Webcurios 13/01/23

Reading Time: 34 minutes

NEW YEAR NEW YOU! You look great and I love what you’ve done with your hair/wardrobe/septum piercing/new gym regimen!

I, though, remain sadly unaltered, despite the benefit of a month’s absence and a whole three weeks spent not really looking at the internet AT ALL (what did I learn? That without the internet I spend more time than is healthy looking inwards and that that is not a good idea, frankly). BUT NOW I AM BACK AND SO IS WEB CURIOS!

I hope that you all had wonderful festive periods, that you managed to rest and relax, and that you are approaching 2023 with vim and vigour and no little spunk, with a spring in your step and a twinkle in your eye, and that the glimmering in the distance is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel rather than an oncoming train hurtling towards you at weighty speed.

2022 managed to squeeze in one final death for me, sadly, with our cat passing away at the end of the year, so this first edition of Curios of the year is dedicated to Lebowski, who was excellent and will be missed.

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and I hope at least one of you has made it a new year’s resolution to ‘click all the links in 2023’.

This was Lebowski, RIP

WE KICK OFF 2023’S SELECTION OF MIXES WITH THIS STAGGERING COLLECTION OF OLD AUTECHRE RARITIES THAT THEY APPARENTLY FOUND DOWN THE BACK OF THE SOFA THE OTHER WEEK!

THE SECTION WHICH HOPES THAT THE REST OF THE YEAR CONTAINS SIGNIFICANTLY LESS CHAT ABOUT THE ROYAL FAMILY THAN THE FIRST COUPLE OF WEEKS HAVE, PT.1:  

