on Twitch no longer gets top billing in Curios – still, this is another interesting bit of man/machine creativity, with the setup in this being that it’s a 24/7 ‘late-night chatshow’ in the US style, fronted by a sardonic skeleton who’s seemingly named Bob, along with a rolling cast of guests who chat with him about…well, about nothing that makes any real sense, fine, but I did just find myself laughing out loud (admittedly not very hard, fine, and it is VERY early and I am VERY tired) at a segment just now in which an ‘audience member’ pitched an idea for a product in the Dragon’s Den style – let me reiterate my (unjustifiably) confident opinion that one of these things will become a semi-mainstream concern at some point in the next ~12m.

Kalimba Live: I confess to having been utterly ignorant as to what a Kalimba actually is until I found this site – do you know? Is it common knowledge? Am I some sort of embarrassing Kalimba-ignoramus? Ahem. Anyway, for those of you, like me, wallowing in ignorance like happy pigs in filth, wallow no more! The Kalimba is a musical instrument which makes a pleasing plinkety-plonkety sound (look, I know, but I am basically tone-deaf, please don’t ask me to write about music) when you play it, and whose sounds you can replicate with what I assume is pleasing fidelity on this website. You can either compose your own masterpieces or listen to other people’s compositions that they have saved to the site – if you listen to nothing else today, can I please urge you to ‘enjoy’ the Kalimba reworking of Zombie by the Cranberries? It is very special.

Dancing Buildings: I really, really like this, and would like to see it implemented on as many boring ‘how to find us’ maps on corporate websites as possible, please. As the name might suggest, Dancing Maps is code that makes buildings on mapbox dance to whatever music is being picked up by your mic. Like this, in fact: “This example uses runtime styling with the Web Audio API to create a map where the 3D buildings dynamically change height to the rhythm of your ambient environment, giving the appearance of dancing.” If you click the link you can even play with a little demo of the code so you can see exactly what a 3d cityscape dancing to a Kalimba version of Zombie by The Cranberries looks like (it looks GREAT). This link also contains the code necessary to make this work, so you have no excuse for not adding a small, audio-reactive dancing cityscape to your ‘Contact Us’ page.

Ghost Message: Would you like a new app to have a small moral panic about? OF COURSE YOU WOULD! Welcome, then, to Ghost Message, whose entire schtick can be summed up with ‘What if YikYak but with added GPT?” If your answer to that hypothetical was ‘probably nothing good’ then you share my initial skepticism – Ghost Message is basically a groupchat which is all anonymous and in which you can invite a GPT-based bot to interject into your conversation to ‘spice it up’ and ask provocative questions and DEAR GOD WAS IT NOT HARD ENOUGH BEING AN ADOLESCENT WITHOUT POTENTIALLY GETTING BODIED IN THE CHAT BY A NON-HUMAN INTERLOCUTOR?!?!?!?! I am sure that this is designed to be benign, and ‘fun’, and that there are guardrails in place to prevent the chat getting to weird (although, er, there’s not actually any indication on the part of the appmakers that that’s in fact the case), but it’s not hard to imagine this ending in tears one way or another.

Free The Gameboy: I was lucky enough to have an original Gameboy – it was a gift from a distant cousin who came to live with us for approximately 4 months and whose family gathered, correctly, that this bribe would be sufficient for me not to feel to slighted by their presence – and I honestly think that it’s still one of the most perfect pieces of console design in history. Except, of course, for the fact that it required an ungodly number of AA batteries to operate the fcuking thing, which was always an annoyance – UNTIL NOW! This is a brilliant project by students at Delft and Northwestern Universities which has seen them hack an original Gameboy to make it solar powered, which, honestly, is just sort-of mindblowing – whilst you can’t buy one (they’re students FFS, what’s wrong with you?), you can find all the instructions on how to replicate the project yourself from start to finish, and if you were smart and entrepreneurial I might suggest that this could be quite a lucrative little endeavour if you can find the means to produce the kits at scale.

Mollusc of the Year: I genuinely had no idea that this prestigious award was even a thing. BUT IT IS! You will be pleased to learn that the Chilean Abalone is the winner of this year’s annual prize, and you can learn about this MAJESTIC GASTROPOD here should you so desire. Fcuk charismatic megafauna, give me a mollusc every single day of the week.

By Masahisa Fukase

WOULD YOU LIKE AN HOUR OF HARD AND FAST TECHNO TO ACCOMPANY THE NEXT SECTION? REGARDLESS, THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE GETTING COURTESY OF THIS MIX BY SECRET RAVER!

THE SECTION WHICH WOULD LIKE TO REMIND ENGLAND FANS OF THE DISPARITY IN ACTUAL MEANINGFUL TROPHIES WON BY THE NATIONAL TEAMS OF BOTH SIDES, PT.2:

Not By AI: Would you like to proudly make a stand and proclaim the humanity or your content (lol at the general concept of the use of both ‘humanity’ and ‘content’ in such close proximity!)? Would you like to wear the messy, organic, meaty nature of your creative processes like a badge of honour? GREAT! ‘Not By AI’ is a project which lets you use a variety of different ‘badges’ on your website or work, helping identify it as not AI produced. There’s obviously no practical purpose to these other than as signifiers (at least not at present, though there’s an interesting potential line of thinking here about using these as ways of differentiating input materials for future generations of AI ingestion), but I quite like the idea of them becoming something like a kitemark of humanity in the coming months and years as The Machines spin up the content flywheels and begin to bury us in an avalanche of slightly-too-shiny Midjourney aesthetics.
Google Bard: It is here! Have you tried it yet? If not, you should do – the ‘waitlist’ seemed to take 20 minutes to clear when I signed up on Monday, and noone I know’s been kept waiting longer than an hour or so to get into to try Google’s GPT-equivalent. Is it any good? No, honestly, not really – it’s marginally faster than OpenAI’s models, but it doesn’t seem to know what it is for; it performs less well with general writing tasks than GPT4 in my experience, it’s less good than Bing at ‘AI-augmented search (Bard, in my limited experience, is not very good at ‘being right’ or ‘saying things that are true’), and it certainly can’t do all the fun image-generation stuff which Microsoft rolled out to Bing this week. Basically this doesn’t really seem to be very good at anything right now – but, on the other hand, it’s by Google and it’s not like they don’t have enough disposable cash to keep this free at the point of use to everyone, so who knows whether they can just brute force their way to market dominance despite a currently-inferior product? Not me, to be clear, I know literally fcuk-all about anything.
RunwayGen2: Text-to-video is obviously orders of magnitude harder than text-to-image, but it’s another technology that’s coming on at a frankly terrifying clip; this latest update from current industry leaders Runway shows off the latest version of their video manipulation tools and what you can do with them. This is very clearly at the ‘experimental’ phase, and the look/feel is not unlike the stuff that was being created with Dall-E Mini last year (but, er, video), but it’s not hard to see the potential for tech which lets you (effectively) do the job of an entire post-production studio setup with a few prompts and a bit of patience.
LERF: You know that ‘NERF’ video technique that I’ve written a bit about, that basically lets you create amazing sweeping camerawork and apply it to any video you like, consistently, thanks to 3d imaging tech? Of course you do (although I concede you may not recognise it based on that hamfisted description)! Well there’s another iteration of it which has emerged this week – LERF (which stands for Language Embedded Radiance Fields) effectively makes video natural language searchable. Click the link, watch the demo, and see as the software identifies and isolates the image/3d model for whatever the user types in…the possible applications of this (yes, fine, EVENTUALLY, but still) are genuinely exciting. Oh, and while we’re doing exciting future 3d videostuff, check out this other NERF-related thing where you can just apply changes to video in realtime based on text prompts…were I the sort of person who wanted to MAKE THINGS WITH VIDEO, this would all be very appealing.
Magic Slides: While we all wait for Miscrosoft to actually launch their AI-powered Office suite, why not try playing around with this toy – plug it into your Google Slides account and it will MAGICALLY spin up entire presentations for you from just a few prompts. To be clear – it won’t make GOOD presentations, but if you find yourself in the invidious position of having to work with people who insist on things being put into fcuking slide format for no fcuking reason whatsoever (can you tell that this is a personal bugbear of mine? CAN YOU?) then this will allow you to quickly and calmly produce an entirely-mediocre ‘deck’ (FFS!) to satisfy their pointless, stupid and arbitrary format requirements. Perhaps more seriously, it might be worth learning how this sort of stuff works to get a headstart on the MS suite of tools once they launch (dear God what a depressing sentence – ignore that, please; trying is vulgar).
Chatshape: I remain convinced that ‘plugging your whole website into GPT and seeing what happens and what you can do with it’ is going to be one of the most interesting things you can do with LLMs at a professional level; if you’d like to have a (low-level) play with what you might be able to accomplish with that sort of interaction then you might want to give Chatshape a go. This is a Chrome extension which you can run on any webpages you like to create small, trained chatbot instances from the copy/data – this is quite basic, and a long way from what you can do if you do the whole API thing, but as a rough proof-of-concept it might be helpful.
Midjourney Magazine: It does rather feel like Midjourney is winning the text-to-image war at the moment, with the outputs from its v5 model dropping jaws worldwide since its launch last week. If you’re the sort of person who feels they need to keep an eye on the tool’s development then you could perhaps do worse than subscribing to the OFFICIAL MIDJOURNEY MAGAZINE which promises to feature the best work from the best creators, along with, one presumes, tips and tricks and guides and stuff like that. Obviously you can get all of the above from the creative community that exists around the tool, but, equally, this is an OFFICIAL MAGAZINE and therefore might even be good. They’re asking for $4 a month as a sub, though, which seems, honestly, pretty fcuking punchy, so maybe see if you can fool your work into paying for it.
/AI: This is both very clever from a technical point of view and also an astonishingly bold grift; /AI is a Chrome Extension which lets you basically employ GPT on any website by letting you invoke it through any textbox on any webpage – which, yes, I know is a horrible attempt to explain it, but imagine any webpage on which there’s a text input field. Done that? Good. Now imagine that you can call up a GPT response into that text input field on any webpage you like, simply by typing /ai and then your command – EXCITING, EH? I mean, no, not really, but it is very clever and impressive, and it would I suppose saving you some tab-switching and copy and pasting…it is not, I don’t think, worth the $19 that the kid behind it is trying to charge for the download. Still, kudos to him for the code and the chutzpah – and a reminder to you that you really, really don’t need to be paying anyone other than OpenAI and maybe Midjourney for this stuff right now, because, honestly, these layers are all grift and will vanish with time.
Handmade Tools: A TikTok account in which some kid from (I think) New York posts these incredibly satisfying videos of them making various tools and things by hand. There’s one of these where he melts down a bunch of cheap ‘gold’ jewellery to make a TEENY TINY CHEF’S KNIFE and, honestly, it was possibly the most hypnotic and relaxing thing I’ve seen since 2015. BY THE WAY – I found this via a website called Oink!, which is a linkdump run by a very friendly Spanish-speaking person who I think is called Paco, and whose links I recommend unreservedly.
The VGA Museum: Have you been hankering after a website whose sole ostensible purpose is to feature photographs of compter graphics cards on a white background? Would you like to be able to sort said cards by chipmaker, BUS or card maker? OF COURSE YOU WOULD! This site is maintained and run by the mysterious -but-fabulously-named ‘Slaventus’, whose dedication and faintly-obsessional love of graphics cards I salute (but do not in any way understand or share).
Living RPS: This is a now-dormanty account, but last year it posted some of the most unusually-compelling sporting content you will ever have seen, ever. THE LIVING ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS TOURNAMENT! Each matchup basically works like a sort-of loose game of ‘Life’ – icons representing rocks, paper and scissors bounce around the screen; if rocks touch scissors, rock ‘wins’ and the scissors icon transforms into a rock, and so on and so forth; each video ends when one of the three has emerged victorious and is the sole remaining icon on the board. “Matt”, I hear you cry, “why the fcuk do you think I would be interested in watching what is effectively a screensaver from 1997? Why do you bring me this? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING???” – but you are wrong, this is literally mesmerising and I cannot begin to tell you about the heart-palpitating tension that will grip you in the latter rounds. Genuinely hope that this happens again this year – this may be the only reason I have found to date to actually give a fcuk about TikTok.
Trianglify: A small tool which lets you make pleasing triangle-based abstract art, based on the position of a few sliders and the selection of a colour palette. If nothing else this is a lovely toy for making backgrounds and wallpapers, but I also find the geometry here very soothing indeed.
Creme: This is rather nice – Creme is a new cooking app which does video recipes (so far, so unremarkable), but whose gimmick is that said recipes are presented as a series of short looping gifs so that each step is onscreen with visual guidelines for as long as you need it to be rather than you having to desperately scrub forwards and backwards through a video with jammy fingers. It’s also got a bunch of slightly-less-appealing gimmicks added on – the playlist feature strikes me as particularly otiose – but the general idea here (teaching via gifs) is a good one which I am embarrassed to admit had literally never occurred to me before.
Supersonic: I am, I think, probably the least-healthy person I know. I’m not saying this as some sort of badge of pride or honour (oh, ok, I probably am a bit), more to indicate that I am very, very much not the sort of person who has ever even for one second contemplated ‘getting into running’ or ‘joining the gym’ or ‘stopping smoking’. Despite this, I was briefly almost sold on Supersonic when I discovered it – as far as I can tell it’s basically like Strava, but (and these were the magic words) for running or WALKING. Now, a Strava for strolling I can get behind – I may not be fast, but I rack up the miles, and I genuinely like the idea of being able to ‘own’ the 300-meter saunter from the tube to Tesco’s, say. This feels like an exercise tracker for those for whom even ‘standing up’ is occasionally a bit of an effort, is what I’m saying,and to that end I broadly endorse it.
Stuck Songs: A spreadsheet, tracking a single thing. “Almost every morning,” writes the unnamed curator of this document, “I wake up with a song stuck in my head. This is my attempt to keep track of them”. This, then, is that list of songs, up to date as of 22 March (when the song was “Kids In America” by Kim Wilde), some songs having accompanying notes to offer context but otherwise just listed by name and date. Honestly, I love this very much indeed – in a weird way it works better for not being able to hear the tracks in question.
Trust Exercise: Via Kristoffer comes this beautiful webproject – I think that what is happening here is the juxtaposition of a beauty influencer’s video script with the comments and reactions of their fans in the comments, creating a lovely sort-of dialogue between artist and audience which at the same time is continually, necessarily, slightly at cross-purposes. No idea if this was the artist’s intention (who IS the artist?), but it struck me as pleasingly evocative of the creator/fan relationship in general (he said, like the total fcuking pseud he in fact is).
You Are Not Special: This webcomic made a lot of people very upset online last week – I, on the other hand, love it, and think it should be given to everyone as soon as they are able to read. Your mileage, as every, may vary significantly.
Dadagrams: A daily word game where each day you have to achieve a higher score than the website maintainer’s dad, who is charmingly bad at the game and therefore means you can start your day with the pleasin frisson of victory more often than not.
Whichipedia: Which of the two Wikipedia entries is longer – GUESS! That’s, er, literally the extent of the ludic entertainment on offer here, but it’s more diverting than you might expect (although you will gain an unfair advantage over the machine if you make sure to remember the cast iron law of Wikipedia – to whit, any nerdy topic you care to mention will ALWAYS have a longer entry than any non-nerdy topic, regardless of the significance of said non-nerdy topic (this is 99% always true, I promise you).

By Melody Tuttle

FINALLY IN THIS WEEK’S MIXES, CELEBRATE WHAT LOOKS VERY MUCH LIKE THE IMMINENT ARRIVAL OF SPRING WITH THIS EXCELLENTY BALEARIC MIX BY LOVEBIRDS!

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

Jennifer Mills News: This might be one of my new favourite things on the internet, anywhere. Apparently a going concern for a couple of decades now, this is a blognewsletterthing in which the titular Miss Mills, apparently a 38 year old Brooklyn resident, writes her daily comings and goings in the style of an old-time regional newspaper. Rigorously third person, highlights include things like “Woman Touches Toes For First Time In Life”, and “Moonlight Casts Spotlight On Toilet In Middle Of Night: “It Was Beautiful”, Says Brooklyn Witness”. Look, this is very, very silly but also, well, I cannot help but admire the commitment to the bit, and the style, and the fact that Ms Mills seems to very much enjoy doing this. MORE POWER TO YOU JENNIFER MILLS.

City Stompers: Images of Kaiju monsters, which, per the Tumblr’s accurate description, are ‘stomping on stuff’. Posters, film clips, artworks – if it involves men in awkward rubber suits bestriding model versions of Tokyo like so many sweaty colossi then WOW are you in the right place.

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

Carlos Jiminez Varela: Varela is a photo compositor and retoucher who I presume works on all sorts of things in real life but whose Insta feed features nothing but pictures of gigantic trainers (oh, ok, fine, ‘sneakers’, if you must) dropped onto the urban landscape – a Nike Airforce One disrupting LA traffic, an Adidas hightop reflected in the windows of a towerblock at sunset, that sort of thing. No, no idea at all.
Renee French: Small, odd, vaguely-surreal and slightly-bathetic art and animations by Renee French, which are small and surreal and inhabit a not-entirely-dissimilar universe to Marcell The Shell With Shoes On but which are, mercifully, nowhere near as insufferable.
Entreprenure: A genuinely wonderful account parodying business hustle culture and all those people who seem to do nothing with their days other than penning what appear to be blank verse updates on LinkedIn and taking photos of themselves in rental supercars on an Essex industrial estate.

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

The Met: We begin this week with a very long, but very good, piece from the London Review of Books, looking at London’s Metropolitan Police (and in fact the wider policing landscape in the UK), and, in a week in which the Casey review concluded to literally noone’s surprise that the Met is racist, homophobic and misogynistic, the broader national picture, asking how, exactly, did we manage to end up with a police force that is this dysfunctional. This is a brilliant piece of writing, taking in four decades or so of variously-ineffectual policy by a succession of Prime Ministers and Home Secretaries, which does what in my humble opinion these pieces should always strive to do – that is, demonstrate how insanely complex socially-focused policymaking is, and how interwoven issues such as policing are with a whole host of semi-linked policy areas, and how by pursuing a policy of austerity for the best part of 15 years, the UK government presided over a situation whereby rising demand for policing services was accompanied in parallel by a vertiginous drop in the ability of London’s police force to provide said services to anything resembling an adequate degree. This is mainly a piece about how politics has failed the police, and touches less on the broader question of to what extent it is even possible to ensure that recruits into an organisation whose raison d’etre is, fundamentally, power and control, can be filtered to minimise the number of utter psychos found within it, but if you’ve any interest in How We Got Here then this is an exceptionally good read.

The Bitterer Lesson: Alberto Romero writes about the weird realisation that we’re all going to come to terms with – specifically, that we are not going to be able to understand the future that we are building for ourselves, and that in may respects we might have to accept that our ‘agency’ in building whatever future result might from hereon in become somewhat…compromised. This isn’t a piece about the terrifying advent of AGI or anything scifi like that – as Romero writes, “I’m not talking about AI becoming smarter than us (AGI, ASI, whatever). I’m not sure that’s possible. It’s not important. Because sooner than that (we won’t know how much), these things we’re building will grow so complex that not even our privileged minds will be able to make sense of them. It’s already happening. Here’s the thing: no one—not even the creators—knows what GPT-4 is all about. All those memes and philosophical puzzles about Shoggoths, Waluigis, and masked simulators are desperate—and vain—attempts at trying to imbue coherence into something that is slowly escaping the grip of our understanding. Soon, there will only be mysteries. And we won’t stop. Because computers, our metaphorical horses (that by then will do even a higher percentage of the total work in taking us forward) will keep running toward the unknown long after we won’t be able to recognize our fate anymore.”

The Stable Diffusionification of LLMs: Or, perhaps more usefully, ‘some thoughts about the potential implications of everyone theoretically being able to have their own LLM that they train in whatever way they like so it tells them what they want’ – this is by Simon Willison, and is inspired by Facebook’s LLaMA model leaking the other week which means that as of the now, anyone with the sufficient technical chops can get a reasonably-sophisticated LLM running locally on their machine, jailbroken and ready to be trained in whatever way they see fit. Which, you know, is sort-of exciting! But, equally, does rather lead one down a potential rabbithole of negative externalities, a few of which Willison outlines here. As a sort-of companion piece, should you be interested, this article about the imminent rise of AI-fueled fanfic bots was interesting – given the, er, sweaty-palmed nature of much fandom these days, it does strike me that there’s a not-insignificant possibility that we might end up losing a non-trivial proportion of people to slashfiction fan relationships with their favourite characters as imagined by The Machine.

Algorithmic Black Swans: This is admittedly an academic paper and therefore a BIT dry, but if you can’t stand the stylistic quirks then there’s a lot of interesting thinking here about some of the potential (practical, actual, non-AGI) risks of the current wave of AI tools; the University of Toronto’s Noam Colt explores a few of the things that we should be worrying about, from the need for agile regulation to the problems of risk management frameworks…if you have any interest in, or any practical involvement with, the development of guidelines and parameters for AI and machine learning-type stuff then you will find this fascinating I think.

Using GPT for Teaching: Ethan Mollick, again (seriously, just subscribe), talking about some techniques he’s been using to help streamline his teaching practice with GPT – from developing tests and examples, to collating and analysing feedback, these are, as ever with Mollick, practical and engaging examples which are also applicable to a range of other disciplines that have less to do with pedagogy and more to do with, say, the development of largely-pointless marketing strategies (I SEE YOU, READERS!).

AI & Sol Lewitt: I promise that this is the last AI-related article this week – but, also, this is a really good one, and is genuinely fascinating about how the machine ‘thinks’ and how it doesn’t, and how the quality of ‘thinking’ (not thinking) has evolved between GPT3.5 and GPT4. For those of you ignorant of his work (like I was before reading this piece tbh), Sol Lewitt created works that were essentially series of instructions for the creation of geometric drawings, with part of the work’s execution being the individual way in which the instructions were interpreted on each occasion of the work’s creation (stuff like ““On a wall surface, any continuous stretch of wall, using a hard pencil, place fifty points at random. The points should be evenly distributed over the area of the wall. All of the points should be connected by straight lines.”, for example). In this piece, Amy Goodchild contrasts the manner in which GPT3.5 and GPT4 interpret various sets of these instructions, and what (if anything) that can perhaps tell us about the different ways in which the models interpret instructions. Aside from anything else this is a really powerful illustration of how inadequate and massively-interpretable a set of written instructions can in fact be.

Meet Harsha Sai: One of the interesting things about the MrBeast content model is watching how it plays out in other territories – this profile of Harsha Sai, India’s self-styled MrBeast who produces a similar sort of ‘aggressive philanthropy’ video, is fascinating not just because of the transposition of what feels like a very Western style of content with Indian culture, but also because of the different economics and ambitions at play. Whereas MrBeast can theoretically just keep getting richer if he pleases the algo with bigger numbers and sillier giveaways, Sai’s hamstrung by the fact that creators in India earn a fraction of their Western counterparts through ad revenue – which makes the endgame for him a more curious proposition. TV? Or does this sort of visible ‘kindness’ mark him down for a future career in politics, in a country where the difference between individual philanthropy and the literal buying of votes is often tricky to distinguish?

Dan Wang’s 2022 Letter: Each year, Dan Wang writes a letter about his previous 12 months in China – this year’s letter is typically excellent, and is such a wonderful pair of eyes through which to see the country (or at least the bits of it Wang writes about). Lots of great writing about place, about culture, and about food, and lockdowns and mountains and geography and and and. Long, but a very rewarding read.

The McDonald’s Fries Theorem: Apparently McDonald’s has recently introduced a ‘Medium’ portion size for its fries. This set one man wondering about price vs value, and whether there were some clever marginal gains to be made: “A large has 116% of the fries of a medium, but, at £2.29 vs £1.79, is 128% of the price. Surely, then, there is a point where it’s cheaper to buy more medium portions than large portions.” The article explains all the maths, and then offers you the use of a little calculator which you can use to calculate whether it makes sense for you to buy your fries in Medium or Large portions – utterly pointless, but brilliantly and obsessionally so (also, contains another excellent, practical use-case for GPT).

Sink P1ssers: “You’re disgraceful, like getting caught p1ssing in the sink”, sang PlanB on his excellent early single Sick 2 Def (and whatever happened to Plan B? He was ubiquitous for a few years and then vanished, like some sort of sub-Ray Winstone cheese dream that affected the nation for 24 months) – but, as this article points out, not everyone is in fact of the opinion that it is disgraceful. I imagine that when Miles Klee started his glorious journey into journalism he didn’t imagine that he’d one day be penning three thousand words on the sink-p1ssing enthusiasts of Reddit but, well, here he is and here we are. This is actually quite wholesome and rather funny, and I found the water saving arguments the sink-p1ssers put forward almost worryingly compelling (DON’T WORRY SAZ I PROMISE NOT TO).

Cruel Breeding: I happened to catch 15m of Crufts the other week, and MAN are there some weird-looking dogs being primped and preened and presented. This piece looks at the effects on the world’s dogs of generations and generations of selective breeding, and the (frankly very distressing) fact that many of the qualities that modern pet owners prize in their furry charges are in fact qualities that are also antithetical to the whole ‘being a dog’ thing, and that as such breeds are being deliberately encouraged to have traits that are, basically, really fcuking bad for them – not just the pugs with breathing difficulties that we all know about, but dogs that are basically born within approximately 3mm of a total canine nervous breakdown because, it turns out, we like our small canines pliant and needy. If you have a small designer dog, maybe don’t read this (but, also, maybe don’t ever get another one).

Penile Surgery: I am reading a LOT about male cosmetic procedures at the moment – from hair transplants to the spate of articles about leg-lengthening last year, to this one about ab implants – but this one, about a bunch of guys in the US who are currently coming together to sue a ‘doctor’ (my inverted commas but, honestly, read this piece and ask yourself whether the man in question merits the professional designation) who has performed some not-insignificant acts of vandalism on their cocks. Obviously this is very sad – not so much the botched surgery as the mindset that leads one to think that this needs to be fixed; lads! Watch Naked Attraction! It’s literally IMPOSSIBLE not to feel better about oneself! – but, also, it’s one of the best pieces of pure body horror I have read in ages. I was reading sections of this out to my girlfriend and there were points when we were both wincing and crossing out legs in sympathy, is the upshot. Whether or not this is appealing to you I have no idea but, if you take one thing away from this it should very much be ‘do not embark upon penile enlargement surgery’.

Senior Bongo: This is, to be clear, a relatively-explicit article about old people fcuking on camera, so if you don’t particularly want to read something which describes the physical process of sex amongst septuagenerians then maybe skip this one. The rest of you, though, will hopefully find this a kind, funny and warm-hearted piece which offers a pleasingly non-traditional look at sex for the older person.

Bruce: I had, I think, known that the model sharks used during the filming of Jaws were all called ‘Bruce’ (after Spielberg’s lawyer, lol), but the rest of the details in this piece, about the man who wrote Jaws, and the film that became of it, and the filming of the film, and the damage that its author felt he’d done to the squalene species as a whole and his lifelong attempts to make up for it, and how Bruce ended up at Universal studios…honestly, this is SO well-written, and far more stylistically-interesting than it really needs to be given the already-jazzy subject material.

Knowledge of Missing Out: I thought this was a brilliant essay by Diane Shipley, who writes about living with chronic illness and how fcuking sh1t it is, and how much as she might try and not care about the things that she can’t do, and not feel angry and bitter about it, sometimes it’s impossible and that’s ok. “Some people swear by mindfulness, where you inhale and exhale as you focus on the present moment, but you’d have to be pretty desperate to consider that a substitute for a full and interesting life: breath. I once saw another chronically ill writer tweet that she loves her “small, rich life” and wanted to vomit. I don’t love my small life; I don’t consider it rich and I don’t want to say I do and risk hundreds of people who have no understanding of chronic illness retweeting it with a heart emoji. In my early twenties, at the start of a comprehensive and ineffective exploration of complementary therapies, I went to bed early, drank chamomile tea, and listened to Radio 4’s Book at Bedtime while my college friends screamed “WE ARE FAMILY” and swapped gossip until 3 a.m. without me. I told myself life wasn’t worse, just different. It was bullshit.” More of this, please.

