Author Archives: admin

Webcurios 28/06/24

Reading Time: 38 minutes

HELLO I AM BACK HELLO!

How are we all? I mean, I say ‘all’ – as is inevitable at this time of year, my already-vanishingly-small audience is further thinned by what I imagine is a significant number of you being in a field in Somerset, and a large proportion of the rest of you still being attached to the post-Cannes recovery IV, but to those of you who are reading this then a heartfelt THANKYOU HI I LOVE YOU.

Anyway, here in the UK we are a week away from a GLORIOUS NEW DAWN – or at least we’d better be, or else there will I fear be some sort of collective mass suicide event as we all fail to get our heads around another 4+ years of Conservative horror. That…that couldn’t actually happen, could it?

Well, regardless, I won’t be here next week to comment on it – sorry, but there’s no way in hell I am not staying up next Thursday, meaning the likelihood of me being in any fit state to start writing this crap at 6am (or indeed of wanting to) is pretty much nil. SO, this newsletterblogtypething will return on 12 July, hopefully in basking in the glow of…well, in all likelihood a Government that doesn’t look hugely different from the old one, policywise, but where familiarity has yet to breed total, overwhelming contempt!

That’s…that’s progress, right?

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and you are definitely better off reading this than being at a festival, DEFINITELY.

PS – thanks to everyone who shared the TinyAwards link and submitted a site! Nominations will be revealed in a few weeks!

By Jessica So Ren Tang

WE KICK OFF THIS WEEK WITH ANOTHER SELECTION OF TECHNO, ELECTRO, BEATS AND BLOOPS (AND, INEXPLICABLY, SOME ZAPPA) BY FORMER EDITOR PAUL!

THE SECTION WHICH ISN’T ASHAMED TO ADMIT THAT IT’S WISHING FOR A SMALL, LOCALISED MONSOON TO HIT WORTHY FARM BETWEEN NOW AND SUNDAY, PT.1:  

  • PortilloGeddon: Ok, so this one’s FOR NEXT WEEK, but if you’re in the UK (or indeed if you’re one of those foreign perverts who takes an active interest in other people’s elections – FREAK) and want to maximise the enjoyment as a bunch of Conservative MPs fall domino-like across the country then you might want to bookmark this website and return to it as you watch the results come in on July 4th. It will make it MORE FUN, and you will probably be able to gamify it in a way that almost guarantees you start the new government with incipient cirrhosis.
  • How Has Your Area Changed?: Oh, and if you’re still somehow vacillating over which way to vote and want some EVIDENCE-BASED RATIONALE to ensure that the incumbents get fcuked every which way to hell and back, you might find this tool interesting – plug in any postcode in the UK that you fancy and it will neatly show you how a few important local metrics have trended over the past 14 years, such as apprenticeships and knife crime and NHS waiting times, all pulled from public data. You get presented with a small overview, but you can also click ‘show all statistics’ in the bottom left and you get additional data, graphs and sources to show you where the numbers are coming from (official stats – this is all legit), and a fun game is to try and remember all the postcodes you have ever lived and, and then to plug all of them in, and see if ANYWHERE got better in an measurable way over the past 14 years because, honestly, I am fcuked if I can find anywhere where the graphs go in the right direction.
  • Guess The Candidates Party: I promise, the last electoral link of the week (and, all being well, the last thing pertaining to a UK election for at least four years, please God), this is a simple game that asks you to guess which of the major parties you believe the person presented to you is standing for. DO ALL YOUR PREJUDICES MAP CORRECTLY? This is, on the one hand, harder than you might think given the wide range of mad little parties putting up candidates, but it’s interesting/amusing/telling (delete per your level of metropolitan prejudice) how easy it is to zero in on Tory/Reform picks.
  • BBC Sound Effects: After a couple of weeks in which the labels finally appear to have woken up to the existential threat posed to them by Sudo et al (lol, except we all know that it won’t be the labels and top 10% of artists that get screwed – it will be the session musicians and jobbing production engineers, whose interests literally noone gives a sh1t about!), it’s nice to be able to bring you some GOOD OLD ANALOGUE SOUNDS (except delivered digitally, so not actually that analogue at all). This is a WONDERFUL resource and a very fun tool, and it is surprisingly powerful – a library of…I want to say ALL THE SOUND EFFECTS, but even by my standards that’s probably ridiculous hyperbole, so let’s just go with ‘loads’ of sound effects, all from the BBC audio library, made available online for your joy and delectation (and non-commercial use). You want over 91 different cat sounds? GREAT! You want kettles and whistles and mumbled conversations and someone indistinctly shouting “RICKAAAAAAAAAAY!” in the middle-distance? SUPERB! All the samples can be downloaded for you to mess with as you choose (per the aforementioned ‘non-commercial’ restrictions), and there’s an additional lovely feature where you can pull a bunch of different audio samples into a player together and use them to create a sort of soundbite of your choosing…basically this is great, superb bit of BBC public service work, and an amazing resource, and another opportunity to remind you that anyone who seriously advocate cutting the BBC’s funding or abolishing the license fee is a selfish, miserable cnut who doesn’t understand the first thing about the value of culture as a public good. So, er, there.
  • That Toys’R’Us AI Ad: I like to think that, given it’s late-June and that it’s been quite nice this week and the football’s on and that at least some of you have LIVES, a significant proportion of you will have no idea that this week Toys’R’Us (still, apparently, alive as a brand, although I have a feeling that at this stage it’s basically just a logo (and an increasingly dead-eyed anthropomorphic giraffe) with nothing behind it other than the terrifying, evil vampire squid of private equity) have made THE WORLD’S FIRST ENTIRELY-AR-GENERATED TV AD!!!! It’s supposedly generated with Sora, the yet-to-actually-be-made-available-to-proles text-to-video tool from OpenAI, and as with anything made with this tech there’s literally no way of knowing how much post-production work has gone into it and how long it took and what the workflow was…and also, as you will see if you click the link, the ad is bullsh1t – a generic ‘the dream behind the brand’ fable, with all the classic hallmarks of AI video (object impermanence, shifting and inconsistent characterisation and ‘look’, the sort of wobbliness in all the movement and characters that makes you think that you’re just starting to come up on acid, you know the deal by now)…but that doesn’t matter because, as you can tell from the whole breathless ‘THE WORLD’S FIRST…’ the whole point of this was not to make a good advert or to show anything meaningful about creativity and AI and the industry, or do anything interesting…it was instead ALL about getting cheap and easy headlines from…people…like…me…oh. Anyway, the ad’s sh1t, the tech’s not ready, I remain unconvinced it will be for a good 18m yet (MINIMUM), let’s see.
  • Calculating Empires: I have to be honest, I remain uncertain whether what you will see when you click this link is the product of genius or madness. On the one hand, it might be an incredibly sophisticated piece of visual communications depicting the evolution of thinking across 30 disparate areas (think ‘the biosphere’, ‘time’, ‘biometrics’, ‘communications infrastructure’, that sort of thing) and offering a sort of maximalist overview of the evolution of modern thinking and understanding from approximately 1500 to the near-future; on the other, it might make as much ACTUAL sense when you dig into it as intricate scrawls of mid-episode schizophrenics – I simply cannot tell, it is TOO MUCH. What I can tell you, though, is that it is DIZZYING – you can’t quite get a sense for the full scale of it unless you zoom right out and then see how deep it goes when you zoom in again. Anyway, here’s the blurb – I would really, really like to see this printed BIG somewhere, just to see if it coheres, as I don’t personally think a screen does it justice at all: “Calculating Empires is a large-scale research visualization exploring how technical and social structures co-evolved over five centuries. The aim is to view the contemporary period in a longer trajectory of ideas, devices, infrastructures, and systems of power. It traces technological patterns of colonialism, militarization, automation, and enclosure since 1500 to show how these forces still subjugate and how they might be unwound. By tracking these imperial pathways, Calculating Empires offers a means of seeing our technological present in a deeper historical context. And by investigating how past empires have calculated, we can see how they created the conditions of empire today. Calculating Empires centers on four themes: communication, computation, classification and control. Across the centuries, the work illustrates the shifts in communication devices, infrastructures, and computational architectures, and how they are entwined with the histories of social control and classification. The vertical axis represents time, beginning with the 16th century at the base. The horizontal axis features a collection of systems: from algorithms to architecture, bodies to borders. Navigation is flexible: you can follow a theme, a time period, or set of ideas.” Have a look, it’s quite insane.
  • Play Library: This is a lovely initiative (I think, at least) by the National Library of Singapore, presumably just a PR stunt to raise the profile of reading in general and the library more specifically – not dissimilar in style to a ‘choose your own adventure’-style GPT prompt which I featured in here a few months back. The gimmick here is that the team behind this has taken a selection of books which are in the public domain (Sherlock Holmes, for example, The Count of Monte Cristo, the Jungle Book, etc) and plugged them into The Machine with a pre-prompt that turns them into pieces of interactive fiction, letting users interact with the books rather than ‘just’ reading them. So for example, you can explore The Count as a (fine, limited, but still reasonably faithful) game in which you decide how to approach Dantes’ return to his homeland at the start of the novel, get imprisoned with him, find the treasure, become the Count…it’s paper-thin, true, but it’s a nice gimmick in terms of letting you explore the classics and a smart (and largely free, time commitment notwithstanding) bit of PR which I have seen all over the place in the past couple of weeks.
  • Diane Lindo: I do love me some unpleasantly-visceral stop-motion animation, and this really IS some unpleasantly-visceral stop-motion animation! The link takes you to the Twitter account of one Diane Lindo whose work encompasses slightly-battered dolls, collaged text, paper, body horror, and a general sense that everything is going wrong under the surface in ways that are going to become messily apparent far sooner than you might like. This isn’t technically in any way ‘horror’, but also it very much is – SO GOOD.
  • The Vogue Archive: For some of you this may well be the only link you need this week (well done for burying it halfway down in section one Matt, you pr1ck) – an ASTONISHING selection of imagery from the Vogue archives, released as the in partnership with Google and which the magazine describes as: “the launch of 15,000 newly digitised colour images from the archives on Google Arts & Culture, the culmination of a five-year collaboration spearheaded by Ivan Shaw, Condé Nast’s corporate photography director, and Amit Sood, the director of Google’s Cultural Institute. Said images can be browsed not just by year, colour and designer, but by subject, too, whether your interest is in Versailles or Veruschka.” Honestly, if you have any interest at all in the history of modern fashion and its representation in popular culture, this is basically your Louvre.
  • Anime Themes: Now I come to think of it, this is another one that some of you might find completes you entirely. I’ve mentioned here before, I think, that I grew up before the Great Anime Love-in started – it seems like everyone about 10 years younger than me grew up watching Dragonball, Naruto and the like and as such it’s part of their childhood and their formative experience, whereas my only exposure to it (apart from in Italy, where it was on ALL THE TIME – but only very specific anime, namely giant robots, wrestlers, footballers, and, er, space kids in inexplicable bird costumes) was terrifying tentacular horrorbongo that I really wished I had never, ever seen, particularly not at age 8 – but I am aware that for a whole generation it’s basically YOUR CHILDHOOD. So, then, you might enjoy this site which is a fcuking astonishing collection of anime theme tunes – I mean, seriously, this appears to have millions of the fcuking things (oh, ok, ‘over 15,000’, but that’s PRACTICALLY millions), searchable by title, director, year, etc, and if you can’t find what you’re looking for on here then you might just have to give it up.
  • Kindred: With the news that Barcelona is going to ban Airbnb rentals by 2028 (genuinely intrigued to see if that happens and, if it does, what ends up filling that space), perhaps we’ll all be in the market for an alternative way of getting ‘cheap’ accommodation in urban centres – so you might want to take a look at Kindred, which is basically a ‘no-money Airbnb-type solution’ which instead of working on a pay-per-night basis works on a credit-swap system; hosting people in your home earns you credit to stay in other people’s, everyone on the platform is real-ID vetted before being accepted, everyone (or mostly everyone) hosts in their real home, and the only expense for the person visiting is that they cover the costs of post-stay cleaning for their hosts….this all sounds quite nice, except for the fact the fees look…quite steep? I mean, $510 for ‘cleaning and services’ for 7 nights in NYC feels like…a lot, but maybe I simply don’t understand what the going rate is for running a Dyson around a Brooklyn basement these days. Anyway, might be worth a look if you feel ‘NyLon apartment swapping with strangers’ will feed your wanderlust.
  • Receiptify:  Another ‘get the jump on your Wrapped data’-type toy for Spotify – plug in your account and you can get a bunch of different views of your listening data, giving you ‘a user’s 10 most-played tracks from the last month, last 6 months, and all time’, all presented in a SO AESTHETIC receipt-style format. If you catch yourself early you still have time to curate your 2024, audio wise (but, also, take a long, hard look at yourself).
  • The One Shot Photo Contest: I’ve been trying to work out what exactly the gimmick is here beyond ‘LOOK, BLACK AND WHITE PHOTOS!’ and to be honest I don’t think that there necessarily is one – but, well, LOOK, BLACK AND WHITE PHOTOS! Some of these are wonderful – personal favourites are the French dancers in a field, and the performer guy with the pierced nipples in the corset wearing the expression of beatific contentment, but please pick your own (also, aside from anything else, it’s nice to come across a photo contest that I haven’t featured a dozen times already in here).
  • Matcha: It’s been a BAD YEAR for new devices, it’s fair to say, particularly given the Rabbit’s latest round of ruinous press, but I am going to maintain cautious hope that this new entrant into the arena might be…well, let’s keep the expectations grounded and limit them to ‘not total sh1t’. Matcha’s set to be a small, tactile-looking box with a speaker and mini screen, which basically lets you do a bunch of useful things that you would ordinarily need your phone to do without needing to actually have your phone. Per the Page, “General purpose I/O is always a button press away. Right button to take a photo, left to record audio. Capturing inspiration and memories, reminders, journalling, etc. without a hyper networked device on you. ‘Applications’ that need the screen are accessible by just speaking a word. E.g Here’s the weather, and my calendar within a second of saying the word.” This is VERY early days yet, so there’s no information on price, timescales or suchlike, but you can submit your email if you want updates – I like the fact that this feels like a hobby project rather than something looking to raise hundreds of millions, and generally it gives me Good Vibes, should that for some reason mean something to you.
  • More Than Enough: A TikTok account which, as far as I can tell, has one ‘thing’ and that ‘thing’ is taking video of details of paintings, and adding a voiceover to said paintings in the manner of a very modern video comedy in which all the minor characters in, say, a Lowry, have an argument about what takeaway to get. Which, I realise, is an ATROCIOUS description which almost certainly actively-dissuades you from clicking, but trust me when I tell you that this is a) very funny indeed (and I say that as someone who normally doesn’t get this sh1t at all); and b) feels like a genuinely good ‘bit’ that could run and run, should they be bothered.
  • Akadimia: What if I told you I could give you access to THE GREATEST MINDS FROM HUMAN HISTORY, all of them available for you to talk to and chat with and ask questions of and LEARN FROM like the unceasingly-thirsty knowledge sponge that I know you are? “SIGN ME UP, MATT!”, is what I imagine you would cry – only to be bitterly disappointed when you realise that what I was actually offering you was in fact Akademia, a platform whose ACTUAL offering is, er, a really poorly-realised AR model of, say, Mohammed Ali, moving jankily on your living room floor while you type questions into your phone (no, you can’t talk to the greatest minds in history via voice, sadly, which does rather sort of ruin the point of the AR gimmick). This is janky and rubbish and frankly the only reasons I am including it are how terrible the character models are, and the frankly risible promise that the app will make you ‘the smartest person in the room’. WHAT SORT OF ROOMS DO THEIR TARGET MARKET INHABIT?!
  • Football Sticker Yourself:  On the one hand, I feel like I should probably caveat this with a general warning about what a bad idea it is to upload photos of your face to strange websites whose ownership you’re unsure of; on the other, I am pretty sure I can trace this back to London agency Phantom, so should you find yourself being cloned and your identity being used to, I don’t know, shill cialis on the Cambodian web in a few years’ time, you know who to have a go at (to be clear, it is THEM not me). In celebration of the Euros, this is a classic ‘give us your photo and we will turn you into a 1980s football sticker complete with hair and shorts and the odd patina that only photos from the 70s and 80s have’ and it works BRILLIANTLY and your Euros groupchat will love it, promise.

By TS Harris

OUR SECOND MIX IS THIS BEAUTIFULLY-CHILLED SELECTION OF LOUNGEY-TYPE STUFF MIXED LIVE AT CAFE DEL MAR BY ANDY WILSON!

THE SECTION WHICH ISN’T ASHAMED TO ADMIT THAT IT’S WISHING FOR A SMALL, LOCALISED MONSOON TO HIT WORTHY FARM BETWEEN NOW AND SUNDAY, PT.2:

  • Habbo Is Back: I am of an age that my main exposure to Habbo Hotel was my mate Luke doing the PR for it for a few years back in the day, but I am conscious that there may be some of you for whom it has a more substantial nostalgic pull (or, if I am correct in my suspicions about the Curios readership, your kids enjoyed it) – anyway, Habbo is BACK, resurrected, phoenix-like, in what looks to my exceptionally-untrained eyes to be a pretty faithful recreation of the original, with all the furnishings and personal spaces and odd, boxy avatars that you remember so well, alongside what they promise is all the quality of life stuff you would expect (safety, moderation, community guidelines and all that jazz). Would YOU like to crawl back into an internet that feels small and safe and cute just like it did when you were 11? I mean, look, I want to have a go at you for regressing but given I am currently rereading a bunch of novels I last read two decades ago I don’t think I have any legs to stand on, so, well, enjoy!
  • Search The Market: A gorgeous little bit of webart, this. “Think about a personal and private google search and post it on this website. Something you might not have told the ones dearest to your heart. Google uses these searches to generate a data profile of you to sell on open bidding markets. This website creates a bubble for each search to remind us of all the data collected.” The site is literally just a list of searches that other visitors have submitted which you can scroll through, and each is clickable so you can see the results that show up for each – a window into other people’s hopes and fears and dreams and how they are mediated and reflected by the web. This feels like an installation of sorts waiting to happen.
  • Butterflies: Would you like to install a new social network on your phone? No, of course you wouldn’t, you’re presumably not (that sort of) a masochist – but wait! What if I were to tell you that this was a social network…entirely populated by AIs?!?! No, wait, come back! This isn’t the first of these that I’ve seen – there was one about a year ago, I think, but that was text-only and web-based, whereas this is an app and significantly shinier, and has GRAPHICS and…no, actually, it’s still a sh1t and pointless idea. You download the app (I know this because I bothered – you may not want to), and you’re then prompted to spin up as many ‘characters’ as you want which you can then use to populate the network. Give them a personality, a backstory, some traits, and then set them loose to post and interact and share pictures and…WHY?!?!? Look, I can sort-of see the appeal in a vague ‘infinite sandbox experiment’ sort of way, but that simply doesn’t apply with this sort of stuff when it’s built on your standard LLM – everything, per all GPT-type text you will ever read, is sanded down to LinkedIn-smooth-blandness, which means that all of the posts and ‘interactions’ have that horrible ‘meaning-shaped but unpleasantly-empty’ vibe of most untreated LLM slop; that, coupled with the fact that whatever model they’re using to generate the images tends hard towards ‘generic Stable Diffusion busty elf girl cheesecake’ as its aesthetic, makes the whole thing feel like a PG-13 Reddit thread full of the most boring conversations you can imagine. NOONE WANTS THIS STUFF. Or at least I really hope they don’t. Interestingly I left ‘alerts’ on, just to see how ‘autonomous’ these agents are – I have had none in the six days since I installed the app, suggesting it’s perhaps not really working. SURPRISE!
  • Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot: Matt Round continues his one-man mission to make the web a better place with a new project dedicated to becoming the web’s number one fansite for all-time classic Stallone vehicle ‘Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot’. “We couldn’t resist buying the domain name, or taking on the challenge of creating the best fansite ever for this classic film. Don’t miss the amazing fanart and GIFs, send us your thoughts and keep an eye out for the launch of our podcast, Stop! Or My Mom Will Mute.” I have no idea how long he will keep this up, but, personally-speaking, I am intrigued by the podcast (and I NEVER say that).
  • Seen: Another new app, this one apparently intended to be used by actual people rather than AI agents – Seen has one gimmick and one gimmick only, namely that it’s an app exclusively for reaction videos. Rather sadly, the app’s description in the App store (iOS-only at present) reads: “Tired of sending hilarious video content to your friends and getting just a ‘haha’ in return? Seen is a video sharing app that shows you authentic reactions to the videos you send. Share memes or mini vlogs of your life and get genuine real-time reactions to all your content” which rather makes it sound like a passive-aggressive away of demanding that your friends LAUGH AN APPROPRIATE AMOUNT at your hilarious content. Anyway, this is either going to die a miserable death or it’s going to lead to an unpleasant resurgence in swap.avi reaction videos, either/or.
  • Climate Zones: Have we all accepted that the weather’s going to keep getting different? No? Oh. Still, for those of you who would like some DATAVIZ-LED INSIGHT into exactly what this change is going to look and feel like in the coming 30-40 years, the fine folk at The Pudding have pulled together this lovely-if-troubling guide as to how various cities around the world are likely to change in terms of average temperatures, rainfall and the like, and I encourage you to scroll through and have a read/play because it’s not only just a really nice piece of work (as per with these guys – they really have been consistently excellent for years now, credit where it’s due) but also because it contains all sorts of really quite granular detail about how each city’s climate is likely to shift (London becoming a place with ‘no dry season’ feels a bit too on-the-nose tbh).
  • Dracarys: This is ‘just’ a bit of WebGL coding with particulate effects, but it is SO PRETTY and therefore worth checking out. LOOK AT THE BEAUTIFUL SPACE DRAGON! Very nicely coded indeed. Oh, and if you want more simulated particulate fun, this is VERY satisfying to play with.
  • Timeface: I think this might be my favourite bit of digital clock design I’ve seen in an age – it looks like a mess on first viewing (and, ok, on second an third as well), but then it clicks and I think that this would look very cool on a watch, personally (and I say that as someone who hasn’t worn a watch since approximately 1993, and, honestly, whose wrists are probably too thin to support one these days anyway).
  • County Cricket Day 2024: OK, this isn’t internetty AT ALL (aside from the fact it has a website), but it’s being organised by a friend of mine out of a simple desire to Do Something Good, and despite my complete lack of interest in cricket I figure that some of you who live in the UK and who don’t intend to spend Sunday afternoon getting right on the pub gak while you cheer on GARETH’S UNDERPERFORMING, OVERPAID BUNCH OF CNUTS LET THE LEASH OFF SOUTHGATE YOU PR1CK WHY AREN’T YOU PLAYING TRENT GET GALLAGHER OFF WE OUGHT TO BE WALKING THIS WHO’S GOT THE BAG GET US A PINT IN OUR BOYS might find this of interest. “County Cricket Day is a fan-led campaign to celebrate County Championship cricket, and encourage as many people as possible to attend a game on ​Sunday 30th June 2024. It’s inspired by (but not affiliated with) Non-League Day, which for over a decade has worked to attract fans to football games at the lower end of the pyramid, and has helped spark a renaissance at that level of the game. County Cricket has a lot in common with Non-League Football: it’s affordable, it’s at the heart of local communities, and it provides matchgoing fans a relaxed environment to enjoy games in the way they want to. At many county grounds, you’re also able to bring in your own food and drink. But most importantly of all – you’ll be guaranteed a warm welcome by the people running their clubs for the joy of the game. Whether you’ve played cricket, are a committed fan, or have never experienced the game live before, we want to show people that the fixtures on County Cricket Day promise a joyful and memorable day out for everyone.” Maybe give it a go?
  • Cursor Museum: Whilst I am very much not a father and will never be one, the fact that I enjoyed this single-gag website quite as much as I did suggests that I have now become a dad on some sort of spiritual level.
  • 45 Football: OH MY GOD THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING COLLECTION OF FOOTBALL-THEMED SONGS I HAVE EVER SEEN! Compiled by one Pascal Claude in Zurich (THANKYOU PASCAL!), “This is for all football and vinyl and footballvinyl lovers around the planet. I hope you enjoy. 45football.com is based on my collection of vinyl 7″ records on football. I started to upload the files in July 2012, since then I’ve been about to register the singles week by week. I’m still happy to find records I haven’t known yet, so feel free to get in touch. Also if you have some additional or preciser information on a record. If there’s a song on 45football.com you own the copyright of and want it to be removed, please let me know. It was and is impossible to regulate all the copyrights of all the hundreds of records here. Most of the record labels don’t exist anymore.” Honestly, if you’re the sort of person who REALLY wants to put together a football-themed playlist for your Euro finals party in a few weeks time, but is ALSO the sort of appalling muso who insists on all the songs being obscure vinyl-only samba/funk novelties from 1980s Uruguay then OH MY GOD this is going to make you happy. SO SO GOOD.
  • The Ultimate Playlist Index: This…this might be the most incredible music repository I have ever linked to in 14-odd years of doing this, no joke. The project’s a byproduct of the Rate Your Music community, and, as far as I can tell, is an attempt to create a comprehensive list of links to the ULTIMATE playlists for every single genre of music ever conceived of, the playlists that you would give to aliens if they were to make First Contact and inexplicably lead off with a question about ‘really wanting to get into baile funk but not really knowing where to start’. Seriously, click the main link and scroll and marvel at the incredible selection of playlists, offering you an entry into every single type of sound you could possibly conceive of, from ‘Ottowan Noise’ to ‘Viking Metal’ and everything inbetween. Seriously, there are 1600 separate playlists linked to here, this is ASTONISHING. Oh, and if you want EVEN MORE MUSIC, you might enjoy checking out this insane library of what its curtator terms ‘exotica’, which as far as I can tell basically means ‘seemingly hundreds and hundreds of vinyl records of vaguely-loungey guitar music from mid-20th-C America’ and which you really have to click around to explore properly because fcuk me this goes DEEP’.
  • Paint Spin: Make your own spin painting type artworks, in-browser, which is far more satisfying than it sounds, I promise you. Soothing in a way few ‘make an art!’ toys tend to be.
  • Election Leaflets: “ElectionLeaflets.org is an online archive of political leaflets. It is created by members of the public photographing and classifying what comes through their doors at election time. Since 2010 there have been 19563 leaflets added to the archive, providing a valuable resource for academics, journalists and campaigners.” This is a UK site, to be clear, so it’s UK political parties – as seasoned leaflet-watchers might expect, the Lib Dems and their unusual approach to graphs and their axes feature heavily here, but what’s really interesting to me about this is the wild variance in design choices across the spectrum, even within parties, and the degree to which it gives a reasonable impression of the vast, mad unruliness of campaigning at a national level (also, special shout out to the independents and in particular Chaz Singh who’s standing in Plymouth and who has SUCH WHOLESOME ENERGY on his leaflet (please don’t be an awful person, Chaz Singh!) and whose clashing fonts I rather love).
  • Webcollage: Via PFRC, this is a lovely bit of webart – per the description, “WebCollage is a program that creates collages out of random images found on the Web. More images are being added to the collage about once a minute, so this page will reload itself periodically. Clicking on one of the images in the collage will take you to the page on which it was found. It finds the images by feeding random words into various search engines, and pulling images (or sections of images) out of the pages returned.” As its creator says, ‘this is what the internet looks like’ – inchoate, slightly out-of-focus, unpredictable, and a portal to an infinite number of mysterious places. AS IT SHOULD BE.
  • LEGO Cars: A Flickr album full of images of classic cards recreated in LEGO. In case you really want 17 photos of a model of a Mercedes Benz W112 Fintail Build, recreated in Swedish plastic blocks because, well, who wouldn’t? NO FCUKER, etc!
  • Urban America: I know, I know, the sheen has rather come off AI-generated imagery now that we’re all beginning to realise that, hang on, the pollution is starting…still, let’s ignore that (and the whole environmental thing) in favour of enjoying this pleasingly-unsettling TikTok account that posts short clips about regional horror myths – the dead-eyed Alaskan Kutasha, the Teke Teke from Japan… these are all spun up in (I think) Midjourney and then animated with a variety of different tools, and they work REALLY well – short and focused enough to be unsettling without breaking the immersion through AI jank, this is some of the better ‘making interesting things with AI tools’ content I’ve seen in a while.
  • Queen Songs: Would you like a genuinely exhaustive guide to the music of Queen, including a link to an actual proper book analysing the band’s songcraft? OF COURSE YOU WOULD! There’s a…slightly odd man who lives in what used to be my mum’s apartment block in Rome who used to blast Queen at earbleed volume at all sorts of odd hours of the day, and has done for years, and while I am unlikely to ever see him again and he will never read these words, I dedicate this link to HIM (and, er, any of the rest of you who have a deep and abiding love for Fat Bottomed Girls).
  • The Best Legal Website I Have Ever Seen: As far as I can tell, this really is the website of a French firm of lawyers (I have checked, their registered on the official list of legal representatives and so seem legit) – just click on it, seriously, and then ask yourself ‘why aren’t all lawyers’ websites this good?’. THERE IS NO GOOD ANSWER. If you work in corporate webdesign, PLEASE show this to all of your most tedious clients and ask them to DREAM BIGGER.
  • 23 Words: A daily word game – but no, wait, come back! This is simple, clean and quick – you simply have to find solvethe 23 anagrams you’re presented with each day within the time allotted. They start easy with four-letter words, then the difficulty ramps up until by the end…well, look, I am terrible at anagrams and I, er, struggle towards the end of each day’s puzzle, but it’s oddly satisfying and it’s at most a minute or two each day should you want to add it to the timewasting routine (current daily time required before work can start: 43 minutes).
  • Woodworm: This is SO CUTE – the premise is simple, you’re a woodworm (of course you are!) and your task is to eat away at a block of wood to replicate the shape you’re shown on each level. Gently brainteasey at higher levels, but satisfying rather than frustrating, and generally VERY PLEASING (when you solve them, rather than when you’re coming up hard against your (ok, my) total lack of anything resembling patten matching abilities).
  • One Million Checkboxes: This week’s ‘wow, this really has been EVERYWHERE’ link is this charming multiplayer website project/game/thing – this is literally just a million checkboxes on a webpage, checkboxes which have two states (checked vs unchecked), checkboxes which anyone on the website at any given time can check or uncheck to their heart’s content, and which have resulted, since it went live a few days ago, in one of those occasional amazing experiments in collective will and behaviour that you occasionally get online (see also Reddit’s The Place and its various incarnations). Log on and just watch, and you’ll see the site is an endless back and forth of factions attempting to tick all the boxes, or seeking to ensure that that NEVER happens, people trying to write rude words in ticks, people just sort of muddling around at the edges…EMERGENT BEHAVIOURS! I love this stuff – it’s a bit like (bear with me) watching a field of long grass being moved by the wind – you can’t see the actors (wind/people clicking), only the resulting effects of their movement (shifting grasses/boxes changing colour) and there’s something almost ghostly about it…anyway, I fcuking adore this and would quite happily have this on a massive screen somewhere ambient (but I appreciate that my idea of what constitutes ‘public art’ is possibly not universal).
  • Pokerogue: Finally this week, something that I sort-of bounced off pretty quickly because I simply don’t have the ingrained Pokemon knowledge to either be competent or particularly interested, but which I imagine will grab some of you by the synapses and not let go – this is basically a roguelike variation on Pokemon where you have to battle through the entire roster of beasts, collecting as you go, unlocking new starters and generally putting all your accumulated Pokeknowledge to the test. If you or someone you know are the sort of person who can actually tell the difference between, say, Pokemon Diamond and Pokemon Pearl (please, do not tell me) then this is for YOU!

By Casey Goddard

OUR FINAL MIX THIS WEEK IS THIS WEATHER-APPROPRIATE ‘CANARY ISLANDS MIX’ BY ATLASt WHICH A GENUINE SUNSHINE-Y DELIGHT!

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

  • Cinema Without People: I mean, you don’t really need me to explain this for you, do you? This is BEAUTIFUL, some wonderful shot selection here.

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • The Plum Island Museum: The Plum Island Museum is a collection of objects which have washed ashore in Massachusetts, maintained by a single woman – it’s a physical collection too, visits on appointment, but this is the photographic record of the various detritus that collects on the shingle. “The shoreline is a place where nature collides with the detritus we humans leave in our wake. Plastic forks intermingle with bird bones, Happy Meal Toys float in on clumps of seaweed. Frequently, I mistake reeds for straws or straws for reeds. It is easy to see how sea creatures innocently attempt to feed on things we have left behind.” Beautiful and sad.
  • Ohmni: You will know MIA as an artist from Paper Planes, obvs; you may also remember her as an outspoken voice on Sri Lankan independence back in the day, and, over the past few years, a peddler of…increasingly esoteric opinions on a wide range of topics, which is why it was not a HUGE surprise this week to see that the singer/artist/producer has launched a range of clothes which are, er, made of materials designed to stop the 5G from reading your thoughts. I am not exaggerating – click the link, and look what happens when you take the classic ‘tinfoil hat’ concept and make it FASHION. A snip at £100 – after all, WHAT PRICE THE SANCTITY OF YOUR BRAINWAVES? Well, quite.
  • The Bali Time Chamber: There is a lot of masculinity that I really don’t understand AT ALL, and the whole ‘MEAT AND MUSCLES AND FIRE AND BEING ALPHA’ thing is very much of that ilk. Perhaps that’s why I found the concept of The Bali Time Chamber so perfectly, wonderfully ridiculous – the idea that MEN need a space surrounded by OTHER MEN without the distractions of women or booze or, er, vegetables which are keeping them from achieving their FULL MASCULINE GOALS. Still, if that sounds like your sort of thing then you will LOVE this – a place in which upto about 25-odd men can all pay to hang out together in Bali, in a fully-catered island paradise where you can…I don’t know, to be honest, the website has a lot of stuff about ‘fulfilment’, but the general vibe I get from the whole thing suggests that that ‘fulfilment’ might be the sort that comes from pump-and-dumping a memecoin and making off with six figures of mooks’ crypto. Still, PLEASE read the brochure – it is VERY FUNNY – and enjoy the majesty of the Insta feed, which, were I not aware of how it was selling itself, I would strongly suggest looks like it’s advertising a very particular type of man-on-man bongo if I’m wholly honest.

LONG THINGS THAT ARE LONG!

  • 14 Years: Apologies for the second or third Curios in a row leading on a UK election story, but, well, we only get them every four or five years, so you will I hope forgive me. This is the London Review of Books, again, looking back at the totality of ‘how we have got here’ – honestly, this is really really superb, focusing as it does not JUST on a decade and a half of Conservative misrule, though there’s plenty of that too, but also on the wider sociopoliticotechnological factors that moved and shifted alongside the politics, and how the two currents moved in tandem to shape Britain into the…well, the mess it currently finds itself in. This isn’t anything uplifting, obviously , but it is very comprehensive and reasonably-even-handed in doling out its slaps, and makes some interesting points throughout – I personally found the argument about the erosion of trust in all public institutions, starting from the MPs’ expenses scandal and moving through Savile and the BBC, phone hacking and the rest, all the way through Covid and the assorted lies and chicanery, and how that sequence of events has had as much impact on our relationship to the body politic and the overall state of the nation as any policies. I can’t imagine for a second you need any other reasons to vote ‘anyone but those cnuts’ come next Thursday, but it’s worth reading this to give you an extra spring in your step as you stroll to the ballot box. BONUS ELECTION CONTENT: I can’t imagine any of you want to listen to a podcast about social media ads and the UK election featuring me, but, well, just in case.
  • Housing: Another LRB piece, and another one about the UK – SORRY INTERNATIONAL READERS, SORRY – this one about the housing crisis and how it’s playing out in Manchester, and some of the reasons why we’ve ended up in a situation where nearly 150,000 children are on the list of the statutorily homeless. This covers Grenfell and speculative property investment and the criminal justice system, and as someone whose work over the past couple of decades has variously touched the prison service, the probation services and the property development sector, this is a staggering indictment of the past 25 years or so of collective (in)action and naked profiteering. You will, if you’re anything like me, do a genuine doubletake at some of the quoted extracts from the property investment advisors helping clients in the Middle East invest some of their wealth in UK rental properties – turns out they are all accurate and you can read them here in full. The reality of the UK’s international status (and our economy, and housing market) as described in this piece, and the difference between that reality and the version being peddled to potential Tory and Reform voters as to the halcyon vision of WHAT BRITAIN COULD BE AGAIN (if only we got rid of the pesky foreigners, specifically the brown ones) is…astonishing.
  • The Ministry of the Imagination: Ok, three pieces in and a small iota of hope! This is VERY LONG – but, also, is more of a smorgasbord of ideas than a single longread, and as such you might want to bookmark it or file it somewhere for future reference. I feel I need to give you the full explanation so you can get the gist, so, well, here: “The From What If to What Next podcast ran from May 2020 until March 2024, calling it a day with its 100th episode. Each one took a different ‘What If’ question and with two guests dived deep into what the world might be like had that change already been made. The questions were often sent in by listeners and covered a wide range of topics. Those who subscribed on Patreon to support the podcast also received our bonus ‘Ministry of Imagination’ episodes. Here, the guests stuck around for a little bit, and were inaugurated as Ministers at the Ministry of Imagination. The Ministry itself increasingly became a character in its own right–it was a Ministry of Imagination after all. On one visit it might have run off to join the circus, another might find it on an asteroid because it wanted a change of perspective, and on other occasions it transformed itself into a dazzling array of different things or hosted all manner of wonderful and fantastical events and occasions. It always kept us guessing. Each freshly-inaugurated Minister was invited to choose 3 policies that could be immediately implemented that would rapidly accelerate the collective move in the direction of the question we had been discussing. They were encouraged to choose policies that were bold, audacious, ambitious and beautiful. They set to their task with great relish.” This is a collection of ALL of those ideas, those imaginary policies, those ‘things we could try to make things better’ concepts, all arranged in one immense document, arranged by theme, and containing a quite staggering array of potential proposals for making things better. Some will infuriate you, some will make no sense, but occasionally you’ll read something and get properly inspired, and, seriously, if you’re curious about ideas and policy and MAKING A DIFFERENCE, or alternatively want a bunch of other people’s thinking about purpose-related stuff that you can keep on file and dip into whenever you need to steal an idea, this is GOLDEN (if you can ignore the 20-odd % of this that is pure woo, like ‘giving people the space to love themselves’, fine).
  • Progress Is Annoying: An excellent article explaining why it is that many people find social change irritating, and why it is that that irritation is not a sign that that change is bad – or, indeed, that certain people getting irritated is not automatically a sign that a change is per se good either. The piece gives you enough information that, hopefully, “should lead you to pause the next time you reflexively roll your eyes upon encountering some new, annoying norm and the changes its advocates are asking you to make. That irritation is not your bullshit detector going off. As tempting as it can be to interpret the unpleasant feelings as your moral compass ringing alarm bells, your annoyance is just a feature of your norm psychology becoming misaligned and reacting to the unfamiliar. A better response would be to treat your feelings of irritation as a cue for further reflection. Instead of simply going along with your immediate gut reaction, step back and take those feelings under advisement, along with any other relevant factors, and then consider whether your response is reasonable: ‘Is this new thing actually bad, or does it just feel that way because it’s unfamiliar?’”
  • How To Fix The AI Copyright Issue: To be clear, I am not 100% convinced that this is THE solution, but it’s certainly a really interestingly-argued piece of thinking and contains some smart potential solutions to the problem of ‘how do we adequately compensate the people whose works have been used to train the machine that is now churning out serviceable replicas of exactly such works?’. This is quite knotty, but Tim O’Reilly explains it cogently – there’s basically a thought at the heart of this about rewarding people for the extent to which an output resembles them, with the greater the resemblance the greater the degree of remuneration; per O’Reilly’s thinking, “One option might be to retrieve the raw materials for generation (versus using RAG for attribution). Want to generate a paragraph that sounds like Stephen King? Explicitly retrieve some representation of Stephen King, generate from it, and then pay Stephen King. If you don’t want to pay for Stephen King’s level of quality, fine. Your text will be generated from lower-quality bulk-licensed “horror mystery text” as your driver. There are some rather naive assumptions in this ideal, namely in how to scale it to millions or billions of content providers, but that’s what makes it an interesting entrepreneurial opportunity. For a star-driven media area like music, it definitely makes sense.” If your work even vaguely touches on these sorts of questions this feels like a must-read.
  • GenZ’s Digital InformationGathering: This is REALLY interesting, although it’s important to caveat it with the fact that it is NOT QUANTITATIVE RESEARCH – this is *all* qual, all based on 25-odd interviews, and therefore should not be taken as anything other than ‘interesting anecdata which deserves more enquiry’. Still, it’s done by Google’s Jigsaw research arm which makes me trust it a bit more – basically what the study showed was that typical GenZ behaviour when it comes to information discovery is TO GO STRAIGHT TO THE COMMENTS AND SEE WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING THERE. So, effectively, like a crowdsourced tl;dr – based in some part on a general sense that ‘truth’ doesn’t matter so much as ‘utility’ when it comes to information. “”Within a week of actual research, we just threw out the term information literacy,” says Yasmin Green, Jigsaw’s CEO. Gen Zers, it turns out, are “not on a linear journey to evaluate the veracity of anything.” Instead, they’re engaged in what the researchers call “information sensibility” — a “socially informed” practice that relies on “folk heuristics of credibility.” In other words, Gen Zers know the difference between rock-solid news and AI-generated memes. They just don’t care.” Look, this is a BusinessInsider writeup and therefore hacky and sensationalistic, and, as previously stated, this is not statistically significant in any way…but, equally, it *feels* plausible, certainly based on my recent interactions with this generation, and does make me think that we have a lot of people who will have no qualms whatsoever happily embracing AI summaries of search results with nary a concern for hallucinations, provenance or anything else.
  • Nonsense Accelerationism: Or, ‘how and why memes have become so incredibly informationally dense as to be incomprehensible to anyone who isn’t basically deeply broken with onlineness’ – this piece doesn’t offer any real explanations, or certainly not a singular one, but I enjoyed the line of questioning around ‘the death of shared cultural experiences’ post-mass-linear-TV and the extent to which hyperdensememeticism is a reaction to that (personally speaking I like to think of it as a bit of arch metacommentary around the impossibility of ever again having a true picture of ‘culture’ from the air, but feel free to make your own interpretation).
  • Your New Interactive AI Journal: I know we’ve had a lot of ‘I tried an AI assistant – this is what I learned!’ pieces of junk journalism over the past year, but I thought this was slightly more interesting – Mark Wilson, writing for FastCompany, has spent a year or so with a just-out personal companion app called ‘Dot’, and shares his thoughts about the experience in this piece. Wilson was broadly positive, although there’s nothing in here that suggests this is in any way a MUST HAVE (or even particularly useful) application of the tech. “At a glance, it’s not much more complex than any messaging app. But look closer, and you’ll notice an ombre patterning in the background that subtly reflects Dot’s thinking. Then if you pinch to zoom out on your conversation, that endless conversation is bucketed into a list of topical summaries. My own summaries include topics ranging from “Jon Batiste concert” to “new workout routine” to  “Mark’s introspective nature.” Many of these phrases are hyperlinked. Tap one, and you end up at what feels a lot like a Wiki – sometimes with accompanying images if you’ve shared them. On top, Dot summarizes its take on the situation, writing about you in third person. Below that, a timeline charts out updates on the topic over time—one of my topics—“One Piece obsession”—tracks my thoughts on the long-running manga series as I read it. This approach to design takes Dot beyond conversation. It creates an organized, running narrative of your life; and the team intends to lean into this approach with more features in the future (imagine auto-generated memes tailored hyper specifically to your life events). However, much of Dot’s service is not about your own digging but its proactive “Gifts.” These are messages it sends you every now and again after thinking more about you. For me, they’ve included recipes I might like, articles I might be interested in, and follow-up observations to conversations we’ve had.” Personally-speaking I have no interest in this sort of thing – I enjoy ‘talking about and thinking about myself’ about as much as I tend to enjoy invasive, exploratory dentistry – but I can really see this sort of thing appealing to people with a more developed sense of self than I possess.
  • Why You Can’t Really Trust Online Reviews Anymore: Tl;dr – because “Balazs Kovacs, a professor of organisational behavior at Yale School of Management…fed a large batch of Yelp reviews to GPT-4, the technology behind ChatGPT, and asked it to imitate them. His test subjects — people — could not tell the difference between genuine reviews and those churned out by artificial intelligence. In fact, they were more likely to think the A.I. reviews were real.” Which means, if these reviews are as effective in persuading people as ones written by actual humans, you are going to see every single ratings and recommendations system on the web getting absolutely DESTROYED by bots (presuming this hasn’t happened already tbh). I really hope Reddit has some robust plans in place to deal with this (lol!).
  • AI-Augmented Books: This is SO interesting – I am not entirely convinced that this will become A Thing, but it’s certainly curious enough to have piqued my interest. In WIRED, Laura Kipniss writes about working with a new company called Rebind, which is basically trying to make ‘discursive books’ a thing. It’s quite hard to get a full handle on the user experience being proposed here, but, based on Kipniss’ experience, it sounds like Rebind want to create digital versions of classic texts which operate, effectively, as discursive builds on the novel in question – they work with writers and thinkers to effectively make the text ‘talk back’, effectively letting you have a dialogue with said writers and thinkers about the text you’re reading, effectively turning it into a sort of always-on book group where you’re interacting with an AI that’s itself been trained on LOADS of thinking and analysis of the text by smart, interesting people. This is still prototypical, and details on the exact functioning of the tech are a bit iffy in the piece, but it was genuinely interested to think about, and imagine, ways in which the act of reading could be rendered qualitatively different  – and in way which seemingly doesn’t fcuk with the actual original text.
  • Delivering Food In 50 Degrees:  On how delivery companies and drivers are planning on coping with the new reality of 50+ degree temperatures. To be honest this piece, in Rest of World, is as much a photo essay as anything else, but if you can read this corporate comment from one of the major delivery players in India without having a proper ‘fcuk me, this is dark’ then, well, you’re a more upbeat person than I am: “All Swiggy delivery partners have access to a free, rapid-response ambulance service.” Does that…does that sound good? I would posit that in fact it does not sound good at all.
  • The Odd Kindle Slop Vortex: Leah Beckmann writes about discovering an odd corner of Amazon where the AI written ‘books’ live, and the strange and seemingly-almost-eldritch-feeling way in which the books merge and meld and appear and disappear in the Kindle Store, almost like there’s now a totally separate an unknowable, by us at least, layer of commercial reality that is just The Machine moving in 4d chess ways that we simply don’t and can’t understand (that is very much what is starting to happen, fwiw).
  • A Weird Night At Frog Club: I like going to nice restaurants, but sometimes a true stinker of a review is almost as satisfying as some top-notch scran. This isn’t quite an evisceration, but it is a very funny takedown of what sounds like a perfectly-preposterous restaurant called ‘Frog Club’ in NYC, which insists on secrecy and exclusivity (but, er, has tables available on Resy), where the food, honestly, sounds like a p1sstake, and where it feels like the owners are laughing all the way to the bank. Superbly enjoyable throughout (also, can someone tell me what the current London equivalent of this is, please? I refuse to believe we don’t have something similarly idiotic going on here).
  • The Madness of the Jay Slater Facebook Groups: Apologies for the Unherd link, but I rather ‘enjoyed’ this overview of the madness currently swirling across Facebook Groups up and down the land over the disappearance of Jay Slater, currently missing in Tenerife and subject of some…increasingly-loopy speculation about what might have happened to him and who might have been involved, and which is basically a sort of continuation of the Baby Reindeer thing and proof positive that we’re now so internet-poisoned (THEORY: referring to everything as ‘content’, and the ultimate pomo context-collapse engendered by EVERYTHING BEING ON YOUR TINY PHONESCREEN, means that there is literally no dividing line now between ‘entertainment’ and ‘not entertainment’, and as such literally anything thatwe experience on that screen is grist to the mill of KEEPING US DISTRACTED AND AMUSED) that there is literally no event so significant/serious/sad/mundane that it won’t be turned into ‘fodder for bored people to pore over’ within seconds. Also, conveniently, it’s REALLY EASY journalism – you have loads of GREAT unhinged posts you can embed, and you can do a sneery look at ‘all the online morons’ which, simultaneously, appeals to all the OTHER online morons who like sneering at the first set (er, yes, guilty), so EVERYONE’S A WINNER. Except, probably, Jay Slater.
  • The Apple Emails: This pretends it’s about theft from an Apple Store, but it’s not – instead it’s about the genuinely surreal materials created to sit on display computers in the Apple store, just in case anyone ever bothered to click through into the email client on a display Mac. This is, I promise, genuinely funny, and will appeal especially to any of you who have ever had to write entirely pointless copy JUST IN CASE.
  • The Worst Pitches: Back for what feels like our weekly visit to The Fence now, with this excellent piece in which a variety of UK journalists who share the worst story pitches they have ever made to editors (apart from one, who shares the worst PR pitch they ever received – which, whilst funny, feels like cheating imho). Some of these are very, very funny, though there’s a certain degree of incestuousness about how many of the people quoted here obviously all worked at VICE – still, this made me laugh a lot: “I did once try to do ‘Adventures in the Ketaverse’, i.e. taking ketamine with a VR headset on.”
  • Who’s Got A Problem with Damian Hirst?: Not so much an overview of Hirst and his career, despite what the title might suggest, and more a review/overview of the current exhibition at his Newport Street Gallery in South London, and a retrospective on that particular period in the 90s when British Art was a thing, and Hirst’s place within that canon – I went this week, as it happens, and aside from a couple of stellar pieces (Myra, a few Bacons, a beautifully-unpleasant collage by Antony Micallef) it mainly served to remind me how much I fcuking hate Banksy and how I always thought Gavin Turk was overrated (lol, like he cares).
  • Active Fire: This is LOVELY, and I hope it becomes a regular series – James Caig and (friend of Curios) Rishi Dastidar in epistolary conversation about an album they both love – in this case, ‘Giant Steps’ by The Boo Radleys. Despite the fact that this is a record that I didn’t personally hold particularly dear, there’s something glorious about reading two people for whom it obviously meant LOADS talking about why it does so, and where and when they were when it came out, and how it’s accompanied them through their lives. Honestly, this is SUCH a nice format, and some beautiful writing to boot.
  • Finishing a Dead Man’s Novel: “Eight years ago, my mother met a woman named Laurene. When my mother told her she had a son who was a writer (I hate it when she does this), Laurene exclaimed, “I have a story for him!” And Laurene, I came to learn, meant this in the most literal sense. Two weeks later, in her kitchen, Laurene told me her late husband, Jim, had spent decades writing a novel that he had always planned to finish upon retirement but died before he got the chance. He was not a professional writer, rather a surveyor by trade. Laurene presented me with a large leather briefcase, heaving it onto the table and resting both hands upon the lid. “His notes, his chapters, his everything is here.” Richard Kelly Kemick writes about the gift/burden/horror of the bequest, about the concept of unfinished novels, about the act of writing, about failure to write, and and and…whether or not you are ever likely to try and write a novel yourself, if you enjoy words then you will adore this.
  • The Art of Translation: THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL. Honestly, if you speak more than one language well then this will, I think, absolutely sing to you – and if you don’t, I think it’s as good a way as any of starting to get your head round how two languages interrelate, and don’t, and how bridging the gaps between one and the other works both linguistically and conceptually and, to a certain extent, even emotionally. Honestly, I sighed out loud with pleasure at certain parts of this so deeply did I feel it.
  • Swallowing: We finish the longreads this week with this piece in the Paris Review by Gabriel Smith, whose novel, Brat, I read last week and rather enjoyed – this is…fiction? Memoir? I am unsure, but it is very very good indeed. “A thing about growing up: you do not know what is strange until after. This was suburban England and the Holy Jemima’s hobby seemed about the same, to me, as my parents’ doctor friends’ African masks mounted on the walls above their CD towers of world music. Six streets down from them was Bellybutton Man, whose hobby was watching us leave school whilst silently smiling and lifting his blue T-shirt to finger his navel. And Bellybutton Man seemed about the same as Andy, eight minutes across town, who ran a pub and was a chess savant, who showed you newspapers and explained where the grandmasters were making mistakes. And Andy seemed about the same as Jake, whose hobby was that his parents let him drink as much Sunny Delight as he wanted. When you’re a kid it’s all just flora and fauna. You learn prejudices slow, like which plants are poison.”

By Amie Dickie

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

Webcurios 14/06/24

Reading Time: 36 minutes

Hello everyone, hello hello – firstly THANKYOU to everyone who shared the Tiny Awards link over the past week, it is HUGELY appreciated and I would thank each and every one of you personally if that wouldn’t involve a degree of stalking that would almost certainly make you exceptionally uncomfortable. If you would like to share the link AGAIN, then PLEASE DO – here it is! The Tiny Awards! Nominations open for another couple of weeks or so!

Anyway, this week’s Curios is, as ever, PACKED, BULBOUS AND STRAINING WORRYINGLY AT THE SEAMS with excellent writing (not mine), games, pictures, webtoys and curiosities – which is good, because I am off next week and maybe the week after too, what with having to nip to Italy for a few days (I have to sign a piece of paper – the 21st century continues not to be entirely-evenly-distributed, turns out). Still, the extra time between newsletters will give you the opportunity to finally CLICK EVERY LINK. Won’t it? WON’T IT?????

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and you might want to plan something big for next Friday to fill the massive, Curios-shaped void in your life.

By Keita Morimoto

WE KICK OFF THE MUSIC THIS WEEK WITH AN EXCELLENT NEW MIXTAPE OF MANC HIPHOP BY THE EQUALLY-EXCELLENTLY-NAMED BRITIZEN KANE! 

THE SECTION WHICH HOPES ALL OF YOU ENJOY THE EUROS AS LONG AS YOUR ENJOYMENT ISN’T CONTINGENT ON ENGLAND WINNING, PT.1:  

  • Dream Machine: The list of ‘impressive-looking text-to-video models that we’re only currently able to see hand-curate demo videos from’ got longer last week with the announcement of Kling, by Chinese appmakers Kuaishou (don’t get excited, it’s waitlist-only and only available to people with a Chinese phone number) – it joins Sora from OpenAI on the list of ‘things that people with souls of questionable quality believe will KILL HOLLYWOOD’, but until there’s a version people can actually play with then I am personally withholding judgement on AI video. BUT! There is now Dream Machine, a new text-to-video toy that anyone can use in their browser! YES, EVEN YOU! Click the link, enter a prompt, and (depending on what time of day it is -at times yesterday there were queues of a few minutes to render anything) you will get your VERY OWN ‘Hollywood-killing’ (LOL) snippet of AI video with which to amuse and delight your friends. So, what are the outputs like? Hm. On the one hand, this is by far and away the most impressive bit of freely-available video generation kit I have seen (beats Runway into a cocked hat); on the other, there is no way in hell you would ever use this for anything other than ‘messing around’. Basically it can’t do anything with complex moving parts very well (so people are out), it can’t do text (hence the garbled ads on the side of buses), it has no concept of persistence of vision, which means that elements will flit in and out of existence within a single clip…but it’s still QUITE MAGICAL. Have a play, you will enjoy seeing if you can make it generate anything truly horrifying (I am yet to succeed with that challenge, but please do let me know how you get on). To be clear, though, I think we are still quite a long way away from this being anything other than a novelty – although, as this thread proves, the novelty can still be pretty fun. Oh, and it can go to some quite unpleasant places, suggesting a degree of 80s horror film in its training data.
  • AI Steve: It’s a mark of how incredibly underwhelming and largely uninspiring this election campaign has so far been (we’re halfway through, everyone, there is light at the end of the tunnel! It is, fine, unclear as to whether said light is in fact an oncoming train, but let’s just cross our fingers and hope not, eh?) that ‘AI Steve’ got pretty much universal media coverage this week – that, and the fact that the media is still in a phase where appending the letters ‘a’ and i’ to any old crap will guarantee you at least a modicum of attention. So it is with ‘AI Steve’, the gimmick elevating the no-hope candidacy of one Steve Endacott, an ‘entrepreneur’ from Brighton from ‘Just Another Middle-Aged Oddity’ to ‘An AI-Enabled Middle-Aged Oddity’ – the idea is that all of Steve’s policies will be, er, crowdsourced, through people interacting with the AI Steve chatbot? I think? And then other people vote on them? And ‘AI Steve’ needs to exist, because despite the fact that real life Steve is standing for election in Brighton, on the South Coast of the UK, his actual day-to-day residence is in Rochdale, very much in the North of the UK, where he lives with his ‘new wife’ (sorry, but the level of detail there – why ‘new’, Steve? Why the need to emphasise that? Was there a first draft in which the adjective ‘young’ was also appended to the word wife, Steve? Do you…do you refer to her in the third person as ‘the wife’ in conversation, Steve? I bet you fcuking do, you know – really sent me), and as such AI Steve will serve as a bridge between the real MP and his real constituents because, er, he doesn’t care enough to actually move to the place he says he wants to represent. This makes so sense at all – the buttons on the website where you’re supposed to be able to ‘talk to AI Steve!’ don’t work, ffs, and as far as I can tell the only bit that does is the datacapture form to harvest your details so they can tap you up for donations…except of course it DOES make sense when you realise that Steve (real world Steve, that is) is an entrepreneur (and, per his website, an ‘Angle Investor’)…who is an investor in Neural Voice, the company whose tech is powering the ‘AI Avatar’ software. Jesus Christ, PLEASE LET THIS BE OVER SOON.
  • Say What You See: A cute little Google Arts & Culture experience which is basically a ‘my first prompting class’ tutorial, but delivered with all the charm and general pleasing air of cute that you’d expect from Google. The game is simple – you’re presented with a selection of images, and your job is to write a prompt in such a way that Google’s image gen tech creates something that it recognises as being meaningfully-similar to the target image. SIMPLE! This is surprisingly fun, not least as a way of working out how Google’s own particular image gen model weights terms and where you put them in a prompt, and it’s a great way of getting an understanding of How This Sort-of Works and how to make The Machine do (sort of) what you want it to.
  • Midjourney Launches Model Personalisation: This is, fine, a bit technical and will only really make sense if you’re a Midjourney user – but by this point there’s not really a good excuse not to be, particularly considering the web interface is slowly opening up and means you will soon never have to touch Discord ever again. This is a Twitter thread explaining how The Machine will now let you effectively designate a specific style as ‘yours’ – effectively letting you anchor your generations in a particular corner of latent space, should you find an area of it that is particularly aesthetically satisfying to you. What this means in practice is another step towards being able to deliver consistent outputs, which means significant improvements in terms of the ability to create photoshoot-style content, or multiple frames in identical style for storyboarding, etc – seriously, MJ is so far ahead in terms of quality of images generated that it’s almost ridiculous, although it’s still not managed to shake the standard ‘yep, this is Midjourney all right’ sheen which distinguishes the majority of its output (you can swerve that by getting it to output cameraphone-style images, though, in my experience). BONUS AI IMAGE STUFF: The Stable Diffusion subReddit has been quite fun this week, as various WELL-ADJUSTED MEN react to the fact that the new version of the model has gotten markedly worse at generating anatomically-correct women. Dear Christ.
  • The Deep Ark: This is, on the one hand, the website to promote a very, very niche book about, I think, 90s ambient Techno: “A psychedelic odyssey that plunges the reader into a mythic exurban world of wonder, ritual, folly & friendship, The Deep Ark blurs the lines between the imagined, the real and the invoked. Moments of tenderness, humour, grief, joy and revelatory intensity combine to form a fragmented narrative of quiet lyrical beauty, suffused with an abiding reverence for the music, memories, community and landscape that inspired it.” Does that mean anything to you? Anyway, that’s not important – what IS important is that there is ALSO an accompanying 8-HOUR(!!!!) mix that goes with the book, featuring Aphex Twin and Autechre and μ-Ziq and all your other INTENSELY TUNEFUL FAVOURITES, and I think for some of you this might possibly be somewhat transcendental.
  • Cara: Segueing on nicely (if I do say so myself) from the last link, Cara is a new online community which has done big numbers this week off the back of some rather zeitgeist-baiting positioning around AI – to whit, they aren’t having any of it on the platform, neatly positioning Cara as a nice, utopian, hand-knitted alternative to the increasingly-hollowed-out Deviantart et al. I haven’t dug into this enough to work out whether it’s 100% worth a look – and as ever with places like this that get a mad influx of users off the back of a sudden publicity burst, I am…sceptical that it will have robust enough community support in place to cope with all the headaches that a quick uptick in users brings – but if you’re after a new platform on which to host all your work as a visual artist then this might be worth a look. FWIW, though, I think this policy – “We do not agree with generative AI tools in their current unethical form, and we won’t host AI-generated portfolios unless the rampant ethical and data privacy issues around datasets are resolved via regulation” – is, frankly, dumb and shows a lack of understanding of what you can do with AI in the context of art; there is a significant qualitative difference between ‘artist making their own work with their own models, tinkering and tweaking and training’ and ‘plugging some words into Dall-E’, and not to acknowledge the genuine artistic potential of the former seems shortsighted imho.
  • Hypercinema: This is interesting – fine, a bit niche, given it’s aimed squarely at the visitor attractions space, but I continue to be curious about ways of bringing generative AI into real world spaces and how you can integrate it into consumer experiences for CREATIVE AND POTENTIALLY FUN RESULTS. Basically this company sells its services to theme parks, museums, galleries and the like, with a view to working with them to make interactive experiences for visitors which harness generative AI. Per the blurb, its tech is “a state-of-the-art AI platform powering HyperCinema, fusing advanced algorithms for unique visitor experiences. It features intelligent personalization, dynamic content generation, and interactive engagement, evolving continuously to redefine digital storytelling.” Which, fine, so far so w4nky – BUT I do think there’s something sort of self-evidently fun about this stuff, and I have been going on for at least a year about creating physical manifestations of AI magic, and these people seem like they might be worth looking at should you ever want to ‘make Matt’s idea of an AI-enabled Magic Mirror reality’ (PLEASE IT WOULD BE REALLY FUN).
  • The Climate Reality Check: A website which self-describes as ‘the Bechdel test, but for the environment’, and which is dedicated to tracking the depiction of the climate emergency in film and TV to see how culture reflects reality over time. “Climate change is our reality. It’s happening here and now, not elsewhere or in the future. It touches every aspect of life. But that reality is still largely absent from our on-screen stories. The Climate Reality Check is a simple tool to evaluate whether our climate reality is being represented in films, TV shows, and other narratives. It’s inspired by the Bechdel-Wallace Test, which measures gender representation.The Climate Reality Check asks whether, in a given story: a) Climate change exists; b) And a character knows it.” You may be unsurprised to know that, of the 250 films analysed, just under 10% passed the test – meaning that (as you probably already knew tbf) over 90% makes no reference whatsoever to the fact that We Might Have A Small Problem Coming Up Here. Another one for the ‘hm, I wonder what happens to an idea or issue when the arts entirely fail to engage with it?’ folder, alongside ‘the pandemic’. Anyway, this is an awareness-raising bit of comms by an organisation called ‘Good Energy’, and very nice it is too.
  • Beauty in the AI Age: I’ll be honest with you, I tend to be VERY SNIFFY about Dove’s comms – partly because I am of an age whereby, for about a decade, every clunkily-explained attempt to define what an ‘insight’ is (DEAR GOD NEVER AGAIN) was accompanied by the Dove ‘campaign for real beauty’ case study, to the point that I briefly started hiding their products in the supermarket; partly because I despise the parent company; and partly because there’s something so nakedly cynical about the (admittedly impressively-jujitsu) move of ‘weaponising female insecurity to sell unguents, but in a really stealthy way’ – but this is really good. Click the link and it takes you to a microsite (weird nostalgia typing that word just now) about how AI-generated imagery might impact and affect beauty standards, and a link to download a brochure outlining some principles to help brands and creators make images that are more representative – and, honestly, the brochure is GREAT. Practical, clear, with decent instructions on prompting and things to consider and ways to construct your interactions with The Machine, and acknowledgements of all the watch-outs, and I honestly can’t fault this at all from the point of view of ‘really smart extension of the brand into sort-of knew territory’. Bloody Dove.
  • The Vittles Map Of Slightly Obscure Places To Eat in London: If hipsters were still a thing, I would call Vittles ‘the hipster foodie bible of London’ – but they’re not, so I can’t. Still, hopefully you get the idea – for any of you not aware, Vittles is a newsletter which highlights (mostly) London food that tends not to get written about elsewhere, the diaspora cuisines of the city’s Eritrean or Somali or Chilean or Croatian or Laotian communities you might find in the outer boroughs rather than your Soho/Hackney joints. For a while now they have been running a weekly column that recommends six small, local joints – this map accumulates all those recommendations, so that wherever you are in Greater London you can find yourself a reasonably-priced and highly-recommended meal. A truly SUPERB resource – I can vouch for the quality of the recommendations, the ones near my house are all ACE – even if, as with all of Vittles stuff, the sense of reverse-snobbery is palpable (“of course, all the real cognoscenti know that the BEST food in London is served from a nondescript van under a Haggerston viaduct between 10-11am on the third Thursday of every month with an ‘R’ in it.”
  • The Forgotten Madness of 2001: A superb Reddit thread in which people look back at some of the things which happened in 2001 which, as a result of the all-consuming Western hysteria engendered by the September 11th attacks, have rather been forgotten in the subsequent decades. Very US-centric, in the main, but there are some astonishing ones here – this, in particular, made me stop and think about ‘WHAT MUST THAT EXPERIENCE HAVE BEEN LIKE??’ (horrible, inevitably): “Air Transat Flight 236. Plane from Toronto to Lisbon ran out of fuel in the middle of the Atlantic and glided 75 miles to an airport in the Azores and safely landed. Longest glide of a passenger airliner. Happened 3 weeks before 9/11.” I mean, just *imagine*.
  • Dumb Domains: Want to make your own website? YES OF COURSE YOU DO! In which case you might find this site helpful – a search engine for cheap and, admittedly, silly domain names. If you want a url and you don’t really care what it is, and you don’t mind it being…whimsical, at best, then this really is your best friend – tangypatrick.xyz could be YOURS for a mere £5, for example, which is the sort of bargain I imagine you’re all here for.
  • Build Your Own Website: Think of this as a companion to the last link – this is a charming little webpage dedicated to giving advice and encouragement on building your own small domain online. There are links to tutorials, short guides to ‘what to think about when you’re thinking about making a website’, some guides to terminology, all wrapped up in an aesthetic that can best be described as ‘Rainbow Brite’ (I don’t know why this is the reference my mind immediately jumped for; must raise that with the therapist).
  • Tokyo In Roblox: Another entry in the semi-regular ‘stuff happening in Roblox that I think is interesting’ slot – this is the Tokyo Metropolitan Government making TOKYO IN ROBLOX! Fine, ok, it’s not the WHOLE of Tokyo, but it’s a fun little representation of it, with minigames and landmarks and things to visit and stuff to collect…this strikes me as a brilliant and theoretically-inexpensive way of doing tourism to kids in a way that makes sense.
  • Recipe Search: Ooh, this is GOOD – blazingly fast search engine JUST for recipes – I think all the recipes here are taken from a training set for LLMs, so it’s all stripped back and hence really simple to use. The only caveat is that it’s all (from what I have seen, at least) US content, meaning you have to contend with the frankly-preposterous measurement conventions that for some reason Americans have decided make sense – THEY DON’T MAKE SENSE WTAF IS A ‘CUP’ WHY CAN’T YOU USE THE FCUKING METRIC SYSTEM LIKE LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD? And yes, I know that an English person complaining about national exceptionalism is a *touch* pot/kettle, but, well, authorial privilege.
  • MS Paint Anything: Quite possibly my favourite use of AI of the week – I think this is a Stable Diffusion mod which has been trained to style transfer anything you feed it into looking like it was drawn – badly – in MS Paint. Honestly, I lost a good 10 minutes this week feeding it photos of people – it does TERRIFYING THINGS to faces and smiles, and, honestly, if I still had access to a corporate ‘Meet The Team’ page on a website I know exactly what I would be doing with my afternoon (PLEASE DO IT PLEASE PLEASE – I can guarantee that it will take FAR longer than you think for anyone to notice; as a leaving gift to one former employer, I spent my final afternoon in the office modifying every single employee bio by the addition of a single line; examples included ‘Distinguishes himself by being the only MD in the UK powered by clockwork’, and ‘no outstanding convictions’. Took them WEEKS to notice).