  • The Jammy Machine: Another little AI music composition tool here, this one letting you create (or, more accurately, prod the machine so that it creates) a four-track melody based on different elements (piano, drums, etc), which then get turned into a single melody – you probably won’t want to listen to anything this produces more than once, fine, but it’s notable that the one time you do listen to it it probably won’t make your ears wither and fall off and die. I mean, it’s not…good or anything, but it’s not awful either, and it’s almost certainly good enough to soundtrack your agency’s new 2023 showreel (and means you won’t have to spend a soul-crushing hour listening to largely-indistinguishable stock music tracks with names like ‘Fire and Ice (II)’ or ‘Business Casual’.
  • Awesome ChatGPT Prompts: These are useful, and you should bookmark this – a whole host of prompts you can feed ChatGPT to make it embody a bunch of different personae, which is helpful for a host of reasons (some, but not all, of which are related to running complicated email-based confidence scams which oh me oh my are going to get VERY sophisticated over the coming year) and which you can also have a bit of fun with if you’re bored and wish it was still the holidays and that real life hadn’t intruded yet. It feels…wrong saying this, like I’m very much cutting my own throat here, but if you haven’t tried feeding ChatGPT a bunch of bulletpoints and telling it to ‘turn these into an essay in the style of X’ then you really are missing out, it’s magic – and you can use this sort of technique to get it to spit out job ads and mediocre blogposts with whatever information you require, to specified length…There will literally be NO POINT to me in approximately 36 months time, so if anyone fancies adopting me between now and then please do let me know.
  • There’s An AI For That: Another directory of AI tools, this one seemingly HUGE and comprehensive and searchable by service type and use case; bookmark it, it is FULL of useful stuff which with a bit of work you can probably use to automate approximately 40% of your job.
  • SketchAI: Ooh, this is FUN – SketchAI is an (iOS) app which basically works in the same way as the EARLY versions of Dall-E did (Christ, that feels like a long time ago) – you basically do simple sketches and tell the app what the various bits are meant to be, and it will turn your cack-handed doodlings into AMAZING (if still obviously machine-generated) ARTWORKS! This is in part just a great little toy to play with on a tedious commute (is there any other sort? I’ve taken the vaporetto in Venice at 7am, and buses in Rome at similar times, and I think that wherever you are in the world and however gorgeous the architectural wonders on display through the window of the bus/boat/tram, you cannot see them because your vision is obscured by the very specific rage of being ripped from your bed too soon and for no good reason) (can you tell this is the first early start I have had in a month?), but also a useful tool for doing some light art direction on the go. Mainly, though, this is just FUN.
  • AI Spirit Animals: I am genuinely miserable that they didn’t see fit to call this ‘TamAIgotchi’ (but, er, copyright lawyers can probably explain to me in simple words and with crayon drawings why that probably wasn’t a viable name), but aside from that this feels like an interesting idea waiting to happen. AI Spirit Animals (I mean, really, SUCH A BAD NAME) is basically a little GPT-powered CG animal moppet that lives on your desktop and you can interact with – although all these do is offer summaries of webpages you’re on, it seems. There’s also a TERRIBLE-sounding feature whereby if your friends have also seen fit to adopt an AI Spirit Animal (honestly, even typing it makes my teeth itch) you can…see the summaries produced by their pets, meaning you can effectively spy on your friends’ browsing habits? No, please, do not reveal to me the things that my loved ones choose to peruse when they think noone is watching. Anyway, this is basically a really good idea – desktop pets with defined ‘personalities’ that can have decent natural language conversations and which can ‘develop’ over time sounds like fun, no? Until you start to think about all the ways in which they would be mistreated, obvs – hiding inside a terrible execution, but I would be amazed if there wasn’t someone somewhere working on a halfway-decent version of this as I type.
  • AI Game Assets: Still in early access, this, so more of a ‘watch this space’ than anything else – still, this site (Leonardo, in case you care) purports to offer developers the opportunity to quickly and easily spin up game assets using AI, which is obviously pretty terrible work for graphic artists and designers but which is GREAT news for people looking to make games on the (very, very) cheap. It’s not entirely clear how this will work, but I imagine there are lawyers looking at the whole ‘give us some artworks and we will train an AI to generate graphics in exactly that style!’ functionality with greedy eyes.
  • AI Playlists:  Another ‘type in some stylistic prompts and we will attempt to create a suitable playlist for you from Spotify’ tool, but this has some interesting additional features including the ability to read copy from images – meaning that this year’s spate of ‘generate a festival poster based on your most-listened-to Spotify artists’ toys will, if you use this app, generate a bespoke playlist for said imaginary festival as a result. Which is quite cool really.
  • GPTZero: This went ‘viral’ over the festive period (it feels…oddly retro to use the term ‘viral’ in 2023 – do we need another term? If feels like we do. Answers on a postcard, please) – a tool designed to help educators and others ascertain how likely it is that a given piece of copy was produced by an LLM. Which is all well and good, until you see stuff like this about how if you tell ChatGPT to write copy that is harder to tell is written by a machine, it manages to somehow make itself less detectable. HOW ARE THE MACHINES ALREADY WINNING THIS GAME FFS?! Still, if you’re an educator or the sort of hawk-eyed parent who asks to see their kids’ homework before they hand it in, you may find this helpful. Also, per my point above about how good ChatGPT is at turning a few prompts into prose, if this stuff isn’t already being used to pen covering letters for jobs based on a list of tickbox skills from the jobspec I will be AMAZED – maybe this is useful for recruiters too, come to think of it.  Or, maybe, we should just let ourselves slide into the machine-written future and not worry about it too much.
  • The US Army Corps of Engineers Cat Calendar 2023: It’s early enough in the year that you may not yet have settled on a calendar for the new year – may I humbly suggest you consider this jazzy little number, produced by the US ARmy Engineering Corps and featuring a selection of cats which have been photoshopped to vast size and are seen each month proudly stalking across various building and construction sites. You may not think you want this, but I promise you that once you’ve seen October’s image your heart will melt and you will desire nothing more than to track the passing of the months with a selection of massive kitties. Free to download, and the colour printing will give you an excuse to bother going into the office, so everyone’s a winner really.
  • Find That Meme: It does feel rather incredible that there hasn’t (to my knowledge) been a proper meme search engine til now (‘Know Your Meme’ is a different beast, before you complain) – BUT HERE ONE FINALLY IS! You can search by text, or by reverse-searching with an image, which is a nice touch, and basically if you want to have a neverending, infinite repository of memes at your fingertips (without having to absolutely ruin your phone’s storage, and also possibly your posthumous reputation should you die unexpectedly and anyone have to go through your phone – do YOU want to be remembered as ‘that person who inexplicably had 400 spongebob memes on their camera roll’?) and therefore WIN any groupchat or messaging interaction you are having for the rest of eternity, then bookmark this now.
  • Joytopia: It’s nice to see that, despite the fact that we are in a new calendar year and have turned over NEW LEAVES, 2023 will at least in part continue to be characterised by appalling, soulless, pointless digital activations bought by someone who still thinks that the word ‘metaverse’ has meaning. Congratulations to BMW, proud winners of the Web Curios ‘first genuinely awful brand thing I have seen in 2023’ award! Welcome to Joytopia, a 3d environment in which users can meet and interact with Dee, who is…no, hang on, you deserve to enjoy this in full: “The BMW i Vision Dee – or just Dee – is a beautiful, soulful representation of the bond between vehicle and driver, created with a lot of personality and emotion. A fully immersive and uniquely intimate experience of this bond is “Joytopia”. A Las Vegas-inspired virtual world, giving users a chance to explore Dee and experience first-hand her impact on the future of digital mobility. Whilst enjoying the company of special guest Arnold Schwarzenegger, users see themselves immersed in an epic journey through a reimagined and interactive world. Join your ultimate companion Dee for an adventure at Joytopia now.” Honestly, if you think that that’s bad, click on this link and read the copy – the voice that they have created for what I suppose is intended to be a ‘youth-oriented brand avatar’ is one of the most astonishing ‘how do you do, fellow kids?’ things I have seen in YEARS. The ‘Joytopia’ experience is obviously about as joyful as one might expect (to whit: not, at all), but the real kudos here goes to whoever the copywriter was who managed to phone in lines like “let me tell you a bit about what you will find here – i promise to wow you ;)…make sure to check out the cool videos as well. i’m kind of the star in those, even if i also brought a couple of friends. i can’t be at the center of attention all the time… or can i? ;)” and still presumably get paid.
  • Playlist In A Bottle: This is a cute idea by Spotify (with BUILT-IN RE-ENGAGEMENT, too, clever them) – plug in your Spotify account and select 3 (or more) songs based on a few simple questions; your playlist will then get locked away for a year and re-presented to you in January 2024 so you can find out whether or not you did hear that one specific song live in 2023, and whether you did kiss THAT person to THAT song, and whether or not your musical tastes have moved on or whether you’ve reached that point of ossification that happens to almost everyone’s musical taste and you have to just admit that you stopped really liking anything new when you were about 29. Aside from anything else, the ‘time capsule’ mechanic feels both sticky and eminently ripoffable, so, er, go! Rip it off!