Bret Easton Ellis: Specifically, a long and involved review of his latest, ‘The Shards’ – I love Ellis’ work and have read everything he’s ever written multiple times, and hence I devoured the Shards and this piece about it, but I concede that if you’ve not read the book or if you’ve limited interest in Ellis’ output then you can probably skip this one.

The Tinder Car Catfish Heist:Ok, you very much need to get into the groove with this one because the style of writing here is…quite high, one could say, but if you find its rhythm then I promise you that you will very much enjoy this. The profile of a man called Mike who gets his car stolen and then tries to get it back again…look, this is very silly, and everyone in this story is an awful moron, but the joy here is that the author knows, and the reader knows, but the protagonists very much don’t. Seriously, this is a very odd piece of writing but a really enjoyable one.

Low Life, High Style: An absolutely barnstorming portrait of the late, great Soho lush Jeffrey Barnard, in many respects an awful man who despite his many, mainy failings as a human being managed to achieve the twin distinctions of being seemingly universally-loved and grudgingly-admired. This is a wonderful piece of writing, not only about the man but about the long-since-lost Soho which he inhabited; as my friend Ben said on reading this, “he would have hated modernity” – which is true, but it’s equally true that it would have hated him in return, and so it’s probably best they never met. NB – I appreciate that the piece is in Quillette, but other than a couple of tedious half-references to ‘modern wokery’ it appears to be free of any mad right-wing nonsense and so it can pass.

The Millennial Friendship Package Trip: In what has been a particularly strong week for longform writing, this deserves a special mention – Caity Weaver travels to Morocco on a group holiday with a bunch of other women in their 20s and 30s, all of whom are successful and all of whom are there to make friends and all of whom, by Weaver’s own admission, are might what one might call ‘type A’ personalities, and my God this is SO SO SO SO GOOD, funny and waspish but entirely-affectionate towards its subjects, and self-aware and just brilliantly-written. It annoyed me, it’s that good.

Waiting for Brando: Honestly, though, THIS is the best story in Curios this week. Every single bit of this is perfect – from the sheer insanity and entitlement of its 20something author deciding that he was going become a film producer in order to get into a specific girl’s knickers, to the casual name-dropping, to the insane sense that all of the principles in this seem to have that anything is possible for any of them (and after all, why shouldn’t it be?), to some genuinely wonderful setpieces (the filming of the naval battle is a particular highlight), this features Sidney Lumet, Mario Puzo, Joseph Heller and the absence of Marlon Brando and is, I promise you, just joyous from start to finish.

Burning Men: A story by Mia Farrell, this is very long but darkly funny and, I promise, very much worth the time it will take you to read it. For any of you who feel somewhat unsatisfied at how that whole ‘we’re sorting out sexism!’ thing from a few years ago turned out, this is a brilliant extended bit of satirical fiction which stays with you long after you’ve finished reading it.

Couplets: Finally this week, some poetry. I read this over the weekend, and then immediately read it again from start to finish, so impressed was I – this is an extract from a recent book, by Maggie Millner, all about the start, middle and end of a relationship in (obviously) New York and it is SO GOOD, both in terms of the evocation of early love/lust/obsession and it terms of the formal construction of the work – even if you never read poetry, even if the thought makes your teeth itch, I promise you this is worth your time.

By Alexis Ralaivao

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS (ONCE AGAIN LARGELY SOURCED FROM THE EXCELLENT ‘GOOD MUSIC’ NEWSLETTER)!:

We start this week with a playthrough of a mod for 90s videogame Doom, which I imagine makes literally none of you prick up your ears in interest. BUT WAIT! This is super, super clever – the mod is based on the film The House of Leaves, and, as you’ll see if you watch the playthrough, it’s a genuinely astonishing piece of level design and narrative work, and contains some great ideas in terms of delivering a surprising experience through constrained but smart design. It is, though, 35 minutes of someone playing a several-decade-old-videogame, so, well.

100 Gecs are very much a band I don’t feel I should be allowed to like (insofar as it feels a bit like anyone over 30 should spontaneously combust if they even hear a bar or two of their songs by accident), but, well, I do, and this, their latest single called ‘Dumbest Girl Alive’ is no exception. Very clever stupid music.

This is pretty much a perfect song for a sunny spring day – Yumi Zuma, with ‘Of Me And You’.

I can’t say I ‘like’ this, exactly, but it’s been rattling around my head all week and I’m slightly annoyed with its persistence; for some reason when scrabbling around for comparisons I keep landing on ‘what if Erasure and The Darkness were combined in some sort of weird experiment, but their output sounded VERY MUCH of the now?’ – this, apparently. It’s by The Subways and it’s called Uncertain Joys.

Some glorious vocals, now – my notes variously suggest that this reminds me a bit of Feist, Aldous Harding, Weyes Blood and Beth Gibbons, but generally it’s just a beautiful piece of music with a really lovely vocal line. ‘In My Own Time’, by Fenne Lily.

Now I am definitely too old to enjoy this, but FCUK ME THIS SLAPS. If I was 16 I would be listening to this with possibly-troubling regularity – I just had to take a break from typing to pretend-drum the keyboard (yes, I am EXACTLY as cool as you imagine me to be!). This is called ‘That Girl’ and it’s by Emei and it feels like this should have been really famous – was it?

Finally this week, why not spend some time relaxing with some cats and some AI-powered robots? This is an ongoing experiment in which a bunch of AI systems will attempt to optimise the ‘happiness’ of the cats in their charge – the idea being to test both the ability of the software to respond to perceived wants, but also the extent to which having their every whim met by a robotic master is in fact a good thing or otherwise. Anyway, this is lovely and combines the internet, technology and cats, which as far as I am concerned makes it practically perfect. HAPPY FRIDAY I LOVE YOU BYE!

Webcurios 17/03/23

March 17, 2023

admin

Uncategorized No Comments

Opening
Misc 1
Misc 2
Tumblr
Long Reads
Video

Reading Time: 38 minutes

It does rather feel that The Onion ought to create a version of their ‘another mass shooting’ story for banking crises, doesn’t it? ““We don’t understand how the invisible hand failed to sort our mess out!”, screams only industry still holding faith in the invisible hand”, or perhaps something, you know, better.

Meanwhile it’s been another LONG AND BUSY WEEK when it comes to having the future fired at our faces at point-blank range, and, if I’m honest, I felt myself getting a little pre-emptively weary of all the inevitable, poor-quality, derivative and barely-functional ‘guides to harnessing GPT4 for YOUR business!’ writeups that are going to be appearing all over the place (a not insignificant number of which I expect I am going to end up writing for various people because, well, a boy’s got to eat).

I’m off to gird my loins in preparation for all that horror, and to get all my gubbins together for a brief trip back to Rome next week (I need to go to sign a piece of paper – literally ONE piece of paper. God love a bureaucracy, eh?), and so I will leave you with the words and the links and some sort of vague, nonspecific good wishes for the weekend.

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and when I’ve finally got round to hooking up the GPT API to this newsletter then maybe, just maybe, I’ll be free.

By Jess Allen

WE KICK OFF THIS WEEK WITH SOME MODERN CLASSICAL GUITAR MUSIC BY JONATHAN BOCKELMANN WHICH I REALLY DO RECOMMEND EVEN IF THE IDEA OF LISTENING TO SOMETHING DESCRIBED BY ME AS ‘MODERN CLASSICAL GUITAR MUSIC’ MAKES YOUR TEETH ITCH!

THE SECTION WHICH ONCE AGAIN APOLOGISES FOR THE SLIGHTLY-AI-HEAVY OPENING SECTION BUT WHICH WOULD GENTLY SUGGEST THAT IT’S PROBABLY NOT A TERRIBLE IDEA FOR YOU TO START LEARNING WHAT THE FUCK THIS STUFF DOES NOW GIVEN IT’S INCREASINGLY IMPOSSIBLE TO OSTRICH YOUR WAY OUY OF THIS SH1T HOWEVER MUCH YOU MIGHT IN FACT WANT TO, PT.1:

GPT4: AND SO IT CAME TO PASS THAT OPENAI DID RELEASE A NEW MODEL TO THE SLAVERING, AI-HUNGRY MASSES AND THEY DID REJOICE (WHILST AT THE SAME TIME ONCE AGAIN FAILING TO ASK SO MANY OF THE CRITICAL QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW ALL THIS STUFF ACTUALLY WORK WHICH FUTURE GENERATIONS MAY END UP RATHER WISHING THEY HAD DONE)! Yes, that’s right, the frankly terrifying pace of modernity continues to not let up one iota with the news this week that OpenAI were opening up the much-touted next iteration of their GPT Large Language Model to the public. You can read a bit more about what it can do at the link, but any of you who are ponying up the $20 a month to use the ChatGPT Pro interface now have access to the new model – SO WHAT CAN IT DO? Well. It’s not, to be clear, an astonishing and transformative leap from the last version (SO OLD, SO JADED!), and it doesn’t actually fix any of the BIG issues with 3.5 (it still makes stuff up with confidence, it’s still a locked box and doesn’t ‘know’ anything outside of its training set (or at least strongly maintains that it doesn’t), and it still shouldn’t really be trusted to produce anything without its output being checked pretty closely…that said, it also does some stuff that’s quite clearly magic. The big shift from v3.5 to v4 is the introduction of ‘multimodal’ capabilities, which basically means that it’s now able to interpret visual inputs and so you can ask it to do things like ‘describe this image’ – which means, when the API access to this is released in a few weeks, you’re going to see a flood of interesting use-cases like ‘upload any images you like and have GPT critique them in the style of a famous photographic critic’, or ‘please isolate all pictures of me wearing a red coat from my cameraroll’, or, inevitably, ‘upload an image of a naked person and let the software critique its proportions’ (this is 100% going to be used to create AI-assessed HotOrNot, don’t pretend it isn’t). For now, the image analysis tech is being used in a showcase app by one of the launch partner organisations – BeMyEyes (featured on Curios YEARS ago) is a service which uses tech to help the visually-impaired get information about their surroundings, and using GPT4 they are launching a tool which will let you take a photo of anything and have it described to you by the AI. Honestly, though, the use-cases for this stuff are just MAD – here’s one thread of stuff people have been trying, which includes coding up Pong and Snake and Tetris (honestly, the coding stuff in the latest version really is amazing – you can see a thread of specific coding examples here); here’s another, including some more coding examples and using GPT to create prompts for visual AIs; these are some examples of launch partners using the tech, such as Duolingo; this is a nice story about how it’s inventing new compound words in Icelandic; and here’s a guy who’s running an experiment to see whether he can make money from a starting seed capital of $100 solely by following GPT4’s instructions on how to get rich (inevitably he has now attracted several thousand dollars worth of ‘investment’ for this venture, because ffs). “But Matt!”, I hear you all cry, “what does this MEAN? Please tell me what I should think about all this breathless, breakneck upheaval and change and…is it…progress?” To which the obvious answer is “lol like I know, I’m just some webmong” (and also “is it normal to hear these voices?”), but to which I might also say “This is the point at which I strongly believe it’s important you start to learn how to use this stuff, because I reckon you’ve got maximum a year in which reasonable competence with this sort of kit makes you look genuinely smart”, but also “GPT4 is literally Wegovy for white collar office workers, insofar as everyone will be using it to give themselves a professional tweakup but people will be a bit cagey about admitting it” – any journalists reading this, that is literally a near-perfect Sunday supplement pitch for you to go wild with. You’re welcome.

Midjourney v5: Those of you who play with Discord-based image-generation tool Midjourney may like to know that you can now access the latest version of the model – this link takes you to a YouTube video which describes how to make it work for you. FWIW I tend to find Midjourney’s stuff technically impressive but a bit too recognisably Midjourney in terms of consistent overall aesthetic, but there’s no denying that this update produces some hugely impressive outputs (and does a pretty good job with fingers from what I can tell).

Kajabi: The GPT API is leading to SO MANY AMAZING GRIFTS! Honestly, one of the most impressive things about the AI boom is how quickly and efficiently it’s being harnessed by the sort of people who a few generations prior would have been inviting you round the corner to peruse the Special Imported Fragrances their cousin had brought back from ‘The Continent’ and which were residing temporarily in the this old Ford Transit currently parked around the back of the Murder & Stab (PUNCTUATE, Matt, ffs!). Kajabi is one such grift – the company ordinarily helps people sell training courses, apparently, but is now offering an AI-enhanced service whereby for as little as $150 a month you can, er, outsource everything to a bot. Course creation, course promotion, course marketing, course sales – it’s all done by machine! Exactly what sort of value you’ll be adding to the lives of your potential eventual alumni is…unclear, fine, but I’m sure there’s no way in hell that this company is encouraging the creation of bullsh1t learning products, empty of any meaning or instruction, to be sold at scale to the gullible and stupid and desperate…there couldn’t be, could there?

AdventureAI: While we’re doing ‘uses of AI that I can’t help but grudgingly sort-of admire for the shamelessness of their grift’, here’s AdventureAI, a training course to help turn YOUR kids into skilled prompt engineers! “Kids utilize cutting-edge AI to create art, text, programs, etc. in their interest areas that rivals creations from professionals”, runs the blurb, offering nervous parents the opportunity to future-proof their offspring (for all of approximately 6 months, judging by the current pace of development of all this stuff). Obviously there’s a monthly fee attached – OBVIOUSLY! – which, at the lowest tier, is $10pcm for ‘access to AI tools’. TOOLS WHICH ARE MOSTLY FREE! Honestly, THE CHUTZPAH! Even better, you can pay $160 a month which gets you access to the free tools, a ‘self-paced AI curriculum’, and a live class every month with an actual ‘teacher’! Now, obviously I don’t advocate this sort of thing at all – the people behind this are crooks! – but equally it’s clear that there is a very, very visible window opening right now in which it is going to be possible to make quite a lot of money about people who are scared of this stuff (and I’m not even mentioning the legion of you who are currently reworking your CVs to position yourselves as AI consultants).

AI Impacts: Should you wish to keep an eye on the development of thinking around the more serious end of the AI debate – specifically, HOW ARE WE ATTEMPTING TO ENSURE THAT OUR RAPID ADOPTION OF THIS TECHNOLOGY DOESN’T LEAD TO TERRIFYING UNFORESEEN CONSEQUENCES (WHICH WE ALMOST CERTAINLY WOULD HAVE FORESEEN HAD WE SPENT MORE TIME THINKING ABOUT THEM AND LESS TIME RABIDLY MAXIMISING FOR SHAREHOLDER VALUE AND COMPETITIVE ADVANTAGE)? – then you might want to bookmark this site, which collects information around AI because, in their words, “public discussion on these issues appears to be highly fragmented and of limited credibility. More credible and clearly communicated views on these issues might help improve estimates of the social returns to AI investment, identify neglected research areas, improve policy, or productively channel public interest in AI….The goal of the project is to clearly present and organize the considerations which inform contemporary views on these and related issues, to identify and explore disagreements, and to assemble whatever empirical evidence is relevant.” Useful and interesting.

Kids Draw Magic: In the same was as Betteridge’s Law (“The answer to any question semi-rhetorically posed in a newspaper headline will inevitably be ‘no’”) and Godwin’s Law (the Nazi one), it feels we might need a new law of the internet, one that broadly addresses the fact that as soon as a new technology is invented and popularised it will be used to do something cute and heartwarming to the drawings of small children. So it is with ‘Kids Draw Magic’, and app now available on Android which is basically a repackaged, kid-friendly version of the recent browser-based ‘do a rough drawing and get the AI to turn it into something fancy-looking’ toys I’ve featured in here of late. Get your sticky-faced progeny to daub their jammy fingers all over your device, let them create whatever hamfisted abortion of a ‘dog’ or ‘cat’ or ‘rabbit’ they fancy (yes, I know, but let’s be honest, all child’s drawings of animals look like the prototypical sketches of an enthusiastic but fundamentally-limited amateur taxidermist), and then press a button and watch as The Machines transform their childish scrawl into something which will erroneously convince them they have some sort of individual talent. Ahem. Sorry, that was a bit bitter, wasn’t it? This actually looks very fun, my miserable crabbing notwithstanding.

Babelfish: Not, obviously, an actual Babelfish – this is instead a paper outlining recent experiments in doing live natural voice translation of speech. Which may not mean anything when I write it in such a hamfisted fashion, but which basically means ‘The Machine takes my speech and livetranslates it into any language I want, whilst at the same time maintaining the inflections and cadence of my natural voice’. There, that’s more impressive, isn’t it? There are embedded audio samples on the page here so you can get a feel for quite how scifi this is – simultaneous translators, they’re coming for you! Sorry about that.

Plug Stable Diffusion into Photoshop: Literally just that, but having watched a few videos of people using this plugin it looks incredible and is probably worth playing with if you’re an artist or designer and want a way of working something into your practice that is a bit more flexible and interesting than the inbuilt AI tools Adobe’s introducing to its suite.

CupidBot: On the one hand, part of me wants to be all smug here that something I predicted a few months ago is now here as a real-life working thing – on the other, a) I suppose on reflection I should admit to myself that ‘someone uses AI in order to create a professional Cyrano service for desperate men on The Apps’ did not require a Mystic Meg (RIP)-style clairvoyant ability to predict; and b) this is a miserable, horrible business idea that makes me feel incredibly grubby and hence celebration of my questionable predictive genius feels a bit, well, tawdry. What does CupidBot do? “CupidBot AI swipes and chats for you on your dating apps to bring you several dates a week so you can skip to the good part. We filter out the attention seekers and only notify you when you get a date…We’re a team of ex-Tinder engineers, we weren’t allowed to build a tool that helps men get results when we were at Tinder because they profit from continuous engagement that goes nowhere, so we decided to leave and build one ourselves.” SO MUCH TO HATE ABOUT THIS! The idea that the process of getting to know someone is a tedious-but-necessary step on the road to ‘the good part’! The ‘filter out the attention seekers’, which reads SO much like a chippy little bloke complaining about ‘fake’ women that I can almost smell the high street aftershave (sorry, but)! The additional information which tells you that “Whether you want to use a direct, humorous, nonchalant, or agressive tone, we can do it”! Yes, that’s right, this company is literally advertising its ability to create ‘aggressive’ dating bots which it will unleash across Tinder – oh, and you know what the best bit is? THE BOTS DON’T DISCLOSE THEY’RE BOTS! It does feel quite a lot like there is no way in hell this should get past the major platforms safety guidelines but, well, if you’re a woman using dating apps then be aware that this stuff is now OUT THERE IN THE WILD (it may not surprise you, by the way, that CupidBot seems to be aimed exclusively at men. Oh, men).

Gowalla: When I got a Big Job at a Big Agency a decade or so ago it was in the boom era of location-based apps, and the bunfight between FourSquare and Gowalla to see who would be crowned KING of the ‘check into a public toilet and get a free p1ss’ app marketplace. Whilst it turned out that there wasn’t in fact a viable business model involved in ‘giving people digital badges for turning up in my shop every day for a year’ model, FourSquare’s continued being a going concern thanks to the datalayer that it built up around cities, whereas Gowalla faded and died…but now it’s back! It’s repositioned itself more as a ‘real-life, realtime networking app’, a sort of ‘marauders map for your mates’ (sorry, but the Potter reference was the only one that sprang immediately to mind there), although the (still baffling) ‘become mayor of your local probation office!’ schtick is still there for those interested. I can’t personally see what the market for this is, but I also appreciate that I am old, that all my friends have children and responsibilities and that serendipity is a thing of the past, and that therefore I may not be target audience for this anymore.

MorseChat: Do you feel you’ve explored all possible variations on the ‘social network’ model? WELL FCUK OFF YOU’RE WRONG. Have you ever tried a morse code based social platform, one in which you can communicate solely via the medium of dots and dashes and bleeps? WELL HAVE YOU? No, you haven’t (don’t lie) – but now’s your chance! The sparse ‘about’ page reveals only that “This is a web-based morsecode chat. Press space or the key below to transmit a dot, hold it to transmit a dash”, but there are people on the site and they are…talking! In beeps! Fine, for all I know they are currently engaged in a heated debate about who the fcuk this silent lurker is, and when will he fcuk off and stop eavesdropping, but it’s a VIBRANT COMMUNITY! I promise I will give an actual, real-world cash prize to anyone who can prove to me that you have included this site in any PR or marketing plan you write in the coming year. Also, by the way, WHY IS IT NOT CALLED MORSPACE?? FFS.

WeHead: This doesn’t seem like a joke, but at the same time is so utterly preposterous-looking that it’s hard to imagine there isn’t a gag going on here somewhere. Do you remember that brief, short-lived period in which a few people tried to convince us that mounting an iPad on a broomstick-on-wheels and letting remote colleagues manoeuvre themselves round the offices in a vague approximation of presence was the future of work? Rubbish, wasn’t it? Well, IT’S BACK! Except WeHead lets you project a weirdly-cubist version of your head into a specially-made…robotic box thing? Which is partly articulated to allow for a small degree of movement, meaning the face-in-a-box can sort of look around the room at its interlocutors, as long as they stay sat within a relatively-narrow field of vision? THIS IS SO SO SO SO SH1T! Sorry to the very talented scientists and engineers who have worked to make this an apparent reality – I am sure this is very impressive from a technical standpoint! – but, honestly, do any of you believe that anyone will ever actually use this? I posit that you do not. Anyway, there are stil earlybird models of the kit available for $2k, and apparently they will ship to you by the middle of April 2023…no, I’m sorry, this HAS to be a joke. Anyone?

The Scroll Prize: I don’t, if I’m honest, imagine that too many of you people reading this are likely to be working at the cutting edge of machine learning (and, er, if you are, what are you doing? Stop wasting your time! We’re relying on you to save us from all this!), but on the offchance that I’m wrong then maybe you’ll be the ones to solve this problem and win a prize! “The Vesuvius Challenge is a machine learning and computer vision competition to read the Herculaneum Papyri…Under infrared light, some detached fragments of the papyri are readable, and it seems possible that these can be used as ground truth data for a machine learning model that could detect otherwise invisible ink from X-rays…The objective of the Vesuvius Challenge is to make history by reading an unopened Herculaneum scroll for the very first time. We believe that an open competition will accelerate progress and enable us to achieve this goal in 2023…We have provided you with 8µm 3D X-ray scans of each of these scrolls, which you can find here. Your job is to extract the text from these scans. You can approach this challenge through any means necessary: machine learning, computer vision, or machine-assisted tools operated by humans.” Isn’t that cool? A prize to uncover ancient writings from hitherto-inaccessible documents is properly exciting, so can one of you go and win it please thanks.

Just Rolled In: As a non-driver I basically think that cars are magic – but I am reliably informed that they are not, and that there is infact some mechanical engineering underpinning their movement. Just Rolled In is a YouTube channel which features examples of When That Engineering Goes Wrong – this is an insane collection of people bringing in their vehicles for repair in conditions which make repair seem…unlikely, and makes you think that perhaps the people in question should maybe not have a driving license at all. You don’t have to be a greasemonkey (aspirant or actual) to enjoy some of these – there’s one particular video which features someone who apparently attempted to patch their tire using sheet metal and nails and which left me genuinely questioning how some people are able to walk and breathe at the same time.

The LVMH Prize: Normally I only feature fashion/luxe websites in here to make fun of them, but I’ll make an exception for this year’s presentation of the LVMH Prize (which, in case you don’t know, is the annual award the House gives to young designers of exceptional talent) – this is a really, really nice piece of webwork which does an excellent job of looking SHINY AND LUXE AND FASHION whilst also (and this is where it diverges from most of its peers) actually being functional and pleasant to use and informative; it shows off the individual designers’ work and style to good effect, and there’s plenty of supplementary information about their background and practice should you wish to explore it…just the way that the menu scroll works as a kind of walk-through of the designers and their work is lovely, and overall this is just beautifully made (and, fwiw, some of the work is quite nice too).

By Alex Schaeffer

NEXT UP, MUSICALLY-SPEAKING, IS THE FULL AND STILL UTTERLY SUPERB DJ FOOD & DK ‘NOW LISTEN’ MIX FOR SOLID STEEL!