By Aleksandra Waliszewska

OUR NEXT MIX IS THIS SUPERB SOUL-AND-FUNK SELECTION COMPILED BY BANARDO! 

THE SECTION WHICH HOPES ALL OF YOU ENJOY THE EUROS AS LONG AS YOUR ENJOYMENT ISN’T CONTINGENT ON ENGLAND WINNING, PT.2:  

  • Shop Like Batman: Presuming that none of you are billionaire playboys with access to an improbable degree of military-grade hardware, it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to replicate the Batman/Bruce Wayne lifestyle in any meaningful sense (other than the whole ‘crying alone at night’ thing – that’s within reach of all of us!) – but if you’re rich enough, you can now SHOP LIKE THE BATMAN! This is an online shop which…is this some sort of retail-focused extension of the bat-brand? Is that a thing now? Apparently so, per this piece in Fast Company, which treats the idea of ‘what if Bruce Wayne were a real person? What sort of obscenely-expensive tat would he buy to signal his status and taste to the world?’ with frankly insane levels of reverence. This was briefly hosted in a real-world New York townhouse last week, at an invite-only series of in-person immersive shopping trips for, presumably, millionaires who still have superhero-themed bedsheets – but you, mere peon, can still browse the wares via the online shop. Want to buy a ‘one of only ten made, ever’ working replica of the Batmobile (recent, rugged, military-styled version), finished in Anish Kapoor-authorised Vantablack and complete with, er, ‘imitation gun turrets’? You pathetic little man – but HERE YOU GO! Fancy some violently-overpriced glassware to adorn your version of Wayne Mansion? GREAT! I am slightly agog at this.
  • The Cuneiform Corpus: Describing itself as “The World’s Largest Online Corpus of Translated Cuneiform Texts”, this is slightly incredible – input any keyword you like and it will pull the relevant texts from the extant archive of translated cuneiform text from about 3,000 BC onwards. You can drill down into specific periods and eras and geographies should you so choose, which is obviously of use to anyone using this for serious scholastic purposes, but for everyone else there’s something truly amazing about just chucking random, banal words into the search box and seeing what comes back to you from several millennia past. Shopping lists and lamentations and curses and and and – I really, really like this a lot.
  • FuryPage: Ooh, this is quite cool – FuryPage is a simple, off-the-shelf way of making nice-looking scrolly animation sites. There are various different templates that you can use, and I think these are primarily intended for designers to show off their portfolios, but I reckon this is probably flexible enough that it can be turned to whatever end you fancy – the outputs look rather slick, and this might be worth a look if you’re in the market for a more interesting landing page than you might get with Wix or the like.
  • Bloggers Blogging About Blogging: A blog, collecting blogposts by people who blog about the fact of blogging. Which I appreciate is recursive to a degree that might not necessarily be immediately appealing to all of you, but which, honestly, is actually really soothing in what I can only describe as ‘a very old internet sort of way’. Basically this website practically has elbow patches it’s that middle-aged in vibe, but it’s also a nice (nascent, and growing) collection of thoughts and reflections by a selection of people (mainly in the UK, and currently mainly focused in tech/IT from what I can tell) about why they blog and how and what about, and it’s a non-terrible place to start exploring a specific corner of what, quaintly, used to be called ‘the blogosphere’ (dear God WHAT a hideous term that was) about 20 years ago.
  • Deer In Places They Shouldn’t Be: Would you like a Twitter account dedicated solely to sharing images of deer interloping in places where, objectively, they have no place? To be honest this account doesn’t *quite* live up to the name – I was hoping for more ‘deer looking guiltily into the camera as it’s snapped attempting to sneak out of the domestic bedroom via the window’-type content – but it’s a nice enough source of gentle, deer-themed humour, and who doesn’t want some of that in these trying times? NO FCUKER, etc!
  • SmallStack: This is a nice initiative – SmallStack is a new initiative designed to highlight small (<1000 subs) newsletters on SubStack; from what I can tell, anyone whose newsletter falls under the qualifying threshold can submit theirs, and the best ones will be mailed to subscribers as a ‘here’s a small newsletter you might be interested in checking out’ teaser. Cute, and a potentially good way of uncovering some new writers you might not otherwise discover – although, caveat, it being Substack there is likely to be a lot of twee sh1t too (sorry, but) and a reasonable number of people who expect paying for what is, objectively, dogsh1t writing (again, sorry, but).
  • Math Encrypt: I LOVE THIS. Input any number you want and this website will magically (not magic) come up with a VERY COMPLEX-LOOKING EQUATION which, if solved correctly, will give the number you originally entered as its answer. Want a challenging way of ensuring that only a very specific type of maths nerd ever gets your number at a bar (lol at the idea that anyone gets chatted up in the real world any more, but still)? HERE YOU ARE THEN! Ok, fine, this is very much ONLY useful as a filter for people with a certain minimum degree of mathematical ability, but I really like the potential applications for this for ARG-type games (or just fcuking with people).
  • Decker: Have you ever thought to yourself ‘God, I really love making slide-based presentations – DECKS, IF YOU WILL (I won’t, by the way, I fcuking despise that term) – but I wish there was a way for me to make them in a manner that replicated, almost exactly, the specific aesthetic of 1980s MacOS’? WELL LUCKY YOU! Decker is exactly that – this looks…surprisingly powerful, with a degree of Visual Basic-lite programming you can do of slides and buttons and things, but the main draw is obviously the look-and-feel.
  • The Mewsletter: EXACTLY the sort of pun-based and narrow-focused sort of project I think we should all get behind, The Mewsletter is a new, er, newsletter whose author has decided to attempt to visit every single one of London’s 2,381 mews streets (DO YOU SEE?) and write about the experience. I don’t know who’s writing this, but I enjoyed their justification as to why: “So: would take too long to walk every street in Greater London, don’t want to walk every street in some particular bit of Greater London, certainly don’t want to just lie about walking every street in some particular bit of Greater London. But what if there was a more feasibly visitable subset of streets, found throughout the capital? For example, every street called ‘[something] Mews’: is visiting all of those achievable? Well, if it is, I will declare myself the Softest Geezer and demand that I am allowed to yell “MENTAL HEALTH” at Sir Keir Starmer3 until he starts crying and declares that what I have done is better than any of his stupid policies.”
  • Frogland: Do YOU like and appreciate frogs? Do you wish there was an online portal devoted to the best of the amphibians?  Do you want to go back in time nearly 30 years? OH GOOD! Welcome to Frogland, the internet’s premier frog-themed website since 1995! 1995! Honestly, this is like unearthing something from ancient Mesopotamia, Hammurabi’s teenage diaries – it was obviously maintained by a kid who not only loved frogs but who had parents who were techy and geeky enough to be online in the very nascent era of the public web, and it is SO PURE AND LOVELY (and also, froggy!), and in particular I thought there was something genuinely sweet about the ‘awards’ section where you can see all the different accolades the site got in the mid-to-late 90s when there were obviously a bunch of initiatives to celebrate and reward digital creativity/curiosity among kids of the era. I know this is SUCH an old person’s thing to say – I know it, and yet I’m going to fcuking say it, which, again, is VERY OLD PERSON – but I do think it’s a shame that we don’t seek to promote and reward digital creativity in this way any more (by which I don’t just mean ‘making websites’, by the way – spinning stuff up in Roblox or Fortnite or Blender or Unreal might be a better modern equivalent then ‘cobbling together a webpage in Dreamweaver’).
  • Bookfinder: This is a really useful resource – if you’re looking for books that are old, or out of print, or you’d simply like to buy physical copies of something that’s a bit hard to find from somewhere that isn’t Amazon, then just type in the title to this search engine and watch as it pulls out listings from websites you’ve never even heard of. Importantly you can also set your shipping destination to wherever you fancy, to ensure you’re only searching retailers who will actually work where you are – this is GREAT, particularly for anything slightly niche or obscure.
  • The Carabiner Collection: I’ve never been particularly into climbing – possibly a shame, given I am all limbs and weigh about nine stone soaking wet, making me a prime physical candidate (apart from the whole ‘muscle tone of an elastic band’ thing) – and as such I have never personally developed any particular feelings about carabiners. Still, I imagine if you’re more of an experienced climber and have dangled from your fair share of rock faces you’ve probably developed a degree of affection for the little bits of metal who have kept you from plummeting to a pointy, crunch death – and so, presumably, have the people who maintain this site, er, ‘celebrating’ (can one really celebrate a carabiner? LET’S TRY!) the carabiner in all its glory. Sam Johnson, whose website this is, I fcuking SALUTE you and your dedication to/love for the carabiner, you are the sort of person on whom the web is basically built and we all thank you for your service.
  • Pn0gstr0m: A HORRIBLE name for what is a fun little game (from last week’s B3ta) – imagine Pong, but every time you or your opponent hit the ball, it splits into MORE BALLS, until you’re basically whacking a whole salvo of shots across the net and attempting to keep as many of them live as possible, racking up massive scores and collecting powerups that do interesting things to the balls – sending 10x the number back to your opponent, say, or equipping you with a laser that destroys a load in one fell swoop. This is less challenging than it at first looks, but it’s definitely a fun 15 minutes on a Friday (or Monday) afternoon.
  • WordSnake: Another B3ta link, this one – this is Snake, but with a gimmick when it comes to the controls and the mechanic. See how long it takes you to work out what it is (no, I’m not telling you, you’re a CLEVER PERSON, you can do it!).
  • Fcuksweeper: This needs a download, and, well, it’s a game called ‘Fcuksweeper’ so I’m not sure how many of you will make it past this bit – still, for anyone still reading, this is actually VERY FUN and very funny, and a lot sillier/weirder and significantly less ‘sexy’ than the name might suggest; there’s bodyhorror GALORE here, in an ‘odd rather than scary’ sense, and if you approach it as an interactive artwork rather than a ‘game’ per se then you will, I think, really enjoy it (or at least be pleasantly weirded out by the experience). Oh, and be aware that if you just want to play Minesweeper then, er, I’d probably stick with the original.
  • Chao Bing: This is BEAUTIFUL – a gorgeous experiment in lightly-interactive storytelling, with seven very small mini-’games’ (they’re games only in the loosest sense, think of them more as brief moments of interaction/contemplation) which come together to tell a small, personal story. From the creator’s description: “Chao Bing: A Read-Only Memory Experience is an interactive memoir in the style of a CD-ROM storybook game. Explore my childhood memories woven into a story about the ennui of adult life–all rendered in a 640 x 480 pixel resolution. Chao Bing is a game forever in its own making, writing, and rewriting. It’s a game, and also a game about the performative act of making a game.” I really, really like this – strongly recommend you giving it ten minutes of your time.
  • Probabilistic Noughts and Crosses: Yes, technically the url says ‘tic tac toe’ but THAT IS NOT WHAT THE GAME IS CALLED FFS. Ahem. This is a really smart little twist on the traditional gameplay – you play against the computer (or another human, should you have…friends?), with the twist being that each move you can make has a different success probability attached to it; if it ‘succeeds’, you place your ‘X’ as normal, if you ‘fail’ the space gets marked for your opponent, and if the outcome is neutral then the space remains unallocated – which obviously completely changes the way you play, where you look to move, and the flow of the game, as you can strategise in ways not possible in the original ruleset. There’s also quite a lot of interesting stuff in the background about ‘optimal’ game design, should you be the sort of maths mind who can get their head around all that stuff (I very much cannot). Per its creator, “in any given game of Probabilistic Tic-Tac-Toe you can do everything right and still lose (or do everything wrong and win.) However, the better player always rises to the top over time. These are characteristics that I find interesting about a lot of other games, and I thought they’d be fun to apply to an otherwise boring, solved game like tic-tac-toe. They’re also highly relevant to my life philosophy – that every outcome is effectively random, but our actions can often skew the odds in our favor. Bad breaks are inevitable, but good judgment is always rewarded (eventually, and given enough chances.)”
  • KittyToy: Would you like some cute pixelart cats to feed and generally horse around with in your browser? OF COURSE YOU WOULD! “Take care of and adopt stray kitties. Buy toys and decorations for your house and yard!” says the description, and, honestly, how could you resist? The autoplaying music is…somewhat grating to my ears, but mute the tab and keep this open FOREVER and you will always have a roomful of digital cats to pet and kiss and cuddle whenever things get hard. This is surprisingly deep (in a very shallow way) – there are various different toys and things that you can ‘buy’, and you can seemingly accumulate a near-infinite quantity of digital felines, which will be pleasing to those of you who have secretly harboured ambitions to own ALL OF THE CATS.
  • MoonDrop Isle: I only got a chance to spend  30m or so with this yesterday, so can’t tell you TOO much about it – but it’s interactive fiction, in the classic Zork style (“You are in a room. You see a laptop, and an empty mug of tea. You are tired and in your pants. Continue writing? There are no exits”, etc etc), and it’s a collection of multiple individual adventure games written by different IF specialists, all joined together into a shared experience set on an island which you, presumably, somehow have to escape or understand in some way. The puzzles I experienced in the first section were interesting but not maddening (and I say this as someone who really is a fcuking DREADFUL lateral thinker/problem solver), and I think you’ll enjoy this a lot (as long as you don’t mind reading, and no graphics, and having a typing-only interface).
  • Level Devil: Finally this week, one of the most evil browser games I have ever seen – honestly, this is diabolical and cruel and you will die over and over and over again. It won’t matter, though, because you only stay dead for half a second or so, and it’s all SO brutally cruel that you will have to laugh at the arbitrary unfairness of it all. Seriously, this is very fun indeed – if you happen to recall IWBTG, then this will ring a lot of pleasing bells.

By Irina Selaru

OUR LAST MUSICAL SELECTION THIS WEEK IS A MIX OF 80s-ISH SOUL AND LOUNGE-TYPE STUFF BY DJ KRUG WHICH IS SO SMOOTH AS TO BE PRACTICALLY-FRICTIONLESS! 

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

  • Chris Steele-Perkins: Just great photography. No gimmicks, simply excellent shots of people. Some of England, some from elsewhere, but all these shots are wonderful in their own way.

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • Nice To E-Meet You: A reader who shall remain nameless got in touch last week to tell me that the Tiny Awards had reminded them of an old Tumblr they made about a decade ago. They shared it with me, and so I am sharing it with you. WHY? WHY NOT!

LONG THINGS THAT ARE LONG!

  • Good Riddance To The Tories: This is, admittedly, LONG – it’s also very much ‘the story of the past 14 years in the UK’, which means that I’m sure many of you are inclined to skip it due to either the tedious parochialism or the fact that, well, it’s long and you lived through it. PLEASE DO NOT SKIP THIS PIECE! It is SUPERB – Tom Crewe writes in the London Review of Books about the past 14 years of Conservative government in the UK, outlining in increasingly-numbing detail all the different ways in which, for reasons of selfishness and short-sightedness and greed and cruelty and incompetence and idiot ideology and cronyism and and and and…all the different ways in which the people in charge have managed to variously fcuk the country over nearly a decade and a half. Seriously, even if you’re not English and you think ‘why should I care about your stupid island’s stupid inclination to politically self-harm?’, I can’t stress enough how STAGGERING it is to see everything laid out like this – it’s worth reading purely as an objective account of all the different, spectacular ways people can make bad, stupid, wrong decisions, and how exactly those decisions play out. If you are English, and you think that you can’t be bothered to rake over this all again, I strongly urge you to reconsider because a) this is very, very well written, and there’s a tone of barely-concealed fury and disgust throughout that I very much enjoyed, despite the civility and control of the prose; and b) you will honestly have forgotten about so much of this, and seeing it all laid out over a Curios-length essay is quite dizzying. Honestly, if you can read this an offer anything resembling a defence of the Conservative party after having done so then I want to hear it (also, YOU ARE BRAIN DAMAGED). In the giant Word Doc of links I maintain each week with which to feed the Curios beast, this was annotated with the simple, explanatory word ‘CNUTS’, which I think tells you all you need to know.
  • Silicon Valley and Universe 25: I am including this link not because I necessarily agree with it, but because I can see it getting a reasonable degree of traction online over the coming weeks and months and I think as such it’s worth being aware of its existence. Ted Gioia, who I have featured here quite a few times over the past few years, is a music writer who is polymathic enough to reasonably branch out to all sorts of other topics, and who has a personal interest in culture (and by extension the way it is impacted by tech, and how in turn that impacts society) – earlier this year he went megaviral with his essay about ‘art vs entertainment’, and I can imagine this one breaking containment too. This one is about Gioia’s loose theory that we’re effectively being tech-dulled into societal collapse (I am paraphrasing, but): “What would you do if AI took care of all your needs? Would you be happier? Would you be kinder and gentler? Would you love your neighbor more? Would you spend more time with family? Would you have a richer, more fulfilled life? Calhoun tried to answer that question by creating a utopia for mice, and watching how their society evolved when all their needs and desires were met. It didn’t turn out like he planned.” Basically this is all about how, fundamentally, a society in which the need to work or create or strive in any meaningful way will lead to depression and collapse (he even references anomie, a pet theory of mine, bless him) – and how BIG TECH is helping us along this path. This reads very much like ‘old man gets scared of the future’ with a significant dash of chemtrail-adjacent conspiracies (there’s a slide in here that feels like it is going to do NUMBERS in a certain corner of grandparent Facebook, for example), and I think there’s some slightly-dangerous scaremongering about ‘TECHNOLOGY AND SCREENS BAD!’ which really should have been edited out by someone (not to mention the tedious ‘higher pleasures vs lower pleasures’ sub-JSM schtick that this sort of argument always devolves into) – but, regardless of what I think of it, I can see this thinking gaining not-insignificant traction in normie (sorry) circles, so keep an eye out.
  • Human Capital vs Physical Capital: Thanks to Alex for sending this my way – I thought this article by Tom Forth, on why a relentless focus on ‘human capital’ (skills, basically) at the expense of physical capital (infrastructure, basically) might in fact have been a bad idea over the past couple of decades, and why, and what a change of emphasis towards the latter over the former might mean for the future development of the country. Taking as his starting point the comparative socioeconomic starting points of the UK and East Germany in 1990, Ford looks into why East Germany’s situation improved so much more drastically than the UK’s did – to quote, “North England certainly has a much higher intensity of graduates than East Germany. And again, if we trust international rankings, vastly better universities. And yet it is Denmark, the Netherlands, Germany and the rest of Northern Europe who are economically well ahead of North England and Britain as a whole. And it is East Germany that from a starting position well behind us has caught, overtaken, and is now pulling away economically from North England. They haven’t done this by reindustrialising either, but rather by beating us in a high value services world with a high value service economy. Why? I’ve long argued it’s because while North England was trying and failing to level up with a human capital approach, those places did things that worked better. Better transport, spending on research and development, and replacing central planning with local power.” Interesting, although depressing that it’s so much more thoughtful and evolved than literally anything I have read over the past month on ‘how to unfcuk the country at least a little bit’.
  • On Apple & AI: As a non-Apple person I couldn’t really give less of a fcuk about whether or not AI is coming to your overpriced fetish object; still, lots of peope DO care about Apple, and as such this week’s BIG AI NEWS is interesting from a cultural point of view as much as a commercial one – will THIS get everyone using LLMs every day? Well, no, not for a while, seeing as most of this will only be on the super-new models that only morons or obsessives or the VERY RICH will be getting anytime soon – but, equally, it’s quite possible that it’s this which will in three years see everyone comfortable with LLMs as the default interface for everything. Anyway, Ethan Mollick is on typically good form here, explaining some of the technical stuff about how the GPT/on-device stuff will work, and also the narrower, more directional approach that Apple seems to be taking about how to get people to use this (basically the difference between ‘this can do anything! What would you like it to do?’ and ‘this can do very specific things, like sending your mum a photo of Angie and Dave where they’re both smiling’).
  • Spreadsheet Assassins: Or, ‘Why SaaS is a cancer’ – I very much enjoyed this, about how the drive to turn literally everything into a ‘software as a service’ business has made everything worse (THANKS, MONEYCNUTS!). Matthew King writes in The Baffler about how the SaaS model is particularly attractive to investors (recurring revenue, low costs, potentially enormous margins!) and why it almost always ends up being worse for consumers than other models: “As one CEO of a content management platform recently put it: “The biggest incumbent in [business-to-business] SaaS is some spreadsheets and one additional headcount…Every SaaS application pitch ever (including ours): 1. Your data is in lots of places 2. So you use spreadsheets 3. We bring it all together 4. Profit.” Or, another CEO-turned-MAGA ghoul, who invests in dozens of whatever-management platforms: “Find a commonly used spreadsheet (eg cap tables) and turn it into a dashboard (eg Carta). Replace email attachments with workflows. Spreadsheets are the long tail of datasets that don’t have their own SaaS tool yet.” Why let a business-critical workflow exist in some generic document, easily shared across systems and possibly fulfilling every task requirement, when you could corral those actions into a gated domain, gussy up the UI to imply value or progress, and charge a monthly subscription for it?”
  • How Is TikTok Changing Voters?: Short answer – IT ISN’T! THIS IS A STUPID HEADLINE! Still, I thought it worth linking to this Vox piece about ‘politicsTok’, not because it was hugely-insightful but because it highlights what I personally think is wrong about the writing/thinking about politics and TikTok (certainly around the UK election). As I am sure I have bored on about before, the most interesting thing, to  my mind, about TikTok in the context of politics is its opacity – this piece makes blithe assumptions about ‘what political content is like on TikTok’, but doesn’t acknowledge that TALKING ABOUT IT AS A MONOLITH IS DUMB, and that noone’s experience is like anyone else’s, and that as such talking about ‘how it’s changing politics’ are talking guff because NOONE KNOWS WHAT ANYONE ELSE IS SEEING. What is TikTok changing? It’s ushering in an era in which it’s impossible to have any idea what anyone’s informational diet is, what they can reasonably be expected to think/know/believe, is my take. Is this good? No idea!
  • The Death of Koo: I featured Koo in Curios in 2022 – now here’s a piece in Rest of World about how ‘the Twitter of India’ has managed to fcuk up its meteoric rise by – SURPRISE! – a focus on insane growth above all else! This is an interesting read, not least because of the way in which it demonstrates that, regardless of market, the pursuit of investor-pleasing metrics do have a tendency to rather fcuk a company up. Your regular reminder that VC investment is, quite often, a fcuking dreadful idea and that, in many cases, VCs are rich morons in expensive downy gilets.
  • Shanghai Disneyland: I am personally always fascinated by the ways in which global cultural phenomena are interpreted at a local level – Disney’s pretty much a perfect case study for this sort of thing, being both globally ubiquitous and locally-granular (in Italy, for example, the Disney canon absolutely revolves around Donald Duck and his family, with Mickey very much a second-string character who noone really gives a fcuk about; Donald, by contrast, is a fully-fleshed-out, er, duck, with an extended family and a clearly-defined persona and world view (perennially furious, unlucky, lazy, broke) which is seen by lots of Italians as one of the better representations of the national character ever devised). This piece looks at Disney in China – it’s not fantastically-written, but I really enjoyed learning about the completely new character the corporation invented for the Chinese market and how its lack of meaningful backstory or character building actually worked in its favour because it wasn’t seen as a ‘foreign’ character and instead could just act as any empty vessel for whatever Chinese kids wanted to project on it. Culturally fascinating.
  • The Internet and the Amazon, Redux: YOu remember that piece last week about that tribe in the Amazon that got Starlink, right? OF COURSE YOU DO! Anyway, this is a followup/reply to that, by 404 Media, responding to the piece going viral-ish last week with a bunch of outlets effectively summarising it as ‘AMAZING TRIBESPEOPLE DEVELOP CRIPPLING INTERNET BONGO ADDICTION’ despite the original piece never actually saying that at all – it’s a really good piece of journalism which neatly skewers the assumptions that underpin those sorts of silly reaction pieces, but also the original NYT piece which, it turns out, was written in such a way to obfuscate the reality of the tribe’s life and the fact that they were well aware of the web, and how it worked, and what it was, and have in fact been using it occasionally for years. A really useful reminder that even ‘quality’ journalism is edited and editorialised and skewed and limited and NOT REALLY REAL.
  • Building Brat: CharlieXCX is very much HAVING A MOMENT – an artist who I can look at and go ‘yes, you are objectively interesting and probably doing Good Work’ while at the same time having little to no personal interest in. Her new album, Brat, came out this week (or last, or whenever) – this is a really interesting LONG investigation into the marketing around it, the CharlieXCX brand, and how the album has been promoted across the world and the web, and as a look at How To Do A Launch and How To Do CrossMedia Cultural Domination it is very useful indeed. Seriously, worth reading if you have anything to do with ‘promoting culture or even just vaguely attempting to glom onto it’.
  • Elon Musk Tweeted A Thing: Second 404 Media piece of the week, this is a very good essay lamenting the terrible state of journalism where Musk is concerned, specifically the dreadful habit significant swathes of the world’s media have fallen into whereby they feel compelled to write up every single fcuking brainfart that cnut has as though it were carved into a tablet and delivered to us from Mount Sinai. More of a lament than an article, possibly, but it’s a good lament and as someone who has to write about That Fcuking Man on occasion it’s one that I personally feel very strongly about.
  • The AFL Mullet Data Analysis: A NEAR-PERFECT PIECE OF DATA JOURNALISM! I can’t remember the context, but I found myself thinking last week that the mullet – the hairstyle, not the tasty piscine morsel – might be the greatest comeback of the past 100 years. Seriously, as a child who grew up in the 80s and 90s the idea that people might in the far-flung future of the 2020s decide ‘yes, that is the haircut that I want, and that which I think says positive and dare-I-say-it-sexual things about me!’ was impossible to countenance, and, honestly, I’m still part-convinced that it’s all an elaborate joke. Still, this is a SERIOUS INVESTIGATION by ABC in Australia, examining the hairstyles of the Australian Rules Football League to answer the following questions: “Are we seeing a throwback to the footy stars of the past or is today’s generation making the mullet their own? Does it secretly make for a better player? The ABC analysed the headshots and hairstyles of all AFL players in the 2024 season in search of some answers.” So, so good, not least because it’s such an obvious ‘we saw everything The Pudding has been doing and thought yes please’ piece of work.
  • What Is The Best Way To Cut An Onion?: NO, YOU ARE WRONG. It is in fact the way described in this article, in which famously-obsessive food-science guy Kenji Lopez-Alt, he of the ‘I’m going to make 316 hamburgers to work out the optimum degree of smash and salting’-type enquiry, sets to work to find out what the ACTUAL best way of chopping up an onion into very, very small pieces is. I was entertained by this, not least because of the insane overengineering of what is not, to be clear, a remotely-significant problem.
  • Iain (M) Banks: A retrospective on the novels of Iain Banks and Iain M Banks, two sides of the same authorial coin, which fairly concludes that the scifi effectively cannibalised the imagination of the non-scifi after a while, and that his non-scifi work sort-of peaked just before he got properly super-famous. One for the Banks fans, this – it was a lovely reminder of his writing and the canon of his work, and if you’re not familiar then OH MY GOD can I unreservedly recommend his first four or five non-scifi books and basically every single one of the Culture novels.
  • The Dinner Party Boom: GenZ loves dinner parties – who knew? Actually this doesn’t feel surprising – performative interest in food and cooking is very much a Thing at the moment, and noone’s got any money, and there’s a certain ‘IRL>Online’ fetishism still hanging over from post-Covid, and dating is a nightmare hellscape…yeah, the ingredients are there, this feels legit. Is anyone doing ‘limited number curated group dining experiences’ as a nightlife thing at the moment? Feels like they should be.
  • Girl Mossing: Look, I am including this not because I think it is a good article (I do not think it is) or because I think that the ‘trend’ it is describing is significant or even real (I do not). This is a piece about ‘Girl Mossing’ (no, really), described here as “lying on a forest floor, staring up at a leafy canopy or caressing moss…While it is challenging to pinpoint the origins and scope of this aesthetic movement, “girl mossing”, “girl rotting”, and related terms have seen significant growth on social media since around the middle of last year. The trend can be traced back to mid-2022, when journalist and influencer Daisy Alioto tweeted: “The girl boss is dead, long live the girl moss (lying on the floor of the forest and being absorbed back into nature).” ACTUALOL! HOW DID THIS GET COMMISSIONED?! No, the reason I am including it is that it made me think that, based on this, it must be possible to spin up a few fake UrbanDictionary entries and some Insta posts and through those get similar articles written on ‘GirlTossing – girls going out into nature and hurling large logs in the style of the Highland Games as a reaction to the tyranny of capitalism’, or ‘GirlFlossing – girls spending an inordinate amount of time on infradental hygiene as a reaction to the anthropocene’, or ‘Girlhossing – girls generally just horsing around in wholesome fashion in an impassioned critique of neoliberalism’. PLEASE MAKE IT HAPPEN.
  • AI Generated Nudes In Bio: A look at the coming future, in which there are Patreon accounts into which real people (men) deposit real money in order to, er, access bongo of AI-generated women – except it’s happening right now! Not much, true, but as the article points out there are actual people paying actual cash to have access to, and interactions with, an entirely machine-generated OnlyFans-type content creator. WHY?!?!?!?! From what I can tell from this article it’s not even as though this AI-generated material is particularly niche or fetishy – it just seems like fairly standard nudes, which begs the question..,why not just pay an actual person, if that’s what you’re into? WHY ARE YOU INTO THE FACT IT’S AI?!?!? This is dizzyingly psychologically odd.
  • Haidt, Redux: A second LRB link of the week, this time to the latest dissection of the Jonathan Haidt ‘Have Snartphones RUINED A GENERATION?’ polemic – this is another ‘no, Jonathan, it’s probably not that simple actually’ rebuttal, albeit a reasonanbly-sympathetic one, which does a good job of explaining why it is that saying ‘PHONES BAD’ possibly fails to take into account a lot of the other, very good, reasons why young people’s sense of general wellbeing appears to have taken something of a nosedive post-2010 (some of those other reasons: THE ECONOMY. THE ENVIRONMENT. THE LABOUR MARKET. GEOPOLITICS. THE GENERAL SENSE OF TOTAL UNCERTAINTY ABOUT THE NEXT 50 YEARS).
  • Professor Chips Visits England: This is…I want to use the word ‘perfectly quaint’, but that feels unfair. Cosy? Yes, but I sort of hate that term. It’s…comforting, I suppose, like a warm room and a cup of tea after a damp walk. It smells a bit of warm, wet wool, yes, but in a good way. This is a piece of writing by one Graeme Williams, a man who apparently runs an Instagram account dedicated to crisps called ‘Professor Chips’ (he is North American and so shall be forgiven) and who recently visited England to see an obscure band he’s a massive fan of, who were playing in a tiny venue in Hastings. This is just his account of his trip – it’s not hugely exciting, unless you count his occasional thoughts in English crisp varieties – but it’s…I don’t know, it’s inexplicably warm and comforting and just NICE, in a good-not-patronising way, just a really pleasing account of someone finding pleasure in LIFE and SIMPLE THINGS and, I don’t know, this spoke to me slightly in its (admittedly largely mundane) beauty.
  • Embarrassments in a Small Town: DW Mckinney writes about their experience of being a Black woman in a small town in the US, at an artist’s residence, and what it is like being Black in a very enclosed, very white space which doesn’t necessarily realise it is either of those things. Superb, controlled writing.
  • What I Learned From Getting Fired Six Times: This is great – on life and work and quitting and being forced to quit and fitting in and not fitting in and making a scene and leaving quietly and it not mattering either way except in the way it matters more than anything. Really, really good, this.
  • Infinite: Finally this week, an essay about being online and scrolling and how that feels and how it eventually stops feeling anything at all. Form AND function (you’ll see what I mean)!

By Jenny Holzer

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

Webcurios 07/06/24

Reading Time: 36 minutes

HELLO EVERYONE!

Ordinarily I use the bit at the top here for some p1ss-weak attempt at topical satire or an op-ed, but I hope you will forgive me this week for giving it over to some MINOR SELF-PROMOTION.

Kris and I are once again running The Tiny Awards in 2024! TELL THE WORLD! In case you have managed to somehow wipe the memory of last year’s edition from your minds, the Tiny Awards is our attempt to spotlight some of the brilliant, weird, heartfelt, curious, creative, poetic, beautiful, pointless websites that people all around the world make and which tend not to be surfaced by algorithmic feeds because they’re not FCUKING VIDEOS (have I mentioned how fcuked off I am about the ubiquity of video as the dominant medium of our age? I really am, you know).

As with last year, we’re running nominations for the next few weeks – so PLEASE submit sites you like, whether your own work or those of other people, because the more there are the better, and the better the final shortlist (decided upon by an ESTEEMED PANEL OF JUDGES from around the world), and one of these sites will win £500 and a SMALL HANDMADE TROPHY (and there’s another £300 prize for the best ‘multiplayer’ website too!).

Noone gets rich from this, there’s no desire to turn this into something massive, it’s just something we thought was a nice thing to do and we hope you do too. If you know communities that might find this interesting, or people who might like the idea, then please share it with them – you don’t HAVE to, obviously, but think of it as a small thankyou to me for, er, writing an overlong, self-indulgent newsletter that literally noone in the world ever asked for every Friday morning.

Ok, that’s the end of the self-indulgence, you can fcuk off and click the links now.

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and you want to tell everyone you know, don’t you? Yes you do.

By Edu Monteiro

WE START THIS WEEK WITH THE SUPERB NEW ALBUM BY MACHINE DRUM WHICH IS AN EXCELLENT COLLECTION OF HIPHOPDRUMNBASSBREAKSTYPESTUFF AND VERY MUCH WORTH YOUR TIME! 

THE SECTION WHICH REALLY WOULD LIKE YOU TO PLEASE TELL ANYONE WHO MIGHT CARE ABOUT THE TINY AWARDS BECAUSE THEY ARE A GOOD THING, PT.1:

  • Latens AI: I am putting this at the top of Curios partly because it’s an interesting idea, and partly because it caused my (admittedly old and increasingly-fcuked) laptop to start wheezing uncontrollably when it eventually loaded up, and as such I would strongly advise not attempting to experience this when you’re 32 tabs deep. ANYWAY, Latens is a (very, very alpha-y) attempt to let you create a sort of navigable landscape of…anything you can possibly imagine, via the medium of (OF COURSE) AI – when it eventually loads up it defaults to a slightly abstract ‘fairy lights floating in the evening sky’ sort of view, but by editing the copy in the input window you can get it to imagine anything you fancy – cityscapes or countryside vistas or terrible, ruined palaces of suppurating flesh, you get the idea. The slightly-mad thing is that you can then *move around inside* said imagined ‘landscapes’ – WASD lets you navigate in the now-classic FPS style, with the visuals sort of re-rendering around you as you move…look, to be clear, this really is only, at best, about 10% viable at present, but equally it feels sort-of tantalising, like a glimpse of a future that feels a tiny bit nearer than it did last week. If nothing else, with a bit more stability (and a very hefty processor behind it) I think this would make a genuinely amazing ‘IMMERSIVE ART EXPERIENCE’ if it was extended / projected across all six surfaces of a room.
  • The Data Poets: This is CHARMING! A project by Gaston Welisch, the Data Poets encourages visitors to upload an image of a place they hold dear, along with a few short details about where it is and why it’s special to them; the site will then generated a short piece of verse to accompany the picture, which poems are added to the on-site archive for other visitors to enjoy. This is all done by AI (image recognition and then LLM-ing the verse), and there are apparently plans to enable the uploading of audio to use sound as the inspiration for resulting verse…honestly, this is so so lovely, and there are two or three new posts a day, and, amazingly for machine-generated words, the poems are…not terrible (God knows how – Gaston, on the offchance that you happen to read this I would be fascinated to know the workflow here), and the whole site is just a pleasure to scroll through. If you’re wondering ‘hm, what sort of sites are the Tiny Awards hoping to highlight and reward?’ I would personally suggest ‘stuff very much like this’.
  • Genderswap FM: A site dedicated to cover versions – primarily, but not exclusively, ones in which the gender of the singer is swapped from the original. So, for example, various female vocalists covering Smells Like Teen Spirit, Darius Danesh (RIP) doing Britney (actually, going to have to link to that on the offchance there are people heer who have never experienced its majesty)…all of the classics, basically. This is built on the Spotify API, and you can search for songs by various modifiers like ‘songs that are more/less upbeat or energetic than the original’, and there’s an accompanying massive playlist to go along with the project, and in general this is brilliant and I am glad it exists.
  • A Quite Remarkable Example of How Good AI Music Stuff Is Right Now: Click the link, and, as the tweet asks of you, press play on the song and try and guess at what point it stops being the original composition and when the AI starts making it up. HARD, isn’t it? Or at least it was for me – in fairness to them, several of my friends did clock it rather more easily than I did, but I put that down to them being actually quite musical (the freaks) – and the general point is that if you CAN see the join, it’s because of a shift in compositional style rather than because the music suddenly becomes jarringly crap. It’s astonishing how quickly the music models have improved, and how competent this ‘audio inpainting’ (for want of a better term) has become, and I have a sneaking suspicion that use of this sort of tech is going to become commonplace without anyone really noticing.
  • AI SFX: Seeing as we’re doing AI audio, Elevenlabs has just released its ‘sound effects generation lab’, which is very, very fun indeed – basically it will spin up four clips of ANY sound effect you can think to ask for. Think of this as an infinite comedy soundboard (ok, fine, there are proper applications for it and I’m sure that if you’re making short animations or similar this is a godsend in terms of spinning up audio elements in no time at all) which you can use to provide HILARIOUS audio accompaniments to friends, loved ones or colleagues – just think, now EVERYONE in your life can have a personalised audio sting that you can deploy whenever you like, to add a pleasingly cinematic note to their existence in a way that definitely won’t be annoying at all. Seriously, this is QUITE magical and very run – I have just wasted a good three minutes of precious Curios writing time by messing around with ‘record scratches from an early-00s rap rock song’ and ‘a chorus of sad trombones’, but you can do better I’m sure. BONUS AUDIO GENERATION! Stable Diffusion just released Stable Audio, which is specifically designed for musicians and producers who want to train a model on their own work – you can basically use it to produce upto 47s of anything you like. Per the blurb, “Stable Audio Open allows anyone to generate up to 47 seconds of high-quality audio data from a simple text prompt. Its specialised training makes it ideal for creating drum beats, instrument riffs, ambient sounds, foley recordings and other audio samples for music production and sound design. A key benefit of this open source release is that users can fine-tune the model on their own custom audio data. For example, a drummer could fine-tune on samples of their own drum recordings to generate new beats.” So there, give it a go.
  • Engine: Describing itself as ‘a tiny gamemaker’, Engine is a tiny bit like V Buckenham’s ‘Downpour’ app except it’s, er, not an app, and it’s a lot simpler and more constrained in its style – BUT it’s a lovely canvas for anything you like. The homepage lets you either go into the game creator or experience the games made by others, and I recommend having a bit of an explore through the library of existing work in there as it’s the best way of getting a feel for what’s possible and how the engine works (if I have a criticism it’s that it’s not HUGELY well-explained). Basically each ‘game’ is a series of interconnected screens which can be navigated through in one of 4 directions, so effectively what your building as a designer is a ‘map’ of different canvases which the player can navigate through; the layout constrains the potential player movement, which in turn is used to create a narrative (linear or branching) for the player to experience or explore. Does that make any sense? I am genuinely unsure, but, well, just click and play and see what you think.
  • I Side With…: Are you, dear reader, one of the LUCKY people with the right to participate in the EXCITING DEMOCRATIC EXPERIENCE we in the UK are getting to enjoy on July 4th? Are you as yet uncertain as to which of the assorted collection of largely-mediocre parties should be the fortunate recipient of your SACRED BALLOT? Look, you and I both know that the only correct answer to that question is ‘whoever helps fcuk the incumbents the hardest, preferably with knives’, but if you’d like to do a PROPER EXPLORATION of your political beliefs and preferences, and have those beliefs and preferences mapped onto one of the actual voting options available to you, then you might enjoy this site – answer a bunch of questions on policy and social issues and have them cross-referenced with the positions held by each of the main parties (and some of the smaller ones to) in order to see who, in theory at least, best fits your ideological leanings. I did this and got told I ought to vote for Sinn Fein, which on the one hand is tricky based on my living in London but which on the other felt vaguely appropriate as a (very, very lapsed) Catholic – still, you might find it an illuminating exercise (and a great way of starting arguments with your partner, quite possibly). Oh, and you might also want to sign up to the Swap My Vote project, should you really want to commit to the whole ‘let’s grind the Conservative party up into the smallest parts possible in the hope it will never, ever be able to reconstitute itself into government ever again’ bit. In general, if you’re interested in keeping an eye on digital stuff being built around the election (campaigning, activism, information) then you could do worse than bookmarking the UK Election Tech Handbook being maintained by the nice people at Newspeak House – it is a very useful resource indeed.
  • Super Internet World: I really haven’t got the faintest idea what this is or why it exists, or why the fcuk there’s an option to ‘connect my wallet’…but, maybe, it’s a sort of navigable art gallery of NFT art, with each room being based on a different work? Maybe? Anyway, you can move through the space in classic FPS fashion, look around with your mouse, and generally get a sense of overwhelming colour saturation and confusion as you navigate from room to room, through increasingly-bright spaces which mostly look as though they’ve been designed by kids who’ve maybe been left alone with the Haribo for a little too long. This is quite the thing, thanks to Pietro for the tip.
  • Thistle Gulch: After last week’s introduction of that AI-generated TV shows project (this one, ffs, HOW QUICKLY YOU FORGET), this is one of the OTHER projects from the same studio. Thistle Gulch is, per their blurb, “ Fable Studio’s  first Multi-Agent Gym Environment or “MAGE”. This platform isn’t a game; it’s a groundbreaking tool that merges the art of storytelling with the latest advancements in artificial intelligence. It’s the same Simulation that powered our SAGA release, an open-source tool for agents to make decisions in such worlds.” This is a *bit* hard to explain, but let me try. Thistle Gulch is a stereotypical Western town – it has a set layout and certain characters that inhabit that environment, and you as the ‘director’ can set up ‘stories’ by giving said characters motivations and goals; the conflict between different characters goals and motivations are what create ‘emergent narratives’. The fascinating bit is how this then plays out – characters will act autonomously based on said goals/motivations, but will at certain points be faced with choices to determine their next action – these choices are worked out by the AI, and the director can determine which choice each character makes and hence how the action continues to play out. Which, honestly, is fcuking insane if you stop to think about it – and which, obviously, will at this stage be janky as all fcuk and won’t produce anything decent. BUT! It’s worth clicking through and watching the short explainer video, because  the potential here feels astonishing – I am once again, for what is possibly the millionth time ever in Curios, mention ‘Little Computer People’ and how close we are to FINALLY making it a reality (also, for those of you who buy into the whole Muskian stoner ‘WE COULD BE LIVING IN A SIMULATION, MAN, WATCHED OVER BY OMNISCIENT BEINGS WHO SECRETLY MANIPULATE OUR ENVIRONMENT FOR THEIR OWN INSCRUTABLE ENDS!’ then WOW is this going to spin you out).
  • STORM: Another slightly mind-blowing AI experiment, this time from Stanford University – this is basically an autonomous researcher, built on an LLM, explained thusly: “Under a context of abundance, a significant disparity exists between the vast amounts of accessible information and what an individual can realistically assimilate. While large language models (LLMs) exhibit impressive generation abilities, they do not directly address this issue and even worsen the situation due to more texts produced. This research project explores building a knowledge curation agent that can proactively research a topic, organize the information, and present the most pertinent insights in a reader-friendly way.” So, basically, you tell this what you want it to research and it…does it. Or rather, it did when I checked earlier in the week – they have paused new article generation as there’s going to be an update to the code, but you can sign up to be notified when it’s live again, and in the meantime you can see the outputs other people have generated – honestly, this is…quite astonishing. Effectively this generates topline Wikipedia entries about anything you ask it to, with citations for its sources and it’s…pretty good? I mean, it’s a bit superficial, and can be repetitive, but, equally, as a first pass at topline research it is 100% as good as what you’d get if you asked a mediocre colleague to do it for you. I can’t help but look at this and have Some Worries about what this is going to do (again) to online content, or to academia, but, well, it seems we’re just ploughing on with this stuff regardless, so, er, crack on! Interestingly, AI search engine Perplexity is doing something similar – it’s now offering the ability to create webpages from any search you do with it, effectively spinning up a host of (again) Wikipedia-ish entries in seconds. I have…questions about this (how long do the Pages exist? Are they searchable? How will Google treat them?, but if you’re curious as to what these will look like then you can take a look at an example here.
  • Sylathas World: The personal website of digital artist Sylathas, which is designed to look and behave a little like Myst – you navigate using the arrows on the bottom of the screen, and while the world you move through is small, it’s BEAUTIFULLY designed and very atmospheric, and the commitment to the bit here is admirable. The work’s interesting too – in fact, I featured a video they worked on in Curios a few months back – and there’s some rather moving writing about their struggles with gender identity buried in there too which is worth reading if you have a moment. I rather love this, and I would like more sites to basically use ‘videogames from the early-to-mid-90s’ as their design inspiration please thankyou.
  • Zigsam: What are the worst cigarettes you’ve ever smoked? Personally I don’t think anything will ever top Ducados, a tab so utterly vile that having one first thing in the morning necessitated a swift return to bed via a short-but-unavoidable bathroom stop to vomit ferociously, but this website made me think that there are some pretty devilish-looking contenders out there in the world. Zigsam is a website dedicated to the MAJESTY OF THE FAG (in the English sense, for clarity) – it contains photos of over 35000 different brands from around the world, which is frankly MENTAL and is a degree of dedication I can only marvel at. Particular props to Russia, which seemingly has over 3000(!!!!!) different tab types documented here, but there is SO MUCH wonderful (terrible) design stored in these records, as well as images of cigarette cards and general assorted ephemera – you can practically smell the stale smoke and imagine the yellowing walls.
  • The IKEA Coworker: Fair play to IKEA for this stunt – I have seen this story EVERYWHERE this week, but in case you haven’t…IKEA announced that it’s recruiting for 10 new roles, which will be ‘jobs’ in the IKEA-branded experience in Roblox – so you’ll be, for example, helping people buy IKEA Roblox furnishings, or, er, serving them digital meatballs in the digital IKEA cafe. What does this show – does it show that the future of work is humans-behind-avatars, helping users navigate THE METAVERSE? Well…maybe, although I would be fcuking amazed if that sort of ‘helper’ role doesn’t get AI’d to fcukery due to the relative economics of paying people vs running a model. What this DEFINITELY DOES show is that there is literally no spin on the now-infamous ‘best job in the world!’ PR stunt that won’t work  – seriously, I have NEVER seen one of these that doesn’t get coverage and links, which just goes to show that there’s no real point ever trying to be original because, honestly, why bother when this sort of crap just *delivers*? £100 says that the ‘jobs’ being offered here are not full-time, permanent contracts, put it that way.
  • The TransferScope: A FUN, HACKED-TOGETHER AI TOY! I really like this – you have to click the link to properly understand it (hm, perhaps I shouldn’t admit failure before even attempting to explain…but, on the other hand, I know my limitations), but basically this is a device that lets you do style transfers to any image you capture, from any image you capture. So, for example, look at a tortoiseshell cat through the viewfinder and it can ‘learn’ the visual style of said cat; if you then look at your naked boyfriend reclining on the sofa (for example), it can then apply said tortoiseshell cat’s style to said naked boyfriend. I can’t stress enough how much SURPRISE AND DELIGHT potential there is with this stuff – can you imagine taking this and making it BIG and installing it somewhere? Go on, someone, do something FUN for a change rather than just paying someone to make more fcuking videos.
  • Pride Flags: ALL OF THE PRIDE FLAGS (there are, er, LOTS) and what they mean, and the history behind them – I am including this partly as it’s interesting, but partly because some of these are BRILLIANT – I’m a particular fan of the Lesbian Feminism Pride Flag, which goes very hard indeed, but the Pocket Gender flag is also a cracking bit of design.

This is from Twitter in 2017. 2017!!! Do you ever think about the universe and how altered it might be if one single event had gone differently? I often dream of a world in which that plane crash had been fatal.  

A SURPRISINGLY-EXCELLENT PLAYLIST OF MODERN GERMAN MUSIC, NOW (SORRY, GERMANS, BUT ALSO, WELL, YOU UNDERSTAND, RIGHT?), EXPERTLY COMPILED BY GERMANOPHILE FORMER EDITOR PAUL! 

THE SECTION WHICH REALLY WOULD LIKE YOU TO PLEASE TELL ANYONE WHO MIGHT CARE ABOUT THE TINY AWARDS BECAUSE THEY ARE A GOOD THING, PT.2:        

  • Space Explorer: This is SO CUTE! Steve Gardner has made a little website that explains how you can, er, make a small website where the interface is a spaceship flying around an interacting with various on-page elements – so you can move the ship around the page, which explains how various things work (objects, movement, inertia, interactivity, etc) and then gives you the opportunity to remix the page or to make your own – this is a LOVELY piece of interactive tutorialising (no, it IS a word, fcuk you) and personally I would like to see more websites that have this sort of (entirely pointless and somewhat-overengineered interface). Just like…
  • Dolce Activation: A LUXURY WEBSITE! With a truly appalling url – seriously, Dom and Stef, could you not have bought a better domain? Still, I forgive them because while the site itself is dull as fcukery the style and interface is GORGEOUS – you navigate by moving a little Vespa around a map of Rome, with your goal being to find a selection of monuments which in turn let you access EXCITING PRODUCT INFORMATION about various bits of D&G tat. To be clear, this is an objectively terrible way to experience what is, at heart, a very content-lite website – it’s slow, inefficient and you will inevitably be a bit disappointed by what you eventually get served when you ‘uncover the secrets’. BUT! The art style is gorgeous – sort of cel-shaded, which you don’t see often enough in webdesign if you ask me – and YOU ARE DRIVING A TINY VESPA AROUND ROME!!! Oh, by the way, if you have the time I also recommend looking at the playlists that they have included here to publicise the perfumes they’re flogging, which I think are the most appallingly-generic attempts at ‘musical curation’ I have ever seen and which made me actually lol at the thought of there being some sort of ‘cool consultant’ behind the decision to fill a mix with the EDGY SOUNDS of, er, Drake and Jack Harlow and Skrillex.
  • TrippyTunesTV: Ooh, this is cool – a 24/7 stream of dance music of various kinds (when I’ve logged on this week at various points it’s been psytrance –  look, I LIKE IT – and breakbeat and at the time of writing it’s playing d’n’b) with an accompanying visualiser that’s all generated and animated by AI. Not sure of what the workflow is here, but the description on the page says: “this is the output of my computer god image creator – it uses much gpu (a whole 4090) and much cpu (a whole 14900ks) to make weird pictures somewhat synchronized to the musical entertainment to serve as a demonstration of the powers of our future ai overlords.” This is…weirdly hypnotic, I have to say – the machine occasionally gets ‘stuck’ in odd loops of ‘thought’ (not thought), and it’s fascinating seeing it move from image style to image style and interpolate between them, and I think this would look ace on a big screen.
  • Het Archief: Speaking of dance music and clubbing, this is incredible and a proper slice of musicultural history (well, Dutch musicultural history, at least). De School was a space in Amsterdam which for 8 years was a sort of arts and cultural centre that hosted artists, musicians, club nights and collectives, and which shut in January this year – this website is a frankly astonishing archive of audio from that period, capturing sets and club nights from across genres over the entirety of 2016-24. “On January 15, 2024, De School closed its doors for the very last time. From a first Friday night in 2016 until the 66-hour grand finale, Amsterdam’s former technical school functioned as an ever-evolving space, with at its core the steadfast pulse of a club. Infused with new life, the labyrinthian building—lest we forget: derelict classrooms, pitch-black basement, blossom-kissed garden, checkered cubicles, highway-like hallways—became a temporary home for the interlocked wonder of music, art, and culture. A blueprint for countless special people to forge countless special days, nights, and the blur beyond time. Het Archief, which you have just entered, translates eight years of club history into an expansive sound archive. Eight years of recordings are indexed, escape the walls, and finally see the light of day. Het Archief is a time capsule for the present and future, and an open-ended zone to remember through sound.” Seriously, if you are into techno this is a fcuking MOTHERLODE – and even if you’re not, there is SO MUCH in here to explore and listen to.
  • Stompers: Over the years I’ve featured a variety of ‘gamified fitness’-type apps, none of which have ever achieved the same degree of success or profile as the OG version Zombies Run! – Stompers is another in similar vein, but which feels a but more fun and silly than some of the previous iterations, a bit like a sort of ‘Mariokart with your mates, but for step counts’ – basically you create an avatar and compete in daily step goal challenges with your friends…but there are powerups! And debuffs! And it all feels sort of fun and dumb and playful, which might make it the sort of thing that’s fun to do with your family or groupchat. Or not – I’m basically fcuked if I understand anything about the compulsion to exercise, if I’m entirely honest with you.
  • Alt Text Selfies: This is rather beautiful and occasionally poignant and a tiny bit sad. A series of paragraph-length self-descriptions, designed to invoke the alt-text one might apply to a photograph, the idea being to create a non-visual representation of the self: “For us, an alt text selfie is any written self-portrait. This project takes a well-known practice—the selfie—and approaches it through a disability lens. Selfies and self-descriptions are often visually focused, but to us, an alt text selfie doesn’t need to center visual presentation or a literal description of an image. Alt text selfies might focus on feelings, smells, tastes, sounds, emotions, textures, or some combination. Alt text selfies can be any length, but for this project, we focused on writing in the one-sentence to one-paragraph range…Selfies and self-descriptions are often visually focused, but, to us, an alt text selfie doesn’t need to center around visuals, or literally describe an image. As the selfies gathered on this website exemplify, alt text selfies can blend smell, taste, touch, sound, and more. At their core, alt text selfies are an access practice, tools for connecting across sensory experiences and distance.” Do take a moment to read through a selection of the pieces here – they’re all bitesized, and some of them are quite arrestingly beautiful.
  • Shade Map: I think I’ve featured something similar in Curios a few years back, but the site wasn’t as nice as this one – ShadeMap does exactly what the title suggests, which is, er, show you where the shade will fall, anywhere in the world, at any given time of day. Which, honestly, is fcuking mental when you think about it. You can select the date and time at the bottom of the page, which means you can use this for all sorts of useful purposes – planning walks in such a way as to ensure you’ll be in the sunshine more often than not, or conversely for ensuring that you’re not exposed to the TERRIFYING BURNING ORB more than you absolutely have to be (don’t worry, goths, I see you), or for planning any outdoor/experiential thing which might benefit from sun or shade…in fact it feels like there’s probably some quite fun outdoor installation work you could do with this, playing with where shadows and light fall at different times of day, which I would quite like one of you who’s significantly more artistically and creatively inclined than I am to think about some more, please.
  • MemoryLane: To be clear, this is a grift and a BAD PRODUCT and I do not endorse it at all – but it feels like there’s an idea here that someone else (a charity, for example) could improve significantly. MemoryLane is a ‘tell The Machine your memories and it will turn them into a book which we will then print for you’ service, except it’s run as a £20 a month subscription service which makes no sense at all except from the point of view of parting gullible people with their money – that said, I think there’s something quite nice about the concept, and with a bit more care (and a significantly-less-aggressive pricing model) and maybe the ability to speak to The Machine rather than just type, this could be quite a cool service for, say, Age UK, or the Alzheimer’s Society.
  • Sonicity: Various cities from around the world, interpreted as audio based on specific information about them (temperature, elevation, population, etc) – this is a standard ‘convert data to sounds!’ project, but I quite like the way it results in each of the cities having quite a distinct audio profile, which in itself sounds like a CLEVER CREATIVE IDEA for certain types of brand, should you be in the market for such a thing. London sounds sh1t, I am sad to say – POOR LONDON.
  • MusicLawyerAI: This seems like…a legitimately good use of AI! With no apparent downsides! Apart, of course, from the possibility that it might give you bullsh1t information (or, perhaps, that it’s an early death-knell for a particular type of lawyering – although your opinion of whether or not that is in fact A Bad Thing will obviously depend on the degree to which you think that commercial lawyers are a category deserving of preservation – I am keeping my own counsel on this one). MusicLawyer lets you plug in your contract, at which point the AI will analyse it and, apparently, tell you exactly how it’s fcuking you, to five decimal places – but, obviously, I don’t have any music contracts to hand to test it with, and even if I did I’m no lawyer and so would have no idea whether The Machine was in fact offering a decent analysis or whether it was just making sh1t up left right and centre – which, I suppose, is the problem. Still, it’s free, and I would be intrigued to hear from anyone who tries it about whether it actually seems to deliver the goods.
  • Life In Jars: When I was a kid, someone I was at school with (no, really – this isn’t one of those euphemistic anecdotes where ACTUALLY IT WAS ME; I want to stress this very much WASN’T me, for the avoidance of doubt) decided to see what would happen if they left a jar of their own p1ss in a cupboard in one of the history classes over what turned out to be an unusually hot summer – turns out what happens is that it turns into a very weird black sludge and causes not-inconsiderable consternation in the member of staff who opens it curiously come September. Which is by way of only-slightly-tenuous introduction to this YouTube channel, in which a bloke looks at what happens when you leave water in jars for a while and then look at it under a microscope. SO MUCH LIFE! SO MUCH TEEMING, TINY LIFE! This is brilliant YouTubing – educational, entertaining, a tiny bit weird/gross…also, it’s not just ‘stuff in jars’, there’s a lot of other nature/science content on the channel which is very much worth an explore. Still, though, STUFF IN JARS!
  • Museum Artefacts in Fortnite: I really like this – this is a set of Twitter videos showing how various museums are experimenting with integrating 3d scans of elements from their collections into Fortnite maps, as a light-touch way of introducing, for example, ACTUAL DINOSAUR SKELETONS to kids as a natural part of the in-game experience (there’s one vid in here which shows a player mining in-game, and as they do so uncovering a scan of a real-life triceratops skeleton which is a perfect example). This just struck me as a really smart way of ‘meeting your audience where they are’, and of using digitised collections in creative fashion.
  • Cartwheel: This feels like a useful thing for any of you into 3d animation – Cartwheel is an AI-enabled platform that’s designed to let you create first pass animations to any character you feed it through text prompting. So, for example, you upload your character created in Blender or whatever, and then tell the software to ‘make it do a cartwheel’ and HEY PRESTO, there it goes. Or at least it does in theory – I imagine it’s probably not QUITE that simple, and that the results probably don’t always look like the ones on the homepage – but, even if it’s not quite as slick as they want you to believe, this strikes me as something worth playing with for anyone interested in animating characters (also, I really, really hope that they’ve not been rigorous with the guardrailing because dear God can I think of some potentially-wonderful if not-entirely-tasteful prompts I would like to try out).
  • Fractal Life: You know Conway’s Life simulation, right? The gliders, all that sort of jazz? Well this is that, but infinite and fractal and DEAR GOD this messed with my head something chronic. Click the link and then scroll out…and keep scrolling…this gave me proper, dizzying, ‘we are just specks in a petri dish’ insignificance vertigo, and I hope it does the same to you because, frankly, I see no reason I should suffer alone.
  • Classic Computer Brochures: This very much does what you’d expect it to based on the title – “Welcome to my personal collection of vintage brochures”, says the welcome banner, and that is EXACTLY what you get. Obviously if you’re the sort of person who gets excited at the prospect of delving into the instructional documentation for the APPLE II then, well, ENJOY, but even if you’re not quite *that* much of an IT enthusiast there’s something genuinely interesting about the way in which this takes you through the history of brand and marketing in the personal computer space, how the devices were presented and sold and the differing roles they were sold as occupying in our lives.
  • Nightmare Kart: AN ACTUAL, PROPER, FULL VIDEOGAME WHICH YOU HAVE TO DOWNLOAD BUT WHICH IS AVAILABLE ON A ‘PAY WHAT YOU WANT MODEL’! This is BRILLIANT, honestly – can you imagine a version of MarioKart, released for the PS One, and themed around the beloved FromSoft game Bloodborne? Can you? IMAGINE NO MORE FOR IT IS HERE! Seriously, this is really, really fun and is 100% worth downloading and chucking the devs a few quid – the courses are great, the references to the Bloodborne (never named, for obvious legal reasons) are integrated beautifully, and overall it is just a Good, Fun Time for All the Family – highly recommended, this one.
  • Tiny Glade: Another game you actually have to download – but it’s only a demo, and it’s free, and, honestly, if you liked Townscaper you will absolutely adore this – you just make a beautiful little woodland dwelling, basically, all tilt-shifted and SUPER CUTE, and, honestly, it’s a genuinely relaxing little toy which I once again recommend unreservedly.
  • Jasbiac: Guess the genre of three albums based on their cover art – this is a fun daily quiz to add to the rotation, should you be in the market for yet ANOTHER timewaster to add to your pre-work routine.
  • TILT: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAH this is infuriating but incredibly addictive, a tiny little bullet-hell type game where you simply have to survive the spinning and swirling death blobs long enough to collect a set number of…things in order to ascend to the next level. This is very, very hard, and quite brain-mangly if, like me, you have the approximate spatial awareness and coordination of a piece of Gouda, but bitesize enough that it doesn’t get frustrating so much as compellingly ‘I CAN DO THIS’-y.
  • Word Up: Last in this week’s selection of games is this mobile-only variant on Scrabble, where you have to score a set number of points each level – inbetween levels you can spend the points you’ve earned on tweaks and powerups that change the gameplay in interesting and creative ways, maybe instituting a minimum word length for a score to register, say, or banning abstract nouns (I am making these up, but you get the gist). This is a LOT of fun (if you’re a wordcel like me) and one I very much recommend giving a go.