By Tommi Parrish

NEXT UP, ENJOY THIS LOVELY UPTEMPO MIX OF UNRELEASED NUKG AND TWOSTEP BY XANDER!

THE SECTION WHICH HOPES THAT THE REST OF THE YEAR CONTAINS SIGNIFICANTLY LESS CHAT ABOUT THE ROYAL FAMILY THAN THE FIRST COUPLE OF WEEKS HAVE, PT.2:  

  • Colours of Africa: This comes via Anjali Ramachandran’s newsletter and is a gorgeous bit of work by Google’s Arts and Culture team. 60 different artists from across the continent share their work on this site, which you can browse using a lovely colour-based kaleidoscope-style interface which lets you select works by country or colour or artist, and which presents a gorgeous means of exploring varied works in a way that’s significantly more playful and interesting than a standard list of names or works. There’s something rather lovely about the way in which the interface affects the browsing experience, should you care about these little UX flourishes; if you don’t, though, it’s still fascinating to browse through the works and to see the diversity of style and medium on display – a salutary reminder that ‘Africa’ is a VERY BIG continent which contains a LOT of different people and cultures and referring to it monolithically isn’t always hugely helpful or sensible.
  • ESPN’s Year in Review: Would YOU like to look back at the past 12 months of SPORTS (as seen from the point of view of North America, which therefore means ‘baseball, basketball, hockey and American football (and some athletics, and maybe a couple of other things, and, if we remember that we have a sizeable hispanic population that quite likes it, maybe some ‘soccer’) via the medium of a lovely scrolly audiovisual smorgasbord of photos and video and writings? OF COURSE YOU WOULD! Even given that I am not a particularly enthusiastic consumer of SPORTING MOMENTS – let alone the SPORTING MOMENTS featuring the sort of pituitary meatheads so beloved of the American armchair fan – this is a really impressive piece of archival webwork, pulling together SO MUCH STUFF in one place that it’s rather dizzying. If you have any interest in whether the Bills managed to pull of a third quarter reverse on the Cardinals at the bottom of the seventh down (I am exaggerating my lack of knowledge here, but only very slightly) then you will ADORE this, but even if you’re just a casual sports fan you’ll find loads of great material in here (but probably nothing to convince you that baseball is a proper sport that’s worth watching) (and before you anglos get smug, I would say the same about cricket).
  • Close-Up Photographer of the Year: Astonishingly it would seem that this is a photo competition I have NEVER featured in here before – I feel like I have failed in some way. Still, it’s a particularly good one, and the winners here collected of this fourth edition of the contest are pretty spectacular – my personal favourite here is the ‘Gordian Worm Knot’, but, as ever, I invite you to pick your own favourites.
  • What Is Missing?: “We are witnessing the 6th mass extinctionin the history of the planet.By 2100 50% of all species may face extinction.” So begins the admittedly not very cheery intro to this website, which invites visitors to share memories of the nature they grew up with in order to highlight all that we are losing as we capitalism ourselves into a species-wide early grave. “What Is Missing? is a multi-sited memorial created by Maya Lin to raise awareness through science-based artworks about the present sixth mass extinction of species, connect this loss of species to habitat degradation and loss, and emphasize that by protecting and restoring habitat, we can both reduce carbon emissions and protect species.“ This project has been ongoing for nearly 15 years, but this website is new(ish) and is…well, it’s incredibly fcuking sad if I’m honest, but also rather beautiful.
  • The Westminster Accounts: A very UK-centric link, this one, but for all those of you currently freezing your fingers off (WHY IS IT SO COLD AND HOW DID I FORGET SO QUICKLY WHAT WINTERS ARE LIKE IN THIS FCUKING COUNTRY?) in lovely second world England (or Scotland, or Wales), here’s a nice piece of investigative work by media outlet Tortoise (and, fine, Sky News too)  which has gone through all the records of payments received by MPs to create this searchable record of how much cash they have each trousered over the past year. Some of the numbers are astonishing – although my own personal favourite unpopular opinion is that you would see a lot less of this sort of thing if you simply paid politicians more. Look, I know that they already earn a relatively high salary – but, equally, would YOU take a job which paid you 85k a year but which also required you to work approximately 100h weeks, which was basically ALL meetings, where you were literally responsible for the lives and wellbeing of tens of thousands (at least) of people, where you were subjected to intense scrutiny at all times, where you had relatively limited agency and freedom to act as you consider best, and where (and this is the crucial bit, I think) literally EVERYONE (or as close as makes not difference) thinks you’re a cnut and wishes you specific and probably quite physical harm? I posit that you would NOT – unless you were some sort of sociopath, which one might argue is why we’re in this mess. Anyway, if you happen to have a Tory for a local MP and want to put an exact figure on how much you hate them and want them to lose their seat, you will enjoy this.
  • URL Animations: I think it’s fair to say that 2023 doesn’t look like it’s going to be a year full of lols, or at least not for those of us who still have to do things like ‘eat’ or ‘pay for a roof over our heads’, so I think it behooves us all to introduce small notes of levity and gaiety wherever we can. It’s in this spirit that I present this link, which offers you a bunch of code which can give you URLs that ANIMATE! Yes, fine, I appreciate that a web address which looks like a shark’s fin swimming up and down your address bar isn’t likely to raise much of a smile when you’re into your fifth month of applying for the final jobs left on the content farm, but, well, it’s all I’ve got right now.