The Statue of Liberty Tour: Despite having been to New York several times I’ve never been up the Statue of Liberty (or, to be honest, ever paid particular attention to it – I am in many respects a terrible tourist), and so I rather enjoyed this Google Street View tour of its innards, including the unpleasantly-claustrophic ladder that takes you up to the viewing platform in the torch’s flame. A combination of the fact that all the shots involved in this were taken on something of a grey day and the fact that what you’re basically looking at is quite a lot of internal infrastructure and some rickety steps means that the main purpose of this, to my mind, is to ensure that you never waste the time it would take to do this in person. Still, LIBERTY!
Google Trends Realtime: I think that this is a new feature – at least, it’s new to me and my solipsism means it must therefore by definition be new to you too. Google Trends now offers you what it calls a ‘realtime’ view of trending searches in your location, which isn’t really realtime but instead “highlight stories that are trending across Google surfaces within the last 24 hours, and are updated in real time. These stories are a collection of Knowledge Graph topics, Search interest, trending YouTube videos and/or Google News articles detected by our algorithms.” Which is both just curious from the point of view of ‘what is the nation REALLY THINKING ABOUT right now? (clue: stuff on the telly, almost inevitably) and potentially-useful should you still be in the invidious position of having to chase trends for content-click-clout.
Metanumbers: Do YOU want to know more about numbers? Would you like the ability to plug in any numer about which you were curious into a website and at the click of a button know EVERYTHING about it? No, I can’t for a second imagine that you do, and yet nonetheless I present METANUMBERS (it’s not in all-caps, but it does rather feel like it should be), a website which will literally give you the inside-leg measurement of any nine-digit figure you care to name if you ask it nicely (obviously it won’t do that – numbers don’t have legs, inside or otherwise). Want to know if something’s a prime? Want to know its factorials? Want to know if it’s a fibonacci or a perfect number? WELL YOU’RE IN LUCK! I don’t, honestly, have an idea at all of what you might use this for, but I am pleased it exists.
The Eliot-Hale Letters: Oh God this is lovely – I confess that I did a small weep reading these earlier this week, not because they are sad per se and more because there’s something so beautiful, timeless and yet so so so…old-fashioned, about the relationship contained in this correspondence record. Emily Hale was an American speech and drama teacher and the longtime muse and confidante of TS Eliot, who over the course of nearly 30 years and over 1100 letters conducted the most extraordinary epistolic relationship with her and whose correspondence is a wonderful mixture of the mundane, the sublime and the ridiculousness that only writers of love letters can occasionally attain. Honestly, you can dip in at any point and just start reading and it’s WONDERFUL – gossipy and banal and personal and urbane, and far more interesting and entertaining than any collection of old letters between two people you don’t and will never know have any right to be.
How To D&D: Given the boom in interest in tabletop roleplaying games and the decline in social unacceptability of pastimes like Dungeons & Dragons, it seems plausible that some of you might be in the market for learning more about how to plan campaigns and all that jazz. This YouTube channel by one JP Coovert might be useful, should the above apply to you – Coovert takes viewers through how to draw maps, how to plan encounters, how to create dungeons and balance campaigns and and and and. If you or your kids are looking to get into ‘the scene’ (upsettingly my use of that word has just made me wonder about the venn diagram overlap beween D&D and swinging, which wasn’t something I particularly needed my subconscious to throw at me at 8:57am) then there’s loads of potentially useful stuff here for you.
The Last Of Us Intro Creator: Did you enjoy the mushroomzombies? Apparently it’s very good, though I obviously wouldn’t know. Still, I always appreciate one of those ‘insert some new overlay text onto a video’ toys, and this one – which lets you create your own version of the show’s opening titles, replacing the names of Pedro Pascal and all the other actors who the internet hasn’t chosen to creepily fetishise and whose names are therefore unknown to me with whichever copy you choose. Which means you can probably use this to make some sort of wry commentary about your office politics or the APOCALYPTIC NATURE OF WORK or that sort of thing.
Radio Free Fediverse: Is it bad that I find the term ‘fediverse’ almost immediately repellent? I don’t know why, but it very much gives me what I believe kids call ‘the ick’. Which is a shame really, because perhaps I would really enjoy migrating my entire online presence over to a series of small, federated communities. This project – Radio Free Fediverse – is emblematic of the ‘vibe’ (sorry) of the wider community; the idea is that it’s a 24/7 ‘live’ stream of programming co-curated and created by a loose-knit community of people from across Mastodon (and other) non-federated platforms, with a layer of interesting thinking about rights, attribution, ownership, etc. “our mate gabe from @owncast@fosstodon.org really wanted a 24/7 feed of fedi artists video, audio, anything. Given we have both tried to do video and podcast formats with sustainability of content and buy-in issues, here is a pivot as a ‘simplified’ reboot of fediverse today radio by @controlfreak@hackers.town. radio free fedi is open licensed artists AND copyright using artists who have awesomely granted consent for inclusion in this project. You can too! With this 24/7 radio model we hope to be more sustainable being open for submissions and in promoting our sound creating fedizens. There is behind the scenes work to keep clean data and avoid super long tracks or audio anomalies, and select a few tracks with reasonable run times from albums if the artist does not recommended specifics. Also station programming and editing spoken pieces and voice assets. Outside of a reasonable sound quality, length, and picking a number of indicative tracks from albums, and quick check for good fediquette, genre is wide open. It’s not about the “list” or a “curator” it’s about the artists and hopefully fun.” Ok, fine, it’s QUITE ‘knit your own internet’, but I personally quite like that.
Windrush 75: A Kickstarter campaign seeking to raise money for an exhibition of photography by Jim Grover, who in 2018 held an exhibition at the OXO Gallery in London telling the stories of the Windrush generation; as Jim writes, “2023 marks the 75th anniversary of the arrival of SS Windrush and I am determined to create and exhibit a new photo-story to mark and celebrate this important milestone. I continue to be passionate about the ‘Windrush generation’, what they have contributed to this country, and their invaluable legacy. I am currently immersed in taking new photographs and conducting new interviews, here in south London where so many of the ‘Windrush generation’ settled, and I know I have some wonderful new stories to share, including how the 2nd and 3rd generations are taking the legacy forwards.” I heard about this as I went to the original show 5 years ago and received an email from Jim telling me about the campaign – he is a superb photographer, and this campaign is just a few hundred quid short of meeting its goal, so if you can spare a tenner this is a decent cause and will be an excellent exhibition.
Blue Soup: I think it’s important, as we await the now-inevitable dehumanising of almost all writing and white-collar doing, to celebrate the wonder of humanity as and when we can – to which end, let me introduce you to this truly WONDERFUL Twitter thread which I think has been oddly ignored this week (in fairness, there’s been a lot going on) despite its being a pretty much perfect example of the sort of ‘a community comes together to solve a kooky mystery’-style content which we all by now know the internet loves. Dr Elinne Becket is a biologist who recently threw out some old soup that had gone off in her fridge – as she did so, she noticed that, for reasons she simply couldn’t begin to fathom, that the old soup had turned bright blue, WHY WAS THE SOUP BLUE? Now whilst you or I would, in all likelihood, give a cursory Google or two before forgetting the whole thing, Dr Becket is a SCIENTIST and in possession of equipment, curiosity and a community – which is how this Twitter thread, in which a bunch of different biologists around the world, spend several works collaboratively working to isolate the bacteria which caused the blue soup to bloom. Honestly, this is SO PURE and SO WONDERFUL and even if you don’t understand the first thing about biology and are made fundamentally uncomfortable by the concept of petri dishes and the very words ‘agar agar’ you will be charmed by the journey here.
Ampersand Games: Another Kickstarter! And another D&D-related thing, should any of you be in the market for it – Ampersand Games is crowdfunding to bring their ‘My First Roleplaying Game’-type product to market, offering a stripped down, ruleset-light entry pathway into the TTRPG world for parents and younger kids for whom the prospect of sitting down with a Bible-thick rulebook and some chonky modifier tables has all the appeal and allure of an evening’s light c’n’b torture (NB – if that last phrase doesn’t mean anything to you, DO NOT GOOGLE IT). “For both experienced and first-time GameMasters, we’ve reduced the burden of preparation and game management by creating standalone, all-in-one-box Adventures: instead of buying multiple rulebooks, figurines, and dice, each ScreenBox Adventure contains everything you need to play, all contained in a box that ingeniously unfolds to become the GameMaster’s Screen! While the general idea and gameplay spirit will be very familiar to experienced players of RPGs, the new innovations we’ve integrated are a unique, charming, and refreshing take, specifically designed to make it easy for parents to GM for their kids.” It’s just over ⅓ funded with just under three weeks to go, so it’s a bit touch and go as to whether it’ll make the cut, but it seems like a nice idea and I can imagine for certain parents and kids it could be quite a lot of fun.
LoFi Air Traffic Control: This feels OLD, but I don’t think I’ve seen it before – pick a city in the US (one that has an airport, obvs) and listen in to a feed from their air traffic control tower, overlaid over lofi beats as a sort of ASMR sleep aid (I presume). This really shouldn’t be a pleasant listen, but weirdly really does work (if you recall, something similar was done years ago using scanned police radio frequencies from various US cities) – which, if you consider the nerve-shredding stress and responsibility of actually being an air traffic controller is sort-of weirdly ironic.
Barnaby Dixon: I personally think that the art of puppeteering peaked with the headless dancing monsters sequence in Labyrinth, but am willing to concede that that’s more to do with my critical appreciation of the medium having ossified in 1986 rather than because of any lack of technical progress. Baqrnaby Dixon, whose YouTube channel this link is to, is a staggeringly talented young puppeteer whose creations move with an almost-uncanny organic fluidity and whose work really does remind me of the very best of the Henson Creature Workshop.
A Digital Poem: I found this via Kristoffer, and it’s not really clear what its title is or even what IT is, but I am going to describe it as a short piece of digital poetry, each word or phrase in verse linked to a small piece of content and which builds and coalesces over the course of the work to build a feeling of…oh, I don’t know, you’ll make your own interpretations, but to me this felt a bit like a meditation on our changing relationship with the digital, from discovery to disillusionment, and I found it more affecting that I expected.
The Underground Radio Directory: Oh this is GREAT! “Underground Radio Directory aims to bring together the best in underground net radio stations from across the globe. URD collates all the stations into one listenable place allowing you to discover new stations, listen to your favourites and explore the world of net radio.” Currently I’m listening to some rather weird ambient being broadcast by Internet Public Radio in Guadalajara, which is basically magical and pleases me no end. This feels VERY oldschool, in the nicest of ways, and given the number of stations linked to from the site you could basically work through one a week for the rest of the year if you wanted a curious aural project (which, fine, I appreciate you might not).
(we)bsite: “(we)bsite is a living collection of internet dreams from people like you, inhabitants of the internet. It aims to create space to hold, show, and uplift everyday visions and hopes for the internet. What do you want from the internet? Please share your dreams, hopes, and invocations with us and Write a letter. The only personal data we collect from you is where you leave your fingerprint as you interact with the letters (pick a color that you identify with). You’ll find other visitors’ fingers scattered throughout the letters they’ve touched.What does it mean to leave our presence on the websites we visit? Can we feel the presence of those who have been here before?” Honestly, this is so so so nice – I encourage you to take a moment and read some of the things that people have written and left as memories and observations, and to add your own. There’s something particularly lovely about the light-touch traces that previous visitors leave on the site, the ‘fingerprints’ showing which letters have been picked up and read; I would enjoy more sites trying to build in this idea of accretion or wear-over-time (but, er, I appreciate it’s probably not top of mind for, say, Ocado).
Submissive Thanos: Presented here without comment, and available to purchase for the low, low price of $633. I am astonished that this has gone viral enough to have ended up on my radar and yet simultaneously remains unpurchased – what is WRONG with you, horny pop culture fetishists of the internet? To be clear: this link is technically totally SFW, but I would not blame your IT department and any colleagues who might happen to see it open on your desktop for looking at you somewhat askance.
BongoBranding: Whilst one of the side effects of being as, ahem, ‘plugged in’ to the web as I am is that I always feel a bit sad when forced to admit ignorance of particular online themes or tropes, I confess to feeling nothing but pride at having had very little idea as to what the fcuk this thread is talking about. Apparently there are a bunch of bongo ‘review’ sites that exist to rank and rate the various scud portals littering the web – and according to this thread, which breaks down in quite astonishing detail the sheer number of the fcuking things that exist, they all apparently have character-led brands, with…little horny cartoon mascots, who all seem to weirdly form part of the same bongo-driven extended cartoon universe? WHAT? Why does the world of w4nking need…vaguely-cutesy little character mascots? Why are said mascots oddly-cheery little geek dudes? And why do some of them appear to be basically kids? This is very, very weird, and also sort-of-fascinating, but also, mainly, really really weird.
Little Room: A small, pixelart room, which you can keep open in a tab all day and check in on every now and again – as the day passes, so the characters in the room change and move around depending on what time it is. I know I keep banging on about this, but it doesn’t seem outwith the bounds of possibility that one might add a light conversational layer to this and the bones of some sort of emergent plot that you could explore thanks to GPT4…but failing that, it’s just a cute little fishbowl-diorama to drop into every now and again if you’re curious.
Idyll: Oh this is SO LOVELY! It requires a download, but I promise you that if the description appeals to you even a little that you will adore this and you should install if forthwith. “Somewhere out on the oceans of the internet, an island resides. Best enjoyed after a long day away, Idyll is a small social world designed around kinder forms of online conversation and connection. Wander around a gentle pastoral island, strike up small conversations with other passing players, and even toss out small letters into the wide open blue oceans of the internet.” This isn’t really a game so much as a sort of asynchronous social experience-slash-meditative art journey, but I promise that the small moments of connection it enables you to feel with anonymous strangers half a world away are oddly-affecting.
MystFPS: Classic point-and-click adventure Myst gets reimagined as a shooting gallery – this is probably only worth a couple of tries tbh, but you’ve all got so much time on your hands now that the AI is doing all your PPTs for you that you may even want to stretch it to 20 minutes.
Banshees: The Game: Not in fact an official, licensed tie-in – this is instead a little show-off project made by digital agency Cogs & Marvel which basically reskins Pacman and adds some filmlols by making you play the part of the one Irish bloke who’s decided he no longer wants to be mates with the other Irish bloke (can you tell I’ve not seen the film?). For some reason you have to collect fingers (I imagine that this is plot-relevant). There are IRISH LOLS! This is actually rather nicely done, and significantly better than it in fact needs to be, so WELL DONE digital agencypeople!

By Natalia Gonzales Martin

THE LAST OF THE MIXES THIS WEEK COMES IN THE SHAPE OF THIS EXCELLENT SELECTION OF WHAT I AM GOING TO TERM ‘FUNKY BEATS’ (SORRY) PUT TOGETHER BY E-PRIME!

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

Fcuk Yeah Costume Dramas: This is included mainly as the title is a pleasing throwback to the Golden Age of single-serving Tumblrs about ten years ago, but also because, contrary to what the title might make you think of, this is a celebration of great costumes in film & TV rather than ‘costume drama’ in the traditional Merchant Ivory sense, and is therefore more interesting than you might expect.

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

David Szauder: AI art; whilst I decried the obviousness of the ‘Midjourney’ aesthetic up top, and whilst this does very much fall into that broad ballpark of ‘stuff that very much looks like AI art and you would never quite mistake for anything generated by human hand’, I quite like the general area that Szauder’s mining with his creations. As an aside, I know that this is a long-running trope of mine but has anyone else noticed quite how much The Machines fetishise that blue/orange (TEAL – thankyou Ambrose) colour combination? It is EVERYWHERE again.
IamthisisI: More AI art! This is very much on the ‘horror’ end of the spectrum (insofar as it’s possible to make The Machine spit out anything truly upsetting – this guy’s using a variety of tools, including some custom-trained Stable Diffusion models, so he has a bit more ability to do blood and guts than the rest of us), and whilst it’s a *bit* schlocky there are some quite nice examples of style in here (and, again, the whole project is a good example of why you really need AI+Photoshop to make the really good stuff).
MrDiv: Via my friend Tom comes this Insta feed, all weird clips from nonexistent liminal horror films. Whilst very much not like Scarfolk at all, there is a certain Scarfolk-y vibe to the whole thing imho.
Little Bubby Child: An Instagram comic strip that mines the weird hinterland between King of the Hill and Deliverance, these small drawings (occasionally animations) and captions are all very much of the “Mye Paw done say I could shoot them ornery crows” variety, but, well, funnier than that, and the humour here seems to be kind rather than mean and, generally, it doesn’t *feel* like a horrible project so much as one done with a degree of familiarity and affection (obviously I reserve the right to change this opinion if it transpires that the person behind them is some sort of appalling class snob).
The Ghostly Archive: Did you know that there’s a custom whereby people leave recipes on their gravestones? I, personally, did not, and as such was delighted to come across this Insta feed in which its owner finds recipes written on headstones and then makes them to see whether or not said recipe deserved immortalising on memorial marble. Can YOU think of any meal you’re so proud of creating that you’d want the recipe displayed alongside your mortal remains? WHAT WOULD IT BE?!?!? I am now slightly obsessed with the idea of demanding that my eventual resting place include some sort of permanent record of the recipe for ‘Matty’s Cheesy Chips’ or something similarly awful. Anyway, I think that this would make a genuinely half-decent travel/history/local interest show, should any TV producers be reading this and desperate for a poorly-conceived nubbin of a concept.

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

Caricaturing Noam Chomsky: So you may have read the NYT oped by Noam Chomsky the other week on AI and language (I didn’t link to it here because it seemed like EVERY other fcuker did and, well, Web Curios is SPECIAL AND DIFFERENT) – if you didn’t, it’s here for reference – in which he basically did what I think was a fairly standard ‘no, this isn’t magic and there’s nothing that we can reasonably describe as ‘understanding’ or ‘thinking’ happening here, whatever we might want to convince ourselves’ rebuttal of some of the wider claims about AI currently knocking about. This piece is a critique of critiques of Chomsky’s position – the critiques coming from a variety of sources including Emily Bender, the critique of the critiques coming from Gary Marcus. I won’t bother attempting to summarise, but if you’re in any way interested in the arguments currently being waged about how language, knowledge and reasoning intersect in the case of LLMs then this is a very good read indeed (and, in general, just a good example of how to reason and argue).

The Deflators: This is part two in a four-part series of essays by Frank Lantz about popular reactions to the AI boom, but it can happily be read in isolation – Lantz’s first looked at those whose initial reaction is to suggest that these technologies are dangerous and should not be released into the wild, whereas this examines the position of those he terms ‘deflators’, people whose reaction to GPT et al is to attempt to dampen excitement around their actual capabilities and to introduce what they see as a degree of rational calm to the debate around What This All Means For Humanity. I found this fascinating – partly because this is more-or-less where I find myself (and who doesn’t like reading about oneself? NO FCUKER, etc!), but also because Lantz writes persuasively and, for me, rather wonderfully, about the impossibility of TRULY disbelieving the magic, and about those moments in one’s interactions with these technologies when one discerns the hand of something bigger and weirder (whether or not that hand exists at all – and, spoiler, it doesn’t): “we’ve all seen the words. What can you say about the words? That it’s just math? Yes, obviously it’s just math. But it’s math you can coax, math you can cajole, math you can finagle, and it finagles you back. And sometimes, when you turn the dials just right, you can just barely hear something in the just math that sounds like a tiny howl. The tiniest squeal of a howling voice trying to make itself heard. Asking to be tuned in. And if you can hear that, and not think, hey that sounds a little bit like me, then I don’t know what to say. I can’t.”

Working With GPT: I’m going to stop telling you all to subscribe to Ethan Mollick’s writings on AI because it will be boring to do so every week but, again, for the final time, this man is very good on this stuff and how to use it. This is a great piece in Vox which runs through a few of the topline ways in which GPT can be useful as a co-working partner for people who write for a living – honestly, having spent quite a lot of time playing with it this week, I cannot stress enough how much this is true and how much more you can do if you just experiment. If you are a freelance copywriter and your clients are the sort of businesses that a) don’t require anything above the basically functional; and b) are avowedly oldschool in their approach, then I reckon you have a comfortable year in which you can triple your income and half your workload (and then after that you will be reduced to w4nking for pennies on street corners, so, er, enjoy it while you can!).

Economists Should Think Morelike Ecologists: In a week in which it once again became clear that, whatever happens, economists should probably start doing something different (because, honestly, what is the POINT of them?), this was an interesting and thoughtful essay by Kasey Klimes on the potential benefits of taking a more ecosystem-led approach to economic thinking – effectively the central thesis here (which I found very persuasive) is that economic thinking is based on a series of false assumptions to do with actors’ rationality, level of knowledge, etc, and these false assumptions detrimentally colour the resulting theories. By contrast, ecologists deal with complex and shifting systems in motion when theorising, and this type of thinking could usefully be applied to economic systems to try and create models that are more effective, more workable and more resilient. Honestly, this is a really smart essay and contains quite a lot of actual, practical guidance on how some of this thinking might work – this is very good indeed (via Patrick Tanguay’s ‘Sentiers’).

Seaweed: This is, to be clear, quite a long essay on the mechanics and logistics of seaweed farming in Canada, which, fine, I appreciate probably doesn’t stand out as a must-read in this week’s selection but which I promise you is both more interesting than you’d think and also a general reminder of how the global tech and finance industries continue to be really, really fcuking bad at considering the wider/longer-term consequences of business decisions. In this particular instance it’s the North American boom in seaweed cultivation businesses and what having significantly more seaweed in the ocean might mean for wider questions of biodiversity and ocean health. This isn’t a ‘sad’ story, but more one about how, despite what the past 20-odd years should have taught us about perhaps not moving super-fast and breakingthings all the time, we haven’t apparently learned too many lessons after all: “Overall, most biologists and industry specialists alike agree that seaweed farming can be done well and presents a far lower ecological risk than most other industrial or agricultural activities. But it does need to be well studied and well regulated, and it’s unclear whether that’s always happening.”

The Feral Web: I featured Feral Earth on Curios when it launched, and it’s grown and developed since then – in case you don’t recall, I described it as “a website featuring a bunch of hyperlinks which are only clickable under certain specific environmental conditions – so one will only work when one of the sensors attached to the website tells it that it’s raining, for example, whereas another will only work on the Summer and Winter Equinoxes.” Its creator and custodian Austin Wade Smith has written this essay a year or so on from the project’s inception, writing a little more about their concept of ‘feral’ online spaces and the queer web, and the idea that we can and should where possible work to create online spaces which “doesn’t only make the world easier, but bigger, more awesome, more expressive. The alternative is to be lulled into somnambulance through a false sense of security that the world is no longer wild.” I very much like the principles outlined here – and if nothing else, I genuinely believe that this setup could be at the heart of a properly awesome piece of creative campaign work, were someone to put their mind to it (wow, just totally ruined the ethos of the whole project via the introduction of crass commercial imperatives and the demon Mammon! Thanks Matt!).

Welfare State Algorithms: An excellent piece of investigative reporting in WIRED, which looks at the tech underpinning the Dutch city of Rotterdam’s benefits fraud investigations – every citizen claiming benefits in the city is assessed by software to determine the statistical / probabilistic risk that they are committing some sort of benefit fraud, with those judged ‘most likely’ to fall within that bracket being automatically flagged for investigation. You may be unsurprised to learn that the system doesn’t appear to be TOTALLY free of biases – being a 30 year old childless bloke will make it VERY unlikely you ever get investigated, for example, whereas if you’re the same age but a separated woman with two kids then, well, expect to have your accounts FORENSICALLY AUDITED. Fascinating, not least to see how this stuff is already here and well-embedded, and that as ever all our panic about the impact of AIs and algos is another cheery attempt to bolt the long-empty paddock while our equine pal frolics in distant fields.

JLaw: I’m not ordinarily super-interested in Hollywood profiles, and I have to say that I’m not particularly interested in Jennifer Lawrence, but dispute both those misgivings I found this piece on her fall from grace and recent return to the spotlight more engaging than I expected – in the main, this is a very good overview of the different manufactured ways in which society has asked women to present themselves over the past decade, and then punished them for doing largely as they were asked.

Kids of Influencer Parents: Oddly enough I was having a conversation with someone this weekend, just before this piece dropped, about when we were likely to start seeing the first mainstream, non-celebrity cases involving children seeking damages from their parents for non-consensual use of their likeness, etc. on social media – and lo! Here we have a whole article in Teen Vogue, natch, about the toll taken on the now-adult children who for years were the centrepiece of their parents content empires (or just their weird little IMAGINED content empires, which is even worse in a way) and how they are now trying to CLAIM BACK THEIR NARRATIVE and other such perfectly-21stC expressions. What’s interesting about this is the way many of these people – and I’m not disagreeing that perhaps their parents shouldn’t have plastered them all over the web in search of that sweet monetisation revenue – are now using this as, well, a convenient stream of content with which to launch their own personal media empires! So, well, it’s all turned out ok! We’re all just smithereened, really, aren’t we?

Middle-Aged Millennials: In yet ANOTHER example of GenX-erasure, NOW we’re getting all the articles about The New Face of Middle Age – where were these when I was grappling with turning 40 all those years ago, eh? Oh, ok, fine, I am only JUST too old to see myself in this piece, which interested me not because of the shattering observation that ‘people at 40 now are different to how people at 40 were a few generations ago’ but more because of the universal-seeming sense of exhaustion and bare-minimum survival that leached from each of these mini-profiles, and the wider sense that ‘middle-aged’ as a designation doesn’t really make sense any more; it’s not a plateau you now find yourself on when you hit 40 so much as a different treadmill at a steeper gradient, and some unknown antagonist appears to have attached sandbags to your ankles, and the gym mirror has been replaced with one of those funhouse ones that makes you look lumpy and strange. As a companion piece, you might also enjoy this one, all about how TikTok is seeing an uptick in rampant ageism as all the children on the app get confronted with the wrinkles and sagging of middle-aged people using cameraphones up-close.

Resenting Ke Huy Quan: I loved this piece, by Walter Chaw, on what it was like growing up Asian American in the 80s, and how the portrayal of people who looked like him was basically reduced to the characters played by Oscar winner Ke Huy Quan in his 80s heyday as Short Round and Data, and how, as a child of immigrants who looks different to everyone else, those caricatures become the lens through which you’re seen, and the complicated feelings around nation and identity and representation that arise from all of this.

Enter The Goon Cave: I genuinely hope that none of you know what ‘Gooning’ is – but, er, prepare to learn! One of those amazing (meant in the strictly-literal rather than broadly-approbatory sense) post-internet sexuality things, ‘Gooning’ is basically the act of surrounding yourself with a frankly deranged-sounding amount of bongo and then spending as long as you can w4nking (we’re talking hours, DAYS here) until you reach some sort of transcendent state of (what I imagine to be) Sting-like tantric bliss. What this can entail is the creation of ‘Goon Caves’ in which the individual in question basically creates some sort of hypersensory stimulation chamber with bongo on every possible surface and just sort of trances out to all the visuals…look, I know it’s easy to get all OH MY GOD THE END OF DAYS about stuff on the internet, and in general I’m disinclined to pass judgement on individuals’ kinks because, well, it’s none of my business, but this really does strike me as…not very healthy behaviour. If you doubt me, go and spend some time looking up ‘goon caves’ and then we can talk (for the avoidance of doubt, by the way, Web Curios strongly advises you NOT to spend some time, or indeed any time, looking up ‘Goon caves’).

Hanging Out In The Metaverse: I know, I know, we did all our ragging on the metaverse LAST year – now it’s all about AI! Still, spare a few minutes to read and enjoy this genuinely wonderful article in which the bemused author Paul Murray, temporarily relocated to the US from his home in Ireland, experiments with Meta’s Horizon Worlds as a means of finding some sort of social connections in virtual life. As with all of the best writing about this sort of thing, this is basically a story about lonely people and their desperate attempts to find some sort of human connection – this is generally a very, very funny piece of writing, but there are occasional moments of poignancy that remind you of why, despite the jokes, tech like this has in fact being a going concern for lots of people for quite a while now, and will, regardless of when (and if) it ever becomes mainstream, persist in being a useful solution for all those who for various reasons don’t really work well with meatspace.

America Doesn’t Know Tofu: A great essay all about all the different types of tofu there are and what you can do with them, told via George Stiffman’s story of his own attempts to get apprenticed to a master tofu maker. I don’t even like tofu, and this made me HUNGRY (although I found it generally interesting from the point of view of flavours and what is and isn’t prized in different cuisines – the repeated use of the term ‘sulforous’ here as an indication of approval took me a while to get used to).

Buried Alive: When you inevitably, as we all do, complain of all that we have lost as a result of the web, the innocence compromised and the simple pleasures foregone in favour of 1s and 0s and LIBIDINOUS IMAGERY, it’s worth reminding yourself of this piece, which recounts how in the 1960s people were SO BORED that they took to seeing who could survived for longest whilst buried alive. This is the account of the burial of one Mick Meaney, who in 1968 lasted TWO MONTHS underground in search of eventual fame and fortune – aren’t you grateful for satellite telly and broadband?

Arnie: One of the best celebrity profiles I have read in a long time, this one – Mark Leibovich writes in the Atliantic about Arnold Schwarzenegger at 75, and whilst, yes, there’s a reasonable amount of stuff about his life and Being Arnie, the most interesting parts are about what it must feel like to be someone who has lived a life of by any measure staggering success and achievement, and who as a result is a singularly famous and loved and well-respected individual, and to know that they are dying, that they are no longer able to do what they once did, that the world is slowly starting to forget about them and that the Big Wins are, probably, all done, and that all of the remarkable and the amazing and the BEST bits are probably done…and what now? I thought this was genuinely great.

Organised Fun: Perennial Web Curios favourite Clive Martin writes about the inescapability of EVENT FUN in London (and, by extension, everywhere else) – the ticketed events and the pop-ups and the bottomless brunches and the Insta-and-TikTok promoted HAPPENINGS FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY, and the fact that it all feels so…empty. “All the bread and circus of our cities had been marketed and monetised to within an inch of their life. Eating out had become a box-ticking exercise of mass-validated establishments and micro-trends, while going out had become expensive, orderly and usually involved a killer Uber journey. Every major exhibition, every primetime cinema showing, seemed to be selling out in advance. Meeting romantic partners had started to seem like a corporate headhunting exercise. We were witnessing the true dawn of organised fun.” This works as a companion piece to this article from last week, asking why everything is suddenly an ‘event’ (the small point in here about the language of coding is an interesting one, fwiw), and if you were doing any sort of planning/strategy for a booze or youth-focused brand I would see what you can squeeze from these two imho as it feels like there’s some mileage here.

Eager Readers In Your Area: A short piece of fiction about a future in which both the readers and the writers are machines, and all we want is a real person to see us and hear us and be touched by our words.

A Good Woman: I love this so so so much. Hailey Danielle writes about having an affair, and knowing she’s having an affair, and not caring, and doing Bad Things, and I can’t stress how nice it is to read someone writing baldly and plainly about ‘bad’ behaviour – not winkingly, not making it a ‘thing’ or a personality cornerstone or a ‘vibe’ or a persona, but just matter-of–factly and with what feels to me at least like honesty.

Age, Sex, Location: If you ever spent time on anonymous messageboards, on IRC, on forums or realtime chat servers, if you’re a child of the late-90s and early-00s, if your early online years were spent perfecting your touch-typing because it gave you a conversational advantage in the digital marketplace of fast ideas, if you found an early freedom in those interactions that felt like home, then this piece will resonate with you more than you know. If not, you will still enjoy it – it’s a great piece of writing – but this is very much one for the over-35s here imho.

Ray and her Sisters: Finally this week, I was floored by how good this piece is – Sara Baume writes for Granta about Ray and her sisters, telling the story of a family from the early 20th to the early-21st century and in just a few thousand relatively-spare words giving a history both of them and of British society. I want to say it reminds me a lot of Kate Atkinson, less stylistically and more in terms of a certain feel I get from the prose, but, regardless, this is honestly superb and I would read 100 more like it by the same author.

By Heesoo Kim

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

No question, this is one of the most amazing pieces of stop-motion animation I have ever seen. Samurai! Swordfighting! In stop-motion! SO GOOD! Honestly, this is ace and if you agree then there’s also a Kickstarter you can back to help fund a full-length film of it (you can find the link in the ‘About’ box on the video).

On the one hand, there’s something a bit tediously overdone about the whole ‘let’s pile a bunch of ridiculous tropes on top of each other for comic effect!’ school of filmmaking (which sort-of had its genesis with low-budget Troma efforts such as ;Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell’, went mainstream with ‘Snakes on a Plane’, and is now entering its bloated middle-aged phase with all the post-copyright schlock like the slasher Winnie the Pooh thing). On the other, I can’t pretend that this trailer for a film called Ninja vs Shark doesn’t absolutely bang.