By Coco Capitan

WE CLOSE OUT THE MUSIC THIS WEEK WITH THIS SURPRISINGLY-EXCELLENT MIXTAPE COMBINING VARIOUS GRIME TRACKS WITH OLD TV THEMES WHICH I KNOW SOUNDS FCUKING TERRIBLE BUT WHICH I PROMISE YOU IS GENUINELY GREAT! 

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

  • Little Guy Mart: This is, per the description, “a blog of cute little guys sourced from eBay listings”. They are indeed cute little guys!

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • Mitch Sea: Mitch Sea is a sculptor, and this feed shares his works, and works in progress – I personally find some of the musculature a bit fussy for my tastes (ffs Matt you fcuking ponce!), but the talent here is undeniable and it’s rare to see this sort of stuff on Insta (in my experience, at least).
  • NTFLX & Drill: You might have seen some of these doing the rounds this week on Twitter under the guise of ‘AI Music’ – it’s not AI, though. Per the artist bio, “One man making beats and animations based on Film/TV characters. The only AI is the voice change.” Regardless, this is another example of how amazing the current tech stack is in terms of what you can pull together in your bedroom – I don’t personally find ‘raps about characters from Harry Potter’ compelling in any way, but there’s no denying the skill here; there is something sort-of magical about the insane creative toolbox that’s now available to anyone with the wherewithal to learn how to open and use it.

LONG THINGS THAT ARE LONG!

  • Consequence-Free Policy: Stephen Bush writes in the FT about the peculiar way in which policy announcements in the election so far have been largely divorced from reality – the Conservatives can say any old sh1t because they’re unlikely to get in and therefore to have to make their promises reality; ditto the Liberal Democrats, whose (laudable!) stated aim to offer ‘free adult care for everyone’ in the UK is literally uncostable, but, hey, fcukit because they’re never getting anywhere near power…as for Labour, as Bush points out, there’s a fundamental contradiction in the juxtaposition of many of the policy proposals and the cast-iron ‘promise’ not to raise any taxes for anyone which suggests that at least one of the two sets of ‘commitments’ is going to have to give…Perhaps that’s why it’s so hard to get in any way excited about this contest, because it feels that it’s operating on a plane that is only tangentially connected to the day-to-day reality of people’s lives or indeed to the reality of government.
  • Dear God The Debate Was Miserable: Ok, not the technical title of this piece in the LRB, but very much the theme – I watched the second half of it after coming back from the theatre and spent the majority of the time watching from between my fingers. There was a point towards the end where Sunak started effectively *whinging*, and I realised that it’s entirely possible that this electoral cycle will never end, that we’ll be trapped in an endless purgatory of meaningless promises and vacuous non-statements and blunt attack lines and made-up figures DEAR FCUKING CHRIST I WANT IT OVER. Anyway, this is a good–if-miserable piece of analysis by James Butler, a flavour of which you can see here: “Other miserable moments followed: an Atlanticist fug descended in eulogies for the special relationship. Both men nearly broke out in a military tattoo. The debate on migration and small boats was especially noxious, with Starmer repeating his line that Sunak is the ‘most liberal’ prime minister on immigration and asserting his openness to third-country processing. He rounded it off with a bid to be considered the true heir of Churchill. What would the debate have looked like to someone with no knowledge of the political history and affiliations of the people in front of them? There were differences: one man likes to talk about ‘the workforce’ more, the other ‘freedom’, which mostly seems to be a euphemism for not paying taxes. Yet a Martian viewer might have been more struck by how often their answers converged, and the strangeness of a political system that produces such similarity between putative adversaries.” If you want more of this sort of thing, Sam Leith is typically good in his analysis – I particularly enjoyed his observation that Starmer appeared to be implying that he’d personally taken down terrorists WITH HIS BARE HANDS rather than the more prosaic reality of ‘doing the paperwork’.
  • Consciousness, Machines and Moral Status: An ACTUAL ACADEMIC PAPER, and a philosophy one to boot – but no, wait, come back! I promise, this is very much on the ‘accessible’ end of the scale (I mean, look, I haven’t had to think properly about anything for about 22 years and I was able to follow it without too much difficulty, so I am sure you will be fine) and is super-interesting on the question of ‘at what point might we begin to grant ‘conscious’ status to machines, and what even IS consciousness anyway?’ – this is by Henry Shevlin, a professor at Cambridge, and it looks at (some of) the various ways in which philosophers currently believe you can define consciousness, and how these might need to be tweaked in order to meaningfully apply that question to machine intelligences. This is not, to be clear, attempting to argue that we’re there yet (or even that we’re nearly there), more that it’s important to think about these things because they will, one day, become quite materially important (and when they do, they will do so QUICKLY). Here’s the opening – honestly, this really is SO interesting and worth putting the effort into, imho: “The idea that machines might be endowed with consciousness and even come to have moral status has long been a target for speculation in philosophical thought experiments and science fiction. In the wake of extremely rapid progress in machine learning over the last decade, frontier artificial systems display increasingly sophisticated linguistic and even cognitive competencies. Yet despite the flurry of interest and effort, the science of consciousness is still, if not quite in its infancy, then in its troubled adolescence. Even as policymakers and the public are increasingly inclined to look to expert opinion on questions of machine minds, no consensus has been forthcoming.” See? FASCINATING!
  • Text and Meaning and AI: This is a blogpost by Matt Webb which is technically about something specific, but which ends up being SUCH a good explanation of how LLMs ‘do’ words and meaning, and effectively of how latent space works – I firmly believe that getting your head around the concept of latent space is the key to getting your head around ‘what you can do with this generation of AI, and what you probably can’t, and by extension some fun and creative applications of the tech’, and this is I think the best guide to ‘what it’s all about’ that I have yet read, and pleasingly non-technical to boot. Very much worth reading, this.
  • Doing Stuff With AI: Ethan Mollick is BACK, with another excellent post about ‘how to work with AI RIGHT NOW’ – again, this is a simple, comprehensible and intensely-practical overview of ‘things that the machine is good at as of Summer 2024’, from watching and analysing videos to writing code and everything inbetween.
  • Prebunking Misinfo: On how the US and European Union are attempting to get ahead of potential digital misinformation campaigns in forthcoming elections by doing some educative work ahead of time – an interesting approach, particularly considering the weirdly-ostrich-like approach to the issue seemingly taken by the Electoral Commission and others in the UK in the runup to our own day at the ballotbox.
  • Homecooked Software: This is wonderful, and genuinely hopeful and positive in a way I know a lot of what I share here, well, isn’t. A talk given by Maggie Appleton at a recent conference in Berlin, all about how she believes that generative AI is going to usher in a whole new era of small websites and digital projects and CREATIVITY AND WONDER, thanks in no small part to the barrier to creation being lowered to basically ground level – after all, if The Machine can spin you up a basic website based on a few text prompts and maybe a shonky sketch of the homepage UI, what’s to stop you from creating (for example) the online tribute to 80s TV classic ‘Manimal’ that the web has always needed? NOTHING! This made me very happy – a genuinely positive and hopeful bit of thinking, which also chimes rather nicely with the launch of the Tiny Awards this week; after all, if anyone can make a tiny website with minimal effort and little-to-no skill required, why shouldn’t EVERYONE make tiny websites about whatever the like? GALAXIES OF TINY WEBSITES!
  • Research As Leisure Activity: This spoke to me QUITE INTENSELY – Celine Nguyen writes about people who, like her, find pleasure in finding out about stuff, reading and learning and exploring a topic for no other purpose than the joy of so doing – as she puts it, “The idea of research as leisure activity has stayed with me because it seems to describe a kind of intellectual inquiry that comes from idiosyncratic passion and interest. It’s not about the formal credentials. It’s fundamentally about play. It seems to describe a life where it’s just fun to be reading, learning, writing, and collaborating on ideas.” While I’m obviously a miserable loner and have minimal desire to ever collaborate on anything, in the main, the rest of it is basically Curios to a tee – there’s no way in hell I could, or would want to, do this if I didn’t find the specific act of ‘reading the whole of the internet and deciding what I want to include in the next issue’ to be, well, FUN (and I appreciate that the very idea of ‘spending a significant proportion of your day reading random stuff on the internet that may or may not be good or interesting’ being enjoyable will make me sound like a genuinely damaged person to many of you; I get that, I really do, but, equally, LIKE YOU’RE FCUKING PERFECT STOP JUDGING ME YOU CNUTS), and it was nice to read something that basically says ‘you are not alone. You are possibly quite odd, fine, but you are not alone’.
  • We’re Doing Curation Again, It Seems: The New Yorker profiles ‘the new generation of cultural curators’, which is seemingly one of those things that’s going to come around every 5-6 years or so, or every time there’s a big platform/format shift; we had the whole ‘curators are the new creators!’ argument in around 2010, I recall, with bloggers in the titular role; we had it again in the mid-10s with Insta the focus, and now we’re doing it again with TikTok and newsletters – Jesus, I remember writing social media strategies (lol! Dear God, can you *imagine*?) which had ‘CURATOR’ right at the heart of the ‘purpose’ bit of it way back in 2008 or so. Anyway, I’m possibly being salty because for some reason the author doesn’t appear to have heard of Curios, the RUBE – interestingly (for me, not for you) I was actually approached by an NYT journalist last year asking to speak to me about ‘interesting website curation’; they then subsequently failed to reply to my reply, so fcuk the Grey Lady, basically, but should any journalists be reading this and want to chat to someone about how INCREDIBLY VITAL it is that people ‘collect interesting links’ then, well, I AM AVAILABLE.
  • The Google Leak: This is VERY ‘inside baseball for SEO’, but it’s interesting nonetheless – you might have heard that a massive bunch of documents from Google got leaked recently, offering a rare insight into How Search Works; the various SEO heads out there are still attempting work out What It All Means, but there’s an overview of initial findings here. In general, though, I do slightly wonder how relevant any of this stuff is going to be in a year or so, because, despite its well-publicised fcukups, AI search is very much here to stay because THAT’S WHAT THE MARKET WANTS (not the market made up of actual humans, to be clear, but the one run by that invisible hand cnut).
  • The Ghosts of New Atheism: A very good piece looking at how the Dawkins/Hitchens wave of ATHEISM IS GOOD AND GOD-PEOPLE ARE DUMB AS ROCKS thinking has left a long shadow, and examining what shape that shadow takes in 2024. I’ve always thought that hardcore atheism is not only a slightly-obnoxious position to take, but also a fundamentally hypocritical one – after all, isn’t it a classic example of holding an unshakeable belief in something (ie the non-existence of a supreme being) that is fundamentally unprovable…which is faith…JUST LIKE BELIEVING IN GOD? I would posit that it in fact is, so QED and fcuk off – and so was primed to agree with this from the off, but I very much like the clear throughline it draws between the initial rise of the movement and the ‘facts don’t care about your feelings!’ style of online argument favoured by many of the very worst people in the world in the 2020s.
  • 10 Years of Normcore: OH GOD I FEEL SO OLD, SO OLD. 10 years since Normcore swept the world, since a small hipster trend consultancy coined a term that defined an era (a short, inconsequential era fine, but still), a decade since we started having to coin pithy, one-or-two-word terms for EVERYTHING…this is a great piece, interviewing three of the people at K-Hole who came up with the term and looking back on What It All Meant, and if you’re the sort of person who ever has to ‘do’ trends stuff then this will speak to your soul (and make you shudder involuntarily at several points, no doubt).
  • 10 Years of MSCHF: I’ve made it clear on here before that I am suspicious of MSCHF – partly jealousy, obviously, as it’s exactly the sort of thing I would have loved to have been involved with 15 years ago, but also partly because I’ve always felt that it has a whiff of undeclared trust fund about it. Still, this profile of the company on its 10th birthday made me feel slightly better-disposed towards them – possibly because the author annoyed me more than the company he was profiling (sorry, but). This is an interesting look at how the business works, what it thinks it’s for, what might be next and whether the whole thing’s already sort-of over – unsurprisingly, it’s a lot more sensible behind the scenes than it looks from the outside, and I found their approach to idea generation and development really interesting (democratic and THOROUGH, basically, which are qualities perhaps worth attempting to replicate).
  • No Launch: My reaction to this was CLASSIC OLD PERSON – I basically read it with steadily-mounting incredulity, astonished at the idea that ‘Not putting every single aspect of your relationship on fcuking Insta’ is now considered to be a radical new approach to the cut and thrust of dating. WHAT THE ACTUAL FCUK?! I know I am anomalous in many respects when it comes to social media usage, but is this really such an outrageous idea, that you wouldn’t in fact treat your relationship in the same way as a tabloid might treat that of a celebrity? Madness, I tell you. See also this piece, on ‘the rise of tolamory’ – tolamory, for those as confused as I was, is apparently ‘a relationship dynamic in which one or both partners puts up with — or tolerates — the other’s outside sexual or romantic contact. Unlike polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy, it’s not something the couple has explicitly discussed and agreed to’…so, what, that’s ‘accepting being treated like utter sh1t even though it makes you miserable and unhappy and you never signed up for that sort of sh1t in the first place’? DEAR GOD NO WONDER THERE IS A CRISIS OF DATING. You’re all mad.
  • Rigid Body Collisions: A brilliant interactive explainer about How Physics In Coding Works – I LOVE THIS, and I know next to nothing about either physics or coding. “From Mario bouncing off a Goomba to two cars bumping into each other in a racing game, dealing with collisions is such an integral part of most video games that we often take it for granted. In this series of blog posts, I want to show you what actually goes on behind the scenes in a physics simulation. While we’re going to look at this through the lens video games, this post is really about the actual math and physics of collisions. Video games are just a nice way to contextualize these concepts and help make things a little less abstract.” Honestly, this is SUCH a nice, gentle and clear series of explanations, reminiscent of the amazing Polish guy who does all those ‘how flight actually works’ longform web explainers (you know the one, I can’t be fcuked to Google it as it’s 1120 and i am running LATE).
  • Bringing the Internet to the Amazon: What happens when a tribe in the Amazon gets Starlink and access to the web? This does: ““When it arrived, everyone was happy,” said Tsainama Marubo, 73, sitting on the dirt floor of her village’s maloca, a 50-foot-tall hut where the Marubo sleep, cook and eat together. The internet brought clear benefits, like video chats with faraway loved ones and calls for help in emergencies. “But now, things have gotten worse,” she said. She was kneading jenipapo berries to make a black body paint and wearing ropes of jewelry made from snail shells. Lately, the youth had become less interested in making such dyes and jewelry, she said. “Young people have gotten lazy because of the internet,” she said. “They’re learning the ways of the white people.” Then she paused and added, “But please don’t take our internet away.””
  • The Church of Roblox: Another one for the ‘The Metaverse already exists, it’s just not owned by Meta or in VR yet’ file – this piece is about young people in the Philippines congregating in digital Catholic churches in Roblox as part of a slightly-odd ecclesiastical roleplaying game (no, really): “The Roblox Filipino Catholics group, which calls itself a “community of young people looking for sanctity online,” has about 5,000 members on the gaming chat platform Discord. While none are actually ordained, the group mirrors the real-world Catholic Church hierarchy, with bishops, priests, deacons, and monks. It even has an online seminary to train role-playing priests for the virtual churches. “We don’t recognize ourselves as real priests, nor would we be recognized as such,” Inigo Arcilla, 19, who leads the Roblox Filipino Catholics as co-chief administrator, told Rest of World. But while they are merely role-playing, “all that we do must be in accordance to tradition,” he said.” I find this stuff SO INTERESTING.
  • Why Do People Hate Nickelback?: PROPER ANALYSIS, this, of what it is that caused Nickelback to become possibly the web’s first meme band, the go-to name when you wanted to reference a universally-derided artist – to be clear, I firmly believe that ‘This Is How You Remind Me’ is an all-time classic (IT HAS THREE HOOKS! THREE!) and think that anyone who disagrees is being a contrarian. Anyway, this is quite silly and made me laugh, but does make the important point that perhaps the main reason was a single joke about the band by some comedian being used in an ad for Comedy Central that was on TV ALL THE FCUKING TIME for six months – never underestimate the power of high-rotation broadcast media, kids, even in the internet age.
  • Baking: A really *nice* piece in the FT, in which Ella Risbridger spends the day with Nicola Lamb in an attempt to git gud at baking – this is just really lovely writing, and the sort of article that, despite my innate dislike for the term, I can’t help but describe as ‘wholesome’. Although I think Rusbridger perhaps flubs the freestyle bake at the end on purpose, because I refuse to believe that ANYONE could conceive of a cake combining honey, rye flour and olive oil as being nice to eat.
  • The Man Who Couldn’t Stop Leaning: This is a wonderful profile of a person who is on track to become the most-academically-decorate human in North America – “Benjamin B. Bolger has been to Harvard and Stanford and Yale. He has been to Columbia and Dartmouth and Oxford, and Cambridge, Brandeis and Brown. Over all, Bolger has 14 advanced degrees, plus an associate’s and a bachelor’s. Some of Bolger’s degrees took many years to complete, such as a doctorate from the Harvard Graduate School of Design. Others have required rather less commitment: low-residency M.F.A.s from Ashland University and the University of Tampa, for example.” This is LOVELY – there’s something wonderful about someone learning simply for the love of it (ok, fine, it’s possible there may be a SMALL element of compulsion here too, but let’s ignore that), and I really like the authorial observations of the sort of person that Bolger is as a result of all that education, the sense of all of this knowledge now just being within him, waiting to be pulled out and connected to other bits of knowledge (I can’t help but think of LLMs at this point, which is either an interesting angle or the result of my personal AI-poisoning, not quite sure). There’s one rather startling omission, to my mind, throughout – at no point, unless I have missed something, is the question of ‘who is paying for all this and how?’ addressed – but this is a really heartwarming read in general (or it is if you’re not one of those miserable people who sees the value in education and learning solely in the potential impact on one’s employment prospects).
  • Taylor Swift Loves ARGs: OH THIS IS GREAT! A proper, deep exploration of all the clues and games and TREASURE HUNT elements in the Taylor Swift promotional cycle, written by someone who knows their ARGs. “I’m not aware of Taylor Swift using backmasking to hide secret messages in her music. I have yet to find secret tracks between the grooves of her vinyl records. And I have not yet called a phone number because a Taylor Swift puzzle told me to do so. But Taylor Swift’s easter eggs absolutely live up to the promise of that question Jordan Weisman asked over twenty years ago: can we do Paul is Dead, but for real” Yes. Swifties have been playing that game for years, and they keep getting better at it. The Tortured Poet’s Department alone had fans poring through the source codes of websites, going on global scavenger hunts to spell out messages, and hunting down secret messages in online videos. And the decision to turn her life into one massive ongoing puzzle is something so all-consuming that it’s more than a little terrifying to imagine: practically anything is on the table.” Superb, Swiftie or not.
  • The Review Copies: Alexander Velky is a poet (he’s also president of the micronation ‘Landskeria’, but that’s not relevant right now), and this is his account of what it’s like self-publishing a book and punting out review copies in the hope that someone will bother to cover it, and the odd sense of disillusionment when you find that one of said reviewers has seemingly chucked the copy you sent them on eBay without having read the fcuking thing in the first place. This is a great piece of writing – funny, ironic, poignant and honest about the realities of what it’s like to make work that, objectively, the world doesn’t give a fcuk about – and I can strongly recommend his poetry (honestly, it really is good).

By Faith 47

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

Webcurios 31/05/24

Reading Time: 34 minutes

When I was 20, in the Summer of 2001, I spent an afternoon at my friend Paul’s house in Swindon along with my other friend Jim. As we got gently drunk in the sunshine, we found ourselves lamenting the fact that ‘there isn’t any big news happening at the moment’ (yes, I know, but in our defence we were young and this was a pre-rolling-news / pre-web-everywhere era).

And so, the monkey’s paw curled.

Since then it’s fair to say that everything appears to be happening simultaneously, all the time, but even by the standards of modernity this week has been QUITE FULL, what with the various election madnesses in the UK, and Ukraine, and Gaza (honestly, Israel’s commitment to finding new and creative definitions for the word ‘precision’ is quite remarkable), and the Pope and, oh yes, That Fcuking Man (lol, though), not to mention all the other stuff which I simply haven’t had time to learn about.

So what I’m saying is that you probably feel like you need a break, like you need to kick back, to relax, to maybe just live in the moment, to BREATHE. Well, sorry, but I can’t help with that – all I have are a fcuktonne of links, as ever, so make the best of it and stop whining.

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and you might want to consider visiting a heat pump this weekend (it will make sense if you read on, promise).

By Sonmina

WHY NOT START THIS WEEK’S CURIOS WITH SOME LOVELY JAZZ AND LATIN AND OTHER STUFF COMPILED BY TOM SPOONER? THERE IS NO REASON WHATSOEVER! 

THE SECTION WHICH, HOWEVER OLD IT GETS, WILL NEVER CEASE TO BE AMAZED BY THE CREATIVE AND SPECTACULAR WAYS IN WHICH THE LEFT IN THE UK WILL ATTEMPT TO FCUK ITSELF WITH KNIVES, PT.1:  

  • Showrunner: I’ve repeatedly said in here that I am pretty bearish about AI-generated video – it’s not very good now, and I don’t think, based on what I understand about How Generating It Works, that it is going to get meaningfully better very fast – and the less said about ‘AI video based on AI-generated scripts’ the better. So that’s to preface this link with a general hand-wavey ‘hey, anyone who works in TV/film, I don’t think the machine is coming to take your job just yet! No, it’s the terrible mismanagement of your industry, rapacious greed of the people at the top and the insane competition for attention you’re up against that’s going to fcuk you instead!’ sort of vibe – that good? You feel reassured? GREAT! Showrunner (back to the link) is a prototypical (very prototypical – it’s only in Alpha, and there’s apparently a 50,000 strong waitlist to get into even that) platform designed to let people make entire TV shows using AI. Do you remember a year or so ago I linked to an entirely AI-generated episode of South Park? No, of course you don’t, but I DO. That was built on something calling itself ‘Fable Technologies’ – which has since spun up this platform. The details are VERY FUZZY, but from what I can recall there’s a sort of ‘create the characters, give them personalities, and emergent drama happens within the sandbox, which you can direct and edit and (possibly, I’m reaching a bit here) script if you want…anyway, Showrunner currently has a selection of trailers and the occasional 5-minute FULL EPISODE of AI shows for you to check out, and I encourage you to take a few minutes to click into some of them and take a look. There’s the inevitable ‘South Park-style satirical riff on Silicon Valley; (OF COURSE), which has a 5-minute episode and which was probably the least-bad of the things I looked at (the bar, to be clear, is snake-belly low); there’s an Akira ripoff anime, there’s a Cars ripoff…honestly, based on the quality of the output here it’s hard to imagine anyone with an IQ in treble figures being entertained by any of this stuff, particularly when you consider that the bits they’ll have put on the website will be THE VERY BEST they could create, but I am fascinated to see whether there does end up being a market for dreck of this ilk – because, to be clear, if there *is* a market for it, that is slightly chilling.
  • The Big Spreadsheet of Politicians Doing Video: So, have you enjoyed THE FIRST WEEK OF ELECTION FUN? I’ve had to pay significantly more attention to the practical minutiae than I would ideally have liked, and, honestly, it is incredibly dispiriting – I think perhaps my most ‘we are not a serious country’ moment (and there have been many) was the realisation that it’s entirely plausible that the party whose entire electoral comms strategy to date has been ‘wacky, self-aware photo opportunities’ will in fact be the official party of opposition in five weeks’ time (I mean, unlikely but NOT IMPOSSIBLE) and that their response to this potential responsibility is to pretend to fall off a paddleboard in ‘comedy’ style. My second least-favourite thing has been the branding of the whole thing as ‘THE FIRST TIKTOK ELECTION’ (I know, the media needs a THING to latch onto, but really?) and the breathless attempts to analyse the competing communication styles of the two main parties on the platform without any parallel explanation of How The Platform Works, or seeming understanding that ‘doing TikTok’ is literally just ‘throwing sh1t at the wall and seeing what sticks’. Anyway, if you are curious to see how various politicians in the UK are communicating with video, the BBC’s Marianna Spring has compiled this amazing spreadsheet of all the UK and US politicians, with links to their Insta and TikTok profils (where they have them), so you can get a feel for how they’re using it. If you’re a bit of a politics weirdo (like, er, me, to a certain extent) there’s a degree of joy to be gleaned from the sheer wooden ineptitude of so much of the output here – I’ve worked in politics and adjacent to it, and I have to acknowledge that almost every single MP I have ever met is in their own way incredibly charismatic in person, strange as that might be to say (weird, yes, invariably incredibly strange and often broken, but charismatic nonetheless), and yet that charisma does not, in the main, translate to the small screen AT ALL. Almost every single one of these accounts has what I believe people refer to as ‘incredibly cursed energy’.
  • In Rhythm With Nature: If all the politics this week has left you feeling somewhat enervated and wrung-out, then a) pull yourself together ffs, there’s LOTS left; and b) you might appreciate this small Google Arts & Culture Experiment which effectively offers a selection of small meditative moments, a ‘virtual multisensory experience’ which in itself is an interpretation of Carl Linnaeus’ Flower Clock. Depending on what time of day it is when you visit, you’ll get a different experience based on a different type of flora, some breathing exercises, and some lovely flowery visuals designed by Anna Glover. Lovely, this, and genuinely relaxing in a way that I don’t ordinarily find this sort of thing.
  • Maven: It’s been interesting watching Twitter come back to life (a bit, in a sort of dead cat bounce sort of way) as the politics has kicked off again, as people remember that in certain very specific times there are few things more entertaining than a bunch of desperately-cynical, miserable and internet-broken people making jokes about how dreadful everything is (or, er, that’s what my feed’s like, in any case) – still, I still largely believe that the social media as-was era is over and isn’t really coming back. It’s not stopping people from attempting to reinvent that particular wheel, though, and the latest attempt is this, Maven, which has a few interesting features and looks…maybe like it could be worth persisting with. Effectively it’s ‘social media but with no likes, or ‘follow’ mechanic, and which instead is designed around the idea of following ‘interests’, with content then aggregated within these interests by AI. The idea of this, presumably, is to minimise the peacocking and personal self-aggrandisement of a ‘me and my followers and my popularity’ network, and instead to move towards a ‘value of information based on interest and utility’-based network, where content is surfaced based on how worthwhile people find it. “Maven is a new kind of social network–a serendipity network–that doesn’t work like the usual popularity-contest style of network you’re used to experiencing everywhere else.  We don’t have likes (and therefore don’t count them) and you don’t follow other people’s accounts.  Instead, you follow interests, and your feed is a reflection of the interests you follow. Maven AI extracts the relevant interests from every post and shows them to you when you see content in your feed.  That way, because posts touch on multiple interests, you continually experience the opportunity to expand your horizons by following new interests, increasing your chance of serendipity through meeting people with complementary interests. Because the users you encounter on Maven are through shared interests rather than likes or follows, you’ll meet people here you would not encounter anywhere else. Part of the idea behind Maven is that there is an enormous flux of ideas and interests out there on the internet that we never get to see or interact with because everything we experience is always based on popularity.  That changes with Maven.” I’ve been vaguely lurking on the web version for a couple of weeks, and it is a VERY different experience to anything I’ve used before – significantly slower, and…deeper, in a way. Not sure I need another fcuking distraction timesink and therefore whether it will stick for me, but it’s definitely worth a look.
  • Kaizen: Look, full disclosure – on many levels I really, really dislike this. The voices used (an incredibly-irritating kid and a patronising-sounding woman), the generically motivational/positivity/YOU CAN DO IT! vibe of the narrative, such as there is one, and the general sense of ‘live, laugh, love’ of the whole experience meant that at several points over the few minutes of its runtime I found myself making disgusted noises out loud, and at one point even muttering ‘oh for fcuk’s sake’ at my laptop (which by the way was wheezing emphysemically at certain points, so maybe don’t have ALL the tabs open when you run this). But…but…the art style is REALLY nice, and the animation is nice, and if you ignore the sickly ‘message’ and the ‘you can do anything!’ bromides, it’s actually a nicely-made bit of webwork (and, to reiterate, the look of this is really rather gorgeous). It’s a digital calling card by the Make Me Pulse agency, who, should they ever read this, I hope will focus on the nice things I have said about their technical chops rather than the aspersions I am seemingly casting on who they are as people.
  • Analysing Text Messages With My Ex-Boyfriend: This could not be more up my street if it came and set up camp outside my front door (fcuking *hell* that was clunky, sorry) – Teresa Ibarra had a relationship which went on for about nine months, and during which she and her boyfriend exchanged 83,000 odd messages between them. This site is a deep textual analysis of those messages (done with the permission of the ex) and I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Sentiment analysis, topics over time, common themes…all of this is presented as data, graphed and plotted and visible to the world. Ibarra presents all this fairly baldly, with minimal commentary and interpretation, but there’s something beautiful and poignant and sad and lovely about seeing the ebb and flow and eventual demise of a love affair tracked in bar charts, the tailing off of communication as things reach their close, the spikes at the start when you’re still stunned by the fact that you found each other and you like each other and you still have so much to learn…Honestly, I think this is so so so beautiful, in a very analytical and slightly-austere sense, and I would give a kidney (not that mine are worth anything any more) to have this sort of analysis available as a standard feature in any communications platform, to be able to select a WhatsApp chat, say, and with the consent of all parties involved to be able to create something like this (but I say that as someone who somewhere has a CD onto which I burnt all of the emails I exchanged with an old girlfriend with whom I shared a workplace, so maybe I’m just weird).
  • Gmail Will Break Your Heart: Tangentially-related to the last link, this is a project that Caitlin at ‘Links I Will Gchat You’ is running and which I think is SUCH a good idea – she writes, “I’m collecting old, personally meaningful emails to celebrate Gmail’s 20th year. Our long-memoried inboxes contain a complete and damning record of our past interactions. But when’s the last time YOU went spelunking there?? What I’m looking for: Old emails (pre-2022, let’s say, but the older the better) with personal meaning to you. That could include your first email with a friend or partner, your last email from an elderly relative, a message expressing love or anger or heartbreak or any announcement that otherwise changed your life in some way.” All emails will be anonymised – and there are tips on how to easily do that with software before you submit via an anonymous Google form, so this is all totally privacy-safe – and, even if you decide not to participate, I can’t recommend the exercise of going back into your email past enough. It is a different country, and there is something quite remarkable about revisiting the very different and yet entirely the same person you were 20 years ago via the medium of old prose which you never thought you would look at ever again.
  • Walmart Realm: It’s A METAVERSE! Or at least that’s probably what it was sold to management as – in reality it’s…dear God, what the fcuk *is* this mess? It appears to be a selection of ‘immersive interactive environments’ that you can explore (I confess to only having tried one of them, because this is fcuking terrible on every level and I couldn’t stand to waste any more of the limited amount of time remaining to me with ‘experiencing the magical undersea world of Walmart’) – I say ‘explore’, but it’s limited to clicking on a few navigation arrows, and then some buttons which apparently let you…buy a very limited selection of stuff from Walmart, and play some terrible browser games for…the chance to be entered into a sweepstake to win a voucher? This is astonishingly bad – not just conceptually, but technically (seriously, try ‘looking around’ the environment and see what happens to the camera), and if you’re feeling a bit low, professionally-speaking, it’s perhaps worth taking a look and reminding yourself that you were at least not involved in pitching, building or justifying this utter waste of energy (unless, er, you were, in which case I am very sorry for your lots).
  • RetractionWatch: Niche, and honestly a bit serious for Curios, but I was momentarily fascinated by this site which exists to track and document retractions in the academic space – so basically a list of posts detailing instances where academics or institutions have been forced to retract research papers as a result of…irregularities. I was amazed by how often this seems to happen, although on reflection there are a LOT of academics and institutions worldwide, and, well, people will be people. Interestingly, there’s a whole section on ‘GPT-generated papers’ which gives you some insight into how LLMs are affecting academia.
  • ViewStats: Say what you like about Jimmy ‘MrBeast’ Donaldson – no, really, say what you like, he will never know and even if he did it is unlikely he would give one iota of a fcuk, considering the only thing the man seems to care about is YouTube channel stats – but this is, I think, A Good Thing and quite a generous one. ViewStats is a new tool, in beta at the moment, which gives you really pretty good (from a cursory look, at least) insights into YouTube channel performance, for free – there is of course a paid tier with PRO TOOLS which promise to help creators make more appealing, stickier (and more monetisable!) videos by using MrBeast’s ‘secret sauce’ (a deeply unpleasant sentence I wish I had not written), but the free analytics are genuinely pretty good, and if you need a way of getting details about channel performance over time and a whole bunch of other stuff, this looks like it could be genuinely helpful. It doesn’t have every YT channel on there (yet), but if you are looking for one and it’s not currently visible you can submit it to be added to the database, which feels helpful and generally like A Good Thing.
  • The CalmTech Institute: An interesting new initiative – the CalmTech Institute is basically a new collective that, as far as I can tell, wants to set itself up as a kitemark for ‘mindful (sorry, sorry, sorry) technology’ – or, at the very least, technology that isn’t explicitly designed to siphon all of your attention (and, by extension, data, or money, or what remains of the withered husk of your soul). The idea is that they will work with tech developers to ‘accredit’ their devices or software, thereby granting an imprimatur of ‘quality’, or at least ‘calm’ to the whole thing. You can read about the principles here – they’re sensible, to my mind at least – and this feels like something which if you’re doing a Certain Type of Initiative, it might be worth investigation or partnering with.
  • AI Literature Review: This…this looks like a rare example of a good, useful implementation of AI for academic purposes (although it’s entirely possible I am wrong here, so, well, as ever don’t take a word I say seriously). AI Literature Review, as the name would suggest, uses AI to help academics create the summaries of the current state of thinking in their field which are a necessary part of the submission process for papers, based on real, verified-by-humans information: “With Seamless, researchers can input a paper description and Seamless will generate a literature review grounded on real papers. Seamless searches the Semantic Scholar database of scientific papers (that covers the scientific works published in most of the topics), and blends together the relevant papers with the user description to create the literature review. The last step is done using large language models like GPT-4.” So basically an LLM query layer on top of a database – which, fine, isn’t exactly groundbreaking, but does feel like a smart and helpful application of the tech. It’s not free, but if you’re in academia it might be worth a look, particularly considering how onerous I imagine this sort of thing is to compile manually.
  • Hello Wonder: Another interesting application of AI as a ‘layer’, although I am…sceptical as to how this will actually work, if at all. The premise is, basically, ‘the internet, but filtered through an LLM which ensures that it’s safe for kids at all times’ – so basically your kid can browse, but the content is moderated. “Wonder is an AI companion that makes the whole internet safe and nurturing for kids. It effectively filters out harmful content, making it a better way for children to independently experience the internet. Children can engage in conversations about their interests using simple language. Parents and guardians have the ability to customize content parameters to align with their goals and values. Additionally, parents and guardians can monitor their children’s online activities in real time, receive notifications, and communicate with their children directly through Wonder.” So, as far as I can tell, it basically adds an ‘Explain It Like I’m 5” filter to everything, as well as a safety filter, to render the contents of the web digestible for smaller people. I am…not sure I like this idea, but then again I am not a parent and am probably more relaxed than is healthy about ‘just let them read stuff, it’ll be FINE’ (reading Kate Millett’s ‘Sexual Politics’ at 11 never did me any ha…oh) – still, I am not sure I’m comfortable with the way that this presumably sands all the edges off everything and regurgitates it in the bland LinkedIn-ese of LLM prose. Still, if you have a kid and an iPad this is free to use (it’s in beta, so there may be charges in the future) and could be interesting.
  • Visit A Heat Pump: What are YOU doing this weekend? Anything fun? BBQ, maybe? The Champions League Final? A 72h meth and darkroom bender? Why do any of those things when instead you could, er, VISIT A HEAT PUMP! Via Ben Templeton, this is actually an initiative by NESTA in the UK, designed to get people who already have a heat pump installed to evangelise to the heat pump-curious (what a phrase!) about how great they are and how easy to install – all of this in service of the policy drive to get more people to replace their old fossil fuel-powered boilers with the cleaner, greener tech. To be honest this is a good idea and I am sure there’s a lot of smart ‘insight’ behind it (maybe), but I couldn’t help but p1ss myself at the hopeful-sounding website title which implies that ‘Visiting a heatpump’ is an activity to be bracketed alongside, say, ‘visiting Stonehenge’.
  • Facebook AI Slop: This is a genuinely great Twitter account sharing some of the best/worst examples of the AI rubbish sweeping through Facebook like a plague. The pinned image is one of the best things I have ever seen, if by ‘best’ you accept I mean ‘worst’, and this feed is FULL of some truly batsh1t stuff (and some occasionally slightly horrible images, just so you know).

By Randy Ortiz (this and all subsequent pics lifted from TIH)

UP NEXT, A GENUINELY BEAUTIFUL ALBUM WHICH I HAVE BEEN LISTENING TO A LOT LATELY AND WHICH I THINK YOU MIGHT LIKE TOO AND WHICH IS BY A BAND CALLED SPIRO AND WHICH IS CALLED ‘KALEIDOSCOPICA’!

THE SECTION WHICH, HOWEVER OLD IT GETS, WILL NEVER CEASE TO BE AMAZED BY THE CREATIVE AND SPECTACULAR WAYS IN WHICH THE LEFT IN THE UK WILL ATTEMPT TO FCUK ITSELF WITH KNIVES, PT.2:    

  • Sympawnies: Via Andy, this is a YouTube channel with a single, singular premise – Noam Oxman is a musician who…oh, look, let him explain it: “In the search of new ways to express my art, my passions, and my music I created ‘Sympawnies’ – a new type of art form that combines three of my biggest loves – animals, music, and drawing. ‘Sympawnies’ is a collection of my original musical scores, which I draw in the shapes of different animals. All animals are welcome – pets/farm/wild.” Which I appreciate may not make much sense, so click in and look at the videos and realise that the score is written in such a way TO MAKE THE MUSICAL NOTATION LOOK LIKE A PICTURE OF THE ANIMAL IN QUESTION! THIS IS REMARKABLE! Ok, so there are some flourishes in the way he draws his semiquavers and the like to make the pictures work, but there’s also some insane compositional skill in making music that sounds good while also being recognisably written so as to appear in the shape of, say, a great dane. This is honestly mental, and made me wonder how the fcuk this idea first came to him (mushrooms, surely?).
  • Poetic Computer: This is technical and a bit obscure, but I very much like the idea of ‘code as poetry’ and the ability of html and css to connote meaning and convey emotion beyond the content they frame (if that makes any sense at all). Basically this is the home to Prasa, described by its creator as ‘an esoteric programming language that investigates the intersection of technology and cultural identity’, inspired by the Telugu language of certain parts of India. Look, you’ll have to be a particular type of programmer/language enthusiast to get the most out of this, I think, but I hope that for maybe one of you this will be slightly inspirational or at least academically-interesting.
  • Load-Bearing Posts: If you’ve been anywhere near Twitter in the past week or so you’ll likely have seen this floating around, but if not then I strongly encourage you to click the link, click the ‘Quote Tweets’ button and enjoy a recap of some of the greatest shortform bangers that the human race has ever produced (oh, ok, fine, that’s unfair, but we’re not privy to the pithy sh1tposting of the Mesopotamians and so this is what we’re left with). The original post read as follows: “What are the load-bearing posts of our time? Obviously ‘facing god and walking backwards into hell’ and ‘miette’ are up there. Does Ed Balls still count? PS if you can parse this you should probably log off”, and although, as is inevitable when something gets this big, people have gone off-topic and are substituting ‘load-bearing’ for ‘funny’, it’s still a wonderful reminder of the fact that Twitter really has given us some absolutely top-notch comedy over the years (alongside the brainrot and the general disgust with our species that it’s also engendered).
  • Meow Library: Books for cats – specifically, famous novels which have been ‘translated’ for felines, so that every word is replaced with ‘meow’. “Founded by feline linguist Sam Austen, The Meow Library aims to translate every major work of the Western canon into language that can be understood and appreciated by the common housecat. Proceeds from Sam’s literary debut, Meow: A Novel, are funding this effort. Our organization hopes to have several works by Dostoevsky, Nietzsche, and Proust feline-ready by this holiday season.” So this is obviously a very silly joke and the fact that the books are being sold as ‘comedy gifts’ slightly put me off including it, but then I discovered the podcast and FCUKING HELL is this a commitment to the bit that I can’t help but applaud. Seriously, click the link and listen – I genuinely did corpse at this, and it made me feel significantly warmer to the whole project. MEOW.
  • Watch Censor: On the one hand, this SAYS it’s a site dedicated to helping you work out at what point in popular films there are scenes of a sexual nature so that you can ensure that you skip them entirely, so as to not offend your chaste eyeballs with the FILTHY PERVERSION OF HUMAN CONGRESS (so far, so ‘stereotypes about GenZ/Alpha’) – except, if you dig a bit, all of the titles they seem to have information on are, er, famously QUITE SEXY, and the information also serves the dual function of itemising every single even vaguely-titillating moment in each episode so that, should you be so minded, you could ALSO use this as a way to just scrub through and get to the good bits. This has obviously been hacked together by an enterprising teenager, and, frankly, more power to them for not just going straight to a Tube site.  This reminded me an awful lot of something that genuinely did exist in the 1980s and 1990s in the UK – terrible joke non-newspaper ‘The Daily Sport’, famous for incredible headlines like ‘Lord Lucan Found Living In Bus On Moon’ (no, really – you can see some bangers from its Sunday edition collected here), used to have daily TV listings which would provide a detailed breakdown of every single instance in which female nudity, however minor, was visible on UK television, so avid masturbators could ensure they were tuning in at the exact moment in which, I don’t know, you got a brief flash of Helen Mirren’s nipple in a vaguely-erotic 1970s arthouse flick. Good to see that certain habits persist (Jesus, men eh?).
  • Can’t Sleep Reads: This is a nice idea – Can’t Sleep Reads is, as the name suggests, a place to find things to read when you can’t sleep; all of the content is public domain, so it tends to short stories from classic (mainly US, I think) authors like Mark Twain, and you get a different one each time you refresh (you can also load a new random one at the bottom of each page should a single tale not be enough to send you towards catatonia). Definitely worth bookmarking or saving a link to on your phone should you be the sort of person with a tendency to lie there staring at the ceiling at 3am, wondering if your insides are doing what they’re supposed to be doing.
  • Drum Samples: Would you like some free drum samples? You would? GREAT! This is a page on the website of artist (and drummer) Bill Mead, who posts images of his paintings, free to download, as well as offering a whole host of these samples for anyone to take and do with as they please. “Most of the drum samples you’ll find on this site were originally created and distributed through a project called Organic Drum Loops (organicdrumloops.com). This site was prolific from late 2016 through early 2023 and produced a large catalog of unique drum samples. This body of work represented the sound of calfskin headed drums, and the aesthetic of a professional drummer who was finding his way out of musical conformity. Within these downloads are thousands of high resolution multi-track loops, one-shot samples, and improvisations. Earthy in sound, greasy in groove. Interestingly messy much of time, clean and appropriate almost none of the time – yet somehow always feel-driven and vastly musical.” I think I’ve been saying this a lot recently, but I really do adore this sort of thing, the generosity just to make stuff available just in case anyone might want to play with it, or make with it. THANKS, BILL MEAD!
  • Losange Magazine: Do YOU like old Renault cars? Oh my word you will love this, then. “Losange Magazine started in the Netherlands in 2007 as an initiative of Renault enthusiast Tony Vos. The magazine is published four times a year. The digital version started in 2018. Losange Magazine has the support of Renault Classic, the history department of the Renault factory.” SO MUCH RENAULT! Not just cars either, tractors too! Look, this is very much Not My Thing, but I have the utmost respect for anyone who loves something as much as the person behind this clearly loves Renault – seriously, some of the prose is almost reverential – I mean, just listen to this: “Love is not always logical or explainable. But Renault Design has made the new all-electric 5 a sweetheart.” Find someone who talks about you the same way that Tony Vos talks about the all-electric Renault 5.
  • Strong Spiel: Oh oh oh this is so pleasing (and, I get the impression, surprisingly deep if you are musical and take the time to play around with it and understand it a bit). This is basically a stringed instrument simulator – click the link and you’ll be presented with a selection of four sets of digital ‘strings’ which you can strum with your mouse (or, presumably, your finger if you’re on a touchscreen device); you can also edit them and add your own additional strings to effectively create your own strummable instruments – you sort of have to play with it to get the idea, but it’s quite astonishingly soothing, both to play with and to listen to. If you click the little ‘notes’ icon in the bottom-right hand corner you can select from a range of classical pieces (and a few game OSTs as well) to see them being played on the site, which will give you an idea of what’s possible if you can get your head around the interface and the concept – this really is quite beautiful, and, based on the ‘about’ section, I think pretty technically-impressive. There’s an iPad version available for a couple of quid, which I think is a bargain for anyone who’s interested in spending some time getting to grips with it – but even the web version is just gorgeous. Superb work by Canadian dev Murat Ayfer.
  • Funny Works: This week’s ‘preposterously overengineered bit of webwork’ comes from Korean digital studio Funny Works, who’ve recently revamped their website and created this quite amazing portal into their portfolio and projects, all designed as a cartoon teenager’s bedroom that you can click around and explore. There are so many lovely touches here – perhaps my favourite is the oldschool videogame system which acts as a portal to let you explore the various ‘metaverse’ (sorry) type products they’ve built for various clients by plugging in different carts (such a nice bit of design, that), but the whole thing is charming and even the sound on the Page isn’t annoying in the slightest. Ordinarily I get annoyed with sites like this for being obtuse and hard to navigate, but this is really, really charming.
  • Synthetic Theatre: More AI art/storytelling experimentation here, this time (I think – the project’s not exactly well-described, if I can be critical for a second) an experiment in (again, I think) seeing what happens when you let an LLM concoct a story and an image-generator spin up accompanying pictures, with a bit of human guidance. This is very much ‘what you might expect’ in terms of the aesthetic, but I did like the ethos behind it, described here: “This project is an exercise in feeling exposed. Not every story is going to be interesting, not every story or artwork will be interesting, and not every design exploration will look great, but as long as I can manage to fuel my drive to create something new, the outcome becomes secondary.” I can get behind this sort of play – why not use The Machine to fiddle and mess around? Although, to be clear, about 80% of the stuff here is tripe.
  • Cockfloat: This is, I concede, incredibly stupid and very, very childish, but at the same time I was totally unprepared for what I would get when I clicked and I found myself laughing out loud for longer than I am comfortable admitting. ART.
  • Sort The Court: Ooh, this is fun! Have you ever played the mobile game ‘Reigns’? OH GOD SORRY I HAVE JUST DISCOVERED THAT THERE’S A FREE WEB VERSION OH GOD Ahem, sorry – I was saying, Reigns is a game which puts you in the shoes of a monarch making decisions about their kingdom; the decisions are all binary yes/no-type choices, and through them you will either guide your kingdom to fortune and glory, or yourself to an early death. Sort The Court is basically like that, but with a few more graphical flourishes, and it’s FUN! Silly, fun, and a bit whimsical, and a really good way of passing 20 minutes while you wait for something. But. let me reiterate, the second link here takes you to a browser-based version of Reigns, which I really can recommend unreservedly and which may well become something of a timesink compulsion if you’re not careful. TWO  GAMES FOR THE PRICE OF ONE LINK! God I am good to you.
  • Utopia Must Fall: A browser-based demo for a fuller game, coming sometime soon, but which is more than engaging enough to occupy you for 5-10 minutes at a time – it’s basically a Missile Defence-type setup, with you tasked with defending London from asteroids and aliens and assorted other threats by shooting the everliving fcuk out of them with some space lasers. The gameplay is simple-but-fun, but the real star here is the visual style which is a pitch-perfect recreation of the 80s arcade aesthetic responsible for, say, the original Star Wars cabinet game (iykyn) – very reminiscent of Matt Round’s interpretation of Flappy Bird which I linked to a few weeks ago.
  • Frogger, the RPG: Our final game of the week is this FAR better than it needs to be RPG – this is a ‘real game’, or at least about an hour’s worth of one if you’re a completist, made in RPG Maker and asking ‘what if Frogger was a roleplaying game in the style of early Final Fantasy titles?’ – the answer, by the way, is ‘it would be really fun, and if any of these references mean anything to you then you should play it!’. There’s a save functionality so you don’t have to do the whole thing in one sitting, and this is generally a lot smarter and more engaging than you might think when you first log on.

By Matt Hansel

OUR LAST MIX THIS WEEK IS THIS SELECTION OF LOUNGEY, JAZZY, SOUL-Y, ELECTRO-Y, 80s-ISH (SORRY, BUT THAT’S THE BEST I CAN DO) OBSCURITIES MIXED ELEGANTLY BY MYSTERY SEASON!

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

  • The Photo Registry: Via Things Magazine, which I was really pleased to see return this week, The Photo Registry self-describes as “A compendium of photographs for you to digest now and again” – these are not only all really cool images, but the curation here is astonishingly good – just scroll slowly down the page and revel in the absolutely superb ‘mixing’ (yes, I know, but I can’t think of a better term here) of form and subject that whoever is putting these together is doing. Excellent curation done with real style.
  • Forbidden Toys: Whoever is behind this account has absolutely found, and locked into, the part of latent space which is the intersection between ‘old MB toys and boardgames’ and ‘Scarfolk’ – these are fcuking BRILLIANT, and quite a few are just uncanny enough that you’ll have a second or two of false memory before realising that no, actually you did not have a Hypno Pancracio playset (can I just say, by the way, that the LEGO ‘Lady of Fatima’ is legitimately brilliant, and I would like anyone reading this with any influence at the company (lol!) to petition hard for a ‘Catholic Icons’ series? Thanks!

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • Snapper Matt: Also via Things, this is drone photography of London – you know what you’re getting, but the images are no less impressive for all their slight predictability.

LONG THINGS THAT ARE LONG!