  • Leaving: A website that exists solely to tell you how many people are on it at any given moment, and when said people leave again. Which is obviously largely pointless, but equally feels like the sort of thing (and I know I have said this before, which means that either noone reads this stuff or alternatively that noone listens to my BRILLIANT SUGGESTIONS – both are equally likely, tbh) that you could have a bit of fun with on a brand site, with special content that only unlocks when a specific number of people are on a specific page at one time, etc etc. If 420 people are on the Rizla website at 1620 in the afternoon then they all win a free pack of skins, that sort of thing (but, er, less sh1t, obvs).
  • Atlas of Blobs: Well this is LOVELY – thankyou to Max Lieberman (and others) who have pulled it together – the website presents a collection of blob-like animations, which have been given names and personalities and descriptions, and it’s honestly quite beautiful just to scroll through and see the works and the prose that the visuals have inspired, and the extent to which movement and form can afford personality to even the least anthropomorphisable of objects. “For this project, Atlas of Blobs, I asked ten artists, designers, researchers, and visual thinkers to pick one of the blob forms I’ve made and write a text to name and describe it. I should say from the start that I have a sort of blob obsession. It’s one of my favourite forms and one I keep coming back to in my daily sketches, over and over again. Blobs are living, organic, and slightly absurd forms modelled on nature. They are always moving—responding, getting larger or smaller, adapting, swimming—and it’s this constant adjusting and redefining of space that gives them their lifelike quality.” I like to think that this is the sort of thing that AI is a long way from producing, but then the more I think about it the more I start to think that actually that’s really not true at all.
  • The Dog API: Do YOU want to integrate more canine-related facts into your website or digital project? OH GOOD! “The Dog API provides information on over 340 dog breeds, 20 breed groups, and fun facts. Our data is accurate and constantly updated. Easily integrate this information into your own website or application with our user-friendly API.” If you are going to be involved in building any sort of website this year, regardless of what it’s ostensibly about, you owe it to yourselves (and the rest of the world, and, frankly ME) to include some sort of hidden Dog Facts lookup service as an Easter egg (please someone, do this – in fact, can we make ‘totally unrelated and slightly-whimsical Easter Eggs in otherwise incredibly fcuking dull corporate websites’ a thing in 2023, please? Can we? Can we?).
  • Everyday Photo: A bit of a happy/sad project, this one – you may recall Noah Kalina from The Olden Days of the web; he was one of the first people (the first?) to popularise the whole ‘take a photo of yourself each day and make a timelapse video over a year’ thing, and he’s created this website to store each and every photo he’s taken over the course of this now two-decade-plus-long project. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Noah would also like to make some cash out of the past 23 years worth of artmaking, and as such he’s also selling the images of his own face as NFTs, just like it was 2021 all over again! I have no idea what the market is for a series of datestamped pictures of one man’s fairly-expressionless face, but if you have a particularly special day from the past 23 years that you think would be best commemorated by an NFT of a photograph of an unsmiling, moderately-internet-famous stranger, then this will be the best thing you see all day.
  • Mutalk: I have a fairly strong suspicion that this isn’t in fact real and is some sort of elaborate troll – except I think it’s been featured at CES, which would suggest that someone somewhere thinks that this is a thing that real people will actually one day want to buy. I’m going to say that that is…never going to happen, but why don’t you click the link and see what YOU think? Would you want to buy something which I can only describe as a muzzle, to mask your shouted expletives as you, I don’t know, play Fortnite on one of those 5g enabled stretches of the tube? Are you so worried about people overhearing your SUPER-CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS CHAT that you would be willing to wear something that looks, in all honesty, like a piece of fetishwear in order to keep your conversations secret? In which case you probably want to sign up to the waitlist for this pronto (you absolute weirdo).
  • Adopt A Drain: This is sort-of brilliant, but also, on some level, something of an indictment of Californian public services. Would you like to ADOPT A DRAIN in San Francisco? Would you like to become responsible for its maintenance and ensuring it’s not blocked by leaves, mud, or the corpses of San Francisco’s homeless population? Whilst this may sound like an onerous and thankless task, know that by adopting you get to NAME THE DRAIN, which is why there is currently one named ‘Willows Dirty Furby Hole’ and another called ‘Heklina’s Spit Roasting Room’ (I haven’t had time to check, but I would be astonished if there wasn’t one simply called ‘Drussy’). Over 6,000 city residents have apparently signed up to this programme so far, which is LOADS; can we do this in London, please? The names alone would make it worthwhile.
  • BirdBuddy: I appreciate that the variety of birds one sees in UK cities isn’t necessarily vast, but if you happen to live somewhere more ornithologically-diverse then you might be interested in this snazzy birdfeeder which features sensors and a camera and some light IoT integration which means it can take pictures of each avian visitor and send it to your phone, telling you what sort of bird it (thinks it) is – which, honestly, is GREAT! If you look at the website you can get a feel for the sort of slightly-confused bird selfies you’ll get sent, and there’s a pleasing feature whereby you can add a bunch of different people to the alerts so that the whole family or household can enjoy the day-to-day comings and goings of whatever feathered friends (or, if we’re honest, thieving squirrels) you happen to have attracted.