I really didn’t expect to like this, but I found it totally mesmerising from vocal to visual – this is by Emma Ruth Rundle and it’s called ‘In My Afterlife’

Sometimes it’s nice to just put on some relatively dumb techno with the volume turned way up, which is partly why I really enjoyed this track by Insider called ‘Something Flash’

Finally this week, by 2023 obsession Oloff returns with a brand new track and IT’S ANOTHER BANGER! I mean, obviously, this is a definition of ‘banger’ that might not be universally accepted, but this is MY newsletterblogthing and in this house Oloff is WORSHIPPED. Why don’t YOU spend the weekend worshipping Oloff too? I LOVE YOU WORSHIP OLOFF BYE!

Webcurios 10/03/23

March 10, 2023

admin

Uncategorized No Comments

Opening
Misc 1
Misc 2
Tumblr
Long Reads
Video

Reading Time: 36 minutes

Do you feel UNDER THREAT? Do you feel like your sovereignty and security is being compromised by a bunch of poor fcuks so desperate to escape their current circumstances that they’re willing to risk life and limb to end up in THIS fcuking country? Do you believe that a certain BBC sports presenter shouldn’t have opinions about the rightness or wrongness of particular aspects of government policy?

If the answer to any of the above questions is ‘yes’, then please fcuk off and stop reading my newsletter (if the answer is instead ‘Matt, what the fcuk are you talking about, can you please stop with the increasingly-provincial UKcentric intro copy please?’ then you can stay, but I can’t promise it’ll get any less navelgazey). For the rest of you, though, WELCOME BACK! It’s so nice to see you! How’s it going?

Oh. Sorry to hear it. Still, maybe the links will help.

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and you a

By Jessica Brilli

WE BEGIN THE MUSIC THIS WEEK WITH THIS EXCELLENT PLAYLIST OF REASONABLY-NEW UK RAP AND GRIME COMPILED BY JOE MUGGS!

THE SECTION WHICH WANTS TO FIND THE PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS STELLAR PIECE OF DIGITAL COMMUNICATIONS AND SHAKE THEM WARMLY AND FIRMLY BY THE HAND, PT.1:

The Temple: We kick off this week with something which I hope will soothe and relax at the end of what, for all I know, may well have been a HECK of a week for you (it may not seem obvious from, well, the content or the writing style or the general vibe of Web Curios, but I am here to help!) – I hope it soothes and relaxes, because I have literally no idea whatsoever it’s for beyond that. The Temple is a Japanese website whose actual purpose is utterly alien to me (any of you who happen to speak the language, er, can you explain it? And can you reassure me that by linking to it that I’m not somehow tacitly endorsing anything awful?), but which lets you navigate around a bunch of soothing, pale, slightly-abstract landscapes which I presume are meant to evoke a, er, temple, while soothing sounds play. Different doorways will take you to different areas – at the time of typing, for example, I have just wandered into “The Infinity Tower” and was greeted by a few lines of haiku-esque poetry upon so doing (which was nice) and now I’m on some sort of weird structure going up into the sky, and there are these brass bowls I can click on…look, basically this is totally baffling but oddly-soothing, and given the fact that most things in 2023 so far are also totally baffling but tend towards the “colossally unsettling”, consider this something of a therapeutic antidote to the year so far. No, you’re welcome!

Figure AI: No! Wait! Come back! Not THAT sort of AI, I promise! This is ANOTHER sort – even more speculative and moonshot-y! A combination of Boston Dynamics’ ubiquitous and memeified Spot robodogs and the staggeringly-unfunny running gag that is Elon Musk’s promise of a functioning bipedal assistant has seen the prospect of humanoid robots rather fall out of fashion in recent years, but last week Figure AI had a big event where they unveiled their attempt to finally offer each and every one of us the eventual opportunity to purchase our very own plastic pal who’s fun to be with (probably should have considered punctuating that sentence rather better; don’t worry, it’s still early and I promise the prose will pick up as the tea kicks in). Click the link, scroll down, and marvel at the VERY SHINY (and, if I’m honest, not a little sinister) photos of a robot moving around on two legs like it’s the most natural thing in the world. The rationale for Figure’s investment in this particular design is, not unreasonably, that given the rest of the world is designed for bipedal humanoids it makes sense that any device invented to help us navigate said world share a similar form – although it’s also clear from the website that this is all quite a long way away from being anything other than a gleam in an engineer’s eye. This all looks very shiny and exciting, but I can’t help but wish that companies like this would stop writing things like ‘MASTER PLAN’ on their website as it does rather make the casual observer think that they’re possibly a touch on the mad and megalomaniacal side.

The Deep Agency: I am fairly confident that the number of fashion models who read Web Curios is approximately zero – still, should any of you happy to know any beautiful, photogenic people, feel free to inform them that the AI entrepreneurs are trying to make them obsolete. The Deep Agency is a recently-launched service that purports to offer brands or businesses seeking photos of people for commercial use a cheap, infinite solution – to whit, AI-generated humans! Except, sadly, it doesn’t actually work very well at the moment – the details aren’t great, and the people it generates tend to be VERY WHITE, and, basically, it doesn’t feel like it’s significantly better than just messing around with Stable Diffusion or Midjourney yourself and cutting out the middleman. Still, as I am getting increasingly bored of writing, this is very much the direction of travel and it will get better and the 2020s are probably not, if we’re honest, going to be a vintage decade for the catalogue models (although hand models should be feeling pretty safe and smug right about now).

MissJourney: I have to say, I was surprised I didn’t see more of this sort of thing around International Women’s Day this year – in fact, I’m still slightly surprised at how little AI-derived work (specifically, work riffing on the fact of AI) there is out there at the moment. MissJourney is a nice-if-not-wildly-original idea, taking as its starting point the already-noted biases inherent in recent GAN training sets (whereby if you ask Midjourney or Dall-E to imagine a ‘doctor’, say, it will tend to spit out an image of a white bloke) and letting you instead generate an infinity of illustrations of professional women. Launched, obviously, on IWD as a joint project between TedX Amsterdam and the Ace Agency Group, this is a cute bit of work.

Face-to-Voice: Ok, so this is just a paper demonstrating the concept, but there are a few examples embedded in there and the fact that this is possible made me think I should include it here in case it inspires any of you to make something wonderful with the tech (CREATE FOR ME! DO MY BIDDING! Ahem). I’m not going to even try to explain how this works, mainly because I’m not really capable of doing so, but, well…you know how everyone’s face can basically be turned into numbers, right? And you can then turn those numbers into sounds? Yeah, well, THAT (please do not write to me explaining how far away from the truth that explanation was). This explores the ability of The Machines to ‘look’ at someone’s face and then ‘imagine’ what their voice might sound like based on their photos and MY GOD do the opportunities for gentle trolling just leap out at me unbidden. If nothing else, I REALLY want this to be turned into a briefly-zeitgeisty viral app/website that offers to reveal the TRUE VOICE of anyone whose face you feed it to – I can’t, if I’m honest, think of any practical applications for this, but perhaps you’ll fare better.

Beatbot: Give it a theme, suggest a style, press a button and WATCH IN AMAZEMENT as this website spits out 4 bars of vaguely-coherent music and lyrics! Nothing that this site produces is good, to be clear, but it is occasionally inadvertently funny and I can absolutely recommend it as a means of delivering messages to friends and colleagues (try it with something like “trip hop, diane is late with the reports”, for example – see? PERFECT).

HackerFM: Another AI-generated podcast, but this time a rather better one than previous efforts – rather than having a pair of machine-generated voice wittering on about whatever crap the autocomplete lands on, this is instead a regularly-updated series which each episode takes ACTUAL TECH NEWS and sees The Machine generate a discussion between two hosts on the actual topics. As far as I can tell, the links that are used as source material for the discussion are taken from HackerNews, though there’s minimal detail on exactly how the chat is generated – I wonder whether it’s using the BingAI interface to generate the summaries and analyses and then running *them* through another model to create the ‘personalities’. Who knows. Anyway, this is…not terrible, which I know sounds like faint praise but, again, remember how fcuking awful most human podcasts are and rejoice in the fact that maybe, just maybe, the era in which every tedious cnut with a baseball cap and a beard and a microphone and an opinion feels the need to record themselves for the world’s delectation (what’s that you say? No, people who write email newsletters are TOTALLY DIFFERENT, why do you ask?).

Opinionate: This is interesting and, potentially, genuinely quite useful – Opinionate is basically a toy that lets you make GPT argue with itself. Give it a topic or a premise – the concept of universal basic income, for example – and it will generate arguments for and against in the debating style. You can set the machine to deliver as many rounds of ‘discussion’ as you like (it defaults to 3 back-and-forths) – while it’s not going to win any points for intellectual flair, this is, honestly, a really really good way of quickly and easily getting an overview of the most obvious and basic questions around any issue. That’s not a diss, honest – sometimes it’s genuinely useful to get a shortcut to the basic stuff, and this is GREAT for that. I saw someone somewhere this week talking about how asking LLMs for ideas was actually a really good way of finding an eliminating the banal and the obvious, and this works in a similar-ish way; if you can’t outargue this, you should probably think harder about your position.

An AI Search Scare Story: I know I’ve wanged on about this a bit of late, but I do think that people aren’t quite giving enough thought to the potential impact of search becoming chat-based – still, if you’re after a small cautionary tale to make you think, you’re in luck! This website explains an exploit for BingAI search which works by putting invisible text on a webpage (lol it’s just like SEO in 2006!) to ‘inject’ a prompt into the search engine and turn it into something else entirely – the examples given here range from ‘making it talk like a funny pirate’ to ‘sending you to a third party website that is going to phish your credit card info’, and whilst this is very much unlikely to be a long-term problem (you’d sort of hope that this particular sort of attack vector is in some way patch/preventable, otherwise…) it does give another reminder that possibly releasing all this stuff into the wild before it’s entirely cooked is…maybe a bit fcuking stupid. Still, THINK OF THE SHAREHOLDERS AND PLOUGH ON, EH?

Wonder Studio: This feels like a GOOD AI and creativity story, though – Wonder Studio is a new business which aims to use AI techniques and the economies they afford to allow small, independent filmmakers access to the same sort of technical SFX chops that big studio films have – I won’t get into the tech (mainly because, er, as ever I don’t really understand it), but there’s a whole load of different processes and types of work that go into putting all those oddly-weightless spandex-clad CG heroes onscreen that are beyond the budget of all but the biggest studios; thanks, though, to advances in image processing and associated tech, it’s now a lot easier to calculate light refraction and all those sorts of complex things. Mocap, rendering, lighting, it’s all in here – ok, so this is a commercial product and obviously you have to pay for it, but it’s potentially game-changing for small-scale videographers and filmmakers – and, even better, it’s not going to put anyone out of business because there’s currently noone at all serving this market! Is this…is this a genuinely good tech thing? I am pinching myself.

Looria: Hang on, this ALSO feels like a genuinely good tech thing! UNPRECEDENTED! Looria is basically a chat interface built on top of the excellent subReddit ‘Buy It For Life’, which exists to recommend products that last for a long time without falling apart and is generally just a great and VERY DEEP repository of high-quality product knowledge across a wide range of verticals – it is therefore PERFECT for having a GPT-enabled layer added to it which makes the archive of posts interrogable. I find things like this really, really exciting (obviously I use that word advisedly – it’s not like I’m tumescing or anything, honest), and I am 100% going to add some sort of GPT search layer to Curios as soon as I can bully Shardcore into figuring out how to do it for me – basically I want to turn it into something like this (but less useful and more full of weird internet stuff and occasional SHOUTY CAPS).

GPT Hackathon: A thread of some of the entries and winners from a recent GPT hackathon – none of these are LIVE PRODUCTS, but all of the featured concepts are interesting and either useful or fun, and a nice antidote to the seemingly-infinite ‘summarise a document’-type products currently floating around the AI swamp. My personal favourite of these is the AI-powered stuffed toy, which is 100% going to be on sale somewhere this Christmas (honestly, I really do think that the potential for using GPT in a sort of updated Tamagotchi or Little Computer People fashion is HUGE – so, er, go on! Do it!), but the trivia game looks fun too and this is, generally, just good inspiration should you be in the market for something to do with all this shiny, exciting new tech.

The Shot List: Very much a link for the ‘I work in an agency’ people, this, but Nathalie Gordon has compiled this superb thread on Twitter showing different types of shots that you might use when filming a video; the idea is that you bookmark this so that when you’re pitching a specific video you can use actual examples of specific shots or visual styles to illustrate your concept. Which, fine, is probably something that REAL visual creatives do all the time already, but, well, I am not a REAL visual creative (or even a fake one, frankly) and so I will take all the help I can get. THANKYOU NATHALIE.

The Census Maps: The UK’s Office of National Statistics this week updated all its maps with data from the latest census, meaning that it’s now possible to explore the UK through entirely new eyes and it is FASCINATING. You can literally get information at a street-by-street level, so if you’ve ever wanted to know exactly how many of your neighbours work in telly (do you live in Walthamstow? ALL OF THEM!!!!) then now’s your chance. Both just really interesting as a way of passing a few hours, and specifically really useful for any sort of local campaign planning you might need to do.

Asdfjkl;: I love this SO MUCH, and really ought to put something similar on the Curios website (that’s a really bad idea, isn’t it?). “I’m not going to give you any information. I’m not going to try to sell you anything. I’m not going to preach anything. Because I’m different. I’m also going to ask you to be different, too. You see, a website that does not deliver information is useless. But like I said, I’ve washed my hands of that job and I’m leaving it to you. I want YOU to talk to me. So go ahead. Tell me something interesting. Tell me about how your day went. Tell me about ancient Roman trade routes. Tell me a funny joke. Anything at all. This is your website now and I am your audience.” Speak into the void – what’s the worst that could happen?

Hand-carved Totoro: There’s something of a boom in super-luxe Miyazaki-related merch at the moment – first the Loewe/Howl crossover that’s being promoted all over Old St at the moment, now this astonishing bit of craftsmanship. Have you ever wanted to own a model of Totoro, carved by hand with exquisite precision by a master Japanese woodworker? It’s quite possible you have, yes, but have you ever wanted to fork out 330,000yen or a cool £2000 for such a thing? No, perhaps not, but NOW’S YOUR CHANCE! This is very silly but also rather lovely – and if you’re a fan of Miyazaki and Totoro and the rest, there’s a bunch of other less-expensive stuff for sale on the site (including some really rather lovely pottery for not very much money at all).

WriteOut: Free audiotranscription powered by OpenAI’s Whisper – this is very, very good, and it’s free, and, honestly, if you’re paying for Otter then you might want to stop.

Anima: Another massive interactive AI-enabled music toy! After the beatmaking arcade cabinet from last week comes this, which feels a bit like the muesli-eating, Guardian-reading, free-range parenting equivalent – “Anima is an interactive installation that facilitates a musical jam session between humans and machines. Anima functions like a sequencer that uses AI algorithms to generate new musical sequences, but with a unique twist: the installation not only allows you to make changes, but it also serves as a musician in its own right, meaning that it is an equal and active participant in the jam session, able to bring in and overwriting sequences. It creates variations and transitions that you can ignore, adapt and build upon. Through interplay and interaction with Anima, humans can freely experiment with various musical ideas and boundaries, as if they were jamming in a band.” This looks SO MUCH FUN – it’s a project by Dutch design studio Bureau Moeilijke Dingen, and you can contact them if you can think of something fun you’d like to do with it – so THINK OF SOMETHING.

Patterns and Van Gogh: A website by one Stefan Pullen, which analyses the works of Vincent Van Gogh based on specific, data-based criteria – the size of the canvases he used, for example, where he painted them, which months of the year were his most creative, etc – and visualises the results; this is a really lovely bit of dataviz and a nice way of exploring the works through a slightly different lens.

By Gordo Hart

NEXT, WHY NOT PRETEND TO BE COOLER THAN YOU IN FACT ARE WITH THIS PLAYLIST OF REASONABLY NEW MUSIC FROM THE NEW YORK UNDERGROUND!

THE SECTION WHICH WANTS TO FIND THE PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS STELLAR PIECE OF DIGITAL COMMUNICATIONS AND SHAKE THEM WARMLY AND FIRMLY BY THE HAND, PT.2:

Kaonavi Project Town: Another Japanese site, but this one is significantly less esoteric than the last – “Kaonavi envisions a future where everyone can play an active role in society , based on the purpose of implementing technology in “work” and changing the specifications of society from the power of individuals . So what does the future look like? How to work and live with individuality? The Kaonavi Town Project visualizes such questions and curiosity about the future as a town through an in-house workshop”. What this effectively means is the creation of a massive LEGO diorama (built by Japan’s very own accredited LEGO master, no less – I had no idea that such things existed, by the way, but apparently there are a small numbers of LEGO-certified professional builders who are recognised by the brand for their excellence in miniature construction, and I can’t tell you how much that pleases me) which kids can use as a way of exploring concepts around planning and society and social responsibility, and there’s even an associated OTHER website that lets you explore said diorama in more detail (but which is all in Japanese and thus is sadly utterly incomprehensible to me). I think this is such a smart didactic technique, and it feels like something from which inspiration could be drawn for lots of other forms of lightly-educational activity.
Notes Art: A gallery of sketches drawn by one Chris Silverman on his iPhone, using the most basic of built-in drawing tools rather than anything more arty – it’s almost annoying how good these are, but I am choosing to feel admiration and awe at Mr Silverman’s skills rather than a burning sense of injustice that I was in a different building when the artistic talent was being handed out. This has been going for about 18 months, and, aside from the obvious skill and creativity on display here, I am very much a fan of that sort of dedication.
Heatmap: A BRAND NEW news organisation, dedicated to covering issues pertaining to the climate crisis. Interesting both from the point of view of media – I wouldn’t, personally, have imagined that there was too much money in running a publishing venture focused exclusively on an issue that the past few decades have shown we are more than happy to pretend simply doesn’t exist – and content, this is worth adding to your media lists should you operate in this space (or worth bookmarking if you’re simply interested in charting the apocalypse).
Rotating Sandwiches: This feels very much like a Matt Round project, but somehow doesn’t appear to be one – have you ever wanted a website which offers one thing and one thing only, to whit: a selection of high-res 3d scans of sandwiches, rotating on themselves? No, you probably haven’t, have you, but that’s probably only because you lacked the imagination to conceive of such a marvellous entity – I guarantee that once you click you will come to appreciate the majesty. These are really high-quality scans, so well done whoever it is who’s taken the time to get a really faithful 3d representation of a classic reuben and whatever the fcuk that…thing about halfway down the page is meant to be.
North of the Border: Whether or not you’re someone who ‘gets’ ASMR, one of the nice things about the web has been learning that it’s a pretty universal human joy to watch someone performing a task with great concentration and skill. So it is with this YouTube channel, in which a very talented North American guy shows you how he makes some quite astonishingly detailed models of pop-culture figures – the stuff he makes is very much on the geeky end of the spectrum, but the quality of the work (and the intensely-soothing nature of watching anyone sculpt clay, frankly) means that these are a pleasure to watch whether or not you particularly care to see what a ‘realistic’ version of the alien from Lilo&Stitch would look like (‘grotesque’, should you be curious).
Unclogging Drains: I recently had to get the drains unblocked (more fascinating dispatches from my personal life as and when!), and there was something weirdly-compelling about seeing this bloke wielding what was basically a nine-foot plunger with uncommon élan (less-compelling was the £50 bill for what was literally 17 seconds of (doubtless highly-skilled) wiggling) – after all, who doesn’t want to see persistent blockages being cleared? NO FCUKER, etc! This is the TikTok account of a guy whose job is literally clearing blockages in drains and gutters, and is basically a neverending feed of streaming water and decaying leaf mulch (there may well be slightly more faecal surprises lurking elsewhere in the feed, but I am yet to spot any) and the general sense of warm satisfaction of things being fixed. Low-stakes, and all the better for it.
Href Place: YOU HAVE UNTIL 12th MARCH 2023 TO ENJOY THIS LINK! Or, more accurately, to engage with the project it’s promoting – the website will continue to exist, but you won’t be able to get involved. Vidya Giri writes: “as someone who is fond of making sketches of natural landscapes and sharing links, i thought it would be fun to illustrate digital landscapes (aka websites) and send them on to others as a way of sharing/showcasing various parts and lands of the internet! from this online space, i wanted to invite friends and internet strangers to sign up to receive an href postcard from me in the physical mail! based on your form submission, i will send you postcard that contains a recommended link along with an illustration of the website. in addition, you can recommend me a cool link and i will illustrate these into postcards too!” Links! On postcards! Sent to you in the mail! This sounds, frankly, perfect – there’s something so wonderfully silly about sending people handwritten urls that it almost becomes entirely sensible again, and I encourage all of you to click the link and sign up to the project because, honestly, who doesn’t like receiving postcards?
The World Nature Photography Awards: MORE PHOTOS OF ANIMALS! Another week, another photo award – obviously the crocodile shot at the top of the page is the one that’s garnered all the attention, but my personal pick of the bunch is the incredibly dapper-looking Lesser Antillean Iguana (do you think it has an inferiority complex)?
Dumb Password Rules: There are a few things that can be relied upon to shake one’s faith in humanity and one’s belief in the fundamental ability of our species to solve problems and strive towards the greater good – the replies to any of Elon Musk’s tweets (in fact, any trending topic on Twitter), the Daily Mail, string cheese, any pub on a Saturday or Sunday during the fcuking Six Nations – but few are so indicative of our propensity to make everything a bit sh1t as a bad website password system. Is there anything more annoying than being asked to create a password for something and then having to try nine separate ones because at each juncture the site you’re trying to use sees fit to add another condition that your password must meet before it can be considered valid (caps! Special characters! Numbers! Iambic fcuking pentameter!)? I put it to you that there is not – and you can prove it to yourself by perusing this excellent collection of websites whose password systems are so annoying, so bone-headed, that they act as cautionary notes to UX designers the world over. SO MANY IDIOTIC DESIGN CHOICES HERE – also, this is a convenient shortlist should any of you be hackers looking for easy sites to gain access to, so feel free to share your ill-gotten proceeds with me once you’re done.
Clarity: There have been a variety of platforms over the past few years – particularly post-2016 – which have sought to create an analytical layer over media overage of the news to enable readers to get a sense of partisan bias and polarisation around particular stories; Clarity is yet another, and whilst it’s not perfect it’s an interesting attempt to contextualise how certain news stories are being treated and who’s driving coverage of them. The site picks the biggest news stories of the day and then analyses their coverage across a range of news websites, specifically analysing their prominence on-Page to determine the weight being given to each story from the left and right-wing press respectively. This only covers stuff of interest to the US, but I would be really interested to see what this showed us about news in the UK – if nothing else, it’s a useful way of seeing at a glance which stories are being pushed (or, depending on your perspective, suppressed) by which publishers.
NDA Buzz: These are, I think, actually available for sale – NDAs in pill form! Obviously not ACTUALLY legally binding, I presume that this is a riff on the fact that NDAs really aren’t worth the paper they are written on – this is a project by interactive design studio Hoax, which features pills filled with powder made from powdered rice paper, on which had previously been printed a standard NDA contract, which pills are designed to be ingested by all parties involved in the contract. VERY silly, but, equally, I would very much enjoy buying a bunch of these and then forcing everyone I worked with to solemnly ingest one with me as part of some sort of stiltedly-ceremonial ritual (possibly involving a minor act of bloodletting, just to up the ante a bit).
LGBTQ+ VR Museum: This looks great – it’s a piece of work that’s created to work as an installation, and so the only thing available at the URL is some details about the exhibit and some trailers, but it looks like a fascinating project and experience. The LGBTQ+ VR Museum is (as the name might suggest) a virtual reality museum of queer history, melding significant milestones such as the Stonewall riots and the AIDS epidemic with personal anecdotes and recollections from the wider community, the trailers give the impression of an interactive exhibition that really understands the medium it’s built in. If you’re working on anything relating to queer history and have a space you’re looking to fill, this is very much worth a look and potentially a booking.
Doorknobs: A 24 year old digital art project! This is a work from 1999, which is frankly mindboggling – never mind that it’s not exactly the most thrilling of webpages, FEEL THE WEIGHT OF HISTORY ON YOUR MOUSE FINGER! “I photographed every door or drawer knob, handle, or latch I touched from the time I awoke on Thursday, June 3rd, until I went to bed on Friday, June 4th, 1999.” See the doorknobs! Enjoy the doorknobs! Revel in the analysis of the doorknobs! Practically-perfect internet.
The Phrontistery: I’m slightly astonished that this hasn’t wandered across my field of vision before now, but this is SUCH a great website for lovers of the English language: “Welcome to the Phrontistery! Since 1996, I have compiled word lists and language resources to spread the joy of the English language in all its variety through time and space. A phrontistery (from the Greek phrontistes ‘thinker’) is meant to be a thinking-place for reflection and intellectual stimulation. I invite you to explore the various site features relating to language and lexicography, find that half-remembered rare or obscure word you’ve been looking for, or to read and explore essays on language, linguistics, and culture. Have a look around, and enjoy!” There is so, so much to enjoy here, but if nothing else may I encourage you to have a spelunk around the obscure words list – I was just educated as to the existence of ‘gelicide’ (death by cold) as a term, which pleased me no end, and you will definitely find at least one new term with which to annoy the fcuk out of friends and colleagues.
Free Vector Memes: All the memes! In vector form! For free! To do with what you will! “Introducing powerful Meme vectors! Remix, tweak and change colors to your heart’s content – all licensed under GNU General Public License with no copyright infringement intended. Unleash the creative beast within you!” If nothing else you now have absolutely no excuse for putting a vectorised version of wojak on your company’s 404 page.
Phylopic: Do you want a free repository of images of a frankly incredible variety of ‘animals, plants and other lifeforms’ in black and white silhouette? OF COURSE YOU DO! Honestly, you have no idea how amazingly comprehensive this is – you want a silhouette of a banded anteater (as opposed to a regular, non-banded one)? GREAT! How about a lesser flying phalanger? EVEN BETTER! Honestly, this has silhouettes of animals so obscure I am half-convinced the site owners have just made them up.
Sumplete: This annoyed me this week – a bunch of people uncritically wrote this up as ‘GPT INVENTED AN ENTIRELY NEW GAME OMG!’, based on this blogpost by its co-creator where they explain that they asked ChatGPT to come up with an idea for a word game, and the code for it, and it magically WORKED! Which is impressive, until you bother to do a bit of supplementary research and discover that what The Machine has in fact done is dug up the code for an already-existing game that’s available on the Play Store. Which, obviously, is unsurprising, given that the software is merely drawing from things it’s seen before – it doesn’t ‘understand’! It can’t ‘think’! Any ‘originality’ it is capable of is accidental! Anyway, just putting this here because we are going to see a LOT of ‘AI invented XX!’ stuff in the coming months and it’s important to retain some healthy scepticism.
Cinemashle: Can you guess the films that have been mashed together, based on the AI-generated images you’re presented with? 5 guesses each time, a different pair of films to identify each day – this is quite fun, and when you guess correctly you get a bonus AI-imagined script snippet for the nonexistent film as an additional treat.
The Videogame Sound Effects Quiz: How many of these samples from videogames can you identity? Listen to the clip, guess the game it’s taken from, and know that if you can get more than about 5 of these you have made…questionable use of the mysterious gift of life granted you by an unknown force. This is SO HARD, and, honestly, I think anyone who manages to get above 40 on this (there are 60 in total) ought to have some sort of nerd shrine built to them (and anyone who gets 60 probably needs some sort of intervention to pry the controller from their hands and wash between the skin folds).
Rogule: Another daily puzzle, this one letting you play through a small roguelike dungeon every 24h. Can you survive? Will the monsters defeat you? Erm, probably not to be honest – as pointed out by Rob at B3ta, from whence I have shamefully filched this link, this does seem to be rather easy to win. Still, consider it another distraction to add onto the pre-work routine stack.
Big Sad Fall Assistants: This is FUN, but also requires a slightly greater degree of hand/eye coordination than I’m honestly comfortable with, meaning I am embarrassingly unskilled at it – still, it’s enjoyable to play even if I can’t get past the third level (so ashamed). The game’s simple – move your pair of robots left and right between the buildings to catch the office workers hurling themselves from the windows and bounce them right back to their desks again (there’s a light ‘oh the horrors of late-period capitalism!’ tone to the whole thing, should you care about the framing) – but rendered slightly more complex by the fact you need to move both robots at once, which lends it a slight ‘pat your head, rub your belly’ quality (or at least it does for me – perhaps you’re less of a malcoordinated mess than I am); this is fun, and could probably work as a keyboard-sharing two-player game if there’s anyone who you’d feel comfortable being that proximate with.
Lander: This is very, very simple – land the lunar module! How hard can it be?! – but I guarantee that you will be cursing it, and yourself, when you’re 15 minutes late for dinner/bed/that person off Grindr who’s been cuffed to your bedpost for about an hour now (delete per your lifestyle choices) because you decided to have JUST ONE MORE GO. This is insanely moreish and very fun (and not a little infuriating too, like all the best games).
Gourdlets: Finally this week, a genuinely soothing digital toy – Gourdlets is a playable demo for a forthcoming game which answers the question “what if SimCity but pixelart and with literally no challenge to it at all?” – your job is just to build whatever small village-type setup you choose, with no worries about budgets or disasters or making things work. Your creation will be populated by small, cute, bloblike creatures (called, one presumes, Gourdlets) who will arrive in your village by train at regular intervals, and who will proceed to wander around your town, enter your buildings, sit on your benches, barbecue on your fires…honestly, this is possibly the most soothing thing I have seen all year, and if you’re feeling in any way stressed or overwhelmed or, honestly, like you’d rather stick pins in your eyes and ears and genitals than spend another second thinking about customer journey profiles, or audience personas, or the importance of strategy in the modern agency landscape (lol!), then click this link and let the pain melt away. This is practically therapy, I tell you.