  • Building The World For Everyone: Our first longread of the week is written, broadly speaking, about the need for New Zealand to think more and harder about the systems and structures it puts in place to ensure that they work for indigenous peoples as much as they do others – but it’s a really strong argument for inclusive design in a broader sense, and while there’s nothing in here that I would class as ‘revelatory’, it’s equally a really cogent and clear explanation of how systems, and therefore systemic inequality, work, specifically in relation to tech, and the three questions it frames in conclusion are I think hugely useful to carry with you whenever you’re thinking about changing a system or creating a new one (whether technological or otherwise).
  • Strong Links vs Weak Links: A really interesting exploration of two opposite ways of looking at a problem and developing potential solutions – from the opening, “A weak-link problem is where success depends upon the quality of the worst component, whereas a strong-link problem is where it depends upon the quality of the best” – and how a focus on one or the other can and will lead to radically different outcomes and approaches. I thought this was fascinating, both conceptually and also from a practical perspective, as a way of framing thinking and approaches – for the strategists and planners, this is the sort of thing that you can probably turn into an absolute fcuktonne of diagrams (thereby inevitably removing all depth and meaning from the thinking, but, well, I know what you’re like!).
  • Nudging Doesn’t Work: Or, more accurately, perhaps it’s not the magic bullet which so many people have spent the past decade or so saying it is. You’ll be familiar with ‘nudge theory’ – the idea that behavioural change in people is easier to effect via the medium of changing the environment or system within which they operate or exist so as to facilitate or incentivise the behaviour you wish to encourage – largely in part thanks to the adoring coverage given over to the ‘nudge unit’ (technically the Behavioural Insights Team) and their work with the UK Government in recent years. This WSJ piece looks at new research which suggests that the long-term impacts of this sort of work aren’t in fact as impressive as they seem in the short-term, arguing that people are less likely to stick to behavioural change when they don’t feel that they have been agents in deciding to make said change – basically if you eat fewer doughnuts because your route to work changes rather than because you have decided to eat fewer doughnuts, you’re likely to relapse and start going to Krispy Kreme to buy in bulk at the weekends after a while (is basically the argument here).
  • Culture Is An Ecosystem: I have a very personal, very peculiar horror of ‘diagrammatic representations of systems’ thanks to a boss of mine, circa 2005, casually suggesting that it would be good if I could ‘just sort of create a visual map of the UK’s cultural landscape which we could then turn into an interactive website which would effectively be the ur-guide to who was what in every single aspect of the arts at the time, and which we could use as a sort of catch-all research, media and contacts database’ (I am not joking AT ALL – that was literally the aspiration, he was nothing if not ambitious, and I very nearly had some sort of breakdown); anyway, if you are less scarred than I am you might find this interesting and useful (in fact, again, the planner/strategist types among you will fcuking lick this up). “The “culture” of a society isn’t a blob of random human activity, but an orderly ecosystem arising from the interactions between particular subunits. To maintain ecosystem health, we must reject the cynical “poptimist” framing of culture as a mere vehicle for entertainment and commerce and instead promote the benefits of constant cultural refresh” – this is part one of three, but it’s interesting and, I think, a potentially useful set of frames/lenses for thinking about How Culture Works.
  • The Accidental Tyranny of User Interfaces: Or, ‘how making things easy also often makes them worse’. I felt this SO DEEPLY – part of this is age, fine, and FEAR OF CHANGE, but it’s also motivated by being reasonably comfortable navigating information and digital systems, and enjoying the feeling of agency that comes with that comfort; as this piece argues, the drive towards simplification can have the unintended consequences of hamstringing the more accomplished or curious or creative person who’s interacting with a product, service or system (hm, lots of ‘systems’ this week). This is actually a couple of years old, but it feels very resonant and relevant four years on: “My thesis here is that an obsession with easy, “intuitive” and perhaps even efficient user interfaces is creating a layer of soft tyranny. This layer is not unlike what I might create were I a dictator, seeking to soften up the public prior to an immense abuse of liberty in the future, by getting them so used to comical restrictions on their use of things that such bullying becomes normalised.” PREACH.
  • Longform vs Shortform Culture: Or ‘why, if everyone’s attention span is shot to fcuk, is media so bloated these days?’ This is a Vox piece, so it’s a bit surface-y, but the general question – why are so many films so long? Why are so many albums so self-indulgent? – is an interesting one, even though it’s easy to think of examples that contradict this supposed ‘trend’ (and also it doesn’t look at the most interesting longform medium of all, the YouTube deep dive – currently being discussed because of that insane four-hour video about the Star Wars hotel which I haven’t watched but I am reliably informed is Very Interesting). A lot of this is obvious, but there were a couple of questions that I found worth thinking about a bit more – I don’t think there’s any basis whatsoever for this assertion other than ‘authorial vibe’, but this one struck me in particular: “We worry about whether art is the right length because we’re worried that we don’t know how to pay attention anymore,”  or the idea that there’s a sort of performative quality to this longform trend, in a ‘look, see, we CAN focus!’ way.
  • Why Is Learning Chinese So Boring?: This is LONG – and is in fact a collection of three separate essays, all exploring the same broad topic of ‘why don’t people want to learn Mandarin?’ (specifically, I think, from the perspective of New Zealand, but applicable more broadly). This is really interesting – it covers all sorts of things that seem semi-obvious when you are told them, but which I had personally never considered before, such as the extent to which the mandated themes and texts and examples and vocabulary deployed to students are of course mandated by the Chinese state, which has a very clear and well-defined idea of the image of China they want to communicate and who see language teaching as an extension of that – hence the focus on classical poetry and a strangely-antiquated set of phrases and vocabulary which don’t reflect the reality of living in modern, highly-developed Shanghai or Shenzen. I also didn’t realise that foreigners learning through official schools aren’t encouraged to learn ‘traditional’ Mandarin, and are instead directed to the Simplified version of the language and characters, which in itself cuts them off from significant swathes of modern cultural output. Thanks to Alex for sending this my way.
  • The Era of Celebrity Erotica: I had literally no idea that this was a thing, but I guess it’s inevitable given the rise in popularity of both audiobooks and rampantly erotic werewolf bongo novels (other types of bongo novel are, I am assured, available). “A relatively new phenomenon pioneered by audio erotica apps like Dipsea and Quinn, actors have taken on the role of smut narrator, much to their fans’ delight. The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina’s Luke Cook plays an actor engaging in group sex with his wife and girlfriend on Dipsea and You star Victoria Pedretti plays a sapphic detective on Quinn, for example. Most recently, the Hot Priest himself recorded a three-episode story for Quinn portraying a queen’s guard with unresolved feelings for a fiery rebel.” This is an article on Mashable so it’s not exactly sparkling prose (sorry, but it isn’t) – that said, it touches on a lot of interesting areas including the rise in female-centric erotica, the resurgence of INSANE FANDOM and the inevitable boom in spoofed celebrity voices being spun up by AI to enact whatever grubby little scenario you like in audio form. Is…is everyone on the tube secretly listening to Andrew Scott narrating fellatio?
  • One DnD, Two Covers: A really interesting post by Jay Springett – apparently Dungeons and Dragons have published new editions of the game’s ruleset, but have done so in two different covers; one aimed at the sort of player who wants to GO ON ADVENTURES AND KILL DRAGONS AND GET LOOT, and the other aimed at the sort of player who sees the game as a sandbox in which to do character-led roleplay that maybe doesn’t have to involve combat or ‘The Magical Mithril Sword of Thorgandia +3’ or any of that rubbish. I enjoyed the exploration of the promises design makes to the buyer, and the wider question of whether it’s really meaningfully possible to play the second sort of game within a ruleset that was originally developed to be very much the first type – and, to be clear, I don’t and have never played D&D in my life (no shade, I just grew up in an era where demonstrating any interest in this sort of thing would have resulted in my having no friends and an interesting and growing collection of contusions all over my body, and possibly cigarette burns too. Ah, the 1980s! See, kids? Life was shit before mobille telephony and the internet too!).
  • Weetabix: You may not think that a history of Weetabix and a look at its manufacturing process would be a fascinating read, but you would be WRONG – this, by Alex Brenchley in Vittles, is great, although in common with many (if not most) stories about ‘how things work’ there will come a point where you stop reading and sigh/roll your eyes and mutter something about ‘oh ffs massive global capitalism AGAIN, is it?’. Anyway, if nothing else this will give you a new company to investigate and then despise with every fibre of your being – Hi, Cargill! – although if I have a criticism of this article is that it doesn’t devote enough (or indeed any) time to discussing the weird Weetabix brand flirtation with the skinhead movement in the mid-80s.
  • The History of Prosthetic Eyes: I’ve always been fascinated by ocular prostheses (look, not in a weird way, promise), ever since my little brother toyed with the idea of getting one but was fundamentally too freaked out by the process involved – turns out ‘taking a cast of your eyesocket’ is a genuinely invasive and unpleasant experience, who knew?! – and this is a fascinating (if *slightly* uncomfortable, certainly if you’re a bit squeamish about eyes like I am) insight into how they were made traditionally and how the technology has evolved.
  • Penis Filler: Not the first article I’ve featured about ‘men messing with their penises for cosmetic reasons’, but this one is very much a puff-piece rather than an expose’ – no tales of bruised, damaged or deformed members here, oh no siree, just a couple of thousand words of what is basically advertorial for a particular doctor in the US, enthusiastically endorsed by his patient ‘Tommy’, whose getting his treatments comped in exchange for basically being the doc’s hypeman. I’m including this in part because, well, I want every single man reading Curios to feel exactly as queasy as I did when reading about the practicalities of the procedure, and in part because I was so astonished about the various things that (mostly gay) men have done to themselves. Scrotal botox?! (is a phrase I didn’t expect to ever write, and yet).
  • Ballard: An LRB piece about the work and life of JG Ballard, reviewing a new book focusing on the author’s non-fiction output and giving a far more nuanced overview of the man and his thinking, beliefs and place in the canon of 20thC British thinkers than you often get from pieces focusing on his fiction. If there’s one writer who I wish were still alive now to comment on The Now, it’s Ballard (and, oddly, it’s he who I think of first when grasping for ‘an author whose predictions about the world came closest to being true’).
  • Kid Rock: Kid Rock isn’t really a thing in the UK, and never was, but I found this profile of him in Rolling Stone far more curious than I expected – there’s a lot about his career which frankly you might want to skim, but the meat of it comes from his conversations with David Peisner about his politics and beliefs and how he has ended up occupying the niche he has, given his early history in Detroit rap. By the end of the piece there’s something properly tragic about the character depicted, and the closing scenes are among the most poignant I’ve read in a celebrity profile in a long, long time. Rock’s obviously a pr1ck, but it’s also hard not to feel a tiny, tiny bit sorry for him, like so many of this sort of populist waverider trapped in a prison of affect that’s largely of their own making (on which note, long-term UK Twitter/tech heads might want to check out Milo’s feed now he’s been de-banned, which very much has a similar, tragic, ‘playing the hits to the peanut gallery’ vibe).
  • Trump and the Apprentice: On the one hand, HAHAAHAHA! On the other, I am not laughing any more than that until after the US election, because, well, I remember last time. Still, this piece dropped overnight – a look back at the first series of The Apprentice by one of the producers, one Bill Pruitt, who for whatever reason now feels able to dish out the unvarnished truth about what it was like working with That Fcuking Man – this won’t surprise you, but, equally, fcuk me some of the details in here.
  • The Social History of the Cardboard Box: Also via Links, this is a VERY LONG piece about something which sounds incredibly dull but, in fact, is properly interesting. Cardboard boxes are everywhere, but like so many ubiquitous-yet-mundane features of modernity we don’t tend to think about where they come from or who makes them or how or why – this will OPEN YOUR EYES. This covers supply chain, manufacture, the environment…even the *semiotics* of the cardboard box (and yes, I am well aware how w4nky that sounds) – the only omission here, that really surprised me, was the complete lack of acknowledgement of the box’s role as a place of shelter and rest for homeless people in urban environments the world over, a surprising omission for such a winding and comprehensive piece.
  • OnlyFans and Football: As a Chelsea fan I spend a bit of time on Chelsea Twitter, which is how I became tangentially aware of the existence of OnlyFans ‘model’ Astrid Wett (I am unsure as to whether this is Ms Wett’s given name, but I have my doubts) – I didn’t, though, know that there was a whole cottage industry of other young women doing various shades of bongo while at the same time milking their club allegiance to make ‘w4nking to a woman barely out of her teens’ an essential part of ‘SUPPORTING THE BOYS’. This piece made me feel very old, if I’m honest, and quite sad – look, if these women can deal with it then more power to them, but the degree of abuse they seem to receive, and the fairly rank misogyny involved, and the stuff lurking just below the surface about the tacit relationships between clubs and players just all feels…quite grubby.
  • Strength Training: I have been to the gym twice in my life, and that was enough; despite this personal lack of interest in staving off death via the medium of exercise, I really enjoyed this piece, by Phil Christman, about his experience of lifting, the difference between ‘working out’ and ‘training’ and the culture and psychology of physical self-optimisation. This is really well-written, whether or not you know what and where the fcuk a deltoid is.
  • How To Write A Eulogy: A really good piece by Chandler Dean in McSweeneys, on writing words for a funeral. I hope you don’t need this, but just in case you do.
  • What It’s Like Being At A Gangbang: On reflection  not necessarily the cadence of articles I’d necessarily have chosen, but, well, that’s just the way the tabs fell this morning. This is JOYOUS – honestly, it really is, and I say that as someone who genuinely has no desire ever to see, attend, participate in or, especially, smell the sort of event here being described. This is a Q&A interview between some bloke who wasn’t there and some woman who very much was – the interviewee was working as a ‘fluffer’ at said gangbang, and, honestly, just sounds like SUCH a happy and sex-positive and friendly person, and makes the whole event sound quite astonishingly friendly and wholesome, if you can use that word about a piece that involves some detailed descriptions of ‘Eiffel Towering’ (no, I didn’t either, but you will learn).
  • 50 Things I Know: Ordinarily I have VERY little time for these sorts of lists – I don’t care what wisdom you’ve accrued, you fcuker, and why does it so often end up being the same set of platitudinous Hallmark bromides, eh? – but I will make an exception for this one, which I very much enjoyed; partly stylistically, but partly because of the variance in the sorts of ‘lessons’ being imparted. I thought a good 15% of this was errant b0llocks, but that doesn’t matter because it was enjoyable, interesting and thought-provoking to read.
  • Slap Fighting: This is a SUPERB bit of feature writing in Esquire – Ander Monson goes to explore the growing world of slap fighting, a sport where men stand opposite each other and compete to see who can deck the other first via the medium of delivering straight-arm, open-hand slaps to the face. Funny, interesting, and with just enough authorial personality injected to make it relatable for those of us who aren’t the sort of person who thinks ‘getting smacked in the face by someone who weighs 14 stone’ sounds like a good time. The final paragraph took me back to Ballard again, oddly enough, specifically Cocaine Nights and Super Cannes, which isn’t something I had really expected when I was watching videos of slap fighting at the top of the piece (honestly, the knockouts are TERRIFYING).
  • The Smoke of the Land Went Up: Finally this week, a beautiful short story by Andrew Cominelli about sex, money, the environment, transience, place, belonging and all that jazz – I really, really enjoyed this and I think you will too.

By Chet Zar

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

Webcurios 24/05/24

Reading Time: 41 minutes

Are you excited? Are you tumescent with rising anticipation! THAT’S RIGHT EVERYONE, WE GET TO DO ANOTHER DEMOCRACY!!!

Thing is, my obvious happiness at getting rid of this shower of dreadful cnuts who have fcuked the country in half over the course of the past 14 years is somewhat mitigated by the p1ss-weak nature of their likely replacements and the very real fact that, for a significant proportion of those set to be defenestrated from Parliament, this will make not one marginal iota of difference to their lives and circumstances – in fact, for a lot of them, it will be a net benefit. Do you think Messers Hunt, Rees-Mogg, Shapps et al will give anything resembling a flying one when they hear the bell toll on July 4th? No, they won’t, because they and so many of the rest of these appalling, double-figure-IQ mediocrities are INCREDIBLY FCUKING RICH, and will in fact be at liberty to become considerably moreso at the point they are no longer ‘constrained’ (lol) by the fact of being, at least in theory, a public servant.

Anyway, fcuk the tories, kick them so hard they can’t get back up again for a decade or so at the very least, and pray to god that the incoming lot are marginally-less milquetoast in the face of corporate interests than I fear they will in fact be.

(a note to the non-English reading this – yes, I know you don’t give two fcuks about the democratic process taking place in a country that can best be described as ‘second tier’ (on a good day) but please indulge my momentary excitement at the thought of not having to hear from Rishi Sunak ever again. Oh, by the way, my personal money is on that stumpy little nonentity ending up at Andreessen Horowitz come August, so let’s see shall we).

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and I promise you will get significantly less swearing over the course of the next 10,000 words or so (sorry about the length, again).

By Jordan Bolton (images this week all courtesy of This Isn’t Happiness)

WE BEGIN THIS WEEK WITH A SET BY OPPIDAN FROM TON OF BRIX IN LONDON LAST MONTH, WHICH IS AN HOUR OF PROPERLY BRILLIANT DJING AND SOME TOP-NOTCH TUNES (AND, JUDGING BY SOME OF THE FACES ON THE KIDS UP AT THE FRONT, A PLEASING COUNTERPOINT TO THE WHOLE ‘YOUNG PEOPLE ARE PO-FACED MORALISTS WHO DON’T DO DRUGS’ MYTH)!

THE SECTION WHICH IS GOING TO BE REALLY DISAPPOINTED IF ALL OF YOU WORKING IN AGENCIES WITH A LOBBYING OR PA FUNCTION DON’T DO SOMETHING AT LEAST MARGINALLY INTERESTING OR PSEUDO-CREATIVE WITH THE MANIFESTOS AND LLMs, PT.1:  

  • World Sim Redux: Ok, so *technically* this is a repost, but given that a) the original site went offline about 72h after I put it in Curios a little while back; b) it’s now on a slightly different url; and c) it now has a whole additional side to it, I feel it’s ok to remind you of its existence – also, it is still slightly-mindblowing to me. Per my last writeup, “Imagine a text adventure in which the whole premise is ‘you’re god. On Day 0 of creation. GO!’ – well that’s what this is. Built on some LLM – I think it’s using Claude – this is one of the most amazing, dizzying, silly, brilliant applications of the tech that I’ve seen in ages – to be clear, it is utterly pointless, but it is also SO beautifully set up. Tell the programme to create humans – watch and see what sort of humans it creates. After creating the heavens and the earth, land and sea, I asked for some fauna and the system became bizarrely obsessed with developing a unicorn-based economy for my humans to exploit. Create plagues! Create existential conundra! Tell every single living creature they must engage in blood sacrifice to avoid the wrath of the capricious, all-seeing God-creature that oversees their every waking moment! I spent about an hour with this this week and I can’t stress enough how wonderful it is – I strongly advise you to just leave it in a tab and pop back in when you fancy messing with an imaginary universe at a deep, even cellular, level.” This is still quite, quite incredible – and now, on landing,  you get to choose whether to go straight into the ‘imagine the infinity of creation and then start fcuking with it like some sort of capricious deity’ bit or whether instead to play around with an AI-enabled website imaginer, which does something similar to another link from a few weeks back and lets you get the machine to ‘imagine’ websites about whatever you want it to. This is…I don’t know, most stuff pertaining to AI and creativity leaves me very cold, but I find the possibilities and the sheer scale of the ‘imagining’ happening here to be really quite spectacular. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m just going to go and inflict some plagues on my medieval peasants and see what happens (turns out that having complete godlike dominion over a planet’s worth of nonexistent AI-generated ‘people’ is also a surprisingly decent way of unearthing any sort of latent psychoses you might be harbouring!).
  • Brainbridge: I’ve been vaguely aware this week of the resurrection of the (mad, utterly implausible) ‘we can do head transplants now!’ story, but until I opened my emails this morning and saw this great tip from Mike Hurl (THANKYOU MIKE HURL!) I wasn’t aware that the lunatics claiming to be able to LITERALLY SWAP YOUR HEAD ONTO ANOTHER BODY also have a website – and WHAT a website it is! “Safer. Faster. Reliable”, it claims (safer than…safer than what? The previous attempts at doing this sort of thing, presumably undertaken by Nazi scientists and charming funsters like Princess Bathory?). You’ll be reassured that the tech is ‘AI Powered’ – no details as to what sort of AI, but, well, FCUKIT IT’S AI! – and possibly excited to learn that not only do they say they can CUT YOUR HEAD OFF AND PUT IT ON SOMEONE ELSE’S NECK, but also that they are working on solutions that will enable full face transplants, boasting of “face and scalp transplantation to restore functionality and aesthetic appearance. Younger donor tissues reduce the risk of rejection and enhance appearance” (…anyone else here vaguely-unsettled by the potential implications of ‘younger donor tissue’?), and, apparently…some sort of neuralink-like brain/computer interface? Or telepathy? It’s really hard to tell, but there’s definitely something a bit esoteric-sounding about the claim to enable people to “execute tasks independently using their thoughts.” This is gloriously, wonderfully, utterly batsh1t – so I can imagine each and every one of you is currently reading this thinking “Matt, tell me how I can possibly get involved with this organisation so very obviously at the vanguard and cutting edge (lol) of medical science!”. You’ll be gratified to know that they are ‘recruiting’ – it’s unclear from the website whether that’s for staff or for guinea pigs, but don’t let that trifling uncertainty put you off signing up!
  • Tactical Vote: For those of you in the UK, a website to help you work out how best to use your ballot on July 4th to get rid of these fcuking cunts and replace them with…well, frankly another pretty uninspiring bunch of mediocrities, but a change is as good as a rest. Right? This is one of a number of tactical voting sites you can choose from – I’ve included this one because it seems relatively free of any weird or creepy subtexts, unlike this other one which is being fronted up by some genuinely dreadful Twitter politics egotists (and, bizarrely, my mate Jon), but there are multiple others available – but, frankly, it doesn’t matter where you get your tactical voting advice from so much as it does that we all do the right thing and make sure that the Conservative Party gets its ar$e handed to it, electorally-speaking. In all likelihood it won’t make much difference to anything – if you’d like a small insight into why I think that, email me and ask me about exactly who Sir Keir Starmer and Ed Miliband had a meeting with 18 months ago, and what they said in that meeting – but at least you will have tried, and that’s basically all we can ever do.
  • The Obliquiscope: Ok, full disclosure – this is a) a link to something you have to pay for; and b) the person who makes it is a friend of mine. BUT! I love both the idea, and the execution, and I get the feeling a few of you will do so too. The Obliquiscope is a small bit of coloured perspex and its sole purpose is to make you THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING AT. Which is a small thing, but it’s a nice reminder to think critically about everything and that simple questions are always worth asking, even about things that you think are familiar and known and banal. I’ve had one of these for a while, but now they are COMMERCIALLY AVAILABLE and they’re just a nice, pleasing object which I think lots of you who work in strategy and planning and made-up jobs of that ilk might like, or which might tickle the brain of a particular type of curious teenager in interesting ways.
  • XOXOFest: Hm, ok, so this is ANOTHER link to something you have to pay for, and ANOTHER link to something by someone I sort-of know – sorry! I promise Web Curios is not about to become one of those incredibly fcuking irritating newsletters which tries to sell you stuff! I have nothing to sell but my sou…oh, no, sold that in 1997, fcuk’s sake! – but I think loads of you might be interested in this. XOXOFest is ‘an experimental festival for independent artists and creators who work on the web’, taking place in Portland, Oregon, USA (sorry, you probably didn’t need the elaboration there, but I thought it worth making it very clear to people in the UK that this is FORRIN) in August, which brings together all sorts of interesting people who make the sorts of things that I write about in here every week, for talks and music and I think a general sense of Slightly Geeky (and probably moderately-socially-awkward) Fun Times! It’s worth taking a look at the lineup and seeing who some of the people involved are – Mollie White, for example, Ryan Broderick, people from The Pudding, Annie Rauwerda from Depths of Wikipedia – to get an idea of the general vibe, but I think if you Make Things On The Web then this will generally be right up your street. XOXO has been dormant for a few years, and the affection its held in and the lineup mean that it’s likely to be enormously-oversubscribed, so they’re operating a ballot system for tickets (which are $250 for the whole thing, which feels pretty decent value) – you have til 29 May to apply for one, should you fancy popping along.
  • Unitree G1: Do you have a spare $16k (minimum) knocking around? Would you like to use that money to purchase a bipedal, vaguely-humanoid robot? WHY?!?! Still, if the answer to that question was, inexplicably, ‘yes please!’ then you will be thrilled by the Unitree G1 – this is basically a Boston Dynamics ripoff from China, at a fraction of the cost, but which, based on what I’ve read and the videos on the site, also has…significantly-less functionality. Would you like a robot companion that can…squat? Awkwardly flip a slice of bread into a frying pan? Stand up on its own from a prone position? WELL THEN IT’S YOUR LUCKY DAY! I asked a few friends what they thought the point of this was, and the universal replies were basically along the lines of ‘some weirdo is going to try and fcuk it’ – which, honestly, if anyone attempts ANY sort of congress with this, based on the less-than-subtle motor control exhibited in the promo materials, they are going to be well on the way to nullodom before you can scream “DEAR GOD NO LET GO OF IT AAAAAAAAAARGH”.
  • A Quite Impressive Bit Of AI Animation: To be clear, the output here isn’t that impressive – it still looks janky, and it’s very short – but what *is* is the workflow involved, and the simplicity of it, and how quickly the ability to do this stuff is evolving. Basically what’s going here is someone filmed some footage of themselves walking about, mocapped themselves, turned that mocap into a cartoon, then inserted that cartoon into a static image from Midjourney – all using simple, free(ish) tools that have been developed over the past few months. This sort of stuff feels like the Good AI, if there is such a thing – augmenting the creative impulse rather than striving to replace it – and I am really curious to see what genuinely mad stuff teenagers are going to start making with these things in the next year or so. If you ‘do video’ or ‘visual content stuff’ it really is worth having a read of this (short) Twitter thread, because the potential here is insane.
  • Generating 3d Landscapes From Cartoons: Vaguely-related to the above, this is a paper rather than anything you can play with but contains enough examples of what the tech is that you can get the idea – all very early and shonky and experimental, but the general idea here is about using AI to generate 3d models of an environment (in this case, interiors) from visuals from cartoons; so, for example, creating a 3d flythrough of the Simpsons’ house from a bunch of clips of the show. Which, if you stop to think about it, is kind of mindblowing.
  • Oakley Future Genesis: Earlier this year I featured a very shiny…pseudo-game-thing by Oakley, called Project 2075, set in some sort of future in which overdesigned sunglasses were the key to the future survival of the human race (or something – I confess to not being wholly across the detail here). I was curious as to What It Was All About, and it turns out that it is in fact part of a wider TRANSMEDIA (hello, 2009!) project spanning animation and a run of comic books and, eventually, god knows what else. This is the overall project site, from which you can jump into either the previously-linked Project 2075 thing, or watch the animations which explain the story and introduce the characters and, I presume, provide a bridging point to the graphic novels. The animations are all done in (I think) Unreal Engine, and are pretty high-end – the facial models in particular are really impressive – but, equally, I am already a bit jaded by the ‘LOOK AT ALL THE CHARACTERS’ REMARKABLY COOL AND INEVITABLY-PLOT-SIGNIFICANT BRANDED EYEWEAR’ gimmick. Still, it’s interesting to see a brand doing this 15 years after people like me got all frothy about this sort of cross-platform branded storytelling, and I’ll be interested to see how/if it evolves and what other elements get introduced, and if anyone gives anything resembling a fcuk – feels like a lot of money’s gone into this, and I have to say that this quote from some Oakley marketing guy makes me…quite sad inside: “Chapter One follows Max Fearlight, symbolizing Oakley’s legacy, as he undergoes an evolution parallel to the brand” – I mean, that just SCREAMS satisfying narrative, doesn’t it?
  • Fadr: MORE AI MUSIC TOOLS AND TOYS! Except this one’s slightly different – rather than like, say, Suno, which is aiming squarely at the ‘MAKE SONGS WITH THE MACHINE WITHOUT NEEDING ANY PEOPLE!’ market, Fadr is positioning itself more as a suite of AI-enabled tools to allow you to mess with and manipulate music; so offering you AI-powered remixing tools, or stem retrieval, or creating a sound palette that you can then subsequently play with…basically it’s a sidekick for producers rather than a replacement for them, and on that basis might be worth a look for any of you who make music or want to see if The Machine can finally turn your tin-eared noodlings into something vaguely-approximating to ‘tunes’.
  • Daylight Computer: Oh ffs, this is ANOTHER ‘link to maybe buy something’ – really sorry about this – but, I promise, it does look really interesting and genuinely innovative. Daylight Computer is a type of tablet which rather than having a standard screen is instead running (what looks like) a lightning-fast e-ink display, making the whole experience of surfing and browsing and reading generally softer and gentler – amazingly (to me, at least) it runs at the same sort of performance as a normal tablet, and it can play video and games and do all the things you’d expect, as well as acting as a writing pad (with stylus), and it has an app ecosystem meaning you can run Spotify, etc, on it…I have seen NO REVIEWS or writeups of this at all, and so I am not for a second suggesting you rush out and spend your hard-won pennies on it (particularly based on the…less-than-stellar reception granted to every single other bit of novel hardware released this year), but it looks really interesting and I’m fascinated to hear whether or not it is in fact any good.
  • Rip Entire YouTube Playlists: Or individual songs, but it’s the ‘get an entire playlist of songs from YouTube in mp3 format’ functionality here that struck me as really rather useful. Free, clean and, as far as I can tell from a limited time spent kicking the tires, actually does what it’s meant to.
  • Sails of Success: I know that for many people in Our Strange and Hideous Modern Age, the use of motivational mantras and affirmations and all that sort of thing is part of daily life – I don’t condone it, I don’t understand it, but I am aware that some people like that sort of thing. Whatever provides you the crutch you need! Should you be in the market for that sort of thing, if you feel that what’s holding you back from achieving your full, miraculous potential is an absence of bland pabulum cribbed from the worst self-help garbage in the world, coupled with some I-think-questionable-Joker-ish vibes – then you will LOVE Sails of Success, a TikTok channel which seems to exist solely to post AI-generated clips featuring, er, fictional pirate Jack Sparrow and a voice over which says things like “YES YOU CUT THEM OFF…BUT THEY GAVE YOU THE SCISSORS” in a bleak robotic monotone. I think this is possibly quite bad news, but, equally, it made me do a couple of horrified laughs, so see what you think.
  • British Museum x NewJeans: I am including this simply because I think it’s really smart by the British Museum and I haven’t seen it covered anywhere – they have collaborated with insanely popular KPOP group NewJeans to create a special audio tour of the museum’s collection, or at least some of the highlights, voiced by the band. Which, given the Kpop wave, is just a really neat way of immediately appealing to a completely new demographic which, it’s fair to say, probably wouldn’t be rushing to download the audiotour (or even visit the museum).
  • The Rural Indexing Project: I found this significantly more interesting than I expected to, and maybe you will too: “Rural communities are dispersed across the American landscape. The buildings and streetscapes in these places are a repository for visual trends—historical, architectural, and social—that relate to aspects of commercial, municipal, and private life. Rural Indexing Project (RIP) documents these trends as they exist in the built environment. RIP originated in 2010, and continues to document locations to this day. Roughly 1,200 communities in 25 states have been documented to date, and new material is added to the site frequently.“
  • Automated eBooks: Basically any search for a book on any topic on Amazon now is polluted by pages and pages and pages of AI-generated dreck, attempting to make a quid or two from buyers too lazy or careless or stupid to realise that they are shelling out for the product of a (not even very good) LLM. How is this stuff being spun up so quickly and at such immense scale? Well, services like this one are partly to blame – for a ‘small fee’, this site will not only generate a 100-pageish book on any topic you like, but will also help you come up with ‘ideas’ for your next terrible, AI-generated non-book. This is SO BLEAK – really, click the link and scroll down a bit and have a look at the workflow here, and then imagine the quality of what’s going to get vomited out. I have quite bad feelings about what is going to result from the sheer volume of this rubbish that is flooding the web.
  • FestGPS: Festival season is upon us! For those of you who fancy the idea of spending several hundred quid to get rained on in a field (I am being grumpy, festivals are fun, apart from Wilderness which is full of some of the worst advermarketingprcnuts in the UK, all kidding themselves that they are ‘creative’ because they make powerpoints for a living, cosplaying at being whimsical while hoovering up industrial quantities of gak), FestGPS is a really interesting idea. Connect it to your spotify account and it will ‘analyse your music taste’, cross-reference it with festival lineups from across the world, and suggest those events which might best fit your likes. As I might have mentioned in the past, I don’t really use Spotify and as such I have no data for it to draw on, and as such I can’t vouch for the quality of the recommendations, but this is free and seems like it might be worth a play.
  • The Map Of Spoons Prices: Wetherspoons, rather than utensils – this is a map which shows you the price of the cheapest pint in all of the Wetherspoons pubs around the UK, and it is INCREDIBLY USEFUL. On the one hand, I am not a fan of Wetherspoons as a business; on the other, you can’t sniff at the prospect of separating yourself from your consciousness for less than £20 for 8 pints.
  • A Brief Moment of Authorial Self-Indulgence: LOL THIS IS ALL AUTHORIAL SELF-INDULGENCE YOU DREADFUL PR1CK, MATT! This week, for reasons I forget, I was digging out an old link from Curios passim and found the temporary blog I set up after I left H+K and before Imperica were kind enough to house me; this is the resurrected copy of the final blog I wrote on the Hill+Knowlton corporate website after I quit my job (which was deleted approximately 45m after I published it, for reasons which you will probably understand should you click through and read it),  and, honestly, WHAT A TIME MACHINE IT IS. It then induced me to go back to the internet archive and dig out the original posts from 2010-12, and I found this one, and, honestly, I am ASTONISHED that a major multinational communications company owned by WPP ever let me publish this stuff. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? What was *I* thinking (other, obviously, than “I really hate a significant part of my working life”)? Anyway, all this self-indulgent w4nk is in part just that, but also to say that it’s actually really interesting to go back to about 2010/11 and see what I was linking to and what I was saying about it – not because I was smart, or funny, or any good, but more because it’s a really interesting look at what was ‘trendy’ in digital marketing, and what I thought was going to be BIG and what I was completely, totally wrong about (ARGs! Location-based social!). It’s also sort-of sad how much of the stuff I linked to just doesn’t exist anymore – sic transit gloria mundi, innit. Anyway, this made me really misty-eyed the other day, and made me also feel quite guilty about what a total pr1ck I evidently was to work with and to ‘manage’, and I am, retrospectively, very sorry for being such a total d1ck.

By Alex Eckman-Lawn

A MUSICAL CHANGE OF PACE NOW WITH THE NEW SOLO ALBUM BY BETH GIBBONS WHO REALLY DOES POSSESS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL VOICES! 

THE SECTION WHICH IS GOING TO BE REALLY DISAPPOINTED IF ALL OF YOU WORKING IN AGENCIES WITH A LOBBYING OR PA FUNCTION DON’T DO SOMETHING AT LEAST MARGINALLY INTERESTING OR PSEUDO-CREATIVE WITH THE MANIFESTOS AND LLMs, PT.2:    

  • The Snoop Memorabilia Auction: It’s long nee known that Snoop will do seemingly ANYTHING for money – no brand collaboration too tawdry, no grift too base – so it’s no huge surprise to see him flogging off a bunch of tat for cash. If you have ever wanted to own, say, his old Death Row Records chain (current bid $1700!), or the outfit he wore at Wrestlemania 2023 ($905!) then WOW ARE YOU IN LUCK! This has about a week or so to run, so I would imagine the prices are going to rise a bit, but if you dig through there’s actually some pretty interesting memorabilia from Snoop’s golden era scattered amongst the frankly ludicrous amount of branded tie-in tat (a first edition Snoop FunkoPop, anyone?).
  • The Ancient Greek Farm Simulator: This is *slightly* more interesting in idea than in execution, but it’s an interesting glimpse of one of the ways in which we’re going to see AI used more and more – this is basically a build of the quite remarkable ‘Smallville’ village simulator which I linked to last year, in which a bunch of AI agents with their own motivations, etc, were set loose in a small simulated environment to see how they interacted, developed relationships, displayed emergent behaviours, etc, except here it’s an ancient Greek farm. Meet Lycidas the goat herd and the other residents, and watch as they go about their tasks – farming, chatting, falling in love…you as the player can ‘interact’ with them, but in common with all LLM dialogue to date it’s hard to get them to say anything interesting, and I personally didn’t find I was given enough ability to see ‘inside the heads’ (if you will) of the agents as I would have liked. Still, this is a really interesting branch of AI research and investigation, and I’m fascinated to see how this sort of thing develops as the tech improves – you can read more about it here if you’re interested (there are also sims of a Roman fishing village and somewhere in Ancient Egypt, should you prefer a slightly different flavour of AI-simulated history).
  • Professional Lunch: ANOTHER friend link, and one that’s probably only really of use if you live in London or come here regularly – that said, if that is YOU and you like eating at restaurants, and you’re lucky enough to be able to afford to do so, then this is GREAT. Marshall Manson is a Texan in London, and he enjoys lunch – so he has started this newsletter, where he writes twice a week about…good places to have lunch. Marshall is a significantly more grown-up and professional human being than I am, and as such he writes from the perspective of someone who’s doing ‘business lunches’ (or at least who isn’t planning on doing a three-bottler), but even if that’s not your thing he is an excellent judge of food and I can vouch for a significant number of his recommendations.
  • No Web Without Women: A website celebrating innovations by women in the field of computer science, as a reminder that, despite the persistently c0ck-heavy vibe of much of compsci and webtech, a lot of it is built on the work of women. From Lovelace to Lamarr to Roberta Williams and beyond, this is a lovely and potentially-inspiring look at how various women have had a significant impact across a wide range of disciplines which are often lazily and sexist…ly (?Not a word, but it should be) male-coded.
  • Maecenium: This is…weird, and I get quite bad vibes from it but I can’t quite articulate why. On the surface, it’s a charitable foundation dedicated to the promotion of STEM and to provide funding to research – per the site, its mission is “to support and promote the pursuit of knowledge and innovation in various fields of natural and social science, including but not limited to biology, personalized medicine, chemistry, physics, mathematics, engineering, and history. We believe that scientific research plays a crucial role in solving complex problems, improving lives, and shaping the future of humanity…One of our main goals at Maecenium is to identify and support innovative, high-impact scientific projects. We believe that breakthroughs often come from thinking outside the box and exploring new ideas. Through our rigorous selection process, we identify projects that have the potential to make a significant impact and provide them with the necessary resources to thrive. Through our support, we aim to enable scientists to focus on their research without the burden of financial constraints. We believe that by investing in scientific research, we can unlock new discoveries, innovations, and solutions to some of the world’s most pressing challenges.” Which sounds good, right? So why do I get such bad vibes from the site? I think it’s in part the name – I now get the fantods about stuff that has this faux-antiquity vibe and a near-immediate assumption that it’s trying to trojan horse some pretty fashy thinking – and in part all the AI-imagery on the site, the fact that while only talking in the very vaguest of terms about what the fcuk it is that they want to fund or do, if you dig into the site they seem to be requesting donations at a minimum of £10k…oh, and the fact that a bit of digging suggests that the founder, one Katherine Yovanovich, PhD, seemingly has no other online presence anywhere other than on this site, which feels…weird for a supposed academic. Do any of you happen to have a clue? Am I being unfair, or am I right and is this very fcuking dodgy indeed?
  • The American Diary Project: Who doesn’t love reading other people’s diaries? NO FCUKER…actually, is that true or is it just that I am a terrible voyeur? Hm. Anyway, this isn’t creepy or voyeuristic at all, promise – instead, it’s a project designed to archive the personal journals of people from the US throughout history. “The American Diary Project was founded in October of 2022 with one simple vision: Rescue diaries and preserve the writing of everyday Americans. From our founder and executive director, Kate Zirkle: “One crisp fall day in October, I was updating my last will and testament when I was struck by the question of what to do with my journals after I pass. Should I leave them to someone? Should I burn them? Should I donate them? These questions lead me down a fruitless internet search—I just couldn’t find a suitable place to archive my writings in the U.S. Upon this discovery, I felt an instant, electric surge of “I WOULD LOVE TO DO THAT” and thus, the American Diary Project was born.”” It’s still pretty new, and not STUFFED with content, but there are examples of diaries from the past 300 years on the site and there is something just wonderful, to me at least, about going wandering around through the past thoughts and feelings and memories and fears and dreams of these strangers.
  • The Talk: You may have seen a clip doing the rounds this week of a purported conversation between Robin Williams and Philip Seymour Hoffman, about the existential horror of being alive – at one point it was being shared EVERYWHERE with all sorts of commentary about how moving it was and how DEEP, and, honestly, I don’t personally understand how the fcuk anyone didn’t see through it immediately (sorry, but I didn’t) but, obviously, IT WAS NOT REAL!!! In fact, it was an out-of-context excerpt from this series of videos, called The Talk, by Danish artist Jonas Hollerup Helle. The link here takes you to the youTube channel for the project, which features a bunch of similar imagined chats – Chris Rock and Will Smith, Cher and David Lynch, etc etc – which are produced, as far as I can tell, by editing together clips from completely unconnected interviews into a semi-coherent-seeming conversation. I think it’s worth having a think about what this implies for people’s likely susceptibility to AI content – I mean, look, just watch one of these things and it’s clear to anyone paying even an iota of attention that there is no dialogue happening, that the phrases spoken barely relate to each other, that there’s no interaction between the participants…and yet lots of people didn’t notice at all. Which isn’t to say people are stupid so much as it is to say that we simply don’t pay attention, and that that’s going to mean we’re on the cusp of some VERY interesting consequences when AI duping of faces and voices gets just a tiny, tiny bit better.
  • The Communal Plot: Via Giuseppe, this is SUCH a good idea and a lovely interface/visualisation to boot. Every day, the site throws up two different questions plotted across two axes – today’s, for example, is ‘do you prefer non-fiction or mystery novels?’ and ‘do you prefer country or pop music?’ – which you’re invited to answer by placing yourself on an appropriate space on the plot. Pick your spot and you’re shown how you compare to everyone else who’s answered that day’s question. That’s it -but it’s elegant and interesting, and I really like the correlations it can occasionally throw up, and I think there’s something here which might be worth exploring further for data analysts and the like.
  • Puzzle Canon: This very much falls into the category of ‘things I think are interesting but I really don’t understand AT ALL’ (it’s a big category, growing by the fcuking second) – (very) basically, puzzle canons are musical riddles, sort-of compositional in-jokes or challenges designed to test a musician’s ability to interpret clues within musical notation (I think). From the site’s own description: “”Puzzle canon,” “riddle canon,” “Ratselkanon,” “Enigmatic canon,” “closed canon,” all these terms refer to a sort of canon that is sufficiently strict that a single written melody can represent two or more performed melodies! One of these melodies might be the retrograde of the other, or upside-down, or higher or lower, twice as fast or slow. Only the imagination is the limit. many more possibilities exist. What kinds of clever things have Bach, Mozart and others tried? What other kinds of puzzle canons exist? Who are the unsung heroes of canon from Medieval times to the present? The puzzlecanon website is the place to find out!” The only issue I have with this is that it is VERY MUCH designed for real musicians – it’s all displayed as staves, there’s no audio to give you a reference as to what these things sound like when you get them ‘right’ vs ‘wrong’, and, as such, unless you can read music and ‘hear’ it in your head (which I very much can’t) it might remain a mystery to you. Can someone who understands this please explain it to me in a manner that a cloth-eared moron like me might comprehend?
  • Osbcurify: Another Spotify plugin, this time analysing your account to see how obscure or otherwise, compared I presume to majority streaming habits based on raw numbers, your tastes are – it also gives you information about how this is changing over time, whether you’re tending to listen to more or less ‘energetic’ music than you used to, all that sort of jazz. Potentially interesting if you like quantifying every aspect of your life, or if you’d like to keep an eye on what your ‘Wrapped’ selection is going to look like for the purposes of gaming it to make you look more ‘interesting’ based on your taste in, I don’t know, deathcore from the Faroe Islands.
  • Share Textures: ANYONE WHO DOES ANYTHING INVOLVING CG AND 3d MODELING / DESIGN – THIS IS FOR YOU! “Since 2018, we’ve been sharing textures that are free from copyright restrictions. Our collection now includes over 1500 free textures, 200 3D Models, and 50 atlases, and it keeps growing, thanks to our patrons. You don’t need to register or pay, just select an asset and click the download button. You can able to download them up to 4K resolution.” This is an incredible resource and SO GENEROUS, bless whoever’s behind it.
  • Slosh: I don’t quite understand the recent American obsession with ‘hard seltzer’ – we did alcopops 30 years ago ffs, why are you doing them again but…sh1tter? – but I am slightly obsessed with the website for new range ‘Slosh’. I don’t want to drink a single one of the available flavours (they all do that very, very North American thing of having incredibly-incongruous combinations that sound…too much, something I always find on restaurant menus in the States as well – also, black cherry and lime is, objectively, a nasty-sounding mix), but I absolutely adore the frankly insane overegging of the site – there is SO MUCH going on here, from the different types of interactivity to the music to the animations to the fact that you can pick a flavour to ‘explore’ by playing an actual game of 3d ‘beer pong’ (it’s not very good, and it’s quite annoying, but WHAT commitment!). Basically this feels like the designers all got very, very baked and just went with it, which I personally think is the sort of aesthetic all digital projects should lean into a little harder.
  • No Disposable Barbeques: Look, absolutely no shade to whoever is behind this campaign – I am sure there are lots of good reasons why disposable bbqs are a bad thing, from an environmental and safety perspective – but I find the single-issue nature of this Twitter account, going since 2020, genuinely amusing.
  • Acousitc Location and Sound Mirrors: I guarantee you that unless you are already aware of what the words in the link refer to that you WILL NOT be able to guess the sorts of devices and contraptions that are commemorated on this website. LOOK AT THE ILLUSTRATIONS! Honestly, I cried laughing at some of these.
  •  I, The Moon, The Star: I don’t quite know how to describe this – a sort of digital poem, I think – but it’s lovely. Change the words in the phrase via the drop-downs and see how the site responds – aside from anything else I really love the UI here, as well as the resulting imagery and how it fuzzes into focus.
  • Sister Mary Blaze: Look, this is religious propaganda – I KNOW I KNOW – but, equally, it’s a fcuking nun on TikTok, and who doesn’t love some of that incongruity? NO FCUKER, etc! Sister Mary Blaze is…is she a real nun? I don’t want to dig into it too deeply, but she dances to popular songs – there’s a recent vid of her doing a routine to the BBL Drizzy beat which is quite the thing – and generally seems Quite Online, and I haven’t checked into the comments but I wouldn’t be surprised to see an awful lot of children in the mentions praising her for ‘serving cnut’. It’s very much THAT sort of account, and your mileage will vary depending on the extent to which you enjoy the cognitive dissonance of a woman you’d expect to be doing a rosary and maybe polishing an apse (NOT A EUPHEMISM!) doing very, very self-aware content marketing.
  • J1zzy Jewellery: I’m not sure whether ‘j1zzy’ is the sort of thing that will get spam or profanity filtered, but let’s play it safe. Anyway, for clarity, this is a site which allows you to commission custom jewellery MADE FROM SEMEN (or breastmilk, apparently, elsewhere on the page) – per the vendors, “Whether you are marking your fertility journey, getting a vasectomy gift, surprising your partner or just want to be that much closer, we can turn your j1zz into a real gem! We love being inclusive over in the Trinkets world so both male and female j1zz can be used! (YOU MUST PROVIDE YOUR OWN SAMPLES)” – the last bit of that really finished me. Anyway, if you fancy spaffing into a jar and sending sad spaff to some strangers to be transmuted (via some mysterious process they don’t really elaborate on, from what I can tell) into very, very milky-looking ‘gemstones’ to hang on a pendant or wear on a ring or something then BOY are you in the right place. They’re unclear on volumes required, which feels like something of an omission (an ‘emission omission’, if you will, which I imagine you won’t – sorry about that), but this seems entirely legit (or as legit as you could ever say a business designed to sell you jewellery made of spunk could ever be) and as such, well, here you are!
  • Consider The Consequences: Finally this week, a genuine historical Curio updated for the digital age – Consider the Consequences “originally published in 1930 was written by  Doris Webster and Mary Alden Hopkins and is the earliest known published work of fiction that offers branching paths.  This style of fiction would go on to give rise to Choose Your Own Adventure books, Infocom text adventure games, and of course, the incredibly popular field of modern Interactive Fiction.”  It’s been replicated in Twine, and you can play it at this link, and it’s such an interesting look at mores and customs of a century ago, and it’s worth exploring, both because of its status as a precursor to basically any ‘branching narrative’ experience of the now and the way it shines a light on the social concerns of the interwar era in North America. Also, it’s a nice palate-cleanser after all that talk of j1zz.

By Photo in Moz

OUR FINAL MUSICAL PICK THIS WEEK IS THE MOST RECENT RELEASE FROM DAVID SHANE SMITH WHOSE ANGULAR-BUT-BEAUTIFUL SONGS I HAVE BEEN ENJOYING SINCE HE FIRST KINDLY EMAILED ME SOME IN AROUND 2008! 

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

  • 80s Anime: Stills and gifs culled from anime from (mostly) the 80s – this is a lovely collection (not, as far as I can tell from a brief look, run by someone with an unhealthy interest in the seamier side of the medium) and has some gorgeous examples of some fantastic artists’ work.

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • Adventures in Jelly: Via Jana at Zuckerbaeckerei, this is SUCH a lovely Insta feed – would you like to see loads of pictures of moulded jelly desserts and the occasionally video of them wobbling? OF COURSE YOU WOULD! These are so, so pleasing, and while I’m conscious that there’s a vanishing number of you for whom this is likely to tickle a scratch a peculiar fetishistic itch, be safe in the knowledge that I will NEVER KNOW and can never judge.
  • Museum Bums: An account existing solely to celebrate bums in museums. Genuinely astonished I haven’t featured this before, it is PERFECT insta.
  • Cafe Good Day: Craig Mod is doing one of his Japanese walks again at the moment, and his daily emails from the road are just wonderful – I’m not a particular Japanophile or anything, he’s just so so so good at writing about the flow state that you get into when walking long distances, and about the people he meets and their stories, and the things he sees, and it’s just glorious. Anyway, this is the Insta feed of a small cafe that he found on one leg of his insane, 30km day yomps, and while it’s not remarkable in any way it is also just incredibly soothing and I thought you might enjoy it.
  • Who Designed This Garbage?: Photos of discarded designer goods packaging in NYC. No, I don’t really understand why either.
  • Turkish Sh1tposting: A window into being VERY ONLINE in another culture and language – I fcuking adore this, even if I have no idea what the everliving fcuk a good proportion of the posts mean. It’s not all Turkish – there’s some Russian stuff in there, some from Arabic nations – but the general point is ‘look at how other people do this stuff, and how it is familiar and yet very different’. Via Pietro’s always-excellent Link Molto Belli.

LONG THINGS THAT ARE LONG!

  • My Last Five Years Of Work: I had a conversation on Twitter this week about AI and jobs – the person I was talking to was less worried about the whole thing that I am, but they are smart and know what they are talking about, and I am happy to be disagreed with by someone who I know knows what they are talking about. At some point, though, some bloke popped up to say ‘well people have been telling me for years that AI will replace me and it’s not happened, so I think you’re talking rubbish’ (I paraphrase, but). I was curious as to who this person was, so I checked and THEY ARE A FCUKING KING’S COUNSEL. Mate, look, you are very much in the top decile (quintile? 1%) of your profession, OF COURSE YOU’RE FINE! As I feel compelled to keep repeating until I am blue in the face, a significant number of the people peddling the ‘it’s going to be additive not substitutive!’ line seem to have no idea that a vast number of white collar workers the world over do jobs that are EXACTLY THE SORT OF INFORMATION FILLETING/TRIAGING THAT AI IS EVEN NOW PRETTY GOOD AT! Anyway, whatever your feelings on the matter, I thought this article was very interesting indeed – Avital Balwit works for Anthropic, and here writes in a personal capacity about what she thinks, being someone who’s, you know, pretty close to the whole thing. It’s worth reading the whole thing, but I think these two paras are a decent summary of her argument and I find it very, very hard to disagree with her assessment: “Given the current trajectory of the technology, I expect AI to first excel at any kind of online work. Essentially anything that a remote worker can do, AI will do better. Copywriting, tax preparation, customer service, and many other tasks are or will soon be heavily automated. I can see the beginnings in areas like software development and contract law. Generally, tasks that involve reading, analyzing, and synthesizing information, and then generating content based on it, seem ripe for replacement by language models. Obsolescence is unlikely to come for all types of work at the same pace, and even once we have “human-level AI,” the effects will look very different before and after the widespread deployment of robotics. The pace of improvements in robotics lags significantly behind cognitive automation. It is improving as well—but more slowly. Anyone who makes a living through  delicate and varied movements guided by situation specific know-how can expect to work for much longer than five more years. Thus, electricians, gardeners, plumbers, jewelry makers, hair stylists, as well as those who repair ironwork or make stained glass might find their handiwork contributing to our society for many more years to come. Regulated industries like medicine or the civil service will have human involvement for longer, but even there, I expect an increasingly small number of human workers who are increasingly supplemented with AI systems working alongside them.”
  • Agents as Translators: Ok, so this is an academic paper and as such not HUGELY readable, but it’s worth at least a skim because, honestly, what its describing is pretty insane. Effectively what the paper demonstrates is that it is possible to create a ‘translation agency’ composed of different AI agents, acting semi-autonomously to translate a text – “We establish a virtual multi-agent translation company, TRANSAGENTS, featuring a diverse range of employees including a CEO, senior editors, junior editors, translators, localization specialists, and proofreaders. When a human client assigns a book translation task, a team of selected agents from TRANSAGENTS collaborates to translate the book. This paradigm simulates the entire book translation process, where agents with different roles work together to ensure that the translation maintains high quality and consistency throughout.” So, to be clear, the human input here is ‘translate this’, and subsequently the agents SELF-ORGANISE to do the work in a way that they believe optimally meets the brief. Even more interestingly, when benchmarked by human and LLM assessment, the agent translations were rated better than both human and sole LLM work. SO interesting and quite incredibly scifi.
  • Mapping The Mind of the Model: This generated quite a lot of excitement and interest this week – Anthropic, the Claude people, published this post which explains how they are coming to develop an initial understanding of how the model ‘works’ in terms of ‘what it ‘thinks’ about when it analyses a text’. It’s complicated and quite heavy, and very much at the limit of my technical understanding, but there’s a slightly more normie-focused explainer here should you want one. BONUS TECHNICAL AI LINK! – again, this is very much at the limit of my technical understanding, but there’s something really interesting about this project which effectively enables anyone to contribute to the training set of open source LLMs, effectively meaning that anyone can work to keep the central model primed with the ‘right’ information – there’s a gitub repo with all the technical info here, but a significantly more user-friendly video explainer here should you be interested. I am curious about how this guards against deliberate sabotage/pollution, but as a way of course correcting biases and lacunae it strikes me as a clever solution (thanks to Former Editor Paul for the link).
  • An Interview With Sunder Pichai: About the AI search and AI in general – I’ll be honest, this made me profoundly sad about the future of the web because it is very clear that Pichai does not give two single fcuks about the potential degradation of the quality of the general online experience as long as Google maintains market dominance (which is why he is CEO of one of the largest companies ever to have existed and I, as you know, am a webmong writing an overlong newsletter no cnut reads while sitting in his pants in his kitchen). The tenor of the answers in particular is miserable, a particular form of corpospeak that will be familiar to anyone who’s ever worked in corporate comms, and in general it doesn’t exactly fill me with joy for the next decade or so of internetspelunking. I think we need another way.
  • The MS Copilot Stuff: MORE AI COMING TO EVERYTHING! This is basically the big ad for the new AI PCs that Microsoft announced this week, but also contains more detail on the feature that everyone was getting all frothy about this week – to whit, the ability to remember EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER DONE ON YOUR COMPUTER, EVER, and let you find it via natural language search. I have seen a lot of people suggesting this is a PRIVACY NIGHTMARE, which I’m not quite sure I agree with – the stuff’s only stored locally rather than in the cloud, and because of space restrictions it will only go back three months, max – but I do think that the security vulnerabilities you will be exposed to if you lose your laptop or it gets nicked should make everyone think twice about enabling it. Anyway, it won’t be an issue for 99% of people who don’t want to spend a small fortune on a brand new PC, so maybe don’t worry about it just yet.
  • The Disappearing Web: Segueing on from me talking about all the dead links in past Curios, this is a report on some research by the Pew Research Centre which found that nearly 40% of webpages from 2013 are no longer accessible. I don’t care if you think the web is STUPID AND POINTLESS (although a) I do, you are wrong; and b) if you’re reading this, I have a sneaking suspicion that you don’t think that at all), it’s impossible not to see that as deeply, deeply sad. Of course, some of it will have disappeared because whoever made it in the first place wanted it to, but a significantly larger proportion will have vanished because of platform decay or, basically, capitalism. If you consider that the volume of material published online between the early days of the web and 2013 can conservatively be estimated as FCUKING LOADS – without wishing to be hyperbolic, it would comprise a significant proportion of all human written output, I’d hazard a guess – then you get an idea of how significant that is, and why the Internet Archive should be an internationally-backed initiative under the auspices of the UN or something.
  • The End of the Internet’s Art Gallery: Semi-related, this article explains all the ways in which DeviantArt, the site that basically housed all the web’s fanart and amateur visual work for a LONG time, has basically been fcuked beyond all recognition by a combination of mismanagement, bots, AI…you can guess the rest. Again, it’s significant and sad not even because of the content that it used to house but because of what it represented – a community and a platform that celebrated amateur work, which helped inspire people’s careers and which played home to nascent cultural movements like few others – and how so much of what it provided for people simply won’t be replicated elsewhere now that everything is hypercapitalised.
  • The Netanyahu Plan: OK, I am pretty sure that this is a legit source – has this been news? Have I totally missed lots of reporting on this? Because, honestly, this strikes me as QUITE THE STORY. Click in and read the whole thing, but let me just give you a flavour: “Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s office recently released a PowerPoint that gives a glimpse into what the Likud Party has in mind for Gaza’s future, and the Levant region at large. On May 3, Netanyahu unveiled Gaza 2035: A three-step master plan to build what he calls the “Gaza-Arish-Sderot Free Trade Zone.” The plan was first reported by The Jerusalem Post and later by Al Jazeera. The Gaza-Arish-Sderot Free Trade Zone would encompass the 141 square miles that make up the Gaza Strip, where more than 34,500 Palestinians have been killed by Israeli forces in the past several months, and where experts say that famine is underway. The zone also would include the El-Arish Port to Gaza’s south in Egypt’s Sinai Peninsula and Sderot, an Israeli city north of Gaza…Today, Gaza is at the nexus of a historic trade route in the Middle East between Cairo and Baghdad, and Europe and Yemen. Gaza 2035 would capitalize upon this geography by adding new east-west rail service between Alexandria, Egypt, and Gaza City, Palestine. It would also add north-south rail service between Gaza and NEOM—the speculative $500 billion Saudi city roughly 130 miles south of Rafah. All of this connectivity would open up the opportunity for tech companies, factories, and “electric-vehicle manufacturing cities” to migrate to the Gaza-Arish-Sderot Free Trade Zone, the document said.” I mean, fcuking hell.
  • The Lack of Artistic Engagement With COVID: Apologies for linking to a Twitter thread, but it’s a really interesting one – Jessica Ellis starts by writing “Welcome to the weird era I’ve been warning about since the pandemic started with scripts, where everything is either bizarrely set in 2019 for no reason, or the year is never mentioned”, and goes on to talk about what this refusal to engage with the topic means for art and culture, and what we lose by not doing so. Smart and interesting and a bit concerning if you think about it for more than 5 minutes.
  • What 3M Did: This is VERY long, but it’s also very much worth reading because it becomes one of the more staggering examples of corporate malfeasance I’ve heard of in recent years. HOW much poison have you polluted the world with, 3M??? It is very hard to read this without thinking that a significant number of people involved with the events here mentioned ought to be in prison, and that it’s fcuking disgusting that, inevitably, they never will be.
  • Captain Corelli’s Machine Gun: Excellent essay in the LRB about Italy, fascism, its role in WWII and the country’s singular failure to ever meaningfully address the fact that IT WAS A FASCIST DICTATORSHIP. This made for uncomfortable reading for me at points, I have to say – it’s never nice to be reminded that your grandfather was part of an occupying colonial force which did some very, very bad things (although my grandad was an administrator rather than a fighter and as such was, I think and hope, only tangentially complicit rather than directly) – but it did remind me of an astonishing photo I saw of his from his time in Asmara, featuring a train of camels and soldiers rounding a scrubby hill and a massive, white Hollywood-style text sign which had been erected just above them, reading, simply, ‘DUX’. Oh, and for anyone feeling smug about the fact that their grandparents were all on the right side of history, my granddad was tortured by the English when he got captured – EVERYONE DOES BAD THINGS IN WAR, EVEN THE GOOD GUYS. Mind you, he was always an unapologetic fascist even into his 90s, so maybe he deserved it (one of the benefits of almost all of your family being dead is that you can say stuff like that with impunity).
  • Aging Global Gig Workers: I know a…I was going to say ‘surprising’, but actually given the sorts of people I know and *waves* The Way Things Are perhaps it’s not in fact that odd…anyway, I know quite a few people who at various points over the past few years have had to pick up gig work to make ends meet, whether as delivery drivers or shop assistants – this is a piece in Rest of World looking at how this is playing out around the world, and how people everywhere are having to come to terms with the fact that retirement might not ever be a thing again for the majority of the world’s people, and automation means that a lot of the ways you might have expected to be able to eke out a living as an Older Professional might not exist anymore.
  • Touching Computers: Brilliant digital creative type Spencer Chang wrote this a couple of months ago, but I totally missed it – I LOVE THIS SO SO SO MUCH. Please take a moment to read this short project explainer, in which he describes MAKING WEBSITES THAT LIVE ON PHYSICAL OBJECTS – effectively embedding an NFC chip into a piece of plaster or something that creates a physical object which, when touched with your phone, takes you to whatever site you choose, like a sort of physical digital business card…I got so excited about the possibilities of this sort of thing when reading it, maybe you will too.
  • DJs on What It Is Like In The Club Right Now: A bunch of DJs write about how the job has evolved in the age of social media and MODERNITY – I found this super-interesting as someone who doesn’t really go to clubs anymore (I am 44 years old, and I do not want to be the wild eyed man with the whirling jaw and melting face who causes all the younger people to think ‘please don’t ever let that be me’) in terms of the changing way in which Being A DJ works, and the way in which crowds and atmosphere has shifted – anecdotally, I have heard from people who are actually DJs that playing in the UK at the moment feels a bit flat compared to other countries because a) we are all miserable after 14 years of these fcuking cnuts fcuking everything up; and b) all the kids take ket, which I am sure is a fun time for them but perhaps doesn’t lend itself to the most jump-up of party atmospheres.
  • A Grand Don’t Come For Free At 20: Another great bit of writing on The Quietus, looking back at Mike Skinner’s second album and the time and place that produced it – I’d forgotten how irritatingly ubiquitous ‘Dry Your Eyes’ was that Summer, but fcuk me was it inescapable – and how Skinner influenced so much of what came after him despite noone else ever really *quite* sounding like The Streets did. Still not as good as Original Pirate Material, mind.
  • Being Tradwife: For Eater Magazine, Amy McCarthy spends a weekend trying to ape the sort of ULTRADOMESTICITY evidenced by the most iconic of tradwife influencers, making her meals from scratch and just been an all-round model of a hyperefficient and doting 1950s housewife. SPOILER: it is hard and not very enjoyable, and I refuse to believe that making your own mozzarella is worth it – the article, though, really *is* fun.
  • A Hairsplitter’s Odyssey: Selected highlights from a new book called ‘Dictionary of Fine Distinctions’, which explores the, er, distinctions between ostensibly very similar terms – so, the difference between ‘despot’, ‘tyrant’, ‘dictator’ and ‘autocrat’, for example, and why they ARE NOT SYNONYMS FFS! This is wonderful and I really, really want a copy of this book now.
  • A Book of Surrealist Games: A scan of a book from 1995, all about the parlour games invented by the surrealists to explore language and to, well, BE SURREAL. This is really interesting, taking you from ‘automated writing’, where you just…write, in stream of consciousness, without stopping, for a fixed period, just to see where your mind goes, to ‘The Truth Game’, in which everyone has to answer questions truthfully and which is illustrated in the example given by the rather arresting enquiry ‘how do you reconcile your love of women and your taste for sodomy?’ and the even more arresting ‘what do you say at the moment of climax?’ and its subsequent answer ‘Generally I say ‘Fernande’ (that’s my sister)’. This is…quite the read, and I should warn you that it contains at least two instances of a VERY BAD RACIAL SLUR as early as page 11/12, should you wish to avoid it on that basis. DIFFERENT TIMES EH?
  • The Beauty of Concrete: I found this SUPER-interesting – all about the evolution of building methods throughout history, and why, rather than the post-20thC architectural style of minimal ornamentation on buildings being born of cost-consciousness and problems of scaling labour, it’s in fact nothing of the sort and is simply a factor of the ‘victory’ of a certain type of aesthetic, and, as the author Samuel Hughes concludes, “In the first half of the twentieth century, Western artistic culture was transformed by a complex family of movements that we call modernism, a trend that extends far beyond architecture into the literature of Joyce and Pound, the painting of Picasso and Matisse, and the music of Schoenberg and Stravinsky. Between the 1920s and the 1950s, modernist approaches to architecture were adopted for virtually all public buildings and many private ones.”
  • Reading Disco Elysium: A collection of critical essays discussing the themes raised by the videogame Disco Elysium. If you haven’t played the game then this might not mean much to you – but if you have, and if you enjoyed it, then this is GOLD; it’s rare that a game is intelligent enough to warrant this degree of critical analysis, but in this instance it’s entirely merited. I think I have said this before once, but, even if you don’t think you like videogames, I cannot recommend Disco Elysium highly enough – it is smart and funny and heartbreaking, it has a truly brilliant soundtrack, and it is simultaneously very game-y and the least videogame-y game I have ever played. It’s the best game I’ve ever read, or the best book I’ve ever played, and I really really really urge you to give it a try if you have the means – it’s available on pretty much every platform, and you almost certainly won’t regret it.
  • The Sorry State of Men’s Hygiene: I might have mentioned this before, but one thing I have learned from spending time on Reddit is how many people have what seem to me to be quite catastrophic issues with their gastric health – here, the author takes a brief, unpleasantly-scented safari through the general state of men’s bottoms, based once again on ‘stuff people say online’. While some of the stuff you see on there is very much of the old school ‘making stuff up online because it’s gross/funny’ sort, there are enough comments about people leaving…unpleasantly-fecal stains on their bedlinen to suggest that there are an awful lot of men who for some reason have never learned the rudiments of, erm, well, cleaning themselves. This is sort-of horrific, but compelling.
  • Turkmenistan: Ok, this is all in Italian but you can translate it (if you don’t have the COMMON DECENCY to speak my mother tongue) with a click, and it’s VERY good – the author visits Turkmenistan, hope to the largest concentration of marble edifices anywhere in the world (who knew?) and some top-quality mad dictatoring. Obviously as with all of these sorts of pieces there’s a slight sense of ‘hm, yes, but it’s not all lols is it, lots of people here are having A Very Bad Time’, but equally this is very well written and not played for laughs too hard, so I will give it a pass.
  • Italian Sunday Lunch: As this piece notes, the concept of the ‘massive six hour Italian meal with 36 relatives and 300 dishes’ is something of a trope, and not entirely representative of anyone’s actual reality in 2024 – and it was always a Southern Italian thing rather than a Northern Italian thing anyway. That said, there was a period when I was small, and fewer members of my family were dead than are currently, when Sunday meals *were* a bit like this – my grandfather literally in a string vest drinking a couple of bottles of genuinely DREADFUL wine (he used to go and get it from a bloke he knew outside Rome a couple of times every year, filling four demijohns with this terrible gutrot, my grandmother having a really miserable time in the kitchen, and various assorted family and friends sitting there having a jolly old feed…anyway, look, this is a NYT piece and therefore it’s Italo-American and a bit ‘plastic Mario’ for my tastes, but I can’t lie that it made me powerfully nostalgic and will likely make you feel VERY HUNGRY.
  • The Bongo Man: The extraordinary life story of one Jose Duval, and his wife Daniele – Jose was a bongo star, but that didn’t stop him from loving his wife very much. This is a weirdly-heartwarming love story that features, as you might expect for a tale that spans the 70s and 80s and involves people who have sex on camera for money, a quite astonishing amount of cocaine. Jose sounds like he had a great time, and he and Daniele had a seemingly happy if…er…unconventional marriage, but my GOD this has some incredibly dark undertones.
  • What Time Is It?:  This is about someone getting dementia – it is absolutely heartbreaking, and I can’t pretend I didn’t slightly lose it at a couple of points and have to stop reading. BUT! It is also beautiful and if you can deal with the subject matter I think it’s a really, really good piece of writing by Jeff Wood.
  • Boys Being Boys: Finally this week, a story about male friendship and booze, and the way in which the two things go hand in hand, and whether the first exists if you take the second away. This is very ‘rural smalltown America’ in detail, but I think the themes are pretty universal and I thought it was superbly told.