  • Shift Happens: This is a website built to promote a forthcoming book all about computer keyboards, which if we’re honest is a…pretty niche concern, but which is enlivened by the fact that the website is all EXCITING and INTERACTIVE and generally COOL. You can see a 3d model of the book that takes you inside it and shows you the wonderful production values! You can play a small game where you attempt to remember where all the keys on a keyboard sit! You can try typing with different types and configurations of keyboards! Look, fine, this may not sound like the most groundbreaking or revolutionary interactive functionality, but if you consider that this is – to reiterate – a VERY NICHE book about a VERY NICHE topic, all this interactive gubbins helps make it visible and interesting to a whole new set of audiences (to whit, people who like webspaff), and it feels like a nice little case study about the return of the playful web (if you’re the sort of poor s0d who has to think about things like that for a living).
  • The Dunmow Flitch Trials: I’m slightly astonished that I have been alive 43 years and had, until now, failed to learn about the Dunmow Flitch trials – an ancient custom which takes place each year since the early-12th Century and which works as follows: “The Dunmow Flitch Trials exist to award a flitch of bacon to married couples from anywhere in the world, if they can satisfy the Judge and Jury of 6 maidens and 6 bachelors that in ‘twelvemonth and a day’, they have ‘not wisht themselves unmarried again’. A reference to The Dunmow Flitch can even be found in The Wife of Bath’s Tale within Chaucer’s 14th century Canterbury Tales.” A flitch, by the way, is an Olde Worlde term for a ‘side’ of bacon – so effectively you can win a lot of meat for being happily married, which sounds like a great deal and something to aspire to. The next Trials take place next year, but that just means you have a lot of time to make sure your marriage is in cracking shape so that you and your spouse can quite literally BRING HOME THE BACON. Honestly, please can one of you compete in this next year, it sounds GREAT.
  • Genuary: “GENUARY is an artificially generated month of time where we build code that makes beautiful things…Over the 744 hours of January, for every 24 hours there will be one prompt for your code art. You don’t have to follow the prompt exactly. Or even at all. But, y’know, we put effort into this. You can use any language, framework or medium, on any planet.” So there – this is obviously already halfway done, but if you’re a generative artist it might still be fun to participate, and if you’re interested you can see galleries of each day’s works collected here. Fwiw there is some really beautiful stuff buried in here should you have a spare 10 mins to go spelunking around.
  • Sleepagotchi: Do you have trouble sleeping? Do you think that the best and most obvious solution to said trouble is to attempt to gamify your sleep and earn virtual rewards for going to bed on time? ARE YOU SEVEN?!?!?! Ahem. Sleepagotchi is currently in beta and there is a waiting list, suggesting my skepticism as to its efficacy isn’t universal – look, I appreciate that a large part of accepted wisdom around sleeping well is about routines and ‘good patterns’, and if it takes a CG dinosaur offering you small CG badges to help you make those routines stick then, honestly, who am I to judge? It’s interesting to see this second wave of gamification mechanics start to take off, though – this feels very much like the sort of thing that might have been pitched circa 2009, when the first wave of Jane Mcgonigal hype was very much in the ascendancy and we were all a little less cynical about how game mechanics and dark patterns and rewards could be used to manipulate us.
  • Literary Britain: A personal project by…someone, who has quite reasonably chosen not to make their name public but who is undertaking an EXCELLENT labour of love by mapping literary references and people and works across the UK; so you can navigate around the map and learn about what particular literary works are from which places, and, honestly, if you’ve any interest in English literary history then you will really like this a lot. I just happened to click on the only entry for Swindon, where I grew up, and it gave me The Thistle Hotel, which, and I quote, “As the ‘Wiltshire Hotel’, was the place where Stephen Fry was arrested for credit card fraud at the age of eighteen.” WHAT A PLACE! WHAT HERITAGE!
  • Diffudle: I know I said last year that we would have NO MORE WORDLE CLONES in Curios – but, well, this isn’t really a Wordle clone so I think it’s ok. Diffudle asks you one simple question – what prompt generated the day’s AI-generated image, and it’s surprisingly fun. Basically builds on Damjanski’s ‘Win the NFT by guessing the prompt used to create it’ game from last year, which you all OBVIOUSLY remember.
  • That Lonesome Valley: I didn’t honestly think that the first videogame I would play this year would be one liberally inspired by Brokeback Mountain and which involves you playing a city kid whose helping out on a ranch and who may or may not be able to inveigle your way into the handsome local’s dungarees by the end of your stay, nor indeed that I would play said game all the way through to the end, but, well, here we are. This is by ‘veteran’ explorer of gay life through games Robert Yang, and it’s surprisingly fun (even for someone whose tediously straight nature means he’s not hugely motivated by the prospect of seeing pixellated cowboy junk).
  • Joe Danger: This week’s last general purpose link is a corker – not one but TWO old-school mobile games, themed around Joe Danger (which means NOTHING to me, but may be something that resonates with those of you less methuselan than I) and which are now playable either in-browser or on your phone and, honestly, just smoothbrain your way through the rest of the day with the clicking and the jumping and the zooming and the lantern-jawed stunting, go on.