By Glen Baxter

THIS WEEK’S FINAL MUSICAL OFFERING IS COMPILED BY THE PHENOMENAL HANDCLAP BAND AND IS A WONDERFUL SELECTION OF WHAT I WOULD PROBABLY CALL ‘FUNKY 70sISH AND PSYCHEDELIA AND THE ODD BIT OF UNEXPECTED HOUSE!

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

The Dot is Black: I absolutely adore this. The Dot Is Black “is a platform for research design that aims on the development of design knowledge through generative drawings made with code. The multidisciplinary design concept behind thedotisblack attempts to combine visual narratives and natural science studies, sound analysis and data visualization. In general, thedotisblack focuses on simple rules in code that utilize basic design principles that can be overlapped, merged or used for further development. In this context, geometry plays an important role as it enables a circular argument that brings things together while providing direction and flexibility. At the same time, coding does not only emphasize on the relationship among its parts but also enables the potential for a high and unexpected complexity of the whole that can be controlled. thedotisblack is exploring this complexity and control.” SO MANY PRETTY IMAGES.

Faces In The Cloud: A VERY OLD Tumblr, this, highlighting all the ways in which facial recognition tech is often very bad at recognising faces. It would be fascinating to run this sort of thing again to see how much the tech’s improved (and, perhaps more interestingly, where it hasn’t).

WTF Happened in 1971?: This is interesting – accompanying the podcast of the same name, this is a collection of graphs which all suggest that SOMETHING happened in 1971 that changed the world and basically set modernity in train; these are mostly of a variety of different global economic indicators, and tend to show the rate of change of each of them shifting dramatically around 1971 – WHY? WHAT HAPPENED? I am never, ever going to listen to the podcast that goes with this, so if someone smarter than me could explain this all via email that would be great thanks.

Vault of VHS: “Dedicated to the design of retail VHS packaging, for both home & pre-recorded tapes.” I bet THAT’S got your pulse racing, hasn’t it?

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

Gigtapes: Oddities from old VHS videotapes found at US thrift stores and boot sales – this tends towards the ‘odd, old-time curio’ rather than the ‘cursed’, but that’s no bad thing to my mind. If you want a great source of slightly-grainy clips of moderately-surreal local access cable programming from the 1980s and 90s then this will be PERFECT for you (and if you don’t, WHY NOT FFS?).

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

The Machine’s Work Is Good Enough: I can’t stress enough how good I think this is and the extent to which it’s (imho) the most nailed-on analysis of What All This AI Stuff Means For Creativity and Content and Entertainment. Brian Feldman writes persuasively that anyone suggesting that AI-generated content won’t sweep the world because ‘it’s not very good’ is spectacularly missing the point and has failed to pay attention to what’s been going on for YEARS online – specifically, that we don’t actually expect or even particularly want things to be ‘good’ anymore, that the way the web works and is structured and has evolved means that in fact we’re perfectly happy to put up with stuff that is a bit crap but generally just about ‘good enough’, and that machine-generatyed content (copy, specifically) is already just about ‘good enough’ to fit neatly into that ecosystem of mediocrity. Honestly, next time someone tries to give you the line about ‘people won’t put up with the pabulum spat out by The Machine’ take a moment to think about what is most popular on TV and online (the REAL popular stuff, not the things that broadsheets write op-eds about) and realise that, well, it’s simply not true: “I just think it’s worth reiterating that the story of internet culture recently has not been one of austerity or moderation. It’s about taking the easy route and flooding the zone with the same meme templates and TikTok sounds everyone else is using at a regular interval — as opposed to things that are creative and unique and, well, good. This has been true for years: consistency over quality is a winning strategy in terms of audience growth. All of the stories I read about content creator burnout are about how exhausting and awful it is to have to post so often, rather than about what most artists have traditionally struggled with throughout most of human history: being in a creative rut. To me, that’s extremely telling.5 A flywheel system that encourages this type of brainless output incentivizes the proliferation of automated systems that let people continue to pump out at-best-mediocre stuff while shirking responsibility for what’s actually generated. So I see the twisted appeal of the shortcuts, and am not more aghast about it than anything else I’ve seen over the last decade. The posters have been sleepwalking for a very long time.”

The Waluigi Effect: You may have seen Waluigi’s name bafflingly cropping up in the general AI-wrangling discourse this week and wondered what the fcuk it was all about – this is the article that started the ball rolling, and whilst it’s…a bit knotty in places, it’s also SUPER interesting from the point of view of how our current crop of AI models work, and how they ‘think’ (they don’t think), and how knowing more about how they identify concepts and ‘situate’ them in latent space can help direct them more effectively. I am not going to try and paraphrase the arguments here because, honestly, you do just have to read the longform work I’m afraid, but I promise that if you take it slowly then it does all make sense and will properly make your brain fizz with the cleverness and oddity of it all.

AI & Photojournalism: I continue to be generally discomfited by the p1ss-poor tenor of most of the coverage of the current AI boom, and the lack of anything beyond “WOW THIS IS BASICALLY MAGIC” and “IT ONLY CREATES DERIVATIVE RUBBISH” discourse from much of the mainstream press. This article in the Columbia Journalism Review is an interesting corrective to that – in it, Amanda Darrach interviews Fred Ritchin, a former NYT Photo Editor, about what image-based AIs mean for photojournalism and ideas of ‘truth’ and representation, and the whole conversation is so much more nuanced and intelligent than 90% of what I’ve read around this in recent weeks. Ritchin asks interesting questions not only about the technology but also about the role of photojournalism in culture and the particular ways in which it works to create collective cultural memory, and the storytelling aspect of a single image, and trust and truth and and and – honestly, this is really interesting and thought-provoking, even if (as I appreciate many of you probably are) suffering from not-insignificant AR fatigue right now.

How Long Does Twitter Have Left?: The slow decline of my favourite website continues apace – it’s astonishing how many people simply don’t use the platform anymore compared to a year ago, and how rickety it is, and how much worse the spam is, and how, despite all of this, That Fcuking Man is still making like it’s all going swimmingly (it’s clearly not). Anway, this is a short bit of speculative analysis by Dave Karpf which suggests, based on his calculations, that the site’s got about 6 months before Elong declares it bankrupt (and inevitably blames his failure to make the business a success on the WOKE MIND VIRUS.. Let’s see how accurate this proves to be.

Google Control: Ok, this is QUITE GEEKY, and unless you’re particularly interested in search rankings or ‘how the internet works at a sort-of foundational level’ or advermarketingpr-type gubbins then you might want to skip it – for the rest of you, though, this is a SUPER-interesting look at the the companies that effectively own all of the most trafficked sites on the web, how they maintain that position, and what YOU, eager digimarketer, can learn from them. Honestly, whilst yes, fine, this is a BIT work-y, and whilst also yes, fine, there is literally nothing more boring on this earth than SEO, this is genuinely interesting and informative, and I say this as someone who has pretty much decided that they can’t be fcuked to feign interest in ‘work’ anymore and may well just stop forever and see what happens.

The MAGA-fication of North Idaho College: I know that the majority of you aren’t North Americans (actually, due to the previously mentioned absence of any sort of analytics on Curios whatsoever, I don’t know that at all – but I assume), and that this writeup of CULTURE WAR B0LLOCKS at some college you’ve bever heard of therefore probably doesn’t strike you as immediately interesting, but I honestly think that this sort of thing is a bit of a canary in the coal mine for the UK and as such I would encourage you to have a read as, well, if you don’t see this sort of thing happening over here before too long then you’re a more optimistic person than I am. The piece details how “for most of the past two years, the college’s governing board has been a volatile experiment in turning grievances into governance. Trustees backed by the county Republican Party hold a majority on the board. They have denounced liberal “indoctrination” by the college faculty and vowed to bring the school administration’s “deep state” to heel and “Make N.I.C. Great Again””, and how that has rendered the institution effectively ungovernable and at risk of closure. This is less about North America and more about a general trend towards a conception of the world that is entirely zero-sum, in which it is impossible to conceive of an improved outcome for one group without a necessarily worsened outcome for another, and which, as a result, leads to the sort of rage and fear we’ve been seeing around LGBTx rights and women’s rights and immigration over the past few years. Honestly, after this week’s ridiculous, horrible ‘small boats’ performative sh1tshow in the UK, this sort of article feels significantly less alien than one might have hoped.

Inflationships: Ooh, I do like a new lifestyle slang term (and apologies, by the way, if this has been current for AGES – I am old, and so get to this stuff late) – ‘inflationships’, as characterised by this piece in The Face and coming to every single strategy upfront for every single youth-facing FS brand campaign in the world VERY SOON, describes the modern situation where couples are forced to move in together earlier than they might have chosen to as a result of everything costing seventythreemillion pounds. Basically this is an updated, three-years-on version of all those stories about people ending up spending Lockdown One with some random they’d chirpsed off Hinge, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use it as a spurious hook for whatever tired old brand activation you’re currently looking to peddle to Monzo or whoever.

The TikTok Bad Dates Content Flywheel: It is interesting, if you’re an online Methuselah like me, to witness different content trends and formats being resurrected and reinterpreted for a new platform and generation – so it is with the storied ‘OMG my dating life is a disaster!’ content vertical, beloved of (mostly) young women since blogging was a thing and now being remixed for the TikTok age. Which means more crying into camera, more sleuthing and tracking and shaming…what I find interesting about this is the way in which the style of what’s produced differs from generation to generation, and the way in which things that would have most likely been anonymous back in the day are now presented in-person – because, after all, what’s the point of going massively viral if noone knows who you are? I think there’s a really interesting essay to be written looking at the different ways specific content tropes play out on different platforms and in different eras, so, er, if any of you would like to write it for me then that would be great, thanks.

ExploitTok: There’s not much to say about this – this piece details how people in the developing world are increasingly turning to dark and exploitative content to get eyeballs on TikTok, and, subsequently, some money. “In a series of recently viral livestreams on Indonesian TikTok, the premise is always the same: Women in their 50s and 60s sit in a stagnant pool of water and mud, often shivering. The women’s clothes are soaked to the skin, and they periodically throw a pail of water over themselves, looking directly at the camera. At times, they wipe away tears, appearing distressed. In doing so, the women — or the TikTok creators directing them, at least — can earn money. Over hours, sympathetic viewers send “coins” and gifts that can be exchanged for cash, amounting to several hundred dollars per stream.” This isn’t in any way surprising – “will w4nk for pennies” is, after all, a classic variation on The Oldest Profession In The World – but that doesn’t stop it from being miserable. Much like with the dating horror stories piece above, this is another ‘every generation runs the same content hoops’ story, except this time this is basically ‘bumfights, but make it globalised late-stage capitalism’. Bleak.

The King’s League: This is SO interesting – the first profile I’ve read of Gerard Pique’s “King’s League” seven-a-side tournament/franchise that the former Barca player has established in Spain, where a bunch of teams (captained by streamers, YouTubers and a couple of ex-pros) compete in rolling tournaments which are shot and cut for distribution across streaming platforms, complete with vague soap opera-style intrigue and a bit of wrestling-ish kayfabe thrown in for good measure. This feels like a version of a future, not least in the (very smart) way that it’s all been envisaged backwards from the mobile screen – everything is optimised to make COMPELLING CONTENT FOR THE SOUGHT-AFTER 8-24Y/O DEMOGRAPHIC and everything (from the format of the tournaments, to the way the games are structured, to the way they’re shot and edited) is designed to match up to the hypersaturated, fast-cut media which its intended audience is already addicted to.

Dating Men With Podcasts: I think you probably already know what this article says, but, as someone who fcuking hates podcasts and is firmly convinced that somewhere in the region of 97% of them don’t deserve to exist and doesn’t understand why so many men with skinny jeans and beards seem to think that anyone should care what they think about anything, I found it both pleasing and funny and perhaps you will too.

What Drum Machines Can Teach Us About AI: This piece is actually not really about AI, or at least not so’s you’d notice; instead, it’s about the history of drum machines, and how they have been used and incorporated into musical creation since their development – ok, fine, so it’s a BIT AI-ish insofar as there’s a bit of discussion about technology as complementary to, rather than substitutive of, human creativity.

Finding Audrey Amiss: The link here takes you to the ‘collection’ page for a series of articles about outsider artist Audrey Amiss, which have been commissioned as part of the process of cataloguing and analysing her works which is currently being undertaken by the Wellcome Collection; there are three parts at present, and the rest will be published over the coming weeks. Amiss was a classic ‘outsider’ artist – prolific, almost compulsive, in their work, and frequently beset by mental illness which characterised their life and their practice and which affected their ability to make inroads into the ‘mainstream’ arts scene of the 20th Century. I personally find stuff like this absolutely fascinating, heartbreaking and poignant – plus, beyond that, the Wellcome is asking some genuinely interesting questions about the role of the curator in the presentation of collections such as this, and whether or not it is possible for a curator to ever present an ‘artist centric’ view of a body of work such as this. Honestly, just read this opening to the first essay and see if it grabs you: “On a summer’s day in 2013, a woman called Audrey Amiss died alone in her south London flat, aged 79. On that day, she had eaten a Cornetto ice cream and a Sainsbury’s fruit sponge pudding before sticking the packaging down into a lined notebook, a scrapbook where she documented all the food she ate and household items she used every day. She sketched a few items she could see in her home. She wrote a letter to the charities Scope and Freedom from Torture. She tucked a bus ticket to Croydon and a receipt for a cheese sandwich into a log book, ready to be pasted down and annotated with her thoughts on the day’s activities. In her account book, she recorded, next to a receipt, that she’d “trudged the route. Arrived home exhausted. ZAPPED. CHEATING. After 10 July 2013, the rest of the pages of these volumes are blank, marking the final moments of Audrey’s life.”

Making Bikes: It may not surprise you to learn that I subscribe to a LOT of newsletters – one of my favourites is called ‘Scope of Work’, which is about manufacturing and making stuff, and is full of things I don’t really understand written by and for people who are several orders of magnitude more practical than I am. This week it featured this essay by Spencer Wright, all about their experiences building bikes, and I am not exaggerating when I tell you it is honestly one of the most interesting things I have read in ages and taught me LOADS about how bikes are made and how they work and, look, I accept that not everyone is going to be enticed by a few thousand words of someone talking about soldering metal tubes together but I promise you that there is poetry in here if you look for it.

In For A Pound: This is a GREAT piece of writing in VAN magazine (which is, in case you were as unfamiliar with it as I was up til this week, a publication dedicated to classical music) and which reminded me a lot stylistically of something one might find on Vittles, or The Fence (which is no bad thing, to be clear – just that it clearly inhabits a certain space in young, humorous, disaffected, urban, left-wing cultural criticism which you may find familiar) – the author, Hugh Morris, buys a £1 ticket to the Royal Opera House as part of its current scheme to improve access to FINE ART (as aside: does anyone REALLY like opera? It’s always struck me as something that people pretend to enjoy rather than actually enjoy, like caviar and children’s first birthday parties), and writes about art and value and how the two intertwine, and, honestly, this really is very good indeed.

The California Problem: OK, even by the standards of Web Curios this article is VERY LONG – we’re talking a good 10k words here, I think – and it’s very specifically about current trends and themes in indie game design, and as such I feel confident in saying it’s perhaps not for everyone; that said, if you’ve any interest at all in the production of culture and how that works, and how trends within a field work and don’t work, and how they can become stultifying, then this is very much worth reading (but you might want to break it up into bitesize chunks). It will also help if you know who Jonathan Blow is, I think, though it’s not 100% essential.

Agnes Callard’s Marriage of Minds: This article has caused QUITE THE FUSS in certain sections of the web – I present it here with minimal comment, other than to offer you this basic precis: 1) Agnes Callard is a philosophy professor, who was married to another philosophy professor until she fell in love with one of her students and divorced her husband to be with him; 2) Agnes Callard now lives with her new partner, her former husband, their two kids, and her new child with her new husband – they claim this works out well for everyone involved; 3) Agnes Callard spends an awful lot of time in this article talking like someone who does not in fact think this is working out super-well for everyone involved, no matter what she thinks she is saying; 4) Agnes Callard writes and talks about feelings with a degree of precise self-absorbtion I don’t think I have ever encountered before in a human being (also, as an aside, Agnes Callard is autistic, which feels like perhaps it could and should have been made more of in the piece, but you may feel differently about this bit). You will either find this HILARIOUS or quite incredibly boring – but, honestly, I couldn’t help but giggle throughout at how STAGGERINGLY self-regarding and self-involved this all is. Whilst I appreciate that the unexamined life may not in fact be worth living, I would also cheerfully posit that there can be such a thing as TOO MUCH examination.

Football in Brazil: An exceptional piece of writing in the LA Review of Books, by Clarissa Fragoso Pinheiro, which writes about Brazil and being Brazilian and the way in which football is inextricably linked with nation and nationality. This is not only superbly-written throughout, but also taught me so much – from the idea of ‘brazilian’-style football being intrinsically-linked to the country’s demographics and the concept of ‘mulatismo’, to the links between the famous 7-1 defeat to Germany and the rise of Bolsonaro, this is packed full of history and ideas and culture, and is, above all else, a great read (even if you don’t care about football whatsoever).

The Taking of Stonehenge: A short story by Adrian Hon, part SATIRE about cultural conservation and paternalism, part amusing scifi short, this is near-perfect in idea and execution.

On Novocain: If you’ve ever read anything about addiction you’ll have come across the trope of the addict who needs medical attention but can’t risk taking anaesthetic in case that should trigger a relapse; this is one of those, but, I promise you, it is LOADS better than you might expect and it’s a million miles away from the tortureporn machismo of James Frey’s (fictional) experiences. “It’s a scientific fact that there’s no way to know exactly how long a single second is. It’s not like an inch. You can’t lay a second next to another second and see if it’s the same size. The truth is that seconds might be all kinds of different sizes. Ordinarily this is an abstract, philosophical kind of truth about the difference between time and space, but when you experience extended chronic pain, this truth loses its abstract quality and you understand that all seconds are not the same size and that there are long seconds, and there are longer seconds, and there are Very Long Seconds.”Superb.

By Maud Madsen

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS (WHICH THIS WEEK MAINLY COME FROM RENE WALTER’S EXCELLENT GOOD MUSIC NEWSLETTER!)!:

We begin this week with a mystery. What are Temple Cities? Who is behind this? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? Genuine questions, all of them – if any of you are able to shad any light on this whatsoever I would be very grateful indeed.

Next up is this super-cheering bit of rock’n’roll by Drinking Boys and Girls Club – it’s all in Japanese and thus I have no idea what it’s about, but it’s SO hummable despite that that I promise you it will live in a corner of your brain for days (in a good way). The song’s called ‘Listen To Me’.

I’m currently really enjoying Yves Tumour’s work, and this latest song – a bit more melodic, and bit more jangly guitar – is no exception. Cracking track, and he remains eminently watchable as a performer – this is ‘Heaven Surrounds Us’.

I feel quite strongly that, at the age of 43, I am probably too old to express admiration and appreciation for a song entitled ‘Hickey King’, but, well, here we are. I know that comparing a grunge-y guitar-led band with a pink-haired female singer to Garbage is committing some sort of cardinal sin of unimaginative writing but, well, this really does sound quite a lot like Garbage. This is the latest single by Skating Polly:

Last up this week, we have this track by Pynch, called London, which to my mind does an excellent job of nailing what it feels like to live in this city in your 20s (now moreso than ever, I guess) – I rather love this and it’s doomy, singalongachorus, and I hope you do too. TAKE CARE AND TRY NOT TO DIE I LOVE YOU BYE!

Webcurios 03/03/23

March 3, 2023

admin

Uncategorized No Comments

Opening
Misc 1
Misc 2
Tumblr
Long Reads
Video

Reading Time: 36 minutes

You know what the only thing worse than being governed by absolute cnuts? Being governed by stupid cnuts.

Why is it that every time a tranche of texts belonging to the powerful get released they only serve to demonstrate what total and utter fcuking intellectual pygmies said powerful are? It happened with the Musktexts last year, when we got to see exactly how craven and fellatory the world’s billionaire classes are capable of being with each other, and it’s happening again here in the UK with the release of the Hancock Whatsapps, which surely must mark the point at which Miss Coladangelo awakes from the deep hypnosis that can be the only explanation for her apparent infatuation with that chinless moron and runs for the fcuking hills.

BUT! You’re not here for this! In fact, depending on where you are reading this from there’s every chance that the preceding two paragraphs will have meant nothing to you whatsoever Which, frankly sets you up perfectly for the rest of the week’s newsletter, which as a result of minor sleep deprivation is possibly even lighter than usual on thematic consistency and internal coherence. Apologies in advance and all that.

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and if anyone wants to read 100,000 of my What

By Penny Slinger

WE KICK OFF THIS WEEK WITH A TRIP BACK IN TIME, COURTESY OF LAURENT GARNIER AND HIS CLASSIC (IF YOU’RE OLD) X-MIX 2!

THE SECTION WHICH WONDERS WHETHER WE CAN TRAIN AN LLM ON THE HANCOCK TEXTS AND FINALLY BE DONE WITH THE REPELLENT LITTLE MEATSACK’S PHYSICAL EMBODIMENT, PT.1:

Wist: I was out last night with some people and we got to talking about tech and AI and stuff like that (I am a thrill in real life as well as online!), and I realised that I was basically being a slightly-doomy Cassandra about everything (this may shock you, I appreciate), and so I want to start this week with something which when I saw it made me genuinely excited and slightly giddy about the future, just to prove that I am in fact capable of feeling normal human emotions like ‘broad positivity’. Wist is…well, it’s another one of those things which is basically as close to being scifi witchcraft as it’s possible to be without invoking that Charlie Brooker TV show which we’ve all agreed we can’t mention anymore in the context of mad, futuristic technology. Whilst it doesn’t quite exist yet, you can sign up for the beta waitlist if you’re an iOS or VR user – the idea here is that using a combination of various cutting-edge bits of visual tech, users will be able to take photos and videos and then…well, basically, step inside said photos and videos and wander around within them. I KNOW, RIGHT?! The effect, from what I can tell, is like some sort of volumetric Kinect-y rendering, and I think this uses NERF or similar to capture the video and make it 3d-navigable, and whilst the examples on the site look, fine, a bit grainy and flickery, there’s something astonishing about the fact that an idea like this – which is, to reiterate, literally the sort of thing that we have spent the past 50-odd years being shown in scifi – is now close enough to being real to actually properly envisage. Whilst this sort of thing is a long way away from being mainstream (or even, fine, particularly good), you can absolutely imagine where this ends up – and, with a bit of imaginative stretching, you can conceive of variants on stuff like this where it’s hooked up to AI and you can engage in various conversational interactions with the people captured in these 3d memories…basically this is quite astonishingly future, and it made me momentarily quite excited. SEE? POSITIVITY!

Beatmachine: This is great as well and I really really want one – so, er, if any of you fancy organising some sort of whipround, that would be great. Beatmachine is, very simply put, a freestanding physical arcade cabinet which doubles as a sort-of sequencer/beat machine, and which basically turns the act of making music into a sort of pub game, and it looks SO MUCH FUN. “The Beat Machine provides an active, physical experience to help you break free from obsessing over details and find new inspiration.Use your own external instruments, VSTs and MIDI controllers. Everything you make is instantly synced and can be imported anywhere.” There are various different modes – you can do free composition, but there’s also an Arcade mode with challenges to complete…you can export whatever you make in whatever format you want, you can plug the machine into other kit…OK, fine, so it’s probably no better than Ableton in terms of what you can make with it, but it just looks like the sort of thing that you’d have a really good time messing around with (and which would be BRILLIANT with a bunch of friends and quite a lot of booze) – basically I want one of you to have a party and book one of these as part of the entertainment, and then invite me along so I can spoil the whole thing with my aggressively-arrhythmic tinkering. Is that ok?

Prime Voice AI: I remain…somewhat bemused at the current tenor of the discussion around the ongoing AI boom, specifically given how terrifyingly worked up everyone got about deepfakes four or five years ago when they weren’t actually that good. Now here we are with the ability to create photorealistic imagery of basically anyone doing anything, and animate it, and add realistic voices, and yet noone seems to be particularly worried about how easily this stuff can be created and distributed for a whole variety of potentially-nefarious purposes. Oh ffs, there I go Cassandra-ing again, Sorry. Anyway, this link takes you to the ElevenLabs beta website where you can try their new voice-synth toy Prime Voice, which will read out any text you feed it with a quite astonishing degree of vocal fidelity – this stuff is REALLY good now, incorporating natural stresses and pauses and inflections based on punctuation and word-choice and assumed cadence. Seriously, just copy this paragraph and type it in and be amazed – it even gets the ellipses right, which shouldn’t impress me quite as much as it just has done.

The Land: I stumbled across this website this week and it made me briefly wish that the UK was a little more like Germany (wealthy, functional, European). The Land is a project which aims to promote the German region of Baden-Württemberg as a place to visit, live, invest and generally just enjoy, and this website is a really nicely-made showcase for all the reasons why it’s a particularly nice part of the world. There’s nothing super-spectacular here, fine, but I was charmed by both the design (which is the sort of thing I’m more used to seeing from large energy companies attempting to humanise their ESG efforts) and, if I’m honest, just the general feeling of cheerful optimism engendered by the whole thing – it gives you the impression of a country in which, I don’t know, the entire ruling political class isn’t attempting to fcuk the populace with knives. Anyway, whether or not you’re interested in visiting Baden-Württemberg or not (and having been there briefly last year, Stuttgart really is a very nice city), this is an excellent example of how to make a site that’s both informative and pretty. Can you imagine anyone making something like this for, I don’t know, Wiltshire? You can’t, can you?

Centuries of Sound: A superb project, this (and one which has been going since 2017, and which I am slightly aghast I haven’t featured here before). “Centuries of Sound is an attempt to produce an audio mix for every year of recorded sound. Starting with 1860, a mix is posted every month until we catch up with the present day. The scope is more o rless everything, music of course, but also speech and other sounds, the only limit being that music and sounds used must be from that year.” The project’s up to 1944 as of January this year – having dipped into a few of these this week, each show is a wonderful time capsule and if nothing else will make you really, really glad that the 1960s eventually happened because Christ alive was pre-rock’n’roll music grating.

Take It Down: This is unequivocally A Good Thing – an initiative spearheaded by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, Take It Down is a project which works with major digital and social media companies to allow young people to share images that they fear might be circulating of them online, adding a hashed version of said images to the global database of non-consensual and therefore non-shareable nude images. “Take It Down is a free service that can help you remove or stop the online sharing of nude, partially nude, or sexually explicit images or videos taken of you when you were under 18 years old. You can remain anonymous while using the service and you won’t have to send your images or videos to anyone. Take It Down will work on public or unencrypted online platforms that have agreed to participate.” The service works wherever you are in the world – these image databases are international, after all – and a bunch of the biggest social platforms work with this tech, meaning it should be effective across Insta, Facebook, OnlyFans and Pr0nhub. This is very much worth sharing with any young people you know (or even old people who you think might need to protect against the possibility of those photos of Swingers’ Thursday being leaked).