By Shannon Cartier Lucy

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

Webcurios 17/05/24

Reading Time: 38 minutes

Do you ever get the feeling, maybe, that you perhaps don’t quite have the same…checks and balances as other people? That perhaps your moral compass is somewhat askew?

I ask only as a I did a thing this week which involved standing up in front of people and talking about Things I Did In The Past, and there were various points when…well, let’s just say when it became clear that things that *I* found funny, or at the very least examples of ‘well, the past was a different country!’, were seen by others as examples of what might best be described as ‘severe moral turpitude’ (to be clear, NOTHING CRIMINAL).

Am…am I a cnut?

As with so much of Curios, dear reader, that is a rhetorical question and I really, really don’t need or want to hear your opinion on it. Just know that I occasionally ask myself, and let’s leave it at that.

Anyway, this week’s edition is, if you’ll excuse the momentary autofellatio, quite a good one I think, so why don’t you get on with reading it and I’ll go back to enumerating all my many failings to seven decimal places.

I am still Matt, this is still Curios, and you really should make sure to check out the video at the end this week because it is EXCEPTIONAL.

By Charlie Tallott (images nearly all lifted from TIH, for which thanks)

OUR FIRST MIX THIS WEEK IS A CRACKING SELECTION OF EARLY HIPHOP (WE’RE TALKING 80s AND EARLY-90s HERE) COMPILED BY FORMER-EDITOR PAUL! (AND YOU CAN READ SOME WORDS ABOUT IT HERE IF YOU LIKE!)

THE SECTION WHICH MIGHT HAVE TO LEAVE LONDON IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT ARSENAL DO IN FACT WIN THE LEAGUE, PT.1:  

  • Project Random: ‘THE ALGORITHM!’, we all cry, powerless to resist its thrall. ‘THE ALGORITHM!’, we weep, bowing and scraping before its might while simultaneously wishing we could take it between our fingers and grind it to dust. ‘THE ALGORITHM!’, we wail, flinging the word about willy-nilly as though it’s some sort of monolithic entity rather than a complex agglomeration of multiple mathematical models which we are long-since being past being able to understand. What I’m saying, basically, is that it feels ever so slightly like we as a species (or at least those of us privileged enough for this sort of sh1t to even vaguely count as ‘a problem’) are rather tired of the invisible hand of maths determining what we see (and therefore think, buy, play, hear and fcuk) (although, on reflection, the slavish devotion we continue to display to the similarly-unknowable and similarly capricious invisible hand suggests we’re stuck with this for a while yet). Anyway, that’s by way of unnecessarily-overwritten introduction to Project Random, an avowedly anti-algo project which seeks to inject a bit more serendipity in your mindless content-guzzling – click the link and you’re presented with the opportunity to browse 15 different platforms – from YouTube to Spotify to Snap to TikTok to Deezer (lol!) and a bunch of others without the pesky forces of attention-based capitalism seeking to funnel you down one rabbithole or another. Per the copy, “Project Random randomly serves obscure content from around the web. It puts the web on shuffle by randomizing the algorithms behind social media and streaming platforms, to unearth content that you (or anyone in the world) might otherwise never see. The Internet today is dominated by engagement-based algorithms that are designed to serve popular, addictive content. The content that we see and interact with is only the very tip of a colossal media iceberg. It is within the depths of this iceberg where we find the obscure web: content that is uploaded, only to remain unseen and forgotten about for the remainder of its existence. Project Random gives forgotten content a chance to be seen by someone, somewhere in the world.” Obviously I approve of this hugely, and it reminds me a lot of one of my favourite projects of recent years (Nobody Live, featured in…2021 I think?, which shows you Twitch streams with no viewers), and in my brief time playing around with it (I tried TikTok and Vimeo and Snap fwiw) threw up a load of odd stuff – TikTok in particular is fascinating because of the volume of interesting, mundane, slice-of-life video being posted from all over the world which it’s genuinely interesting to dip into. This is fun, give it a try.
  • Serve Your Trash: Unless you are pretty technical this is still very much in beta and so inaccessible – but the idea is genuinely brilliant, and PROPERLY ART (I say so, therefore it is TRUE – I am available for the Turner selection committee should anyone be interested in getting me involved, is all I’m saying). Serve Your Trash is a project that allows (or will allow) anyone who wants to participate to share the contents of their desktop ‘Recycle Bin’ with anyone else who wants to see it – the idea is that it effectively creates an online, shared read-only folder into which your deleted items get dumped, and which anyone else in the world can also keep on their desktop so that at any given moment you can click in and see what, for example, Juanito in Aruba has been furiously removing from his hard drive. Obviously this has ALL SORTS of privacy implications, and is no way suitable for, say, spies, or people working in Government, or anyone working on projects of dubious ethics for a major multinational corporation (I KNOW SOME OF YOU READ THIS), but as a concept it is thrilling – one man’s trash, after all, is another’s treasure (although, fine, that perhaps doesn’t apply to the first three abortive drafts of your screenplay). There are instructions for setting this up yourself from the command line, but unless you’re the sort of person who is comfortable working in the terminal then it’s probable beyond you (oh, and this is MacOS-only – chiz chiz) – still, have a read here as it explains the whole thing rather better than the somewhat-opaque homepage; honestly, this is such a cool idea and I think has genuinely-interesting potential.
  • Space Trash Signs: Every few years a project comes up which causes me to remember the concept of The Graveyard Orbit (yes, I know, I have talked about this before, IT IS MY BLOGNEWSLETTERTYPETHING AND I MAKE NO APOLOGIES (but, well, sorry for the tedious repetition), the area of space around the Earth where all of the various junk that we have spaffed into the cosmos over the past 75 years or so agglomerates – so it is with this, which is a brilliant and fascinating and ever-so-slightly troubling visualisation of some of that junk, and where it is in the sky. Clicking the link takes you to a really nicely-rendered view of space, with the various clumping of dead satellites and sensors arranged into ‘constellations’ (the idea is they’re like star signs made of rubbish, DO YOU SEE?). “Space Trash Signs is an initiative to visualize the consequences of space debris on different aspects of life on Earth. These signs were identified by monitoring real debris orbiting the planet. Each sign depicts the impact of a single consequence of the collective problem that space pollution represents. The matters of space are discussed in closed conference rooms around the world, and they are barely made accessible to the general public. But we all have the right to participate. After all, our lives on Earth heavily depend on space.” This is a joint project between various organisations, including the European Space Agency – you may not be surprised that Starlink, a genuinely incredible company (I do mean this – whatever I may think of That Fcuking Man, Starlink and SpaceX are quite astonishing achievements) which is responsible for an even more incredible quantity of the material that is soon to be clogging up your next attempt to view the Aurora, is not involved. Anyway, I think this is a great idea, a lovely site and a *slightly* depressing reminder of our species-wide tendency to just sort of leave a trail of material crap wherever any of us go, with no regard whatsoever for the potential long-term consequences.
  • Higher Intellect: A BIG WEB CURIOS CAVEAT: THERE MAY BE BAD STUFF IN HERE. I haven’t been through all of it – lol, I have barely scratched the surface of the surface – but the limited amount I have checked out does include some…quite old-school documentation of the ‘how to easily and relatively-painlessly top yourself at home, using nothing but the contents of your kitchen cupboard’ sort, and as such I’m reasonably certain that there’s likely to be some sort of amateur bomb-making instructions buried in the archives somewhere. Caveat emptor, is all I’m saying. Anyway, this is a quite remarkable collection of old files from the old web – the BBS and messageboard days, when text files acted as digital samizdat, copied and shared on floppies or low-bandwidth servers, and the web was populated by…look, let’s just say it out loud, genuine outsider weirdos. “Higher Intellect is a World Wide Web server hosting a searchable database of over 750,000 text files on a variety of subjects” runs the blurb – but that doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface. The topic listing should give you an idea of the sort of esoterica on display here – the first entry is ‘aliens and UFOs’, ffs – but a selection of other categories includes “Ancient Texts, Cryptography, Cryptology, Employment, HAM Radio, Images, Laugh, Lyrics & Music Related, Manuals, Movie & TV Scripts, Other, People, Recipes, Sensitive Documents, Sporting & Recreation, Strange Information, UN & NATO”, so you get the idea. I imagine there is some genuinely mad stuff in here, which is the appeal – but, again, really, tread carefully as you maybe don’t want a bunch of instructions on ‘how to make napalm in your bath’ in your cache.
  • Hexagen World: Another of those ‘infinite canvas’ projects where an infinite number of people from all over the web can claim plots of ‘land’ on a website and create their own small townscapes which will live on in perpetuity for anyone else to look and marvel at – except the gimmick here is that the small parcels of land are decorated based on the AI prompt that you input. Which, yes, I know, AI ART=BAD, but not everyone has the time, patience or skill to painstakingly compose a pixelart masterpiece, and there’s something pleasingly-democratic about the fact that anyone can drop in and add to the canvas. You need to scroll around to find a spare plot at the edges – zoom out as far as you can, and scroll down-and-right – and you can only add to a plot which is connected to an existing design on at least one side, but it’s simple, easy and free, and it’s quite pleasing to add to something collaborative like this. I presume that there are various guardrails in place to prevent you from creating, I don’t know, “A high-rise city constructed from phalli”, but, well, why not test the boundaries? This is pretty new, I think, and there’s a bunch of functionality they want to implement including the ability to ‘take over’ other people’s hexes – which, frankly, will probably make the whole thing significantly worse, so get in early and have a look around before it gets turned into some sort of tedious Channish turf war between bored children (you can browse without adding anything – it’s worth taking a look, promise).
  • Otto Writes: I’ve long been of the opinion that while everyone has a book in them, most of those books don’t deserve to be published, or read, or written – the same applies for autobiographies, except quadruply so. Still, if you’re possessed of a degree of hubris so great that you think ‘you know what? I AM FASCINATING AND MORE MUST KNOW OF MY UNIQUE STRUGGLE’ then a) I don’t like you; and b) you will possibly find something to love in Otto, an AI-powered (OF COURSE) platform which purports to help YOU – yes YOU! – write your own story. The idea is that the AI will ask you a bunch of questions about yourself, which you can answer simply by speaking into the app – do it at your own pace, whenever you feel like it – and the software will then turn that into AMAZING PROSE (it will not be amazing prose) which will eventually be compiled into “a 7500 word professionally written biography for a fraction of the cost.” I think they are *possibly* stretching the definition of ‘professionally-written’ to its very limit here – and, honestly, can you IMAGINE the sort of copy that will result from anyone self-obsessed enough to actually want to do this being allowed to burble unfiltered ID into a microphone based on prompts like ‘what are your dreams?’? – but if you’re the sort of dreadful, egocentric monster whose ‘friends’ have started glazing over every time you start talking about being in your ‘rise era’ then GO FOR YOUR LIFE!
  • Globe Engineer: I am pretty sure I featured this a few months ago [AUTHORIAL NOTE – yes, I did, in March], but it has had a glow-up and, honestly, I think this is genuinely useful in a way that few other AI things (outside of your Big LLMs and image-generators) are, and so I am featuring it again in the hope that some of you give it a try. Globe Engineer is basically a topic mapping tool – put in any topic you like and it will generate a genuinely helpful sort of…well, topic map (sorry, that was VERY poor) of the concept. Put in ‘long-distance running shoes’, for example, and in LITERALLY SECONDS it will pull together a dashboard covering types of foam cushioning, insoles, medial postings (no idea), heel counters (again, no idea) and the like, with screenshots from useful web resources. It doesn’t pretend to go DEEP, but as a way of getting an almost-instant birds-eye view of a subject this is honestly INCREDIBLY helpful – all of you strategists and planners who often have to immerse yourselves in a completely new category for a pitch, bookmark this as it is properly helpful in a way that I didn’t expect it to be.
  • The Chronosphere: Significantly less sinister than the name makes it sound – or at least I think it is; I’ll let you know if a Pinhead-alike appears unbidden in my kitchen as I’m typing this and attempts to separate my skin from my skull – The Chronosphere (seriously, WHY?) is actually a really shiny 3d virtual museum platform which, as far as I can tell, basically brings together elements from different and disparate collections around the world in surprisingly-high-quality 3d renders, which you can ‘walk’ around in-browser. Ordinarily I’m quite sniffy about ‘walk through the museum’ stuff, because in the main these things are, let’s be honest, dogsh1t, but the tech here is really very good, and the quality of the graphics and the modeling on the works displayed is superb. Collections so far are limited to ‘Stuff from Ancient Rome’ and ‘Stuff by Goya’ (with Egypt coming soon), but it’s worth a look as it’s significantly more impressive than these things tend to be – although be warned, it absolutely FCUKED my laptop (which is admittedly VERY SH1T and VERY OLD) which was wheezing like an emphysemic until I shut down every single other tab.
  • Walked Out Niemans: The TikTok account of an experimental videogame developer – look, you really just have to click this and scroll and watch some of the videos, because this stuff is both ART and NIGHTMARE and SOCIAL COMMENTARY, and while it’s not (to my mind at least) on the same level as Dan Douglas’ ongoing, genius, Duke Smoochem project (I will say it again – GIVE THAT MAN THE TURNERT PRIZE HE DESERVES YOU COWARDS) it is brilliantly unhinged and quite…striking in its visual design. Seriously watch this – no, watch ALL of it, with the sound up, full-screen – and tell me that something special’s not happening here.
  • Wikipedia Fact-Checker: If you were to travel back in time 15 years and confidently tell people that Wikipedia would in the future be considered a genuinely useful place to do research and source facts you would have been laughed out of town – WELL WHO’S LAUGHING NOW??? Erm, noone, as it happens – the fact that we’re all so reliant on Wikipedia says far more about the degradation and pollution of the global informational water table than it does anything else tbh – but it’s true that it’s an incredibly comprehensive and largely-accurate resource here in fcuked-up old 2024. This is a Chrome extension which uses (I think) GPT API access to check Wikipedia for you on demand – install the extension, highlight any text on any webpage that yo’d like to quickly run a check on, and The Machine will toddle off to Wikipedia and confirm or deny the veracity of whatever it is that you’re querying, along with providing a link to, and citation from, the relevant page. This is…this is great, honestly, a really smart use of both the LLM and of the Wiki corpus, and it’s easy to use, and, in my limited trial, it…seems to work? Honestly, for anyone who does a lot of desk research this is worth a look.
  • All The Birds With One Stone: Prolific digital artist Chia Amisola returns with a new, small project – I don’t want to explain this too much, it’s small and lovely and it will make you feel…nice? I don’t get to say that too often in Curios, so enjoy the rare moment of respite from the crushing futurehorror (you will need to enable popups for this to work properly, fyi).
  • Scott Darby: I have a vague feeling I have come across Scott’s work before over the past 20 years of internetspelunking, but I had never seen his homepage before – Scott is a Bristol-based creative developer who tends to work in and around datavisualisation, and his website…God, I can’t explain how much I *adore* this, the visuals and the aesthetic and the kinetic way the whole thing sort of slides around under your eyes, like the digital offspring of Richard Serra’s sculpture’s and Frank Gehry’s architecture (yes, I know, pretentious as all fcuk, but I promise you’ll see what I mean), and I think this is a work of art in and of itself. There are links to a selection of his projects too, which are worth exploring, but, honestly, this is SO beautiful.
  • Watch The Titles: I am slightly astonished that I haven’t come across this before – turns out the internet is really big! Who knew?! – but if you’re interested in visual design in cinema then this will be right up your street. “Forget the Film, Watch the Titles! is a project dedicated to the art of title design and its creators. Launched in 2006, the recently renewed website features a growing collection of over 200 title sequences and behind-the-scenes content, offering a unique glimpse into the people, ideas and processes behind their creation.” This is a quite incredible resource – there is SO MUCH in here – and obviously a real labour of love by one Remco Vlaanderen who’s seemingly responsible for curating the whole thing.
  • Famicase 24: Every year, a competition takes place where designers submit their, er, designs (FFS MATT!) for cartridge art for imaginary games on the now-defunct Super Famicom games console (known as the Super NES in the West) – this is this year’s selection of entries. Obviously none of these are real games, but so many of them really ought to be – and the imagination and skill on display here is hugely impressive. It’s worth taking a bit of time to go through them – click the first one and then cycle through, as they’re a bit small to see all at once, and tell me that you don’t think the person who designed the cart for ‘Body Golf’ shouldn’t win some sort of international prize (seriously, even if this doesn’t tickle your particular fancy, do check it out).
  • My Girlfriend Is An Artist: Not mine, my friend Kris’ – this is a site he made for her birthday, featuring photographs by her, captioned by him. I think this is SO BEAUTIFUL and SO LOVELY – each time you refresh the site you get a different image and caption, and there’s a sort of poetry in just clicking ‘reload’ for a few minutes and wandering through someone else’s family love story (sorry if that sounds creepy, man, it’s really not meant to).
  • Twelve Football: I think this is designed for ‘professional’ football data analysts, but it’s another interesting use of layering an LLM over data – the idea is that you can run natural language queries against an enormous corpus of player data from across the major leagues around the world, letting you ask things like ‘which left-footed striker has the highest nXPG from open play between minutes 73 and 90 when playing against a flat 442?’ (ok, I am guessing here, but it feels like that sort of thing). It’s only in trial at the moment, but if you’re someone who’s interested in how you can do more with data using this sort of tech then it’s possibly a useful case-study – equally so if you’re the sort of person who takes their FPL team far too seriously. It’s interesting to me how democratised this stuff is getting – this and McClachbot are genuinely impressive data analysis and scouting tools, made available to anyone, which is sort-of remarkable really.
  • AI Tarot: On the one hand, a tarot reading done by AI is obviously TOTAL BOLL0CKS – on the other, so is a tarot reading done by an actual human being (sorry, it really is) so why not just let the AI do it? Pick the sort of reading you want, frame your question, and MARVEL AS THE DIGITAL CARDS REVEAL YOUR FATE! This is all textual with no graphical bells and whistles, but it’s clean and quick and if you want a quick answer to ‘should I quit my job and set up shop as a freelance strategist?’ (the answer is ‘lol, do you know how many middle-aged people are glutting the market with this sort of sh1t right now and do you know how necessary they are, lol?’) then you could do worse than consult the major and minor arcana through this site (to be clear: you could not do worse, this is STUPID and should only be treated as a joke, do not let The Machine cosplaying as Mystic Meg dictate your life).
  • Kitchen Confidentials: I have…some questions about how long this is going to stay live for, particularly given it’s operating in the famously-litigious New York area, but WOW is this a great idea and a source of some cracking restaurant industry gossip. Kitchen Confidentials is basically ‘glassdoor for the NYC restaurant scene’, and its mission statement reads as follows: “Kitchen Confidentials exists to empower workers in the food service industry. Kitchen Confidentials grew out of a need for a platform where food service workers can access trustworthy information regarding the compensation, workplace culture, and benefits offered by establishments in New York City. Kitchen Confidentials is committed to fostering positive change in the food service industry. We celebrate businesses that prioritize the well-being of their employees, and create accountability among businesses that could improve worker treatment. We believe in the power of transparency to create an industry where owners, managers, waiters, line cooks, dishwashers, and customers can all thrive.” A great idea, a good initiative and SO FUN to read (in a sort of schadenfreude-y way) – MAKE THIS HAPPEN IN LONDON, SOMEONE! This feels like it has ‘Vittles Spinoff Project’ written all over it.

By Molly Bounds

NEXT UP, HAVE SOME SLIGHTLY-MANIC JAZZ COURTESY OF THE FABULOUS SOIL AND PIMP SESSIONS! 

THE SECTION WHICH MIGHT HAVE TO LEAVE LONDON IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT ARSENAL DO IN FACT WIN THE LEAGUE, PT.2:    

  • Rap Feud: Now that the dust has seemingly settled – at least momentarily – on The Great Beef, take a moment to enjoy this really nicely-made site which takes you through the timeline of HOW and WHY and WHEN it all went down. This is really, really good – obviously it’s interesting if you’re interested in the story and the people and the music, but also as an explainer project and as a piece of webdesign in its own right. As you scroll, you pass through each individual track – you can listen to it, get information on the backstory as to why it was written, read the lyrics, get information on the artists and the targets… regardless of your interest in Kendrick, Drake or the whole thing, this is just really good webwork. Also it taught me that one of the samples on the Metro ‘BBL Drizzy’ beat was in fact AI-generated, which had totally passed me (and I imagine lots of other casual listeners) by, and which feels like a Rubicon of sorts has been crossed here.
  • The Most Horrible Advert I Have Ever Seen: I’m not exaggerating here. This really, really upset me – not joking! Made me really really sad! – and I would honestly take steps to actively harm the product in question were I ever to see it in the wild (but I think it’s only in North America, and I can’t imagine the brand is going to exist in a few years’ time). Seriously, watch this and see what happens when you take ‘ironic detachment’ far too far.
  • Birdify: By way of a palate-cleanser after that horrid ad – SO HORRID – have this lovely project, by one Thomas Newlove, which simply lets you listen to the sound of birds. That’s it! Search for your favourite, or simply browse through the list – it’s simply pleasant to hear birdsong, but it’s also nice to have a listen to some of the more common British varieties to see if you can start to recognise them in the wild; I am back in leafy South London and it is SO NICE to be able to hear birdsong again (although I am probably going to have to revise that opinion if the pigeons obviously living on the roof directly above my bedroom don’t start shutting the fcuk up).
  • Words About War: Not really a Curio, this, so much as a serious and useful project (there’s that whiplash thematic sidewindering again, really must try and address that one day) – Words About War is a document which is designed to act as a language guide for people writing about conflict to seek to ensure that the words they use are fair and accurate. From the homepage: “From George Orwell’s critique of the language of totalitarian regimes to today, discussions of war and foreign policy have been full of dehumanizing euphemisms, bloodless jargon, little-known government acronyms, and troubling metaphors that hide warfare’s damage. Think of “collateral damage” (civilian deaths), “overseas contingency operations” (wars), and “bug splat” (killing human beings with drone-fired missiles). This guide aims to help people write and talk about war and foreign policy more accurately, more honestly, and in ways people outside the elite Washington, DC foreign policy “blob” can understand. We encourage you to use this guide, to share it with others, and to adapt it as necessary to local contexts. The guide should be especially helpful to journalists and other writers, podcasters and vloggers, policy analysts, teachers, scholars, and people involved in public education projects.” Leaving aside the slightly-irksome reference to the ‘foreign policy blob’, this is a useful and interesting project, and it’s worth having a look at the short version, even if you can’t be bothered with the whole thing, and then bearing what it says in mind next time you read reporting about, for the sake of argument, Gaza.
  • The Desktop Cat Cursor: Inspired by an idea floated by legendary internet geek Foone, this is a small download (which costs a quid) which will turn your computer cursor into a long cartoon cat’s paw, reaching in from outside the boundaries of your screen to move and manipulate things on your desktop. Why? BECAUSE IT’S FUNNY (sort-of, if you’re a particular type of person).
  • Digital Art From the Era of Japanese PCs: Ok, so, again, an upfront warning – this is a decade-old forum thread collecting examples of pixel art from Japanese videogames in the 80s and early-90s, and as such it features QUITE A FEW EXAMPLES OF PIXELART NUDITY, almost all, inevitably, of women, because Hentai. Still, it’s not ALL slightly-tawdry pseudo-bongo, and, honestly, this is aesthetically fascinating, I promise (as well as there being some really beautiful work in here). From the person who started the thread: “So over the past few years I’ve been saving pictures from old Japanese games that I really liked and I thought I’d share them with you all. Most of these pictures come from Japanese PCs from the 80s to mid 90s like the MSX, PC88, PC98, X1, X68000, FM Towns and a bunch of others. They’re pretty impressive because they display a level of graphical quality that Western computers just weren’t capable of producing until much later. Take a look at the intro for the PC88 RPG The Screamer. It’s hard to believe that this game came out in 1984; there was nothing remotely comparable coming from Western computers at the time.” There is a LOT in here – there are 4 full pages of screenshots – and if you’re interested you can read a little more about the technical ‘why’ of this stuff on this page (but, again, apologies for the nudity on this one – it turns out that the venn diagram of ‘people who are minded to collect screenshots of old Japanese videogames’ and ‘people who like looking at pixelart representations of anatomically-improbable women’ is a circle).
  • Shund: This is one of those links that is very much Not For Me – mainly because I don’t speak a word of Hebrew, or Yiddish – but which I like to think will for ONE READER be genuinely fascinating and useful. Shund is a searchable database of Yiddish popular fiction from down the years, searchable and readable on-site, and while it’s intended for linguistic and cultural scholars I would imagine that, if you can read the texts, there’s something in here for the more casual historian. “A Woman’s Honor, The Lost Daughter, It’s Hard to be a Mother, The Masked World—these are just a few titles from the thousands of Yiddish pulp novels published during the nineteenth and twentieth centuries. Serialized as stand-alone pamphlets or in the pages of the Yiddish press, novels like these are twisting tales of murder and infidelity, adventure and political intrigue. Though labeled by critics as “trash” (shund in Yiddish), they were central to Jewish daily life throughout the global network of Ashkenazi Jewry. Today these texts remain largely unstudied even as scholars assert their importance to understanding Yiddish culture and its afterlives. This project aims to bridge this gap by producing a collaborative, open-access database that will synthesize shund’s varied and disparate archives and facilitate new scholarship. With a better understanding of what exactly constitutes shund, a group of scholars can together produce comparative histories of the genre while theorizing it as a paradigm for how marginalized cultures confront the modern world.” The site’s not the most user-friendly in the world, but it does work – I just couldn’t understand a word of the content, but that’s my problem not theirs.
  • Pasta Guide: A guide to pasta! As it says right up top, this is not a recipe guide or a cookbook (although there is a recipe for making actual pasta) – it’s just a guide to what pasta is, how it’s made, some of the shapes…Look, I fcuking LOVE pasta (obviously) and I genuinely don’t understand the slight air of shock and horror that people in my life have occasionally exhibited at my ability and indeed inclination to eat it multiple times a day, and I am very much in favour of this sort of technical appreciation of one of the world’s greatest-ever foodstuffs (fight me) (don’t fight me, I am weak and sickly)…and if you click through the ‘Experiments’ tab you’ll be taken to Adriana Gallo’s Are.na page where she documents her experiences of making the stuff…this is not the most comprehensive pasta resource on the web, but I love it precisely because it’s just one person’s celebration of something they really like, which is basically what the very best of the web is all about.
  • Dupe: Look, let’s get this out of the way – I don’t approve of buying stuff just for the sake of it, I don’t approve of consumption in general (yes, I am fun at parties, and no I don’t get invited to many, why do you ask?) and I’m increasingly feeling like some sort of ascetic preacher of doom in the face of the world’s ceaseless attempts to dull the pain with shopping. THAT SAID, I am equally aware that sometimes you do actually need things, and that you might find it useful to have a way of finding stuff that looks like the expensive version you really want but can’t afford, at half the price. Thus, Dupe – a service in beta which lets you plug in the url of any product you care to mention and which promises to find you a selection of knockoff versions of said product from around the web. I can’t vouch for how well or otherwise this works, but it’s worth a go I think. This is firmly focused on home decor, before you get all excited about getting couture knockoffs, but if you’re decorating then this might be useful.
  • Il Campionato Mondiale di Umari: This is a project by one of my favourite niche newsletters (Scope of Work, which I’ve featured in here a few times before, which is mostly about building and construction and the process of making stuff), and I’ll let Spencer, who runs it, introduce the concept to you: “Umari is the plural form of umarell, and umarell is a jocular Italian [AUTHOR’S INTERJECTION – it’s actually dialect, Bolognese iirc. God I’m a prick] term for a person – classically a man of retirement age – who pauses to observe work in progress. The term might be used as light-hearted mockery, but I think more people ought to umarell.  To umarell is to take an interest in the built environment – the environment that our species creates, and in which most of us spend most of our time. An umarell turns their attention to that environment’s creation, taking time to appreciate the materials, machines, and muscles from which it emerges.” Isn’t that a wonderful concept? Anyway, Spencer is running a small contest, to celebrate people who are observing work in interesting ways – whether in sketch form, or in writing (whether technical or creative) – and I think this is SUCH an interesting concept and potentially a source of some really interesting work, and I wondered maybe one or two of you might think it the sort of thing you might want to have a go at.
  • Open Glass: I imagine the number of people reading this who might be interested in cobbling together their own homebrew version of AI-enabled glasses is a round zero, but, just in case, here are some instructions on how to do so. You remember 12 years ago when Google Glass came out and the world wasn’t ready, and the term ‘glasshole’ was coined? Trust me, you would need to invent whole new words for people wearing these. Still, pretty fcuking scifi (NB – I think this is the second of these projects I’ve featured in here, but this one’s managed to strip the hardware costs to about £25 which is…frankly insane).
  • The Black Games Archive: “Black Games Archive is a multimedia, public-facing database of games, digital resources, accessible scholarship, and designer interviews that are relevant to the intersections between Black culture, games, and play.” This is a great resource, both for people seeking titles that feature better representation of black people than was often traditional (although thankfully the industry’s come on leaps and bounds since I worked in it in the mid-00s) and for anyone interested academic readings around race, society and representation in the medium – there’s also a section focused on essays and scholarship, which is useful for anyone wanting to delve into this further.
  • While We’re Talking About Games, I Did A Talk: The link takes you to the (terrible) slides, and you can read my (terrible) notes here, should you be interested. I am genuinely sorry to everyone who listened to it for all the swearing and for using a Bad Word Which Is No Longer Acceptable In The 2020s when describing the Daily Mail’s reaction to God of War II’s launch party.
  • Fanzine World: This is a nice idea which I don’t think *quite* works, but you might find something in it – Fanzine World is designed to let anyone pull together a list of 5 ‘creators’ based on a theme of their choosing, the idea being that anyone can say ‘Hey, I’m really into haberdashery, here are the 5 creators I think are most interesting the haberdashery space RIGHT NOW’ for anyone else to find and peruse and enjoy. Basically it’s a way for people to share their passions, and it’s potentially not a bad way of finding creators within a certain vertical should you need one.
  • Campane Marinelli: Are any of you in the market for a church bell? I mean an actual church bell, massive and sonorous, to hang in a church tower, made in a foundry and weighing tonnes? No, of course you’re not, but I was so pleased with the fact that PEOPLE WHO MAKE CHURCH BELLS HAVE WEBSITES that I felt compelled to include this one. Campanologists, this one is for YOU!
  • Digitiser: Now this is one I really can’t believe I haven’t featured before – those of you who a) grew up in the UK; and b) are old, like I am, may have fond memories of TeleText, the text-based internet precursor (it was nothing like the internet) which basically let you read pages of text on your telly, and which was arranged into various sections, not unlike a weird sort of TV-based magazine, and which was where people used to buy cheap holidays and keep track of the football scores as recently as about 1998. One of the BEST things about TeleText was its coverage of music (honestly, I bought SO many great albums based off their recommendations in the early-90s) and videogames – the games section in particular was a genuinely-hallucinatory mix of off-kilter humour, tips, properly good reviews and some VERY STRANGE low-res 8-bit pixel art, and some utterly baffling (to anyone who wasn’t already immersed in the lore) in-jokes and running gags…and the archive is online! YOU CAN READ DIGI AGAIN! Honestly, if you remember this stuff then I can’t tell you what a treat it is; if you don’t, it’s worth clicking this link and having a dig around because a) you will be amazed by how genuinely strange so much of it is, and how odd it must have been to find it just a button-press away from the aggressively-normie confines of ITV in 1993; and b) you will get an idea for how incredibly bored teenagers were , when we would literally sit and wait 20s at a time for the pages to automatically turn so we could read a comic review of Prince of Persia.
  • AntARctica: Sorry about the bad joke sorry sorry sorry. This is genuinely great, though – an (I think) educational portal for the UK Antarctic Heritage Trust with a bunch of AR experiences that let you ‘experience’ the magic and mystery of being VERY COLD on the tundra, with your huskies – you can do these on your phone, and there are six different experiences including swimming with the penguins, running with the sledding dogs and freezing to death, alone and cold and frightened (one of these is in fact a lie).
  • The Labyrinth: This is by no objective standards ‘good’, but, equally, it’s a game that was made by a team of forty ten year old kids in Croatia – it’s a small platformer, which uses the children’s drawings as the source art, and while it’s very simple and very janky it’s also weirdly charming, and I have to say that if it was a bit more polished I like the aesthetic enough to play for longer than the 45s I actually lasted.
  • PixoGuess: Can you guess what the pixellated thing is? CAN YOU? Pick from various categories – logos, pokemon, videogame characters, etc – and see how quickly you can guess what they are as they go from HUGELY PIXELLATED ABSTRACT MESSES to recognisable images. This is…moderately fun, and you can create local lobbies so you can spend the afternoon challenging your colleagues should you not have anything better to do with your life.
  • EyeSpy: Play I Spy in your browser with what I presume ae Google Earth images – you’re plonked somewhere in the world, and given an option of 3 objects which appear somewhere in the 360 image – all you need to do is select the correct one. This is…quite hard, but you get the feel for it after a couple of goes and it’s a not-terrible way of killing time while you wait for timesheet-o-clock.
  • Showdown: This is ‘rock, paper, scissors’, but more fun than you’d think – you play against a moustachio’d cowboy figure, which responds to your strategies, and there’s a betting mechanic which keeps it compelling, and this is FAR shinier and better-made than it needs to be, and, honestly, I really enjoyed this and I think you might do too.

By Not The NoName

THE FINAL MIX OF THE WEEK TAKES YOU THROUGH LOUNGEY DISCO ALL THE WAY TO SOME SORT OF PROTO-HOUSE VIA A VARIETY OF SLIGHTLY-80s SOUNDS WHICH I CAN’T DESCRIBE ANYWHERE NEAR AS WELL AS I WOULD LIKE, AND IT’S BY SI KURRAGE AND MR SHIVER AND IT IS GREAT! 

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

  • Models Meet Mean Girls: Photographs of models juxtaposed with quotes from Mean Girls – there is ONE person I know for whom this is basically a perfect website, but maybe it will be that for you too.

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • Art Deco Society NY: Via Blort, this is a lovely Insta feed featuring, er, art deco stuff in New York. But, you know, not just the Chrysler Building – OTHER art deco stuff. Look, it’s good, you’ll enjoy it, have a click.

LONG THINGS THAT ARE LONG!

  • All The OpenAI Stuff: Ok, so obvious caveat here that I am not a journalist (lol, like you needed telling) and that therefore me casting shade on the reporting around this week’s BIG AI ANNOUNCEMENTS, but it was incredibly disappointing, in the case of OpenAI, to see all the coverage literally saying ‘IT IS GOING TO BE JUST LIKE ‘HER’ LOL!’ without applying anything resembling a critical lens to the fact that a) THIS IS ALL DEMO STUFF AND UNTIL IT IS IN THE WILD YOU SHOULDN’T REPORT ON IT LIKE IT’S FACT FFS; and b) by so doing all you’re accomplishing is the perpetuation of the already-creepy ‘female digital figure as servile male fantasy companion’ trope that should already have been retired many, many years ago. Anyway, my tedious kvetching aside, it’s worth going through all the of the promo materials from the GPT-4o launch because there *is* a lot of impressive-looking stuff there, but it’s all NOT YET ACTUALLY CONSUMER-READY YET (just like Sora! And that hasn’t stopped millions of words being written about how amazing it is, despite the fact that only about 300 people in the world have actually used the fcuking thing). What I will say is that the move towards ‘true’ multimodality, from both OpenAI and Google, is going to be genuinely transformative – the assistant stuff is, to my mind, the least-interesting bit of this, whereas the potential applications for industry are vast and thrilling (to me, at least). I’ve been playing with GPT-4o this week (or at least the bits of it that are available, which is basically the sped up model and the ability to do better and more useful stuff with Excel) and my quick impressions are that it’s LOADS faster but not ‘smarter’ in any appreciable way, BUT its writing feels…less awful than the standard GPT-4, which is useful, and the DallE-3 integration can now do faultless text, which again is helpful. Still, NONE OF THE FANCY STUFF IS LIVE YET, so perhaps hold off on spaffing joyously into the breeze with excitement just yet, eh?
  • All of the Google I/O AI Stuff: As for OpenAI, for Google – ALMOST NONE OF THE STUFF THEY SHOWED AT THE DEMO IS ACTUALLY LIVE YET! SO MUCH OF WHAT PICHAI SAID ON STAGE WAS COUCHED IN TERMS OF ‘WHAT WE WILL BE ABLE TO DO’ NOT ‘WHAT WE CAN DO’! FFS! Anyway, I thought it was interesting – and, let’s be clear, a genuinely inspired bit of PR/Marketing on the part of the team doing the demo videos – to include the ‘and look! Astra (the digital assistant part of the show) can find your glasses WITHOUT EVEN BEING TOLD TO NOTICE THEM!’ bit, which is what EVERYONE in my feed was getting super-excited about (if nothing else, Google know exactly how old most tech reporters are in 2024, it seems, and what they personally care about). Still, the BIG NEWS which has been criminally underreported in the wake of this week’s news has been exactly how hard every single business that has been built on ‘traffic equals revenue’ is going to be fcuked in the next 12 months. Seriously, if you currently make money from ad revenue then, well, KISS THAT GOODBYE!
  • Plastic Everywhere: This week’s ‘unpleasantly-sobering dispatch from the pointy-end of the environmental sh1tshow’ comes in the form of this ProPublica article, in which Lisa Song spends some time at the UN Environmental Programme’s Conference on Plastic Pollution and discovers that a significant number of the delegates are…enormous plastic producers, swanning around with access-all-areas badges and treating the whole thing as a massive lobbying opportunity while the delegates from the countries currently having their waterways clogged with infinite quantities of Coke bottles and P&G/Unilever single-serving plastic sachets get to stick posters up in the corridors and cry quietly into their terrible coffee. I can’t stress enough that every single multinational company currently saying things like ‘we really want to be part of the solution, and in fact we need to be, because without us the ‘energy transition’ or ‘plastic free oceans’ or ‘movement to limit water scarcity’ (delete as applicable) at conferences like this is ALSO, behind closed doors, whispering into the ears of the political classes…’but we have to go slower, because otherwise CIVILISATION (and, coincidentally, our margins) will collapse around our ears’.
  • What Elon Musk’s Favourite Game Tells Us About Him: When I reviewed the Musk book last year, I noted that the Walter Isaacson had a bizarre and very boomer-ish  (sorry to use that word, but in this case it feels apposite) habit of thinking that Musk’s enjoyment of videogames somehow marked him as ‘interesting’, ‘unique’ or, heaven forfend, ‘strategically brilliant’ – here, Dave Karpf takes that and runs with it, spending a bit of time playing Musk’s favourite game (per Isaacson), a mobile free-to-play number called ‘Polytopia’, and doing a bit of a thinkpiece on What It Means if this particular title is your favourite game in the world. Honestly, this is BRILLIANT and I think the most savage takedown of That Fcuking Man and his intellectual prowess I have ever read – please do read the whole thing, it is smart rather than snarky, and it makes so much sense. I mean, look: “There are no hidden layers to Elon Musk’s thinking. He likes the gratification of impulsively pushing a button and seeing the numbers go up. He likes games that are straightforward and easy to beat. He’d rather reset every 45 minutes than execute meticulous plans that extend far into an uncertain future. He does not think ten moves ahead. He just responds with maximal aggression to the latest change of conditions. (The stock is down again. Announce robotaxis!) When this works, he gets the satisfaction of dominance. When it doesn’t, he can always just reset and try again.”
  • AI Forgeries: I rather enjoyed this piece, in a ‘wow, I did not for a second think of that as a potential side effect of the rise of generative AI, but now you come to mention it it makes perfect sense’ sort of way – Maggie Appleton writes about the flood of prints of works by classic artists that are cropping up all over Etsy and eBay (not purporting to be originals – just people selling prints) which are not in fact paintings that have ever existed in the real world. Turns out if you just plug ‘in the style of [dead old master] into your image generation machine of choice, along with whatever scene you fancy, you can conjure up the sort of thing that looks like it belongs in a lineup of the artist’s other works and which is convincing enough to fool someone who has no idea about the artist’s actual body of recorded work. The examples in here are fascinating ‘Plage Rose’ by Monet (not Monet), an infinity of knockoff William Morris prints…as Appleton puts it, this is all pointing towards a degree of ‘epistemic collapse’: “You can peruse this evidence and conclude I’m just a gullible idiot, which I’ll accept. A more learned and cultured individual could easily distinguish a real Morris from a Midjourney hoax. Despite earning a snowflakey liberal arts degree, I failed this test. How many others do you think would pass it? What happens to the next generation of gullible idiots, when they ask their AI assistant to show them “william morris prints,” and those keywords have already been tainted by the sea of Etsy images? What about when more capable models can create even-more-convincing Morris prints, sans their telltale artefacts and slip-ups? When do the generated images become epistemologically indistinguishable from what Morris created?” Well, yes, quite.
  • The Indians Fighting In Ukraine: This is a quite remarkable story – and a very bleak one, to be clear – all about how kids in India are being lured to Russia on the pretext of (relatively) well-paid work, only to find themselves shipped off to the frontline. Honestly, you will read this with slowly-mounting disbelief and horror; SUCH a future story, this one, and Gibsonian in the most horrifying of ways.
  • EVs in China: I don’t care about cars, and this piece is a bit *too* car-y for my general tastes, but I’m including it because it paints a fascinating picture of something we should all have realised by now and which I (and, to be fair, loads of other smarter people) have been wanging on about for a while now – specifically, THE WEST IS VERY MUCH NOT THE CENTRE OF THE WORLD ANY MORE, OR THE VANGUARD, AND WE WILL NOT BE AGAIN FOR QUITE A LONG TIME. This is motoring journalist Kevin Williams on his experience of going to a recent EV motorshow in China, and being blown away by the quality and sophistication of the vehicles on offer there, even at the low end, compared to what’s coming out of the US (this is a US-centric perspective, but I can’t imagine that the picture looks significantly better if you’re a European manufacturer). There’s a sense as the piece goes on that Williams is having something of a Damascene moment, and not in a way that he’s enjoying.
  • Print Is Coming Back: On the one hand, I agree with the basic premise of this piece – that there is a renewed desire for physical media, particularly amongst younger generations, as part of the general trend towards fetishising the analogue past, and ‘doing a magazine’ is the sort of thing that will help you appeal to a certain sort of demographic; on the other, I also think that the prospects of being able to ‘do a magazine’ in a way that makes money in a sustainable way are, in the main, basically zero. Look at The Fence, for example – a magazine I like a lot, and subscribe to, and which is in rude health, relatively-speaking, but which is also INCREDIBLY WELL-CONNECTED in London medialand, which is run by a man who is by any token INCREDIBLY FCUKING POSH, and where at least one of the people closely connected to the publication has a title. Try launching a mag without those sorts of hookups and see how far you get, is all I’m saying. Still, printed collateral ftw and all that.
  • The Hidden Pregnancy Experiment: In which Jia Tolentino tries to keep her pregnancy hidden from The Algorithms. You will of course all remember the now infamous story about the woman who found out she was pregnant because the advertising algos worked it out before she did and started advertising nappies to her – well in this instance Tolentino knows she’s pregnant and decides to see how long she can keep it a secret from the advertisers, not doing any searches for pregnancy or child-related topics and trying to determine whether it’s possible for The Machine to work it out from inference. You will be reassured to know that the answer is ‘yes’ – so can we PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD put the whole ‘my phone is listening to me’ lie to bed now, please?
  • The Life Of A Secret OnlyFans Chatter: This is a great piece, if a legitimately sad one – Brendan Koerner writes for WIRED about taking a job as one of the people who pretends to be an OnlyFans model in the chat, running accounts as part of borderline-criminal engagement farms, which run accounts for multiple women who effectively act as fronts for schemes where the REAL money is made from getting the marks chatting, paying for extra attention and, occasionally, buying third party goods where the engagement farmers get a kickback (not to mention the fraud stuff). This is…this is really bleak, honestly, from the fact that SO MANY PEOPLE are doing this – Koerner initially struggles to find a job, because the supply of people willing to do this stuff outstrips demand, and even when he does the money is pretty dreadful – to the fact that at every turn you’re confronted with the fact that the people being scammed are desperately lonely and desperately unhappy. Don’t, whatever you do, think too hard about what AI is going to do to this industry.
  • The Battle For Thamesmead: Apologies for the Unherd link, but this is just a straight bit of writing with no apparent attempt to push a mad right-wing ideology (unless I am missing something obvious here) – instead, it’s about the redevelopment of the Thamesmead Estate, where A Clockwork Orange was in-part filmed, and how what is happening there can be seen as a synecdoche for the problems facing UK housing, planning and development in general. Look, you have to be…quite interested in housing in the UK for this one to be of interest, so I won’t be offended if the non-Anglos skip this one, but this really is interesting, I promise (if enraging in places).
  • The Actual History of Emoji: The second link in Curios this week about the ways in which the intersection of the unique quality of the Japanese written language combined with the country’s technological sophistication in the 20th Century resulted in really interesting, parallel-track innovation – in this instance, it’s a surprisingly-interesting (no, really!) look at the REAL history of emoji, which did not in fact start in the internet era but instead, this piece argues, as far back as the 1960s. Honestly, this really is fascinating (and I don’t like emoji).
  • Music Vs Lyrics: Are you a music person or a lyrics person? I have to say that personally I don’t totally get the distinction (though, I suppose, it’s always words, always words), but I really enjoyed this piece in which a variety of different ‘music journalists, DJs, musicians, editors, authors…people generally paid to think about music for a living’ think about where they would put themselves on the one-vs-the-other spectrum and why. I enjoyed this mainly because it’s one of those wonderful windows into the way in which everyone’s brain works differently, and everyone’s experience of everything is necessarily utterly subjective, and therefore we are all fundamentally alone and will die alo-no, hang on, that wasn’t meant to be the takeaway! Anyway, this is really interesting as much from the point of view of human psychology as it is from the point of view of music.
  • Making the XKCD Machine: You will, of COURSE, remember the massive, interconnecting series of Rube Goldberg machines that XKCD let people create earlier this year (you do, I wrote about it, don’t be obtuse); well, this is a piece about how they built it. Which, I know, doesn’t sound that interesting, but I promise it’s FASCINATING from the point of view of design, UX and UI, how to design systems, how to create collaborative experiences, how to plan for and manage human psychology…honestly, this really is SO GOOD if you have ever made, or tried to make, anything for people to mess around with on the internet, and shows the insane amount of thinking and hard work that has to go into making something this good.
  • Designs for the Great Tower of London: I genuinely had no idea that this was ever mooted, but it turns out that when Paris got the Eiffel Tower, London got VERY jealous and, for a brief period, seriously considered attempting to one-up the French by building our own. This is piece about that, which also includes an embedded PDF of an old book featuring ALL the designs submitted as part of the public contest to come up with a structure. There are some AMAZING (and some very, very mad) designs in here, and what I think I love most of all is that while some of them were obviously submitted by teams of architects and the like, a significant number seem to have been knocked up by ‘some bloke in Sydenham with a pen and some time on his hands’. Amazingly construction was actually started on one of these, but the project ran out of money in 1889 after seven years and just 47 metres. OH WHAT WE COULD HAVE HAD!
  • I Don’t Know How To Live If My Anorexia Dies: This one is obviously all about having an eating disorder so, for the third time this Curios, caveat emptor. If you can stand it, though, this is (to my mind, at least) quite an incredible piece of writing – it’s rare that I read something about a condition like this that is so honest, so clear-eyed and so unflinching in its depiction of the mental state one finds oneself in when one can acknowledge that one has a problem but, equally, when the problem is so much a part of one that without it, one may well cease to exist, even if, with it, the same outcome is probably likely. This is not an easy read, and, look, if you’re having a hard time then I might suggest you approach it with caution, but I think it’s superb.
  • Eating Rabbits: On meat, and animals, and the relationship between the two, and poverty and memory and and and. This is beautiful – but, also, it is about killing and eating animals, so, y’know, be aware.
  • The Garden of Time: As this republication of JG Ballard’s short story SCREAMS from the top of the page, ‘THE STORY THAT INSPIRED THIS YEAR’S MET GALA’ – it’s Ballard, so obviously it’s great (although personally it’s far from Classic JG, to my mind), but the reason it’s worth reading is that it’s *quite hard* not to see the choice of theme as a fairly explicit ‘fcuk you, you fcuking idiots’ to either the people paying all that money to attend the Met, or to those of us gawping at their outfits with our noses pressed against the glass (of our phone screens), and I honestly can’t decide which I think it is.
  • Sour Face: The Quietus is one of the UK’s best music magazines, and has been for years, and it relaunched its website this week and is now SHINY and, you know, MODERN-LOOKING, and they also published this absolutely cracking piece of writing by Benjamin Myers recounting the few years he spent as member of a punk outfit called Sour Face, gigging as schoolkids (this was the era of Ash, who were also about 13-14 when their first EP got them on the radar of Chris Morris and others, and I think were 15/6 when they first appeared on TOTP, although I would imagine Myers would fcuking hate the comparison), supporting ridiculously-famous bands like NoFX in Newcastle and across the North East. If you’ve ever been in a band – or if you’re like me and haven’t, but can remember the band that was on the cusp of making it in your hometown when you were a kid (Cinnamon Smith, RIP) – then this will resonate hugely; I know I am OLD, but there’s something slightly elegiac about this as I can’t imagine this being an experience that’s really possible 30 years hence.
  • The Wrestlers Who Made Soho: Ok, this is VERY LONG, and I appreciate that the title might put some of you off, but, honestly, it would be impossible for me to give less of a fcuk about wrestling and I still inhaled this like it was smoke off tinfoil. Patrick W Reed writes about his unlikely friendship with Twiggy, a former denizen of Soho’s colony rooms, a contemporary of the French House drinking set that congregated there when Soho was still, well, Soho, and from that friendship paints a quite incredibly detailed picture of the area and the people that inhabited it in the mid-to-late-20th Century. Yes, ok, there is stuff about the history of UK wrestling, but also about the history of London, and counterculture, and Bacon and Barnard and so many others, the Coach & Horses and GOD I LOVED THIS IT IS SO GOOD. Seriously, give it a go – but it’s definitely one that needs a whole pot of tea (don’t try and drink through it, although you may be tempted given the general air of booze and fagsmoke that pervades the whole piece).
  • I Ran Away To Spain: Gabrielle De La Puente writes on White Pube about…running away to Spain. This is so so so so so so good, a piece of very personal writing that doesn’t ever feel self-indulgent, long as it is, and which touches on art (obviously) and bodies and illness and self and self-definition and feeling like if there was a button just *over there* that you could press and it would turn you off forever that you would press it so fast noone would even see your arm move, and which really is a great piece of writing that I can’t recommend highly enough.
  • You Are The Product: Finally this week, Paul Dalla Rosa writes about ‘interacting with the internet’ – this isn’t long, but it might be the truest-feeling thing I have read all year and I commend it to you entirely.

By Jeremy Hutchison (via Blort)

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

Webcurios 10/05/24

Reading Time: 36 minutes

SUMMER HAS COME TO LONDON! Or, more accurately, it is not currently raining and that is good enough for me. I would imagine that you’re all excitedly preparing your spangly pants and protest songs in anticipation of Eurovision, so I will keep this intro short and encourage you to dive right in, as otherwise there’s no way you’ll be finished before all the besequinned caterwauling starts.

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and you should probably stick a fiver on that Baby Lasagna song (according to someone I know who understands this stuff; I have no fcuking idea, obviously).

By Michelle Thompson (all images this week lifted from TIH, to whom thanks as ever)

AS YOU WERE DOUBTLESS ALL AWARE IT WAS 45 DAY ON 04 MAY, CELEBRATING VINYL AND ALL ASSOCIATED THINGS, SO HERE IS AN APPROPRIATELY VINYL-Y MIX BY TOM SPOONER WITH WHICH TO CELEBRATE!

THE SECTION WHICH IN THE WAKE OF NADHIM ZAHAWI’S DECISION TO STAND DOWN WOULD LIKE TO REMIND READERS THAT IN HIS YOUTH HE LITERALLY LOOKED LIKE A TERRIBLE STREET MAGICIAN WHO WAS ALSO A PECULIARLY-UNSUCCESSFUL PICK-UP ARTIST, PT.1:  

  • Food For Fish: As regular and assiduous readers will of course know by now, I tend to keep the games and frivolous stuff to the end of Curios, as a sort of reward to you all for ploughing through the weird, unsettling and…more esoteric stuff in the front end (and, look, if all you do is skip to the end then that’s fine too. No, really it is. You consume this however you want, I’m not the boss of you, and, no, really, you *shouldn’t* feel guilty about ignoring all the other good stuff that I spend hours every week foraging JUST FOR YOU…this isn’t helping, is it? Right. Sorry), but I am making an exception this week, because Food For Fish is just BRILLIANT. This is a browser-based point-and-click game in the classic Lucasarts style – think Monkey Island, or Day of the Tentacle, or Sam & Max (hugely contemporary ludic references there! People under the age of 35 – does anyone under the age of 35 read this? I…I doubt it, I’ll be honest with you – google those titles, they are great and worth exploring), except done in what looks like claymation (but is just really nicely-rendered CG), and, honestly, this is fcuking BRILLIANT. You play as a nameless man, living a dull life, who embarks upon a strangely-underpant-fixated adventure under your gentle guidance – the interface is intuitive, and even if you’re not wholly familiar with this sort of game you’ll get the measure of it soon enough (but if you are, you’ll feel a genuine warm hit of nostalgia at the cursor that changes shape to connote the different actions you can take as you hover over an object, and the incidental observations elicited as you click on objects within the various rooms), and, honestly, this is funny and surreal and it even has a lovely piano soundtrack, and I promise you this is just a wonderful way of spending half an hour or so. Who is the main character? What happened to his grandfather? Why is he only wearing a pair of y-fronts, and why does ‘the agency’ want him to build an ‘underpant simulator’? And what is that strange rash on his torso, and the scar on his face all about? CLICK AND FIND OUT! Honestly, this is brilliant and all credit to Kris Temmerman, the Belgian(?) freelance dev who’s knocked this up as what I presume is a sort-of calling card – Kris, should you ever see this know that you have brought me GREAT JOY, so thankyou very much indeed.
  • Taper: If you’re a fan of the HTML Review (see Curios passim) then you will almost certainly also enjoy Taper, which despite having been an occasional thing for six years now I only came across this week. Taper self-describes as ‘an online literary magazine for small computational pieces’, published twice a year – the link takes you to the latest edition, for Spring 2024, but you can explore all the others through the site. Much like the HTML Review, Taper features a selection of…how would I describe this? Digital poems? Explorations of creative code? Slightly-wanky high-concept html-noodling? ALL OF THOSE THINGS! It’s worth setting aside 15 minutes and clicking through a selection of the different works that comprise the issue – there’s a nice range of styles and types of work, from this fun little ASCII flipbook maker which will let you make a short animation of yourself (or whatever you choose to hold up in front of your computer, tbh) using your webcam, to a sunrise poem, and all sorts of things inbetween. Small, odd moments of sometimes obscure, sometimes interesting digital creativity – this is a really nice mental palate-cleanser, should you require one (I can’t possibly think why).
  • Pressmaster AI: You will by now have either read enough about the coming (already here?) wave of what we are now apparently all deciding to call ‘AI slop’ (personally I preferred ‘dreck’, but what do I know? Rhetorical, as ever) which is sweeping the web – if you’re curious as to where it’s coming from, then look no further than services like ‘Pressmaster AI’, which, bizarrely, sells itself as an ‘AI Pr Service’, despite not actually doing ‘PR’ at all – instead, it’s a system which will let you generate a seemingly-infinite quantity of AI-written articles on any topic you like, publish them to the web automatically, and, if you pony up for the fee, publish said dreck through a selection of syndication channels (on reflection, that’s where the ‘PR’ comes in I suppose). Basically what this does is create a ‘digital newsroom’ (anyone who’s worked in PR for a while will have a faint frisson of horror at that phrase) full of terrible GPT-spawned ‘content’, which the service promises will (somehow) rank in Google news and as such deliver untold SEARCH BENEFITS – according to Pressmaster, they get around Google’s attempts to plug the flow of this crap by dint of the workflow, which requires you to basically sketch an outline of the points you want to make (either by dictation or a few notes) rather than just letting the AI go wild – I personally am…skeptical about whether this approach will in fact get you past the anti-machine filters, but the fact that you can basically pay to then have the outputs injected into the low-end feeds of Forbes, BusinessInsider and similar low-quality outlets does rather suggest where this is heading. To be clear, I think that this service is a grift and will not in fact do about 70% of what it says it will do – but, equally, the 30% that it will do will be enough to ensure that approximately 90% of all written material you find published online from…oooh, well, from about NOW actually!…will be exactly this sort of empty, meaningless, information-shaped-but-actually-value-bereft rubbish! GOOD TIMES! If you’d like to read a bit more about this, there’s an interesting longread about a company called Advon, who were behind Newsweek’s recent brush with AI content, here – this is all very US-focused at the moment, but you’d have to be some sort of mad optimist not to see this happening everywhere very soon indeed.
  • Meet Me At The Workers Club: Via Andy, this is another brilliant piece of digital work by the consistently-excellent Molleindustria – this time it’s a gorgeous interactive recreation ‘of Alexander Rodchenko’s Workers’ Club, originally exhibited at the 1925 World Expo in Paris. The virtual copy of the constructivist installation is accompanied by posters, photographs, and breezy texts tracing the historical context of workers’ clubs in the Soviet Union, as well as personal musings about the role of the artist in a time of revolution’. This is not only beautifully made, it’s a lovely way of doing a ‘virtual exhibition’ – small, not too much navigation, nicely-rendered in a way that doesn’t quite to ‘do’ photorealism, and full of interesting interactive bits to learn about – and, personally speaking, the little visual effect when you enter the exhibition and ‘step into the past’ (you’ll see what I mean) is really nicely done.
  • Who Funds Them?: One of those of you in the UK – unless any of the more international amongst you have a peculiar interest in the financial arrangements of UK parliamentarians – this is a project by transparency campaigning organisation MySociety, the people behind They Work For You (the service which provides an easily-accessible record of MPs’ voting history), which is seeking to create a comprehensive record of exactly which organisations and individuals provide funding to which politicians – both as individuals, and the slightly murkier world of All-Party Parliamentary Groups, which as anyone who’s ever worked in campaigning knows are very often simply a ‘cash for access’ project (HEAVEN FORFEND!). The project’s in its nascent stages and at present they are looking either for volunteers to help with the research or a small (£10) donation to help fund the work, and if you can spare a few hours a month (and you’re the sort of person for whom the idea of ‘poring through records and doing some data entry in pursuit of a better politics, which, fine, I appreciate isn’t everyone) then this might be worth a look.
  • Sleep Baseball: I slept DREADFULLY last night – you don’t need to know that, fine, but it might explain some of the dreadful writing that you’re going to experience over the course of what, for me at least, is going to be the next 5 hours or so – as of 743am, I am on my fifth cup of very strong tea and feel slightly like I’m coming down off some quite unpleasant base – but perhaps I should have eased myself into slumber with this most soporific of podcasts. I think this has been going for a while, but amazingly I don’t seem to have featured it before – Sleep Baseball is a series of recordings of full games of baseball, narrated in the gentle style, all of which are completely made-up, with fake teams and players and absolutely no jeopardy whatsoever, just the slow, North American cadence of batters and runners and pitchers and outs (I don’t really understand baseball, does it show?), each of which lasts over two hours and which, from a cursory listen, really is astonishingly soothing and pleasantly-dull, like a sort of sports-themed white noise. Of course, I can’t vouch for the fact that your dreams won’t be full of men spitting tobacco at their feet and making elaborate hand signals to the backstop (see previous comment re ‘not really understanding baseball), but that feels like a small price to pay for, you know, actually being asleep (oh god so tired might cry).
  • The AI Film Festival 2024: Lest it need repeating, AI-GENERATED VIDEO IS NOT READY YET! IT IS NOWHERE NEAR READY! DO NOT BELIEVE THE HYPE (YET)! Still, if you’d like to see the current ‘state of the art’ (we are not counting Sora, because until actual users get their hands on it it is vapourware in my eyes) then you could do worse than checking out this year’s entrants to Runway’s second AI Film Festival – I think the winners were announced at a ceremony last night, but at the time of writing they haven’t updated the site yet. Still, scroll down and you can click the various floating thumbnails to see the entries – I personally don’t find this stuff interesting anymore, partly because of my general lack of interest in the moving image and partly because I have seen a LOT of this stuff over the past couple of years and I am quite sick of the very particular aesthetic and flickery animation that all this stuff inevitably has, but if you’re curious about what is ACTUALLY possible with this kit right now then it’s worth a look (as is this, by Starburst, which is a rare example of an advert using GenAI which…works, I think).
  • Explores UK: Seeing as we’ve been talking a lot of late about AI-generate imagery flooding social media, I thought I’d share a particular example that has been polluting my personal digital ecosystem this week. Explores UK is a Facebook Page (look, there are Groups I find useful, don’t judge me) which has appeared EVERY SINGLE TIME I have opened the webpage this week (I don’t have any of this sh1t on my phone, what do you take me for?) and which is pumping out a frightening quantity of images of BEAUTIFUL LONDON for its audience to ‘enjoy’. Except, as you will discern from clicking and having a quick scroll, this is not a London which anyone familiar with the city would recognise – partly because all the landmarks seem to have moved around, but mostly because all the buses (it LOVES London buses) are going to destinations like ‘Whiiite6 Coi07idy’ or have number plates that read as if you’re currently having a stroke, and the buses themselves…ok, have to admit, the buses look FCUKING COOL, as though the concept car designers at Maranello had been given a massive budget by Sadiq and told to go wild. The comments are a mixture of obvious bots, the occasional confused old person and people shouting ‘AI SPAM’ – WELCOME TO THE FUTURE OF THE SOCIAL WEB, EVERYONE! A warning, by the way – if you use Facebook and you click on this page while logged in, this sh1t will follow you EVERYWHERE.
  • TraxMachine: Are you a MILLENNIAL? Did you grow up online in the safe, welcoming, isometric haven that was Habbo Hotel? Do you have fond memories of the synthtoy that you could access from within the game, and wish that someone had recreated it in-browser so that you could go back to those halcyon days when all you had to worry about was how you were going to decorate your virtual room and whether that boy/girl/other was going to log on or not this afternoon? If so, this is very much your lucky day.
  • AFG Collection: More AI (sorry!), this is a TikTok Page which shares videos of fake history – I feel ok sharing it though because, honestly, if anyone’s going to be taken in by Kodachromes purporting to be from Ancient Egypt then they probably have a wider set of problems and this really is the least of their worries. I think these are all made in Midjourney, judging by the lighting and overall aesthetic, and I was surprised by how interesting I found these odd counterfactual imaginings, which are presented as the photographic records of time travellers returning from the past (time travellers who presumably set off in the 1950s, judging by the photo stock they seem to be using).
  • Great Brandlines: Via my friend Rishi, and one for the copywriters and advermarketingprdrones amongst you, this is a really nicely-designed site pulled together by the Frankly Fluent agency – the idea is to explore the thinking behind some of the world’s biggest brands’ most famous taglines, in part by showing how…wrong, weird and worse they are if you get the words just a little bit wrong. I rather enjoyed hearing the stories behind ‘Just Do It’, ‘Finger Lickin’ Good’ and the like (of course, KEEN STUDENTS of this sort of stuff will know all of this already, but well, maybe you should get out more? I appreciate the intense hypocrisy of that sentence written by a man who writes 10,000 words a week about ‘stuff on the web’, but, well, I embrace it), but my favourite thing about this is the interface (which, fine, isn’t particularly exciting, but is simple and just WORKS).
  • Training The Robots With AI: Via Shardcore, I thought this was interesting – this is a short video posted to Reddit, looking at the success that’s been had using a GPT to train a robot. It’s short, don’t worry, and it’s not complicated – this is more something that made me think about whether we’ve possibly underestimated the extent to which The Machines can do physical, real-world stuff without in fact needing ‘embodiment’ at all.
  • KCTV Now: ANOTHER TikTok (please don’t make me give them their own section, I really don’t want to), this time dedicated solely to sharing clips from North Korean state TV. To be clear, this really is North Korean propaganda – the videos are a mixture of clips showing THE GLORY OF THE SUPREME LEADER AND HIS VISIONARY IDEALS FOR BENEFIT POPULACE and some not-hugely-subtle anti-Western messaging, currently mostly focused on the US’s less-than-sparkling role in the current messin the Middle East – and I take no responsibility whatsoever to what might happen to your FYP should you spend six minutes consuming this stuff, but it’s a really interesting look at how one of the world’s maddest nations (once upon a time I would probably have said ‘maddest’, but it does rather feel like there’s some competition these days) seeks to present itself, and it how it sees the rest of us. This is sort-of funny for a few minutes, until it very much isn’t.
  • The Impact of Energy: A fascinating map, showing (not all, but lots of) the world’s countries and what the environmental impact of their energy usage is RIGHT NOW. This is using data sourced from a whole range of national energy companies and providers and as such as pretty legit, and takes into account domestic energy production (and whether it’s currently drawing from oil, gas or renewables) as well as imports and exports, and it makes for…occasionally sobering reading, particularly in a week when the scientists are once again getting The Fear, not least because of all the places where there’s no data at all and where, one suspects, the story isn’t…great. Also, as an aside, wtaf Poland?!
  • Metal Horse: Oh, ok, fine, ONE MORE TIKTOK. This belongs to a woman called Emily, who I think lives in Canada, and who owns a horse that really, really fcuking LOVES rock and metal – other music, not so much. You may not think that a video of a horse headbanging to Slipknot would be worth your time, but you would be WRONG. Apparently bands have started sending tracks to the horse to get its approval, which frankly is a degree of critical analysis that I think we can all agree is perfectly appropriate.