By Maxime Ballesteros

LAST UP IN THE MIXES THIS WEEK, HERE’S A BEAUTIFUL SELECTION OF ICILY-SMOOTH LOUNGE-ISH NUMBER SELECTED BY MOJO AND WHICH IS PERFECT FOR A COLD WINTER’S DAY IMHO!

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

  • Genders WTF: A website collecting some examples of how the current open questions about How Gender Works and how people identify themselves is leading to some slightly-odd UX – some of the drop-down and radio menus here are just WONDERFUL. Do you identify as ‘male’, ‘female’ or ‘I have no plans to purchase a new vehicle’? This is GREAT, and very funny (and, to be clear, as far as I can tell this is ‘very funny’ in a victimless and entirely-non-confrontational way).
  • Brr: NOT A TUMBLR! Instead this is an old-school blog whose author is currently working in IT in Antarctica and who is writing an occasional diary about what it’s like living in one of the most hostile and remote places on the planet. So so so interesting, I promise, and only live for another month or so before the author returns to civilisation again in February.

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • Beesip: All of the bee-related imagery you could possibly wish for!  God they’re sexy little fcukers, aren’t they?
  • Bernie Kaminski: Bernie Kaminski makes papier mache objects (but, like, really GOOD ones), and if you’re anything like me you will feel a small, covetous stab at his paper-and-paste Le Creuset.
  • NYC Slice: I have to say that I have never understood the particular appeal of New York’s pizza slice joints – oily cardboard with terrible plastic non-mozzarella is my PIPING HOT TAKE – but I am willing to appreciate that others hold the NYC Slice in high reverence (they are wrong, but wevs). This Insta account documents NYC’s pie shops one slice at a time – this may well make you hungry, fine, but it will also make you appreciate pizza that doesn’t look like a fatberg in waiting.