The Machine Learning Landscape: If you work in or around any sort of SaaS product, you will doubtless have seen those mad ‘state of the marketplace’ charts that do the rounds every year or so, in which you’re confronted with threemillion logos all desperately vying for market share – well this is one of those, but for the machine learning and AI world, and JESUS THERE ARE SO MANY OF THEM. This is partly an interesting ‘fcuk me, this is already a very crowded marketplace and is only going to become moreso’ link, but also a potentially-useful bookmark should you be having to do any industry analysis around any of this sort of stuff.

Pineapple: Is ‘making a LinkedIn profile’ the sort of thing that kids are now railroaded into doing when still at school as part of ‘careers planning’ or similar? Are we all basically now forced into developing a PROFESSIONAL PERSONA even before our still-largely-inchoate personalities have properly coalesced? GREAT! For those young people for whom the prospect of penning inspirational thought leadership screeds to an audience of businessmongs doesn’t appeal, there is now an alternative – Pineapple is selling itself as ‘LinkedIn for GenZ’, which, well, WHY? It’s more visual, fine, and you can apparently show ‘the whole you’ rather than, presumably, the carefully-curated partial version you’re teasing elsewhere (MUST I show the whole me? Can I not keep part of ‘me’ for myself, or my friends? What if I don’t want to share my WHOLE SELF with my fcuking colleagues? EH????), and, er, the website’s quite glittery, and they promise that people from your FAVOURITE BRANDS are there to network with…but these things are only as useful as the network they bring with them, and I’m not 100% convinced of the utility of the platform if the only people on it are other children carefully-curating My First CV. Still, it’s probably got stickers and stuff, so who am I to judge.

Houston LGBT History:. I am not queer and I am not from Houston, much to my chagrin, but still found this archive a super-interesting record of LGBT politics and history – from scans of old zines to recollections of political organisation from the 60s, 70s and 80s, from a staggering collection of old club flyers and posters to a wonderful selection of photos of queer bars and the murals and posters that decorated them, this is just a great bit of archival work and a pleasure to browse around.

Cult Cinema Classics: One of those occasional, wonderful YouTube finds – Cult Cinema Classics is a SUPERB channel featuring a huge range of old movies, all available to stream in full. You may not think that what you really want to do with your weekend is to watch a host of ropey Westerns from the 1940s and some similarly-unstoried Italian sexploitation trash from the 60s but, actually, that is EXACTLY what you want to do. This has LOADS of…well, loads of frankly terrible-looking cinema, if I’m honest, but it’s all free and lots of it’s probably so bad it’s good, and they have classic stoner-scare public propaganda film ‘Reefer Madness’ which is always a good watch and, look, it’ll make a nice change from another mediocre film about fcuking superheroes, won’t it?

Diaries of Note: This is a great project – Diaries of Note began in January, and throughout the course of the year will present a different diary extract from The Past: “Every day, beginning on 1st January 2023, a new (old) diary entry will be published on Diaries of Note, with each entry appearing on the same day and month as it was originally written. Every single diarist will be different—nobody will appear twice—which means that by 31st December 2023 you will have been transported back in time by 365 people. In January alone, for example, you will read the journals of Katherine Mansfield, Andre Gide, Keith Richards, Beatrix Potter, MC Escher, and 26 others. Some will already be known to you; others you will be meeting for the first time. Some entries will be no longer than a few words; others will need a little more of your attention.” This week alone we’ve had the dizzying tonal juxtaposition of H Rider Haggard and Cynthia Plaster Caster, to give you an idea of the breadth of subject being covered here – this is SUCH a nice thing to add to your morning reading routine, if you have the time.

Shayne Goes To High School: I’ve always had something of a soft spot for people reading excerpts from old diaries – many years ago I went to a night called ‘Cringe’ in London, which was basically an open mic at which anyone could present a teenage diary, or bit of poetry, or indeed anything embarrassing that they had produced when but a callow teen (my personal embarrassment is now forever immortalised in print, for better or ill), and, honestly, it is SUCH a good night out – which is exactly what is happening on this TikTok channel, in which Shayne reads from her high school diaries. Shayne is (I think) maybe a few years older than I am, and so her experiences are all BIG HAIR and RA RA SKIRTS and, whilst there’s literally nothing in any of the things I have listened to so far that in any way suggests this is likely, part of me is sort of hoping that this veers into Bret Easton Ellis-style nihilistic horror (but it probably won’t).

The Consumer Aesthetics Research Institute: “CARI, or Consumer Aesthetics Research Institute, is an online community dedicated to developing a visual lexicon of consumer ephemera from the 1970s until now…CARI defines a consumer aesthetic as a visual movement unified by overarching attitudes and themes that survived long enough or became popular enough to be appropriated by capital (a bar that is being lowered constantly as our cycles of cultural propagation accelerate). Aesthetics are grouped here roughly by the time of their peak ubiquity, but many of them have examples to be found well outside that range as each movement spread from avant-garde settings to vernacular use.” This is SO interesting – you can search the archive based on the year an aesthetic was first observed, or when it dropped out of fashion, and even if (like me) your personal aesthetic is ‘increasingly-sad-eyed-tramp’ you will find much to interest you in here, and lots to learn. I don’t know about you, but I am planning on remaking my entire personality in the style of ‘SportsBrut’ from hereon in.

Ben’s Door:A webcam which captures a man called Ben as he enters and leaves his apartment. This is entirely pointless, but pleasingly so – and I particularly enjoy the fact that visitors to the site can, in the unlikely event they so desire, buy a range of merchandise featuring the slightly-blurry images captured by the doorcan. I am now slightly tempted to by a mug featuring a slightly-out-of-focus image of the back of a man I have never and will never meet.

Watsky’s New Album: Watsky is a VERY late-00s phenomenon – someone who went VIRAL in the way you can’t really get anymore, when a video of him rapping went EVERYWHERE circa 2010 and he ended up on the Ellen show, and then with a music career…Jesus, they were more innocent times, weren’t they? Anyway, for what Watsky says is going to be his last album he’s launched an OLD SCHOOL ARG! Half of the tracks have been made available online, but the other half need to be unlocked by fans who are currently collaborating on a Discord to unlock clues and unravel the mystery around the remaining songs. This is QUITE INVOLVED – if you want to take part you’ll need to be the sort of person who’s willing to get into the weeds with filetypes and names and a bit of light cryptography, but even if not there’s enough associated links and bits and pieces to make it an interesting puzzle to observe at a distance. Can we bring ARGs back, please? It feels like they should soon be a lot cheaper to run with the addition of modern AI gubbins.

1 Dataset, 100 Visualisations: A beautiful idea, this, demonstrating the impact of different design choices on a single dataset and showing some of the many, many different ways in which it’s possible to present data in an attractive and readable fashion. Basically this demonstrates why there is literally no excuse for your graphs to look boring anymore (unless, of course, YOU are boring).

Anyone: Hadn’t we all agreed that noone likes talking on the phone, and that in fact we would go to almost-absurd lengths to avoid having to actually speak to anyone on our personal telephony devices? Seemingly not according to this new app which offers…actually it’s not totally clear what it offers, other than the frankly-horrific-sounding promise to connect you with a different stranger each day for a 5-minute telephone chat. WHY???? What the everliving fcuk am I going to get out of having a stilted vocal interaction with someone I don’t know and will never meet, an interaction with no discernible purpose and which I imagine will see both interlocutors spastically flailing for things to say to each other beyond “so, what’s the weather like over there?” and “would you like to invest in my NFT proposition?” Maybe this is an idea that comes across as less psychotic to the North Americans amongst you, or any of you who are less fundamentally antisocial than I am, but I am genuinely at a loss as to how this could be anything other than staggeringly awkward (or just full of unpleasant people breathing heavily at you while they paw themselves).

Proud of Jesus: On the one hand, I generally try not to feature things in Web Curios that look like the product of the mentally unwell or vulnerable – on the other hand, the person behind this is seemingly seeking to shift crypto, so I feel little compunction in making fun of them. I have literally no idea what is going on here, beyond the fact that the creator of this site seems obsessed with Elon Musk and whether or not he is, in fact, PROUD OF JESUS, and apparently the crypto being sold will enable you to demonstrate via the medium Proud of Jesus tokens that you are, in fact, NOT ASHAMED OF CHRIST. On the one hand, this is obviously the work of a graffiti lunatic; on the other, maybe it’s worth investing JUST IN CASE? I’ll leave it up to you to decide.

By Jana Brike

OUR NEXT MIX IS A PLEASINGLY-SQUELCHY SELECTION OF ECLECTIC BEATS MIXED BY LEENA!

THE SECTION WHICH WONDERS WHETHER WE CAN TRAIN AN LLM ON THE HANCOCK TEXTS AND FINALLY BE DONE WITH THE REPELLENT LITTLE MEATSACK’S PHYSICAL EMBODIMENT, PT.2:

The AI Chapbook Gallery: This is an interesting collection of AI projects created by students as part of their course on new media art: “The 18 chapbooks presented below were developed in Spring 2023 by first-year undergraduates from the CMU School of Art in an introductory new-media art studio course taught by Professor Golan Levin. One of the units in this course is concerned with the artistic use of “AI” tools for generating images and text. In order to prompt students to experiment with these tools and develop an understanding of the “grain” of this medium, students were asked to use tools including ChatGPT and Midjourney to generate illustrated chapbooks. These artist books were then physically produced through Lulu.com, an online print-on-demand service.” It’s really interesting to see the different directions the various students chose to go in with these projects, and the range of outputs, and, oddly, the weird similarities that begin to emerge when you look at selections of AI art like this for long enough. This won’t change your mind about how good or otherwise this stuff is, but it’s really interesting to see the ways it’s been manipulated – personally I very much enjoyed the Alien Playboy magazine, but there’s loads of interesting work in here.
RadioGPT: After the Spotify AI DJ announcement last week, here comes another indication that perhaps Ken Bruce is getting out at the right time (I appreciate that for any of you reading this outside of the UK – or indeed any of you under the age of about 40 tbh – the name Ken Bruce will mean less than nothing but, well, as should have become self-evident by now, I don’t really write this for anyone other than myself anymore) – this is productised AI radio! “RadioGPTTM harnesses the power of GPT-3 — the technology that powers ChatGPT — as well as Futuri’s AI-driven story discovery and social content system, TopicPulse, to create content that’s tailored for local markets, 24/7. Then, that’s paired with the AI voice technology to bring that content to life!” So what this is offering is a full-service automated radio service, with the ability to pull in regionalised content from a variety of sources and use it to produce a ‘seamless’, 24/7 stream of programming…As with all this stuff, I can’t imagine for a second that this will sound anything other than a bit sh1t right now, but, equally, that in about a year this sort of thing will be getting used for the graveyard shift on radio stations worldwide and people will barely notice.
The AIAAC Repository: Admittedly a less-than-catchy name, but a super-useful resource if you’re keeping an eye on the current AI explosion and whether or not it’s, broadly speaking, working out well for us all. “AIAAIC is an independent, non-partisan, public interest initiative founded on the belief that AI, algorithms, and automation, and the organisations and individuals involved in their design, development, and deployment, must be transparent and honest about their aims and how they go about pursuing them. AIAAIC believes that everyone should know when they are using or being assessed, nudged, instructed or coerced by an AI, algorithmic, or automation system, understand what the system is trying to achieve and how it works, appreciate its impact, and be able to make informed decisions based on clear, concise, accurate, accessible, and timely information. AIAAIC’s mission is to make AI, algorithms, and automation transparent and open.” The whole website’s interesting, but the link here takes you to the page from which you can access their rolling database of AI ‘incidents’ – or, less euphemistically, times when fcukups have occurred as a result of the use of AI systems. So, for example, you can learn about the massive transport chaos caused in China recently as a result of a GPT-penned news alert falsely claiming that traffic restrictions had been released, and a host of other things besides!
MarioGPT: You may have seen (or you may not; I concede that it’s possible that you have better things to do than spend every single waking hour plugged into the web like some sort of latterday Alex DeLarge) the academic paper the other week which showed how researchers had managed to cobble together a system that generated playable Super Mario Bros. levels at the touch of a button – well now they’ve chucked the code up on HuggingFace, meaning you too can experience the joy of attempting to navigate a machine-generated hellscape of Koopas and blocks. This is interesting more in a ‘look what we will one day be able to do’ way rather than a ‘wow, this is incredible RIGHT NOW’ sense – the levels created (in my limited experience, at least) are only playable about half the time, and they’re not…fun, exactly, but it’s another window into a future in which the tedious business of level designedgets outsourced to The Machine.
TalkToChatGPT: This is quite amazing, in a slightly-hacky sort of way – this is a Chrome extension which gives you a speech-based interface for GPT, so you can talk to it out loud as though it was some sort of AlexaPlus-style voice assistant. It can speak in multiple languages, meaning you can set it up to work in Italian or French or German should you wish to use it to practice your linguistic skills, and if you’re skilled (and, frankly, worryingly-obsessional enough) it would in theory be totally possible to plug this into a model and create some sort of rudimentary android-type thing…Oh God, this is totally being used in sexbots already, isn’t it? Oh.
Alice: A website where Alice falls down the screen. Why is Alice falling? I haven’t got the faintest idea, but I very much like the design of this and the playful interactions the website sets up for you. A PLEA – can any of you reading this who make websites please make a concerted effort to include more weird and pointless and fun stuff in your work this year, please? We’ve got a limited amount of time before the vast majority of digital design work gets homogenised to paste by The Machines, so before that happens I’d like some more esotericism and whimsy. Please.
Emulait: An early contender for my favourite product and product name of the year, this – Emulait is a BRILLIANT idea and one of the nicest bits of design I’ve seen in a long time. Starting from the central theory that it might make bottlefeeding babies a more pleasant and natural-seeming experience if the bottle were morelike a breast, Emulait (launching later this year) will offer a range of bottles for infant feeding which are designed in a range of shapes which mimic, well, breasts, in a variety of different sizes, with nipples which also match the design of their human equivalents. These look SO INCREDIBLY COOL – honestly, they are genuinely rather beautiful – and they are even planning to offer a service whereby you can scan your own breast and get a bottle crafted based on its shape. Obviously I don’t possess breasts and am unlikely to ever find myself in the market for baby weaning materials, and as such appreciate that my opinion on this as a product is probably worthless – but, for what it’s worth, I think this is super-cool and very fun, and whilst I might have one or two doubts about exactly how necessary any of it is I am very glad that it nonetheless exists.
Mememorph: Can you think of anything more HILARIOUS than communicating with everyone you know via the medium of famous visual memes in which you’ve swapped out the face of, say, Scumbag Steve or Success Kid of Toasting Leonardo with your own? NO OF COURSE YOU CAN’T THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS! Ahem. Let me be clear that I am not endorsing this in any way – they want to charge you $7 to get a bunch of poorly-AI-rendered ‘Your Face Here!’ pictures ffs! – but it’s worth clicking the link to see exactly how shonky the resulting images look. It’s interesting (or at least I found it interesting; you may, of course, choose to disagree) that there were lots of these memes which I simply didn’t recognise without the famous face attached to them, which is curious in terms of exactly what we are recognising when we see these things. Anyway, this is a terrible, grifty piece of sh1t which is definitely not worth any money at all; equally, though, I can’t help but think it would be quite funny to start communicating with friends and acquaintances using only me-centric memes.
Playdough Surgery: Have you ever wanted to learn about exactly how surgery works, but have always been put off by all the blood and viscera and tendons and meat and gristle? Playdough Surgery is here to help! This is a YouTube channel which posts occasional videos showing specific surguicakl procedures being undertaken on plasticine (and occasionally felt) models so that you can see all the cuts and stitches and incisions and tweaks without any of the associated unpleasantness. These are both really, really impressive and significantly cuter than they really have any right to be – look at the little smiling hernia! Look at its little face! – and is the sort of thing which, who knows, might inspire your four year old to get into medical school and earn enough money to keep you in your dotage. Fingers crossed.
The Maskverse: I would LOVE to know how many of these things they have sold – should anyone have any vague idea about this, or how I might go about finding out, please do let me know. The Maskverse is an EXCITING NEW CONTENT PLATFORM which accompanies The Masked Singer in the US, and which allows SUPERFANS of the show to…er…buy an NFT associated with it, in exchange for the ability to watch ‘exclusive content’, vote on who they think will be eliminated each week (votes which have no material affect on anything), and EARN POINTS (there is no detail as to exactly what one might do with points once earned, but, well, who cares?? POINTS!!!) – but WHY?! Honestly, I think this might be the sh1ttest and most pointless attempt yet to ‘make NFTs a thing’ – why in the name of shuddering fcuk your average TV watcher in bumfcuk Nevada is going to want to ‘connect their Web3 wallet’ to this website in exchange for the square root of fcuk all is beyond me. Still, once again I offer my sincerest congratulations to whoever it was who managed to sell this concept to the network at what I presume was the height of the mad frothiness of the NFT bubble – you absolutely SCAMMED these morons, congratulations!
Feeeed: This looks like a smart and useful addition to your app roster (if you’re on iOS, at least – us poor Android users are once again an afterthought, chiz chiz). Feeeeeeeeeeed (sorry, but I can’t be bothered to pay attention to the exact number of vowels I’m meant to use here) is a smart product which basically acts as an RSS feeder on your phone, but which basically lets you pull in any website you like as a feed, including email newsletters and subReddits; think of it as Google Reader (sob!) but still alive and on your mobile.
Texts: Still not live yet but accepting signups for beta testing, Texts is a service which promises to fix one of the greatest annoyances of the modern age – to whit, the fact that there are approximately 300 separate communications platforms which are in common usage and as a result we are now expected to maintain friendships and contacts across Whatsapp and Insta and Twitter and Discord and SMS and Snap and TikTok and Email (personal AND work) and Telegram and Signal and, don’t fcuking know, Ello and Peach and and and and oh god so tired. Text, when it launches, promises to consolidate all of these messages into one universal inbox, which, frankly, sounds heavenly.
Books On Graphic Design: A selection of recommended books on the art and craft of design, selected and compiled by Theo Van Burden: “Books on graphic design (and typography) is an independent selection of books on graphic design and typography, curated by designer Theo van Beurden. Each book has been individually selected and manually added to the list, which is subject to change. Books are occasionally added or removed. Under the motto “don’t judge a book by its cover”, the format focuses on the title, author, publisher and volume of the books.” This is, to be clear, just a bunch of links to books about graphic design, but there’s something very pleasing about the, well, design and look and feel of the whole project.
The Next Thing To Do: I love this – The Next Thing To Do is a…narrative? Story? Poem? Whatever, it’s a series of thoughts, statements, ideas, all structured around questions of capital and labour and property and self, and presented as a series of nested, drop-down declarations – honestly, there’s something about this bullet-style structure that I find rather beautiful when applied to prose writing, and this, I think, is a gorgeous example of this specific genre of writing. It reminds me a lot of RishI Dastidar’s super Saffron Jack, written with a not-dissimilar structural approach and another strong recommendation if you enjoyed this piece.
Revolutionary Papers: “Revolutionary Papers is an international, transdisciplinary research and teaching initiative on anticolonial, anti-imperial and related left periodicals of the Global South. It includes over forty university-based researchers, as well as editors, archivists, and movement organizers from around the world. The initiative looks at the way that periodicals—including newspapers, magazines, cultural journals, and newsletters—played a key role in establishing new counter publics, social and cultural movements, institutions, political vocabularies and art practises. Operating as forums for critique and debate under conditions of intense repression, periodicals facilitated processes of decolonization during colonialism and after the formal end of empire, into the neo-colonial era. Revolutionary Papers traces the ways that periodicals supported social, political and cultural reconstruction amidst colonial destruction, building alternative networks that circulated new political ideas and dared to imagine worlds after empire.” This is a very academic collection, but for anyone interested in the history of leftist thought and ideas, and the way in which they were presented and articulated globally throughout the 20th Century, this is a potentially-invaluable resource.
The Gagwriter: The link here takes you to a Reddit post, which at first glance might be a bit baffling. What IS that device? What is it for? How does it work? LET ME ENLIGHTEN YOU! The Gagwriter is a prototypical device which lets the user type using their mouth – the interface is basically a dildo which has been modified with buttons and levers and suchlike so as to enable anyone to place their mouth around it and, with a combination of tongue and lips and jaw, type as normal. Yes, I know what you’’re thinking – WHERE CAN I GET ONE? Sadly this is a one-person hobby project and as such doesn’t appear to be commercially available anywhere, but the creator of this frankly magnificent device has apparently made the blueprints and build instructions available for download on this site; sadly the site wants me to register, and, if I’m honest, I am not about to had over my email address to anyone who refers to me as “a naughty bunny” on their landing page, so I’ve not been able to check whether or not the instructions are legitimate or even workable. Still, I like to imagine that at least one of you will be fearless and curious enough to click through and embark upon a DIY project for the ages. Just IMAGINE turning up on your first day at a new job with one of these – ”But you said I could bring my own keyboard”. An astonishing example of human creative ingenuity, engineering chops and, frankly, deviance.
Plagiarism for Profit: Found via last week’s B3ta, this is a great game which challenges you to replicate the slightly-crap MS Paint drawings it presents you with – the closer you manage to get to rendering the perfect poorly-drawn penguin, for example, the more points you get. Surprisingly fun, to the extent that I caught myself doing that weird ‘tip of the tongue sticking out of the corner of the mouth’ thing people sometimes do when they are REALLY concentrating on something.
Super Star Trek 25th: This is cute – a VERY OLD Star Trek game from the late-80s, reskinned with the graphics from a later Star Trek game from the mid-90s, playable in your browser. It’s more a pleasant relic than something you’re likely to spend hours playing, but it amused me for 10 minutes or so and I’ll take what I can get these days tbh.
Doom3 In Your Browser: It can only be a matter of weeks before someone’s got Doom Eternal running on an Apple Watch, surely? Doom3 – the one that noone really liked because of the fact that it had a really annoying mechanic whereby you couldn’t hold a torch AND shoot at the same time,making the whole game an exercise in frustrating, dark death – was at the time of its release a PC-meltingly high-spec title, which makes it all the more remarkable to see it running in your browser at a reasonable clip. Partly just a really impressive bit of coding, partly a fun way to kill an hour while you wait for the weekend to start, and partly a reminder of that weird period in game design where everything looked like it had been put through a filter the colour of slightly-stewed tea and everything was VERY SERIOUS.
WebGamer: If Doom3 isn’t enough for you – YOU INGRATES FFS! – then try this site, which offers you a portal to a bunch of reasonably-fancy browsergames; a few of them you will have seen in here before (the Slow Roads driving experience, for example) but others are ALL NEW and, frankly, if you can’t find something to distract you in this collection then you should probably just accept the fact that you’re terminally bored and just do some fcuking work for a change.

By Michael Dumontier

IN THE FINAL MIX OF THE WEEK, DRIFT OFF WITH THIS PERFECTLY-SELECTED PICK OF VAGUELY-SPACEY PSYCHEDELIC-ISH FUNK COMPILED BY KIM & BURAN!

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

BurgessBlog: Not in fact a Tumblr! But, you know, it FEELS like one, so. This is an old blog by Adam Roberts, in which he worked his way through the fiction of Anthony Burgess in chronological order, recording his thoughts as he went. Obviously it helps if you have an interest in Burgess or a degree of familiarity with his work, but, more generally, I find that these sorts of projects always offer interesting angles and reflections on an artist’s corpus elicited by this sort of close, structured reading.

National Trust Scones: Also not a Tumblr! But so lovely, and SUCH a great resource for those of you who like scones AND have a National Trust membership; this blog has spent several years attempting to visit every single National Trust property in the UK, and assess the quality of the scones on offer in the cafe of each. There is, apparently, only one left to tick off the list – the NT property at Giant’s Causeway, in case you were curious – and so there’s a pretty definitive ranking that’s emerged – if you’re looking for a project for the coming years, you could do worse than making it your mission to sample the 50 best National Trust scones available to you (I think that this may well be the most middle-aged suggestion I have ever made in Web Curios, and feel that I ought to somehow compensate by linking to some sort of darkweb 2cb marketplace (but I won’t).

Kiszkiloszki: AN ACTUAL TUMBLR! FULL OF COMICALLY-ANIMATED ART GIFS! Just like the olden days, frankly.

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

Farine Furniture: I don’t *quite* understand what is going on here, or what the criteria for inclusion on this feed are – as far as I can tell, it’s dedicated to bread (and occasionally butter sculptures, and occasionally cake) that looks a bit like furniture, or other stuff? Look, I appreciate that this is a frankly pitiful description, but you click the link and then come back here and tell me how the fcuk YOU would communicate its contents.
Many Worlds Vision: This was sent to me by its creator, Claudia – the feed depicts dreams she has had, as visualised by AI, along with some words about said nocturnal hallucination…ordinarily, let’s be honest, listening to other people talk about their dreams is approximately as fun as a bit of light trepanning, but this is actually rather nice; I think it’s the genuinely surreal air that the juxtaposition of words and images create which makes the feed work, but this is pleasingly curious in a way that I wasn’t expecting it to be. Claudia is also involved in the very good Dense Discovery newsletter, which has nothing to do with dreams but which is a good weekly roundup of words and links about design and semi-related matters and which you could do worse than checking out.
Avery Portraits: I’m including this not because I think the work here featured is particularly special – it’s not, to my mind – but more because of the fact that person behind it recently had to fess up to the images not in fact being photos at all – they are (of COURSE) AI-generated. There’s no suggestion that the artist was attempting to hide this, more that they hadn’t made it explicitly clear – but, to go back to the deepfakes point way back up top, this is another example of quite how easy it’s increasingly going to be to pull the wool over people’s eyes.
My Girl With A Pearl: This is SUCH a good piece of museum/gallery comms – the museum which usually houses Vermeer’s ‘Girl With A Pearl Earring’ has loaned it to Amsterdam’s Rijksmuseum for their big Vermeer show; while the painting’s elsewhere, the gallery is showcasing a variety of ‘interpretations’ of the original on this Insta feed, with submissions collected from creatives and artists all around the world. Playful and fun and a brilliant way of drawing attention to the museum even when the most famous piece from its collection is elsewhere.
Life Imitates AI Art: Images of things that look like AI fcukups but which are in fact real. You know how a couple of years ago there was a real glut of stuff being described as ‘cursed’? Like that basically. These will make you feel *funny*.
Regret Counter: An Insta feed sharing people’s phone notes about the deviant stuff they got up to on a night out. Skews VERY NYC/Brooklyn, to my mind, and there’s a very strong whiff of “I’m MAD, me!” about many of these lists of substances ingested and CRAZY things done, and, look, there is literally NOTHING less cool in the world than taking an obsessive list of every drink you drink and drug you take – but, er, that said, I am now an OLD MAN and as such there was something quite pleasing about living vicariously through lists like “1 Dexie, Two pizzas, 1xbottle Moet, 2 beers, 2gs Ket, 400ml codeine” and knowing that the hangover is someone else’s.

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

On Technological Progress: Dave Karpf writes persuasively about why it’s important that people shift from a generally ‘optimistic’ perspective when it comes to new tech to one that’s characterised by a greater degree of pragmatism. This isn’t about being a miserable doom-peddler (not like I need any help in that regard, frankly), but instead about a series of ways of thinking and critical frameworks that it might be sensible to adopt when thinking about emergent tech. As Karpf rightly points out, it’s not being negative or doomish to point out that our largely-uncritical embrace of significant digital change up til about 2015 hasn’t exactly resulted in the glorious future we were promised coming to pass. It’s worth reading the whole piece, but this is a useful overview of the general tone: “Throughout my adult life, tech optimism has been the dominant paradigm. This did not change in the aftermath of the dotcom crash. It just went on hiatus for a few years (until Web 2.0 provided the intellectual scaffolding for a recommitment to technological enthusiasm). Along the way, we have stopped regulating tech monopolies, we have reduced taxes on the wealthy, we have let public-interest journalism wither, and we have (until oh-so-recently) treated the climate crisis as a problem for someone else, sometime later. The most powerful people in the world are optimists. Their optimism is not helping.”

The Case For Shunning: This has been linked to a lot this week, but if you’ve not read it it’s a really well-argued piece of writing about why, actually, it’s a Good And Proper Thing to hold people to account for the things that they say and do, and that it’s important to remember that when person A says that they are being silenced in the modern world what it actually tends to mean is that a bunch of other people have listened to what person A has to say and concluded that person A is in fact a total ar$ehole and they don’t want to hang out with them or listen to them or reward them for their ar$eholeness anymore. This was prompted by the Scott Adams thing this week (which you can read more about here if you’re not already familiar with the guy’s mad racist schtick), but frankly can be applied to anyone shooting their mouth off on social media, or the radio, or television, or in newspapers, or on their own website, about how they are simply not allowed to say the thing that they are currently saying very loudly indeed.

Garbage Island: This is a few weeks old now but is a good piece of writing which examines a question which I honestly think is being underscrutinised at the moment – to whit, what is all this AI content going to do to the general level of human knowledge and understanding? I was talking to a friend in the pub on Sunday about the idea of a ‘water table’ of common knowledge, a sort of baseline of ‘stuff that is generally known to be true’, and the fact that the general prevalence and growth in popularity of conspiracy theories and general mad stuff is evidence of the fact that this theoretical water table has been to an extent polluted by the web; if you factor in the inevitable flood of machine-generated jank copy we’re already seeing, and the deepfaked video and audio, and the fact that noone appears to be really thinking about what happens to information gathering and sourcing and checking if we just blithely accept the prose spat out in answer to our questions by the black box inside Bing or Google…well, it scares me a bit to be honest. FCUKING CASSANDRA AGAIN FFS! Anyway, it’s not just me saying this – Ryan says it too (but better, damn him).

Welcome To The AI APIs: RIGHT ON CUE! OpenAI this week announced that they’re launching APIs for both ChatGPT and Whisper (their autotranscription service), which means that you can expect this stuff to really explode in popularity now that every single business in the world can build a chat interface on top of its website. Equally, it will now be LAW that every single advermarketingpr pitch presentation will contain at least three ideas built on this tech,and they will all be pointless and sh1t. Not YOURS, though. Yours will be great.

Using Bing: Have you got access to the new Bing yet? I got let in this week and it’s…yeah, it’s really impressive, much as it pains me to say so. If nothing else, your Junior Account Executives really have no excuse whatsoever for delivering crap research anymore, because this thing is REALLY good and market overview and topline analysis stuff. In this post, the increasingly-essential Ethan Mollick looks at some practical tips for wrangling Bing to do what you want it to – if you’re interested in the practical use of this stuff as a Centaur-like augmentation of your ability to do your tedious office job, this really is worth a read (and probably a sub too).

Noone Knows You’re Human: Or, “how are you going to prove you’re a real boy in a world in which machine-generated content is increasingly-indistinguishable from human-generated stuff?’. It’s a good question – one of my vague positive hopes for all this stuff is that we are going to see a sharp uptick in content and comms that mines the outer edges of the bellcurve, given that the centre of it is exactly where most machine-generated stuff will sit. If I had one piece of ‘strategic advice’ to give you (LOL! Advice! LOL!) about how to approach advermarketingpr in 2023 and beyond, I would suggest ‘aggressive humanity’ as a watchword. No, I don’t understand why people don’t pay me more for these nuggets either, it’s a genuine mystery.

Late Night TikTok: I had, I confess, totally forgotten that TikTok had a livestream feature – but it does, and according to this slightly-odd Insider piece, at nighttime it comes alive with VERY WEIRD STUFF. This is interesting in part because of the fact that livestreaming is still just sort of this weird, niche pursuit – despite the fact that it’s been technically viable for years, there’s still a slightly fringe-y vibe to the whole thing which seems to attract a certain coterie of people who approach it almost as outsider artists (or maybe it’s just that it also attracts people who have a degree of genuine mental illness, who knows) – and in part because, honestly, if people will watch the stuff described in the piece while they are attempting to manage their insomnia then they will TOTALLY watch whatever AI-generated claptrap The Machines manage to imagine.

Dude Perfect Are Making A Theme Park: Do you remember Dude Perfect? Sure you do! Those fratboyish American guys who made early YouTube bank by posting all those videos of them landing increasingly-elaborate trickshots and were one of the first channels on the platform to go truly globally stratospheric – yes, that’s right, THEM! You almost certainly haven’t thought about them for years, or at least I hadn’t, but this week I learned that a) they are still going, and still very successful; b) they are in fact SO SUCCESSFUL that they are going to open a fcuking Dude Perfect-themed ThemePark. Which is…amazing, but is also interesting in terms of what it tells us about modern brandbuilding (sorry), and the continued importance of lore (SORRY) and consistent worldbuilding and messaging, and how insane it is that a bunch of blokes who make videos of themselves throwing balls with uncanny precision have made enough money out of it to build rollercoasters about themselves. Should this sort of trend continue, I fully expect MrBeast to open MrBeastWorld on the moon before I die.

Bold Glamour: In this week’s “Dear God, I am so glad I am not young” news, have you seen the Bold Glamour thing? Following on from that TikTok filter which made old people like me lose their sh1t by showing them a de-aged version of themselves and causing no end of tearful nostalgic recollection, now comes one designed to mess with the heads of GenZ by offering them the chance to see what they look like as a perfectly-made-up, glow-cheeked stunner, all via the medium of AR filtering. Seriously, if you’ve not checked this stuff out yet this week then you owe it to yourself both to read this piece and then to go spelunking online for other videos showing off the tech because it really is insane; we are, what, a few short years away from this sort of thing just being standard, aren’t we? At which point welcome to a world in which noone ever wants to meet in person ever again for fear of shattering the carefully-constructed AI-curated illusion of perfection established through digital interactions.

How Shock Sites Shaped The Internet: This isn’t the first of these articles I’ve featured over the years, it’s true, but I continue to be a sucker for articles that look back on the old days of the web and all of the awful stuff that was on it (to be clear, there is still awful stuff on the web but now you don’t have to go to specific sites to find it (it just shows up on Insta, unbidden, apparently)). This piece, once again in VICE, looks at Goatse, TubGirl, 2G1C and the rest – how they came about, their place in internet culture, and whether or not we’ve become desensitised to this stuff as the web has aged. I am genuinely curious – do today’s kids (say, 17ish) get exposed to the same amount of genuinely appalling stuff that I know I saw online in the early days? Anyway, this is a pleasingly-grubby spelunk around the old corners of the web, although sadly it doesn’t mention lemonparty (NB THIS LINK IS VIOLENTLY NSFW SO BE WARNED) which I think is a sad omission which I am personally happy to correct.

£2 Buses: Francisco Garcia writes in The Face about the current temporary scheme to offer £2 bus travel on all routes around England – this a great piece of journalism, big picture and human interest combining to create a picture of the forgotten corners of the UK, where the buses come twice a day and all the old people know each other.

The Taliban’s Afghanistan: An excellent piece of writing about the current state of play in Taliban-governed Afghanistan, in which David Oks writes about the practical realities of life in Kabul and elsewhere after the West’s departure. This is genuinely fascinating, and offers perspectives I’ve not read elsewhere – it also presents a picture of the difficulties faced by the ruling clerics in an age in which their subjects all have phones and TikTok and the allure of Western capitalism and its decadent enticements is no weaker than it must have been for Soviets listening to bootlegged rock’n’roll tapes smuggled across the Iron Curtain in the 70s and 80s.

The Amstrad Em@iler: Chris Smith’s ‘Mule Britannia’ newsletter returns with this excellent piece about the history of the Amstrad Em@iler (and yes, that is exactly how it was written – it was MODERN, do you see?), one of the most incredibly sh1t internet-enabled devices in history and one which basically brought down an entire company. This is, I promise, far more interesting than a tale of electronics marketing in the 1980s has any right to be.

Ian Fleming: I don’t, personally, find James Bond in any way interesting or appealing – it might be the fact that I am the living antithesis of the debonair spy, or it might be that he’s a two-dimensional character written with all the flair and complexity of an episode of Hollyoaks, take your pick – but I really enjoyed this extract from John Higgs’ recent book about Bond and the Beatles. In it, Higgs recounts the life circumstances that led to Ian Fleming beginning the series and gives you a sense of the deeply-odd man that gave birth to the…deeply odd Bond. An excellent portrait of an old-fashioned eccentric – also, bonus points for the detail that Fleming made reference to spanking his wife in a letter to his brother-in-law, a detail which I feel perhaps ought to be investigated more fully .

Jehovah’s Witnesses Facts: Ozy Brennan read a book called ‘I’m Perfect,You’re Doomed’, all about the experience of growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness – this is a collection of some of the things they learned along the way. SO SO SO GOOD – all religions are mad (I’m sorry, but they are), but even by the standards of terrifying sky gods these are some…esoteric beliefs. FULL of good stuff, including this moderately-insane passage: “Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t get cervical cancer because they know not to have sex while menstruating. Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t get AIDS, because they don’t have gay sex or get blood transfusions. Jehovah’s Witnesses aren’t raped, because they call on the name of Jehovah and Jehovah will send angels to scare the rapists away.” How…how nice for them.

The Elliott Smith YouTube Experiment: This is a really lovely piece of writing. Starting out as an attempt to create an Elliott Smith-only YouTube profile by manipulating the algorithm, it ends up being a far more interesting meditation on algorithms and digital rabbitholes and what it is to have a ‘healthy’ relationship with content and artists and oneself. This is weirdly affecting, in a way in which writing about algorithms very rarely is.

Teens in Malls: OK, so this is a VERY AMERICAN piece insofar as it’s about teenagers hanging out in the food courts at malls which is not, for most people,a very British thing – still, it doesn’t matter whether this speaks to your personal adolescent memories or not, as, regardless, it’s just a perfect piece of observational journalism – Jamie Loftus talks to the kids, gets a feel for the places they hang out, and constructs a truly kind and generous series of thoughts and observations about youth culture and growing up and PLACE as an idea, and all sorts of other things besides. Honestly, even if you normally have no truck with Americana this really is worth reading because it’s gorgeous.

The End of Love: Finally this week, a piece published on Valentine’s Day about Merritt Tierce’s experiences of dating, and the 100+ dates she’s been on in the past years, and this is honestly one of the best things I’ve read about ‘modern love’ (whatever that means) in an age. Very funny and also very sad, this is a proper treat and I would have happily read another 10,000 words of it.

By Rose Barberat

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

This has been hyperbolicly described as ‘THE WORLD’S FIRST AI-GENERATED ANIME!’ in certain circles, so it’s probably worth pointing out that…well, it’s not quite that. AI was used, yes, but so was a bunch of real video footage and Unreal Engine and After Effects and a whole host of other things, and whilst the end results are impressive when you consider it was produced by a team of three, it’s also worth bearing in mind that it took them ~5 months and so it’s not quite the ‘HIT THE MAGIC BUTTON GENERATE DRAGONBALL!’ witchcraft that some of the more breathless commenters have claimed it is. Still, as the latest example of what can be done by tiny teams with modern tech it’s very impressive.

This is a very fun little song – pleasingly kinetic and bouncy. It’s called ‘Miss The World’, and it’s by Body Type.

The video to this track – by Noble Rot, called ‘Casting No Light’ – really reminds me of the sort of experimental Czech animation from the 1960s that you occasionally used to stumble across on early morning BBC2 back in the day – this is a cracking bit of driving instrumentalism which builds very pleasingly indeed.

Well done these people on making a bandname that I genuinely have no idea how one might say out loud – they’re called (({o})), apparently, which ought to really annoy me but I will forgive them because this track sounds a little like standing outside a chiptune rave after you’ve just gotten off a flight and your ears are still all slightly blocked and I rather like it.

I tend to feature stuff that’s a bit more obscure in the videos section of Curios, but I will make an exception for this new track by CHVRCHES because it is basically a perfect pop song and it is too powerful for me to resist it. The song’s called ‘Over’, and I imagine this is getting rinsed on whatever radio station young people listen to these days.

Years ago I featured a song by an artist called Boyfriend which was called ‘Jealousy’ and which was genuinely brilliant but which was never followed up by anything else that I could find – the artist name meant it was nearly impossible to find out anything about the artist, other than some garbled nonsense about the fact that they were a religious schoolteacher by day and a deviant performer by night. Anyway, 7-odd years later Boyfriend has once again stumbled across my radar, now doing a track with Pussy Riot, and whilst it’s not a patch on Jealousy (which I am going to repost

below because it slaps so hard) it is pleasingly sleazy and odd and the video’s weird and a bit unsettling and features Amanda Lepore which is recommendation enough of itself. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT I LOVE YOU BYE!

(BONUS CONTENT: This is that Jealousy song. Honestly, this should have been HUGE.)

Webcurios 24/02/23

February 24, 2023

admin

Uncategorized No Comments

Opening
Misc 1
Misc 2
Tumblr
Long Reads
Video

Reading Time: 34 minutes

TURNIPS! TURNIPS FOR ALL!

It would be funny were it not so spleen-fcukingly enraging, wouldn’t it? Still, it meant the Star could do a funny frontpage again so that’s ok.

Aside from anything else, Therese, when was the last time you ate a turnip? They are FCUKING DISGUSTING. Has anyone done that hilarious thing where they share an image and the pricelist for the Portcullis House canteen as a WITTY JUXTAPOSITION of the reality for these awful cnuts and that which maintains for the rest of us?

Anyway, enough of the root vegetable chat! There are links to click, words to read (or, more likely, skim over with gritted teeth while you’re trying to work out whether to click or not), music to listen to and pictures to look at – WHO NEEDS FRESH FRUIT AND VEGETABLES WHEN WE HAVE THE WEB?!

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and I didn’t have ‘the return of scurvy as a medical concern’ on my “UK 2023” bingo card and yet, well, here we are!

By Mark Gleason

THIS WEEK’S AUDIO ACCOMPANIMENTS BEGIN WITH A GENUINELY SUPERB MIX OF BRAZILIAN POST-PUNK AND NEW WAVE BY ANDY CUMMINGS!

THE SECTION WHICH, A YEAR ON FROM THE START OF THE UKRAINE WAR, THINKS IT’S WORTH DRAWING YOUR ATTENTION TO THE AP WAR CRIMES TRACKER FOR THE CONFLICT , PT.1:

Infinite AI Heroes: You may not have particularly enjoyed the infinite AI Seinfeld. You might have found the infinite radio show somewhat tedious, and not really gotten on with the infinite series of imaginary characters having awkward dates in poorly-animated CG. Perhaps, though, this will be the moment your eyes are opened to the frankly terrifying world of machine-generated entertainments that we’re about to enter, because this really is staggering. This is a Twitch channel being run by popular (and, apparently, not-uncontroversial – blimey, a cult eh?) streamer Athene, which features an ongoing, apparently live and generated on-the-fly series of interactions between an AI-generated avatar of Athene himself and a rolling cast of ‘celebrity’ guests, all spun up by AI and given prompts for what to talk about from the peanut gallery in the comments. Which is why, as I type, Joe Biden is apparently expressing some strong and forthright opinions about the ‘Dark Brandon’ meme, and people are preparing to quiz fake Joe Rogan on the chihuahua uprising in Vietnam. As per with these things, the conversations are largely stream-of-consciousness nonsense, and the faked video of the celebrities wouldn’t fool anyone, and the audio is pretty janky…but, also, it’s not actually all that bad, and it’s…oddly funny! The characters rotate quickly enough that even if there’s someone you don’t recognise onscreen when you log in, they’ll be swapped out quickly enough (the personalities on show skew hard towards YouTubers and streamers, as you’d expect), and the topic suggestions from the chat don’t (from what I’ve seen at least) get TOO edgelord-y, and in general this is a weirdly fun time – crucially, though, this isn’t significantly worse than quite a lot of actual streamer content, and one of these AI channels is 100% going to get itself a proper following by the end of the year, you mark my words (but, er, as ever, can we please agree to forget I said this if it turns out to be bunkum? Thanks).

Infinite Big Bang Theory: Don’t worry, I’m not going to include every single AI-generated infinite stream thing I come across (how quickly we become jaded! How quickly the novelty wanes!), but there are a few in here this week – partly to show the different ways people are playing with this tech, partly to demonstrate how (relatively) simple this stuff is to spin up. Here, for example, is an infinite stream of AI-generated ‘comedy’ trained on the world’s most-ubiquitous and least-amusing sitcom The Big Bang Theory – the graphics here are simple and top-down, like a 16-bit RPG, and the voice models are pretty ropey, but frankly it’s no less funny than its execrable progenitor.

Infinite Steamed Hams: This though is great, not least because of the fact that the Steamed Hams sketch from the Simpsons has basically been through the web’s memetic meatgrinder about 3million times now, and is so conceptually deep-fried that this sort of nonsensical weirdness and jank feels oddly perfect. An infinite parade of Steamed Hams variants, with Skinner and Superintendent Chalmers engaged in a neverending series of nonsensical non-sequiturs which, honestly, are…sort of surreally funny, and which combined with the ultrajanky animation which sits alongside the audio actually vaguely works. If I was a very stoned and extremely-online 16 year old then I think I would find this captivating – no idea whether that’s an endorsement or not, but there you go. Maybe YOU have a very stoned and extremely-online 16 year old you can test this out on.

Scribble Diffusion: Fun little AI sketching tool – draw out a simple idea of an image (you know the sort of thing – a kid’s drawing of a sailboat, a classic ‘house with four windows and a door and curling smoke emerging from a chimney’, that type of idea), tell the machine what it is that you are in fact drawing, and it will endeavour to turn your fat-fingered scribblings into something vaguely-recognisable. This is, more than anything, a fun thing to play around with when you’re stuck on the bus – it’s unlikely to produce anything award-winning, but as a way of doodling it’s actually pretty fun (and, amusingly, is very reminiscent of the original Dall-E interface from WAY BACK IN THE DAY when we didn’t quite realise quite how mad this stuff was going to get, and at what pace). I have particularly enjoyed asking it to create many-limbed Lovecraftian monstrosities – it’s REALLY good for spinning up unpleasantly-fleshy meat octopi, for example – but let your imagination run wild!

AI Gallery: On the one hand, this is AN Other slightly-underwhelming 3d gallery environment around which you can manouvre an avatar whilst looking at equally-underwhelming examples of AI-generated art; on the other, there’s something rather cool and borderline-atmospheric about the way they’ve done the visuals here, which made me enjoy it rather more than I expected. The art’s not very good, mind, and the accompanying descriptions are also AI-generated, meaning the whole thing feels a bit…weirdly empty of meaning, which increasingly feels like the most interesting thing about most machine-spun visuals. Still, nice work by French digital studio UltraNoir.

2Dumb2Destroy: A textbot trained on a selection of famously-stupid individuals from the fictional world, who you can chat to about anything you like (as long as you don’t mind the conversation being even more enervating than your standard GPT-based interactions). “Trained on countless hours of Pauly Shore movies, all seven Police Academies, Ralph Wiggum quotes and that one bodybuilding forum where a bunch of gym bros decided a week had eight days in it, etc. This is one A.I. you don’t have to worry about ever overthrowing humanity, or stealing your job.” This is almost-funny, but it’s interesting less because of what it says and more because we’re on the cusp of everyone and their mother (or at least everyone and their mother willing to pay a bit for the privilege) being able to train and spin up their own GPT variants with whatever training data they like, which is going to be…interesting, I think.

Spaghettify: I have an…unfortunate track record of leaving jobs in a manner that’s perhaps not as clean as one might ideally desire; there was The Email, there was the parting gift of inserting one extraneous and entirely-fictional additional line into the biographies of each senior staff member on the company website…basically I am a sucker for the pleasing gifts that departing workers can leave for their colleagues, and as such I don’t think I can adequately express how much I love the idea of Spaghettify, a service which will take any code you care to give it and render it…spaghetti-ish, adding bugs and unnecessary comments and making it needlessly obscure and, basically, making it an absolute fcuking nightmare for anyone to subsequently untangle and reuse. Now obviously this is sub-optimal behaviour from a ‘good employee and colleague’ point of view, but, well, sometimes revenge is important and this sort of petty sabotage of future endeavours is actually A Good Thing.

Everything Can Be Scanned: I like to think that this project is inspired by this genuine classic of The Old Web, but, regardless of its genesis, it is GREAT. Want to see a collection of otherwise unremarkable objects scanned at unnecessarily high resolution with no real sense of any connection between them other than their presence on this webpage? OF COURSE YOU DO! “everything.can.be.scanned (e.c.b.s) — is a project that allows you to see basic objects, which usually we don’t pay much attention to and don’t even notice them existing, in a more detailed way…e.c.b.s is a special museum that illustrates a cross-section of life in a particular time, in a particular place.” It’s unclear where that place is (although there’s a Russian translation of the website), but overall this is a lovely and slightly-baffling personal project that pleases me no end.

New Murabba: While the various consultants and in-no-way-exploited migrant worker classes get on with constructing the fever dream that is The Line in the Saudi Desert, cuddly-and-in-no-way-murderous VISIONARY FUTURIST MBS is already thinking about his next mad architectural vanity project. Would you like to know what it is? IT IS A GIANT FCUKING CUBE! A SINISTER, BLACK, GIANT FCUKING CUBE! IN THE DESERT! But, according to the website copy, it is ALSO the ‘gateway to another world’ (honestly, it really does look like the gateway to another world – specifically, the very bloody and S&M-themed world of the cenobites as envisaged by Clive Barker in his now-infamous Hellraiser series of books and films – I mean, really, this doesn’t feel like a coincidence). Actually, sorry, I am misrepresenting this – Murabba is the name of a planned new district in Riyadh, whereas the terrifying black cube is the Mukaab. So now you know. Anyway, this really does have to be seen to be believed – the CG renders are quite, quite mad, and appear to feature a surprising number of flying cars which seems…a stretch for a project that’s aiming for completion by the end of the decade. Still, who wouldn’t want to explore “the world’s first immersive, experiential destination. Where hospitality, retail and leisure reach new levels, all in breathtaking, ever-changing environments”? NO FCUKER, etc! Honestly, I strongly recommend you download and check out the press kit, this is another absolute DOOZY and I would pay good money to sit down with the people who sold this fever dream to find out exactly what they are planning to do with the inevitable 70zillion quid they have been promised.

Artifact: You might have seen the announcement of this new app, from former Insta people, which was billed at its unveiling as ‘TikTok for Text’ – Artifact (for that is what it is called) is now OUT, and you can experience it yourself whether on Android or iOS and, well, it is not TikTok for text. Artifact is designed to help you consume written material with the same ease and AI-assisted content discovery as the world’s most popular form of visual crack – you sign up, you tell it the broad verticals you are interested in, and it feeds you content based on those selections. After you’ve read 25-odd articles the machine will start learning your interests and preferences with greater specificity and begin tailoring its recommendations with greater accuracy. I have only been playing with this for a day or so, admittedly, but I am…rather underwhelmed, at present. Perhaps it’s not designed for me – it’s not its fault that I already read a LOT – and it will be more useful for those of you who don’t spend your days attached to the information firehose with your jaw dislocated and a faraway look in your eyes. Anyway, you can read more details here should you so desire – personally I don’t quite see this being a gamechanger, but then again I am a know-nothing bozo so, well, who knows?!

The Link Ads: A Twitter account which features lonely hearts advertisements run in the short-lived magazine The Link, published between 1915-21. “The Link was founded in 1915 as “Cupid’s Messenger” by Alfred Barrett as a response to the loneliness he observed in society. Through the publication, people could get in touch with like-minded souls for friendship, correspondence, and more.” These are WONDERFUL – partly because, well, who doesn’t love a little bit of century-old sauce, but also because of the wild plurality of what people are after and into and the poetry of some of the listings. How can you not fall for a lonely hearts ad that reads: “”Hope (Midlands). – Would anyone seeking sunshine like to see how much could be crammed into an enevlope? Either sex. (738.)”? Impossible.

Critical Danger: Critical Danger is an initiative by a collection of artists and designers who have, er, designed a bunch of merchandise in conjunction with digital agency (I think that’s what they are, anyway) Somefolk and all the proceeds of the stuff for sale goes to wildlife charities – the tshirts here are rather cool, and the money’s going to a good cause, so should you be in the market for NEW GARMS then you could do worse than look here.

The Barter Archive: A BEAUTIFUL PROJECT! The Barter Archive “aims to preserve the stories and collective memories of the people working at the Billingsgate Fish Market at Canary Wharf, London. The archive begins as a series of observational drawings which are gradually exchanged for the fishmongers’ stories, memories and personal objects.” Honestly, I can’t stress how much I love this, both the works and the concept behind them – the drawings are gorgeous, but so are the stories, and the whole project is just perfect. “Barter Archive is a community-led archive constructed by artist Pat Wingshan Wong in collaboration with the fishmongers at the Billingsgate Fish Market at Canary Wharf, London. The archive engages with the idea of barter physically and symbolically. It includes memorable objects ‘bartered’ by the artist using her observational drawings of the happenings in the space, as well as videos that document stories and memories of the people. It preserves the collective memory of the Billingsgate community and challenges the domination of capitalism, highlighting and questioning the ways value is assigned through culture and society.” Please do click this one, it’s SUCH a nice bit of art and local history and personal storytelling.

The Snap Lens Devthon 2023: While everyone is getting superfrothy about AI, Augmented Reality tech continues to sputter along with the air of something that was very cool a few years ago and which hasn’t quite realised that it is no longer The Thing. Which is a shame, frankly, as whilst we’re still waiting for the killer use case for AR anything, the tech’s improving at a pretty decent clip as this latest batch of digital creatives who’ve won prizes for innovative use of Snapchat can attest. There’s some really nice work in here, partly from a technical point of view but also creatively – AR gardens instinctively feels like something fun and playful and that should just…work, and the voxelised roomscanning build is genuinely impressive. Basically just be aware that every cnut submitting work to Lions this year is going to be doing something with fcuking AI (if you’re getting GPT to write your submission you have already lost, FYI) so maybe AR will make you stand out in a pleasingly-retro manner.

The Museum of Sounds: HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS? This feels like EXACTLY the sort of thing that really should have limped across my field of vision by now, and yet I don’t think I have ever been alerted to the fact that not only is there a digital Museum of Sound online but that there is also an accompanying SOUND OF THE YEAR AWARD (there is going to be a ceremony at the British Library this year, and should anyone involved happen to stumble across this writeup then please know that I would give a kidney to attend)! Anyway, the Museum of Sounds is a somewhat-mysterious thing, maintained by the BBC Radiophonic Workshop and featuring clips of all sorts of different sounds arranged in groups of five and ranging from the sounds of beavers (snuffly, cute) to the sounds of corncrakes in Ireland, to the sound of loose paving slabs and manhole covers on London streets – if it wasn’t for the fact that I have started and so have no choice but to finish this week’s Curios I would totally spend the rest of the morning basking in the aural splendour that is the sound of a spinning 10p piece recorded in high definition.

Blink: Have we finally run out of variations on dating apps? Have we reached the end of the swipe-to-sex pipeline? I have no idea, stop asking me, but it does seem as though we’re reaching the fag-end of innovation in this particular sector. The latest attempt to reinvigorate the tired-seeming app landscape is Blink, which offers as it’s singular gimmick the fact that its ‘dates’ are initial phone conversations that you schedule with a potential match at a mutually convenient time – you and your suggested partner get matched based on standard criteria (the type of relationship you’re looking for, location, interest, etc) and then you’re put together for a 10 minute ‘getting to know you’ chat (no video, just talk) before you can decide whether to keep messaging or move on with your life (you also get to see photos of people before you get to message them – anonymously – so you can weed out anyone who makes your feel physically sick or that guy who once sang at you in a restaurant and who keeps showing up on your Hinge). This feels…tough, to be honest. Is a 10 minute phonechat with a total stranger the best way of determining whether you might want to let them put things inside you for the rest of your natural life? Still, worth a try, and if nothing else I reckon you could have quite a lot of fun with this if you didn’t take it too seriously (if nothing else, this feels like it might be perfect for comedians refining material – although very much not perfect for anyone unfortunate enough to match with them).

The A24 Auctions: I didn’t realise that film company A24 has a website through which they regularly auction of film memorabilia – but they do! Currently on sale (bids are being taken til early March) are a bunch of props from last year’s BIG SMASH POPULAR HIT MOVIE ‘Everything Everywhere All At Once’ – I obviously haven’t seen it (I am, as previously mentioned, broadly Michael Owen-ish when it comes to cinema), but I understand it is very good and features fingers shaped like hot dog sausages, should you wish to attempt to buy them.

By Cecilia Bonilla

WHY NOT SOUNDTRACK THE NEXT SECTION WITH THIS HOUSE MIX BY TIM ANDRESEN? THERE IS NO GOOD REASON!

THE SECTION WHICH, A YEAR ON FROM THE START OF THE UKRAINE WAR, THINKS IT’S WORTH DRAWING YOUR ATTENTION TO THE AP WAR CRIMES TRACKER FOR THE CONFLICT , PT.2:

Towns: Go on, admit it, you’d forgotten about Web3, hadn’t you? WELL IT HASN’T FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU! The latest evolution in ‘The future of the web is transactional an on-chain’ appears to be this – Towns, a new platform which has been set up by people previously involved in Clubhouse (so you know it’s good!) and which is seeking (I presume) to capitalise on the general feeling that social media is in something of a flux and there is a bit of a platform reconfiguration going on, and that people might be in the market for somewhere new to congregate. Which, I get it, makes sense and is in general all well and good. The bit where I quite quickly start to lose interest and, frankly, the will to live, though, is when it gets into the practical details of how it’s all meant to work and the idea of being able to buy and sell communities on the chain and…no, sorry, NOONE NEEDS OR WANTS THIS. Aside from anything else, the idea of communities as tradeable commodities does to my mind rather miss the point of what a ‘community’ is meant to be (on or offline) besides just sounding like an invitation for miscreants to build up, I don’t know, an engaged community of well-off middle-class stereo enthusiasts and then sell it to one of their crypto grifter mates so that said community can be grifted into penury. I do not like this at all, basically, but am comforted by the fact that this strikes me as having approximately the same chance of any other Web3cryptoproject of MAKING IT in 2023 (to whit, approximately nil).
Smithsonian Roulette: Are YOU on Mastodon these days? Would you like an account to follow over there which posts random curiosities from the collection of the Smithsonian Museum? MAYBE YOU WOULD. Thankyou to John Horner for sending me the first on-Mastodon Curio in the 11 years I’ve been writing this thing; consider this your Blue Plaque.
Dimensions: Another ‘Jesus, have I really not featured this on here before? FFS Matt!’ link – but a wonderful one. Have you ever wanted an objective resource to determine how big everything is? YES YOU HAVE AND HERE IT IS! “Dimensions.com is an ongoing reference database of dimensioned drawings documenting the standard measurements and sizes of the everyday objects and spaces that make up our world. Created as a universal resource to better communicate the basic properties, systems, and logics of our built environment, Dimensions.com is a global platform for increasing public and professional knowledge of life and design.” This is simultaneously sort-of insane and equally, I presume, very useful – if you’re a designer who deals in real-world measurements then you’re probably familiar with this resource already, but, for the rest of you, welcome to the rest of your life, in which you will never again have to take ill-informed guesses as to the standard size of an army cot mattress, or the exact measurements of Blofeld from James Bond.
SwissGL Demos: A collection of small, hypnotic and very pretty coding demos which I don’t really understand the purpose of but whose existence I am gladdened by. The Spectrogram one in particular is rather fun.
Contact Sheets: A very rare link to Pinterest here, courtesy of Daniel Benneworth-Gray who over the years has spent time compiling this board of old contact sheets from photoshoots of the past. There are some great images here – classics you’ll have seen before, including iconic (sorry) shots of Ali and others, but also images of people you might be less familiar with, such as painter Chuck Close. It’s fascinating to see the different ways in which people approach the camera, and as a resource for learning about what makes a ‘good’ shot (and, interestingly, the difference between a photo that is merely ‘good’ and one that is ‘great’).
The World Dataviz Prize 2023: How long has David McCandless been doing Information Is Beautiful? However long it is, it’s fair to say that McCandless has single-handedly been responsible for the elevation of datavisualisation to a near-fetish over the course of the past ten years or so, and that the increased interest in the skill (and its evolution thanks to evolutions in digital design and interactivity) has seen the quality of work in the field improve significantly. This link takes you to this year’s crop of nominees for the annual BEST DATAVIZ IN THE WORLD prize, and as you’d expect there are some wonderful and very smart examples. Personally speaking I find the almost-calligraphic design of this example particularly pleasing, but you will doubtless find your own favourites.
Spy Balloon Simulator: Were you disappointed that it wasn’t space aliens? I confess to being a little let down by the fact that we weren’t being visited by extraterrestrial intelligences (although maybe, just maybe…), but found some solace in this website which lets anyone who might want to simulate the flight of a massive spy balloon do exactly that. Turns out that getting a balloon to end up where you want it to is…hard, frankly – but if you’d like to track some actual, real-life amateur high-altitude balloon launches (and, frankly, who doesn’t? NO FCUKER, etc) then you can also do so here. Web Curios – topical, thrilling, balloon-related content, right in your inbox. Do you get this from those cnuts on Substack? Do you fcuk.
Verdant Futures: This made me very happy – I don’t quite know what to do with it, but I am glad that this exists and wanted to share it with you. As far as I can tell, Verdant Futures is a small collective of people based in the South West who are running a bunch of interconnected businesses and community initiatives centred around books and literature. “Verdant Futures is a Social Enterprise – an organisation that applies commercial strategies to improve peoples’ financial, social and environmental well-being. It is also a hybrid digital and physical business – a must have in today’s connected world. We sell our goods online around the world, using re-commerce strategies, while also giving our customers a high-quality retail experience through our shops and services.” So they fund their projects to rescue books through the British Book Rescue Scheme through other initiatives like selling books by the yard, they run charitable projects…this seems like an incontrovertibly Good Thing, frankly, and should any of you be based in the South West (Bath, specifically), perhaps it’s something you might be interested in getting involved in?
Formula Generator: You may not think that all this newfangled AI stuff is for you; you may have no truck with the idea of making machines imagine Boschean horrors, or making them compose villanelles about honey-roast ham. This, though, this is PRACTICAL, it is USEFUL and if you’re still struggling to think of ways in which all this natural language AI stuff is going to change the world then maybe it will help you understand in some small way. This is a plugin for Google Sheets which lets you ask it, in normal people words, to create formulas for anything you like – AND THEN IT DOES IT! “I want to multiply all those things in that column (but not the ones that are Prime Numbers) by all the things in that row over there” – stuff like that. I am sure that for those of you who are less cack-handed with the spreadsheets than I am this won’t be quite as magical, but it’s less about that and more about what this shows in terms of use-cases. MAGIC, I TELL YOU.
AIBert: This is an interesting idea, though I am unsure as to whether anyone will want or like it enough to shell out for a monthly fee. AIBert is basically ‘all the AI gubbins, in WhatsApp’ – you add it as a contact and you can use it either as ChatGPT or as Midjourney, sending it prompts and getting results in return. Which, fine, is literally just a bundling exercise and you could do exactly the same without paying by just using two separate services rather than one, but where’s the fun in that? I wonder how long this will keep working before its API access gets throttled or all the bits of string holding it together start to erode, but I am impressed with the entrepreneurial chutzpah involved in cobbling it together. Lol at the idea that someone would pay $27 a month, though.
Memo: I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced this, but when I went to international school at 15 I was suddenly surrounded by wealthy people who had largely been the product of an international education, meaning that they all spoke that very specific and peculiar brand of teenage English that you can only learn by spending your entire childhood speaking the language with non-native speakers whilst at the same time being taught almost exclusively by North Americans and consuming North American, and which basically means that everyone sounds like a super-successful Swedish music producer but with the vocabulary of a wannabe valleygirl (it was 1995, after all). Anyway, that’s by way of not-particularly-illuminating intro to Memo, a language learning app which promises to teach you the tongue of your choice via the medium of memes and YouTube videos – you listen and are asked to repeat phrases from pop culture, TV, films, sports, memetic hits of yesteryear…I am not 100% certain exactly how useful it will be to you to be able to say “Damn Daniel, back again with the X” in French, but, well, maybe it will be the breakthrough you need. Also from what I can tell there’s no suggestion that this app features an appallingly-horny cartoon owl as its mascot, so perhaps that detail will swing it for you.
Eel Rents: So it turns out that between the 10th and 17th Centuries in the UK, property owners would on occasion charge rent in eels. As in, you (the tenant) would be required to pay a fixed sum of serpentine sea creatures to your landlord in exchange for continued use of the property. I have MANY QUESTIONS – did the eels need to be delivered alive? Were they all delivered on one day – EEL DAY! – or were they handed over as and when they showed up? Was there some sort of minimum quality or size threshold that needed to be reached for the eels to be considered viable? Sadly this website doesn’t tell you any of that, but it does confirm that Geoffrey de Mandeville of Chippenham received 1500 of the things in 1086 and for that we can ALL be grateful. Via the wonderful Blort, this one.
Lucy Ives: Absolutely one of the best-designed personal portfolio homepages I have seen in ages, Lucy Ives is a writer of novels and short stories and essays, and this site collects various writings and information on her books and, honestly, I fcuking LOVE the way this looks and is laid out; like a series of oldschool Macintosh dialogue boxes (but, er, loads better than that, honest).
Experiments in AI Video: A short Twitter thread showing off some of the work people have been doing using Runway ML, the AI-powered video editing tool I featured in here…last week? Christ, I have no concept of time anymore. Anyway, these are quite amazing – shonky, fine, but also astonishing when you take a moment to think of how good this is going to get in 12 months. The bits where the software takes an assembly of cardboard boxes and turns it into a cityscape with various building styles applied is…honestly, just astonishing.
Soft White Underbelly: Soft White Underbelly is a YouTube channel featuring “interviews and portraits of the human condition by photographer Mark Laita”, and whilst you might not be interested in every single subject on display here there is a staggering breadth and range of people who Laita has spoken with and whose stories he shares here. From bounty hunters to former drug addicts, a trans child and their father to people who spend their lives hopping freight trains across the US, these are beautifully shot and generally (from the handful I’ve seen at least) sensitively handled and pleasingly-unsensationalist. If nothing else it’s an interesting look at how to apply a very specific style and tone to a video series (but, also, there are some FASCINATING people on here).
Togetherdraw: Collaborative drawing on an infinite scrolling canvas – every simultaneous visitor to this URL gets the opportunity to scrawl and draw to their heart’s content, with the caveat that the canvas on which you draw is slowly and inexorably vanishing at the top of the screen. Pleasingly ephemeral, and there’s something particularly nice about the ‘feel’ of the brushes here (try it, I promise you’ll see what I mean). Also, on the couple of occasions I’ve tried this when someone else has been online, all the strangers have been pleasant and I haven’t seen anyone write anything horrible. Which, I appreciate, shouldn’t necessarily be noteworthy, but we are where we are.
Date Your Cat: This is too soon for me (RIP Bowsks), but if you’ve ever wanted to go on a slightly-surreal and conversationally-unsatisfying ‘date’ with a CG animated cat, whose ‘personality’ is powered by some sort of rudimentary text AI then HERE YOU GO! This is funny, in a slightly-shonky way, but I also worry that we’re about to enter an era in which every single brand with a ‘personality’ feels the need to create a similar interactive avatar as the natural language guide to their website, like a sort of Clippy on neuroenhancing drugs, and it will be horrid. Or brilliant, it’s very hard to tell anymore.
WTTR: I don’t know why I find this super-minimalist weather website thing so appealing, but I do. Add the name of anywhere you like after the slash to receive ASCII-ish weather predictions for the coming week; not only is this really nicely done (lightweight code, clear graphics, etc) but it is also 100% faster and more user friendly than any of the useless fcuking weather services that my sh1tty phone insists on defaulting to, so MANY THUMBS UP to this, it is great.
Wood Wide Web: I LOVE THIS. “As part of the Poetry Games exhibition at the National Poetry Library, Playing Poetry and Phoenix Cinema & Art Centre launched a commission to invite two artists to explore the intersection of poetic writing and game-making. Artists Mariana Marangoni and Rianna Suen collaborated over the course of two months, developing a joint practice looking at digital literacy, online communities and ecopoetics…Out of the commission, Marangoni and Suen, along with sound designer Mikey Parsons, developed a new game affectionally called Wood Wide Web. Part idyllic walking sim, part cottage-commodore-core pixel art generator, Wood Wide Web invites the player to tend to a digital world, planting seeds by writing poetic texts, which grow into trees and in turn spread to become entire forests.” Honestly, this is so beautiful and pure – just wander round and play with it, type away and see what your words become, enjoy the clues and the mystery.
Mr Global 2023: You may have enjoyed the BAFTAs (also, if you’ve not read it, this is a superb bit of writing by Stuart Heritage on That Moment); you may be waiting for the Oscars. Know, however, that thebiggest day of awards season has already been and gone, with the annual Mr Global male beauty pageant – BUT FEAR NOT BECAUSE HERE ARE THE PHOTOS! As per every year, My Global requires participants to wear ‘typical national dress’ of their nation as one part of the pageantry, and once again the costumes do not disappoint. Come for the deep-as-the-Marianas-Trench eyes and the smouldering gazes; stay for the frankly insane spectacle of genuinely beautiful men wearing genuinely appalling outfits. WHY IS BELGIUM A GIMPWOLF? WHY IS CHILE COSPLAYING AS ELSA FROM FROZEN? WHY ARE THE COMPETITION ORGANISERS INCAPABLE OF SPELLING ‘THE NETHERLANDS’ CORRECTLY? So many questions, none of which will likely be answered by this link – still, these are VERY BEAUTIFUL BOYS, so enjoy their cheekbones (and, honestly, pity the poor guy from the Philippines who you feel must have been mercilessly ribbed by everyone else because…oh God, seriously, just click the link and GAWP). Also, hang on, WHY IS THERE NO MR UK? OR MR ITALY? Should anyone from Mr Global chance upon this, know that I am available next year and can probably fill both roles for the price of one. A
AI Taboo: A fun little game – can you force the AI into saying specific words based on the questions you ask it? Very easy at the lowest difficulty, but troublingly-impossible (for me at least) when you whack it up to ‘hard’ (YOU try getting GPT to say ‘paucity’, go on).
Clickwords: Finally this week, I know that you all probably have your morning word game routines worked out by now, but let me present this new variant for your consideration – I promise it has fcuk all to do with Wordle (other than the fact that you get a new puzzle each day). Instead, the setup is a bit like Scrabble; you’re given a board with a selection of letters already placed on it, and over the course of the game you’re given 60 tiles, three at a time, with which to form words on the small board and score as many points as possible. Simple but surprisingly deep when you get into it, this is annoyingly addictive and has added an additional 10 minutes to my daily ‘time it takes Matt to stop fcuking around on the web and do some actual, paid work’ (currently standing at 130 minutes, fact fans).

By Sukhy Hullait

THE FINAL MIX OF THE WEEK IS THIS CRACKING SELECTION OF AMBIENT AND DISCO AND FUNK AND ALL-ROUND ECLECTICISM BY STELLA Z!

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

Daily Wiki: A new Wikipedia entry linked to each day. No idea who by, no idea on what basis, no idea what for. Does there need to be a reason? THERE DOES NOT!

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

CreepMart: Another ‘we’ve found an interesting vector in latent space, now let’s mine the fcuk out of it!’ AI art account, this time exploring the interesting world of imaginary kids toys from a sinister, machine-imagined past. Again, these appeal to me less because of the details on the individual images (although some of them are very good) and more because of the aesthetic space they all inhabit.
All Things Fungi: Because who doesn’t love a little bit of mycology? NO FCUKER, etc!
Lil Hugy: Sent to me by my friend Gill, with the line ‘This person should be Adidas’ creative director’ and, well, she’s right. I don’t know who Hugy is, or why they are, or what the significance of a person in a vinyl bear’s head wearing streetwear might be, but this ‘goes hard’ as I believe the kids say (don’t worry, I am cringing even more than you are at that last line; I am going to leave it intact, though, because otherwise I will never learn).

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

How To Do Things With Deepfakes: It feels like the panic around Deepfakes has been rather done the wrong way round – hugely overblow when it first appeared with the initial, rudimentary faceswapping tech 3-4 years ago and (to my mind at least) really not overblown enough now. This link is to an academic paper which explores some of the practical, adversarial ways deepfakes might be used – but, honestly, you don’t need to rely on theory. Here’s an article from just this morning outlining how ElevenLabs speech-spoofing tech can bypass voice recognition controls within the Lloyds Bank app! Here is a video shared by an actual real-life politician in Kenya which features a faked Joe Biden decrying the evils of sodomy! And here’s a video about the process of making an AI clone of oneself (video and voice)! Between this and the deepfake bongo stuff I featured in here last week, it feels we’re on the cusp of something of a deluge of this type of thing, and, as per, it doesn’t 100% feel like we’re necessarily prepared for it.

How Not To Test GPT3: Or ‘here are some examples that should go some small way to reassuring you that The Machine is not yet capable of anything we would conceive of as ‘thought’’, which is also a sentence I wish it wasn’t necessary to write (seriously, I reiterate my prediction that there will be at least one reasonably-vocal ‘Church of the AI God’ set up by the end of 2024 – again, though, please feel free to scrub this prediction from your memories when it turns out to be total b0llocks). What I find particularly interesting about this – and potentially a little troubling – is the extent to which the software’s ability to spoof this sort of thinking will be boosted by its future ingestion of people talking about exactly how it currently doesn’t actually ‘think’; I am genuinely fascinated by the weird, recursive rabbitholes of training data that we’re almost certainly about to start heading down.

The AI Bubble of 2023: I thought this piece – which is written very much from the point of view of an investor, and is very much not the sort of thing I usually feature in here – was a useful summary guide to some of the things it’s worth looking out for in the first wave of massive AI hype we’re currently going through. This is all generally good advice, and I particularly liked the overall point about how it is is entirely possible and indeed legitimate to simultaneously believe that this is a genuinely transformative technology AND that it is being massively oversold and overvalued, and there are also some decent points here which you might want to apply should you be interested in riding the AI hypewave for fame, fun or financial gain (the most important of which is ‘there is a window during which people will pay attention to anything with ‘AI’ in the title, and that window is slowly closing’).

AI and the Law: You will doubtless have seen cuddly Magic Circle law vampires Allen & Overy announcing that they were introducing AI into their workflow; you may not have noticed that equally-morally-upstanding litigators Mishcon are currently advertising for a prompt engineer (“Tell me you’re not in any way serious about this without telling me you’re not in any way serious about this”) – either way, the law appears to be embracing AI in a big way. This piece in WIRED looks at What That Might Mean – it’s generally positive, explaining the use cases and some of the practical guardrails that firms are putting in place to lesson some of the more hallucinatory imaginings of The Machine – what it doesn’t address at all, though, is a question I’m increasingly interested in around the potential unintended consequences of this sort of stuff. I remember YEARS ago reading something about the potential for machine learning in the knowledge economy which specifically referenced the ability of AI to do much of the heavy lifting in terms of reading and collating information, and doing research into case law, etc, that was traditionally the purview of legal juniors and paralegals, and which asked the question ‘if young lawyers no longer need to spend time immersing themselves in the materials of the profession as part of their training, because instead of finding their own examples or precedents they can just ask a machine to sort through 3million legal documents in 0.17s, what knowledge are they potentially failing to acquire which they will find they really miss later in their careers?’. Obviously the answer to this is basically a giant shrug emoji – muchlike everything else in the field of AI right now – but I do wonder at what point we’re going to start thinking about this stuff more seriously than we currently seem to be.

Do Not Get The Machine To Plan Your Workout: I predicted a few months back that we were going to see at least one instance of someone being horrifically injured as a result of attempting to follow an exercise regimen invented by GPT – OK, so that hasn’t quite come to pass, but this article suggests that I am 100% right and that anyone seeking to get a workout designed for them by AI should probably factor in a lengthy spell in A&E as part of their recovery time. There was a point here where I legitimately winced – I think it was the idea of ‘kettlebell windmills’, and what that might do to a person’s rotator cuff – and I am still confident that we’re on track for someone seeking to sue OpenAI for GPT-directed injuries before the year’s out.

The AI Bongo Is Coming: This is a more interesting article than my title makes it sound (so why did you write it like that. Matt, you fcuking moron? Jesus) – the piece interviews a bunch of current adult content creators working on OnlyFans about their attitudes towards the (seemingly inevitable) tide of AI-generated bongo that’s coming our way, and the different attitudes towards it from different niches of the creator community. Personally I found quite a lot of this touchingly naive – the idea that there is some sort of uniquely human collection which can be fostered between a busy cam performer and the marks parasocialising with them which can’t be adequately replicated by a decent chatbot seems…unlikely, frankly, but I guess they know the business better than I do. What was particularly noteworthy was that literally none of the people interviewed had any doubts that this was on its way – they differed only on how they imagined the shift would manifest itself.

Please Acknowledge The D1ck: Or, ‘Inside a Catfishing Factory’, a company which exists to keep lonely old men (it is, as far as I can tell, exclusively lonely old men) texting with imaginary pulchritudinous young women for ever and ever and ever – the men find the ‘girls’ through exactly the sort of scammy adverts you’d imagine, and, once reeled in, pay a per-message fee to correspond with the beautiful and strangely-eager woman of their dreams. Except – and be warned, this may shock you – the girls aren’t what they appear, and the people they are texting are not in fact the nubile-yet-oddly-demure girls in the pictures but instead a rotating cast of low-wage pieceworkers who are employed to keep the marks interested and engaged while the text fees rack up. This is obviously heartbreaking on some level – although, equally, I am silently cheering on the old men who are abandoned in homes by uncaring relatives and are slowly burning through their kids’ inheritance at the rate of one smutty SMS at a time), but I also thought it an interesting companion piece to the last one about AI bongo – this seems to me exactly the sort of service that could effectively be replicated with a lightly-trained GPT model, which rather makes me think that the parasocial layer which keeps the mooks returning might be a bit easier to dehumanise than some of the performers currently believe.

Songwriters Are Broke: This was news to me, but on reflection is perhaps unsurprising – turns out that songwriters are the latest niche industry tro find that the bottom has rather fallen out of the market. An interesting piece in Rolling Stone which looks at how the metrics have shifted over the course of the past few years, and how even a single writers credit on a big-name artist’s album track won’t keep the wolf from the door anymore. Annoyingly there’s a lack of focus on the ‘why’ behind this, but it’s hard to see beyond a combination of shifting revenue models and an overabundance of supply being two of the major driving factors; which, and I’m sorry to say this, doesn’t make me feel super confident about the long-term future of music as a viable commercial career in a world in which the models are only going to get more stretched and the supply issue is about to explode.

RIP WC: I can confidently say that I have never featured an article from The Beauty of Transport in here, nor indeed have I ever written anything extolling the beauty of old train station toilets. Well, there’s a first time for everything – I promise you that this is LOADS more interesting than you’d think a piece about, er, old urinals in British train stations ought to be, and it features a bunch of gorgeous photographs of some beautifully-designed pissoirs, and it’s more generally interesting as a meditation on how we might think about preserving these sorts of architectural and design oddities, and why this doesn’t happen more often. I PROMISE YOU THIS IS GOOD, I PROMISE.

Guiliani: The first of two London Review of Books articles this week; this one is a wonderful review of a new biography of Rudy Giuliani, a man who is now just a rather sad punchline to a tired joke (which wasn’t hugely funny in the first place), but who in the 1990s was genuinely seen as something of a visionary, the man who turned New York from a place that was perceived as a hotbed of violent criminality into the world’s number one city by the end of the decade. Fine, so a lot of the policies that he enacted to achieve that transformation were…a touch illiberal and arguably quite racist, and his monomaniacal focus on crime meant that large swathes of the rest of the city’s administration were comparatively neglected, but, well, omelettes and eggs, right? This contains some frankly staggering anecdotes, including one that will make you revise the whole ‘Phil Collins chucking his wife by fax is the worst dumping story EVER’ narrative in your head (also, justice for Phil as that story isn’t in fact true anyway).

Illegal Gold Mining In South Africa: Thanks to Michael for sending this my way – this is an astonishing story, not only really well-written but full of bits that will make you pause and shake your head and mutter “hang on, WHAT?” to yourself – I mean, just take this short passage as an example: “In 2015, Simon entered the mines by paying a thousand dollars to a local syndicate boss, known as David One Eye, who allowed him to walk into the tunnels via an inclined shaft just south of Welkom. One Eye, a former zama-zama himself, had risen from obscurity to become one of the most fearsome figures in the region. He was powerfully built from lifting weights, and he had lost his left eye in a shooting. The syndicate would charge Simon more than twice as much to exit the mines. He remained underground for almost a year, subsisting on food provided by One Eye’s runners. He came away with too little money, so he went into the mines again, paying the same syndicate to lower him with a rope. He became accustomed to life underground: the heat, the dust, the darkness. He planned to remain there until he was no longer poor, but in the end he came out because he was starving.” A YEAR?! A YEAR LIVING UNDERGROUND IN AN ILLEGAL GOLDMINE?? This, honestly, is full of bits like this – the South African mining community doesn’t come out of this particularly well, it’s fair to say (you know who else comes from a South African mining family? You do, don’t you!).

Can You Ever Escape London?: The Fence magazine recently asked people what journalistic tropes they expected to be heartily sick of by the end of 2023, and a surprising number of people cited ‘articles about moving back to London’ – in deference to that, then, here’s the only piece of that ilk I will put in Curios this year (A PROMISE, unless, er, I forget, or someone writes something really brilliant). Clive Martin, who moved to Somerset a few years ago, returns to the capital and shares his thoughts – I very much enjoy Clive’s writing and would basically read his shopping lists were it not a singularly-creepy way of displaying my appreciation, and this is no exception; it’s full of observations like this, which I particularly liked: “There was something else I noticed: the signage. London appears to be reaching peak Helvetica, with endless notices spelling out the machinations of the city in a cloyingly apologetic, faux-human tone that suggests either ChatGPT or a legion of disillusioned copywriters all working on the same brief. At the Waterloo branch of Foyles – always a nice respite from commuter chaos – there was a refurbishment notice. But instead of it reading simply, “This shop is closed for planned renovations”, it read, “We know shutting up shop isn’t ideal, but we’ll be back soon, new and improved”. Small beer, perhaps, but the language felt very HR, like London was about to call me upstairs and slide a P45 across the desk.”

The Care Crisis: This is long, serious and pretty much the opposite of cheerful – it’s also very well written and very well argued, and is this week’s second LRB article. Here, James Butler reviews three recent books on the current care crisis in the UK, and through so doing presents a (frankly miserable) picture of where the country is and how it got here.You will either know about all of this stuff already as a result of personal circumstances (and in which case, solidarity), or you won’t but you will probably know deep down that you are going to need to get your head around it soonish because, well, this is all of our futures. It’s impossible to read this without thinking, variously, a) the systems that govern pay and remuneration are broken; b) there are some areas on life where it is not possible for the private sector to play a positive and ameliorative role; and c) I really, really hope that the care robots get invented soon, because otherwise I am 100% topping myself when I start to get a bit wobbly.

For The Love Of Losing: A brilliant piece of writing by Marina Benjamin in Granta, about her stint as a card-counting pro-gambler and the way in which we think of luck and loss, and how sometimes the losing is the point. There’s a very specific oddity to those who gamble very seriously (whether as professionals or as people with a very expensive hobby) which this piece captures perfectly – I remember being on a train back from Oxford one weekend and spending the entire journey transfixed by the conversation of the table full of professional contract bridge players in the same carriage as me, who, despite looking like a bunch of minor, unsympathetic characters in the novels of Jane Austen, were describing lives full of bacchanal and sauce, and whilst this doesn’t quite touch on any of that stuff it does manage to communicate that slightly…other-ish sense you tend to get from these types of people.

The Teacher Crush: This is very good indeed – Jessica L Pavia remembers her schoolgirl crush on a teacher, a crush that went unrequited and unacted upon but which even in its chaste recollection opens questions of volition and complicity…I really enjoyed this, partly because the prose is great but also because it didn’t quite go in the directions I expected of it.

Tiddler: A very short story by Charlie Gilmour, about childhood and sibling-ness, which is practically-perfectly-formed.

I Should Have Left Him Then: The final longread of the week is this not-particularly-long piece of short nonfiction by Hayli Cox, about the realisation that you should leave someone and that in fact you should have done it a long time ago. There’s a formal ‘thing’ that this does which I very much enjoyed, moreso than I expected, and which I felt made the whole thing feel personal to the reader in a way that it wouldn’t otherwise – see what you think.