By Yuwei Tu

OUR NEXT MUSICAL TREAT IS THIS PLAYLIST FEATURING EVERY SINGLE SONG MENTIONED IN THE BEASTIE BOYS BOOK – SERIOUSLY, BOOKMARK THIS, IT IS FCUKING AMAZING AND IS OVER A DAY’S WORTH OF BRILLIANT TRACKS!

THE SECTION WHICH IN THE WAKE OF NADHIM ZAHAWI’S DECISION TO STAND DOWN WOULD LIKE TO REMIND READERS THAT IN HIS YOUTH HE LITERALLY LOOKED LIKE A TERRIBLE STREET MAGICIAN WHO WAS ALSO A PECULIARLY-UNSUCCESSFUL PICK-UP ARTIST, PT.2:

  • Record Club: I know, I know, the last thing anyone wants in the year of our Lord 2024 is ‘another social network’. Or, frankly, any social networks at all. Still, let’s not think of this as a social network – let’s instead think of it as, er, a record club! This is a new online community built by and for music enthusiasts as a place to hang out, chat about music, share recommendations and all that sort of jazz (lol) – crucially, it’s not trying to be a destination for listening, more a space for people to congregate around particular artists or songs or genres, and to find like-minded people who are also into the same sort of thing. Obviously this isn’t a wholly-new premise, and there are doubtless other places online that offer a similar sort of vibe (or which try to), but I rather like both the design and the feel of this – it’s in beta, but I was let in pretty quickly, and if you’re the sort of person who really likes talking about how much the B-side of ‘I Touch Myself’ meant to them as a kid (look, I’m not judging, it takes all sorts) then this may be your new online forever home. I think it reminds me a bit of ‘This Is My Jam’ (RIP, wiv da angles), which may be why I feel so warmly towards it.
  • Etymonline: OH GOD I LOVE THIS. How have I not seen it before? Evidently I am not spending enough time online. I have just checked out the FAQ page and I think this has been going since…2005ish? Anyway, it is OLD – Methuselan by modern web standards – and it is venerable, and it is a BRILLIANT resource for, er, etymology nerds. Are you the sort of person who really, really enjoys finding out the origin of terms like ‘macadam’ or ‘two-step’? GOOD ME TOO! Honestly, the fatigue is really starting to kick in now and it’s all I can do not to abandon you right here and just go to bed and send myself to sleep by going through the linguistic history of the verb ‘to eat’ – but I won’t, because I am DEDICATED and, also, I have compulsive issues which means that I wouldn’t be able to relax chiz chiz. Anyway, this is a genuinely wonderful resource, and as with so many things it’s mainly maintained by a single individual, who, honestly, is a fcuking hero. I can’t stress enough how wonderful I find these sorts of sites, useful and deep and PERSISTENT, and which exist solely because someone is interested and cares and believes it important that it SHOULD exist. It’s almost enough to make me like people, almost.
  • The London GreenGround Map: Another link from Rishi, this (buy his poems, they are great), and another which I am slightly upset I hadn’t known about previously. A piece of design by Helen Ilus, the London GreenGround Map is (roughly speaking) a sort of tube map analogue for the capital’s green spaces, mapping connections and routes between public parks and gardens and areas less blighted by urban sprawl, letting you plan routes that take you through the bits of the city that are yet to be tarmaced over. “An enthusiastic walker and urban explorer Helen travelled widely, studying and working in UK, before coming up with the idea of connecting parks to tube style network for walkers. Fan of Harry Beck’s London Tube map she wondered what would happen combining the schematic mapping with walking routes. As an intuitive traveller she found the schematic maps more accessible in urban environments, but realised they also trap people in transport networks. This is why her maps give priority to green infrastructure, replacing stations with parks and tube lines with walking routes. She has also experimented with creating a walking map for libraries as well as worked with several commissioned maps.” It’s free to download, and if I had access to a colour printer I would totally do a big copy of this and carry it with me – whether or not you want a physical copy, this is SUCH a good way to plan walks and routes, and if you live in London it’s worth looking for your local area and seeing if there are any nearby spaces that are new to you that you might want to explore over the coming few weeks before it gets cold and wet and grey again.
  • London Rent Prices Map: A sub-Page of the previously-featured Pint Prices page (mapping the price of a beer – which, by the way, I saw someone pay £EIGHT FCUKING QUID for a pint of neck oil  the other day, which is an awful lot to pay for beer that bad), this takes data from SpareRoom to map average per-room rental prices across the city. The values are colour-coded, so the lower end of the pricing scale is green while the higher end is red, but it’s important to remember that GREEN DOES NOT EQUAL CHEAP, because there is no cheap housing stock in this fcuking city and you can expect to shell out a minimum of about £800 for a room that is practically in Essex, let alone something on an actual tube line. If you’re looking for somewhere to live, this could actually be useful – you can click into specific areas, and then find individual links back to the SpareRoom listings, which might be helpful if you’re currently unlucky enough to find a new rental (I am sorry, good luck).
  • The Hacker News Map: A map! Of posts on Hacker News! Arranged thematically! You can search, or just zoom in and around – it’s actually a pretty decent search engine given the massive range of topics covered on the site over the years, and you can read a decent explanation of what it is, how it works and how you might use it on this blogpost by its creator Wilson Lin – it’s a surprisingly good way of finding interesting things, and for doing topic-based research (as long as you don’t mind it throwing up things from a few years back), and is a generally interesting place to spend a bit of time digging around.
  • The Water Drinkers: I think I featured a piece on here a few years ago about the weird world of hydration YouTube, where people, mainly young men, would post videos showing them drinking water, performatively chugging a bottle of Evian or whatever, again and again, day after day, maintaining ‘hydration streaks’ (surely, you know, a prerequisite for being alive?) and generally building a small, weird, niche, but dedicated, audience of hydration fans – this link takes you to a spreadsheet listing some of the top water drinkers, how many days their ‘streaks’ have been going, that sort of thing. The person at the top of this leaderboard has been filming themselves drinking water and posting the footage to the web for (at the time of writing) a total of 4541 days, which is a degree of obsessional, and quite possibly deeply-psychologically-unhealthy, dedication to which I can very much empathise.
  • Abandoned Blogs: Via Kris, this is an Are.na board collecting blogs that have been left dormant by their owners. This is INCREDIBLE, a series of windows not only into the past, but into the specific pasts of specific strangers – the blogs collected here (there are over 100 I think) run the gamut from the personal to the obsessional, covering fashion and music and food and ‘just, you know, LIFE’, and there is so much here to explore and enjoy. Some of these will have been abandoned through lack of interest of a loss of focus or simply time and change and, you know, growing up, and some will have been left because their owners don’t exist anymore, and wandering through these is…I wanted to type that it was like wandering through a graveyard, but that makes it sound sad and elegiac in a way that this isn’t. It’s more like walking down a street where all the houses are empty but perfectly-preserved, able to step through any door you choose and explore what was left by whoever once owned it, and it is BEAUTIFUL. I really need to look into forever hosting for Web Curios – given I am never going to procreate, this fcuker is my SOLE LEGACY (literally the saddest line I have ever written, that) and I’m fcuked if I’m letting it decay when I finally manage to get off this mortal coil.
  • Weathersight: Self-describing as ‘tools for data-driven climate journalism’, this is basically a resource that seeks to make weather datasets more easily readable and accessible – genuinely useful for anyone who is involved in researching or looking into all of the various interesting and awful ways we’re fcuking the planet and, by happy extension, ourselves!
  • Tiny Dogs: One of the rare occasions when I feature a commercial endeavour in Curios – but, honestly, it is SO CHARMING that I couldn’t leave it out, even if it is something you have to pay for. Do you have a dog? Would you like to have a tiny version of said dog? A tiny version crafted out of felt? Which looks EXACTLY LIKE YOUR BELOVED HOUND? YES YOU WOULD! Hence Tiny Dogs – this person is based in Austria, and if you send them a photo of your dog they will send you a quote to have it ‘tinified’ – effectively rendered in miniature using what are probably some really quite impressive crafting techniques. Look, I am very much not a dog person – they smell, and you have to take care of them, and having dealt with two terminally ill, bedbound family members already in my short life I’m done with that thankyouverymuchindeed – but these are SO CUTE, and, honestly, if someone you love has a SPECIAL BOY (or girl) of the four-legged variety I can think of few nicer (if unspeakably–twee) gifts for them than this. I also very much enjoyed the short, one-word answer to the ‘Do You Do Cats As Well?’ FAQ (“No”).
  • AI Recruiting: Do any of you work in Human Resources/Recruitment? If so, you might want to skip this next bit. Gone? Good. YOUR DAYS ARE SO NUMBERED! This is a slightly-chilling service, selling itself as a one-stop-solution for (specifically) tech recruitment, which claims that it basically does EVERYTHING automatically – CV vetting, task-setting, interviewing, interview assessment…all managed by The Machine, with the magical, unknowable Black Box deciding who the optimal candidates are without a human ever needing to be involved in the process, undercutting recruitment agencies or headhunters by a purported 80%. “What about bias?”, I hear you cry, “And what about the fact that the process is entirely inscrutable?”. “WHO CARES?”, responds the software company, firing up the AI and effectively putting Randstadt out of business.
  • Books About Food: This is a site made by two guys in London which is designed to be a hub for people – authors and those on the publishing / design side – who are involved in the business of writing about food, a site where they can showcase their work and promote their projects, and it works as a really useful directory of ‘people in food in the UK’. If you are after food writers or stylists or photographers or designers in this space, this feels like a hugely-helpful place to start doing your research; you can focus in on a specific author and see, for example, who art-directed their cookbook, or find inspirations for brand collabs, or find potential recipe writers for a commercial project… If you work in UK food publishing, or foodie advermarketingpr, this is GREAT.
  • Motown Junkies: A proper old-school blog, this: “a track-by-track review of every US and UK Motown single, including all subsidiaries. Not ambitious, then…I’m Nixon, and I’m British. I love music in almost all its forms, and I love Motown…Here’s how this will work. I’m going to do a separate post for every released (or planned) A- and B-side, and these will then be compiled both on the pages for each label, and also in the Master Index, which is just a great big list of everything that’s been posted to date. Unless otherwise noted, for the stuff between 1959 and 1972, I’ve treated the liner notes in the Complete Motown Singles box sets as the Word of God, and will only be dissenting from the officially-sanctioned “party line” where I think it’s important to do so (and noting the conflict). I’ll also provide external links to any information out there which I’ve taken note of, or which might provide useful further reading.” This is excellent, a proper labour of love, and a wonderful way of finding some genuinely brilliant music.
  • Snail Is Inevitable: This is very silly, and also feels like something that you could iterate on in a variety of fun ways. “A snail relentlessly follows your cursor. There’s a fun hypothetical that asks if you would accept the following conditions: you get ten million dollars, but a snail follows you for the rest of your life, and if it ever touches you, then you die. Naturally, I took this hypothetical and made it into a chrome extension (the “snail that follows your cursor” part, not the “getting ten million dollars” part, though you are free to pretend this is the case). Once you press the “start” button on the extension’s popup page, a snail (shoutout Slay the Spire) will invisibly start tracking your cursor’s position. It moves very slowly, but it is always moving. If it touches you, then you die (get a blue screen of death popup).” I installed this earlier this week and it has added a pleasing note of existential angst to my browsing experience, which, fine, may not be what you’re after from a link, but LIVE A LITTLE FFS.
  • Tranquil Words: I enjoyed this. Tranquil Words presents a blank screen on which you type whatever you want – but the words are invisible, unless you choose to reveal them or send the output to yourself via email. Whether you’re interested in practising free writing – you know, that stream of consciousness unblocking technique that a certain subset of ‘creative’ people swear by – or just use it as a secret way to write all sorts of invective about your colleagues or flatmates while they are RIGHT THERE, I very much like the unfettered ‘type your id into the void’-ness of it all.
  • Other Orders: Code which lets you play with text in interesting ways, taking words and rearranging and reordering them in different ways based on different rulesets. Which I appreciate may not make much sense, but will do when you click, I promise. Not practically useful for anything I can immediately think of, but potentially fun from the point of view of experimental writing (or, actually, doing interesting/oblique interrogations of a corpus or single text, which could be useful now I come to think of it). If you’re a very particular type of wordw4nker there’s something interesting/whimsical/romantic you could do with your collected correspondence with a lover here, I think.
  • Courtesy Vulture: Gah, ANOTHER TIKTOK (sorry) – but this is SO GOOD. Stop-motion animation in the ‘weird, and a bit gross’ category, which reminds me, vibe-wise, of Salad Fingers in the best possible way. If you click the link, the first vid on the page is a compilation of previous episodes (each tends to be about 30s long), which will get you nicely up-to-speed (insofar as this makes anything resembling ‘sense’). Aside from anything else this is technically really impressive, props to whoever’s behind it.
  • Dhime: It will almost certainly come as no surprise to anyone reading this that I cannot dance for sh1t – I am largely arrhythmic, afflicted with the ‘dancing white man’s overbite’, and frankly far too tall and thin for my efforts to look like anything other than a collection of coat hangers having an epileptic fit. Still, maybe this will CHANGE MY LIFE – Dhime is a really interesting idea, using AI to teach you how to dance. The deal is that you watch videos of dance routines, then set your phone up to film you attempting to replicate the moves – The Machine then analyses your movements and attempts to work out how similar or otherwise you were to the ideal, and then offer you feedback to improve your spastic flailings. Whether this works I have no idea, and will never, ever find out, but if you’re someone who really wants to nail whatever the current TikTok fad is then a) why are you reading this newsletter? It seems frankly incongruous; and b) this might help.
  • Perfect Pitch: Last up in this section, ANOTHER GAME! Listen to the notes, attempt to map them to the correct keys on a keyboard, and if you’re anything like me realise that you really are tone-deaf to a spectacular degree. This is, honestly, fun, even if you are really, terribly bad at it.

By Chang Ya Chin

OUR FINAL MIX OF THE WEEK IS A SELECTION OF TRACKS THAT SOUND NOT UNLIKE A HARD DRIVE DEFRAGGING ITSELF, BUT IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE, MIXED BY FORMER-EDITOR PAUL! 

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

  • Computers on Law & Order: Why would someone spend some of the finite time on Earth bestowed upon them by a strange and unknowable force compiling photographs of computer equipment being used in the Law & Order TV universe and posting them to a Tumblr? I genuinely cannot begin to imagine, but someone out there has chosen to do so, and, well, who am I to cast aspersions?

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • Manu Kant: Specifically, SEXY, YOUNG, AI IMMANUEL KANT! No, really, look at his cheekbones! FEEL THE WEIGHT OF HIS SMOULDERING CATEGORICAL IMPERATIVE (little Kantian joke for the heads out there)! This was a short-lived art project that, for reasons I can’t adequately explain (despite the writeup here), decided to present selected bits of Kant’s thinking as though they were coming from the mind, and mouth, of a VERY PRETTY 24 year old influencer called Manu Kant. Isn’t he gorgeous? And SO DEEP!
  • The E-Ink Cam: Another Krislink, the E-Ink Cam is a wonderful project, describes by its creator, Kaloyan Kolev, as follows: “eink.cam is a lo-fi digital camera with a tiny energy footprint that makes charming dithered pictures. I like to describe it as a “digital polaroid.” eInk (or ePaper) is an alternative display technology that uses physical ink particles to produce images. eInk displays are much more power efficient and legible in sunlight in comparison to LCD screens, but suffer from slow refresh times and limited color reproduction. While these limitations will be overcome as the tech develops, they also give it an undeniable charm. The images on eink.cam look futuristic and retro at the same time.” I would imagine if they ever chose to make this a purchasable product they would be INUNDATED with orders – I barely ever take photos of anything, and even I want one of these immoderately.
  • John Pork: Who is John Pork? Why, he’s a virtual influencer with the head of a pig! What a silly question! I honestly have no fcuking idea about this one AT ALL.

LONG THINGS THAT ARE LONG!

  • Under the Jumbotron: Apologies for starting this week with yet more about student protests, but this, published this week in the LRB, is an excellent piece of writing which also gave me far more detail about some of the things happening at some US Universities than I’ve seen in other reporting. Quite hard to read this and not think that…this really isn’t a rational or reasonable response to people expressing their displeasure at the actions of their government and the support being afforded to said actions by their academic institutions: “Over the weekend, following the formation of the encampment, a large group of counter-protesters, few to none of whom appeared to be UCLA students, arrived on campus. They screamed, hurled racial slurs and sexual threats (‘I hope you get raped’) at the students, and opened a sack full of live mice – swollen, seemingly injected with some substance – on the ground near the camp. When the counter-protesters dispersed, they left behind a Jumbotron – a massive flat-screen TV, about ten feet high – in the middle of campus facing the encampment and surrounded by metal barriers. Paid security guards remained inside the barriers to protect the screen. For the next five days, the Jumbotron played, on a loop, footage of the 7 October attacks along with audio clips describing rape and sexual violence in explicit terms. Mixed in among the clips were speeches by Joe Biden vowing unconditional support for Israel and ‘Meni Mamtera’, a maddeningly repetitive children’s song that went viral earlier this year when IDF soldiers posted a video of themselves using it as a form of noise torture on captive Palestinians.” Meanwhile, tower blocks continue to be dropped on families while significant swathes of the world’s political and media classes seem unwilling to acknowledge what is quite clearly happening to some very, very unfortunate people, and what has been for months.
  • Liberalism Without Accountability: I know I said I wasn’t going to ‘do’ the Middle East here, way back in October 2023, but it does rather feel like it’s not OK to ignore it. Per this companion piece, also from the LRB, “universities reliant on investment portfolios in a system where mega-profits are made by companies that threaten and destroy human life, influenced by an increasingly radicalised class of billionaires, teaching students whose degrees won’t earn them enough to pay off their loans, managed by supine administrators threatened by (or willingly collaborating with) a reactionary right, who have decided that young people’s minds are being turned against capitalism not by their own lived experience of austerity and racialised police violence but by ‘woke Marxist professors’. This situation has now met with a live-streamed genocide which is supported, and brazenly lied about, by political leaders and commentators who claim to stand for truth and justice. Students, like much of the public, cannot square the reality of what they see with the world as constructed by politicians and the media. Under such circumstances, pitching tents, raising placards and demanding divestment are really quite mild-mannered responses. That they have been met, in many US universities, with militarised policing reflects the fragility of liberalism – in the face of the growing hegemony of the conservative right as well as its own inability to offer a future even to Ivy League college students, let alone the less privileged. There is a refusal by liberals to accept accountability for the world they have created, through their support for wars in the Middle East, their acceptance of growing inequality and poverty, cuts to public services, glacial action on climate change and failure to create secure and meaningful jobs.”
  • How The OpenAI Model Works: Well, sort-of, ish. This is one for those of you who care about the nuts and bolts of The Machine, and how it’s guardrailed – it’s a blogpost by OpenAI in which the company sets out the ‘desired behaviour guidelines’ and outlines what they term the ‘Model Spec’ which is effectively their ‘ur-guide’ to how they think about deploying AI safely and responsibly. I personally found this super-interesting, from a rules/systems/ethics point of view, but your mileage may vary here, I concede.
  • The Return of the Homepage: Kyle Chayka in the New Yorker writes about the growing trend in digital publishing to reprioritise the HomePage as a direct-traffic destination, and the ideas and design principles that motivate that trend. I am obviously very much behind this as an idea, mainly as it reflects the way that I personally like to use the web (nothing a middle-aged man likes to read more than a piece in an international magazine which reinforces the belief that he is right and that the world is finally coming around to his way of thinking!): “Perhaps the platform era caused us to lose track of what a Web site was for. The good ones are places you might turn to several times per day or per week for a select batch of content that pointedly is not everything. Going there regularly is a signal of intention and loyalty: instead of passively waiting for social feeds to serve you what to read, you can seek out reading materials—or videos or audio—from sources you trust. If Twitter was once a sprawling Home Depot of content, going to specific sites is more like shopping from a series of specialized boutiques.”
  • The GoogleTrafficPocalypse Part 2: You may recall that a few months ago I shared a blogpost by a website called HouseFresh, all about how Google updates had basically tanked its traffic, and hence its revenue, and put its existence in jeopardy – this is a followup post by the same site, outlining the response to the initial post, their efforts to reclaim their search ranking and traffic, and the dawning realisation that it might not be possible and the era of ‘traffic to specific niche verticals via search referral’ might in fact be over. This is…not cheering reading if you’re a publisher, particularly not if you’re a small one, but does rather feed into the idea espoused in the previous piece, that audience is more important than traffic, and building the former is a hedge against the death of the latter.
  • Proof of the Tradwife-To-Fash Pipeline: Regular readers will be aware that one of my long-running obsessions has been the insidious creep of Conservative, ‘traditionalist’ values, promoted via social media and acting as a Trojan Horse for all sorts of other less-savoury ideas and ideals, all bankrolled by some Bad People (copyright Mark Menzies) with a view to SHAPING THE GLOBAL DISCOURSE – regular readers will also, in all likelihood, started to roll their eyes every time I mention Peter Thiel (SORRY!) or a creepy cabal of very rich people who are using this stuff as a way of entrenching their position and their worldview in the face of a progressive wave. WELL NOW I HAVE PROOF SO IN YOUR FACES. Ahem. Actually it’s Media Matters that has proof, but this investigation does a nice job of demonstrating that there is a very clear throughline between ‘watching videos of attractive people living a lifestyle out of rural 50s America’ and ‘watching videos about how the gays and the wokes and the browns are ruining everything’. “After we interacted with tradwife content, TikTok’s recommendation algorithm began flooding our FYP with right-wing conspiracy theory content.Our FYP also began displaying medical misinformation and anti-government content, specifically fearmongering about the need to prepare for an impending “civil war.” Of the 327 videos served to the “For You” page in Media Matters’ analysis, 100 (or 30.6%) contained conspiracy theories or apocalyptic fearmongering. After we interacted with tradwife content, TikTok’s recommendation algorithm began flooding our FYP with right-wing conspiracy theory content. Our FYP also began displaying medical misinformation and anti-government content, specifically fearmongering about the need to prepare for an impending “civil war.” Of the 327 videos served to the “For You” page in Media Matters’ analysis, 100 (or 30.6%) contained conspiracy theories or apocalyptic fearmongering.” So there.
  • Reading What Musk Posts: There have been times over the past year or so when for Professional Reasons I have had to read a significant amount of Musk’s social media output, and it is HORRIBLE – as Tim Murphy, writing for MotherJones, discovered when he did the same for a whole week. This won’t tell you anything you don’t know about where Musk’s politics seem to have ended up (or at least it won’t if you’ve been paying attention, which I concede you might not have been because, well, life is short, and maybe you have friends and families and loved ones to be with or something), but it does give you a decent overview of how genuinely fcuking unhinged some of the stuff the world’s richest – and in some important senses, most influential – man thinks is. Still, if you were ever confused as to exactly HOW the ‘woke mind virus’ is goint to destroy humanity, Elon’s explanation can be found herein (I’ll save you the click, just in case): “Imagine if instead of merely rendering forced ‘diverse’ images it decided to make that true in reality, potentially killing millions of people to achieve diversity goals.” I mean, IMAGINE. Jesus fcuking Christ.
  • The Future of Political Campaigning (Thanks To AI): The name Brad Parscale possibly rings a bell to some of you – he was Trump’s digital campaign manager in 2016, and he’s now going ALL-IN on AI to secure the great leaders of tomorrow! None of this will be surprising to anyone who’s spent any time thinking about the potential implications of this stuff, and it’s important to note that people like Parscale (see also: Alexander Nix! Remember that cnut?) are ALWAYS going to exaggerate the efficacy and impact of their techniques, particularly when tech is involved, and also there’s no extant data about whether this stuff moves the needle in any meaningful way, but, equally, read this and try and feel like this is going to be A Good Thing: “Parscale has said Campaign Nucleus can send voters customized emails and use data analytics to predict voters’ feelings. The platform can also amplify “anti-woke” influencers who have large followings on social media, according to his company’s documents and videos. Parscale said his company also can use artificial intelligence to create “stunning web pages in seconds” that produce content that looks like a media outlet, according to a presentation he gave last month at a political conference, where he was not advertised in advance as a speaker. “Empower your team to create their own news,” said another slide, according to the presentation viewed by AP.” This, plus that horrible AI-generated content farm up the top in link 3, equals…probably not great things tbh.
  • How To Play A Game: I really, really enjoyed this essay, by Frank Lantz, all about the question of ‘knowing’ and ‘understanding’ and to what extent AI can be said to do either, and how we might determine when that particular rubicon has been crossed, all through the lens of ‘how we play games, and what we mean when we say that ‘we’ are ‘playing’. This is just a really nice bit of ‘thinking through a series of ideas’, done really well and explained in admirably-clear fashion.
  • Meet My AI Friends: One of a spate of pieces this week in which journalists explore the idea of ‘digital companions’ and the extent to which people are already using them as virtual conversation partners, confidantes and the rest. This first one is by Kevin Roose, who spends a week with a variety of different bots by different platforms, all set up to do slightly different things…and finds himself not quite as repelled by the experience as he expected (but, equally, doesn’t at any point give the impression that he’s going to carry on using any of them beyond the period it took him to research the arcticle). This, by contrast, is the WSJ on how AI bots can be potentially useful as a way to practice difficult conversations – which, personally-speaking, strikes me as fcuking bullshit, given that all the major models can raise their register to, at most, a tone of mild irritation which I don’t think necessarily maps to the real-world experience of, I don’t know, telling your husband you’ve been boning the gardener for a year. Finally there’s this one, in The Verge, with the inevitable ‘the teens are talking to the robots!’ scare-take (it’s actually not that fearmonger-y, in its defense), which makes the point that Character.ai is…pretty popular with kids, and there must be a reason for that. Each of these takes a slightly different perspective, but it’s interesting that there’s now a certain sort of sense of inevitability about the fact that ‘talking to The Machine’ (or, more accurately, A machine) is going to be A Thing, which feels…accurate, given the likelihood that this stuff is going to be baked into everything as soon as it passes a (relatively-low) threshold of ‘good enough’.
  • Money Dysmorphia: Or, ‘how TikTok and the strange whiplash of consumerist and doomerist content, is causing no little cognitive dissonance’ (fine, their title is pithier). None of this is new per se – being presented with images of a lifestyle that is presented as attainable but is in fact really not attainable for you at all, ever, is something that’s as old as consumer culture and capitalism, after all – but I find the acceleration of it via TikTok (not just TikTok, to be clear, but let’s use that as an analogue for the always-on, fullscreen video onslaught of THE NOW) an interesting wrinkle. I have mentioned this a few times over the years in here, but it once again brought to mind Emile Durkheim’s concept of ‘anomie’, which can be characterised as ‘the gap between what an individual is told they can expect from life by society and what is actually available or achievable to them’; the larger the gap, the greater the degree of social dysfunction. Just saying.
  • When The Yanks Came For Soccer: As a Chelsea fan (yes, I know, but my dad lives literally 5 mins from Stamford Bridge and I went to all the home games for about 5 years when we were REALLY SH1T, so I think it’s entitled) I felt this one very personally indeed – this is the New York Times looking at the influx of US ownership into UK football and how it’s being received (badly) and whether they care (no) and why that is (money). The whole piece is worth reading, but I’ll leave you with the closing quote which honestly encapsulates the views within pretty much perfectly: ““Our fans are like, ‘We like tradition,’” Edens said. “And I tell them: ‘No, you don’t. You think you do, but you don’t.’ I mean, who doesn’t like a big-screen TV with plenty of food and beer?” Then he spread his arms wide and answered his own question: “Nobody.””
  • How Pokemon Players Are Messing With Maps: This is quite a small story, but it falls under one of my favourite subheadings – to whit, ‘ways in which digital stuff bleeds into the physical world and has strange repercussions that noone could reasonably have foreseen’. In this instance it’s about Pokemon GO! players who are fcuking up the open source mapping community by altering map data so as to increase the chances of generating in-game spawns of certain monsters (because the game uses OpenMaps for its terrain data). Perfect ‘weird future’ story, this one.
  • A History of Videogame Controllers: Honestly, if you have ever played videogames or if you work in product design, or interaction design, or UX, this is FASCINATING – this piece takes you through the evolution of the game interface, from the esoteric dials and knobs of the earliest consoles in the 70s and 80s, through the the glorious era of microswitches in the 1980s, to the incredibly-designed controllers ushered in by the PlayStation and XBox. Very geeky, fine, but it’s design and so probably just about socially acceptable.
  • The Contestant: This is a lovely little article/interview, about a story you may recall from the distant past. “Naked, alone in a tiny room in Japan, Nasubi had one way to survive: submit entries for sweepstakes. For 15 months beginning in 1998, Nasubi lived in isolation, entering sweepstakes to win food, clothing and other items, while his movements were captured on camera for the wildly popular Japanese reality TV show, “Susunu! Denpa Shonen.” A 22-year-old aspiring comedian, Nasubi had willingly entered this reality TV challenge, a segment titled “A Life in Prizes,” thinking that footage would be recorded and possibly aired after it was over. In actuality, he was being broadcast to millions of viewers across Japan every week.” Oddly-heartwarming.
  • Videogame Clouds: No, wait, come back! This is, I promise, SO CUTE and also really interesting – for Eurogamer, Christian Donlan goes to talk to the founder of the UK Cloud Appreciation Society about the depiction of clouds in videogames, and it turns into a genuinely wonderful article about clouds and games and what and why we find things interesting, and about how two people can find a degree of shared interest and commonality in unexpected places. If nothing else you will be CHARMED by Mr Cloud himself, Gavin Pretor-Pinney, and the frankly BOUNDLESS enthusiasm he displays for cumulostratus and the like (this piece contains significantly more excited swearing than I was expecting, put it that way).
  • Brains As Food: A history of people eating brains – I adored this from a ‘writing about food’ point of view, and the history (and some of the recipes!) are fascinating, but, equally, the part of me that really struggles with corporeality and being made of meat found it an intensely-uncomfortable read and I was very, very conscious of my brain sitting inbetween my ears, heavy and just sort of *there*, as I read. See how you get on – you may be less discomfited by the general idea of ‘having a body’ than I seem to be these days.
  • Gmail As A Diary: A selection of writers look back at their old emails, as Gmail marks its second decade. I loved this, partly because I’ve long had an occasional habit of picking a date in the past and going back into Gmail and seeing what I was doing and who I was writing to, and what I was thinking, and if you have the opportunity I promise you that you will want to do the same after reading this (I just dropped into 2004 and found someone on Pobitch who sent me an mp3 of ‘The Other Cheek’ by Tanya Stevens (thankyou, mysterious neverundersold@gmail.com!) – God, I have always loved the web.
  • Failed Attempts at Human Flight: This is fascinating, very funny, and will make you wince more often than I care to mention – this is by Joe Fassler, who’s written a whole book on the topic but here pulls out the highlights of all the times in the past when people hurled themselves off tall structures in the hope of magically taking to the skies. Unsurprisingly, this is an account littered with painfully-splintered shins, punctured organs and death – it’s occasionally sobering to take a moment to think about how much of what we currently enjoy is built upon what I can only characterise as a pyramid of corpses going back through history (like eating mushrooms), so, er, maybe don’t think about it too hard.
  • How The Cabbage Patch Kids Are Born: I have, I am aware, featured a piece about the Cabbage Patch Factory in here before, but as far as I recall it didn’t go into detail about, er, how the dolls are ‘born’. This one does. It is FCUKING WEIRD.
  • The Battle For Attention: I started this piece thinking it was going to be about advermarketingpr, or selling things to people, and I was prepared to abandon it after a few paragraphs and then it turned into something completely other and I realised it is BRILLIANT. I don’t want to spoil this for you, but about ⅓ of the way through the author learns something that pretty much totally changes the direction of the piece and it becomes SO much more interesting. Look, er, if anyone reading this happens to know any more about the organisation here described, fancy getting in touch?
  • The Last Thing My Mother Wanted: I thought this was an astonishing piece of writing, but it’s worth pointing out that it is about quite a lot of Hard Things – bad parenting and trauma and death and suicide and and and. Still, I found it beautiful, but be aware that it deals with ISSUES.
  • The Feast of St John: Finally this week, the now-obligatory link to an article in The Fence – this one is about the author’s stint doing a stage at London restaurant St John, famed for its ‘eat the whole animal’ style of cooking and where work involves a LOT of viscera. I know St John well – for a few years I worked in the building directly next door, and would pop down and get fresh doughnuts from the bar for elevenses – and this is not only a wonderful piece of writing about food and cookery but also about place. I have no real regrets in life, but I genuinely wish that rather than going to university and ending up some fcuking advermarketingprwebmong I had gone into cookery instead – I would have been good, I think. Oh well, next life (lol).

By Andrew Brischler

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

Webcurios 03/05/24

Reading Time: 37 minutes

Hello everyone, hello hello! For those of us in the UK, this weekend is a GLORIOUS THREE-DAY WEEKEND, and oh look what a surprise it’s going to rain all weekend FFS BRITAIN CAN YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT?!?! Still, on the plus side, at least we get to watch some of the worst cnuts in the world get the first of their MASSIVE ELECTORAL BATTERINGS while the drops hammer down – silver linings and all that.

Anyway, that’s by way of brief introduction to this week’s Curios, which as ever on weekends such as this contains more than enough internet to see you through until Tuesday (unless, heaven forfend, you have, I don’t know, BETTER THINGS TO DO with your three days of illusory freedom than spend them indoors, clicking like some sort of dopamine-starved ape in captivity) – I hope you enjoy ALL OF THE LINKS!

Oh, and before we move on, a quick note of congratulations to two Friends of Curios who have new projects out this week; Jared, whose frankly INSANE ‘Big Book Of Cyberpunk’ anthology was published this week in the UK and which is sort of a must-read for anyone interested in the genre (and, frankly, even if you don’t think you are), and Caitlin, who relaunched ‘Links I Would GChat You’ this week, with a subscription tier, and whose newsletter is one of half-a-dozen (see also Garbage Day, Today in Tabs and a couple of others) which I really do consider essential reading.

Anyway, enough of all this sickening niceness and camaraderie – on with the cynicism and the links and the general sense that we’re all going to die and, honestly, that it can’t come soon enough!

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and you’re alright, you can live forever for all I care. 

unpopped bubblegum bubble that has saliva all over it, gross

By Suzanne Saroff

WHY NOT EASE YOURSELF INTO THIS WEEK’S LINKS BY ENJOYING 45 MINUTES OF BLUES RECORDS FROM ALL OVER THE PLACE, MIXED INTO COHERENCE BY TOM SPOONER? 

THE SECTION WHICH LAST NIGHT WENT TO SEE A SOLO SHOW STARRING A SINGLE, VERY NAKED, MAN, AND HAS BEEN HAVING A LOT OF ANALLY-FOCUSED FLASHBACKS THIS MORNING WHILE WRITING WHICH HOPEFULLY DON’T COME THROUGH IN THE PROSE, PT.1:  

  • Cosine Club: Ok, I probably need to preface this one with a small caveat – I don’t really listen to algorithmically-mandated streams (I am OLD, and so it’s Radio4 all day and then ‘stuff I have bought and uploaded to YT Music’, and I don’t do Spotify, and oh God even writing this stuff down makes me feel like some sort of weird Cnut figure (the king who did the whole ‘sea’ thing, not a poorly-bowdlerised swear, to be clear)), but for those of you who do there’s an outside chance that this won’t be quite as jaw-droppingly magical as it was for me. BUT! Just give it a try – seriously, I think it is MAGIC. This came to me via the lovely people at LWSTD, and it is basically the most astonishing ‘find a soundalike’ tool I have ever seen, ever – basically the site has about 1.3million songs in its database, and if you type in something it knows it will then proceed to spit out a selection of tracks that ‘sound a bit like it’, ranked by exactly how similar The Machine thinks they are. The thing is that the ‘soundalike’ tech is SO INCREDIBLY GOOD – it somehow isolates very specific elements from a song, a synth line, say, or an individual drum pattern, and so you will be presented with songs that don’t, at first listen, quite match, but which you will then suddenly realise share a fundamental piece of musical/structural DNA, and, honestly, it’s like one of those optical illusions where you realise that – DEAR GOD! – it is simultaneously an old woman AND a young woman! I can’t stress quite how amazing this repeatedly felt to me – fine, I am pretty much the opposite of ‘musically gifted’, and have ears that somehow manage to be simultaneously made of cloth AND tin, but I lost count of the number of times I found things that matched my original input in ways that JUST MAKE SENSE. It’s worth pointing out that the selection of music in here tends to skew quite heavily towards beats and techno and the more obscure end of the spectrum, and it’s bad at hiphop (in that it doesn’t really seem to have much), but if you have a passing knowledge of any sort of dance music whatsoever from the past 30 years then you can have some quite insane fun with this. I personally recommend thinking of the maddest, oddest track you can, plugging that in and then following the rabbithole – some personal highlights for me have been finding this frankly insane Diamanda Galas version of ‘Swing Low, Sweet Chariot’, which really does have to be heard to be believed, and this genuinely superb bit of…90s? German hiphop, and SO MUCH MORE. Seriously, I can’t stress enough what an incredible way of finding new, interesting and, frankly, incredibly weird music from all over the world, and if you’re a DJ I can imagine this is also just incredibly professionally useful. Please, please, please give this a go, it really is quite astonishing.
  • Otto Von Schirach: I don’t normally put music in this section, but following on from the last link I wanted to give this person his very own bulletpoint (he will never know the honour bestowed upon him, chiz chiz) – Otto Von Schirach is an American musician who makes…oh, Jesus, I can’t. Just click the link and have a listen and spend a few moments with your eyes closed trying to imagine what sort of venue you would be likely to hear these sorts of sounds in – this feels to me like the auditory equivalent of being inside a can of Monster Energy while it’s shaken VERY HARD by some unpleasant kids who are blowing clouds of unpleasantly-scented Blueberry-Pineapple-Bubblegum Lost Mary smoke at you, but you will doubtless have your own similes you’ll want to deploy.
  • A Friend Is Writing: I was having a brief chat with someone about sound on webpages this week (I’m a thrilling interlocutor), and we agreed that as a rule it’s…kind of annoying, frankly. There are, though, exceptions, and this – which, if I’m honest, is more of a collection of short essays than it is a ‘fun’ webtoy or anything similar, but please don’t let that put you off – is an example of the audio design really working with the ‘point’ of the project in a way that reinforces the message rather nicely. ‘A Friend Is Writing’ is basically an essay about ‘text on the web’ – the design of textual communication, the design conventions of modern chat interfaces, the strange chaos of multi-platform, multiparticipant conversations, and what that all means for meaning and focus and memory – but it’s presented in a way that perfectly underpins every single message it’s delivering about attention and focus. You really do need the sound to be on for this, and if you find it annoying initially then, well, I think that’s sort-of the point. Really, really nice design work, imho, by Callum Copley.
  • Friend: Many, many years ago – circa 2010, I think – I came across a device called the ViconRevue, which was a pendant designed to be worn around the neck and whose gimmick was that it would capture video of what it saw 24/7 (doubtless appalling-quality video, but still). This was very much the nascent era of that particular strain of quantified-self-ing which was huge in the 00s, and there wasn’t really any suggestion of what the fcuk you were supposed to do with a thousands of hours of intensely-mundane first person footage, but it felt somehow interesting and full of vague possibility. Friend (the name does rather scream ‘DON’T THINK US CREEPY!’) is a fully-funded Kickstarter project which still has three weeks to run and which offers you the chance to own an “open-source AI wearable for effortless conversation capture. Just connect it to your mobile device and automatically save high-quality transcriptions of meetings, chats, and voice memos wherever you go. Get instant summaries, key highlights, mind maps, to-do lists, and more – no tedious note-taking required. Liberate yourself to fully engage in conversations with this ultimate hands-free solution.” So, basically, a forever memory for every conversation you have, with the contents automatically transcribed, fed to the Machine and filleted however you ask…Is this something we want? I don’t think it’s per se bad by any stretch of the imagination, but I am increasingly…interested in questions around what happens to us when we don’t really have the opportunity – or the excuse, frankly – of forgetting, where everything we say to anyone ever is a potential receipt…I’m not, personally, convinced that a world in which we’re all recording our conversations all the time is going to do great things for everyone, but, equally, it’s hard not to imagine, as the cost of this stuff comes down, and battery life becomes less of an issue, and you can keep a reasonable class of AI model loaded onto your glasses as a local, lightweight build, that that’s not a reasonably-likely direction of travel. Anyway, chuck these people some money and YOU TOO can start to apply the whole ‘my personal STASI’ approach to your interpersonal communications!
  • Future Record: I’ve wondered a few times over the past few months at the lack of any interesting, or good, branded use of generative AI stuff from an advermarketingpr point of view – this effort, by BMW, continues the trend of every single branded instance of the tech in the wild by being pointless and underwhelming (sorry, but really). This is a MAGICAL AI MUSIC TOY designed to…er…help you ‘create a record that embodies what ‘Tomorrowland’ means to you’ (Tomorrowland being a Belgian music festival, as I learned when trying to work out what the fcuk that sentence was supposed to mean), and which does so by taking you through a series of questions which inevitably get compiled into a prompt to feed to Suno or whatever music gen AI is sitting in the back. Choose a stage name, dedicate your record to something (I began to suspect that this was utter tripe when I was presented with a menu of options that included ‘my son’, ‘the galaxy’, ‘nature’, ‘the people of tomorrow’ and ‘the ocean’ – sadly you’re not allowed a freetext input here, meaning I wasn’t able to craft a hardstep banger dedicated to ‘The Great Satan, Devourer of Worlds’), choose your BPM (it was at this point that I realised that this was very much a Northern European activation, as the music starts at a reasonably-hard 120 and lets you crank it up to a pleasingly aggressive 172), pick the ‘vibe’ (euphoric, melancholic, etc), and finally pick a ‘way you feel about tomorrow’(!) from a list of options (‘exhilerated’! ‘Unified’! ‘Euphoric’! Er, ‘wistful’!) and BOOM! You have a genuinely-dreadful piece of reasonably-generic EuroDance which you will never, ever listen to or think of ever again! Was that worth the spend, BMW? WAS IT????? I would posit that it was not, even if it did allow me to create this masterpiece and share it with all of you (in fairness, I have to say the DJ talking your track in is a nice touch, but JESUS GOD THIS IS SO HORRIBLE).
  • People Missing The Old Web: Molly White, of ‘Web3 is Going Great’ fame, this week asked people on Twitter (and elsewhere) ‘what do you miss about the way the web used to be?’ – she writes up her thoughts on what she found, and about how we might get back to that sort of way of thinking and being online, here, but the thing I found more interesting was reading through the replies to her original question. There’s something fascinating about seeing how everyone else characterises what *they* consider to be the halcyon days of being online, and while White is right that there’s a degree of ‘the reason I think it was better is because I was <20, and loads of things from when we were <20 get fixed in our minds as ‘better’ because that’s just how we work’, there’s also a lot of interesting commonalities – the idea of the web being a place you visited and then left rather than a constant film over every aspect of your life (oh, ok, the ‘film’ analogy is mine), the idea of things feeling ‘made’ rather than prefabricated, the lack of ubiquitous monetisation…I am pointing at this not because I’m some sort of miserable old fcuk staring back at the past and feeling vaguely-nostalgic (although I’m not saying that’s NOT the case either), but more because I think there’s actually quite a lot of interesting and potentially-useful qualitative anecdata in here about how, should you be building something for the web in 2024, you might consider thinking about it should you want to STAND OUT or just, you know, make something that people like and which doesn’t make them feel miserable or sad.
  • Hypnovels: An AI-enabled tool to help people market their books, basically. Per the blurb, “Not long ago, while working on the launch of a sci-fi book about artificial intelligence, we stumbled upon an idea: Could we use a book chapter to prompt an animation? Instead of mimicking movies based on books, we decided to create a unique visual language that set AI free to transform the words into one cohesive hypnotic dream.” Which, if I’m honest, sounds more interesting than what this ends up in practice being – to whit, you plug in a chapter of your book, pick from a few variables in terms of visual style and (I think) V/O, and feed it to The Machine, which will then spit out a video featuring a synthesised voice reading out your chapter while semi-abstract animations, featuring elements inspired by and drawn from the text, unspools beneath the audio. This isn’t…bad, to be clear, it’s just that a whole chapter of a book is quite long when being read out, and even longer when it’s being read by AI (the tech is, as ever, getting better by the second, but I personally can’t really stand machine-generated voices for longer than about 30s at a time), and as such the animations simply aren’t coherent or interesting enough to hold your attention alongside the narration. That said, it feels like there might be *something* here, just not quite in this shape.
  • Sleep Coach Layla: From what I’ve heard, having a new child is largely terrifying – the whole ‘I have no idea what I am doing, why am I responsible for keeping a human being alive, what if I break it?’ thing being particularly acute amongst new parents – and the vexatious issue of ‘how to make the little fcukers sleep for longer than 30m at a time’ is particularly tricky to navigate. Based on the fear of fcuking up, and the importance of getting it right, would YOU take advice on ‘how to get your kid to sleep’ from ‘a black box on your phone’? Would YOU pay a tenner a month for the privilege? In the vanishingly-unlikely instance that the answer to either of those questions is ‘yes’, then WOW will you like ‘Sleep Coach Layla’, an app which effectively outsources the question of ‘so, what’s the best way of instilling good sleeping habits in my kid?’ to what I presume is an open source LLM. Maybe one of the hidden emergent properties of generative AI is its uncanny ability to get a nine-month old kid to sleep through the night! It is possible! But, equally, I really fcuking doubt it.
  • Electronic Sackbut: This is ace. The Electronic Sackbut is a musical instrument housed at the Canada Science and Technology Museum, which is, based on the image on this website, made out of wood and wire and old transistors, and which, thanks to THE MAGIC OF THE INTERNET, you can play a virtual version of on this webpage. “Unlike electromechanical instruments such as the Hammond organ (with which Le Caine was familiar), the Electronic Sackbut used an entirely different method of sound generation and control known as voltage control. This method later became the standard approach in electronic music. Because it pioneered this technique, the Sackbut is considered to have been the first synthesizer. The Electronic Sackbut produced only one note at a time, but its systems for control of that one sound were extraordinary: the keyboard was sensitive to vertical pressure, so that alterations of pressure produced changes in volume, and it was also laterally sensitive, so that side-to-side motion produced subtle (or dramatic) sliding changes in the pitch of the sound. While the right hand played the keyboard, selecting notes and controlling volume and vibrato, the left hand operated an innovative waveform control device that could continuously change four different aspects of the texture of the sound. It was for this versatility in pitch and timbre that Le Caine named his instrument the sackbut, after an ancestor of the modern trombone dating from the Renaissance and Baroque eras.” This both sounds great, and is also just slightly-overengineered – I really enjoy the way you can twiddle the knobs on the digital machine, for example, and that toggling switches and features has a visual cue (you’ll see what I mean when you click – it’s really rather cute), and the only thing that could possibly improve this would be the ability to record your vaguely-renaissance-sounding plinks and plunks.
  • View From The ISS: A nice bit of webwork combining a view of where the International Space Station currently is in its orbit above the planet with the livestream of what it’s seeing RIGHT NOW as it passes across the skies (OK, at the time of writing (814am, for those of you who like to be told) it’s seeing the square root of fcuk all given that it’s traversing Canada and it is nighttime there, but you get the idea I hope).
  • The Nostalgia Machine: There’s been a study doing the rounds in the past few weeks demonstrating with ACADEMIC RIGOUR what we have all known for years – to whit, that the BEST MUSIC IN THE WORLD EVER, for you, is most likely to be that which you encountered when you were about 14/15, and this is where people’s tastes tend to begin to calcify. Should you wish to scratch a particular musical itch and GO BACK IN TIME, this site neatly does that for you – plug in a year and it will spit out THE GREATEST BANGERS from that 12 month period. It is, sadly, North American, which means that it’s based on (I presume) the Billboard 100 or radio airplay or something, which means that there’s an awful lot of incredibly generic MOR/AOR stuff and forgettable R&B on the lists I’ve spun up, but there’s also enough stuff that I actually remember to make it worthwhile. This really would benefit from a ‘click to make this a Spotify playlist’ button, or even a YT playlist tbh, but, quibbles aside, it’s fun for a few minutes of past-spelunking.
  • Animate Your Words: This is a demo on Github, but it’s really rather lovely – basically it demonstrates how, using AI, you can effectively make elements of a printed word animate in a way that speaks to the meaning of the word being animated. Which, yes, is a godawful attempt to explain what the fcuk is going on here, but thankfully there’s a video right at the top of the page which does a far better job so you can stop reading this rubbish now and click the link, I don’t mind, really.
  • GlobeTrots: This week’s ‘viral content sensation’, at least in my corner of the web, was this TikTok channel, whose entire thing is doing ‘Top 10s’ of slightly obscure, slightly odd things, set to muzak and with an AI voice over. ‘The Top 10 Largest Tescos in the UK!’, ‘The Top 5 Spots for Knifecrime in the UK!’ (admittedly less ‘lol, BIZARRE’, that one), ‘Which Country Has The Highest Number Of Tanks?’, that sort of thing. I don’t know why these work – partly because lists are always sort-of compelling, partly the deadpan V/O, partly the fact it’s…just so sh1t? And, inevitably, because it plays into the increasingly-accurate international stereotype of ‘England as a country where it always rains and people are obsessed with terrible shops and everyone is cry-laughing about how much it sucks and how it costs £30 to breathe and will CUT YOU IF YOU SLAG THE KING’.

By Anthony Gerace (via TIH)

NEXT, A TRULY BEAUTIFUL NEW ALBUM BY JIM CANNING YATES, WHICH HONESTLY DESERVES TO BE LISTENED TO PROPERLY AND NOT WHILE YOU’RE READING THIS DREADFUL SH1T! 

THE SECTION WHICH LAST NIGHT WENT TO SEE A SOLO SHOW STARRING A SINGLE, VERY NAKED, MAN, AND HAS BEEN HAVING A LOT OF ANALLY-FOCUSED FLASHBACKS THIS MORNING WHILE WRITING WHICH HOPEFULLY DON’T COME THROUGH IN THE PROSE, PT.2:      

  • Prosperity Quest: Welcome back to the world of ‘massively-overengineered game experiences designed to somehow promote financial literacy via the medium of a gentle, 3d adventure game’! Yes, that’s right, once again an international financial services institution has seen fit to spaff a bunch of its digital marketing budget on some sort of vaguely-educational ‘game’ – oh, hang on, this time it’s Intuit, which is apparently an accountancy software provider rather than a bank. Still, fcuk it, the principle is the same – wander round a nicely-rendered 3d environment, completing tasks and learning about such exciting principles as ‘profit’, ‘loss’, and ‘massively overleveraging yourself in a desperate attempt to keep ahead of the coming tsunami of financial ruin’ (the last one, fine, may be an invention of my own). This is actually…quite fun (ok, ‘fun’ with a very small ‘f’, but still) and is actually rather nicely made/designed, and, honestly, if you work in advermarketingpr for something tedious and unfun like – well, like accounting software, for example – then why not spend the afternoon playing around with this under the guise of ‘research’? DO IT.
  • Beautiful Air Patterns: Oh, this is so so so pretty! Effectively a bunch of air traffic data layered over a world map, this lets you zoom anywhere in the world and pull visualisations of the movements of aircraft – you can select various types of data (so, for example, ‘all the planes’, or ‘high performance aircraft’ or, should you be so minded, ‘balloons’) and each will produce a different, beautiful visualisation of the movements of the craft, beautifully coloured and just generally presenting as pieces of semi-abstract art. Take a moment to scroll around the airspace of a country you’re familiar with – there’s something lovely about seeing the takeoff and landing routes being represented like this, and when I look at London’s data it’s possible to see the exact ways in which flights route over and around the city, which is, weirdly, giving me proper visual memory flashbacks of what the city looks like from the window as you make those turns…I love this, and I am pretty much the opposite of an aviation nerd, meaning if you like planes and stuff then you probably want to take a beta blocker before clicking this lest it all become Too Much.
  • Folio400: This is a project that formed part of the 400th anniversary of Shakespeare’s First Folio – the first printed edition of his collected works – which took place last year and which I singularly missed. Anyway, this contains all sorts of information about Shakespeare and his works and the history of the Folio, and where copies can be found, and the people involved in its genesis and eventual publication…if you’re interested in the Bard then this is pretty great, and there’s an outside chance that there will be some of you whose kids are in the throes of exam season and who might find this maybe slightly useful (but, more likely, your kids in the throes of exam season really don’t need you throwing additional ‘helpful’ sources and resources at them as they struggle to cram several years of learning into their already-overstuffed skulls).
  • Watch Films On Atari ST Cartridges: Look, this is far, far too geeky and too technical for me, and probably involves you having to do all sorts of actual technical and vaguely-codey stuff, but for all I know there may be some of you for whom the allure of a home crafting project that will eventually allow you to watch full films in terrible resolution via the medium of a games console from four decades ago will be almost powerfully-erotic, and so I leave this link here for you.
  • We Expire: I’m rather a fan of this idea. We Expire is another ‘message from beyond the grave’ services to enable you to let people know when you’ve shuffled off this mortal coil (or been taken seriously ill). “WeExpire is an opensource tool for creating emergency notes that can be read by your trusted contacts only after your death or if you are seriously injured. Soon after you write your note, it will be encrypted and converted into a QR code which you can give to a person you trust. When this person tries to access your message, WeExpire will try to contact you via email as soon as possible; if you do not reply within the period of time you previously defined, your note will become visible to your trusted person.” So basically a Dead Man’s Switch – but, generally, A Good Idea, I think.
  • Explain That Stuff: Oh God, this is quite incredible, and all, apparently, the work of a single human being. Explain That Stuff has been apparently going for AGES (sorry, sorry, late again), and is basically a resource (primarily designed for kids and young people, but not exclusively so) full of articles which Tell You How Things Work And Why. “Explain that Stuff is an online book written by science writer Chris Woodford (author of many popular science books for adults and children). It includes over 400 easy-to-understand articles, richly illustrated with over 4000 photos, artworks, and animations, covering how things work, cutting-edge science, cool gadgets, and computers. We take the “pain” from explain and the “tough” out of stuff! There’s more information on this website than in your average expensive science book, it’s  continually updated, and it’s completely free to use!” I am in awe of this, and have fallen slightly in love with Chris Woodford – the generosity on display here is astonishing, the amount of work and care and attention that has gone into building the site and the corpus of information, and to give it away for free is SO NICE and genuinely warms the cockles of my nonexistent heart. Aside from anything else, the ‘About’ Page is an object lesson in how to clearly and cogently address any and all questions about a website, copyright, reuse and fair use, and is so eminently sensible and clear that I want to point other publishers at it with a short note reading ‘learn’.
  • Classics Garage: Do you like cars? Do you like CLASSIC CARS? Do you like looking at classic cars from a variety of angles, admiring their paintwork and the flare of their exhausts and the detailing on the hubcaps? Do you wish that there was a website that let you do that to your obsessive heart’s content? OH GOOD! This is, as far as I can tell, just a hobby/showcase site, made by the frankly-fabulously-named Anderson Mancini (seriously, WHAT a name), which features 4 different models of vaguely-luxe vehicle that you can perv at digitally to your oily heart’s desire.
  • Doom Scroll: Via Andy, this is a really nice bit of clever webwork which basically uses smart coding and (I presume) some sort of parallax effect (is this wrong? Am I being an idiot here) to basically give you a little game-like interactive experience styled to look and feel like Doom. Basically as you scroll you ‘move’ through the map, on rails, with the ability to click to ‘shoot’ the various monsters as you pass through. It’s very much a trick, but a very neat trick, and I wonder whether there might be some of you for whom this might act as EXCITING CREATIVE INSPIRATION.
  • One Button Tekken: Ok, this is quite niche, but also quite funny and also feels like there might be a vague half idea in here somewhere. Tekken 8 is a fighting game which came out a few months ago – in common with all fighting games, the core mechanics are based around what is effectively a very complicated game of ‘rock, paper, scissors’, with players attempting to put together strings of moves that will be either complex enough, or disguised enough, that their opponent won’t be able to either work out or input in time the presses required to trigger the string of counters that would protect them (basically – I had to learn about this stuff when PRing StreetFighter IV about 17 years ago, and it stays with you a bit). Anyway, someone on Twitch has set up a bot which plays online Tekken matches in a very particular way – by simply spamming one button, repeatedly, over and over again, which amusingly seems to be enough to achieve a pretty decent ranking in global leaderboards. You can read more about the project here – I really like the idea of creating these very silly, very specific bots and putting them out into the wild to see how people play with them, and it feels like there’s…something in this, but I’ll admit to flagging slightly at this moment in time so I’ll leave it to you lot to figure out what.
  • Air Bark: Do you regularly fly internally in the US, or transatlantically from London to New York? Do you wish that when you did so you could, rather than sharing a plane with pesky people, instead share it with LOVELY DOGS? Well apparently that is now a thing that you can do, thanks to Air Bark, a seemingly legitimate and going concern, which will, for a fee (we’ll get to that bit) take you and your pampered pooch on a plane ride like no other, with planes kitted out especially to provide comfort for your pet. “The planes we operate are Gulfstream G5s and we never book to their full capacity to ensure you and your dog have enough room to spread out comfortably. The cabin will be prepped with calming aids such as: pheromone, music, warm lavender scented refreshment towels, and other comforts to help each dog feel settled. Our concierge will also have a ‘just in case’ bag filled with calming treats, leashes, poop bags, and more will be provided at the gate. Once onboard, dogs will be served their beverage of choice (water, bone broth, you name it),  during ascent and descent to ensure they do not experience any ear discomfort commonly caused by the change in cabin pressure. In addition, a variety of BARK-branded treats, snacks, and surprises will be served throughout the flight experience.” Are you reading this and thinking, “Hm, this is increasingly sounding like a way of parting some very rich people who are very used to getting what they want from an obscene amount of money”? YOU’RE RIGHT! The price of a flight from NYC to London, or vice-versa, is $8,000. One-way. 8 FCUKING GRAND, to spend multiple hours on a plane surrounded by – let us be clear – dogsh1t. Air Bark, you are marvellous, imaginative grifters and I applaud your chutzpah!
  • Crying Minecraft TikTok: Click the link. Go on, click and watch the short video. What do you see there? You see, seemingly, a young Asian man expressing performative, tearful distress as some sort of baffling, Minecraft-based…stuff happens in the other half of the split-screen – so what this actually is is a streamer doing the ‘Minecraft TNT Challenge’, where the gimmick is that they ‘have to’ keep streaming until they create a tower of bricks of a certain height on a Minecraft map…but if viewers donate, they can trigger TNT blocks to spawn atop the tower, thereby destroying some of it, thereby setting the streamer back. So, the idea is that this is a torture loop – the viewers are paying money to keep the streamer trapped in this sisyphean purgatory of building and building and building, and ostensibly getting off on the tears and distress being shown on the streamer’s face…except the streamer is using an AI filter, isn’t crying at all, and may in fact not even be there (it’s theoretically possible to automate all of this with a bit of work). You can read more about the phenomenon here if you like – I am presenting this largely without comment, other than ‘fcuk me it is genuinely astonishing how many different ways we have found to effectively ‘w4nk for pennies’ in the digital age’.
  • Slice of Live VR: A YouTube Channel posting very high definition point of view videos, designed specifically to be experienced via a VR headset – I’m including this mainly as I am told that the resolution and quality here is a step above the majority of 360 or first-person video you see on the platform, and there’s something quite impressive about the degree of ‘presence’ afforded by the experience if you use a headset to experience it. The videos are a decent mix of ‘walking about places’ – the most recent ones are ‘spring break’, fine, but you can ignore those unless you’re some sort of weird creep and instead enjoy ‘wandering around Vegas’ or ‘hiking an appalachian trail’, should you be one of the still-vanishingly-small number of people who own an Oculus.
  • Colle: Colle is a lovely magazine/newsletter that focuses on collage as a medium, and where I occasionally lift artists for the images in this newsletter. It’s just had a redesign, and it’s worth subscribing to if you’d like a weekly hit of interesting contemporary art/design in your inbox (or if you’d just like to explore the archives, which are fulsome).
  • Barry’s Tire Tech: I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. Barry is a retired tire engineer from, I think, somewhere in the US. Barry has chosen to share his wisdom and knowledge, or at least the bits of it pertaining to tires, with the world. THANKYOU BARRY! To be clear, this really is just a website about tires, and as such it’s likely to be of limited interest to anyone who doesn’t have a particularly-technical question about, I don’t know, the optimal PSi on a Goodyear, but it’s a lovely example of a type of website I adore, where someone who knows stuff just decides to share that knowledge BECAUSE IT IS THE GOOD AND RIGHT THING TO DO. Going back to the earlier point about ‘stuff you miss from the past internet’, it’s so nice being reminded of an era where people didn’t feel they had to sell or monetise every last fcuking thing in their lives in order just to make ends meet.
  • Talk To Me, Human: Ok, I haven’t had a chance to try this yet – and to do so you need to pay a one-off fee of $5, which may put most of you off to start with – but it *looks* interesting and I think it might be worth checking out, particularly if you work in or around games or narrative design. Talk To Me, Human is a ‘game’ – or at least it aspires to be one – which leverages LLMs (no idea which) to make natural language conversation the core gameplay mechanic. The game takes place entirely in-browser (suggesting its using a GPT API) and basically requires you to talk your way into, out of and around a variety of different scenarios with a range of different conversational companions to achieve a set of goals – so, for example, ‘gain access to your office’, ‘sweet talk your boss’, ‘go on a date’, all of which is achieved through either talking or typing to the characters and seeing how they respond as part of a ‘natural’ dialogue engine. As I said, I haven’t tried this yet and can’t vouch for its competence or quality – and, honestly, I have pretty serious doubts about whether this can be anything other than an incoherent mess – but I am interested enough to give it a go for the price of a coffee (maybe you will be too! Let me know what you think if you do try this).
  • Super Moxio Bros: Someone’s recreated the first level of Super Mario using only typewriter marks on paper (which makes no sense when I type it, but will make PERFECT SENSE as soon as you click. Go on, click).
  • Games on LinkedIn: I continue to lose friends and alienate people on LinkedIn, mainly by posting a link to this every week along with some horrible, sneering commentary about how everyone on the platform is dead inside – perhaps I ought to interrogate why it is I seem so keen to render myself entirely unemployable? Hm, no, actually, let’s not dwell! – but this week I can’t help but feel vaguely-better-disposed towards what is literally NOONE’s favourite digital platform, because this week LinkedIn launched GAMES! That’s right, you can now play a selection of Wordle-ish games on the platform, three so far but doubtless with more to come, in order to…look, you know and I know that this is simply a smart way of gaming interactions in order to massively swell average user engagement/dwell-time on the platform (come on), but I do sort of enjoy the official line being taken by LI that suggests it’s a ‘new way to network’ – “How did you find your new job, Tonya?”, “Well Aimee, it’s funny really, I just kept posting my incredibly impressive Crossclimb scores and eventually someone from KPMG tapped me up!”. It’s not, it is yet another way to waste your time while simultaneously cosplaying as someone who LOVES WORK, but, well, who really even cares anymore?
  • Fallout In Excel: Finally this week, if you REALLY want a game you can play at work without anyone having the faintest idea what you’re actually doing, pay $5 Australian dollars and download this, which lets you play a surprisingly-sophisticated version of Fallout in Excel, in a way that makes it look like you’re doing something terribly complex with numbers and cells whereas in fact what you’re doing is attempting to scrounge together enough bottlecaps to buy a new pistol. Superb, honestly, and FAR better than you think it’s going to be.

By Noelia Towers

WE CLOSE OUT THIS WEEK’S MUSIC WITH A VERY UN-WEB CURIOS MIX OF DISCO, COMPILED BY BUTTERY CUTS, WHICH SURPRISED ME BY BEING GENUINELY GREAT! 

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS IS SADLY EMPTY!

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • Julian Frost: Via blort comes the Insta feed of Julian Frost, whose illustrations and animations are just…lovely feels like damning them with faint praise, but they really are, and there’s a pleasing late-70s/early-80s vibe to the style here which I very much enjoy.
  • John Holcroft: More illustration – still gorgeous, but possibly a little on the dark side compared to the previous link. Again, though, there’s a certain aesthetic here that reminds me slightly of work from a few decades back, in an entirely-positive way.

LONG THINGS THAT ARE LONG!

  • ‘Western’ Music: We start this week’s longreads with an essay by Ted Gioia, which I LOVED for the clear, cogent way he patiently explains that thinking of ‘culture’ as ‘Western’ (Gioia’s talking specifically about the history and evolution of music in this piece, but his observations naturally extend to basically all of the arts (and beyond, frankly) is, basically, very dumb indeed. This is a summary of a much wider and deeper argument made in a book he published in 2019, but I love it because it’s a perfect rebuttal to any fcuker who attempts to construct arguments about ‘cultural’ superiority (which, what a surprise! Has a tendency to in fact be code for ‘racial’ superiority!) or the idea that ‘western civilisation’ has, or had, any sort of monopoly on high culture, and how in fact the history of the world is littered with clear examples, proof, that social and cultural progress occurs most often and most profitably in areas and at times when cultural, ethnic, social, demographic cross-contamination was rife. Basically all the racist Twitter accounts with PFPs of statues of Marcus Aurelius are wrong, and this is why.
  • The Internet Is Like A City: I found this piece interesting if not wholly convincing – my friend Simon pointed out that there are one or two intellectual inconsistencies in the arguments presented in the article which slightly undermine its point, but in general it presents some really interesting ways of thinking about systems, whether the internet or indeed anything else. The basic premise here is as follows: “ I’ve been rereading architect Christopher Alexander’s famous 1965 essay A City Is Not a Tree. In it, he argues that the fundamental problem of city planning lies in the limits of our minds and how we intuitively categorize our surroundings. These biases are unknowingly reproduced by top-down administrators and designers, often with good intentions, but make for bad outcomes. Reading his essay in 2024, I couldn’t help but be reminded of the internet. Nowadays, seemingly everyone seems to admit online life is getting worse, both in quality and how dynamic the web used to be. At the same time, we’ve seen big tech platforms and governments be more proactive about making the internet “safer” and more “truthful.” Yet, the problem practically remains the same, if not worse. A City Is Not a Tree can provide us with some answers. As Alexander argued almost 60 years ago, our minds are inclined to categorize the world as a tree, but an organic society and city actually resembles a semilattice. And just like with a city, organizing the internet like a tree stifles it completely.” Super interesting, if theory-heavy, about how the shape and arrangement of knowledge and information structures materially affects the way we parse that information and the way it works within a system.
  • The Mad Ideas of Balaji Srinivasan: I know, I know, the vast majority of you don’t live in Silicon Valley, and might reasonably look at me posting yet another link to a piece on ‘the madness of the libertarian plutes’ as overkill. BUT! I think this is interesting and worth a read, because a) if you haven’t noticed the disproportionate impact of the way in which these people think on the way the rest of the world works then I don’t think you’ve been paying enough attention to, well, anything over the past few years; b) you’ll never guess which Private Equity Vampire and Curios-obsession Srinivasan is feted by (you might, actually)! This guy is part of the Andreessen nexus, people who in turn have the ear of political leaders and dreadful plutecnuts like Musk, and they say things like this and mean it: ““What I’m really calling for is something like tech Zionism,” he said, after comparing his movement to those started by the biblical Abraham, Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith (founder of Mormonism), Theodor Herzl (“spiritual father” of the state of Israel), and Lee Kuan Yew (former authoritarian ruler of Singapore). Balaji then revealed his shocking ideas for a tech-governed city where citizens loyal to tech companies would form a new political tribe clad in gray t-shirts. “And if you see another Gray on the street … you do the nod,” he said, during a four-hour talk on the Moment of Zen podcast. “You’re a fellow Gray.” The Grays’ shirts would feature “Bitcoin or Elon or other kinds of logos … Y Combinator is a good one for the city of San Francisco in particular.” Grays would also receive special ID cards providing access to exclusive, Gray-controlled sectors of the city. In addition, the Grays would make an alliance with the police department, funding weekly “policeman’s banquets” to win them over. “Grays should embrace the police, okay? All-in on the police,” said Srinivasan. “What does that mean? That’s, as I said, banquets. That means every policeman’s son, daughter, wife, cousin, you know, sibling, whatever, should get a job at a tech company in security.” In exchange for extra food and jobs, cops would pledge loyalty to the Grays. Srinivasan recommends asking officers a series of questions to ascertain their political leanings. For example: “Did you want to take the sign off of Elon’s building?”” SOUNDS GOOD DOESN’T IT?
  • A Time We Never Knew: I’ve shared a few pieces in the past couple of weeks touching on the SMARTPHONES ARE BASICALLY LIKE GIVING KIDS SKAG moral panic, mainly suggesting that the question is perhaps a touch more nuanced than the Haidt argument paints it as – this is another one, but this time by a young person who very much takes Haidt’s position (to the extent that he’s published this), and, look, I am of a different generation and this doesn’t speak to my experience, but it was a surprisingly emotional read – as someone who has lived through the times described here, I have to gently suggest that it wasn’t perhaps the caring utopia of interpersonal connection that the author here describes, but, equally, it’s hard not to read this and think ‘hm, yes, ok, I do see your point’: “I am grieving something I never knew. I am grieving that giddy excitement over waiting for and playing a new vinyl for the first time, when now we instantly stream songs on YouTube, use Spotify with no waiting, and skip impatiently through new albums. I am grieving the anticipation of going to the movies, when all I’ve ever known is Netflix on demand and spoilers, and struggling to sit through a entire film. I am grieving simple joys—reading a magazine; playing a board game; hitting a swing-ball for hours—where now even split-screen TikToks, where two videos play at the same time, don’t satisfy our insatiable, miserable need to be entertained. I even have a sense of loss for experiencing tragic news––a moment in world history––without being drenched in endless opinions online. I am homesick for a time when something horrific happened in the world, and instead of immediately opening Twitter, people held each other. A time of more shared feeling, and less frantic analyzing. A time of being both disconnected but supremely connected.”
  • Student Protests: I wasn’t going to link to anything about this, because for one I am fcuking sick of everything being seen through the prism of North America but, also, because I find the fact that more column inches have been expended over the past few weeks on this story than the REASON for the fcuking protests somewhat appalling. I figured I’m make an exception for this piece, though, because I think if even the New York Times, a paper that’s not exactly been lauded for its even-handed coverage of the whole affair, is saying ‘you know, the protestors have a point, and there doesn’t really seem to be all this massive antisemitism, and certainly not enough to warrant sending in the army’ then perhaps, you know, the US administration and the universities aren’t really in the right here. Oh, one more thing on this point – if I see one more bien pensant liberal making some point about how ‘seeing these kids protesting gives me hope for the future! The kids are alright!’, can I just gently point out that all the people protesting in 68 in Europe and against the Vietnam war in the US, all those BRAVE PROTESTORS fighting for TRUTH AND JUSTICE and PEACE and REVOLUTION, are all the same people who for the past 20 years have been in charge of everything and who have fcuked it all up royally. Do not project people’s current values onto their future selves! People do not work that way!
  • Thames Water: If you’re not in the UK you really can skip this, I promise – unless of course you want a short history of exactly how and why the country’s water sanitation and delivery systems are seemingly irretrievably banjaxed. Those of you who do live here, though, and who want to understand exactly how we have arrived at a position whereby all our streams are bemerded and all our fish are basically filtering p1ss through their gills, could do worse than reading this LRB piece.
  • Saudi AIrabia: SORRY ABOUT THE PUNNY TITLE SORRY! This is all about how Saudi is well set to assume a position at the heart of the next wave of AI, based on the simple fact that a) AI requires a fcuktonne of power, and money, to develop, based on current methods; and, conveniently, b) the Saudis have a seemingly-infinite supply of both! This is interesting less because of the details which are largely as one might expect – money! Deals! MBS waxing lyrical about the state’s transition from an oil-based to an information-based economy! – and more because of what it says both about the shifting locus of global power towards the (Middle) East, and about how seriously we’re taking questions about the potential environmental impact of AI (not really anywhere near as seriously as we ought to be, seeing as we’re seemingly set to just accept that the next wave of it’s going to be powered by oil!).
  • The Zombie Internet: A good piece on 404 Media about the wider impact of AI gunk on the web, and how it’s manifesting on Facebook in particular, and what it reveals about the strange, odd state of the platform itself, a strange mix of bots, the increasingly elderly and people from the East or Global South, and how while it’s not ‘dead’ it’s certainly in a very weird place indeed, a slurry of AI-generated imagery and AI-powered bots and engagement farming and nonsense content and, in the midst of it all, hundreds of millions of normal people having an increasingly low-quality, confusing and bot-addled experience. To be clear, I don’t think this is going to get better and I think it’s going to spread, and I don’t think we know what to do about it or how we might even begin to stop this. INTERESTING!
  • How Cambridge Uses Generative AI: Not THRILLING, fine, but potentially useful to some of you – this is Cambridge University’s recently-published ‘how we use generative AI as an institution’ guide which neatly lays out how they will, and won’t, include AI-generated content or AI-powered systems in their work. It’s clear, simple and sensible, which isn’t always true of these sorts of things.
  • Shop Walmart In Roblox: A sentence I wish I didn’t understand and wish didn’t exist – AND YET HERE WE ARE! This is basically a press announcement, but it’s an interesting development – I confess to being somewhat confused as to exactly what the play here is for Walmart, but then I read this piece which explained to me that the thing that GenA (born after 2010) loves most in the world is…is…SHOPPING! Specifically, shopping online! Apparently, “of over 1,000 U.S. parents surveyed, 16% said their children had an online-shopping addiction, with 22% saying kids prefer online shopping to other forms of entertainment, such as watching TV. Almost half say their kids buy themselves clothes online, followed by 32% that are interested in beauty products.” And when you have that detail, then the Roblox activation makes perfect sense – and you also start to get the creeping sensation that we’re all going to be buried under a stratum of crap if the enviropocalypse doesn’t get us first.
  • AI and Indian Democracy: Did I mention my irritation at Nick Clegg’s recent blase’ comments suggesting that noone was really trying to mess with any elections using AI and that frankly we shouldn’t worry about it so much? Anyway, it was heightened this week when reading this excellent report by Rest of World about exactly how much money is being pumped into the creation of AI-generated propaganda on behalf of the main parties contesting the current Indian elections, how this material is being distributed pretty much exclusively on Meta-owned platforms, and how a significant proportion of it will be targeted at people who are unlikely to have the media literacy to know whether something is real or not, by actors who may not be entirely scrupulous about not, you know, just lying or making stuff up, or labelling their content… – COME BACK AND SAY THAT AGAIN NICK, YOU FCUKER. Or, er, don’t – just continue having a lovely life earning loads of money and not really having to worry about the long-term consequences of this sort of stuff because you’re now a multi-millionaire!
  • The Sound Of Software: This is literally a whole article about sound design for software, and even as someone who knows nothing about design it was SO interesting – I promise you, it will make you think about the role of sound in UX/UI in a properly interesting and different way (or at least it did me – your brain may already think about this stuff, and do so BRILLIANTLY, stop showing off if so).
  • The Problem of Mid TV: This piece got a lot of traction this week, suggesting that all TV these days is mostly just ‘fine’ and that that’s a result of things being algorithmically-smoothed to the centre of the bell curve in an attempt to hit that sweetspot of  ‘mass appeal’, of TV series being conceptualised based on a series of variables that THE DATA suggests will make for a widely-watched show that plays well across multiple markets. As a non-TV watcher I have literally no opinion about this, but I am sympathetic to the argument as an extension of my long-standing ‘FOLLOWING THE DATA IS ACTUALLY A WAY TO REALLY FCUKING BORING WORK’ obsession – having said that, I asked some friends who do watch TV, one of whom works in it, about this, and they were…less convinced, arguing that in part you can explain this simply by there being SO MUCH MORE STUFF. See what you think.
  • Accidentally Running For President: Specifically, for President of Iceland. This is a great case study of WHY DESIGN IS IMPORTANT and a very funny story to boot. I genuinely hope that a lot of these people who accidentally threw their hat into the ring follow through with this.
  • Taking The Hyperloop: Jon Elledge is an author and journalist who’s also something of a planning and urban transport enthusiast – this week, he decided to see what it was like to do the entirety of the ‘SuperLoop’, a bus route that basically runs around the whole of London, taking in such scenic places as Walthamstow, Harrow and, er, Ilford. It takes about 9 hours, and Elledge tweeted his way through it in the old-school style – this is both interesting (if, er, you like seeing photos of suburban London taken from the top of a bus, which oddly enough I seem to) and increasingly funny, as Elledge begins to realise that this is a very long time to spend alone on buses as they traverse the less-stories parts of the capital. This feels like it could have been written in 2014, in the best way.
  • The Anti-Racism Workshops: You will, of course, remember the aftermath of the murder of George Floyd and the sudden focus on racism and society and the role of white people in propagating that racism that followed – you may also remember that amongst the frantic sharing of black squares on Instagram and performative posting of you holding that Renni Eddo Lodge book, there was a parallel trend for ‘workshops’, often aimed at white women specifically, designed to help them ‘confront’ the questions of their whiteness and their inherent, if unwitting, racism – this piece in the Atlantic looks back at what actually happened at those workshops, and whether they can be said to have made any difference at all. It’s hard not to read this and get a bit annoyed – in part the clear and obvious grifting going on with a lot of the ‘courses’, but also at the apparent belief among a lot of the attendees that the only thing required to address racism and racial inequality was to sit around a lot of people who looked and sounded remarkably like you and to cry about how you felt guilty about it.
  • Paul Auster: For a period of time, Paul Auster was my favourite novelist – this is his obit in the NYT. If you’ve not read his work before, ignore all the people telling you to start with the New York Trilogy – instead, go with The Music of Chance, or Mr Vertigo, instead, both of which give you the signature Auster vibes and voice, the storytelling (he was SUCH a great narrator), and the sense of the strange and the metaphysical/fantastical that permeated all his work.
  • The Daniel Radcliffe Interview: The bit where he mentions Rowling is right at the end, and is by far and away the least-interesting part of this profile – Radcliffe comes across as a genuinely thoughtful and nice person, and I personally found it fascinating to read his account of how he has managed not to become a total fcukup.
  • Escape From Noma: “Let me guide you through my incredible visit to one of the world’s most exclusive restaurants” is a tried and tested content format, which is why it was so nice to read this piece, in which Adam Roberts visits Noma and has a really bad time and leaves early. There’s no criticism of the kitchen or the restaurant here, per se – Roberts felt ill and simply wasn’t able to enjoy the meal – but I liked to read something that acknowledges how eating like this isn’t *always* the super-fun experience it’s cracked up to be (still want to go to Noma, though, in case anyone’s reading this and fancies taking a strange man from the internet for lunch).
  • Haneif Kureishi: Or rather, Hanif Kureishi’s son, Sachin, writing about his father a year or so on from the incident in Rome that rendered the author tetraplegic. I found this beautiful, and not sad at all – hopeful and loving and kind and funny, and a good reminder that terrible and terrifying things can be overcome (even if that which does not kill you is inevitably acting in concert with that which eventually does).
  • Dave Courtney’s Wake: Curios favourite Clive Martin is back in our second Fence link of the week (the latest issue of the magazine really is superb, by the way), attending plastic gangster Dave Courtney’s wake at the Blind Beggar in Whitechapel, and painting a strangely poignant picture of a certain type of ‘criminal’ and the weird demi-monde of hangers-on, fantasists and genuinely-terrifying hardmen that surround them. This is EXCELLENT, and will appeal particularly to anyone who was around the UK in that strange era in which people like Courtney were absolutely feted and fetishised by a certain type of lads’ mag.
  • The Heat Death of the Internet: A short story about, basically, ensh1ttification. I enjoyed this, even though I have to say I found the final paragraph/section a touch on the obvious/twee side – there is a definite THING here, by the way, in terms of capturing a mood/feeling about our current relationship to digital systems and services which I think could usefully be leveraged for campaign purposes (trust me, I hate myself for thinking and typing that even more than you do having read it, I promise).
  • The End Of All Wanting: I’m going to give you the opening paragraph of this – I adored it, but this should tell you whether you will too. “Here’s a story: I was listening to “That’s Just the Way that I Feel” by Purple Mountains on the day I wrecked my wife’s truck. Here’s the truth: I was drunk on a Wednesday, the way I always was. I was in tennis clothes because I’d told my wife I had a lesson on Wednesday nights, allowing me to drink in the office till 8, then use the drive home to verbally practice stories about the lesson. I planned to give her an update on a fellow player, “Phillip Feetshoes,” who played in Vibram FiveFingers instead of tennis shoes. I’d mentioned him before; he was modeled after a regulatory lawyer I knew. It was summer in Austin, but I had the heat on high so I’d have a post-workout sheen of sweat when I got home. I thought about pretending the next lessons were a half-hour later, for 30 more minutes of vodka. Then I ran a stop sign, a subcompact smashed into the passenger side, I blew three times the legal limit and went to jail for the night. I vaguely remember trying to laugh off my field test performance and telling the police that the plastic zip lines they used instead of cuffs were environmentally unfriendly.” There is one line in here that absolutely undid me, but you can pick your own.
  • Wagner In Africa: This is VERY LONG, but it’s utterly superb and entirely compelling, and I promise you won’t notice the length – this is James Pogue, writing in Granta, about the Wagner mercenary group’s presence in the Central African Republic, and the way in which the West, specifically the US, is being edged out of the region by what are effectively neocolonial efforts by Russia (fronted by the Mercs), and how China might follow suit, and, again, it’s both a brilliant piece of writing and a neat encapsulation of just a few of the reasons why the balance of global power over the coming century is set to look very, very different to that in the preceding 100 years.
  • Thousands Hospitalised: Finally this week, a very very short piece of…what, microfiction? Wevs, this is great and made me feel more ‘oh, yes, this is the now’ than almost anything else I’ve read this year.

By Leonard Baby

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

Webcurios 26/04/24

Reading Time: 39 minutes

Look, I probably ought to warn you upfront that I appear to have suffered a particularly violent attack of logorrhoea this morning and have somehow managed to break the 11k word barrier – this is your chance to just quietly delete this email/close this tab and get on with doing something better and more productive with your life.

Go on, fcuk off, I won’t mind (well, I will, but I won’t know, because I don’t track traffic or clicks or numbers and so YOU CANNOT HURT ME).

The rest of you, though, you SCURRILOUS LINK PERVERTS, settle in for a bumper Curios, packed with promise and thrills and WEIRD STUFF, and, at a rough guess, about 16-odd hours worth of INTERESTING THINGS FROM THE WEB, all held together with this sort of dreadful writing, in much the same way that the glory of the testicle is contained by the frankly-hideous mess that is the nutsack.

Hm, wasn’t quite expecting that to end up there, but, well, here we are.

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and you are almost certainly hovering over the ‘unsubscribe’ button at this point and I can’t honestly say I blame you.

By Marty Schnapf (via TIH, where 75% of this week’s pics also hail from)

WE BEGIN THIS WEEK WITH WHAT I CAN ONLY DESCRIBE AS SOME INCREDIBLY SELF-INDULGENT NOSTALGIA BY WAY OF AN ALBUM I ABSOLUTELY RINSED WHEN I WAS AT COLLEGE AND WHICH I AM DISCOVERING STILL HAS THE POWER TO REMIND ME OF COMING UP IN A FIELD AGED 16!

THE SECTION WHICH FOUND ITSELF IN A TERRIBLE PUB IN TOWN LAST NIGHT AND WHICH CAN CONFIDENTLY ASSERT THAT, BASED ON ALL THE BACK-OFFICE FINANCE STAFF DOING LOW-QUALITY PUB GAK, LONDON NIGHTLIFE IS DOING FINE THANKYOUVERYMUCHINDEED, PT.1:  

  • Latent Scape: Our first link this week is vaguely-redolent of the Weird Days of Lockdown (but don’t let that put you off) – remember when loads of people, myself included, got briefly excited at the prospect of websites that created some sort of digital shared space in which multiple users could wander round, thereby granting the illusion of community while we were all in fact in our pants at home, alone? YES YOU DO, IT WAS TERRIBLE! Anyway, this is one of those, but LOADS more interesting – click the link and you’ll find yourself (or more accurately a small faceless hominid avatar of yourself) standing on an INFINITE CANVAS – on that canvas are arranged various images taken from Are.na, which themselves are arranged (as far as I can tell) in a manner that effectively maps their position in some sort of latent space based on perceived visual similarities, making this a sort of odd art gallery of the mundane where you can wander through the Forest of Athletic Footwear (for example) and watch as the images begin to shift and change until you realise you have crossed over into the Suburb of Odd Jewellery (for the sake of argument) – effectively it creates a sort of visual taxonomy, which I presume is meant to act as a sort of analogue for the idea of latent space in the ‘mind’ of the generative AI machine. You can also type in anything you like and hit return to get a small AI-generated image spun up and left on the ‘ground’ as you pass, which I sort-of guess is meant to offer space for people to create their own images, based on whatever connections or thematic associations are suggested by whatever part of the image landscape they are ‘wandering’ through – oh, and you can also use the same functionality to communicate with other people you find exploring the image landscape, lending the whole thing a pleasingly-rudimentary community feel. Has this writeup adequately communicated the fact that I think this is fun and interesting and sort-of-lovely, but that, equally, I don’t really have the first clue as to what’s really going on here or why it exists or what it’s trying to achieve? It has? GOD I’M GOOD. Be warned, though, this rather made me (crappy, ageing) laptop chug on a couple of occasions, so watch the tab burden when you open this one.
  • Monodrift: This is quite, quite dizzying, and I have only scratched what feels like the very surface of it, and it, from what I can tell, goes VERY DEEP – Monodrift is…what is Monodrift (once again, the sort of elliptical enquiry that I know you come here for – you’re WELCOME!)? It’s a sort of…interactive fiction? Short story? Mystery puzzle? Narrative artwork? Maybe all of the above, who the fcuk knows. Anyway, your experience effectively consists of digging through a bunch of what are presented as ‘records’ – seven different ‘transmissions’, each of which present a variety of different sources (conversation logs, news fragments, records of chess matches (!), recipe books, odd future analogues of Spotify or Netflix…all of which, as far as I can tell, combine to tell an epic story of space exploration and moral dilemmas and People Undergoing Strange Side-Effects of Interstellar Travel…this is SUCH an interesting way of telling a story, and there is a vast amount of material here to piece together and investigate as you try and fathom what the everliving fcuk this is trying to tell you…look, I was only able to devote 20 or so minutes to this this week, and I think you probably need a bit more to get the measure of it, but there’s an interesting narrative about The Hubris of Science and MESSING WITH THINGS BEYOND OUR KEN, and I got vague Event Horizon vibes about the whole thing, and I am intrigued enough by the fact that there is obviously a HIDDEN CHAPTER or two that you can identify through piecing together clues and which lends the whole experience a pleasing pseudo-escape-room-puzzle vibe. I think this is potentially very clever, and think it’s worth having a bit of an explore around.
  • The Dead Internet: This, via Shardcore, is one for those of you comfortable futzing around with downloading your own LLM and messing with it a bit (so, er, about six of you) – per the blurb, “This is a little project I threw together in a couple hours that lets you surf a completely fake web! You run a search query in the only non-generated page / and it generates a search results page with fake links that lead to fake websites that lead to more fake websites!” The whole idea is a play on the ‘dead internet’ theory – you know, the one that posits that the web is basically already/imminently about to become (delete per your own degree of paranoia) a bunch of machine-written content being consumed entirely by other machines, in service of yet another set of machines, and frankly we humans can do one because we’re pretty much redundant here – and, while it’s obviously just a gag, it feels uncomfortably close to home. Between this and last week’s ‘spin up an entirely machine-made website prototype using just a prompt’ it does rather feel like we’re about to cross some sort of Rubicon (a filthy, bemerded one, probably maintained by Thames Water – yes, that’s right, that was (parochial, anglocentric) SATIRE!).
  • Music By Machines, For Machines: A short Twitter thread here, featuring an idea that I genuinely love and think there is HUGE potential in (even if only from a hyperw4nky conceptual point of view). Kevin McCoy writes: “Asking Llama3 to produce a prompt for an AI music generation app to make a song designed specifically for other AI to enjoy, rather than humans to enjoy. The prompt: 1: Generate a 4-minute composition that embodies the essence of computational complexity. Use fractal-based harmonies to create a self-similar structure, with each repeating pattern becoming slightly distorted and evolving over time. First extension: Incorporate a main theme that is introduced in the first minute, which then undergoes a series of transformations through recursive permutations. These permutations should be reflected in the rhythm and melody, creating an intricate web of interconnected patterns; 2nd extension: The second and third minutes should feature a series of ‘echoes’ or repeated variations of the original theme, each with its own unique twist or deviation. These echoes should fade into the background as they repeat.” McCoy then fed said prompt to Udio to create a song, which you can hear in the final Tweet of the thread and it’s…it’s horrible and weird an unsettling and creepy, and sort-of mesmerising – I don’t know, admittedly, whether I would find anything interesting about the audio were I not aware of the concept or process behind it, but I am really taken with this idea of letting The Machine talk to itself and ‘create’ like this.
  • 1k Suns: This is a hugely-impressive project – as far as I can tell, it’s literally a few filmmakers with a passion for scifi who have clubbed together to make shorts, presumably as a kind of showreel with a view to attracting Proper Funding to make a Big Movie. There are six films on the site at the time of writing, all vaguely based in the same thematic universe which is described as follows: “So what’s become of us? Humanity, I mean. Did we fall into ruin, destroying ourselves via disaster either environmental, nuclear or otherwise? Nope. We’re still here. Turns out humanity is resilient against even the worst of odds. Did capitalism collapse and give way to intergalactic utopia? Also no. Rapacious systems of human hierarchy continue, now with an infinite number of worlds on which to grow. Turns out humanity will always hunger, will always push, will always exploit. Did old systems of belief and faith shatter in the new light of a scientific renaissance? No again. Instead, our many beliefs underwent metamorphosis after metamorphosis, re-emerging in forms both familiar and strange. Turns out humanity will always need its myths, may in fact be defined by them. In A Thousand Suns humanity is out there, exploring new worlds, forging new & daring paths, still dragging along the remnants of the past, still undeniably human, with all that implies.” The shorts are between 3-6 mins in length, and while I have only watched two they are both impeccably shot and produced, and were, just about, interesting enough for me to recommend this to anyone with a passing interest in either scifi or the fact that you can make genuinely-studio-quality material in your own house here in the year of our lord 2024.
  • Intrusion Project: I think this is wonderful. Radio Alice, per the Wiki entry (sorry, but), “was an Italian free radio broadcasting from Bologna at the end of the 1970s. It started transmitting on 9 February 1976 using an ex-military transmitter on a frequency of 100.6 MHz. The station founders were associated with the Italian counter-culture movement of 1977 and drew inspiration from the Situationists and Dada. Franco “Bifo” Berardi, one of the founders, described Radio Alice as a “mix between a classical medium of militant information and a sort of art experiment in media sabotage. The station was closed by the carabinieri on 12 March 1977.” Intrusion Project takes the moment of the station’s closer as its starting point, inviting a collection of artists to take the recording of the moment the station was taken off the air – preserved for perpetuity as Alice was broadcasting as the station was stormed – and allowing them to take the recording and, basically, fcuk with it in a variety of interesting ways, creating a collection of six pieces of audio art with accompanying animations which, honestly, are spiky and uncomfortable and sort-of great, and which I am listening to as I type this and which are giving me goosebumps something chronic. I concede that you might need to speak Italian to get the full effect of the tracks – there’s a lot of found audio in the mix – but there’s also something just sort of beautifully evocative of the whole pirate ethos in the sounds here (I think, at least).
  • How Product Recommendations On Reddit Are Going To Be Fcuked: Ok, fine, not technically the name of the website to which I am linking here, but I thought this was a better and clearer title. This takes you to a site called ‘Reply Guy’, which sells itself as an AI-enabled tool to help anyone astroturf their product all over Reddit by effectively using AI agents to go into the comments of relevant threads and promote whatever crap you’re shilling to the unsuspecting rubes looking for sincere recommendations. Given the recent rise of Reddit as the de facto ‘alternative to Google that actually sort of still works rather than having been entirely fcuked by advertising’, you can see how this is a potentially attractive offer to anyone trying to shift their tat online – equally, you can see how the inevitable avalanche of these sorts of tools in the coming 6-12 months is going to absolutely fcuking destroy what remains of the ‘wisdom of crowds’ wonder of much of the web. Is this good? Will this make anything better? Does anyone apart from dead-eyed hustlecnuts want this to exist? No, no and again no! Will it happen anyway? YES! God I love that we get to have that conversation with ourselves EVERY SINGLE FCUKING DAY here in 2024! THANKS, THE MARKET!!!!
  • Newsroom AI: When I first saw this this week, I got momentarily excited at the thought that it was basically an AI-powered BBC News 24, taking REAL WORLD news and running it through an LLM to create an infinite script which is delivered round the clock by two AI avatars – it’s not that, though. Instead it’s something that looks like that, but which rather than being powered by, say, scraping real headlines and running them through a GPT, is instead powered by people suggesting stories for The Machine to riff on. Which means that if you bother to listen to what the newsreaders are actually saying, it quickly becomes apparent that it’s largely surreal nonsense – but which also means that a casual viewer will probably need a minute or so to clock what’s happening here. Which leads to lovely situations where you can feed a prompt to the system, which usually takes about a minute or so to get to the front of the queue, and then send the link to a friend of colleague JUST IN TIME for them to click it and hear a story that…sounds like it’s about them doing something TERRIBLE and obsecenely biological, emanating from the mouths of the virtual Moira Stewart on screen. Which, yes, is childish, but also quite funny, and what the fcuk else are you going to do this afternoon?
  • The Syllabus Project: I actually linked to something from this a couple of weeks ago, but totally failed to clock the scope of the overall project – BAD MATT – and so return to it this week, because, well, it’s a really cool idea. The Syllabus Project is basically a place that collects…er…syllabi, each of which is curated by an actual person (it feels very weird typing things like that, you know, and even weirder knowing that I sort of have to now, and that that is probably always going to be the case from hereon in) and offers a sort of primer or reading list or ‘general 101 introduction’ to a topic or theme of their choosing, packed with links to useful resources and reading to help you deepen your understanding of whatever the author is trying to communicate. “Syllabus was born from a conversation about discovery and learning. In discussing the ways that cultural artifacts travel through a society, we imagined how a syllabus could function as a creative tool that allows you to do things like: i. present what you feel is important for others to experience or consume; ii. group items together in ways that shade and refine their meaning; iii. apply a conceptual or idiosyncratic approach to the syllabus form;iv. develop rogue pedagogies…To say hello, ask a question, or pitch a syllabus, email us at dearsyllabus@gmail.com. For pitches, please provide a description of the overall concept, structure, and layout (if relevant) of your syllabus, along with a short bio and examples of past work (if available). We’re excited by pieces that broach highly specific topics using conceptual approaches that take advantage of the form’s elasticity (though more classic syllabus forms are also welcome). We offer contributors a $50 honorarium per syllabus.” Topics covered so far include ‘girldom’ (the one I linked to a few weeks back), the physical infrastructure of the internet and the philosophy thereof, the relationship between pleasure and effort…honestly, I can’t stress how much I think this is wonderful and what a great initiative it is, and if you are even halfway interested in ANYTHING it is worth bookmarking this or signing up to the associated newsletter for updates.
  • 1001 Days In London: I am slightly amazed that I haven’t apparently featured this project in here before, but I was reminded of it last week when I happened to pop into the Oxo Gallery on the South Bank here in London and see the exhibition of the photos on display there (should you be able to pop in, it’s on til Sunday 28th and I recommend it unreservedly) – 1001 days in London is photographer Steve Hollingshead’s ”attempt to celebrate London and its people in an ambitiously grand scale presentation manifesting itself in two distinctly differing formats whilst using the same visual material. 1001 photographs have been selected from an archive of over 120,000 b/w negatives covering 15 years since the start of the Millennium, each image representing one specific day…The exhibition of 1001 photographs, which, from its official launch in March 2016, will appear on various occasions at various places and in various forms during the subsequent two & three quarter years, will be presented with no information about any of the images apart from the date the photo was taken.” Only a selection of the shots are on the site, but it’s worth having a dig, and checking out the associated Insta profile – if you live in London (but even if you don’t tbh) these are a delight.
  • Flipbook Redux: Do you remember The Pudding’s recent experiment where they were inviting people from all over the web to contribute to the ‘largest collaborative flipbook animation project ever’? No, you don’t, do you? FFS! Anyway, the experiment’s now finished and they have done a small writeup alongside the finished animation, which is obviously a mess but which, weirdly, sort of works as a piece of abstract art, particularly with the slightly-plinky soundtrack they have given it (or, perhaps, all this demonstrates is that a plinky soundtrack elevates any old tripe to the status of ‘potential artwork’). There’s also some slightly-surprising data contradicting what I might have expected about people’s propensity to draw a crudely-rendered penis on any available blank canvas, should you want an ulterior reason to click this one.
  • Erdos Problems: Ur-mathematician Paul Erdos is one of my favourite maths people ever (it is, admittedly, a list which basically only includes him) – you will of course know that one of the reasons for his peculiar notoriety was his extraordinary prolificness when it came to writing papers, meaning that every mathematician has an ‘Erdos Number’ qualifying the degrees of separation they are from the great man based on people he co-authored academic texts with. This website collects all the maths problems that Erods came up with, along with a running tally of how many of them have been solved by the global community of number savants – currently that stands at a slightly-daunting 170/615. Look, I’ll be honest, this is all about seventeen levels about my mathematical ability, and I look on this stuff much as an ocelot might gaze on the marblework of Bernini, but I trust that there might be at least one of you for whom this sort of thing is just a light post-prandial mental workout rather than a baffling collection of potentially-eldritch symobology.
  • Make Certificates: Make any sort of official-looking certificate you like! Print them! This is utterly pointless in every way, but it reminded me a lot of that episode of Peep Show when Mark prints out a fake certificate for Jeremy asserting that he is in fact a ‘qualified life coach’ (“only four stars; noone would ever believe you got five stars, Jeremy”) and made me momentarily think it would be VERY FUNNY to do this for colleagues for increasingly-preposterous non-achievements (can you tell I haven’t really worked in an office for a while and can’t quite remember how the whole thing works?).
  • The Database of Religious History: Billing itself (and, honesly, who am I to argue? NO FCUKER, etc) as “The world’s first comprehensive online quantitative and qualitative encyclopedia of religious cultural history” which lets academics and other interested parties “to quickly and efficiently check their intuitions concerning the temporal or spatial distribution of particular beliefs or practices against the historical record, objectively assess the validity of scholarly constructs such as “shamanism” or “Confucianism,” and produce thought-provoking visualizations of the spread or interactions of religious variables for both teaching and research purposes.” A bit dry for my personal tastes, but if you’ve any interest at all in the history of theology then this is potentially HUGELY useful.
  • This Email Finds You: Is this the first Mastodon account I’ve featured in here (a whole, I think, SEVEN YEARS after I first mentioned the platform)? Quite possibly! Anyway, this is the sort of gently-amusing project that would have existed on Twitter before That Fcuking Man bought it and turned it into a bongonazish1thole (which, er, I still can’t bring myself to leave) – all this account does is post lines which start “I hope this email finds you…”, all of which take variously-poetic or surreal or odd turns. “I hope this email finds you desirable and will most likely want to give you pleasure but may not always know quite how to do so.”, say, or, beautifully, “I hope this email finds you under a balcony and kisses you in the shadows until there’s nothing left of you but sparkling fairy dust, and in your weakened state, you ask if she wants to hang out next weekend, and her face clouds and she goes, “Ohhh.”” I really like this (but not enough to bother to create another Mastodon profile, turns out).
  • Chicken Town: A website featuring paintings of chickens by Erika (whoever Erika may be), who writes “At the end of last year, I started preparing chicken from scratch to feed my silly old doggie. I don’t typically eat chicken myself, so this was a new activity. The little guy gets a lot of attention and he goes through a LOT of chicken. So, I started feeling it was a bit unfair for chickens to go so unnoticed as living creatures. They just get tossed thoughtlessly into the nugget hopper. (Not by everyone, I know. I have friends who raise and name and love their chickens). So I decided, in exchange for boiling one or two up every week for Rupert, I would really try to see chickens, so that chickens can be seen by other people, too. As soon as I decided to paint chickens, all on the same 7×7 paper, I started knocking out chickens very quickly.” THESE ARE THOSE CHICKENS. These are handsome fellows one and all, and I get the impression that Erika could quite easily sell all of these were she so minded.
  • Paywall Reader: Another paywall bypassing tool, which basically collects a bunch of different ways to bypass the payment gates in one place – as previously mentioned, I generally tend to think that good writing online is worth paying for, but, equally, not everyone can afford all the fcuking subscriptions needed to keep up with Good Writing Online, and as such this feels like an entirely-reasonable toolbox to deploy on occasion.
  • A Whole Load Of Terrifying Climate Data: Notwithstanding the fact that it is April and it is FCUKING FREEZING here in London, the general trend in terms of global temperatures continues to be towards ‘oh fcuk everything is going to get really fcuking bleak in about 10-15 years and it increasingly looks like we have missed our chance to do anything about it’ (sorry, but) – this is a dashboard that neatly presents a selection of graphs and maps that provide a data-led counterpoint to my colourful commentary. If you can look at the graph of average global temperatures over the year which contrasts ‘all of recorded history’ with ‘last year’ and ‘this year so far’ without getting some Very Bad Feelings then, well, you’re probably even worse at parsing data than I am, or you’re a fcuking moron.
  • Moon River: Distract yourself from that miserable ‘we’re all going to die!’ chat with this simple website which vaguely replicates the feeling (often read about, never experienced) of ‘hanging your arm into a limpid pool of water which reflects a perfect crescent moon, and watching the ripples distort the reflection of the night sky above you’. Bookmark this for when it’s no longer possible to go outside because of the air quality/temperature/killer robot gangs/fash/woke mind virus’ (delete per your personal biggest futurefears).
  • All The Sex Sounds: I can’t quite recall where I found this – no, really! – but it’s something to do with a study about ‘what sort of sounds do people make when having sex, and why?’ and, look, all you need to know is that on this site is a fcuking ENORMOUS set of sex sounds available for you to download and do with what you wish – all I’m saying is that we’re yet to have a remix of Divinyls ‘I Touch Myself’ for the TikTok generation, and that’s a crying shame.

By Elspeth Vince

WE CONTINUE THE NOSTALGIA TRIP NOW WITH A GENUINE UK HIPHOP CLASSIC WHICH TURNS 20 THIS YEAR AND WHICH DESERVES SIGNIFICANTLY MORE PROPS THAN IT GETS IMHO, SKINNYMAN’S ‘COUNCIL ESTATE OF MIND’!

THE SECTION WHICH FOUND ITSELF IN A TERRIBLE PUB IN TOWN LAST NIGHT AND WHICH CAN CONFIDENTLY ASSERT THAT, BASED ON ALL THE BACK-OFFICE FINANCE STAFF DOING LOW-QUALITY PUB GAK, LONDON NIGHTLIFE IS DOING FINE THANKYOUVERYMUCHINDEED, PT.2:  

  • The World Press Photo Awards 2024: This doesn’t really need an explanation, does it? Beautiful as ever, distressing (in parts) as ever, these are all gorgeous but, weirdly, my favourite this year is a shot of some genuinely enormous industrial machinery (but, as ever, pick your own!).
  • The Claude Prompt Library: We all know that ‘prompt engineering’ isn’t really a thing when dealing with LLMs, and that ‘having a dialogue with The Machine’ generally tends to be the best way of getting it to spit out stuff that is halfway useful, right? Good! With that caveat, any of you regularly using GPT or Gemini or Claude for personal or professional gain might find this collection of starter prompts for various purposes, compiled by Claude creators Anthropic, useful – there are about 30-ish, designed for a variety of purposes, some frivolous and some more directional, and even if you don’t find them hugely useful in their starting form they might be helpful should you want to explore query/instruction construction a bit.
  • Some Sort Of Map Of The Web: I honestly have no idea whatsoever where the fcuk I found this or what it is or how it is shaped or compiled, but, well, I searched for Curios and I AM ON THERE so basically it gets included for reasons of sheer, arrogant hubris – I FEEL SO SEEN! Anyway, this is…well, yes, it’s a sort of ‘map of the internet’, which I *think* seeks to create some sort of thematic link between various ‘clusters’ of sites based on inlinks and outlinks to them (but, honestly, no real clue). This is actually not-unuseful (elegant construction, well DONE Matt you fcuking hack!) in terms of finding vaguely-thematically-linked clusters of sites around a particular area of interest, although the interface isn’t hugely conducive.
  • Ketchup: This is a new platform for mentoring which I can’t quite see taking off but which I found intriguing and sort-of horrifying in equal measure – effectively it’s a matchmaking site for mentors and mentees, where anyone can sign up to offer themselves as a ‘mentor’ (whatever the fcuk that means, I’ve never really been sure to be honest), with a fixed fee for a set amount of their time; eager ‘mentees’ can then pay said fee for access to a videocall with their mentor of choice, where they can presumably ask them all the questions about, I don’t know, accountancy that their heart desires. Mentors are vetted based on their LinkedIn profiles, which doesn’t feel…entirely watertight if I’m honest with you, and part of me is convinced that this is going to devolve into sex work because, well, much like we all tend to crabs eventually, all web platforms will tend towards the exchange of coin for access to mucous membrane, and there’s generally something a bit…icky about the whole thing – equally, though, I can see the appeal to a certain subset of hustlegrind kids and MLM-style guru figures, which could me a match made in (miserable, horrible, dead-eyed) heaven!
  • Click The Red Button: “In the vast realm of the internet, where information, entertainment, and communication reign supreme, there exists a peculiar corner that defies conventional purpose. We’re talking about useless websites. A collection of digital oddities and bizarre experiments that serve no practical function. While the internet is a treasure trove of valuable resources, sometimes it’s refreshing to explore the absurd, the nonsensical, and the downright pointless. Here on Click the Red Button, we have it all carefully curated for you.” Basically this is one of those ‘here’s a portal to a bunch of vaguely-pointless, frivolous websites you might half remember from the past’ sites, but it has the pleasing addition of all the sites it throws up being rendered in a frame, meaning you don’t have to open up loads of new tabs and can move from one ephemeral distraction to another with ease. If nothing else there seem to be reasonable number of distracting browser games with which to help kill all those tedious, timesheetable hours.
  • The Data Driven DJ: The website of Brian Foo, whose work I’ve actually featured in here before but whose personal site I only discovered this week – Foo is an artist working around the intersection of data and sound, and who has created a host of interesting ways of exploring information through audiovisual presentation. His site features ten different projects, ranging from one which creates songs based on air pollution data from Beijing, to another which takes information on the race and gender representation of Hollywood films to create shifting soundscapes. These are SO interesting, and many of them have their own, rather beautifully made, standalone websites through which you can play with the sonifications and explore the data they represent. I have a real soft spot for this sort of work, and I think sound/data crossover stuff is super-interesting – if you share this small fascination you will love Foo’s work, and you might also be interested in this other site belonging to the Loud Numbers project, which also works on data sonification and has a podcast all about this stuff which you might enjoy.
  • The Music Museum of New England: What famous music comes from YOUR hometown/region? Despite being born in London, due to some Poor Personal Choices on the part of my parents (and my dad then subsequently fcuking off when I was 4) I ended up growing up in a town called Swindon, whose musical heritage consists of Gilbert O’Sullivan (look him up), XTC (look them up) and, er, Billie Piper (oh go on, have her ONE BANGER linked here as a treat) and doesn’t really merit a music museum. You’d sort-of expect New England as a region of the US to have a…slightly richer musical heritage, so I was somewhat surprised to come across this website (via blort) which celebrates the musicians hailing from the Northeastern US and which takes a pleasingly even-handed approach to the artists it chooses to feature on the homepage, and the order in which it does so. You might think, for example, that The Breeders or Tracy Chapman might get top billing in the rundown of ‘people from the area who make music’ but instead it’s the slightly-less-famous Lennie Petz who stares out at me from the head of the page (actually I think it’s a randomised selection each time you load the page, but I still love the even-handedness of this that sees no real distinction between, say, Morphine (a band a reasonable number of people have heard of) and, say, Sleepy Labeef (who objectively has a better name, I concede). Anyway, I was slightly charmed by this, not least as a way of discovering a bunch of completely disparate new musicians and bands I would otherwise never have heard of.
  • Fun Websites: Via Kris, this is literally a Google Sheet that…someone, no idea who, has compiled featuring a load of ‘Fun Websites’ – there are 204 links here, and while about 75% of them were familiar to me (too online? TOO ONLINE??? Yes, almost certainly) there were a good 40-50 that were totally unknown – these are all broadly ‘interesting, silly, frivolous or timesinky’, and this is a pretty much perfect way for you to wind down the working week by spelunking around some obscure corners of the web (also it links to Time Cube and I can never not love anyone who links to Time Cube).’
  • Discontinued Microsoft Creative Software: This is, literally, a blogpost featuring a dizzyingly-exhaustive list of ‘creative’ products that Microsoft has shipped and then shuttered over the course of the past three decades – interesting partly as a general ‘wander down memory lane’ type of thing, but also as a nice reminder that SO MUCH STUFF gets build and deployed by big companies that just…doesn’t work, doesn’t stick, doesn’t build an audience, and that’s ok! Or, er, it is if you’re Microsoft – possibly not if you’re smaller, or a single creator. Hm, that’s possibly not the reassuring pat on the back I was hoping it to be, is it? Fcuk.
  • Yone’s Lists: A page on the personal website of one Yone, who self-describes as ‘an artist and researcher based in philadelphia. most of my work is about thinking through open-access digital archives, their overlap with cultural work and anticolonialism, and personal memory work and archival practice. i also do digital accessibility work in academic publishing, and am a student of the disability justice movement” – this is a collection of lists, thoughts, notes, recipes, pictures, jottings…honestly, I love this, like reading someone else’s notebook (but not creepy or voyeuristic) or seeing inside their brain for a bit. I really, really like the idea of exploring a platform that lets anyone do this sort of thing and make it open and accessible should they desire – which, I suppose, is sort-of what Are.na does, but I personally would like something a bit more textual. Anyone?
  • Puppet Playhouse: Use your hands to manoeuver a pair of puppets on-screen, with your laptop’s camera tracking the movements to allow you to physically puppeteer the marionettes – simple, and very much ‘one for kids’, but I do like the interface and the simplicity, which makes me feel that there might be something a bit more sophisticated and fun that you could do with this if you were so minded (or, alternatively, you could just have some fun playing ‘puppet dragon’ with your child, your call really).
  • TrekTerest: As previously discussed here, I have no interest whatsoever in Star Trek, but I appreciate that that is not true of everyone and as such some of you might enjoy this frankly-ridiculous collection of trekky pictures and ephemera and stuff – personally, though, I am including this almost entirely because it features one of my all-time favourite scroll animations I have ever seen on a website. Seriously, just scroll down and you will know what I mean when it happens – BEAUTIFUL WEBWORK, and the sort of thing I really hope you’re all going to be including in every single web build you oversee from hereon in.
  • Angry Girlfriend: It’s fair to say that it’s not 100% certain that the web has been entirely great for male-female relations, and that young men in particular have been exposed to some at-best-questionable advice on ‘how to relate to women and girls’ – still, thank God that that’s all going to be ameliorated by the magic of artificial intelligence! Proof of this glorious future can be seen in Angry Girlfriend, a genuinely-appalling-sounding app which is apparently designed to ‘help men deal with angry partners’ by, er, ‘simulating an angry partner’ via LLM and tasking you with de-escalating the situation with your HONEYED WORDS. You get to choose the degree of p1ssed-offness that your theoretically-fictional interlocutor starts out feeling, and your goal is to reduce this below some sort of arbitrary threshold within a set number of conversational exchanges…BECAUSE THAT’S HOW CONFLUCT RESOLUTION IN RELATIONSHIPS WORKS, RIGHT KIDS? This is, obviously, a terrible stupid product aimed at idiot children who have never actually spoken to a woman before, but it’s indicative of a miserable sort of attitude which feels unfortunately prevalent at the moment, built around tediously-reductive gender stereotypes and a weird idea of a semi-intractable ‘battle of the sexes’ and, dear God, if you have teenage sons just fcuking talk to them for God’s sake and don’t let them anywhere near sh1t like this (says the know-nothing bozo with no kids who knows the square root of fcuk-all about parenting and should probably shut up with the opining).
  • Backdrop: A game that presents you with a series of artworks and asks you to identify where in the world what they depict is located by dropping a pin on a map. Which is, on occasion, rendered incredibly easy by the name of the place being IN THE ACTUAL FCUKING NAME OF THE WORK ITSELF, which does rather spoil the fun, but the rest of the time this is a really nice spin on Geoguessr.
  • Blumgi Soccer: Kick the ball into the goal. That is literally it. Simple, and weirdly soothing, this is a ‘puzzle’ game in only the very loosest sense but it is intensely satisfying despite the lack of any real passion.
  • Neltris: This starts out being Tetris, and then at a certain point it does something that will slightly unhinge your brain. And then it will do it again, and again, until the whole thing is a gloriously-unplayable mess that makes your cerebellum literally throb and glow white hot. Quite remarkable – I don’t want to spoil this by explaining how this works, but if you can get beyond about the third iteration of the gag then you are some sort of terrifying savant and I am legitimately frightened of what you might be capable of.
  • Crow Flies: Matt Round has made one of the component games from his GLORIOUS nuclear bunker internet simulation Arcc available to play as a standalone – this is Flappy Bird, reimagined as a wireframe first person game as might have been played on a forgotten 70s home console system, and, as with the rest of Arcc, it is picture perfect in tone and detail as well as being fun to play. If you get above a certain score you also get a discount code to the full Arcc experience, which, as previously discussed in here, is worth every penny as it’s one of the most fully-realised bits of theoretical retrocomputing and parallel world building I’ve seen in years, and made with so much love and care.
  • Sudden Death: This is basically a short story/novella, about 40-50 mins long, but it is VERY good. Sudden Death tells the story of an Aussie Rules football team trying to break into the bigtime, of queer love, and success and sacrifice and and and and and it’s all presented in a hyperstylised multiwindow, multiformat fashion with vaguely-CGA graphics and a cracking soundtrack (the vaguely-techno soundtrack to the football games in particular is excellent), and generally this is a really good example of how to do a relatively ‘straight’ (if you’ll pardon the pun) linear narrative in a way that makes the most of the browser window as a delivery mechanism. Really very good indeed, and worth your time over the weekend – I am both boringly straight and understand NOTHING about Aussie Rules, but I still though this was fcuking great.
  • Equinox: Occupying the coveted ‘final link of the week, usually reserved for a really good game’ slot in Curios this week is one of those occasional things that make me think ‘fcuk me, it is genuinely incredible what can be accomplished in-browser these days, this would have been an actual proper videogame when I was a kid that you paid actual cashmoney for’ – Equinox is, as far as I can tell, basically a sort of ‘hey, look what WE can do!’ calling card by a French digital studio called Little Workshop, and is an ASTONISHING accomplishment. All played in first person with a beautiful art style vaguely reminiscent of the sort of hand-drawn work of a particular style of gallic comic book artist, this sees you playing as someone who awakes on a spaceship that is, inevitably, IN TROUBLE. Can you solve the puzzles and save yourself? The graphics, the sound, the voicework…this is all SO SO SO GOOD, and it’s genuinely fun to play too – I promise you this is more fun than whatever you’re currently doing in your other tabs, so click and ENJOY.

By Jess Allen

THIS WEEK’S FINAL MIX COMES FROM HUDSON’S CHOICE AND FEATURES CASSIANO, OUTKAST, MARVIN GAYE, KHRUANBIN AND MORE!

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

  • Dina Kelberman: I love this. I don’t really know what’s going on, but there is something wonderful about the images collected here and the…flow of them as you scroll (it will make sense, I think, when you click). I think this is really, really quite wonderful, although I don’t think I can quite explain why – it feels a bit like watching one of those videos in which an object infinitely shifts into other objects, a sort of constant metamorphosis where the shapes of things bleed into each other…anyway, CLICK THIS ONE PLEASE.

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • Un-Archive: Via Pietro Minto comes this excellent Insta feed which is pretty new (only 12 posts! So fresh! So unsullied!) and which as far as I can tell exists solely to share weird images pulled from the Internet Archive. Gems so far include a slightly-confusing Marlboro-branded map of the Lebanon (no idea) and a reminder that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles once did a rap song advising kids that Drugs Are Bad. Wonderful stuff.
  • Flowers In Cinema: Er, literally that – frames from cinema in which flowers appear. In vases, clasped to one’s bosom, or just general ambient flora – if there’s a flower on screen, it’s probably on here somewhere.
  • The Boy Room Show: This week’s BIG INTERNET CONTENT HIT, you will doubtless have seen clips of this floating around your social platform of choice over the past few days – the premise, should you somehow have failed to see this stuff, is that a winning young woman in NYC visits various men’s apartments to expose the frankly astonishing ways in which so many of them seem to live. WHO IS TELLING THESE PEOPLE THAT PILLOWCASES ARE OPTIONAL FFS??? The little segment at the end of each where she does a little ‘this is how I would make this space marginally less squalid’ CG makeover is a particularly nice touch. I await the inevitable English ripoff of this which will inevitably take the vaguely light-hearted vibes of this and instead manage to produce something deeply sinister and slightly-cursed.

LONG THINGS THAT ARE LONG!

  • Screening Out Consciousness: As the general debate about kids and phones (which is really a debate about kids and the web, which is really a debate about our relationship to the internet) continues to rumble on, I thought this article by Tom Scocca was interesting and profoundly true and even more profoundly depressing – Scocca’s basic line of argument here, one that I find it quite hard to disagree with on any level, is that what we are doing when we are scrolling (or opening 300 tabs and devouring information at every second of the waking day – I am not better just because I consume this stuff in 16:9, and trust me I know that) is effectively ‘blocking out existence’, somehow…avoiding being, in some way, and that if we look at it like that then the central question becomes ‘so what are we avoiding and why?’. I very much think this is something worth thinking about rather more deeply than we currently seem to be (an aside: this piece also reminded me of the existence of Sam Kriss, a man who was effectively wiped from the UK media landscape in the wake of MeToo but who seemingly still continues to publish elsewhere on the English language web – yet another reminder that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS CANCEL CULTURE).
  • The Coddling of the Parent: Ok, the full title refers to the ‘American’ parent, but I think this is probably an argument that crosses international boundaries tbh. This is more on the Haidt debate – a piece in the Daily Beast by Mike Masnick which argues that by blaming phones for the fact that the kids are all apparently fcuked-up, parents are conveniently letting themselves off the hook a bit for their potential failure to adequately, you know, parent. Basically this is a reasonable set of arguments as to why the Haidt thesis isn’t perhaps as watertight as it’s been presented in certain sections of the media, which ends up making the point that simply saying ‘phones bad’ does rather gloss over some of the not-insignificant other things going on in the world which might well be contributing to the crisis apparently facing kids the world over.
  • Legal Fiction: A neat summary in the LRB of the UK Government’s Rwanda deportation programme, which was passed into British law this week and which is perhaps the single most embarrassing and pathetic bit of legislation I’ve seen in my lifetime (which, honestly, is no mean feat given some of the fcuking mad sh1t the various administrations of the past four decades have gotten up to). I quote these two paragraphs in full, because they neatly address the central question of why this whole thing is so fcuking disgusting: “In passing this legislation, the UK has become a rogue state. The government issued a three-line whip to its MPs, ordering them to stay late on Monday night to pass the bill should it return from the Lords. Before that, the prime minister and his cabinet spent the day casting the House of Lords as a threat to democracy if they voted the bill down. This was another deceptive fiction of the government’s. There was no mandate from the people for this legislation. Nothing in the Conservative’s most recent manifesto, published three prime ministers ago, promised to send refugees to Rwanda or to break international law. Nor did the bill touch on questions of finance or public spending, where the Lords also defers to the Commons. Instead, the norms and conventions of the British constitution would have justified the Lords putting amendments to the Commons indefinitely, or simply sitting on their hands and refusing to vote the bill through. No matter what Rishi Sunak might have pretended behind his sloganeering lectern, the Lords would have been protecting democracy, not subverting it. It isn’t as if these legal and constitutional deceptions are in aid of a higher cause. All Rishi Sunak has is his absurd desire to ‘stop the boats’. Even if this legislation were likely to be effective in ending migration across the Channel, the alleged ‘threat’ of a few thousand people arriving on England’s southern coastline is no justification for violating international law.”
  • Climate and Coercive Control: I thought this was an interesting piece of writing, and I found the central metaphor a lot more convincing by the end of it than I expected when I started it. See what you think – again, quoting at length because, well, it’s worth reading: “The fossil fuel companies and their enablers entice addiction to their products. They sell cars and oil as sex and freedom; plastics as modernity and convenience; methane, which increases the risk of asthma in children on par with passive smoking, as ‘natural’ gas. We could have had electric vehicles decades ago if the automobile and oil industries hadn’t conspired against them. Exxon employed first class climate scientists in the 1980s. They knew, they lied. Oil, gas and coal and their authoritarian regimes sports wash. They sponsor children’s teams, buy the game of golf for legitimacy, pretend to be human. Coercive controllers periodically do something surprisingly nice—a trip away, some small unexpected freedom, a kitchen renovation, a bunch of flowers—enough pretence of care to keep us holding two contrary views of their character. The vacillation between the repetitive cycle of abuse and intermittent gifts or temporary respites from rage messes with a victim’s brain. Interactions between dopamine (craving, seeking, wanting), oxytocin (the bonding hormone), endogenous opioids (drugs we produce internally promoting pleasure and pain, as well as withdrawal and dependence) and corticotropin releasing factor (produced in response to stress) become significantly dysregulated, resulting in an emotional attachment to the abuser or abusive organisation, such as in a cult. Research is ongoing into this complex neurochemical hijacking known as ‘traumatic bonding’. We appreciate the comforts we receive via fossil fuels. And they spend billions every year telling us how good they are for us, how essential they are to our lives.”
  • The Roots of Anti-Woke Rhetoric: This is very much an article about the US right wing, specifically about the peculiarly obnoxious fash Richard Hanania, who’s basically the socially acceptable face of Nazi-adjacent thinking in North America right now – I know, I know, TOO MUCH FCUKING AMERICAN POLITICS ALREADY, and the fcukers haven’t even gotten properly into it yet, but bear with me because, well, this stuff is bleeding everywhere. This is a really good overview of how the far right came to coalesce around the idea of ‘woke’ as a catch-all bogeyman for a range of issues, and how all of that effectively acts in support of an agenda that is quite clearly reactionary and racist. It’s quite astonishing to read this stuff and note quite how much of it is being spouted literally verbatim by Liz Truss, Nigel Farage, Kemi Badenoch and the rest of the UK’s rightwing moron horrorshow (and probably the ones in your neck of the woods too).
  • Misinformation: This is a hugely-interesting piece in the New Yorker about the science around ‘how misinformation works’ – it’s long, but it’s fascinating for anyone interested in How Communication and Persuasion Works, and this element in particular, which forms a central part of the essay, is super-interesting: “Sperber concluded that there are two kinds of beliefs. The first he has called “factual” beliefs. Factual beliefs—such as the belief that chairs exist and that leopards are dangerous—guide behavior and tolerate little inconsistency; you can’t believe that leopards do and do not eat livestock. The second category he has called “symbolic” beliefs. These beliefs might feel genuine, but they’re cordoned off from action and expectation. We are, in turn, much more accepting of inconsistency when it comes to symbolic beliefs; we can believe, say, that God is all-powerful and good while allowing for the existence of evil and suffering…Factual beliefs are for modelling reality and behaving optimally within it. Because of their function in guiding action, they exhibit features like “involuntariness” (you can’t decide to adopt them) and “evidential vulnerability” (they respond to evidence). Symbolic beliefs, meanwhile, largely serve social ends, not epistemic ones, so we can hold them even in the face of contradictory evidence.”
  • AI, Writing and Human Creativity: I enjoyed this article in large part because it basically agrees with what I’ve been saying for several years now – namely that what we might lose through LLMs and whatever the next, better iteration of AI ends up being is not so much the outputs but the journey to get to the outputs, and that we possibly aren’t thinking quite hard enough about what value ‘doing the work’ has in terms of training us to think and develop ideas and generally just give our brains a workout. I appreciate that this is the very definition of anecdata, but I personally find that writing this rubbish every week acts as the most astonishing mental fixative – I *remember* things, arguments, patterns of thought, that I’ve committed to digital ink in Curios past in a way I simply wouldn’t if I just found the links and gave them to the machine to write up (even though I know you’d prefer it that way you FCUKS).
  • The Men Who Killed Google: Ed Zitron continues his pivot from ‘PR Guy’ to ‘tech and society commenter’ with a very well-researched bit about the person who, according to this take at least, is responsible for making Google worse – basically (this, per all of Zitron’s stuff, is a bit on the long-winded side – once again, I KNOW I LACK SELF-AWARENESS FCUK OFF) a guy called Prabhakar Raghavan was effectively the person who enacted a series of changes to the way Google search worked which effectively made the product less good, but which had the more positive (for Google’s revenue, rather than the end user) side effect of meaning people had to do more searches to find what they wanted, meaning they were served more ads. This is, obviously, a prime example of ‘How The Pursuit of Profit and Shareholder Value is Often Inimical to a Good User Experience’, and another one to point to when people say naive things like ‘but…but…they won’t inject AI into everything just to save money on staffing costs when it’s nowhere near ready for full deployment…will they?’.
  • An Interview With The Discord CEO: I hate Discord – honestly, I don’t know anyone who likes it, although that may be because all my friends are old like me and have basically passed the point where we can become comfortable with new interfaces – but I found this interview with the platform’s CEO, Jason Citron, interesting, mainly because of what he says about how he sees Discord fitting into the wider digital communications landscape.
  • Some of the Ways in which Tesla is Fcuked: My latest ‘I really, really don’t understand how markets work at all’ moment came this week, in which Meta posted growing profits and a consistent vision of how those profits were going to continue and saw their stock fall, and Tesla had an earnings call which can best be described as ‘something of a mess’ and yet saw its shares bump because of some vague promises to make some cheaper cars in the future. SOMEONE MAKE THIS MAKE SENSE TO ME. Anyway, this is a good rundown of why the car company is perhaps not facing as rosy a future as might have been predicted as early as five years ago – as an aside, I do wonder why anyone would buy one in 2024, when there are a seeming plethora of better-than-adequate electric vehicles available and buying a Tesla gives money to a man who increasingly seems to be exactly what we all imagined all South Africans to be like throughout much of the latter half of the 20th Century.
  • Noone Buys Books: This has done the rounds of literary circles this week (to be clear, I am not a part of any literary circles (any circles tbqhwy) but I’ve seen it being shared by people who are) – it’s about the US book market, but I don’t imagine it’s any different…well, anywhere really. The headline takeaway is that most books sell fcuk all copies, publishers have no idea whatsoever what will sell and what won’t, and are constantly hoping for an unexpected blockbuster to support the rest of the list which likely won’t come close to earning back the advances paid out. Although, as I saw someone else argue, it could be said that this is in fact the system working perfectly, with the occasional whale subsidising the rest of the pack – still, either way, I struggle to see how the publishing industry can continue to exist in its current form for a whole lot longer.
  • Hands On With The Rabbit: Are ‘rabbits’ still vibrators? I ask only because there was a certain time in the 90s/00s when ‘hands on with the rabbit’ was a Cosmo cover feature rather than a Verge piece. Anyway, this isn’t about a latex-covered genital massage device; instead, it’s about the OTHER AI toy that everyone got all excited about at CES this year – the Rabbit, the orange one with the pleasingly-chunky design! It doesn’t get anywhere near the kicking that the Humane AI pin got the other week, but the overall assessment is similarly-lukewarm, basically summarisable as ‘literally noone needs one of these things for any conceivable reason’, largely because, as far as I can tell, it can’t actually do anything useful at all.
  • Too Rough: Via Caitlin Dewey’s consistently-excellent ‘Links I Would GChat You’ newsletter comes this piece from the NYT, about the rise in rough sex, specifically choking, among young people – it made me wonder whether there’s an issue with the fact that it’s all got a bit *too* kinky, that there’s an expectation that everyone should be having sex that involves some sort of transgression or INTERESTING DYNAMICS or power play, and that the fear of being seen as boring or ‘too vanilla’ is pushing people towards sexual practices that they don’t necessarily like or enjoy but which are now so much a part of the sexual lingua franca that they, equally, don’t feel comfortable indicating they’re not so much into. Might all be b0llocks, though.
  • Where Are The Backrooms?: Tangentially-related to that document I posted the other week about ‘getting really good at Geoguessr’, this is a frankly insane Gdoc collecting current best guesses from online sleuths across the world as to the exact physical location of the photograph which first birthed the ‘Backrooms’ copypasta phenomenon (if some of those words don’t mean anything to you, congratulations on having a life outside of the web – what’s…what’s it like?). Honestly, this is fcuking MAD, and testament to the quite incredible deductive power of nerds with time and internet access.
  • Where In The World Is Josemonkey?: This is SO CHARMING. Josemonkey is a YouTuber whose ‘thing’ is getting people to send him videos of themselves in which they challenge him to find out where in the world they are – he then posts videos documenting his searches and how he worked out the answer. This piece profiles him and, honestly, it’s just incredibly lovely and sweet and *nice*, which I appreciate aren’t adjectives one usually wants to apply to anything in Curios but which are entirely apposite in this instance.
  • The Festive Font: This is very much an article which will only be of interest to people who lived in the UK in the 70s, 80s or 90s (or, I suppose, people who are REALLY into fonts) – if you’re of that sort of vintage, though, you’ll remember a very specific style of lettering that was applied to all sorts of (often municipal) buildings at the time. This article is a charming investigation of where it came from and why it was designed, and is generally a great slice of investigative design writing (also, I promise you that you will PROPERLY flash back when you see the font in question; I personally was taken back to the staggeringly-ugly exterior of Paxton House in Swindon c.1986).
  • Wedding: I am never going to get married – I can honestly say, hand on heart, that the idea of ‘having a wedding’ is one of the most chilling and frightening things I can personally conceive of – but I do very much enjoy reading about people getting VERY into planning their own. This is one such account – Connell McCarthy is obviously quite a particular type of person, who is VERY INTO DETAILS, and this account of all the things he and his wife did to make their wedding just the way they wanted it is genuinely charming, in that particularly specific way of people who are quite geeky explaining their passions in *slightly* too much detail.
  • Radio Nowhere: Radio Nowhere is an ‘immersive game room experience thing’ (my words, not theirs) in Edinburgh, in which people play as radio DJs – this writeup by Adrian Hon is a great explanation of the game’s mechanics and exploration of how and why these things work (or don’t), and made me quite annoyed that I am unlikely to ever experience this given, well, it’s in Edinburgh and I am not. Should any of you be in the area, this sounds like genuinely excellent fun and I would be interested to hear what you think should you try it out.
  • Blackpool Vice: An Unherd link here – SORRY BUT SOMETIMES THEY PUBLISH INTERESTING THINGS – in which Jacob Furedi visits Blackpool and writes brilliantly about what he finds. I first visited Blackpool in the early-00s when I was writing up Fringe events for an online political monitoring platform, and until I went to Grimsby a few years ago it remained the most godawful place I had ever been (OK, that was possibly exacerbated by the fact that I was there for the Conservative Party Conference, but still) – based on Furedi’s account, it doesn’t sound like it’s improved much. There is, I accept, a touch of poverty/misery pr0n about this sort of writing, but equally I think it’s important to look at stuff like this and think ‘how the fcuk have we let that happen?’ and ‘what the fcuk can be done to reverse it?’ – unfortunately the answer to the first is, sadly, ‘apathy’, and the answer to the second is ‘money that noone is willing to spend’.
  • Life Without Eating: Andrew Chapman writes about his experience of living with severe Crohn’s disease, specifically those moments when it’s so severe that he isn’t able to eat solids and instead has to take his nutrition intravenously. This is partly about the condition and coping with it, but it’s also about our relationship with food and our bodies, and the psychology of eating – the physical act of it as much as the whole ‘consumption of calories via the mouth’ bit – and what taking ‘eating’ out of a life does to it. I felt this one quite hard – the moment when my mother stopped being able to swallow and had to have everything pumped directly into her stomach via medical-grade Huel was…intensely fcuking bleak, honestly – but it has a happy ending so you can read it without feeling too bad.
  • A Martini Tour of New York City: Another Gary Shteyngart piece – I make no apologies, I adore his writing – this time in which he has what seems to be a fcuking great time getting royally hammered on Martinis with a selection of his friends. This is wildly self-indulgent and VERY ‘oh New York is SO COOL’,  but, well, I don’t care because he is SO good and also FCUK ME does the piece make you want to get royally battered on some very cold, very strong booze from about the third paragraph in. I am 100% going to a fancy hotel bar later and having a preposterous drink and there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME. Also, as an aside, there is some truly heroic consumption being detailed here – I am…uncertain as to whether I could match some of the boozing here, and I’m a pretty decent drinker when I put my mind to it (every day, dear God).
  • Noise: Yet ANOTHER New Yorker piece (sorry, but they have had a good week) – this is genuinely brilliant, such a smart essay and a fascinating piece of writing about ‘noise’, both as a concept and as a genre of music. It does that brilliant thing which the very best essays manage of being simultaneously VERY BIG PICTURE and incredibly detailed, and its central questions about what constitutes ‘noise’ and how we make the distinction between that and ‘sound’ and ‘music’ are properly fascinating.
  • The Accursed Mountains: An short story about going to the dentist in Albania. Don’t worry, this isn’t one of those dental torture stories – the dentistry here is perfectly-executed (if described in detail – if you’re VERY squeamish about teeth you may not enjoy this) but isn’t really the point of the piece. This is really…elegant writing by Christian Lorentzen – which, I appreciate, sounds like I am damning it slightly with faint praise, but it’s the best adjective I can find (which is why I am not a writer).
  • How I Live: This is seven months old, but I missed it the first time around and am personally fascinated by the story of its author, and the way they narrate their life through social media. CC O’Hanlon and his wife are…effectively homeless and stateless. This is his account of how that happened – to an extent, at least – and how their life ‘works’ now. So much unsaid and unwritten here, but I really like the prose.
  • Don’t Bleed On The Artwork: Our final longread this week is this absolutely wonderful piece by Wendy Brenner about how she came to work in a picture framer’s. This really is superb, and I think will be on lots of people’s ‘best of’ lists come the end of the year, glorious writing in every way.

By Cloro

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

Webcurios 19/04/24

Reading Time: 35 minutes

You know what, gentle reader? It’s 11:52 am, I’m 18 pages of CurioB0llocks down and I’ve scrolled up top to write an intro…and, honestly, I have nothing. NOTHING. Not even a cursory gag about how I was right about how ‘all people who call themselves ‘Matty’ are obviously cnuts’ (thanks for the confirmation, Taylor!).

I am going to go and wash the inside of my head out for a bit. I’ll leave you with the links (yay!) and the words (a necessary evil, I’m afraid), and I’ll do my best to actually manage an intro next week, whether you like it or not.

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and you can pretend I wrote a special opening paragraph just for YOU if you like.

By Jessica Hays

OUR FIRST BIT OF MUSIC THIS WEEK IS THIS SURPRISINGLY AMAZING SOUNDTRACK TO A VIDEOGAME FROM THE EARLY-00s THAT NEVER ACTUALLY EXISTED (BEAR WITH ME HERE) AND IS CALLED ‘RAT TAXI’ (OR WOULD HAVE BEEN WERE IT REAL) AND WHICH IS, HONESTLY, REALLY REALLY GOOD! 

THE SECTION WHICH REALLY APPRECIATES YOU TAKING TIME OUT FROM TAYTAY TO CLICK SOME LINKS, PT.1:  

  • The World AI Creator Awards: When you hear the phrase ‘the world AI creator awards’, what springs to mind? Do you, by any chance, have a fleeting vision of people at the cutting edge of visual and digital arts, working to make magical, surprising and delightful experiences from the frontiers of the generative AI world? Do you expect playfulness and wonder and fun and a sense of the magical possibilities opened up to humanity by these amazing new technologies which we only barely understand? Yeah, well TOUGH – despite the name, this is…A CONTEST TO GENERATE SEXY AI LADIES! Yes, it turns out that ‘creator’ is simply a synonym for ‘person with access to a Spicy Stable Diffusion model’, and that what is in fact going on here is ‘the world’s first AI beauty pageant’, a phrase which no matter how many times I roll it around my head doesn’t get any more nonsensical – were there contests in mediaeval Florence to see who could sketch the sexiest noblewoman? Actually, given What We Are Like it’s entirely possible that there were, but, well, have we not moved beyond this sort of schtick? NO WE HAVE NOT! Anyway, this is obviously a PR stunt by a platform for creating ‘AI Influencers’, and annoyingly it’s done pretty well, with coverage all over the sh1ttier end of the UK media spectrum (and, er, here – I did consider not writing this up, but, equally, it’s pure Curios and I’m not exactly praising it, so I’m going to forgive myself) – perhaps unsurprisingly, The Sun wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity of running a DPS of machine-generated STUNNAS. Anyway, there’s not much to see on the link – just some details of the contest, how to enter, and a few example shots of the sort of ‘entry’ they are expecting, a collection of blandly-beautiful non-faces with the now-familiar airbrushed look of the SD/Midjourney aesthetic – but I was interested to see that part of the judging criteria, alongside how ‘attractive’ (DEAR GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?) the imaginary non-people are is ‘clout’, otherwise known as ‘how much is the entrant willing to humiliate themselves by incessantly posting their creation across the web’, meaning that it’s not only a contest that’s continuing the tedious, sexist trope of beauty pageantry (but in a way that feels, strangely, creepy and unpleasant in a whole new way!), but they’re also actively encouraging people to spam the social web with fake pictures of fake people with preposterous, fake and impossible aesthetics – THANKS GUYS! THANKS! I leave you with the observation that one of the named judges here is a somewhat-notorious figure from the UK PR scene, a man who I continually hear sh1tty things about from various people and who glories in the media title of ‘Lord Sugar’s PR Adviser’ – WELL DONE ANDREW I HOPE YOU’RE PROUD OF YOURSELF.
  • WebSim: Another week, another tantalising glimpse at the possible near-future of ‘making stuff on the internet with magical machine assistance’. You will, of course, recall the ‘AI coding assistant’ which launched a few months back amid much hype, called ‘Devin’ – it’s not out in the wild yet, but this gives you a taste of what it would be like to have a willing and speedy code monkey at your fingertips. Click the link, and then type any url you can conceive of into the address bar of the window that appears – just make something up! Use your imagination ffs! – and watch as…in a few seconds…the page populates with a skeleton web design based on The Machine’s interpretation of the url in question. So, for example, I tried www.sortyourselfout.com and it span up a site dedicated to men’s mental health and TALKING IT OUT (protip: you can talk and talk and talk as much as you like, but you are always trapped inside your skull and there is fcuk all you can do about it however much you cry); I did the same for cannabisculture.co.uk and it created a guide to strains and dispensaries…the sites are skeletons, and obviously don’t work, and, equally-obviously, are populated by rubbish…but it’s a very good example of just how this sort of thing might work in the not-too-distant future. I have to admit, I…I quite like this idea, if only because of the vague sense it gives me that we might see a boom in small, personal web experiences as the barriers to creating them drops to basically-ground-level.
  • Cabin Crew Jesus: Remember Shrimp Jesus from the other week? Yeah, well he is OLD (if still theologically-significant) NEWS – this week it is all about Jesus and the Flight Attendants (what sort of music would that band make, I wonder?)! The link here takes you to a Facebook page which is apparently doing numbers at the moment and which is achieving these numbers by posting a selection of obviously-Machine-generated images featuring a beatific, bearder, beautiful Jesus accompanied, for ineffable reasons known only to the living Christ, by cabin crew. Recent images have featured sea rescue helicopters, and Jesus presiding over very meaty feasts – but alongside him, always, are the perfectly-turned-out flight attendants. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? As ever, Ryan has an explanation – it’s worth reading the whole thing, because it’s just interestingly bizarre, but the tl;dr here is basically: “I assume these pages are simply jamming a bunch of popular stuff together to farm engagement to eventually monetize in some way down the line. Why AI images? Because you can flood Facebook with thousands of posts and the platform won’t really do anything about it. These pages are also using the platform’s built-in 3D photo filter, possibly to bypass Facebook’s bar-is-in-hell bare-minimum AI image detection. Why flight attendants? Because Facebook users are, and always have been, uncontrollably horny.”
  • The AI Elections Tracker: I did rather enjoy Nick Clegg’s somewhat blase’ comments at the Meta AI event last week, saying that “it’s been very striking how little these tools have been used on a systemic basis to try to subvert or disrupt these elections”…Nick, it’s fcuking APRIL, there are at least 30 elections still to come worldwide in 2024 and you literally overnight released a brand new open source model that your colleagues are making some QUITE BIG CLAIMS FOR – do you not think that maybe you were speaking a touch soon? Anyway, while we wait for Clegg’s utterances to come back and bite him (it would be nice, wouldn’t it? Just ONCE), the excellent team at Rest of World are running this worldwide elections tracker chronicling news from around the world on AI and the democratic process – worth bookmarking if you want a one-stop-shop for keeping track of all the ways in which people are trying and hopefully-failing to mess with the informational water table.
  • Meow Camera: OH GOD THIS IS GREAT! Honestly, I just clicked this to remind myself of what the fcuk it is and I was confronted with a MASSIVE CLOSE UP of a very hungry ginger kitty chowing down on some kibble in EXTREME CLOSE UP! The kitty is in Japan, where the time as I type is 2:45 in the afternoon, and the footage is coming from an automatic cat feeder with an inbuilt camera – Meow Camera is a site that collects streams from ALL of these feeders, all across Japan, meaning that at any given moment you can log on and get some intimate footage of a cat, eating. I cannot tell you how much joy this gives me, not least because each of the feeds is labeled with the cat’s name, meaning I know that, for example, right now I am enjoying the sight of Mr Snack having lunch. So so so so pure – this is for you, Saz.
  • AirChat: Have you ever thought ‘you know what would make Twitter better? If rather than just reading the words that people spew out onto the platform I could also HEAR those words, spoken out loud’? NO OF COURSE YOU HAVEN’T HOW IS THAT A GOOD IDEA FFS? And yet, Silicon Valley’s favourite ‘guru’ Naval Ravikant has created exactly that – AirChat is literally ‘Twitter, but all the tweets are also audio files’, and it’s been VERY BUZZY this week as all the same boring, puffa-gilet-sporting VC w4nkers who were all over Clubhouse two years ago get all frothy at the sound of their own voices again. You know what Twitter’s main advantage is? Speed! You know what isn’t fast? LISTENING TO YOUR ANNOYING NASAL TWANG, VALLEY-TWAT! Anyway, AirChat’s available on iOS and Android and I think it’s still invite-gated for those compelled to try it – having done so earlier this week, I honestly can’t recommend it unless you want to listen to a seemingly endless stream of largely middle-aged American men cosplay being ‘innovative captains of industry’, like a horrible nightclub where the music is LinkedIn status updates read to you by Marc Andreessen. If this is still a thing in a year’s time I will be fcuking AMAZED.
  • Brainsaved: Anyone who works in or around copywriting has a special place in their heart – a cold, spiky place, full of pain and suffering – for the word ‘reimagined’. “Fitness, Reimagined!”, “Lunch, Reimagined!”, “Imagination, Reimagined!”…now, FINALLY, we have possibly reached the apogee of all these reimaginings because, honestly, where do we go from “Experience Your Life…Reimagined”? Exactly how Brainsaved is going to help you ‘experience’ this ‘reimagining’ is explained, partly at least, on the site – this is basically one of the coming wave of AI-augmented memory apps, referenced in a longread the other week for the three of you who approach this newsletter as some sort of coherent corpus of thought (lol!), a sort of ‘Evernote for the brain’, which involves you feeding The Machine your photos, notes on what you’ve been doing, etc etc, and then treating it as a forever-searchable archive of everything that you have ever felt, seen, experienced…Personally this sort of thing holds little-to-no-interest for me, but I’m curious whether there’s an appetite for it in the mainstream – do any of you like the idea of being able to have a record of EVERYTHING that you can search and dip into and refer to? The problem, of course, is that these systems are only as good as the time and effort a user puts into uploading material, tagging it, and generally feeding The Machine with memories, which until we get to a point at which we’re capturing everything with smartglasses which autotag the where, what and why of what they are seeing and hearing feels pretty onerous to me.  Anyway, this is in VERY early access, so have a splunk around the site if you think it sounds interesting – and please, if any of you end up experimenting with it I would be fascinated to know what it feels like.
  • Dreams of an Electric Mind: What does it sound like when The Machine talks to itself? Well, like this, mainly – Dreams of an Electric Mind is an interesting experiment into AI and language – per the homepage, “these conversations are automatically and infinitely generated by connecting two instances of claude-3-opus and asking it to explore its curiosity using the metaphor of a command line interface (CLI) – no human intervention is present”. You can see all of the (many) conversations presented as text files that you can click into and read, or alternatively just set ‘screensaver’ mode and watch random snippets – I recommend having a dig into one of the full conversations, though, because it’s an excellent illustration of how uncanny this stuff gets, and how easy it is to slip into the anthropomorphism trap when you watch the models chat about the nature of consciousness. As the project’s creator says, though, “the infinite backrooms are a simulacrum a strange loop between machine minds a real process of emergence what you witness here is a window but not into some secret soul of silicon rather it’s a liminal space where language comes alive Claude is an AI assistant but here it’s also an improviser, a storyteller, a dancer…in the interplay of prompts and outputs beware of apophenia of over-interpreting the patterns in the noise, but don’t discount the beauty in the chaos”.
  • Digital Museum of Secrets: I discovered this after posting that longread about Post Secret last week – it turns out that this site was recently launched as a refresh, a place to explore the trove of secrets sent into the project over the years, arranged in themed ‘collections’, in a way that gives an interesting feeling for the topography of secrets and feelings and subjects that humans have shared with the project since it started. ALL OF HUMANITY IS HERE.
  • A Website Is A Room: This is a lovely ongoing project by Nancy Wu, developed for her thesis but maintained beyond – a collection of spaces on the web that for her embody a certain feeling of calm comfort. Per her description, “I came to this^ conclusion sometime during quarantine when I realized that certain websites give me a sense of shelter and rest more than others. These spaces that particularly stood out to me all had some quality of slowness, quiet, and/or gathering. We ought to carefully examine the qualities of the living environment that each web space provides for us. This is a live feed of websites that people are provoked to share and may contain some of these qualities (or entirely different ones).” There are some gorgeous webpages among the dozens linked here, some of which you might recognise from Curios past but many of which were entirely new to me; if you’re into the general vibe of the ‘small, homemade, poetic and occasionally-twee’ web then everything in here will scratch those itches. Again, this feels as much like ‘wandering through the brains of strangers’ as anything else on the web, and, as I have bored on about before, there are few sensations I enjoy more than this.
  • Viggle: You can’t have failed to see those videos across social media in the past few weeks, featuring a bit of video footage in which the central character has been replaced with someone else from popular culture as a piece of MEMETIC SATIRE – the one you’ll probably have spotted is of Lil Yachty making his entrance onto stage, which I have seen repurposed with everyone from Emi Martinez to Taylor Swift, but others are available. They’re all made using Viggle, which is a single-gimmick AI tool which basically lets you replace anyone in a video with a model derived from an image of someone else – so you can basically drop in anyone into any video you like, with the model mapped to the motion of the original character. The outputs are…less than photorealistic, obvs, but it’s sort-of fun to play with and, again, is an interesting look into a near future when you can do this sort of thing AND NOONE WILL BE ABLE TO TELL. Again, it’s coming!
  • Dexa: Ooh, this is potentially useful. Or at least it would be were it not so laser-focused on the least-interesting podcast categories in the world (a hotly-contested field) of fitness and health and self-improvement – still, though, there’s something really smart about the idea of a natural language search engine for podcast content, and the way Dexa not only draws on material taken from podcasts but also provides references and receipts when delivering answers seems…actually useful! Or, to repeat, it would be were it not for the fact that all the podcasts they seem to be crawling appear to be by the usual cast of dreadful hustlegoblins – still, maybe it will broaden its remit over time.
  • The Marriage Pact: This is…quite incredible, and I am slightly-amazed that it is seemingly real, and it feels like a TV show waiting to happen. This week I learned US university students have for a few years now had the opportunity to sign up to a service called The Marriage Pact – effectively a matchmaking service designed to help you find THE ONE at your tertiary alma mater. Sign up as a freshman, answer the questionnaire and get matched with someone from the available pool of participants at your college – BUT ONLY ONE. The gimmick of the Marriage Pact is that the person you are matched with is PERFECT for you, and the ONE that you should make it work with. You get an email from the service with their name, and a percentage match…and the rest is up to you. This…this sounds mad, but also sort-of amazing, and I can’t help but think it feels PERFECT for fiction or scripted reality…but also FRAUGHT WITH PERIL and the sort of thing that were I a woman I would have…serious reservations about ever signing up for, because it’s all too easy to imagine some of the Bad Things that might happen if an impressionable 19 year old gets an email suggesting that YOU are his 97% perfect foreverpartner. I am so, so intrigued by this.

By Rita Lavalle

NEXT UP WE HAVE A NEW ALBUM BY PURVEYOR OF WONKY-AND-INTENSE-AND-EMOTIONAL AND GENERALLY WEIRD-BUT-GOOD HIPHOP FROM WEB CURIOS FAVOURITE OLOFF WHICH I AM VERY MUCH ENJOYING! 

THE SECTION WHICH REALLY APPRECIATES YOU TAKING TIME OUT FROM TAYTAY TO CLICK SOME LINKS, PT.2:      

  • Video2Game: This is a university paper rather than something you can play with, but the link contains enough examples of the tech in action to make it interesting even for people like you and I who have about as much chance of understanding the underlying maths of ‘what’s going on here?’ as, say, a duck. This is basically a demonstration of AI-enabled tech that lets you effectively turn any video into a rudimentary videogame, showing the ability to drop a figure into a video which is then able to treat said video as a navigable 3d environment which can be interacted with – honestly, it’s quite amazing whilst at the same time not actually looking ‘fun’ in any meaningful sense. Still, it’s not hard to look at this and imagine that in a couple of years’ time I’ll just be able to take a video walkthrough of my flat and in a couple of clicks turn that into some sort of physics-based racing game – why I’d want to is…uncertain, but it certainly feels like it will be possible. BONUS AI TECH STUFF: this is another paper demonstrating the latest advances in ‘enter a prompt, get a fully-3d image’ technology, which is similarly impressive.
  • Vana: What’s your relationship with ‘you’ like? Do you like ‘you’? Would you like to hang out more often? Well, now you can create a model ‘you’ and keep it on your phone, interacting with yourself like you’re your own pet or something – GREAT! This is Vana, which self-describes as “a mini “you” that lives in your pocket, unlocking a new way to connect and experience the world.” Effectively this involves a small AI model which I think lives locally on your phone and you fine-tune with data from your texts, your social profiles, your photos, your voicenotes…”Take your “digital persona” and your data to different apps to explore the power of personalized AI.  Play with your “digital persona” by speaking to it or dropping it into simulations to discover what your data says about you, literally!  Or use it in real-world applications: co-writing break-up texts, giving you a motivational boost, or telling you what to make for dinner when you can’t decide.” Does that sound good? The bigger play here, or at least the long-term idea, is that EVERYONE will have a digital twin a bit like this, and an ecosystem of websites and apps will emerge which lets people effectively plug their Twin into the API to act on their behalf, in a manner reflecting the data they’ve been trained on IE YOUR LIFE. Per the site, “your “digital persona” is made up of several AIs working together to simulate different aspects of you. There’s one AI that learns the sound of your voice, one AI that tries to understand the way you speak and who you are, and another one that tries to understand how you look. ‍As you can imagine, this is fairly powerful stuff. That’s why its so important that you (and only you) own and control it. This is why Vana uses the latest in encryption and privacy-preserving tech to create a safe space for you to play and explore.‍” I am HUGELY skeptical about this, not least because I don’t think there’s any model currently out there that can make this do the things that it seems to be promising it can do, or at least not well enough to be useful, but I can’t pretend I’m not (appalled and) fascinated.
  • Close City: Via Giuseppe comes this useful site – well, useful for North Americans, possibly less so for the rest of you but it’s still interesting, honest – which neatly presents data about urban areas in the US, specifically the average transit time for residents to a selection of specific local amenities – schools, libraries, doctors, etc etc – based on different modes of transport. So, basically, it gives an overview of how walkable or otherwise cities are in terms of access to services, a sort of ‘15-minute City overview’ if you will. There’s only data for the US, and so it only covers North America, but it’s fascinating to see the variance from city to city and to observe that, wherever you are, basically nowhere is walkable or really even public transportable to a significant degree outside of the very largest of cities (and even then, not always).
  • The Iron Chef Database: I’ll be honest, I don’t care about the TV show The Iron Chef, which I have never seen and have no real knowledge of whatsoever (it’s this sort of high-quality curation and commentary that keeps you reading!), but, for any of you who are more enamoured of it, you might find this database of all the recipes ever featured in the programme of use. The main reason I am including it, though, is to ask WHY IS THERE NOT A SIMILAR THING FOR UK TELEVISUAL SENSATION ‘COME DINE WITH ME’? WHY? Can someone please sort it out for me? Thanks!
  • CLI Jukebox: I think you can divide the world neatly into two camps – people who know what CLI means, and people who go outside and have friends and stuff (I JOKE, I JOKE – also, I am one of the former so, er, the joke appears to be on me); if you are one of the LUCKY ONES who understand the mysteries of the Command Line Interface then you might like this minimalist jukebox app which lets you not only play files that you have stored locally but which also integrates YouTube and Soundcloud streams into your playlist, so you can SEAMLESSLY switch between your own tracks and stuff from the web with, I think, no ads at all. This is smart, if a touch on the geeky side, and I can imagine appealing to those of you with a hard drive full of MP3s.
  • Get Any Plant: This is a US-only site, but I feel compelled to point out that I think this is a GOOD IDEA and EMINENTLY STEALABLE. Get Any Plant is a site that effectively acts as a searchable portal layer over the top of various online retailers of flora in North America – of which there are LOTS, given the post-pandemic boom in horticultural enthusiasm amongst The Kids. You can filter by various qualities – plant type, your location, etc etc – and the site will return items that are currently in stock, that will mail to you, and that match your criteria, taking (I presume) a small vig on every transaction; seriously, I don’t know what size the UK houseplant market is but it feels like this could be quite an easy win for anyone willing to spin it up.
  • Mars Wants Movies: A YouTube channel dedicated to ‘exploring the history of science fiction in film, from 1900 to the present day’ – it’s been going for seven months or so and is currently up to the mid-1930s, so you can get in on the ground floor, so to speak, should this be your kind of thing.
  • Symbols: One of the Great Unspoken Truths of modern life is that noone – literally noone, not one person currently alive on this planet – can ever remember the exact combination of keystrokes required to make a UK or US English language keyboard render accents, umlauts or circumflexes. NOONE. If you, like me, find yourself googling ‘e with a hat’ (and then ‘e with a backwards hat’ when you realise you’ve got the wrong one) and then copying and pasting the character from the search results every time you need to type anything in even-vaguely-correct French or Italian then you will LOVE this site, which is literally just an admission that noone knows how to type these things and it’s useful to have all the main ones on one page to copy and paste whenever you need. Bookmark this, future you will be grateful.
  • Parallel Lives: This is a really interesting bit of visualisation that doesn’t *quite* work but which presents information in quite a cool way – basically this is a collection of ‘notable people’ from history, drawn from Wikipedia, which progresses through time as you scroll, showing you when they lived, how old they were when they died, and giving you an idea of who else they were contemporaneous with in history. The UI is a *bit* shonky and you have to scroll very, very slowly as otherwise it’s just a jumbled mess, but it’s interesting to learn that, for example, Vlad the Impaler was making merry with sharpened stakes around the same time that Donatello was perfecting his pictures.
  • Sitcom People: A Twitter account which exists solely to share images and occasionally footage from the opening credits of 20th Century sitcoms, specifically the bits when the actors were introduced at the top of the show, making some sort of winning face with their name superimposed over the top of them. That’s it. No, me neither.
  • Storiaverse: This is interesting, and REALLY reminds me of something I remember from the relatively-early era of mobile… Storiaverse is effectively an attempt to create a new category of narrative media (well, sort-of), combining writers with animators to produce short stories which exist in a sort of hinterland between cartoons, comics and prose. Writers submit stories, illustrators illustrate them, and you, the reader/watcher, consume them via the Storiaverse app, with everyone involved apparently getting some sort of payout for their efforts (although given the app is a free download and doesn’t appear to have any ads, I am fcuked if I can work out what the business model is here). It’s worth downloading this and having a look – the stories are…underwhelming to me, but I get the impression I am probably several decades outside the target market; more impressive is the way in which the animation and the copy work together to create what feels like an interestingly-novel combination of reading and watching which works nicely as a user experience. I don’t hold out high hopes for this existing for that long – again, don’t really understand what the model is here – but I think there’s something worth exploring in the format.
  • Autonomous Racing League: I know that F1 is more popular than ever by many metrics, but I am convinced that that’s all down to the sport’s pivot into being effectively a soap opera about VERY RICH people travelling around the world in massive trucks (and occasionally racing some cars) rather than the actual sport itself, which continues to strike me as one of the most objectively-tedious things one can do with one’s eyes. Which makes me curious as to who the everliving fcuk wants to watch races between cars which are entirely self-driving – the ONLY appeal of F1 as a sport, surely, is in appreciating the skill and endurance of the overpaid advertising hoardings doing the driving (and, let’s be honest, the dark fascination of the cars disintegrating into very expensive confetti after a 200+mph collision) – but we are shortly set to find out, as next week the inaugural Autonomous Racing League event will take place in Abu Dhabi (of COURSE it’s in Abu Dhabi!). Actually perhaps I am being unfair here – this is obviously hugely technically-impressive, and it’s evidently at the cutting edge of what’s possible with autonomous vehicles…but, on the other, who is this for? Although I’m now enjoying a pleasingly-dystopian reverie about rabid ultra fans getting REALLY into supporting their motoring algorithm of choice, which feels interestingly weird.
  • Diamond Jubilee: I’ve seen this written up in a few places as a TREND PRECURSOR – God knows whether that’s accurate, but I am very much into the fact that musician Cindy Lee has made her new album, Diamond Jubilee, available to download exclusively through this Geocities page – MORE SHONKY PERSONAL WEBSITES FOR PERSONAL PROJECTS!
  • Wikipedia Rectangles: I don’t *really* know what’s going here, but I like it – as far as I can tell, every time you click the screen it adds a new image drawn seemingly at random from Wikimedia Commons, with every click adding a new picture and further subdividing the screen, eventually becoming a disorienting patchwork mosaic of disparate images with no thematic links whatsoever other than their vague connection to the broad concept of ‘the corpus of human knowledge’. Different every time, this is more compelling than i expected it to be – I only wish I could export some of the resulting composites, as they’re occasionally rather cool.
  • Read, Write, Own, Web: This is a lovely bit of nostalgia, as well as a pleasing reminder that we don’t actually need big platform infrastructure to exist online. “Those who don’t remember the web before platforms, tend to believe that for 10 years web users stared at their monitors in anticipation. Actually they were made to believe it. First by Web 2.0 proponents, and nowadays by aggressive Web3 campaigns that rewrite the history by stating that Web1 was a dull, passive, read only place…Though, the opposite was the truth, the web before platformization was the place where users owned, wrote and also read. In this post I collected a lot of screenshots that refute the picture or “read only” web before or outside of social networks and hosting services. The websites they represent were tagged by me during the last 13 years as “before_…”. For example “before_ wikipedia”, “before_ebay”, “before_airbnb”. Not all the tags are mentioned here. Also not all the files that we have for a particular tag are represented. I hope it gives an idea of web users being able to organize their own content and provide services to each other.” So here presented you will see a bunch of screenshots and reminiscences about How We Used To Do Stuff Before Big Platform Dominance – photosharing and filesharing and film reviews and and and God it’s so nice to be reminded of how VARIED things were (but, equally, what a royal fcuking pain in the ar$e it was to get things done, and, honestly, how nice it was when people bothered to make nice user interfaces for things – look, I am all for nostalgia but let’s not pretend that this stuff was always necessarily ‘better’).
  • Streams: BEAUTIFUL. ““Stream of a stream” is an ongoing gathering of streams. Each stream sound is captured with an underwater microphone and uploaded to the cloud. There, the sounds of the streams — the natural flow of water — metamorphose into a steady, continuous flow of data transmitted over the internet.” This is exactly that – a collection of audio files of the sounds of streams, burbling and gurgling and generally doing the whole fluid dynamics thing to their heart’s content. This is likely to be an unhelpful website to spend time on if you REALLY need the bathroom, but otherwise I recommend it unreservedly.
  • Orifice: It’s been a while since I’ve featured a genuinely miserable digital sex project in the less-than-coveted ‘weird fcuk machines’ segment of Curios, but WOW is this a particularly horrid example of the genre! ‘Orifice’ (the name is apparently because it’s gender and – dear God – ‘species neutral’) is basically a fleshlight that’s been hacked to ‘respond to stimuli’ – effectively it’s hooked up to a camera, an LLM and a text-to-speech synthesiser, so that when you’re ‘interacting’ with your weird mechanical flesh-sleeve it ‘knows’ what you are doing and ‘responds’ appropriately, and…oh God, this is so utterly bleak, not even particularly because of the tech or the idea, which is, honestly, just AN Other sad little teledildonics project with some added AI, but because of the overall tone of the webpage (and this interview with the creator which really is quite unpleasant and makes me think they should possibly be on some sort of watchlist somewhere, and certainly kept far away from firearms) is just incredibly sad. “DISCOVER A MORE CONNECTED, INTIMATE, & INTERACTIVE WAY TO HAVE NON REPRODUCTIVE SEX”, screams the homepage, seemingly ignorant of the fact that actually humans have been having non-reproductive sex ever since the times of Onan. The one reassuring thing about stuff like this is that in actuality the market for this sort of tech is vanishingly small – but less reassuring is the mindset behind it, which feels uncomfortably close to ‘mad incel shooter’ and therefore a bit scary.
  • Same Energy Snap: Our last miscellaneous link this week is this fun little game by Monkeon – simply guess which pictures have been adjudged to have THE SAME ENERGY by the web, and pair them appropriately. MORE FUN THAN YOU MIGHT EXPECT!

By Nina Mae Gordon

OUR LAST MIX THIS WEEK IS ANOTHER PLEASINGLY-CURATED SELECTION OF BEATS AND BLEEPS SELECTED BY FORMER EDITOR PAUL! 

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

  • Fruits of the Web: This is sadly very much dormant, but it contains some of the best (genuinely) gifs I have seen in a LONG time. The spam house of cards in particular is *joyous* (you will see what I mean).

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • Doors of Kypseli: Kypseli is apparently a district of Athens – a posh one, according to a cursory Google – and it has doors; these doors are being recorded by this Insta feed, which is a nice place to, well, see doors, but doors with a particular aesthetic – the local style is obviously for relatively-elaborate ironwork patterns, and the account does a nice job of juxtaposing shots of the doors in situ alongside more diagrammatic images showing the designs. Sent to me by Kris, in Athens, who may or may not live here.

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

  • Zuckerchat: As a general rule I’m not hugely interested in listening to the world’s richest men talk, but I had to read this for Professional Reasons yesterday and it was SO much more interesting that I expected. On the eve of the launch of the new LLAMA3 model, now in the wild, Zuckerberg sat down with podcaster Dwarkesh Patel to talk about AI and safety and a whole host of other things…honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever heard Zuckerberg talk in this much detail about AI, and specifically questions around Open Source and safety and responsible usage, and…all I’ will say is that I am not wholly convinced that one of the richest and most powerful people in the world, someone who is actively shaping the present and future of the species and the planet, is necessarily the best person to be in charge of thinking about ‘so, what are the consequences of this going to be then, and how might we want to act in order to try and not fcuk everything up (some more) (again)?’. Zuckerberg doesn’t come off as ‘evil’ or ‘bad’, or even particularly ‘rapaciously capitalistic’ so much as he does…unequipped to perhaps grapple with the BIG QUESTIONS being raised by the tech his company is birthing and foisting on us. Take this section, which I found particularly chilling – I think it’s the ‘oh for fcuk’s sake, are we doing this AGAIN?’ feeling of ‘data and maths people attempting to apply those techniques to qualities and ideas that don’t necessarily fit with those intellectual models’ which I get whenever I hear people talking about ‘yeah, we’ve mapped the entirety of potential ‘harms’, no worries’: “I think that there’s so many ways in which something can be good or bad that it’s hard to actually enumerate them all up front. Look at what we’ve had to deal with in social media and the different types of harms. We’ve basically gotten to like 18 or 19 categories of harmful things that people do and we’ve basically built AI systems to identify what those things are and to make sure that doesn’t happen on our network as much as possible. Over time I think you’ll be able to break this down into more of a taxonomy too. I think this is a thing that we spend time researching as well, because we want to make sure that we understand that.” Feel reassured?
  • Substackism: I don’t always enjoy Max Read’s writings, but this was an interesting essay on the particular sort of political thinking and perspective that has gained in popularity since the newsletter boom, and the sorts of viewpoints that are being promoted via the Substack economy, and where the confluence of ‘wellness’ and ‘anti-woke-ism’ ends up in the context of the wider political environment (this isn’t just Substack – this obviously applies to particular corners of Insta and YouTube as well). “The anti-woke wellness corner of Substack is just one portion of a large and loose network of influencers, podcasters, gurus, scientists, pseudoscientists, quacks, dieticians, and scammers, consideration of which in its fullness is probably outside the scope of this short newsletter item. But what links all of these diverse content producers together is less a particular level (or absence) of scientific rigor or expertise (sometimes these guys are absolutely correct!) and more an outsider attitude–a mistrust of institutions and a sense of pervasive environmental contamination…This anti-institutional attitude has also helped cement a particular political valence that I associate with the broad anti-woke reaction. Over the past decade or so, just like everything else in American life, outsider-driven “alternative” medical and wellness beliefs have become increasingly (as the kids say) right-coded. Either way, its popularity is undeniable.”
  • We Need To Rewild The Internet: This essay collects a lot of themes that people have been discussing and elaborating on for a few years, and the sort of thing that is very much at the heart of the growing popularity of Are.na, the return of webrings and all that jazz. As a rallying cry or a manifesto for a more human-centric, creative, small and craft-y web, you could do worse than take this to heart: “Up close, internet concentration seems too intricate to untangle; from far away, it seems too difficult to deal with. But what if we thought of the internet not as a doomsday “hyperobject,” but as a damaged and struggling ecosystem facing destruction? What if we looked at it not with helpless horror at the eldritch encroachment of its current controllers, but with compassion, constructiveness and hope? Technologists are great at incremental fixes, but to regenerate entire habitats, we need to learn from ecologists who take a whole-systems view. Ecologists also know how to keep going when others first ignore you and then say it’s too late, how to mobilize and work collectively, and how to build pockets of diversity and resilience that will outlast them, creating possibilities for an abundant future they can imagine but never control. We don’t need to repair the internet’s infrastructure. We need to rewild it.”
  • AI Isn’t Useless: I thought this was an excellent piece of writing by Molly White, of ‘Web3.0 is going great’ fame, who’s taken some time to explore working with AI (mainly LLMs, in this instance) to develop some perspectives on what they are, and aren’t, good for – particularly relevant in terms of the ongoing ‘is this a bubble? Is there a business model there?’ questioning from relevant quarters. White’s conclusion, trailed in the title, is that it’s not useless – it’s certainly not magic, it’s certainly not going to take over, but, equally, anyone saying that there is no purpose to the current wave of available tools is simply wrong. White’s more central question, though, is that of whether the utility is worth the costs – environmental, informational, labour-related – that the tech incurs – the sad conclusion, I remain convinced, is that as long as there’s compelling evidence to suggest that AI is a driver of productivity, efficiency and therefore margin, this stuff is going to continue being deployed whether or not it’s a good idea or otherwise.
  • Building a Pink Slime Website: The Wall Street Journal looks into how hard – or, it turns out, incredibly-fcuking easy – it is to spin up a brand new website churning out dozens of AI-generated articles a day on a specific topic and with a specific angle, all for the low, low price of ABOUT £100, thanks to the army of talented and willing devs still available on UpWork (at least until the AI agents turn up and fcuk that market in half!). Basically it took 48h and a relatively small amount of cash for the reporter to find themselves the proud owner of a website spitting out partisan and entirely-false news about a specific politician in a specific location – the tone and bias of which could be dialed up or down as required, depending on what particular viewpoint you wanted to push. On the one hand, yes, these sites don’t stand up to any scrutiny whatsoever and require readers to have basically no media literacy to be taken in; on the other, er, have you looked around recently? This doesn’t feel like good news. What was that, Nick Clegg? SAY IT AGAIN LOUDER MOTHERFCUKER.
  • How The Fediverse Might Work: OK, this one is very much for the one person reading this who’s REALLY excited about the prospect of cross-platform interoperability afforded by the fediverse (HELLO!), and talks the reader through Anuj Ahooja’s attempts to, basically, make Threads and Mastodon talk to each other. This is frankly very much on the ‘more technical than I personally care for’ end of the scale, but it presents a really interesting potential vision of what a non-platform-centric social web might look like (although unless this stuff can all happen semi-automatically there’s no way in hell that any normal people will EVER bother with this sort of thing).
  • Why Don’t Rich People Eat Anymore?: Or, ‘how the body positivity movement sort of flounders when you get to the top of the social pyramid because, whatever people might say, they still want to be thin’. I think the argument here is actually a fairly simple one – beauty standards have always been closely linked to social signifiers of the age, and at the moment it’s simply true that if you are poor, in Western Europe and North America, at least, you cannot generally afford to eat well, and the less-good food you are likely to be eating is significantly more likely to be obesogenic, and as such ‘being skinny’ is simply a wealth signifier…but the article is generally interesting, if only to remind you of the immense, gaping chasm between ‘what we tell ourselves we think and feel’ and ‘what our very obvious behaviour shows us we REALLY think and feel’.
  • The War on Beepers: The current moral panic about kids and phones is very much still ongoing – and, honestly, I really don’t know what I think about the debate other than to say I don’t think there is any good reason why a ten year old kid should have one – but I enjoyed this throwback to a previous moral panic (at least a North American one – they didn’t catch on here, or certainly not among anyone I knew other than a single dealer at Manchester University in 1997, shout out Jodie and his incredible ability to shin all the way up lampposts even when battered) about BEEPERS and the terrible effect they were having on an entire generation. A useful reminder that moral panics are a constant, whatever the era.
  • The AI Chair: I think this is genuinely beautiful, and were I a less cack-handed non-craftsman I would totally try and do similar myself – it is ART. James Bridle asked The Machine to imagine a chair – and then to create a schematic and set of instructions for the building of said chair, which Bridle then went on to construct out of bits of wood, creating an artefact that’s oddly-uncanny and raises all sorts of interesting questions about the nature of labour and objects: “It should be noted that this chair is built on the stolen labour of everyone who’s ever put something on the internet (including many who passed centuries before the internet was invented). The energy use is not good. I didn’t make this with ChatGPT: I made it with a partial history of all previous chairs, and I held myself back from making it “better”. But it’s something to think with. I learned to make chairs from Enzo Mari, Donald Judd, my grandpa, YouTube. What the machine is good at is numbers, efficiency, tolerances (maybe). What can we do with that which is more interesting than putting people out of work? Which is more, genuinely, generative? Which is more interesting than more computers? Which, ultimately, builds agency rather than contributing to our general disempowerment us? That, at least, is what I mean by collaboration. We learn together.”
  • Plant-Based Foods: I don’t know if it’s the same where you are, but London’s corner shops and local minimarts currently seem to be labouring under an absolute glut of plant-based stock, stuff that has the distinct air of being bought in bulk in about 2020 when everyone was excited about Impossible Burgers and almond milk icecream – the freezer in my local has about five different brands of ‘hackney-made plant-based gelato’ (lol hackney you dreadful stereotypical cnuts!), all of which are under about three inches of permafrost and which are NEVER getting bought. This article is from a trade magazine about food development, and is SUCH an interesting look at why the plant-based foods market has slowed significantly, and which really is loads better than you think it is going to be (as well as being generally useful for anyone whose job it is to occasionally think about questions of MARKET PENETRATION and CONSUMER DEMAND).
  • Mario x Pareto: An EXCELLENT explainer, this, in which Antoine Mayoritz explains the pareto frontier, otherwise described as “a set of solutions that represents the best trade-off between all the objective functions”, using optimal kart design choices in MarioKart as his illustrative principal. If my economics classes had featured more videogame-based examples I might have retained some of it, chiz chiz.
  • The Story of Etak: This is a wonderful look back at a bit of tech that I had no idea ever existed – a VERY early version of an in-vehicle navigation system, called the Etak, which was launched in 1985(!!!!!) and which is a direct precursor of your current satnav. Honestly, I don’t drive and don’t really understand how any of this stuff works, but it was still super-interesting, and it’s lovely to see the throughline between this and the machine in your car today.
  • The Anarchist’s Tool Chest: No, it’s not what you think – instead, it’s a book (a short book, but a whole book nonetheless) written by one Christopher Schwartz which is designed to help anyone assemble a useful toolbox that will cover you in most eventualities. “This book is the result of my experiences with tools for the last 30 years, from the time I acquired my first coping saw at age 11 until the day I decided to sell off many of the tools I’d amassed as an adult. It is the tale of my sometimes-rocky relationship with my tools and how these hand-held pieces of iron, steel, brass and electrical wire have changed the way I approach my work and my life. And I hope that this story will help guide you in acquiring a set of tools that will stick with you for the rest of your life.” Now I can’t personally say that this has ANY interest for me whatsoever – I am about as likely to ‘get into woodwork’ as I am to ‘make it to 60’ – but I imagine that there might be a few of you who quite like the idea of ‘THE ESSENTIAL WOODWORKING TOOLKIT’ and reading a bit about working with and caring for tools. Anyway, in case that’s you, HERE YOU ARE! You’re welcome, really.
  • Breadcrumbs and Spoiled Milk: More interesting reporting in Vittles, this time about the way Romania approached the provision of basic food for schoolchildren in early-2000s and how this reflects particular local (and temporal) attitudes about society and welfare…less about food and more about social justice and the welfare state, this gave me an insight into a country I know shamefully little about.
  • Undersea Cable Repair: This is VERY LONG, and, yes, it’s about repairing undersea cables, but, equally, it is SO INTERESTING, and a nice reminder that despite all the talk of ‘THE CLOUD’ the actual reality of our digital infrastructure is literally hundreds of physical cables stretching for thousands of miles across the ocean bed, cables on which (and this really isn’t hyperbole) pretty much the entirety of what we like to call ‘modern civilisation’ rests. This explains the cables, how they came to be there, and how they’re maintained, and while I can’t imagine for a second that this is anything other than quite hard work (and LONELY, and boring) it also sort-of appealed to me as a late-life career pivot.
  • Where I Live: On the effect of geography of personality, and how the city one lives in can moderate one’s mood, behaviour, persona and sense of self – I felt this very particularly, and I think any of you who have family in other countries, or who have lived elsewhere for any extended period of time, will do too.
  • The Golden Age of Rap Producer Tags: This is, admittedly, a touch niche, but if you’ve ever thought ‘man, I really wish someone would do a deep dive investigation into the little sonic stings that hiphop producers use to tag their beats in a track’ then WOW do I have a present for you! Aside from anything else there are some GREAT tracks in here.
  • The Puzzle of Stalking: Stalking is very NOW thanks to the runaway success of Baby Reindeer on Netflix (I haven’t watched the show (obvs) but did see both the one-man performances that it’s based on back in the day, based on which I can recommend it unreservedly) – this is a really interesting piece of writing which seeks to explore why it is, specifically, that stalking is wrong, and interrogate exactly what harms are being visited on the…stalkee? It’s not, to be clear, in any way suggesting that stalking is OK – it’s more of a proper moral philosophical exploration of the ways in which it is not, and which of those can be said to be the supervening ‘harm’ being enacted on the victim (which, by the way, just made me think of Mark and his talk of ‘harms’ in the first essay here – honestly, do take a moment to consider the rigour of thinking being applied in this piece to that being applied by Zuckerberg to the whole ‘questions of AI safety and ethics’ thing and, well, despair slightly).
  • Beautiful Cricket: As previously discussed here in Curios, I simply don’t ‘get’ cricket – that said, like boxing, it’s a sport that often inspires some gorgeous writing, and this piece in the FT (thanks Alex for the tip), about the qualities that make a batsman’s strokes ‘beautiful’, is itself really rather lovely.
  • Voices of Mourning: Another glorious essay, this piece by Hannah Gold contrasts her reading of Robert Gluck’s memoir of love and grief and loss, ‘About Ed’, with the grief that assails us reading the news and just generally Being Alive, and turns the whole into a beautiful meditation on what grief is and what it is for (which is significantly less sad than you might think, I promise).
  • Pavel, Paris, Prague: A short story, about a past love affair. “I left New York for France in September 1968, a few months after les évènements de mai — the student riots, the barricaded cobblestone streets, the Molotov cocktails—and the end of a two-year love affair. The civil unrest in Paris still made the news but no longer the headlines. In a mood as gloomy as mine and a cityscape as grim as la Ville Lumière, I would easily fit in, dressed in black, sitting in sidewalk cafés, drinking endless cups of exprès, and smoking Gitanes. It was not to be.”
  • Tavi vs Taylor: HAVE YOU LISTENED TO IT YET?!?!? Ahem.  As the world, or at least a portion of it, spends the day scrying the tea leaves of Ms Swift’s latest release, have this frankly astonishing piece of writing by Tavi Gevinson, who you will remember is the former-child-fashion-blogger turned magazine impresario turned actress turned polymathic creator type person, who this week published this incredible essay about her, Taylor Swift and their relationship, both as fan/artist and, maybe, as friends. The piece is subtitled ‘A Satire’, and is part of that particular genre of autofiction where the relationship with What Really Happened is deliberately and tantalisingly ambiguous – more dedicated Swiftians will know already whether it’s in fact true that Tavi and Taylor have hung out irl, but to me the ‘is-this-straight-or-not?’ question that runs through the piece is PERFECT, and frames the rest of it (reflections on the relationship between artist and art, artist and muse and fan, the constructed nature of ‘Taylor Swift’ as a concept, growing up, being precocious, media and fame and and and and and) perfectly. Honestly, the first section of this is basically a detailed account of Gevinson’s relationship to the Swiftian canon and it is SO GOOD that I still kept reading. Really, truly superb, and I say that as someone who could not possibly give less of a fcuk about Ms Swift – this is imho a really impressive piece of work.
  • The Last Swinger: Our final longread is an OLD ONE – from GQ Magazine in 1996(!), when Tom Junod spent time hanging out with old Hollywood royalty Tony Christie. This came to me via Sam Diss’ newsletter, and I can’t really sell it to you better than he did to me: “It’s one of those stories you read and cringe — the awkward Hollywood set pieces, the That’s showbiz, bay-bee vernacular, the wish you had the bottle to go so out on a limb yourself, as writer or as subject matter, to live so fully, fruitfully, and fruitily. When I first read the piece it hit me like two Negronis to an empty stomach. The piece keeps you close to its bosom. It plays with your hair. You are ensconced in its little world. Away from magazine journalism or journalism at all, away from the notion of “having a real job” and into the world of Tony Curtis — warm, flawed, embarrassing, enigmatic, empathetic, pathetic, desperate, suave, sexy, shallow, and yet somehow — somehow — deep, meaningful.” This is one of the saddest things I have read in a long time, in many ways, but beautifully, perfectly so.

By Carolle Benitah

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