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

  • The Third Magic:  This is a fascinating essay about the extent to which the coming era of AI, particularly as applied to text, could be said to be ushering in a third ‘magic power’ of humanity. The first, as argued by Noah Smith, is history (or the ability to record and encode knowledge in language); the second is science (figuring out principles as to how the world works and being able to test and apply them); the third, he posits, will be the ability to interpret massively complex and interconnected events and datasets, and to extrapolate from them with a degree of accuracy, without really understanding what we are looking at or why the predictions are right. Which feels simultaneously amazing to conceive of and deeply troubling at the same time, if I’m honest – but the essay overall is a hopeful one, and I found it a helpful way of characterising where the current wave of AI feels like it ‘sits’ in the pantheon of ‘how we think and how we might in the future go about thinking’.
  • The Great Logging Off: Or, “What happens when most of the content online is written by machines?” The author argues that we’re going to see a lot of people – particularly at the ‘top’ end of society, those who can afford to do so – moving away from the mass web (and we’re already seeing that to a large extent tbh) as a result of…well, of stuff like this (I am quoting this at length here because I think it’s helpful to frame this stuff even for people who can’t be bothered to click the link and read the whole piece): “What happens when anyone can spin up a thousand social media accounts at the click of a button, where each account picks a consistent persona and sticks to it – happily posting away about one of their hobbies like knitting or trout fishing or whatever, while simultaneously building up a credible and inobtrusive post history in another plausible side hobby that all these accounts happen to share – geopolitics, let’s say – all until it’s time for the sock puppet master to light the bat signal and manufacture some consensus? What happens when every online open lobby multiplayer game is choked with cheaters who all play at superhuman levels in increasingly undetectable ways? What happens when, from the perspective of the average guy, “every girl” on every dating app is a fiction driven by an AI who strings him along (including sending original and persona-consistent pictures) until it’s time to scam money out of him? What happens when, from the perspective of the average girl, “every guy” on the internet has become weirdly dismissive and hostile, because he’s been conditioned to think that any girl that seems interested in him must be fake and trying to scam money out of him? What happens when comments sections on every forum gets filled with implausibly large consensus-building hordes who are able to adapt in real time and carefully slip their brigading just below the moderator’s rules?” Well, quite. On a similar note, this is an excellent piece of writing by Maggie Appleton about some of the things we can do to help distinguish the ‘authentically human’ from the machinespun dreck – Appleton suggests STYLISTIC QUIRKS and BEING SOPHISTICATED, so I think we can all agree Curios is OBVIOUSLY a work of incontrovertible human genius, right?
  • Using ChatGPT To Improve Prose: Look, I am aware that I am not a great writer – I am not even, by many popular metrics, even a particular good writer. I am, however, fast and broadly-accurate, and I find it easy, which is why sharing articles like this one feels very much like I am slitting my own throat (with a paperknife, obvs) by showing you how to create ‘just about good enough’ prose even faster than I can with the help of the infernal machines. This is a post by Ethan Mollick which takes you through a number of different techniques to use ChatGPT to juice your prose a bit – honestly, these are all good tips and worth sharing with people you know who struggle with basic grammar and sentence construction or who just take fcuking ages to write things like ‘a 50 word bio of yourself’.
  • The End of Programming: Or ‘why learning to code probably isn’t going to be the ticket towards long-term employability that you were told it was going to be a decade or so ago’. “Programming will be obsolete. I believe the conventional idea of “writing a program” is headed for extinction, and indeed, for all but very specialized applications, most software, as we know it, will be replaced by AI systems that are trained rather than programmed. In situations where one needs a “simple” program (after all, not everything should require a model of hundreds of billions of parameters running on a cluster of GPUs), those programs will, themselves, be generated by an AI rather than coded by hand.” Just in case those of you with qualifications in Python were feeling superior.
  • Wolfram x ChatGPT: I’ve featured posts by Stephen Wolfram on here a few times over the years, and each time I think I’ve had to append a hefty caveat that basically says “I am only approximately 10% as smart as I need to be to fully understand this, but it SOUNDS like something that I ought to be interested in and so I will try and keep up with the thinking”, and, basically, we’re there again. This is a really, really interesting article about hooking together ChatGPT and the Wolfram Alpha to help make ChatGPT better at ‘reasoning’ (specifially maths problems), and what it is about ChatGPT and LLMs in general that means that they are not really equipped to ever be able to calculate accurately, and how a potential future that builds together all sorts of these natural language-led tools might look, and, honestly, this is fascinating and offered me the first vaguely-hopeful feeling of 2023 in terms of me not being rendered entirely ubiquitous by silicon in the next 24 months or so.
  • The Creator Economy Retrenches: This is a bit business-y, fine, but it’s a decent overview of where the major platforms are at with their Creator Fund stuff, and affords me a rare opportunity to point back to all the times over the past year or so when I have said that the ‘creator economy’ is a bunkum concept that doesn’t in any way work as an, er, ‘economy’ and say “I WAS RIGHT”, something that has literally happened, er, twice(?) in the decade-plus I have been writing this bloody thing.
  • The Reels Goldrush: Except, of course, for the handful of people who got in on the Insta Reels ‘pay to create’ goldrush, who found themselves, per this piece in the New Yorker, cranking out shovelware content but unable to stop because it was so damn lucrative. The interesting part about this is less ‘look at all these people who made bank out of shortform video!’ and more ‘look at the weird hoops that people end up having to jump through because an algorithm they don’t and can’t understand has decided that that is what is required, regardless of what actual human beings seem to want’. I guarantee you – the next few years is going to be a GOLDMINE for AI-led ‘tail wags dog’ stories about all the ways in which our lives and behaviours are unwittingly being warped by machines.
  • Exit: Hari Kunzru writes for Harper’s about his experiences writing for WIRED in the 90s, and his experiences of Peter Thiel, and not only is this a lovely piece of prose, but it’s also a surprisingly on-the-nose account of the wider ambitions of Thiel and his coterie – it’s honestly rare to see stuff like this written out so explicitly: “If freedom is to be found through an exit from politics, then it follows that the degradation of the political process in all its forms—the integrity of the voting system, standards in public life, trust in institutions, the peaceful transfer of power—is a worthy project. If Thiel, the elite Stanford technocrat, is funding disruptive populists in American elections, it’s not necessarily because he believes in the wisdom of their policy prescriptions. They are the tribunes of the “unthinking demos.” If the masses want their Jesus and a few intellectuals to string up, it’s no skin off Charles Koch’s nose. Populism is useful to elite libertarians because applying centrifugal force to the political system creates exit opportunities. But for whom?”
  • The AI Streamer: Perhaps inevitably, we now have our first ‘all AI’ VTuber – hacked together from off-the-shelf avatar software and GPT-whatever and currently banned from Twitch because, I think, it mentioned the Holocaust. This is more factual reportage than killer prose, but it’s a fascinating glimpse into what will soon be the very real world of entirely-machine-generated entertainments.
  • E-Girl Army Influencers: Well this is the first ‘fcuk me, weird future’ longread of the year – all about how there’s a whole subset of egirls whose ‘thing’ is ‘military cute’ and who may, or may not (the article is a fun read, but it’s journalistically…imperfect), be shilling for the military; whether or not they currently are, it’s odds-on that they soon will be, and, as the article points out, this is so terrifyingly, dystopian-ly Starship Troopers-esque that it feels entirely post-ironic. The Army driving recruits through pretty young things with snub noses and freckles talking about how how a military man is and how they long for a tradwife lifestyle? I mean, it’s terrifyingly plausible, no?
  • YouTube Vigilantes vs Scammers: Or, “What happens if 419Eater but also Jake Paul?” – this piece in Rest Of World looks at the YouTube channels doing big numbers by confronting or exposing phone scammers working out of call centres in the developing world, and who create content which centres their real-life interactions with call centre staff; many of whom, the piece suggests, perhaps don’t quite deserve the life impact of a viral YouTube video accusing them of being ‘scammers’ to an audience of millions. File under ‘interesting new ways in which Western exploitation of the developing world is modernising and adapting’!
  • Ticketmaster vs Pearl Jam: This is VERY LONG, and it will probably mean slightly more to you if you’re interested in or linked to the music industry in some way, but, regardless, it’s a frankly insane story about how TicketMaster basically declared war on Pearl Jam for a decade or so as a result of the band having the temerity to suggest that perhaps the company wasn’t good for either fans or the industry. This is a properly mad story, the sort of corporate hitjob/espionage stuff that I tend to think don’t actually happen in real life but which even a cursory exposure to North American capitalism will remind you happens all the fcuking time.
  • 2022 In Weird and Stupid Futures: Max Read has for the past few years been compiling the headlines which tell the story of the weird future stupidity of the year just gone – here’s the selection for 2022, which just goes to show that truth really is stranger than fiction could ever hope to be. Look at these three – plucked at random from the kilometric selection – for an idea of the sort of vibe this embodies: “In September, tens of thousands of people waited in line at the American Dream Mall for the opening of a new hamburger restaurant owned by the YouTuber Mr. Beast. Colorado utility Xcel locked tens of thousands of people out of their smart thermostats for 24 hours during an “energy emergency.”  An Amazon driver was fired after posting a photo of a customer’s dildo to Reddit.” I mean, you really couldn’t make this stuff up.
  • Things In The Bum, 2022: Another annual favourite of mine is Defector’s yearly list of ‘things people got stuck in themselves in the year just gone’, and 2022 was another stellar twelve months in the annals (NO!) of rectal removal. This also features things that had to be removed from noses (“cheese”), ears (“lighter fluid”) and vaginas (“two pencil sharpeners”), but the real star here are the things in bums. Am I the only person who would pay actual, real-life cashmoney to see footage of people attempting to deliver explanations like this with a straight face? I refuse to believe it ““PATIENT SAYS HE WAS PLAYING WITH A CONTAINER OF ATHLETE’S FOOT SPRAY AND ACCIDENTALLY IT ENDED UP IN HIS RECTUM”” – YES MATE WE BELIEVE YOU THOUSANDS WOULDN’T.
  • Things In The Penis 2022: A separate list, celebrating all the things that people managed to get inside their penises in 2022. If you possess a penis, know that this list will make you cross your legs in great discomfort throughout – I mean, if you can read this without wincing then you’re made of sterner stuff than me, for example: “TOOK SOME MALE ENHANCEMENT PILL & USED A PENIS PUMP, HEARD A ‘POP FROM A VEIN IN HIS GROIN AREA’”
  • The End of Minecraft: This is VERY LONG, and whilst I found it interesting throughout I have also seen it described elsewhere as ‘astonishingly boring and self-absorbed’ (and to think people say the same about Curios! The CNUTS!) so your mileage may vary. This is the story of the ending of Minecraft, and the man who wrote it, and copyright law and large corporations and art and making stuff and ‘ownership’ and the weird feeling of having made something that resonates with far more people in a far deeper way than you might have expected, and, generally, if you’re someone who makes things for audiences large or small I think you might find rather a lot to love in this essay (but if you find it ‘astonishly boring and self-absorbed’ then that’s fine too).
  • The Strangely Beautiful World of Google Reviews: My girlfriend and I have a particular hobby which involves looking up incredibly fancy and expensive restaurants on Tripadvisor and looking at all the one-star reviews – honestly, there is no better window into the pettiness and entitlement of human beings than seeing what motivates people to give sh1tty feedback on the web; a particular recent favourite involved some bloke getting shirty about the quantities of wine he was served at a tasting dinner somewhere whilst also gently dropping in the fact that he’d had three Martinis before arriving at lunch (GYAC mate you were one unit away from voiding yourself). Anyway, this isn’t about that – instead it’s about Google reviews, which are much nicer as a rule, and the people who write them, and why they do it, and there is so much of this piece that will make you feel (I promise!) a small warm glow towards people in general (also, it made me think that there’s a really good (oh, ok, not ‘good’ so much as ‘niche and obscure’) narrative mechanic in Google reviews, and you could make some wickedly-complex treasurehunt-y game with a bit of work and a lot of usernames).
  • How To Write English Prose: I’m not certain that this is a guide that should be followed to the letter (as my friend Rishi pointed out, “any piece that implicitly posits Browne as a high point of English prose is immediately saying that it only wants to be read by a dedicated hardcore of aesthetic nutcases.”), but I did very much enjoy its slightly-curmudgeonly tone and its flagrant disregard for much of what is considered ‘good’ prose styling in 2023 (limited adjectives, keep punctuation simple, don’t use fancy words when simple ones will do) in favour of a more maximalist, flourish and FUN style. Actually, on reflection this is a great companion to the piece up top about how to ensure your prose is distinguishable from GPTx, so perhaps read them as a pair.
  • Iain Sinclair on The SuperSewer: Look, it’s Iain Sinclair, it’s talking about urban infrastructure, it riffs on my neck of the woods in London…this is basically perfect (if you’re a particular type of middle-aged man, at least). I mean, just read this – he is so so good: “The democracy of the street is undone. Flow has been hobbled by temporary diversions longer lasting than the names of the roads they invade. Free movement is invigilated by surveillance cameras. Walkers keep their heads down, looking away from the evidence of failed businesses. There is a sense of everything being downgraded. The public highway is a cluttered platform, a conveyor belt for the clinically disgruntled. A travelator that doesn’t travel. The street is barely tolerated as a boundary around the latest imperious tower block, the converted public house, the decommissioned bank that is now a pop-up restaurant. Mute towers in ever denser clusters repel unsanctioned pedestrianism. There are three opposed elements: the towers, the street and the shaft. The gaping maw of the Super Sewer goes down as far as the surrounding towers climb, but it is covert, safe behind barrier walls, protected by yawning security operatives in hard hats, charged with stalling appointments.”
  • O Brother: John Niven writes beautifully, movingly and unsentimentally about his late brother, and what a difficult fcuk he was, and how and why and where he misses him; this is superb, touching on family and memory and history, and it’s much a chronicle of two decades of working class British life as it is a memorial to a single person.
  • Violent Delights: SUCH a great essay, this, on True Crime as a genre, and why women love it so, and how it embodies certain tropes and ideals around gender and race, and how it makes us feel to semi-ironically indulge our fetish for Eros-Thanatos so openly. This is smart and interesting and FUNNY, which isn’t something you can always say about death-related crime writing.
  • The Switzerland Schedule: Last of the first longreads of the year is this piece, about what it’s practically like taking someone to die in Switzerland with Dignitas, and how it works, and how it feels to do it, and what it feels like to have done it. Sorry to end on a downer, but, well, this felt reasonably close to home and, whilst sad, it’s a lovely piece of writing.

By Roma Auskalnyte

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!: