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Webcurios 18/08/23

Reading Time: 37 minutes

Oh wow, turns out that when I take a week off my fingers sort of forget how to work and my brain gets gummed up and basically this is all a LOT harder than it normally is; apologies in advance for any appreciable drops in quality (lol) that you notice compared to the usual standards.

Anyway, HI! I’m back! It was, I have to admit, genuinely nice to be back in Italy for a a few days, not least as I was able to remember what ‘fruit’ is like (it’s nice, turns out, we should try selling it in our shops, could be revolutionary), and it was also lovely attending Naive Yearly last week (honestly, such an interesting event for anyone who cares about ‘making interesting, small stuff on the web’ and I can’t recommend it enough for next year – don’t worry, I am desperately antisocial and won’t try and talk to you, so don’t let my potential presence put you off in any way), and now I am back in London and, well, it’s currently a bit less lovely and I rather wish I was still in Cosmopolitan Europe tbh.

Still, I have sought to distract myself from the fact that all indicators suggest a country desperately trying to return itself to the 1980s in every way possible by writing a newsletterblogtypething, so the least you could do is be grateful ffs.

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and you know you’ve missed me, stop lying to yourselves.

By Ruth Shively

WE COMMENCE THIS WEEK WITH A MIX OF GENUINELY GREAT SONGS FROM THE PAST 60-ODD YEARS BY LIVERPUDLIAN ARTIST-POET-TYPE-PERSON ROY! 

THE SECTION WHICH IS HONESTLY FINDING IT QUITE HARD TO BE BACK IN ENGLAND AFTER SPENDING A MERE 72H IN A COUNTRY IN WHICH STUFF ACTUALLY WORKS AND WHERE PEOPLE SEEM GENERALLY LIKE THEY ARE NOT ON THE VERGE OF BURSTING INTO TEARS AT A MOMENT’S NOTICE, PT.1:  

  • Countercloud: We begin this week with something QUITE SERIOUS – or, at least, something that vaguely waves in the direction of QUITE SERIOUS implications. You may have heard that there are one or two elections coming up next year – elections which, it seems fair to say, will probably set a new standard for mad febrility, unpleasant campaigning and obsessive, irrational partisanship – and you may also be aware of this thing called ‘AI’ that people have been getting excited about of late…well, Countercloud is a (very bare-bones, admittedly – the public-facing part of this amounts to nothing more than a video so far) proof-of-concept bit of coding/hackery that outlines just one of the potential ways in which politics and The Machine might collide in the coming year or so to INTERESTING EFFECT. Countercloud is a project set up by a pseudonymous infosec person, and basically goes like this – 1) AI goes out and scrapes the web for new news stories around a certain theme or topic; 2) AI determines which articles to respond to based on a degree of pre-training around what is ‘interesting’; 3) AI writes a counter-article to a specific piece of news, attributes it to a fake journalist profile, and then posts it to the CounterCloud website along with AI-generated images and sound clips, and fake comments by fake readers to create the illusion of a real audience; 4) AI goes to Twitter, searches for accounts and tweets that are relevant to the article that’s just been written, and then posts links to the AI-generated articles, followed by posts that look like user commentary, conspiracy theories, and even hate speech. See? You don’t even need people anymore! Do you remember all those stories about the Russian Internet Research Agency a few years back? CAN YOU IMAGINE!?! Now before we all start running in circles waving our pants over our heads and scream-crying about THE DEATH OF TRUTH AND DEMOCRACY, it’s important to bear in mind that this *IS* just a demo and it *IS* only working in a controlled environment, and there’s nothing to suggest that the created content is super-convincing or likely to CHANGE HEARTS AND MINDS…but, then again, it’s quite mind-boggling that this is already something that could in theory happen tomorrow, and that, to continue labouring a point, THIS IS THE WORST THAT THIS STUFF IS EVER GOING TO BE. There is going to be some reasonable money to be made in the next 12 months for any organisation able to do some ‘digital political literacy education’ work, should any of you feel like chasing down some public dollar – the rest of us might just want to brace for some genuinely stupid politics in 2024 and beyond.
  • Text Jesus: A few short months after ‘Chat With The Koran’ (I may be misremembering the exact title, but it was basically that), and riding the coat-tails of Twitch’s AI Jesus (I just checked in with AI Jesus, btw, and he’s currently dispensing spiritual counsel about battered fish (no, really), so that’s nice), comes the inevitable, long-awaited CHAT WITH JESUS – a GPT-based interface, trained on the Bible and through which you’ll be able to ask the Risen Christ anything you fancy (it’s…unclear whether or not you can jailbreak Jesus into offering smiting advice, but I encourage you to try). Not only can you access Jiminy Christmas via a single, simple app interface – according to the screenshots on the page, premium users can avail themselves of a whole pantheon of heavenly counsel, ranging from Mary, Joseph (I don’t, based on my admittedly-fuzzy recollections of my pseudo-Catholic upbringing, recall Joseph actually having that much of a place in the Bible beyond his general status as ‘helpful cuckold’, but perhaps I’m misremembering here) and the disciples, and it includes both the New AND Old Testaments (I wonder how it reconciles the…somewhat differing styles of Godliness outlined in each?), and the bottom of the page contains the single greatest one-line review you could hope for, from an anonymous user: “it helps with a lot of things”. WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR? Oh, and in case this writeup felt too benign and sunnily-optimistic, let me once again remind you of the imminent future in which EVERYONE HAS ONE OF THESE BUT YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT FLAVOUR. Is my interlocutor being guided by a digital representation of a benign and peaceful deity, or the in-phone embodiment of Jeffrey Dahmer? FCUK AROUND AND FIND OUT!
  • AI Twins: I presume that this has sprung up in response to the recent wave of Twitch streamers who’ve created AI versions of themselves (you will doubtless recall the Dutch stream kiddy who I featured the other week who’s basically outsourced their job to the CG version of themselves – that, basically) – now YOU TOO can create your very own AI version of yourself (or at least the bits of yourself that can be reduced to a predictive text-like algorithm and represented via what looks, from the sign-up page at least, an off-brand MeMoji. It’s unclear exactly how this is going to work – it’s a waitlist signup page so far rather than anything more substantive – but the ‘conversation’ between an influencer’s AI avatar and their ‘fan’ presented on the homepage suggests that you’ll basically train it on your content and it will basically create a semi-autonomous digital puppet that you can monetise in various ways (premium chat for your superfans on a pay-per-message basis, that sort of thing). Fandom in 2023: spending several hundred quid on Taylor Swift tickets and spending several hundred more on merch; fandom in 2025: spending hundreds of quid on a premium-rate messaging service so you can further indulge your parasocial relationship with the digital puppet of your favourite influencer. PROGRESS OF SORTS! BONUS CONTENT: this is an interesting little article about what it might end up being like when we’re able to create ‘copies’ our ourselves and digitally-outsource bits of our personalities (‘weird’, mainly).
  • AI Town: You will of course recall with absolute clarity a link from a few months ago, dumped in the longreads section, which described an experiment by MIT in which they created a digital ‘town’ with AI agents who ‘lived’ and ‘talked’ and generally lived ‘lives’ within the simulation…well, this is that but live and in your browser, so you can peer into the sandbox and see what these little digital citizens are doing and, honestly, I could quite easily sack this whole newsletter thing off right here and quite happily just spend the next few hours variously clicking on the different citizens wandering around the central vegetable patch and seeing what is going on in their heads. Right now, Alice (the village’s resident conspiracy theorist, from what I can tell) is chatting to Bob (he likes trees, seemingly) about how he should really listen for the trees SECRET WHISPERS, while Kurt has been avoiding conversation with Lucky because (to quote Kurt), he’s been ‘going through some personal stuff lately’ (although he doesn’t seem inclined to give details; maybe Lucky will press him for answers)…yes, ok, fine, this is not exactly a compelling narrative that’s being built out here (it’s not ‘The Archers’, is what I’m saying) but I can’t help but be charmed at the digital doll’s house and the idea that this is JUST THE START and that this sort of model creation (environment and personalities and interactions) will become easier to set up and play with…this honestly feels really exciting, in a ‘yes, ok, fine, it’s rubbish NOW, but you can see the possibilities, right? RIGHT?’ sort of way. Also it affords me the opportunity to make what is almost certainly the 300th reference to ‘Little Computer People’ in the past couple of years of writing this fcuker.
  • Beard Style AI: I am not including this website because I think it is good; I am instead including it because I wish each and every one of you – each and every one of US! – the confidence of the person who set up this website which lets you upload an image of yourself and which will use THE MAGIC OF AI to return to you a selection of allegedly high-quality pictures in which you will appear with a selection of luxuriant and well-coiffed beard styles, ALL FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF £10! In fairness the service does promise to send you ‘hundreds’ of pictures, so perhaps this is a worthwhile investment for someone wishing to set up a selection of alluring profiles on, I don’t know, findmeabeardedmanwhoisntintopaleo.com or Scruff or whatever your preferred matchmaking platform might be. Still, £10! Lol!
  • The Bulwer Lytton Prize: After the Lyttle Lytton earlier this year comes the latest celebration of full-length, full-fat, imaginary awful prose in the shape of the 2023 Bulwer Lytton contest, in which (as you doubtless know by now, but let me refresh your memory) contestants are challenged to “compose opening sentences to the worst of all possible novels.”. You know the drill by now: click the link and marvel at the artistry of the collected openers submitted by a selection of twisted minds, and glory in the beauty of the prose. Every single one of the entries here collected is a ‘winner’, but my personal pick is this gem: “Jonathon Emerick’s obsession with cinema meant he constantly lived his life mimicking the movies he studied, so on this Sunday he dramatically prepared a rich elaborate foodie meal like Jon Favreau in Chef, invited his friends to dine with abandon like Babette’s Feast, and of course after dinner, fed the leftovers purposefully and firmly into the disposal as if he was Peter Stormare feeding Steve Buscemi into a Fargo woodchipper.” Beautiful, and I would read the fcuk out of the rest of that.
  • TextFX: Another gorgeous bit of experimental webwork with a dash of added AI from the Google Arts and Culture Labs – this time letting you play around with words, offering users a selection of tools which harness generative AI and the lyrical brain of Lupe Fiasco. The site was “designed to help rappers, writers, and wordsmiths expand their process. It was created in collaboration with Lupe Fiasco, drawing inspiration from the lyrical and linguistic techniques he has developed throughout his career…TextFX consists of 10 tools, each is designed to explore creative possibilities with text and language.” I have had a play around with these and they are SO interesting, and…not-terrible, in their own way – and there’s something intellectually fascinating about spelunking around in latent space like this (if you see what I mean, which, fine, I appreciate you may not). You can use this to do LOADS of different things with words – find similes to anything you feed it, make your text…odder and more unexpected, find alliterative words, find ‘intersections’ between words and concepts…my ACTUAL POET FRIEND Rishi said that this looked ‘not bad and maybe even useful’, or words to that effect, and I can think of no higher endorsement than that tbh. Regardless, though, of your propensity to pome, this is a lot of fun for anyone who enjoys words and messing about with them.
  • Singularity: “We have a process that pushes the boundaries of human experience. FEED THE SINGULARITY”, burbles this website, inviting you into its SHINY WORLD in which you scroll and click (or at least try to – the interface is occasionally a *bit* shonky) and IMMERSE YOURSELF in the tripartite values of UNIFIED, CURIOUS and FEARLESS…I am 100% certain that you won’t be able to guess what this is selling you until you get  to the end, and even then you’ll be largely baffled as to what the everliving fcuk is going on – without wishing to ruin the surprise here, I would like every single one of you working in the service industries to bookmark this for the next time your business is contemplating a website refresh because, honestly, it is SOMETHING ELSE. I applaud the madness behind it, but would…question taking consultancy advice from anyone who signed off on this copy.
  • Internet Onion: This is a repeat appearance for this project, which I featured last year and which is back with ALL NEW CONTENT in 2023 – per last time, “The “internet onion” is a perennial website anthology about the possibility of love online. Launching late each summer, THE LIFE AND DEATH OF AN INTERNET ONION is readable for 5 weeks — a typical shelf life of a non-refrigerated onion. As its title suggests, it will live and then start to decay, resulting in a mostly dead onion by the end of summer.” Scroll or click through each layer of the ‘onion’, with different content on each layer which takes you ‘deeper’ into the concept being discussed by the various artists and writers contributing to the project – this year’s ‘onion’ is about ‘love’, specifically “the like/heart button as a flattening affordance of giving affirmation and love. The text-editor provides a much more expressive input. But even people who can’t communicate well because of language barriers can express love through actions, like cooking food. Can we create other “love inputs” that might allow us to “reach across the chasm of a seamless signal”? What is expressing “real” love or affirmation about? Is it about effort, thoughtfulness, generosity, something else? What might a thoughtful or generous interface feel or behave like?” Gorgeous.
  • AI Simulations: Bored? WHY FFS ONLY BORING PEOPLE GET BORED. Still, if YOU are such a ‘boring person’ then you might find some momentary distraction in this selection of GPT-powered scenarios in which YOU are tasked with coping in a very specific situation – as an FBI hostage negotiator, for example, or a military strategist, or, er, as someone who is trying to leg it from a restaurant without paying. As I think I’ve previously mentioned, there’s something rather fun about the idea of using GPT (other LLMs are, of course, available) as sandboxes or DMs, and there’s a wide enough range of scenarios here to keep you occupied for an hour or so inbetween spreadsheets and bouts of sobbing.
  • Blocklayer: I am, I think, the least-practical man I know; while my friends have almost all to an extent embraced the multifarious joys of DIY and home improvement, and seemingly every single one of my contemporaries owns a toolbox and, on occasion, several copies of the Screwfix catalogue, I remain stubbornly incapable of doing anything more than rewiring plugs or, if pressed, painting walls (LOOK I HAVE LIMITED TIME THE INTERNET DOESN’T READ ITSELF FFS) – if, though, you are one of those people for whom the word ‘spackling’ holds no fear, or for whom the prospect of spending several days with plaster dust in your wrinkles and nails in your mouth and for whom the phrase “load-bearing wall” is cause for mild-excitement rather than white-knuckled terror then WOW will you enjoy this site, which basically lets you specify exactly what you want to build (sheds! Stairs! Fences! ACTUAL HOUSES!) and will spit out in return a range of information about lengths and cuts and quantities and all the sorts of detail you’ll need to actually go about MAKING A THING! You now have no excuse not to start building the extension, is what I’m saying here.
  • The Quest of Evolution: There’s something almost…strange about coming across NFT/web3 projects in the wild in 2023, like you’ve stumbled upon the last living outpost of a tribe once feared and renowned but now struggling to survive in a new and modern world which no longer makes sense to it. So it is with THE QUEST FOR EVOLUTION (the title isn’t capitalised, but it feels like it ought to be), which is a VERY shiny site (there’s obviously some real money somewhere behind this, though fcuk knows whose, or how, or why) which claims that it is THE HOME OF CRYPTO NOVELS (again, my caps – also, what the fcuk is a ‘crypto novel’, and what makes you think that anyone wants such a thing?)! The explanation on the site is the usual mix of grandiose claims (REINVENTING THE NOVEL) and incomprehensible word mulch such as “We believe that existing paradigms of collaboration for creatives are too rigid and centralised, and want to re-imagine what it is to augment value through collaboration and common ownership. Creators that use our platform will be rewarded with both royalties and ownership, made possible by blockchain and smart contracts with in-built royalty splitters and our native $QEV token…O
  • ur mission is to induce and collect artistic collaborations to create Intellectual Property Rights (IPRs) commodities which have monetisation value to third party licensors in large industries like film, gaming, the metaverse, merchandise and publishing. We want to offer a gamified framework that incentivises people around the world to be part of multimedia masterpieces, rewarding them fairly for their creativity (Intellectual Property), while actively supporting social causes.” – God, it really makes the soul SING, doesn’t it? A look at the ‘novels’ available on the site suggests that there’s not been HUGE takeup here, and while the works might well be canonical masterpieces that will one day be spoken of in the same breath as works by Woolf and Kafka and Austen I am not attempting to buy a fcuking token to buy a fractional stake in one to find out. Baffling – but, again, I would love to know where the money here is coming from as the site does not look cheap.
  • Random Garbage: Ryan Broderick’s Garbage Day newsletter really is one of the best resources currently available for anyone seeking to make any sort of sense of the current lumpy morass of ‘internet’ ‘culture’ (I don’t know why, but neither of those words, despite being perfectly adequate descriptors, really seem to quite…fit anymore, but I can’t for the life of me conceive of better terminology at 827am on a Friday morning and so I’ll just have to keep using them) – Ryan has finally done something I have been meaning to do with Curios for years but which I have always been far too lazy and disorganised to actually get round to organising, to whit creating a sort of ‘I’m Feeling Lucky’ button for all the links he’s ever featured in his newsletter. Click the link, hit the button and get some GREAT OLD MEMETIC CONTENT from the past 3-4 years, spoonfed to you from the Garbage Day archives. The stuff Ryan writes about means that this tends more towards the ‘funny/weird video/tiktok’ end of the spectrum rather than ‘cool and interesting links’, but as a way of getting a random shot of internet culture injected right into your veins then it’s pretty much perfect.

By Alex Schaefer

NEXT UP HAVE WHAT I CAN ONLY CALL ‘SOME CRUNCHY AND ANGULAR BEATS’ (FOR WHICH DESCRIPTION I CAN ONLY APOLOGISE) BROUGHT TO YOU BY AUTECHRE! 

THE SECTION WHICH IS HONESTLY FINDING IT QUITE HARD TO BE BACK IN ENGLAND AFTER SPENDING A MERE 72H IN A COUNTRY IN WHICH STUFF ACTUALLY WORKS AND WHERE PEOPLE SEEM GENERALLY LIKE THEY ARE NOT ON THE VERGE OF BURSTING INTO TEARS AT A MOMENT’S NOTICE, PT.2:  

  • The Supermind Ideator: I genuinely adore the name of this project, an little experiment into AI and concept development by MIT, which puts me in mind of the supercomputers from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (you may be the sort of person fortunate enough not to have a small part of their brain taken up by the fact that one of the computers which came after Deep Thought in the HHG2 mythos was ‘The Milliard Gargantubrain’ but, well, I am less lucky, sadly) – it’s not QUITE that ambitious in scope, I don’t think, but you can always try asking it the answer to ‘life, the universe and everything’ and seeing what happens. The Supermind Ideator (seriously, my internal voice is incapable of saying that without some Brian Blessed-style vibrato) is an intriguing beta product (you need to sign up for access, but it seems to be granted quickly and indiscriminately) which is designed to help you break problems down into sub-questions – you feed it a question you want to explore, or a problem you want to solve, and The Machine will do various sub-tasks, like breaking the problem down into sub-questions, say, or spinning up analogies for the problem, or the larger problems that your problem is a subset of…basically a bunch of early-stage critical thinking work which might be helpful in terms of recontextualising or reframing an initial question in a way that allows for better, deeper or smarter investigation. This is, I think, hugely interesting, and based on a cursory play this week could be genuinely useful as an early-stage tool when considering questions of planning and strategy (or just if you want a really high-level thinking companion to help you get out of Tony’s party tomorrow night).
  • Europeana: OH GOD EUROPE HOW I MISS YOU AND YOUR SHONKY, CHARMLESS PUBLIC SECTOR WEBSITES FOR EU-FUNDED PROJECTS! No, really, I genuinely mean that – there’s something so joyless and dry about the way in which seemingly all digital things that the European Union has a hand in are presented which, perversely, I find really pleasing and which I now find myself nostalgic for in the post-Brexit horrorshow in which the UK now exists. Anyway, pathetic FBPE-style nostalgia aside, this is a GREAT resource – “The Europeana website provides cultural heritage enthusiasts, professionals, teachers, and researchers with access to Europe’s digital cultural heritage. Why? To inspire and inform fresh perspectives and open conversations about our history and culture. To share and enjoy our rich cultural heritage. To use it to create new things. We give you access to millions of items from providing institutions across Europe. Discover artworks, books, music, and videos on art, newspapers, archaeology, fashion, science, sport, and much more.” SO MUCH HISTORY! SO MUCH ART! SO MUCH FOOTAGE! Honestly, even if you can’t think of any reason why you might have need of footage of Dutch people playing street hockey in 1934 you should be glad that this archive exists – I promise you that there will be at least one thing that’s peculiarly-interesting in every search you do, so just chuck in some random keywords and see where you end up.
  • Obaa Life: Yes, ok, fine, this is an NFT project, but it’s a genuinely-aesthetically-interesting one, and as such I feel justified in including it – from what I can tell (which, admittedly, isn’t a HUGE amount – I do wonder whether the whole NFT thing might have crashed and burned less spectacularly were it not for the fact that the language around it has been, and continues to be, so utterly cnuty and incomprehensible, although I suppose one might argue that said cnutiness and incomprehensibility is exactly befitting for a movement built on snake oil and lies) this is mint in which each ‘piece’ is a digital representation of some sort of monocellular organism, rendered in digital 3d; there’s some sort of guff about how “obaa is a collective organism: a dividual. she embodies multiplicity in the way she divides, merges, and harbors other beings. her translucent membrane serves as a lens, distorting and refracting creatures and microplastics as she engulfs them and spits them out.  obaa unfolds on multiple time scales, on the order of milliseconds and hundreds of years. each obaa is synced to a real world timezone, and changes throughout the day. every organism in obaa is mortal, with lifespans in the range of months to years” but, honestly, give a fcuk, I just really like the way in which the little…blobs? are rendered tbh.
  • Stanza: I do love me a ‘preposterous business model that is never, ever going to work’ website, and Stanza is very much an ur-example of such a thing – would YOU pay £2.50 a month (admittedly not a high bar, fine, but just wait til you hear what you’re paying FOR) to have a digital assistant automatically put new episodes of TV shows that it thinks you might be into into your calendar so that you can rest assured you will NEVER MISS A NEW BIT OF CONTENT? Not only that, but it will do the same for televised sports games…er, that’s it actually, sorry. So, £2.50 a month, then? Honestly, I think I sort of admire the chutzpah here but, equally, who thought this was a viable idea? I would LOVE to see the business plan here, and the estimated market value – “well, everyone watches TV, and everyone likes certain shows, and everyone hates missing the shows they like…so yeah, I reckon the potential market is somewhere in the region of ~5bn people, so that’s a year 5 revenue projection of £130bn annually, yeah; you in?”. NB – based on my appalling track record of ‘picking winners’ in business, politics and indeed wider society over the past decade or so, we can be confident that you will all be signed up to Stanza by 2030 and I will be w4nking for pennies on a street corner somewhere.
  • Dead Parents What Now?: This is a GREAT idea – but its US-centricity made me think that there has to be an angle here in other countries, or indeed for a central repository of ‘deadmumanddad’ info worldwide. Dead Parents What Now? (such a good url too) is a site whose sole purpose is to offer helpful, practical advice on what you have to do when your parent or parents die – who do you call? What do you have to do about finances? What’s the best way to keep the dealers/debt collectors off your case? Where to divest yourself of the three kilos of meth that you unexpectedly discovered in the shed? ALL THIS AND MORE! I just finished wrapping up my mum’s affairs in Rome, a mere 13 months after she shuffled off this mortal coil, and FCUK ME was that a long and slightly-baffling and entirely-frustrating experience; I can’t imagine it’s ever fun, and so a simple, one-stop-destination for all your deadmumanddad needs is a genuinely smart concept which I am slightly amazed no bank/insurer has done a content-led campaign around (fun, parental death-related TikToks! What’s not to love? God, I really am borderline unemployable these days, aren’t I?).
  • Face Studio: Generate fake AI faces on-demand – a bit like thispersondoesnotexist, except you can specify the gender, age and ethnicity of the faces you’d like the machine to spit out and which therefore can be used to populate an entire fake corporate website with a credibly diverse and not-necessarily-beautiful (seriously, try generating ‘white men in their 40s’ and you get some surprisingly non-model-like results, it’s almost refreshing) cast of spoofed employees.
  • The Week: On the one hand, this is sort-of an interesting idea; on the other, I think I would personally rather grate my shins rather than do anything of the sort, but I appreciate that there are people reading this whose approach to life might be more collaborative and hopeful than mine and so I share it in the spirit of ‘you do you (but, to repeat, I would literally rather die). The Week is a participatory group experience designed to facilitate thinking about and discussion around the climate emergency (I don’t like the phrase ‘the climate emergency’, turns out; I might see if ‘the planetary clusterfcuk’ catches on by way of alternative) – per the site, “Recently, it’s been hard not to notice how fast the climate is changing. Experts say it will get worse really rapidly. The Week is for those of us who want to know how this will affect us, in the next 10, 20 or 30 years and what we can do about it. Too often, this issue feels abstract and overwhelming. The Week is a way to engage this issue, for real, with our friends, family or colleagues. It doesn’t tell us what to do, but empowers us to make up our own minds. So that we can say down the line: I knew what I needed to know, I did what I need to do and I have no regrets…You get together 3 times, during a week (hence “The Week”). Every time you watch a 1 hour documentary film episode. And then the heart of the experience:  a guided conversation for 30 minutes (or more if you want) to make sense of it all.” So, basically, apocalypto book club! The site suggests you can do this with friends, family or colleagues – so if your idea of a good time is spending three nights a week watching something that explains how everything is banjaxed and then additional supplementary time having heartfelt conversations with other people about what the fcuk, exactly, we’re meant to do about it, then, well GET INVOLVED! I’ll be elsewhere, drinking to forget.
  • Roggle: A very simple ‘game’ which I have to admit to playing far more of this week than I expected (or, frankly, than I can justify) – Roggle asks you to do one thing and one thing only: GUESS THE SEARCH TERMS USED TO GET THE RESULTS SHOWN ON SCREEN! I appreciate that for most of you this will likely sound as thrilling as watching paint dry – maybe less so – but if you’re anything like me and have therefore based a significant part of your personal and professional self-worth over the past couple of decades on being marginally less shi1t at Google than anyone else you know then you too will ADORE this.
  • The Snellings Museum: Oh YES – this is practically perfect, and a labour of love, and the sort of thing that makes me want to point at big brands with HISTORY and HERITAGE and say “LOOK YOU LAZY FCUKS IF LOVELY SNELLINGS CAN DO AN ARCHIVE THEN YOU CAN TOO FFS!” Roy Snelling was a Norfolk man who set up a shop selling televisions in the area in the mid-20th Century – Snellings still exists as a business, but the Snellings Museum is a separate concern, a digital recreation of Roy’s archive of television kit and memorabilia which has been in storage since 2016 but which is faithfully reproduced here through photos of old stereo and hifi and TV equipment, all of it looking like it smells slightly of burning dust and the 1970s and, honestly, you will probably appreciate this more if you’ve a deep and abiding love for Cathode Ray Tube-based devices from 100 years ago but, regardless, it’s hard not to be charmed by both Roy’s story and the existence of the museum.
  • The Sri Chinmoy Marathon: Do you think you’re HARD? Do you eat 10ks for breakfast? Do standard marathons no longer hold any joy for you? Do you look at people contemplating a sub 3h20 time for a single 26 mile track as, frankly, pathetic amateurs? No, of course you don’t, literally noone who fits that profile would ever conceive of sitting reading 8,000 words about ‘stuff on the internet’ when they could instead be doing their knees serious, tarmac-related damage! Still, if you happen to know anyone who is feeling all Alexander-ish about the world of distance running (no more worlds left to conquer, etc) then you might want to point them at this race, which starts in 12 days in Queens, NYC, and which takes place over a 52 day (yes, that’s right) stretch around a single block, with each participant looking do do an average of nearly 60 miles a day (SIXTY MILES A FCUKING DAY FFS) until they’ve done the full route of just under 5000k. You have 12 days to train and get yourselves to NYC – please, readers of Curios, one of you prove me wrong about your general fitness and physical prowess! But, er, don’t die! Or, if you do, please don’t hold me responsible.
  • The League of Pigs: A YouTube channel featuring pigs, racing. The pigs are small, they are nimble, and the races are…significantly more compelling than you might expect them to be. No word from the organisers whether the threat of the loser being turned into sausages is what compels them to such speeds, but let’s hope not and just enjoy the spectacle.
  • Retroflix: This is the latest in a long line of ‘sites that exist to give you a single portal via which to watch a whole bunch of old, out-of-copyright films from The Past’ (see also VoleFlix), Retroflix has a decent-looking selection which, based on a cursory examination, is a little lighter on ‘mad scifi and horror schlock’ and a bit heavier on ‘sub-Hitchcockian 50s thrillers’, and which might be pleasing for any of you looking to hide from modernity for a while via the medium of forgotten cinema.
  • Tote Design: You might think that the website for a webdesign company would best be served by demonstrating the sort of clean, shiny, functional UX/UI that said company is capable of, and that it would probably make sense for it to present a clear sense of ‘what the agency has done’ and ‘how to get in touch with it should you want to book a commission’ – but you would be WRONG, as the correct sort of website is in fact exactly like this one, by Japanese design shop Tote Design, which is possibly the most-confusing and yet most-enjoyable examples of ‘hang on, no, sorry, wtf?’ webwork I have seen in ages and which is even better for the fact that it’s meant to be a shopfront.
  • Insects: I don’t know who any of you are (oh, ok, fine, I know who a handful of you are, but I like to think that there are some of you who I don’t know, whose lives and hopes and dreams remain a mystery to me and who as such exist as nothing other than orbs of pure digital potential in my mind) and as such I have NO IDEA what some of you might be compelled to make with this MASSIVE dataset of a million or so high-resolution, annotated images of insects, but I hope that it is something odd. If nothing else there is no excuse for you not using pictures of random beetles on your next website’s 404 pages.
  • Bandit: On the one hand, this might be a great idea; on the other, I have never been in a band (amazing that someone with my ELECTRIC PERSONAL MAGNETISM and uncanny ability to reach Grade 4 classical guitar wasn’t snapped up for the ‘charismatic frontman’ role when I was in my teens, really) and so I have no clue whether this app, which I have mentally described as ‘Tinder/Grindr for musicians’, is the sort of thing that might appeal to bandmates seeking the final, triangle-playing component in their world-beating skiffle covers outfit. Musicians sign up, complete their profile with their instruments, styles and location and whatever examples of their skills their care to share, and those seeking musos can scroll and swipe to their heart’s content. I guess this is simply a modern equivalent of those old ‘four piece seeks drummer (must be able to count)’ classifieds from the NME 50 years ago, so maybe THIS is the way you’ll find your musical soulmate.
  • Sprites From Old Fighting Games: A GDrive containing collections of sprites from old 16-bit fighting games (think Final Fight, that sort of thing) – this came to me via Daniel Benneworth-Gray, who rightly pointed out that the folder full of ‘character on fire’ models would make a genuinely awesome design for a silk scarf, should any designers be reading this (er, designers with access to a silkscreen printing setup, specifically).
  • Kiezcolours: Oh this is GREAT! Kiezcolours is a website which lets you select any area of Berlin on a map and which creates a small colour-based postcard for you based on the land usage of the area you’ve chosen – so the colours on your personal postcard, and the sizes of each colour field, will reflect whether the area you’ve selected contains more residential land, or parkland, or water, or whatever, and as such you can create a very personal little graphic that reflects the character of your neighbourhood. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH and immediately got to thinking about how you might tweak this for London – number of chicken shops in a certain area, perhaps, or the tube lines that run through it…honestly, this is such a beautiful idea from concept to mechanic to execution, and I adore it.
  • Yarn: Via the lovely Lee Randall comes this super little site – type in any word or phrase and it will search an incredible archive of video for clips containing the terms you specified. This feels OLD, but it was new to me and it’s honestly quite magical – I just typed in ‘I wish I was dead’ on a whim, and I got a quite incredible clip of a man seemingly being beaten to death with a very large, very floppy, very heavy-looking rubber pen1s, which frankly is all the reason I need to recommend this pretty much unreservedly.
  • New Word Order: An excellent game by Monkeon – your job here is to guess which of the three words or phrases or terms was used first, then second, then most recently. Compelling and surprising and frustrating in equal measure, my main takeaway from this is that many neologisms aren’t in fact as new as I thought (chiz chiz).
  • LCD Please: “Papers, Please” is rightly-regarded as one of the best ‘games as art and political commentary’ pieces of the past decade or so – the game, if you’re not familiar with it, tells a series of poignant stories through the medium of you as the player processing people through the immigration and asylum system – and this anniversary edition reimagines it as an LCD Game And Watch title from the 1980s. The gameplay is necessarily simplified and streamlined, but it doesn’t lessen the impact of its message, and the recreation of the style and interface of the games its aping will be a Proustian moment for anyone who grew up in the 80s.
  • How Many Cities Can You Name?: British cities, to be precise. That’s it. Name cities. You may not think that this sounds hugely compelling, and you’d probably be right, but despite that fact I have been stuck on 29 for ages and am now basically compelled to keep staring at this until I can think of a 30th (I am so, so embarrassingly bad at geography).
  • The Uncolouring Book: Via last week’s b3ta, a lovely toy for the more visually-creative among you (this basically makes me feel like some sort of untermensch, but I appreciate that there are those of you for whom ‘the visual’ is a less confusing and terrifying concept and who will therefore probably enjoy this a lot more than I did) – The Uncolouring Book is a lovely little idea, which invites you to draw the lines around the colours (the reverse of a colouring book, DO YOU SEE?!?!) to create images – you get a splotch of colour or two, a rough prompt and some simple line-drawing tools to draw what you see; it’s like looking for shapes in clouds really (yes, I am sh1t at that too, why do you ask), and I think you might enjoy it.
  • Clone-A-Lisa: Matt Round has done it again – can YOU create a passable clone of the Mona Lisa in just a minute? TRY IT AND SEE! This is very fun, despite how aggressively-sh1t I am at it.
  • Wip3out In Your Browser: Wip3out was the game that made games cool. I don’t care what you say – prior to the PlayStation, and Sony’s insanely-aggressive marketing campaign that saw consoles fitted with copies of this game installed in the backrooms of actual nightclubs so that people boxed off their t1ts on pills could deal with those moments when it all ‘got a bit too much’ after the third dove and cling onto the controller while they attempted to process the pixels breaking across their field of vision, videogames were so uncool that you’d rarely find anyone admitting to actually enjoying them; after Wip3out, everything changed. People would spend 5 hours at the ‘afterparty’ (lol such a highfaluting name for something that literally means ‘sharing space with whichever dreadful people still have drugs and energy at 5am) entranced by the speed and the visuals and the soundtrack (the music here still fcuking BANGS, by the way) and it basically created the aesthetic for a specific type of ‘cool’ for a few years in the mid-90s (and made a whole generation of people, now in their 40s and 50s, fetishise the work of The Designer’s Republic to a degree that was probably unhealthy on reflection), and this is THE WHOLE GAME PLAYABLE IN YOUR BROWSER! Honestly, this is FCUKING AMAZING (and hard, so so so hard, especially if you don’t have a controller) and if you are Of A Certain Age then there’s a strong possibility you’ll just want to lock yourself in a room for 36h with this and a bag of questionable tablets engarved with various poorly-rendered designs. DRINK WATER (but not too much).

By Tania Font

I TEND NOT TO LIKE THE TERM ‘AMBIENT’ BUT I CAN’T THINK OF A BETTER ONE FOR THIS MIX WHICH IS BY DIMA SAFRONOV AND IS NOT ONLY GREAT AND SLOOOW AND VERY CHILLED BUT ALSO HAS THE INCREDIBLE TITLE ‘MIX TO LOWER THE FOAM IN A GLASS OF BEER’!

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

  • Identifying Cars in Posts: Send this anonymous person an image of a mystery vehicle from a social media post and they will, seemingly unerringly, tell you what sort of vehicle it is. I mean, for all I know they could be making this sh1t up – I am in no position to differentiate between a Toyota Camry and a Dodge Suppository (I am, as you may have guessed, right up at the edge of the limits of my knowledge of vehicular models here), but noone seems to be screaming ‘LIAR’ at them and so we shall just assume that they’re a preturnaturally talented car identifier.

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • Loved Orleer: On the one hand, the advances being made in AI-generated video are coming thick and fast, and the latest versions of Runway let you produce some pretty-impressive stuff with a bit of work; on the other, this Insta account posting machine-created movies is fcuking HORRIBLE and as such I recommend it unreservedly.
  • Tada Gaku: Glorious animations in watercolour – and other styles, if you scroll back a bit – done with a combination of techniques and demonstrating a beautiful eye for style and composition

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

  • LLMs and How They Work: Yes, I know, AI IS BORING AND YOU DON’T WANT TO READ ANY MORE ABOUT IT! You ought, however, to have learned by now that Web Curios contains a tedious strain of didacticism which means that I don’t care what you want to read and instead will continue to present the stuff that I think is useful and important until you either get worn down and exhaustedly concede defeat or until the point at which I alienate my final reader and finally reach the apogee of the newsletter writer’s experience (specifically, a newsletter with no subscribers, a sort of zen state of publishing which I seem to have been working towards for years) – and so, I present to you a really good explanation, delivered simply and helpfully in language that anyone can understand, of what LLMs are and how they work, by Simon Willison. I promise you that knowing a bit about how these things function is REALLY useful, not least in terms of your ability to distinguish between what they might be useful for and what they definitely are not useful for (this week I read something written by someone on LinkedIn – and yes, I know, but someone else sent it to me for comment, it’s not like I hang out on there I promise – which ran “by focusing on the mundane tasks that can be taken off our plates by AI, the IR profession stands to miss out on the huge opportunity AI provides to elevate what we do. No, AI can’t replace the “Relations” element of Investor Relations (thankfully – that’s the best bit!), but it can do things that an IR team of 1, 2 or even 20 will never be able to do.”, and it struck me as exactly the sort of blandly-moronic, generalistic pronouncement that someone who didn’t have the first fcuking clue how this sort of stuff works would make; don’t be that person, basically).
  • What AI Teaches Us About Good Writing: The unwritten second half to this article’s title being ‘…because it produces so much terrible, terrible prose’; this is a very good article in Noema Magazine by Laura Hartenburger in which she explores what it is that makes writing ‘good’, and the extent to which those assessments may need to be rethought based on what LLMs are ‘good’ at, and the extent to which that ought to make us reconsider where the value in prose lies; in particular (and I know that I’ve touched on this before over the past year or so) I have an increasing belief that the rise of LLM copy will do a gentle (and timely) job to maybe undermine the fetishisation of ‘clean, simple, monosyllabic, short-sentence copy’ in favour of something, well, more…baroque, if you will (I am not, to be clear, suggesting that everyone write like me – I would quite like to write less like me, if I’m honest, but am sanguine about the fact that the wind has changed and the ship has sailed (see? LOOK AT THOSE METAPHORS, MIXING LIKE OIL AND WATER)). Again, though, the theme/fear at the heart of this is the question of what we might lose when we lose the propensity to practice – and we will never know (unknown unknowns!).
  • AI Comes For The Thumbnail Industry: We’re at an interesting point in the hype cycle for generative AI at present, very much heading towards the slough of despond (or whatever it’s called when you get into the post-initial-peak slump) – familiarity is breeding a degree of contempt, and I’m hearing a lot of ‘well it can’t take my job so frankly I don’t see what the fuss is about tbh’. To which sorts of statements I like to point to pieces like this in response, because JUST BECAUSE IT’S NOT AFFECTING YOU RIGHT NOW DOESN’T MEAN IT’S NOT GOING TO CHANGE THE WORLD IN A LOT OF OTHER WAYS YOU SOLIPSISTIC PR1CK. Here Rest of World looks at the cottage industry of YouTube thumbnail designers which has built up over the last decade or so in the developing world, making attractive visual assets for YouTubers at low, low prices (comparative to the West, obvs) and whose business is starting to be undercut by automated services trained on billions on the fcuking things and which can create a fairly standard ‘bug-eyed amazement’ thumbnail and a bunch of A/B variants in approximately seven seconds for 10p. As with all this stuff, it bears repeating – it won’t kill the whole market, it certainly won’t kill the very top-end, and it may even create interesting new adjacent gigs…but this stuff is very bad news for the bottom-to-middle end of any market this tech touches.
  • AI For Creativity: The inimitable and always-useful Ethan Mollick writes about how to think about LLMs in terms of creative output, and how to potentially use them as part of your creative workflow. As I think I might have said before (so many words, so much repetition), whilst I don’t personally think these tools are particularly useful for actual idea generation, they can be super-helpful for eliminating all the terrible ideas that your colleagues will come up with without the need for a soul-crushing ‘brainstorm’ where people just say things like ‘what about a hashtag campaign?’ as though those words a) mean anything; b) have any value.
  • Making a Visual Novel with AI: Jay Springett, whose work on worldbuilding I linked to a few months ago, writes about some of his workflow attempting to pull together a visual novel in the solarpunk style, using various AI tools for the visuals; this is very practical, but I found it an interesting explanation of both the limitations and the practical steps you need to take to make something with a visually consistent style and that exists within a ‘defined’ area of latent space.
  • Boning In The Robotaxi: On the one hand, I am not wholly convinced that this entire article isn’t a piece of fiction – I mean, try verifying any of this. On the other, there is something so beautifully modern, so awfully dystopian, so perfectly San Francisco about the story that I couldn’t help but share it. You may have heard that self-driving cars are taking over San Francisco as the various companies seeking to convince us that no, really, this IS just around the corner offer heavily-discounted rides to the techies and the VCnuts zooming around the city, occasionally running over a homeless addict (probably) – well, per this piece, an unintended consequence of this is that people are taking advantage of the lack of a human driver to finger each other in the backseat (I paraphrase, but that’s basically it). SO MANY QUESTIONS! Do they wipe down the upholstery afterwards? Does ANYONE? Did the person who penned this read or watch ‘Cosmopolis’ in the period immediately preceding its genesis? Do the people apparently doing the boning really not care that they are obviously being filmed throughout?   Anyway, I look forward to automated vehicles becoming the 21st century phonebox – used largely by addicts looking for somewhere dry and secluded to tie off and shoot up – or for the spin-off enterprises that will result from having a theoretically-secluded, private mode of transport at your disposal; haircuts while you travel? Dentistry on your way to the meeting? Your in-car hairdresser? THERAPY WHILE U WAIT! Honestly, the possibilities are endless, the fingering’s just the start.
  • The Side-Effects of Home Monitoring: Another Rest of World piece, this looks at the way in which domestic surveillance tech (your Ring analogues, basically) being employed in India by wealthy families and homeowners to exert an additional degree of tracking and control over their domestic staff, monitoring their working patterns and timekeeping, and exacerbating existing dynamics of power and control through the (thinking charitably) unintended consequences of their function: “unlike office employees, domestic workers — mostly women with minimal education — have no control over what the apps track. There is no app interface for domestic workers and a typically a security guard appointed by the housing complex marks their attendance on the apps. In fact, 14 domestic workers told Rest of World they did not even  understand all the features of the apps. For instance, MyGate offers a rating system akin to Uber, where residents can rank domestic workers across parameters such as attitude, punctuality, and quality of service. But unlike Uber’s drivers, workers on MyGate cannot see their ratings nor rate the employers.”
  • The History of Corporate Presentations: Not the first time I’ve featured a piece on the wild and crazy and ROCK AND ROLL world of those people who used to make and arrange large-scale corporate presentations in the era before PowerPoint, when there were actual specialist companies creating the ‘son et lumiere’ for, say, IBM’s 1974 All-Hands jamboree in Aspen. There’s loads of great detail in here, and it really is a very different world – my main takeaway, though, is that specialisation is A Good Thing, and the idea that ‘everyone is good at making and delivering presentations’ is one of the great corporate fallacies of the last 30 years and one which has led to more wasted time, bored staff and pointless, terrible slides than anything else in the history of work. I mean, just read this and think how much you’d rather have The Muppets than listen to Jeannette’s stilted delivery and clumsy slide transitions: “At the height of Mesney’s career, his shows called for up to 100 projectors braced together in vertiginous rigs. With multiple projectors pointing toward the same screen, he could create seamless panoramas and complex animations, all synchronized to tape. Although the risk of disaster was always high, when he pulled it off, his shows dazzled audiences and made corporate suits look like giants. Mesney’s clients included IKEA, Saab, Kodak, and Shell; he commanded production budgets in the hundreds of thousands of dollars. And in the multi-image business, that was cheap. Larger A/V staging companies, like Carabiner International, charged up to $1 million to orchestrate corporate meetings, jazzing up their generic multi-­image “modules” with laser light shows, dance numbers, and top-shelf talent like Hall & Oates, the Allman Brothers, and even the Muppets.” Seriously, next time someone asks you to do a presentation I suggest you stick your neck out and demand additional budget for a light show and maybe some sword swallowing at the very least.
  • All The ‘Girl’ Trends: On the recent (well, past few years’) series of ‘girl’-related trends (‘hot girl summer!’, ‘girl dinner’, ‘sad girl literature’, etc, ad nauseam) and what they ‘mean’, specifically in terms of the packaging and commoditisation of femininity and the term’s rejection of traditional tropes of ‘womanhood’…your mileage will vary here, but personally I found this simultaneously an interesting look at ‘what it means to perform femininity in 2023’ and a depressing ‘wow, it’s astonishing how much this stuff stays exactly the same when you look beyond the specific language being used to describe / determine it’ bit of ‘everything is marketing and you are always someone’s mark’ analysis.
  • Hacking Real Estate: Yes, sorry, this is an Insider piece and as such is a bit sh1t; equally, though, it’s a(nother) useful reminder that the current generation of young people is the most hustle-y and materially-obsessed since the 80s, even though they don’t necessarily like having it pointed out to them. So it is that ‘being a landlord’ is being repackaged from TikTok upwards as ‘hacking housing’, and ‘gouging your tenants as hard as you can’ is ‘getting your bag’ and, honestly, there’s a degree of cold-eyed ambition and drive about all of this that I find slightly terrifying (but which, I concede, I might empathise with a lot more were I in my 20s and staring down the barrel of several decades of penury rather than, as is probably likely for me, some cancers and a rapid decline) – I do think there’s something inherently interesting in the rise of ‘the hack’ as a concept, and the idea that every system, product or process can be tweaked or optimised to deliver better/preferable/optimal results, if only you know the MAGIC KEY, and the extent to which that is a good/bad/massively exploitable thing.
  • Singapore In Colour: A beautiful visual essay exploring the colour palette of modern Singapore, through its architecture and residents and decoration – it’s such a glorious way of learning about and exploring the citystate, and you can go neighbourhood-by-neighbourhood, visualising the palette of each individual area as you. This really does feel like a love letter to the place, and it’s a lovely bit of digital storytelling by the Straits Times.
  • Water in Jordan: This is a SUPERB piece of writing about the city of Amman in Jordan – and indeed the country as a whole, its history and development and its present and its future – seen through the lens of the climate crisis and the water shortages which are facing the country now and which will almost-inevitably worse in the immediate future. Honestly, this is so so so interesting – it teaches you SO MUCH while at the same time being a wonderfully-written article, and its clear that Ursula Lindsay knows the city intimately; she tells a story of a country whose future suffering is born of years of exploitative mismanagement of assets of private interests left to run unchecked, and where, as with so many things in so many places, the main hope for ameliorative change comes from small, grass-roots organisations that seem capable of a degree of perspective absent from business and state. I found this excerpt particularly telling – sound familiar to anyone, this? “…The state withdrew from its role as the primary provider of public education, healthcare, and social housing, and instead became increasingly “involved in real estate development as a facilitator, regulator, and provider of indirect subsidies for multinational corporations.” 11 These subsidies include cheap land, infrastructure, and tax breaks. The high-end projects that have ensued, according to Daher, “are extremely exclusive … built at the expense of water resources and green patches … and work to push the poor to the outskirts of the city.”
  • London Restaurants: A rare OLD piece of writing now – don’t worry, the ceaseless pursuit of THE NEW will resume forthwith – this is a piece in the London Review of Books from 2019, which looks at the history of the London restaurant scene and its genesis in the late-19th/early-20th Century, and how its existence depends to an almost exclusive extent on the various immigrant communities who brought their cuisine, their culinary skills and their labour to England’s capital. This is SO GOOD, both on the history of the restaurant sector and its evolution, but also on the food and the logistics and the way in which the restaurants changed the city and vice-versa. There’s something poignant about the coda to the piece, in which the author asks what will become of the capital’s food scene in the wake of Brexit and the inevitable departure of people who worked as chefs and waiters and pickers and and and and…well, we know the answer now don’t we? Fair play to the non-metropolitan-elites who voted for Brexit – they really did manage to royally fcuk this aspect of London, which I imagine is no small consolation for, well, EVERYTHING ELSE.
  • It’s OK To Be Bad At Games: This will probably appeal most to people who a) like videogames; and b) know who Bennett Foddy is, or at least know what QWOP is, or Getting Over It, but should you tick either or both of those boxes then you will find a lot to enjoy in this interview. Foddy, for the uninitiated, is a game designer whose works are notable for their frankly insane mechanical difficulty – click the QWOP link and familiarise yourself with the vibe – and who in this interview talks about why he makes them, why they are so hard, and, significantly more interestingly, about the relationship between designer, player and the work itself, and how these elements are in dialogue with each other in games as they are in few other mediums. The extent to which you enjoy this will depend in part on the degree to which lines like “a lot of this stuff is about metacognition. Looking inward on the process of learning to play a video game — on what it feels like — is a lot of what playing a video game is about” make your teeth itch, so, well, see how you get on.
  • Doppelganger: Naomi Klein (No Logo, Shock Doctrine, etc) writes about her experience over the past few years being repeatedly confused with increasingly-bastsh1t fellow author of bestselling non-fiction Naomi Wolf (The Beauty Myth, Vagina), and how it feels having your identity so consistently and completely undermined in people’s consciousness by the actions of another over who you have no control. This is an excerpt from a forthcoming book on the subject – I don’t know whether I want to read a whole 300-odd pages of this, but I very much enjoyed Klein’s discussion of how one’s sense of self is so intimately bound up in others’ sense of what our ‘self’ in fact is.
  • It’s Bloodsicle Time: I did not expect an article about feeding frozen blood to zoo animals to be one of my favourite pieces of writing of the week, but this really is glorious – I can’t quite explain why, but I adore the voice here and found myself narrating it in a slightly-bored tone as I read.
  • When Trucks Fly: It’s been a good week for ‘unexpectedly excellent pieces of writing about stuff I did not expect to be interested in’ – see also this AMAZING article all about the monster truck scene and the people whose idea of fun is ‘flipping a truck with tyres the size of a small house 360 degrees off a ramp’, which, as with all the best examples of this sort of writing, is equal parts ‘affectionate bemusement’, ‘kooky characters’, ‘wow, country people, eh?’, and ‘the city slicker author gets in over their head’, and is all the better for hitting each of these beats with perfect timing and weight.
  • The Best: Finally this week, a piece of short fiction about an author and a sex addict. No, it’s not THAT sort of writing. I enjoyed this a lot, and I think you might too,

By Nigel Van Wieck

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

Webcurios 04/08/23

Reading Time: 37 minutes

I had a genuinely-chastening professional experience this week which I will share with you because, well, it contains a LESSON of sorts. I was asked at short notice to record a podcast on Monday to talk about That Fcuking Man and the Twitter rebrand, and I said a happy ‘yes’ because, well, I’m a middle-aged white man and as such I not only love the sound of my own voice but feel it desperately important that as many people hear it as is humanly possible. Now, whenever I have recorded this particular podcast in the past it’s always been a down-the-line interview with the host which then gets chopped into the requisite pieces for inclusion; as such, I was blithely unconcerned about little things like ‘prep’ and ‘knowing what the fcuk I was talking about beyond the superficial’, because, well, I could always do pickups and stuff. Great!

Except they have changed the format, and instead of that what was now required was that I go to a room in Soho and sit with two actual other people and have a ROUND-TABLE DISCUSSION on a range of issues that would then be lightly edited to make up the first half of the episode; oh, and the other people are ACTUAL PROPER JOURNALISTS who go on telly and stuff. So, er, turns out that if you just show up with only a vague. half-ar$ed idea of what you’re going to say you will very quickly find yourself quite out of your depth, and feel very embarrassed, and probably make quite a poor impression on people who, on reflection, you possibly ought to have tried a bit harder to impress.

So the lessons here are multiple: 1) DO YOUR FCUKING PREP YOU ARROGANT CNUT; 2) when you see people on telly being really funny and knowledgeable, chances are they have notes – MAKE SOME NOTES YOU ARROGANT CNUT; 3) maybe apply antiperspirant to your temples, because it turns out that this sort of embarrassment really does make sweat absolutely HOSE from your forehead and you will find this very, very embarrassing. Basically, it’s things like this that have led to me having the stellar ‘career’ that I have.

Anyway, I am off to Rome next week to sign a piece of paper (no, seriously, literally one – THANKS, ITALIAN BUREAUCRACY, ONCE AGAIN YOU AMAZE AND DELIGHT!) and so Web Curios will be off; I’ll be back in a fortnight, presuming I’m not dead of shame or anything else.

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and you should listen to me lest you end up doing THIS every week for the rest of your days

By Kate Breakey

WE KICK OFF WITH A (RELATIVELY) NEW MIX BY DJ FOOD WHICH MAKES A WHOLE LOAD OF 70s/80s MUSIC SOUND GENUINELY GREAT!

THE SECTION WHICH  WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT IF YOU ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE COSTA AD THEN YOU ARE LITERALLY THE SAME AS PEOPLE COMPLAINING ABOUT THERE BEING NON-WHITE PEOPLE IN THEIR BANKING ADS, PT.1:  

  • AI Kwebbelkop: One of the potential benefits, we’re told, of just sort of lying down and letting the future happen at us will be when we can finally sigh with weary contentment and hand over the reigns of whatever quotidian drudgery we currently undertake to pay the mortgage – why work yourself when you can send your AI avatar out into the digital fields to work the content farms? Obviously this isn’t *quite* how it’s going to work out – or at least, it isn’t if you’re you or me, but does in fact appear to be how it’s going to work out if you’re (apparently very popular) Dutch YouTuber ‘Kwebbelkop’ (no, me neither – anyone speak Dutch?), who recently announced after 15 years(!) of streaming that they were retiring, and that instead of appearing on-stream themselves they would instead be delegating all future video work to…AI KWEBBELKOP! As of the beginning of this month, the channel has posted two new videos, both of which featuring a cartoony avatar and what seems, based on my relatively cursory analysis (look, I am 43 years old and I am not sitting through more than about 2 mins of Minecraft YouTuber, even in service of this fcuking newsletter), to be AI-generated voicework. Obviously I have no idea what the workflow is here, but I presume that this means that Kwebbelkop (feels very silly typing this over and over again, fyi) can just record themselves playing the game for 30m, knock out a quick script, juice it with an LLM trained on their general style and then text-to-vid/text-to-speech it and sync the whole thing – the whole process taking a matter of a couple of hours rather than, say, a whole working day. The comments on the AI-generated vids are…confused, in the main, and I have no idea if this is going to be embraced by the streamer’s fans, but it’s an interesting idea (and, if you ask me, a perfectly-reasonable response to spending 15 years gurning at the gamera while playing digital LEGO).
  • The Sprite MixTape Generator: I have to say, given the fact that all this AI stuff has been FCUKING EVERYWHERE for nearly a year now – and, frankly, has been workable tech for a couple – it’s genuinely dispiriting to see how few interesting or creative or fun or imaginative uses of the tech there have been by the world’s assorted army of advermarketingprdrones. I mean, FFS, you’re supposed to be CREATIVE POWERHOUSES ffs, and yet you give me…stuff like THIS. ‘THIS’ being a ‘brand experience’ from nobody’s favourite brand of carbonated sugar water Sprite, in which “Sprite and Complex teamed up with OseanWorld to celebrate 50 years of hip hop with an AI-Powered Digital Art Experience. Let your words and creativity become the canvas that generates your very own custom mixtape artwork.” What might that mean in practice? What sort of interesting and exciting combinations of generative AI technology will this multi-million dollar brand and the marketing geniuses who steer it through the choppy waters of the zeitgeist come up with to surprise and delight me? It’s…a mixtape cover generator! Yes, that’s right, engage in a vapid conversation with a natural language chatbot that will ask you some bland bromides about your ‘connection’ with hiphop (sample question: “Hey [USERNAME]! Great to meet you. Now, let’s dive into your hip hop preferences. How do you usually discover new hip hop music? Any favorite platforms or methods?”) and then use the answers to generate a ‘mixtape cover’ whose look depends on your interactions with the bot. WHY? WHY DO I WANT A MIXTAPE COVER?! I DON’T HAVE A FCUKING MIXTAPE FFS! WHY IS THERE AT THE VERY LEAST NOT A BASE-LEVEL SPOTIFY INTEGRATION SO YOU COULD MAYBE CREATE ONE FOR ME? IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? Also why is the artwork so small, and so utterly sh1t? HOW DID YOU FCUK THIS UP SO BADLY?! Given the amount of fascinating, creative, surprising and imaginative stuff there is out there on the big old internet, brands creating stuff like this is, frankly, miserable and dispiriting. DO BETTER FFS IT’S NOT EVEN YOUR FCUKING MONEY.
  • EXPTV: Joining a long and storied list of ‘sites on the internet that are basically like the sort of weird hinterland TV that you used to occasionally stumble upon at 230am on Channel4 in the 1980s’ – I’ve featured several of this sort of thing in Curios over the years (no, I don’t keep a list ffs), and this is a particularly nice example. “A 24/7 live TV channel, broadcasting an endless stream of obscure media and video ephemera”, or so its description says, this is SUPER – like old-school MTV fed through a John Waters filter, and with a programming schedule that includes slots such as ‘Incredibly Strange Metal’ and ‘Kung Fu Wizards’. If you’ve ever hung out in a very particular type of bar (often with significant quantities of old film memorabilia and a pseudo-50s kitsch aesthetic) then you will recognise THE VIBE of this channel from the sort of thing they would have had wordlessly playing on a single corner-mounted television – this is excellent fun, and really well-curated (based on my admittedly cursory examination), and frankly feels like the sort of thing you could happily chuck on in the background on a Friday evening while you get very, very stoned and play stupid boardgames.
  • Move It, With Pepsi!: I mean, technically this is called ‘Muevelo Con Pepsi’, but I thought I’d do the heavy lifting of the translation for you (I’m nice like that) – rejoice, everyone, we’re back in the metaverse! One of the side effects of having seen a LOT of really bad ‘metaversal’ projects over the past 3 years or so is that you start noticing certain details that are specific to the 3-4 different software platforms that every single brand has unquestioningly used to build their deeply-miserable, empty, soulless, 3d brand purgatories – so it is that when I arrived in PEPSI’S EXCITING LATINO DANCE WORLD (it is not exciting, and, honestly, if I wanted to create a brand activation that ‘celebrated’ the rich and varied and INHERENTLY PHYSICAL world of dance from central and southern America I would probably consider doing it in a medium that, I don’t know, existed) I immediately recognised the particular ‘jump’ animation applied to avatars by this particular metaverse vendor and I felt, momentarily, at home (interesting aside – if all these things are built on the same platforms, why aren’t they more…interoperable, and why is there no way for users to easily switch between worlds on the same platform? Is it because none of these things are really ‘metaverses’ at all? MAKES YOU THINK). Anyway, this is incredibly sad and pretty much the antithesis of the fun, vibrant and carnival-esque atmosphere you might associate with Latinate dancing – but, on the plus side, you get to wander around this empty digital space and look at huge screens on which you can see ‘creative director and actor’ Beau Casper Smart teach you some dance moves in the metaverse (dance moves which, to be clear, you can’t attempt to replicate or mimic because the functionality simply isn’t there! It’s great!) while his eyes scream “THINK OF THE PAYCHECK THINK OF THE PAYCHECK”. Honestly, this is superb and DEFINITELY worth the six figures in agency and platform and talent fee that this inevitably required. WELL DONE EVERYONE!
  • Pamera: This comes to me via occasional Web Curios contributor and digital artist Damjanski, who writes “Hi Matt,hope you do well. You might enjoy this app (disclaimer it’s very stupid)”. Well, that sort of description was bound to hook me in (I am nothing if not a predictable sucker for dumb digital ephemera, after all), and, honestly, this is SO FUN! Pamera is a really simple idea – an iPhone app that uses machine vision to ‘see’ whatever you take a photo of and then (probably) the GPT API to take whatever objects it’s ‘seen’ and use those as the basis for a poem written about whatever object or scene the machine has ‘perceived’. THIS IS SO FUN – and, case in point, an interesting and cute and enjoyable and surprising and creative use of generative AI tech. It’s easy to imagine some small builds on this – you could let users choose from a variety of poetic forms, for example, or poetic styles, or apply tonal filters to the outputs (“make it more redolent of consumptive melancholia, please!”) – but in general this is pretty much perfect. THANKYOU DAMJANKSI!
  • Experience Business: I have something of a fraught relationship with the world of ‘BUSINESS’ – on the one hand, I need to earn money and, because I am lazy and the very opposite of ‘entrepreneurial’, to do so I tend to need to operate within the confines of the existing corporate world; on the other, I find the world of BUSINESS very, very silly, and, largely, ridiculous, and tend to ACT OUT a bit when I am around people who treat it like it’s serious. Which is, perhaps, why I enjoyed this site so much – it’s the (perfectly reasonable and very nicely-made) online home of the KKL concert hall in the Swiss city of Lucerne, specifically the branch of the venue that rents out its various spaces for corporate events, and I don’t think I have ever seen a shinier and more fancy way of showing off the fact that they have nine separate spaces that you can book for your skullfcukingly-tedious quarterly marketing all-hands. You can whizz around the building in 3d! Each of the rooms has its own dedicated 3d model thing, and some copyritten blurb about what makes it special (‘The multifunctional hall becomes the hall you need for your event.’ – I mean, really, this is great)! Honestly, this really is wonderful – it’s really good, but, I might argue, perhaps a TOUCH overengineered. God I love the Swiss.
  • Poisons Help: Have you ever thought “I really wish I felt safer in my pursuit of my amateur mycology hobby, but my terrible memory and failing eyesight mean I can’t ever be fully confident that the fungi I’ve just picked aren’t in fact going to make my bowels liquefy and my blood turn to mulch”? WELL IT’S YOUR LUCKY DAY! Poisons Help is a Facebook Group whose sole purpose is apparently to answer questions from mushroom pickers about whether or not that really is an Ammanita Phalloides, and whether they do in fact need to go to A&E about the strange numb prickling they’re starting to experience all down their left-hand side – or, based on the most recent comments on the Page, whether their dog needs to be rushed to the vet RIGHT NOW. This is a lovely community and super-interesting, and one which feels like it could form the centre of a rather dark story in which an ostensibly-minor spat over community etiquette six months ago inexorably leads to a passive-aggressive withheld response to a ‘shroom-based query and a tragic, avoidable death a little further down the line.
  • The Screw Project: This feels vaguely familiar, but apparently I have never featured this before (or certainly not in the past 8 years or so, and, honestly, NOONE FCUKING CARES OTHER THAN ME) and so it’s fair game – The Screw Project is a wonderful and slightly-unhinged idea by the creators of the ‘smile screw’, a new design for screws/screwdrivers that someone came up with in 2014 and which is functionally-identical to the normal flat/phillips screw of tradition, but which looks like a smiley face and so is therefore, objectively, better. This site features a map of all the different places in the world where someone has sought to make the world a marginally-cheerier place by installing smile screws in their home or establishment (aside from anything else, smile screws have the very particular benefit that, unless someone happens to have a very idiosyncratically-designed screwdriver on their person, noone can mess with your screws) – there are, at the time of writing, only 66 instances of smile screws being used in the world, which feels…low, tbh, which is why I encourage all of you to buy a pack and a special smile screwdriver from the website and spread the smile screw gospel far and wide.
  • Lennybot: I featured a previous iteration of this project a few months back – it previously used natural language search to create a useful, searchable archive of podcast episodes, but that has now been extended to cover blogposts and writings as well. This is interesting less because of the content (sorry, Lenny – although if you’re DESPERATE for more product marketing insights then maybe you’ll find something to love here) and more because of the sort of proof-of-concept nature of the project in terms of the whole ‘look at what you can do with a corpus of information and some light generative AI on top of it ffs!’.
  • Liar Liar: One of the interesting (lol!) things about the coming AI revolution is the odd, asymmetric information dynamics that it’s goint to introduce – as I think I’ve previously bored on about, the world becomes marginally more unpredictable when everyone (for example) has their own personal AI-enabled digital assistant in their pocket and they are all potentially different and customisable, and you never have the slightest idea whether the person you’re interacting with is the sort who just goes with the ‘default Google Helper’ avatar or an enthusiastic hobbyist who’s decided to install ‘Tatepilled Waifu Companion’ on their iPhone 24. Or indeed when you have no idea whatsoever whether the person who you’re chatting to online has installed a piece of tech like Liar Liar on their machine – this is a (almost certainly TOTALLY BULLSH1T) service that purports to let anyone install it on their machine, after which they can use the tech to run realtime AI-assisted polygraphic analysis of anyone their videochatting with, based on the tech’s assessment of a bunch of physical signals as observed through the cam feed. To be clear – polygraphs are questionable tech at best, and that’s with actual sensors attached to actual physical people; the idea that there’s software that can make any sort of accurate assessment of whether or not someone’s telling the truth based on ‘machine-observable physical signals’. The site claims to use  “Remote Photoplethysmography (rPPG), a technique that detects subtle color changes in the face, indicative of your heart rate. But it doesn’t stop there. It’s also monitoring for eye movements, facial expressions, and body language, each providing valuable data to the AI. With all this information, the AI uses psychological know-how to interpret it all. Sudden eye movements, particular facial expressions, or specific body language, all add up to reveal a potential deception. The tool combines these individual signs, often undetectable to the human eye, and uses the cumulative data to offer an accurate assessment of truthfulness. It’s the seamless integration of technology and psychology that makes LiarLiar.AI a powerful ally in lie detection.” It’s TOTAL BOLL0CKS – but, obviously, the unsettling thing is that despite the completely unscientific claims being made here and the fact that’s, to repeat, TOTAL BOLL0CKS, you can equally imagine stuff like this being applied to all sorts of real-life situations, and this sort of dodgy tech being used to take real decisions that impact real people’s lives, and it’s stuff like this that we should be worried about rather than the killer machines imho.
  • The Civic AI Observatory: An interesting new initiative by the smart people at Newspeak House and NESTA – to quote, “Nesta is partnering with Newspeak House to establish the Civic AI Observatory. Rather than being just another AI initiative, the Observatory will be a space in which people can come together to learn about AI calmly and safely, and talk about relevant work. The Civic AI Observatory will host events tailored to diverse groups from civil society, from leaders, to funders and capability-builders, to practitioners. There will also be a newsletter and an online community: ways to stay abreast of developments in AI of relevance to civil society. We can’t predict the outputs of the work but we have some outcomes in mind. If the Civic AI Observatory works well, people in civil society will: have a better understanding of AI technologies have a better grasp on the kinds of value that AI can add, while being well-informed about trade-offs and risks be better connected to people asking similar questions.” If this sounds like you or your organisation, get in touch.
  • The Japanese Paper Film Project: “In the 1930s, several Japanese companies produced films made on paper (“kami firumu”) instead of celluloid. The Japanese Paper Film Project preserves the surviving movies and promotes scholarship about these films. From 1932 – 1938, two Japanese Companies dominated the paper film market. Most well known are REFCY, based in Tokyo, and Katei Toki (“Home Talkie”), based in Osaka. They produced animated and live action films and often in color. Moreover, many of the films contained synchronized sound tracks on 78rpm vinyl. Given the short period of production, the varying paper quality, and WWII’s devastation, very few Japanese paper film prints survive. Now, almost 90 years later, the handful of surviving prints are beginning to deteriorate. Thus, this project is racing against time to preserve the films before they disappear entirely.” This is SO INTERESTING – you will recognise the style here, but I had no idea that this is the animation technique that resulted in that very particular look and feel. If you want to see clips from the films that are being preserved you can see them on the project’s accompanying Twitter (SUE ME ELON YOU CNUT) account. 
  • Audio Atlas: It’s interesting (to me, at least) that the past six months or so’s frothiness around AI still hasn’t seen a decent natural language music search crop up yet, not even from Spotify (or have I missed something) – this is another attempt to create such a thing, and it doesn’t *quite* work. Type in the sort of thing you need to soundtrack (I just gave it “I need a soundtrack to a film which pans slowly over a field of corpses”) and it will spit out a selection of suggested tracks in seconds. Having said at the start of my writeup that this doesn’t *quite* work, I now find that it’s given me at least one reasonably decent suggestion based on that macabre prompt  – the gimmick here is that it’s a sales tool for a licensing library, giving you the ability to license a track in two clicks after listening to the preview. This is reasonably-smart, although I still maintain that as soon as the text-to-music stuff gets really good then all these music libraries are going to be utterly banjaxed.
  • The Web Fractal Clock: This is mesmerising and brilliant and beautiful, and I want it on a giant digital screen in my house for evermore (it is also very easy to read, I promise, you just need to take a moment to work out what’s going on). Seriously, this is so so so cool and ought to be a massive installation somewhere so if one of you could sort that out that would be great please thankyou.
  • AI Concerts: Via Andy comes this TikTok account which creates…surprisingly good covers of famous tracks, redone by AI so as to make them sound like they’re being covered by a bunch of cartoon characters – sadly all said characters appear to all be from Spongebob and Phineas & Ferb, and other titles that I was too busy being too old to ever have really have had a cultural relationship with, so I can’t gauge the quality of the voices, but the accompanying CG ‘concert’ videos are really excellent and in general this is a fairly-uncomplicated Good Time.
  • CubeTrek: Not, sadly, a new IP in which the crew of the Starship Enterprise grapple with the mysteries of the TimeCube (which, now I come to think of it, sounds…quite good?) but instead a rather cool service aimed at the climbing and mountaineering communities and which effectively uses GPS tracking to create a 3d visualisation of the journey you take up a mountain; like Strava, basically, but for people with more walking poles and a generally casual attitude towards trudging past a few hundred frozen corpses on your way to the summit. This actually looks pretty cool, and I like the fact that it hooks up to Google Earth to let you show your best hikes in a CG flythrough – personally-speaking I think they’re missing a trick by not having some sort of 3d printing option here, but I increasingly think that I am the only remaining person alive who remembers that 3d printing is even a thing (but seriously, who wouldn’t want a perspex cube into which had been laser-etched the route of their greatest ever ascent – NO FCUKER, etc!).
  • Make 8bit Art: 8bit art generators are not new and, frankly, are a bit ten-a-penny and I wouldn’t normally bother including them, but I’ll make an exception for this which is genuinely pleasing to use and which even I managed to make something not-entirely-repellent with in just a few short seconds.

By Stipan Tadic

WE NOW GO BACK TO 1996 AND ONE OF MY FAVOURITE MIXES OF THE TIME WHICH YOU CAN PROBABLY SKIP IF YOU’RE NOT INTO TECHNO BUT IF YOU ARE THEN YOU WILL ENJOY THIS – THIS IS BITTER & TWISTED MIXED BY MRS WOOD! 

THE SECTION WHICH  WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT IF YOU ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE COSTA AD THEN YOU ARE LITERALLY THE SAME AS PEOPLE COMPLAINING ABOUT THERE BEING NON-WHITE PEOPLE IN THEIR BANKING ADS, PT.2:  

  • General Index: “General Index is a shapeshifting encyclopaedic project by Ill-Studio focusing on factual information from all of human knowledge gathered into a corpus of abstract ideas and practical things’”. So, er, that clears things up then. General Index is slightly-baffling initially, but does start to make sense once you click through a bit and land on the accompanying semi-explanatory site which delivers some context behind the dizzying, shifting taxonomy of everything that flashes across the homepage (it will make sense once you click the original link, I promise you). I like this a lot.
  • EVIDENT Images of the Year 2023: Would you like to see some images of REALLY REALLY SMALL THINGS, all pretty and iridescent? GREAT! Some of the things that these people have managed to capture are insane – the individual scales on a butterfly’s wing, ffs! SO SMOL! – although best not speculate too hard about whether or not the red-backed salamander whose skull is so beautifully captured in cross-section is doing ok.
  • Casehopper: A (theoretically) genuinely good and positive use of generative AI! No, really! Casehopper is a service designed to help legal practitioners dealing with immigration applications in the US accelerate the speed with which they process said applications, offering assistance with the doubtless-formulaic process of information compiling and submission. Basically you (the lawyer) feed in all the information you have into the system and it will knock out the required documentation required by law, all in the appropriate legalese – or at least that’s the promise, but obviously I have no way of verifying whether or not the outputs are decent or whether by using this service you’re effectively condemning your clients to a swift return to whence they cane via the cheery repatriation mechanisms of the famously-accommodating US immigration system. Still, this feels like…a Good Thing? I mean obviously we’d like in a world in which each individual’s immigration request was dealt with humanely by a real person, but given that almost the exact obverse of that seems to be true and that The System is already basically a gigantic and unpleasant bureaucratic meatgrinder then it sort of makes sense to attempt to play the system using a bit of light automation – if, of course, The Machine does the job properly, because the caveat to all of this is that a bad-but-quick solution makes everything worse so much faster. Let’s…let’s hope for the best, eh?
  • Unspun Heroes: FULL DISCLOSURE – this is a project by my mate Simon, but I promise that even were it by someone who I hated and wished a painful death on I would probably still feature it because, well, it’s a GREAT idea and I wish I had thought of it (and the name tbh). Unspun Heroes is a music label which answers the single burning question which I imagine has been on your lips for YEARS (whether you have been aware of it or otherwise), to whit: “Is it possible to find under-appreciated albums and reissue them on vinyl?” – and thanks to Unspun Heoroes, the answer is now a loud and unequivocal “YES”. The site is both a place where writing about favourite underrated records lives, and will eventually become a place where you can buy said limited edition reissues of classic, underappreciated records on lovely environmentally-friendly (insofar as that’s possible) physical media. This is a great idea (damn you Simon) and a lovely thing for all those middle-aged men amongst you who think that a record collection is a substitute for having a personality.
  • The BBC on Mastodon: How are you all getting on in the middle of the Great Social Media Revolution? Have you managed to stick it out on Threads/Bluesky/Post/T2/Mastdon? Are you enjoying the very 2023 experience of posting the same thing (with a small degree of platform-specific tweaking) to six different platforms and finding that noone cares on any of them? Isn’t it great? No it is not great, it is sh1t, and part of me does rather pity the poor people at the BBC who have been tasked with running the Corporation’s new presence in the Fediverse and who, I fear, will be Skeeting into the void rather. Still, this is A Good Thing and exactly the sort of thing the BBC *should* be experimenting with if you ask me, and as ever with the Beeb they are being very thoughtful about how they approach the whole thing: “This is an experiment – we will run it for 6 months and then decide whether and how to continue. We aim to learn how much value it has provided and how much work and cost is involved. Does it reach enough people for the effort we need to put in? Are there risks or benefits from the federated model, with no centralised rules or moderation and no filtering or sorting algorithms? We’re learning as we go, and we’ll write about what we discover in the hope that it might be useful for others. The BBC will continue its other social media activity in the usual places. Looking ahead, could we move beyond Mastodon to other ActivityPub applications for publishing content? And would this provide us with some insulation from the risks that might be created as other social media platforms continue to change and evolve? And will large, planet-scale social media platforms persist or are they gradually disappearing? What are the alternatives and what will we have in 10 years time?” Honestly, I am so so so glad that an organisation exists that can and will do this sort of thing, and I am happy to pay for it.
  • Songwriters: A new bit of dataviz exploration by the Pudding, this latest example of their now-signature ‘TELL STORIES WITH NUMBERS AND SCROLLING’ style looks into the number of female songwriters involved in penning modern hit singles, and the oddity of the fact that, per their investigation and analysis, while half of the songs they analysed that made the Billboard Hot 100 top 5 had all-male songwriting teams, only one had an all-female songwriting team. This leads them down a rabbithole of enquiry that takes the reader on an interesting journey through songwriting trends and which while so doing does a decent job of gently explaining some of the innate sexism inherent in the way the music industry functions and moving onto the manner in which this data tells the story of men controlling women’s work and money and agency throughout the course of the past 70 years – as the site puts it: “Women singing the songs that they wrote might seem like a trifling detail, but it actually suggests something more vital: you cannot talk about the history of music without talking about men actively limiting the musical activities that women were allowed to participate in, sometimes via physical or sexual violence.” An excellent example of how to do BIG THEMES in a way that doesn’t feel preachy or heavy-handed (and, as always, just great data-led communications – these people really are consistently excellent).
  • The Constitute Project: A project designed to let anyone compare the contents and composition of national constitutions worldwide: “New constitutions are written every year. The people who write these important documents need to read and analyze texts from other places. And citizens need to know, and to be able to understand, what’s in their countries’ foundational documents. Constitute offers access to the world’s constitutions so that users can systematically compare them across a broad set of topics—using an inviting, clean interface.” This is FAR more interesting than I’d expected – yes, fine, I am an ahistorical ignoramus, what of it – and I didn’t think I’d find myself spelunking through the previous iterations of the Italian constitution with quite such relish. It’s impossible not to feel a slight ‘fcuk me the weight of history’ moment when you look at some of the dates on this stuff (or, potentially, to think ‘hm, maybe it might not be a terrible idea for us to perhaps come up with something to maybe update the Magna Carta a bit?’).
  • Design Spells: I don’t *think* this is actually anything to do with the occult, but, just in case, Web Curios accepts no responsibility for any hideous eldritch familiars which may manifest at the foot of your bed as a result of your use of this website. Design Spells is a newsletter – ALL OTHER NEWSLETTERS ARE FALSE GODS THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE TRUE NEWSLETTER AND THAT IS THIS ONE – which exists to highlight small, lovely, often inessential design features which you might otherwise have missed. From their description, “Do you remember the micro-interaction that made you smile? Or the Easter egg you stumbled upon in your favorite app? These design details might go unnoticed by many and have little impact on the metrics that today’s apps are optimized for. They probably won’t appear in any product roadmaps or company OKRs. Nevertheless, these details are not pointless. They infuse life, personality, and fun back into the web. They spark joy and reward those who find them with a sense of delight. They represent the last bastion of hope against the backdrop of a homogenous web. It is at the intersection of design and engineering where these details are made possible. It is here that the real magic happens.
    That’s why we started Design Spells — to celebrate and showcase the design details that feel like magic.” I am 100% a fan of this ethos – I will forever hold a candle for those sites that feature pointless-but-happymaking bits of UI or UX work, and personally think that anyone working on any deadly-dull bit of faceless corporate busywork make it their mission to include ONE incredibly-silly thing hidden somewhere no right-thinking person will ever click (I am 100% putting a secret ‘link to furry bongo’ on the next digital project I work on and that is a GUARANTEE).
  • One-Take Video: A bunch of new AI-ish features introduced by Vimeo and being bundled together as their ‘One-Take Video’ offering – this might all be super-useful if you’re a creator, but as with loads of this stuff all I can see when I look at it is a bleak future for lots of people currently making a living as video editors and scriptwriters and the like; I can’t tell you the amount of old rope money I’ve earned from cobbling together half-ar$ed scripts for videos I know that noone will ever watch (as you can tell, I bring my a-game to that sort of work!) and now these b4stards are STEALING THE VERY FOOD FROM MY MOUTH by offering functionality like ‘automatic video scriptwriting’ (and a bunch of other stuff too, like teleprompting and AI-assisted topline video editing). This might be useful, but it has slightly-hamstrung my future earning potential and so THANKS FOR NOTHING VIMEO YOU FCUKS.
  • Ratatan!: A Kickstarter! This one is a shoo-in – it’s for a new videogame created by the same team that developed cult hit Patapan! a few years ago and which is now seeking funding (and has in fact achieved its goal in a matter of days) to develop a brand-new esoteric-looking rhythm-based game in which, as far as I can tell, you play rhythm games to lead a cute army of critters against ANOTHER cute army of critters! The official blurb says: “Ratatan is diving onto the roguelike scene in this combination of rhythm and side-scroller action. Players can move to the groove alone or team up with friends in multiplayer mayhem suitable for up to four players!  Engage in huge melee brawls with more than 100 characters duking it out for supremacy. Defeat your enemies by riding the rhythm of Ratatan’s catchy, toe-tapping soundtrack in this delightful, heartfelt adventure!”, but all you really need to know is ‘CUTE-BUT-VIOLENT RHYTHM GAME WITH SLIGHTLY-MAD VISUALS’ and that should give you the general idea.
  • Diarrhoeacoffee: ANOTHER KICKSTARTER! This one also already-funded, but…significantly sillier. This also feels like a bit of a cheat – it’s an LG project, and I wasn’t aware that Big Business used Kickstarter like this tbh – but also means that I don’t feel bad about making fun of it. The device being crowdfunded here is a whizzy new coffee machine which it seems LG is about to add to its range – the gimmick here is, in part, the fact that it can hold two coffee pods simultaneously which allows you to BLEND DIFFERENT TYPES OF CAFFEINATED BEVERAGE! I know – IT’S WHAT I HAVE DREAMED OF TOO! If that wasn’t enough, though, LG’s design team have obviously been worshipping at the church of the infamous(ly ineffectual) Philippe Starck lemon squeezer, because this coffee machine is a(n admittedly pretty cute-looking) tripod design in nice, reassuring, Baymax-style curved white plastic…which, unfortunately, deposits the coffee from a central nozzle in a manner that can only be described as ‘a bit like watching it take an unpleasantly-liquid bowel movement’. Look, I promise I’m not exaggerating – click the link and watch the promo video and try and get past the fact that it looks almost exactly like your coffeemaker is, effectively, browning into a demitasse for you. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE YOU CANNOT.
  • Sch1zo.net: It’s important to caveat this link, I think – when you spend a lot of time online, you often come across sites and work by people who are somewhat…outside the norm, shall we say, and in such cases I always try and make sure that if I do feature the site in question I do so in a manner that doesn’t feel like I’m making fun of anyone or punching down (I have no idea whether I succeed in this endeavour, but I promise I do try). In this case the site’s creator, one Sebastian Prusak, openly mentions on the homepage that the work of creating and maintaining it is in some way part of his recovery from severe schizophrenia, and the content of the site reflects that – the bio section is (to me at least) incredibly poignant, but the real draw for me is the art – I have seen…a lot of ‘outsider’-type art websites, but it’s rare that I see anything so…interesting. The work itself is sort-of mathematical-geometric, with lots symbolic references, but the most fascinating thing to me is the navigation interface which seems to try and create an interlinked thematic map of Sebastian’s works, based on…criteria I don’t quite understand. I can’t quite explain why, but this really stayed with me this week and I think it’s quite remarkable.
  • Astronomy Photographer of the Year 2023: The winner’s announced on the 8th September, but while you wait for the STARS TO ALIGN (lol) for the lucky victor you can peruse the nominees on this webpage (or, if you’re able, pop to the National Maritime Museum in Greenwich to check out the exhibition that accompanies the contest). These are obviously FCUKING AMAZING if a *little*-too post-produced for my taste – it’s cheesy, true, but the Pandora pic is quite cool, though my personal pics for the win this year are the solar flare shots because WOW, frankly.
  • The Sounds of Space: In fact, while looking at the images at the last link, why not accompany your wide-eyed appreciation of the majesty of the cosmos with this soundboard of THE ACTUAL SOUNDS OF SPACE? It’s not, fine, a hugely-compelling soundtrack, but there’s always the outside possibility that if you download the audio files and run them through a bunch of filters/enhancers you’ll be able to hear something TERRIFYING AND ALIEN.
  • Woodward Draw: Our final miscellaneous link this week is this GREAT game in which you’re asked to come up with as many different four-letter words as possible simply by changing one letter at a time – the goal is to find all of the SPECIAL words which have been given a delightful pixelart illustration, and which you can ‘collect’ like some sort of mad, acquisitive;linguaphile. If you have a small kid who is into vocabulary, I reckon this is probably a good 30 mins in which the sticky-faced little treasures might just be quiet, should you be in the market for such a thing.

By Anastasia Samoylova

OUR FINAL MIX THIS WEEK IS BY NOEMA AND FEELS LIKE A PERFECT ‘WATCH THE SUN COME UP AFTER SOMETHING OF A HECTIC FEW HOURS’ SELECTION, SHOULD THAT BE OF USE TO YOU THIS WEEKEND OR INDEED EVER! 

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

  • Bowiesongs: Not in fact a Tumblr! Still, it’s a lovely project which feels Tumblr-adjacent and it’s written with such erudiet affection that it’s an easy recommend – Bowiesongs is a long-running site (it’s been going since at least 2009 ffs!) which features essays about, er, Bowie’s songs (and, latterly, songs about Bowie), and it’s still going (the latest update was last week) and, honestly, this is LOVELY and really well-written to boot (which it’s fair to say isn’t always the case with this sort of stuff).
  • Knobfeel: A sadly-defunct website but one whose ethos I very much enjoy and approve of – while it existed (2013-17 RIP) it served solely to offer reviews of various pieces of hifi equipment based on how good it felt to turn the knobs on said hifi equipment. As someone who regularly sighs when observing the unique beauty of a slow-closing kitchen drawer I very much enjoy the fact that this existed (and am frankly confused as to why it stopped – how could anyone possibly get bored of writing this stuff?).

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • SeoulTribe: One for the K-Pop fan in your life (IS IT YOU?) who wants to branch out a bit from the Blackpinks of this world and spread their musical wings slightly (but not so much that they ever leave Korea), SeoulTribe is (was? I hope not, though the bio does rather suggest it might be on hiatus) a place where its creators shared recommendations of Korean music outside of the more mainstream/large-scale K-pop acts.

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

  • Search and the Meaning of Information: I thought this was an excellent and interesting article on the way in which the past 25 years of search engines have altered our relationship with information and what we consider the POINT of it to be – the central thesis here, that all information providers are either ‘librarians’ (people who point you at more information that you can use to deepen or better understand or further contextualise your query) or ‘physicians’ (who instead just point you at the answer and don’t bother you with extraneous info or context), struck me as a potentially-useful way of looking at the world and, even if you don’t agree, the general points made around what is lost when one ‘just’ gets the answer without having to think too hard about it and how the intersection of generative AI and search might possibly impact the issues raised in interesting and baroque ways.
  • Elon and X (Again): Oh, fine, in case any of you really care then here’s the ur-writeup of the whole ‘Elon Musk’s history with the letter X and how the story behind his initial obsession with it proves once again that the man is literally a 14 year old boy somehow magically become the world’s richest human’ – it’s largely the same stuff as in the Twitter thread I featured last week, but rendered more readable, although it does contain some genuinely great quotes which I hadn’t previously been aware of (in particular the line about x.com being ‘the coolest url in the world’ is just PERFECT – note, also, that Musk was already 29 years old at that point and really should have been beyond this sort of thing). BONUS MUSK – I was asked to talk about the ‘X’ thing on a podcast this week, in the unlikely event you want to hear any more about THAT FCUKING MAN (and, also, some stuff about Nigel Farage – really selling it to you, aren’t I?).
  • The Mastodon Problem: I appreciate that an article that can best be described as ‘a detailed and deep investigation into all the reasons why people who tried to move from Twitter to Mastodon mostly didn’t manage to do it, or if they did they tended not to bother sticking around very long’ probably doesn’t have mass appeal, but let me attempt to draw you in by explaining that it’s actually a really good breakdown of all the ways in which users bounce off a product or experience and, while it’s obviously quite specifically software-tech-y it’s also full of general principles that can probably be usefully applied elsewhere if you’re in the process (or the general practice) of building things and trying to get people both to use them and to keep using them).
  • How Large Language Models Work: I know, I know, you don’t want to hear any more about AI and you don’t need to know the technical details about how the fcuk they work (to the extent to which anyone is able to adequately explain it, in any case) – I know this, and I hear your weary pain. BUT! Given the seemingly-inevitable advance of this stuff into every single corner of every single element of your working life, it’s probably not a terrible idea to have at least a passing idea as to what the fcuk is happening beneath the hood every time you type ‘please turn this bulletpoint list into a 2,000 word report because I honestly think that if I have to write any more of this pointless tripe I will actually attempt to drown myself in the sink’. This is a very, very good primer which is about as ‘layman’s terms’ as it’s possible to be, and I promise will give you at least a base-level grounding in the science behind the magic.
  • Why The Artists Will Lose The Lawsuits: I am not a lawyer – SHOCKING, I KNOW – and as such I am obviously in no position to make assessments about the likely progress of the various copyright cases being brought against the various AI companies by artists, writers and the comedian Sarah Silverman; I have checked, though, and the author of this piece at least went to law school and so as such is at least in-part qualified to opine on the issue. According to this person, Silverman in particular has no legs to stand on based on US law, and in particular the specifics of copyright law: per this section, “The thing about copyright is that, as the name suggests, it is all about stopping people from making copies of the work; importantly, you cannot copyright an idea. Therefore, you can’t stop people from creating their own creative works, like lists that mention your works or analyses of your creations, which is called transformative work.¹ Parodies, for example, are transformative because even though they often involve the use of copyrighted material, they transform the material in a permitted way. The AI companies are going to wipe the floor with these litigants using copyright law as their towel because it’s basically impossible to argue that machine learning isn’t transformative use.” Now obviously different rules apply in different territories, but I find it hard to see much beyond the argument presented here.
  • Russian Propaganda and the Videogame War: An interesting look at how and where the Russian administration is placing propagandistic messaging around the country’s invasion of Ukraine in various digital spaces, in particular gaming environments, as a means of attempting to secure hearts and minds – this feels very kitchen sink future (by which: grubby, mechanical, now and also VERY SCIFI), but also like the sort of thing that anyone who’s been banging the whole ‘THE METAVERSE IS JUST VIDEOGAMES’ drum might want to reasonably point at as another datapoint that proves they’re right.
  • The Robots Are Already Here: I’ve spent much of the past few months having increasingly miserable-sounding conversations with middle-aged friends about when exactly will be the time when we jack in this white collar stuff and instead decide to get an HGV license and some hi-vis, based on the not-unreasonable assumption that the full automation of manual labour is a few years behind the full automation of ‘doing stuff with words’ – and then this week I read this article and realised that perhaps even attempting to outrun that particular wave is futile. Here the New York Times profiles a bunch of different businesses working on developing the latest in labour robotics for factory floors and the like – despite the title, though, I didn’t leave this piece thinking ‘our days are numbered and I will never work again’ so much as ‘Christ, am I going to have to retrain as someone who fixes the robots? I DON’T WANT TO’, so I suppose that’s a positive of sorts.
  • RCTA: ‘RCTA’, I hope you’re unaware, stands for ‘Race Change To Another’ – this article purports to raise the lid on a NEW ONLINE SUBCULTURE in which people claim to be able to alter their ‘racial characteristics’ by, you know, just WANTING IT really really hard. “Practitioners of what they call “race change to another,” or RCTA, purport to be able to manifest physical changes in their appearance and even their genetics to become a different race. They tune in to subliminal videos that claim can give them an “East Asian appearance” or “Korean DNA.”” This is, obviously, a mental riff on the whole longstanding otherkin-esque Tumblr sickness (see also: lucid dreaming, Tulpas, etc), and the sort of behaviour which I am increasingly convinced is just an example of kids on forums deciding to see if they can fool a bunch of clueless journalists into treating their sh1tposting as ‘A REAL THING’; honestly, if you were a 14 year old and you came to the realisation that 90% of lifestyle journalism in 2023 is seeing whatever odd internet sh1t the algorithm decides to feed you and then profiling it in all seriousness because all culture is a 2dimensional plane now then you would TOTALLY run a year 10 competition to see who could be the first to get “Thatcherpilled” into a national newspaper as a NEW YOUTH CRAZE. The alternative, of course, is that there are some people who do actually believe this, and that’s far too scary a possibility to entertain.
  • Supercars for Prom: On the one hand, I don’t for a second want to make fun of the London kids profiled in this piece who have taken to celebrating their secondary school ‘prom’ by hiring influencer-style supercars to be photographed next to; on the other, there will never be anything funnier than seeing an objectively-slightly-overweight teenager who you get the feeling still gets told off for not making their bed or for talking back to Auntie posing in front of a Huracan while making gang signs.
  • On Fan Entitlement: This is a really fascinating piece, exploring an increasingly-interesting and complex question – what is it, exactly, that being a ‘fan’ means in 2023, and what exactly is the relationship between object of fandom and the fans themselves, and what, exactly, are we celebrating when we say we are a ‘fan’ anyway. Riffing on the increasing number of celebrities (cf Doja Cat, etc) who have of late come out to suggest that perhaps some of the behaviour of the people who make up their fanbase is…a little unhinged, and the subsequent fan backlash against artists who are perceived to not be ‘grateful’ enough for the army of borderline-obsessives whose ‘love’ pays their bills, this is perhaps more interesting in terms of what questions lie underneath. “Historically, fans have felt entitled to celebrities because they’ve been aware that the artist is a product; they give love, dedication, money and time to artists, and they expect something in return – that’s the Faustian bargain that celebrities have to make,” runs one quote from the piece – but isn’t what fans get from the artist…the work? I wonder whether there’s something in here about the digitisation of culture – and its subsequent ubiquity, and the fact that you can in theory listen to any song by any artist at any time any where for no money, that has divorced the relationship between an artist’s work and any ‘value’ to zero in the eyes of fans, and, if so, what exactly does lie at the heart of the relationship between the two. See also this piece, about the frankly unhinged way in which BookTok has latched onto hockey players and how said hockey players and their wives are not hugely happy about being objectified like this – and the equally-unhinged response of said BookTokers when the subject of their obsessions says that maybe he might like them to leave him alone a bit.
  • The Thirst Trap Chefs: A month or so ago, Facebook (yes, I know, but there are Professional Reasons why I have to use it, leave me alone) decided, for reasons known only to Maths, that I was in fact a gay man, and as such the advertising and promoted content in my feed changed…quite drastically, and OH MY DAYS did I see some eye-opening content that shows the lengths some content creators will go to to tap into the doubtless-lucrative bongo-adjacent cheesecake market (I appreciate that this will make me sound uncharacteristically-naive, but I had NO IDEA that there were knitwear brands whose whole marketing strategy seems to be ‘let’s photograph men who look like bongo actors in the scene JUST BEFORE they get totally naked and start with the sexy touching’, for example)). Anyway, that’s by way of long-winded preamble to this piece profiling a bunch of male chefs who’ve worked out that making desserts and kneading dough while topless (and, er, occasionally pretending to perform cunnilingus on a pre-baked loaf of sourdough) will bring a certain type of eyeball to your content – which, fine, more power to you, lads, but equally, per the last article, I would be VERY SCARED about some of the people for whom you’re becoming some sort of pinup.
  • When Did People Stop Being Drunk?: An important investigation into when, e exactly, in recorded history everyone stopped being mostly p1ssed all the time as a result of the fact that the water would kill you and so you HAD to drink booze to stay alive. A great read, and contains wonderful historical information such as: “in the archdeacon court of Colchester there were 756 prosecutions for drunkenness between 1600-40, comprising around 2% of all offenses in the court.In an online project detailing over a hundred fatal accidents from Tudor England, we find multiple people falling drunk into ditches drains, or rivers, one of which is a priest. We also bare witness to a drunk driving accident “Edwardes had too much of the drink and drunkenly hit one of the horses with a stick so hard that it left the road and pulled the cart up a hill in the field, overturning it.”. It’s sort of funny to think that we might look back at the current era and ask “so, when did everyone start being basically stoned all the time, then?” (for me, 2020 since you ask).
  • Why Does Scandinavia Love Metal?: Is it the whole ‘it’s dark for 5 months of the year’ thing? Is it the trolls? Is it a reaction to the region’s reputation for quiet, calm and order? Or is it, perhaps, a simple reaction to the fact that Scandi countries are rich and liberal and as such tend to have really excellent music teaching, meaning that loads of kids are actually really competent musicians and so are perfectly-placed to get involved with the technically-complex and often quite demanding rhythms of METAL? Or are they all just DEEPLY SATANIC? A combination of all of these things, quite possibly (oh, ok, fine, the Scandinavians are not, per se, ‘deeply Satanic’), as this interesting little article outlines – this is also just a good reminder of the fact that there are always multiple explanations available for anything, and which you choose to focus on can be an interesting and useful way of changing perspective and thinking differently (there, you can now allocate all the time you spent reading Web Curios at work this afternoon to ‘strategy and planning research’. You’re welcome!).
  • Dancing With Devil Daggers: Devil Daggers is a relatively-obscure indie videogame available on PC; you probably haven’t played it (I haven’t played it), but that doesn’t matter – this piece is all about the experience of playing it, but more specifically about the very particular experience of ‘flow’ in games (or indeed anything else), and that sensation of smooth-brained oneness with ones fingers or limbs that occasionally kicks in when you’re in a state of grace, and, honestly, I LOVED the writing here and the way in which author Hayes Gelmacher describes that very particular sensation of almost weightless, frictionless DOING that very occasionally comes upon one. You really don’t need to play games to enjoy this, I promise you.
  • The History of Tomb Raider: Or, specifically, the history of Core Design (the studio that developed the original) and all the people who were involved with the first game and its subsequent sequels, and how it all went sort-of wrong. This is very much an ‘inside industry’ piece, which is no bad thing – you get a very real sense for the working environments at the time, and also the (still obviously not-exactly-resolved) resentments and tensions that resulted from the combination of immense success and huge pressure and LOADS OF MONEY and also ‘being men in the 90s/00s’. If you have ever worked in or around games (or frankly in production of any sort tbh) then a LOT of this will be very familiar to you.
  • How I Became A Modern Bootlegger: On being, briefly, a middle-class drug dealer in North America, ferrying weed over long distances in a rental car – this is a great piece, less about how ‘cool’ it is to sell drugs (it is not cool) and more about the very particular niche that selling weed has occupied in American culture for a few decades (a not-unreasonable part-time profession for a certain stripe of college-educated liberal, basically – if you’ve read any contemporary American fiction over the past 40 years this is a trope you are probably intimately-familiar with) and the people who occupied it, and the general concept of ‘slacking’, and, finally, the way in which the legalisation of marijuana across much of the US has quietly closed this particular loophole, for better or worse.
  • Against Curation: I think the ‘c’ word as used here fell out of favour about 10 years ago, when EVERYTHING was curated and EVERYONE was a curator – here, Jonathan Nunn writes in Vittles about the way in which ‘curation’ has extended to the UK food scene, and specifically the sort of food that gets offered at festivals and ‘street food’ and ‘farmers’ markets across London and the rest of the country, and how, as a result of ‘curation’ and the flattening of culture based on a series of datapoints, this effectively amounts to an identikit procession of dishes drawn from a narrow selection: “the food options of the entire world can be portioned out into ten categories: burgers, pizza, katsu curry, burritos, mac n cheese, pasta, doughnuts, churros, hog roast and halloumi fries.” Nunn writes brilliantly about food and place and culture, and this is a typically-excellent article about what happens when, at heart, you tRuSt ThE dAtA too far.
  • We Are All Animals At Night: On working nights at a ‘Gentleman’s Club’, as a dancer – this is not about ‘what it is like working as a stripper’ so much as it is ‘what it is like working nights and specifically nights in a space that marks you as being slightly different from other people, and if you’ve ever spent any extended periods working the night shift (whether in adult entertainment or otherwise) then this will resonate with you, I promise.
  • One Day It Will All Make Sense: Finally this week, a truly brilliant essay by the exceptionally-talented Tabitha Lasley whose work I’ve featured in here before and here writes in Granta about an affair and being a writer and success and fear and superstition and therapy and luck and, honestly, this is a superb piece of writing and I promise it leaves you with a feeling that, perhaps, everything is going to be ok, maybe, and frankly that should be enough to recommend it to you.

By Marc Dennis

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

Webcurios 28/07/23

Reading Time: 35 minutes

God, it’s been an awful week for bloviating cnuts, hasn’t it? SHUT UP NIGEL SHUT UP ELON SHUT UP AND FCUK OFF AND SHUT UP!

Sadly, though, they won’t do either of those things, and we will continue boosting and bolstering their utterances, however untrue or unhelpful they are – that’s simply just how things work here at the fag-end of temperate civilisation.

Otherwise it’s been a good week for everyone with stocks in energy companies and air conditioning units and, on balance, a bad week for literally everyone else (and, frankly, even those people aren’t going to outrun this, however well their portfolios perform).

Still, links! Links will make it better! CLICK THE PAIN AWAY!!!

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and maybe we could all club together and buy a grand hotel in Cleethorpes in preparation for the apocalypse-induced ascent of the English coast to its new status as a sweltering summer holiday destination?

***TINY AWARDS UPDATE***

The Tiny Awards are over! We have a winner!

We received over 1500 votes across the nominated sites – thanks to everyone who voted, who shared the link and who said nice things – and the winner of the inaugural Tiny Awards 2023 is….*drumroll*…ROTATING SANDWICHES by Lauren Walker!

Congratulations to Lauren (and also, ahem, to me, who had the GREAT TASTE to feature the site when it launched last year), who is the proud recipient of $500 (thanks to ZINE) and the official Tiny Awards trophy which will be winging its way to her as soon as it’s finished!

BUT, there’s more! If you click here, you can see the full list of EVERY SINGLE nominated website – over 300 fun little homemade and whimsical web projects for you to explore and enjoy, and which is, honestly, at least a full rainy day’s worth of interesting and odd and cute.

Kristoffer and I have honestly been overwhelmed by the support and interest people have shown, and will definitely be doing this again next year (barring injury or death) – til then, though, THANKYOU TO EVERYONE who participated in any way, you are all wonderful and I love you immoderately and damply.

***END OF TINY AWARDS UPDATE***

By Paul Anthony Smith

THE MUSIC BEGINS IN IMMENSE STYLE THIS WEEK COURTESY OF A FOUR-HOUR MIX OF ITALO-DISCO AND SPACE FUNK AND, HONESTLY, YOU CAN ALMOST SMELL THE COCAINE! 

THE SECTION WHICH WOULD ADVISE ANYONE WHO’S GOING TO EDINBURGH FOR FRINGE TO TRY AND CHECK OUT NATALIE PALAMIDES NEW SHOW AS IT IS EXCELLENT, PT.1:  

  • Hoodmaps: I have been slightly-obsessed with this all week whilst at the same time knowing that this is almost certainly SUPER-OLD NEWS for some of you (specifically, those of you younger than me – this very much feels like ‘something that was big with kids in approximately 2021). Still, as someone once told me (ERRONEOUSLY) ‘the internet is not a race’ (if it isn’t a race then, well, what have I been *doing* with my life?!), and as such we can all hopefully enjoy HoodMaps together even if we are TRAGICALLY LATE to it. But, er, what is HoodMaps? Well (glad you asked, thought you’d never get round to it) it’s MAPS! Of your (neightbour)hood! Annotated with comments from all the other people who’ve previously visited the site and seen fit to leave a little comment tagged to a specific area of a town or city which offers an often-poetic description of what the area in question is *actually* like! This is CHAOTICALLY-BRILLIANT, not least because the comments are seemingly-unmoderated which means that you get wonderfully-bitchy notes on certain areas (personal favourite: “rich gay couples looking for a third”, although I also have a soft spot for London’s Surrey Quays which simply reads ‘DECATHLON’) – I haven’t yet seen anything horrible or racist, but obviously there’s always a slight risk. As far as I can tell this is generally local kids leaving the notes – I’ve looked at various towns and cities I’ve lived in, and each time have just become mesmerised by the tapestry and texture of the city that’s revealed in the comments (yes, I know, pretentious, but, also, true!). I am currently writing this just to the West of an area charmingly-tagged as ‘knife crime central’ – find your own zone!
  • Escape Plan: Have YOU ever wondered what it would be like to be trapped in a house fire, desperately fighting through your suddenly-unfamiliar, smoke-filled surroundings in attempt to reach safety and fresh air before your lungs start to burn from the inside-out? Lol just wait a few years and that will be summer lol! Until then, though, why not ‘enjoy’ this interactive EXPERIENCE brought to you by Meta in conjunction with the US Government in which you get to experience the first-person…er, experience of being stuck in a burning building – will YOU be able to get out in time, or will you become a virtual Roman candle? This is quite slick and, despite the fact that there is no jeopardy whatsoever and I was experiencing it in a slightly cold flat in North London, I felt…moderately-anxious at points during the game (is that an endorsement?) – those of you with an Oculus gathering dust on your shelf may be pleased to know that there’s a VR option too, meaning you can have a TERRYFINGLY-IMMERSIVE HOUSE FIRE EXPERIENCE which sounds, honestly, a bit much. Still, if you do try the VR version, why not ask a friend or family member to wave a pair of curling tongs around your head while you try and escape for a bit of what the Merlin Entertainment Group refer to as ‘4d immersion’? You can thank me later.
  • Drake Related: I appreciate that ‘being plutocratically rich’ probably has its downsides – one of which is the fact that a near-infinite number of grifters will come to see you as an easy mark, and you will have to suffer a succession of sales pitches and propositions from people who want to charge you large sums for terrible ideas. Still, try as I might I can’t excuse Drake – or whichever entourage member has been delegated the job of ‘Drake’s Global Senior-Vice-President of eCommerce’ – for this online shop, which is…ok, how best to describe this? You remember a couple of years ago when all the dreadful metaverse consultants (WE STILL SEE YOU WE WILL NOT FORGET) were peddling ‘shopping…in the metaverse!’ solutions, and there was a spate of sad, unloved 3d worlds in which you could jerkily-navigate a poorly-rendered avatar while looking at digital representations of pairs of jeans which you could click on to be taken to an entirely-separate online storefront? OF COURSE YOU DO THEY WERE THE BEST OF TIMES! HALCYON DAYS! Anyway, this is…that, but in 2d! Yes, that’s right, someone’s convinced Drake(‘s team) that the best way of shifting the warehouses of ‘Champagne Papi’ (I pretzel myself with second-hand shame at that nickname every time)-branded tat is to create a(n admittedly nicely-rendered) selection of rooms from Drake’s mansion (and his garage, and, er, his private jet) in 2d, which contain certain objects which can be clicked on and then purchased. So, to be clear, you have to navigate across seven or so separate web pages and play ‘hunt the interactive elements’ on each, before clicking on something to be taken to a separate website to actually buy anything…oh Drake! I am personally quietly convinced that someone somewhere has charged a six-figure sum for this and, honestly, I applaud whichever enterprising crook is responsible, not least because this exact online shopping experience has been underwhelming customers for about 15 years.
  • 100 Years of OBB: If you’ve spent any time working in communications, you will at some point or another have come across the classic brief format that is ‘come up with ideas to promote our corporate anniversary!’ (I know! I am tumescent at the very reminiscence!) – similarly, if you’ve ever come across such a brief, you will at one point or another have pitched ‘use your incredible archive of corporate history (so fascinating!) to create an interactive digital exhibition, one which tells the STORY (sorry) of your thrilling brand while at the same time subtly promoting the visionary strategy that will see you bestride the coming century like the BUSINESS COLOSSUS you are!’, usually safe in the knowledge that the actual budget is about a tenner and there’s no way they’ll want to spend the money to make anything good. AND YET! Amazingly, for the centenary of the Austrian state railway company OBB they have done EXACTLY THAT and created this rather nice web experience which takes you through the past 100 years of, er, trains in Austria. This is, fine, probably not of HUGE interest unless you’re an Austrian train enthusiast (works both ways), but I am genuinely charmed that someone actually did one of this in real life, and there’s some genuinely interesting social history in here. Also, LOTS OF TRAINS.
  • Encounter Stories: This is a rather lovely photography portfolio site – Marion Lepretre has built it to host a bunch of pictures she’s taken of people she’s met while travelling the world, with each photo accompanied by a vignette of the person’s life, narrated by (I presume) Marion herself, and with some light doodly animation overlaid over the top of the images to create a sort of mini-documentary-style feel to each individual shot. There are about 15 on here, I think, and going through them and listening to their stories and the connection Lepretre made with them was, I found, a very pleasant way to spend ten minutes.
  • The Rebel Library: Launched this week by XR, Rebel Library is a resource dedicated to compiling a reading list for the climate emergency(/apocalypse – delete depending on your current response to the weather): “Any library is always a work in progress. And with the rich landscape of climate and ecological literature evolving faster than ever, there has never been a more exciting time to build a showcase of books. This virtual library is born of our love of reading, and our joy in sharing our discoveries. Whether you are browsing for your next good read, building a book-list, or simply looking for inspiration, see this as a resource to use and share. You should be able to find most of out featured books in your local library  (find your nearest library by searching your local council website, or use https://www.gov.uk/local-library-services if in England & Wales) or by ordering online from Hive.” While the site obviously can’t host any works for copyright reasons, it’s looks like being an interesting resource for anyone who wants IMPROVING BOOKS TO FUEL THE FEAR (or, alternatively, just a place to get some decent recommendations for smart work).
  • The GPT Forecasting Challenge: This is an interesting little quiz/test – Nicholas Carlini has pulled together this series of 25(ish – sorry, I forget the exact number and I don’t have time to check now as it’s 745am and time’s a-wasting) questions designed to test how well you can predict ChatGPT’s ability to accurately perform a specific task. It’s not, fine, the MOST engagingly-designed web experience, but while we wait for every single thing in our lives to get the full VR treatment (HOLD ME BACK!) then I’m afraid you’ll just have to manage your expectations. Anyway, I found this super-interesting, not least as a way of assessing whether or not I in fact have any meaningful understanding of the actual, real-world capabilities of LLMs (I do, mostly, it seems) and there’s probably value in using this as a bit of a training and education exercise should you be in the invidious position of being responsible for the AI education of your professional peers.
  • The History of Acid House: Much as with the 1960s, I rather suspect that if you can remember the Acid House era with pinpoint clarity then you probably weren’t really there (either that or you leaned VERY HARD into the lifestyle, haven’t come down since 1991 and now have those terrifying, ice-blue eyes possessed only by Hollywood Nazis and the most serious of pills’n’speed casualties) – still, for any of you who would like to give yourselves a FULL MUSICAL EDUCATION, or alternatively to remind yourselves of what exactly you were meant to be listening to while yomping around a field past Junction 16, this will be an invaluable resource. There are over 700 tracks compiled here, with new ones being added all the time – it’s interesting (to me at least) to remind oneself of how…*simple* the tracks are, and how relatively-gentle. The fact that the people who were into this at the time will now all be in their 50s is…confusing to me, I must confess.
  • Acronymy: FABULOUSLY-GEEKY WORD FUN! Which is what *I* would have called this website, suggesting, not for the first time, that I am fcuking awful at naming things. Acronymy is a FAR better moniker, and it’s a silly/fun project to boot, seeking to create acronyms for 270,000 English words (so far they’re at just over 5,000). Type in any word you can think of and you will be invited to invent an acronym for it, as well as being shown any acronymic suggestions that previous visitors have left. So it is that I discovered that some smart person somewhere in the world has already acronymed ‘horse’ as ‘hoof owning rideable strong equine’, which, honestly, is just applause-worthy. This is basically like some massively-multiplayer word game, which is very much something I can get behind.
  • LinearA:: I think this is the second time in a month or so that I have found cause to mention the ancient written script that is LinearA, suggesting…actually, no, I have literally no idea what, if anything, THE UNIVERSE is attempting to communicate with me here – if YOU have any ideas, please do share. Still, ineffable grand plan aside, this is a really interesting site (although one which really doesn’t explain itself very well), where you can look at a bunch of scans of VERY OLD ROCKS which have been inscribed with LinearA script – you can see the original sample of the writing, a transcript of it, and detail of what each individual element has been translated to mean, so you can (with a bit of patience, and thinking, and squinting) start to get an idea for how it was used to construct sentences and communicate ideas. This really is fascinating, but requires a bit of effort to get your head round.
  • Diamond Journey: Welcome back to Web Curios’ LUXURY WEBSITE IDIOCY CORNER! It’s been a while, but we’ve got another excellent example of some proper high-end webwork and insane, meaningless copy for you – this time courtesy of the DEFINITELY IN NO WAY ARTIFICIALLY-INFLATED AND MORALLY DUBIOUS AT BEST diamond industry! This starts strongly – “My diamond has so much to tell me”, the site solemnly asserts, while showing you a photo of a strangely-blue-tinged woman who honestly looks like she’s just realised that the bump she just did was not, in fact, cocaine at all – before really raising the bar with some world-class examples of meaningless copy (“My diamond’s story begins with time itself” deserves some sort of a prize, I think) and an almost risibly-cheap looking image of a precious stone that tumbles down the screen as you scroll…then really hits its stride with this line, which manages to be both grandiose and oddly-gauche and childlike “Somewhere between 1bn and 3.5bn years ago” – that’s…quite some date-range there, isn’t it? – “When the Earth was still shiny and new. Before dinosaurs, before humans, before just about everything” – honestly, just click the link and revel in the very, very shiny and rich idiocy (and that’s before we get to the claims that diamonds are ethically fine actually honest guv because, honestly, I don’t necessarily think that that’s strictly true). An absolute classic of the ‘stupid websites for very rich people’ genre, this.
  • Eyes on Asteroids: You might be forgiven for watching the weather reports this week and thinking ‘you know what? Maybe an asteroid strike would just be a sweet mercy compared to the likely nature of the next few decades’ – in which case, you will very much enjoy this NASA webpage which tracks the movement of asteroids around the Earth so you can see exactly how close we’re coming to total planetary annihilation on a monthly basis. There’s even a section which tells you the next five closest asteroid pass-bys (there’s one the size of a house whizzing past us tomorrow, for example), and now I sort-of want to buy a telescope.
  • Listen Later: Not an entirely new idea, this, fine, but a good one and a smart use of modern text-to-speech tech; this is basically ‘Pocket, but if you wanted to turn all of those unread Curios longreads into a podcast rather than simply another overlong email you’ll eventually delete unread’. From the site’s creator: “ListenLater.fm generates a personalized podcast feed for you to listen to. You let it know about articles you’d like to read later. When you do, it adds a spoken version of the article to your feed for you to listen to whenever your ears are free…Adding new things to listen to is simple. When you’re on a computer, the easiest way to add new articles is through our browser extensions. When you’re on your phone and want to add an article, it’s simple to share an article via email. You can also use our bookmarklet to add new articles. Listening’s a breeze. You get your own custom podcast feed, that you can subscribe to in any podcast app. Anything you send to ListenLater.fm will be kept there for you to listen to on your own time.” The service is free for upto 5 articles a month, with a subscription required to do more than that (which feels fair – after all, text-to-speech at bulk costs money), and in general this strikes me as a super-useful tool.
  • ChatGPT Fashion: This isn’t, fine, a hugely-groundbreaking thing on its own, but it struck me that it’s a useful proof-of-concept for how AI-assisted shopping can/might/should work – it’s a very rudimentary hack, but basically you tell the platform whether you’re looking for ‘male’ or ‘female’ style, give it a suggestion of the sort of outfit/vibe/look you might want to sport and The Machine spits out a bunch of fashion advice AND (and this is the clever bit) links to actual clothes that you can buy from actual retailers that correspond to its sartorial suggestions. As I said, not exactly earth-shattering – but simple, smart and an obvious way in which this could work in a way that feels useful to consumers rather than just an AI gimmick layer.
  • Statistically-Improbable Things: A Reddit thread in which people share stories of things that happened to them that are improbable in the extreme, many of which will basically end up convincing you that the Final Destination films are in fact documentaries and that WHEN IT IS NOT YOUR TIME IT IS NOT YOUR TIME. Seriously, I can’t stress enough quite how many of these made me wince out loud (no, you’re wrong, that DOES make sense) and vow to be incredibly careful when washing up anything made of glass.

By Alessia Morellini

WE TRAVEL BACK IN TIME 25 YEARS NOW WITH THIS SUPERB ALBUM OF D’N’B REMIXES OF DUB WAR!

THE SECTION WHICH WOULD ADVISE ANYONE WHO’S GOING TO EDINBURGH FOR FRINGE TO TRY AND CHECK OUT NATALIE PALAMIDES NEW SHOW AS IT IS EXCELLENT, PT.2:      

  • The Loose Ends Project: I can’t pretend that this didn’t make me a *touch* emo when I discovered it this week, but it’s broadly the good sort of emo, I think – it is SO SO SO LOVELY I MIGHT CRY (again). The Loose Ends project exists to take the knitting projects left unfinished by people who’ve died mid-knit and hand them over to skilled third parties who finish the work started by the deceased and then pass the finished article back to the person’s loved ones, giving them a final memento mori in, er, wool. Honestly, it’s impossible to think about this in any meaningful way without tearing up a bit (or at least it is if you’re me) – even better, it’s an international initiative and they welcome new volunteers, so if you’re a skilled knitter and perler and you fancy doing something genuinely wonderful for someone then you might want to consider signing up. I know I always say stuff like this and that by so doing I also slightly ruin the otherwise lovely projects I feature here, but this very much feels like something that is the PERFECT charity-type partnership for the right sort of brand (I HATE MYSELF AND I AM SORRY).
  • South Pole Signage: Brought to you by the South Pole’s premier website brr.fyi (one of the Tiny Awards finalists, fwiw), this is a superb collection of mundane signage employed at the planet’s southernmost pole – which, fine, probably doesn’t SOUND compelling, but there is something so so interesting about the ways in which people have to think about their environment when somewhere hostile and remote and where collaboration and having to just sort of get on with stuff is hugely-important. To quote the post’s author: “I’ve always been fascinated by routine, mundane activities and infrastructure in extraordinary contexts. It’s why I’ve gleefully written about the everyday realities of life and how they play out in Antarctica – topics such as laundry, wastewater infrastructure, credit card fraud, voting, automated teller machines, mud, and doors. In the seven months I’ve been at the South Pole so far, I’ve kept up my fascination with the day-to-day tasks involved in keeping the station going. Yes, we’re at the actual, real-life South Pole. Yes, it’s -100°F outside. Yes, we’re isolated for 8 months straight. Yes, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and an extraordinary, novel set of circumstances. But also – We live here! And living in a place means that it will develop a certain rhythm. A certain set of norms, customs, fault lines, battle scars, inside jokes, remembrances. Day-to-day reminders of the folks who have left their mark on this place over the years.” This is glorious (as is the whole site tbh).
  • Forum Games: I love this in ways that I don’t think I can adequately explain. Via last week’s B3ta comes this wonderful subsection on the GiffGaff community forums (for non-Anglos, GiffGaff is a provider of mobile telephony solutions) in which various users are running (and seem to have been running for YEARS) little ‘games’ in which they invite other users to do such ostensibly-tedious things as ‘count up to 200, and back to 0 again, using only prime numbers’ or ‘let’s all write the days of the week in order over and over again’ and, honestly, there are HUNDREDS of people ‘playing’ this stuff, just logging into the thread to type ‘13’ or ‘29’ or ‘TUESDAY’, and…I don’t know what to make of this, to be honest, whether it’s something deep and pure and beautiful or whether it’s basically the equivalent of caged chimps scrawling inchoate messages on the concrete floor whilst bemerding the gawping schoolkids. There are threads here that have been going for THREE AND A HALF YEARS ffs, demonstrating an unwavering commitment to The Bit. I honestly have no clue whatsoever you should do with the knowledge that this exists, but I like to imagine one of you will be having a moment of Damascene clarity and purpose right now.
  • Sonic Cartoon Frames: Ignore the ‘Are you 18?’ Imgur disclaimer that pops up when you click the link – I can assure you that this is entirely SFW in every way (unless you have some sort of deep erotic attachment to the Sonic the Hedgehog universe, in which case I suggest you might want to perhaps address that) – because this is not bongo, it is instead an unfathomably-large collection of individual animation frames from the old Sonic cartoon series – there are over 2100 cells here, which I can’t imagine for a second any of you will have a use for but which I like to think will inspire at least one of you to train a local version of Stable Diffusion on this to create the greatest Sonic cartoon creation engine EVER (a boy can but dream).
  • The AI Baby Generator: This is fabulously stupid and fcuked up – well DONE everyone! The AI Baby Generator helps you answer that age-old question – “were I to have children with that person over there, what would our kids potentially look like?” – via the medium of shonky AI imagework, letting you see exactly how hot the offspring of your union with literally anyone in the world could eventually become. This is, as you have probably worked out by now, a laughable grift being run by opportunistic shysters that is patently targeted at the VERY STUPID – sorry, but I refuse to believe that anyone with an IQ in treble figures is shelling out a tenner to receive a grand total of FIVE AI-generated images in return – but which is also probably going to end up taking a lot of money from the mad and delusional too; the fact that they explicitly offer ‘see what the spawn of the union between you and the celebrity who you have an increasingly-unhealthy parasocial crush on!’ as a service suggests that they have no qualms whatsoever pandering to the lonely stalkers of the world. Perhaps my favourite thing about this, though, is that the ‘Premium’ pricing tier (a bargain $27!) secures you not only some photos but ALSO ‘A 7-Page Future Child Personality Report’! That’s right – not only will they chuck in a few extra poorly-’shopped photos of your imaginary baby, they’ll also drop in some GPT-styled rubbish about how it’s almost certainly going to be an empathetic genius! This does feel a bit…grubby, doesn’t it?
  • Climate Conflict: This is a sobering read – not, frankly, that we ought to need one, based on, you know, ALL THE BURNING. Still, if you’d like to take something of a deep-dive into the areas most likely to suffer significant political and social upheaval as a result of the rise in global temperatures and general fcukery of the coming years’ weather patterns, this is a useful resource – it provides a region-by-region overview of the relative threats facing each region (climate-related, economic, political) and focuses on Nigeria as a case study of some of the likely impacts of shifting climate on the socioeconomic fabric of the country. This is obviously quite miserable reading, but, equally, it’s quite important.
  • The Rochambeau Club: Thanks to Alex for sending this to me – The Rochambeau Club is a fascinating fictional brand (it reminds me a bit of both skincare brand Vacation and the equally-fictitious US football team Asbury Park) representing an old-school US country club, the sort of place that (as a non-American) I imagine being the setting for an infinity of Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger shoots, where preppy teens stalk languidly across manicure lawns whilst blitzed off their tits on Adderall and Xanax (I have, perhaps, read more American campus novels than is strictly healthy) before one of them gets murdered as part of some sort of ritualistic cult practice (I have also read too much Ellis/Tartt) – except the funny thing here is that the Rochambeau Club doesn’t in fact exist at all, but does seem to be selling a natty (and pricey) line in wine, and loafers, and a few other things. As Alex said, “I wonder if the particular genius of Rochambeau is it lets people buy into the rich & preppy fantasy, but with the plausible deniability that you’re doing it ironically so you’re not a massive tory”, which seems like a reasonable explanation tbh.
  • Illustration Chronicles: This is GREAT! Compiled by Dublin illustrator Philp Kennedy, “Illustration Chronicles explores a history of illustration through the images, illustrators and events of the past 175 years. Every few months the site picks a topic to explore. These topics inspire the types of work that get selected and once a piece has been chosen, the year it was made gets marked off the project timeline. Illustration is a fascinating subject and yet its history is rarely told. This project aims to champion the medium and bring some inspiration, insight and knowledge to readers everywhere.” Honestly, this is SUCH a rich archive, and so beautifully curated and explained – if you’ve ever enjoyed a visit to the London Cartoon Museum (and if you haven’t, why not?!) then you will absolutely adore this site.
  • Artemis: Another in the near-infinite series of ‘we can automate the tedious business of engaging with your kids on an imaginative/emotional level!’ companies being facilitated by AI, Artemis exists to let parents automatically create illustrated bedtime stories for their kids based on a series of prompts – as you’d expect, this is built on an API meaning there’s a need to buy tokens to build the content and as such this could get expensive quite quickly; BUT, on the plus side, you’ve not had to spend any time thinking about how to bore your kid to sleep! Obviously I jest – even the childless like me are aware that sometimes, just SOMETIMES, parents don’t have the time or the energy to come up with a Disney-standard original story to accompany bedtime – but I find something particularly-distasteful about Artemis’ insistence that using its tools will ‘help build empathy in your little one’ which, honestly, sounds like emotionally-manipulative bullsh1t. Anyway, I think that this sort of thing serves mainly to illustrate the inherent limits in generative AI as a narrative tool – everything I have made with this is so bad that I would genuinely bet on myself to do better, and I basically hate children and wish I was dead, so.
  • Public Photos: Do YOU take photos? Do YOU have an Apple account on which you store them? Do YOU wish that there was a really easy way to take all those photos and turn them into a public-facing webpage with basically no work at all? If the answer to all of these questions is a resounding ‘yes’ then a) wow, I know my readership significantly better than I thought; and b) YOU ARE IN LUCK! There’s a waitlist to use the service, but, honestly, this couldn’t be simpler and is a potentially lovely alternative to chucking everything on Insta.
  • First Versions: SUPERB PRODUCT HISTORY WEBSITE! Per it’s strapline, “Everything had a first version: here you can find it!” Want to learn about the first ever Singer sewing machine? OH GOOD! Want to be able to go through a dizzying archive of frands and products and see how they started? YES YOU DO! If you’ve any interest in the history of brands then this is a wonderful resource – it’s a VERY old school website, so perhaps lacks some of the user-friendly gubbins that a modern user might ideally expect, but, well, there’s a history of Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera, and of Barbie, and of Tequila, and how many other sites can say that? NO FCUKERS, etc!
  • Solar Grazing: I’ll be honest – there is one reason and one reason alone why I am featuring this website, and it’s not the subject matter. Solar Grazing, it turns out, is the practice of, er, grazing sheep near solar farms. “The American Solar Grazing Association (ASGA) was founded to promote grazing sheep on solar installations. ASGA members are developing best practices that support shepherds and solar developers to both effectively manage solar installations and create new agribusiness profits. We are a not for profit trade association founded for and managed by sheep farmers who became solar graziers. In our industry, we are facilitating research, best practices, and leading the way to co-location at solar arrays with solar grazing.” So there. Boring, isn’t it? I tell you what isn’t boring – the association’s logo, which I would honestly have on a tshirt tomorrow and which I would have on a poster, and which I genuinely and unironically love more than almost any other piece of design I’ve seen all year. TELL ME I AM WRONG, I DARE YOU.
  • Faster Displays: Occasionally I stumble across website that represent industries so niche that you wonder whether you’re the only non-industry person to ever visit them (the last link being a case in point) – so it is with this INCREDIBLY nicely-designed website promoting a company that makes those cardboard Point Of Sale Units that you see erected at the end of a checkout lane (for example). And yes, I know, that’s what I thought, but, I promise, by the time you’ve finished scrolling this you’ll find yourself feeling unexpectedly-thrilled by the excellent deployment of corrugated cardboard that’s on display here.
  • Recently Extinct Species: Presented without comment: “This website attempts to document the world’s many recently extinct (126ka–present), missing and rediscovered species and subspecies. An impossible task given that many of these have no doubt gone extinct without ever being recorded by science (termed “Dark extinctions”). While many others are so little known that there is scarcely anything to document now, and so in a secondary sense are lost as well. Luckily, it is possible for us to learn more about them through the discovery of (sub)fossil remains or (re)discovery of specimens in museums and private collections. This combined with increasingly sophisticated scientific methods of study, invariably driven by brilliant minds or technological advances, can help to recover these foregone species from the informational abyss. Most importantly, this ‘new’ information can hopefully help rediscover them as living populations. Different species have different life histories, and no single method of attempted capture/documentation can succeed for the entire gamut of living species which inhabit vastly different environments from snowy alps to peat bogs, and have greatly variable lifespans, life stages, traits and ecological niches. Developing idiosyncratic capture methods greatly increases our chances of success, and potentially offers us an extremely rare second chance to save them from extinction.” I recommend you go to the ‘animals’ section and just scroll down and read the topline taxonomy to get a scale of the dizzying extent of what we have done.
  • Identifive: This is INFURIATING, mainly because I am so so so bad at it and I can’t quite explain why that is. Each day, your task is to find the single complete five-letter word hidden in the grid, wordsearch style – it can be forwards or backwards, vertically, horizontally or diagonally. You have a few opportunities to reduce the size of the grid to make the task easier, but know that that is CHEATING and that I think less of you as a result – honestly, I have sworn at this SO MUCH this week and you will too.
  • SNES Party: Finally this week, a speculative one – I only found this this morning via Andy, and I wasn’t able to make it work for me in the cursory three minutes I spent fiddling with it at approximately 634am today; that said, Andy’s a thorough man, and if he’s linked to it then I expect it almost certainly DOES work, in which case WOW are you in luck – this site lets you load up one of an insane selection of old SNES Roms, and then share the link with upto four friends for EXCITING MULTIPLAYER FUN! So you could play Final Fight together, or Super BomberMan (I nearly failed my IB because of Super BomberMan – good times!) or any one of about 100 different titles; practically crack cocaine, this, if you can get it running.

By Richard Vergez

OUR FINAL MIX THIS WEEK IS BY TOAKA AND WHILST I CAN’T REALLY ACCURATELY DESCRIBE ITS STYLE I CAN INFORM YOU THAT THE SOUNDCLOUD TAGS ON THIS ONE ARE ‘TROPICAL’ AND ‘BALEARIC’ AMONG OTHERS, AND THAT THOSE FEEL BROADLY ACCURATE AND I THINK YOU WILL LIKE IT! 

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

  • La Muerte De Un Perrito: Not, as far as I can tell, anything to do with the death of any small dogs whatsoever, this Tumblr instead posts a bunch of vaguely dreamy, vaporwave-inflected art which I find strangely-appealing.
  • Hazel Terry: Not, in fact, a Tumblr! Still, this blog collects (as far as I can tell) nothing but Red Riding Hood-themed content, art and design and craft, and as such *feels* Tumblr-ish, and, as we have long-since decided (or at least since *I* have long-since decided), that’s what counts.

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • Stephanie H Shih: Excellent ceramic work which mimics non-ceramic objects – it’ll make sense when you click, I promise, and the execution’s far better than you’d expect; the used condom in particular is masterful (I am being wholly serious here).

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

  • The Louvre Is Rebranding: I think it’s fair to say that almost everyone alive in the Global North has probably heard far, far more about the rebranding of a largely-unused website than they might ordinarily wish, and as such I’m disinclined to give That Fcuking Man’s latest GALAXY-BRAINED business decision much by way of additional attention. That said, if you’re interested in reading the backstory about why That Fcuking Man is obsessed with the letter ‘X’ and how this is all basically a result of him getting comprehensively schooled by the big boys of the PayPal Mafia back in the day, then this link here will see you right (sorry, it’s a Twitter thread (I AM NOT CALLING IT FCUKING ‘X’ I REFUSE I REFUSE I REFUSE) but, well, you’ll cope). The rest of you, click the main link to read a lovely bit of satire by McSweeney’s which basically nails the whole thing in typically stylish fashion. Will Twitter become WeChat? Will they ever bother changing the logo across all the various products? Will…will it go back to being Twitter in a few months when That Fcuking Man realises that you cannot create a single-letter brand (as my friend Rob points out, it didn’t work for Q Magazine and it won’t work here)? Is Elon Musk the only person alive who really, really misses that late-00s era in which every single FMCG product acquired an ‘XXXTREME’ variant to appeal exclusively to baggy-trousered teenage masturbators? ONLY TIME WILL TELL!
  • A Good Prospect: I’m conscious of the fact that the past few Curios have all majored quite hard on topics around commodities extraction and their environmental impact, but, well, I’m reading quite a lot about it at the moment, and it’s interesting (to me at least) and it’s important, I think, and, well, you can always skip the first few longreads and go straight to the end where it tends to get more fictional and emo if you like. For those of you who can be bothered, though, I unreservedly recommend this superb long article in which the author visits the most recent mining industry jamboree which took place in Canada earlier this year and which featured a buoyant atmosphere as the various Rio Tintos of the world gloried in the fact that the global demand for minerals and metals engendered by the need for rapid electrification of everything means that they are QUIDS IN for the next few decades – and, because theirs is an industry now central for the GREENING OF THE PLANET, they can now basically claim environmental credits and kudos merely by dint of existing! This is, honestly, so so interesting – a picture of an industry I know nothing about, and one which is so inherently-connected to the way in which modern society is going to develop over the rest of the century and beyond.
  • The GPT Revolution is a Fantasy: An indicator of how quickly AI is moving at the moment is the speed at which we’re shuffling along the Gartner hype curve – barely 10 months on from the initial ChatGPT release, we’re now firmly into ‘trough of disillusionment’ territory, with articles cropping up asking whether GPT-4 is getting dumber (to which the answer is: inconclusive, but probably not actually) and whether in fact the hype around the utility of LLMs is overblown (to which the answer is: yes, in lots of ways, but also really not at all in others and it’s the others which you need to pay attention to I think). This piece by Paris Marx is similarly disillusioned, but for slightly different reasons – they posit that the lies about its big-ticket efficacy (cf ‘IT WILL CHANGE SEARCH FOR EVER’ – er, not yet it won’t!) are effectively covering up all the way sin which it is fcuking things up already, left right and centre, and the ways in which it’s soon going to be used to fcuk up even more. I’m broadly in agreement with Marx’s overall thesis, although I think I’m probably more bullish on the long-term impact of this stuff – honestly, I do firmly believe that AI is going to be an overall boon to us as a species; I also believe, possibly more firmly, that the intervening bit of time between now and ‘it being an amazing and transformative tool that makes everything better’ is going to be incredibly fcuking messy and not a little unpleasant.
  • Cnut-ing AI: My semi-regular link to Ethan Mollick’s blognewsletterthing next (although in Mr Mollick’s defence, his title is significantly better than mine); this week, he writes about the futility of attempting to keep generative AI outside of the workplace, or to control its use in any meaningful way, and instead offers a series of principles to help organisations and leaders integrate the useful bits of it into their practice and workflow to best effect. Honestly, if you’re in any way involved in the thankless and miserable task that is ‘integrating this tech into our business in a way that makes us more productive and ultimately richer whilst at the same time hopefully not resulting in us sacking 90% of the workforce’ then there will be huge swathes of this that you can effectively copy and paste.
  • AI For Newsrooms: With the news last week that Google was touting an AI assistant to newsrooms to ‘help’ (lol) journalists churn the content even faster, and the constant stream of media outlets embarrassing themselves by getting caught out using GPT-generated copy without telling anyone (there was an astonishing example from London on the Inside the other week – sadly corrected within 24h, and not archived for posterity – where they did a whole ‘places to watch the women’s world cup in London’ post which it was clear had been entirely GPT-penned because NONE OF THE PUBS IT FEATURED EXISTED), it feels timely that Nieman Lab has compiled this selection of different newsrooms’ stated approaches to the use of machine-generated words in their work. I genuinely hope that none of you have to write any ‘we use AI’-type disclaimers for your businesses, but, in case you do, this might contain some useful pointers of things you should think of.
  • China & Tech Momentum: More on China this week; this is long-term China watcher and author of a regular annual ‘Year in China’ roundup Dan Wang on the current state of innovation in the country and the extent to which it’s likely to be impacted by factors both economic and political. Really interesting, if a touch wonk-y: “A gradual slowdown in economic growth won’t break technological momentum. But politics might. Start with the external environment: fewer large markets are open to Chinese technology exports than ten years ago. For any Chinese product that might rise to the attention of a Congressperson, the US is fairly hostile. Europe remains open, but it too is grumbling about protection. A huge blow to Chinese tech firms in recent years was the loss of the Indian market. One of the many surprises 2020 was the deadly skirmish between Chinese and Indian troops that erupted after decades of relative calm. In the aftermath of the brawl, India’s government locked Chinese companies out of a market many staked growth plans on. India is not fully closed, and Chinese firms still have a lot of markets to export to. But that set has shrunk, and who can be sure that Beijing’s diplomatic and military posture won’t hurt markets for other entrepreneurs?”
  • China’s Data Classification Class: Another of Jeffrey Ding’s translations of local Chinese reporting, once again on the phenomenon of ‘data cleaners’ – a growing professional class employed to annotate and ‘clean’ the training data used to create nascent AI models. This is SO interesting, not least as a potential glimpse into what is likely to become a not-insignificant global industry over the next few years – how do you feel about a future in which the two remaining jobs for people to do are either helping to train baby AIs or helping dying people wipe their ar$es? I feel pretty good about it, ngl.
  • How Saudi is Buying the World: One of the big stories of the summer from the world of football has been the emergence of the Saudi league as an economic powerhouse, doing much what the Chinese league did 10 years or so ago and buying up a host of Europe-based star players on contracts so eye-wateringly generous that even a man of such NOTORIOUSLY HIGH moral fibre as LGBTQ+ ally Jordan ‘I’ll do anything to help (as long as ‘anything’ doesn’t mean ‘refusing to support a nakedly-homophobic regime’s international sportswashing project’)’ Henderson can’t help but be tempted. This is the rough hook for this decent New Statesman piece which looks at the many ways in which MBS is flexing the petrodollars to secure his subjects’ futures. I personally found the Black Panther stuff running through the article an irritating distraction (sorry! I just hate Marvel films!), but other than that this is a reasonable overview of the what and, to an extent, the why of the Saudi project.
  • Ad Industry Losers: As a rule I try not to feature too much writing about advermarketingpr, mainly because the vast majority of it is awful tripe which says the square root of fcuk all and is written for, and by, idiots. On this occasion I’ll make an excepotion, though – this interview in Contagious with a guy called Michael Farmer is, on the one hand, a puff-piece to promote Farmer’s new business book, but on the other is a genuinely smart read which delivers a selection of what I consider to be self-evident truths about the agency model (not just advertising – PRs could learn from this too) and why it is, fundamentally, fcuked (and not getting any less fcuked). “I think creativity really is divorced from business practices generally across the industry. The focus on creativity is a bit of a cop out. It’s easier to be creative than it is to deliver growth. But if you do it [deliver growth], you get paid highly for it. The consulting firms get paid five times the cost of their people, agencies get paid two times the cost of their cheaper people. There’s a huge difference.” INJECT IT! INJECT IT INTO MY VEINS!
  • How To Search: Once again I find myself linking to Gwern – sometimes there’s no choice, you know. This is SO GOOD and SO USEFUL and, honestly, every single one of you should read this because it will make your lives BETTER. Gwern is a famously massive geek – I don’t know them, but I get the impression that this is not a designation that they would argue with particularly – and this is a MASSIVELY GEEKY and also HUGE guide to being good at Google. Honestly, even now at the fag-end of the first search era when the core product is a bit broken and a lot of the cool tricks you used to know simply don’t function any more, there is SO MUCH BENFIT to be gained from getting just 5% better at ‘finding stuff on the internet’, and this, if you manage to read and digest it all, will probably improve your Googling ability by about 15% which basically makes you an informational Superman. I’m only half-joking (and I am firmly convinced that ‘being good at search’ will be a useful skill for longer than ‘prompt engineering’) (but, er, don’t come and laugh at me if that turns out to be very wrong indeed).
  • Going Viral Sucks: This is, fine, not a wholly-original point of view, but it’s interesting to hear it articulated so cogently by someone who (I am pretty sure) is of a generation brought up on the TikTok virality lottery and tHe CrEaToR eCoNoMy and the idea that a few million views once every month or two can pay your grocery bills…it does make me wonder how much longer the current top-ranking social media model (to whit: put enough coins in the machine (upload enough content to our platform) and you have a chance to WIN BIG (get 10m views and earn a cut of ad revenue)) is going to fool people for.
  • Modern Moderation: A WIRED article that looks at two recent moderation-led online dramas – Reddit’s ongoing meltdown around the site’s refusal to meaningfully-acknowledge the role of its hundreds of unpaid mods in making the site a broadly-functional bit of internet rather than the unusable sub-Chan basement it would otherwise have become, and BlueSky’s inexplicable failure to stop people using hatewords in their usernames which has spiralled into a not-insignificant existential crisis for the nascent Twitteralike – which, fine, are VERY ‘internet culture’ and a bit inside-baseball, but, equally, is an excellent series of examples of why content moderation is, I think, one of the most significant and significantly-underestimated fields of the modern era. No joke – am increasingly of the opinion that future versions of us will look back at the past 20-odd years and be astonished that we applied so little thought and rigour and care to administering communities that are as significant as those meatspace arenas we spend so much time legislating around.
  • Internet Cafes: Possibly my favourite nonfiction read of the week, this one, and another excellent piece of reporting from Rest of World (I have said this before but it bears repeating – it is SUCH a good outlet), looking at the phenomenon of internet cafes and the different ways around the world in which they have reinvented themselves to stay relevant (or, in some places, the ways in which they haven’t and are therefore dying). This is fascinating, not least because of the national variations in the demographics of who uses them, and what for, and because of the sense of intense nostalgia the whole article will elicit in anyone who ever had to spend 30m slots checking their emails at a glacial pace while travelling (also, a special shout out to the many, many men I have observed over the years using internet cafes to unashamedly enjoy their favourite flavour of bongo – WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?).
  • Expanding the Cirque Brand: I have never seen a Cirque du Soleil show, and am unlikely to ever do so – that said, the brand is internationally-ubiquitous and even though I’ve never seen the spangles up-close I could give you a vague idea of what I thought the brand ‘means’ (sorry). The people who run it, though, don’t think it ‘means’ enough, specifically not to young people and certainly not to the sort of people (ie me) who would rather eat their own faces than pony up several hundred dollars to watch people in spandex do the splits 40 feet above their head – which is why they have brought in some BRAND CONSULTANTS to help them expand Cirque’s relevance and bring new product lines to the fore, and, basically, turn it into something akin to the Hard Rock Cafe’. This is, obvjectively, very, very funny, though you get the distinct impression that the two brand consultants, whose agency Cirque is working with and who feature heavily throughout, may be…less-thrilled with the tenor of the piece. “They keep group chats with their clients going all day, sending articles, songs, videos or TikToks that relate to the work, which in Cirque’s case they call “Cirquecore.” “Has there ever been a CIRQUE Barbie?” read one recent text from Cultique. “HERMES’ new fragrance is ‘the sun as perfume,’” read another. “I also am interested to think of Cirque’s performance as religion,” Ms. Unger wrote to the group one day. “People are more spiritual than ever, esp. Gen Z.”” Just…wow:
  • Messi in Miami: The New Yorker paints a lovely, if slightly sad, picture of the madness of Messimania in Miami, and the feeling of knowing that you’re watching one of the greatest humans ever to do a specific thing doing that specific thing for almost the last time.
  • Planes, Trains and Souzamaphones: This is VERY OLD – 13 years old, in fact! – but it is written by my friend Timo who shared it with me this week, and it is funny and heartwarming and feels appropriate to feature in the here and now because it very much smacks of an Old Era of the web, and an Old Era of social media, when everything was a little more hopeful and open and we were still excited at the possibility of THE WEB CONNECTING US ALL rather than, as is more the case in 2023, being terrified of exactly what the people with whom we are now connected are thinking and doing and saying and poisoning the information table with. This is the story of how Timo tried to beat the ashcloud – REMEMBER THAT, EH? – and make it back to the UK for a gig. Did he make it? READ THE PIECE AND FIND OUT FFS.
  • Ken’s Last Movie: Eagle-eyed readers may have noticed something of a lack of BARBENHEIMER content in Curios over the past month – this is mainly because a) I generally have no interest in cinema; b) I figure you have probably seen enough of it elsewhere not to need my EXPERT CURATORIAL INVOLVEMENT. I will, though, make an exception for this little piece, which tells the strange, slightly-sad story of the breakdancing-and-softcore flick ‘Delivery Boys’, directed by Ken Handler – the man whose mother named the ‘Ken’ doll after him, and who as a result of his parents’ insane wealth basically never had to work a day in his life. As the author describes it, this piece basically answers the following BURNING question: “How did a self-styled auteur with money to burn end up directing a raunchy sex comedy held together with breakdancing scenes? Delivery Boys is a mystery wrapped in an enigma: a turducken of a tale that stuffs race, class, and sex into the worn carcass of an absurdist plot, brines it in a little sexual harassment and trusses it up with the workaday labor of the adult film industry.” This may be the most 80s thing you will read all year.
  • Overdosing on Russian Propaganda: The inimitable Gary Shteyngart (let me take this opportunity to once again recommend to each and every one of you his novel ‘Super Sad True Love Story’, one of the best books I have ever read and certainly the very best about How The Web Is Fcuking Us’) recounts his experience of sitting and watching five entire days of Russian TV and What It Tells Us About The War. This is very funny in parts, but also very, very sad indeed – there’s something about the repeated underlying violence of the rhetoric and the subject matter of the shows Shteyngart describes that’s honestly very bleak, and makes me quite disinclined to want to go and live in Russia anytime soon (aside from the whole ‘warmongering dictator’ thing).
  • Jungle Wedding: I don’t ordinarily include links to stuff I’d classify as a ‘hate-read’, and I don’t quite think this essay fits that exact bill, but it’s fair to say that I didn’t…wholly warm to the narrator here. That said, it also made me laugh out loud a number of times and I appreciate that I might just have a lower tolerance than some of the rest of you for the general ‘no-nonsense Lesbian who’s in touch with her spiritual side too!’ tone of the authorial  voice. This is the story of how Melissa Johnson attended a wedding ceremony in the Guatemalan jungle (yes, Ms Johnson *is* from Los Angeles! How did you guess?!) and how she and her intrepid party of celebrants and attendees (and local guides, who I really hope were well-remunerated for their work because, honestly, this sounds like a LOT) conquered (or at least broadly survived) the jungle.
  • Ron’s Place: I love this story and I love the pictures and I love the fact that there’s a happy ending (no spoilers) – Ron’s Place is the home of a now-deceased artist called Ron Gittens who lived in Birkenhead and whose house became, over the course of his (obsessive, ever-creating) life became a living monument to Ron’s craft and basically to whatever was going through the inside of his head at any given time. This is a wonderful, and sensitively-written, portrait of a classic outsider artist, and I now really want to visit the house and see the work (particularly the leonine fireplace which, honestly, is a masterpiece).
  • The Greatest Scam Ever Written: A pretty astonishing tale of mass fraud, this – come for the incredible story of how Patrice Runner created a system that over years scammed tens of millions of dollars out of gullible, lonely and vulnerable people worldwide who would write to ask a French psychic for their fortune (it all makes sense, I promise); stay for the bit at the end where Runner goes to trial, and which features one of the most astonishing attempted defences I have ever heard deployed in law. Seriously, the chutzpah is AMAZING and I am half-tempted to see whether I can use it as justification for one or two ‘spicy’ campaign ideas I have in the locker.
  • Friendship: Finally this week, Devon Gayelin in the Paris Review writes about friendships and romantic relationships and how they interrelate and how, eventually, they die, and this is beautiful, beautiful writing.

By Oleksander Shatokhin

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

Webcurios 21/07/23

Reading Time: 32 minutes

I had a genuinely unsettling experience last night; I was at some sort of PR event thing (it’s organised by a friend of mine, attendance was an act of solidarity rather than an endorsement of an industry I fundamentally despise, honest guv) and it turned out that an unsettling number of people in attendance had at one point or another worked with me at various points in my unsuccessful and peripatetic joke of a ‘career’, and so I ended up standing there while various people I know to varying degrees exchanged ‘amusing’ anecdotes about my professional (mis)demeanour(s) while I stood there feeling not unlike Hugh Grant in that bit in Four Weddings when he gets seated at a wedding table with all his ex girlfriends.

Anyway, hi to anyone I saw yesterday and, also, fcuk you.

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and one day (ONE DAY) people will stop going on about that fcuking email I sent that time.

By Piero Percoco

WE KICK OFF WITH A MIX OF WHAT FORMER EDITOR PAUL DESCRIBES AS ‘AMBIENT, DUB AND FOUND AUDIO’, AND WHO AM I TO ARGUE? NO FCUKER, ETC! 

THE SECTION WHICH WONDERS WHAT SORT OF SOCIOPATH YOU HAVE TO BE IN ORDER TO SCALE THE DIZZY HEIGHTS OF THE SUN’S SHOWBIZ HIERARCHY, PT.1:  

  • Viola The Bird: We start this week with something…nice! Someone got in touch last week to gently chide me for kicking off the previous edition of Curios with a link that was basically a small glimpse into the future of AI-enabled killer war machines (SORRY MARTHA), and as such this week we open with a link that, honestly, you’d have to be a cold, dead, unfeeling husk not to be charmed by – ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?! Ahem. Viola The Bird is the latest digital toy thing by Google, which uses machine learning to help you play the role of a preturnaturally-talented avian cellist, playing along to a selection of big ticket classical numbers like Holst’s ‘Planet’s or ‘Ode To Joy’ – I presume that the ‘machine learning’ element of this is whatever code exists under the hood to ensure that your spastic scrapings translate into something halfway-melodic, because it’s pretty hard to create anything too cacophonous – instead, enjoy the soothing rhythm you fall into as you use your mouse (other input devices are available) to draw the bow back and forth across the strings in vague time with the prompts as beautiful, feathery and magnicficently-purple Viola makes sweet, sweet music from your machine. This is lovely, and, honestly, if you’ve had a trying week I’d probably just stop here because it only gets worse from this point onwards.
  • AI TV: Well this is interesting. You will, of course, recall that a few months back I featured a link to an academic paper which detailed a Stardew Valley-style AI simulation in which individual AI ‘characters’ existed and interacted in a game space to create emergent narratives and a weird sort of computer-generated soap opera – you…you do remember, right? Well this is different, but similar (ish). Imagine a near future in which you can create TV shows other dramatic formats with AI – you have a cast of characters, you throw in a scenario, and *poof!* – a wild script appears! It’s obviously intensely scifi and barely-probable-sounding, but, equally, according to this series of Tweets, it’s also not a totally implausible concept. This is a thread by a company which calls itself The Simulation and which is claiming to be in the process of developing an AI-enabled narrative sandbox which does exactly that – the thread shares a bunch of (what they claim are) AI-generated episodes of South Park, where by The Machine has been trained on a bunch of scripts and the art style, and can now (apparently) spit out whole episodes with dialogue and animation and a vague ‘narrative arc’ and…ok, look, this is obviously dogsh1t in terms of the script (there are no jokes, for one – insert your own gag about its fidelity to the South Park model here, should you wish, but know that I am judging you for your lazy humour) and the voices (also all AI-generated) but, again, I think if all you see here is a poorly-written and poorly-acted script that reads as though it was written by someone who has heard of the concept of ‘humour’ but never actually laughed out loud in their life then you are perhaps missing the point. This, to once again tap the sign, IS THE WORST THIS TECH IS EVER GOING TO BE. Except, to make everything more confusing, there are slight hints that this isn’t quite what it seems – the company behind the animations and the tech is called ‘The Simulation’, and it lists its address as ‘Baudrillard Drive, San Francisco’ (BAUDRILLARD, HYPERREALITY, DO YOU SEE?!?!), which, based on my cursory research, doesn’t actually exist. Basically I have no real idea what’s going on here or what is real and what is fake (welcome to our collectively-uncertain future!), but I do know that those of you still holding on to the belief that human creativity is somehow a magical and unique quality that can never be replicated by machine are in for a series of rude awakenings in the coming few years. Fine, YOU don’t want to watch AI-generated South Park – but I bet there are enough people who will happily consume the machine dreck to make this an economically-attractive model for the content providers to aggressively pursue.
  • Stable Doodle: This flashed me RIGHT BACK a couple of years, to…2018-ish, when OpenAI’s very first DallE toys started appearing and we first got the opportunity to hamfistedly sketch an outline and have The Machine turn it into a horrible, blocky, muddy approximation of a landscape. GOOD TIMES! 5 or so years later, here’s a new version of the same schtick, powered by Stable Diffusion and which is significantly more powerful and significantly less ugly in its outputs – sketch an outline, add a prompt and watch, amazed, as your imagined creation comes to life! This is really impressive and pretty fun, and for those of you who either have a Wacom (other stylus interfaces are available) or who are better than I am at drawing with your mouse, it’s actually a pretty useful tool for creating mockups and quick visualisations (and, as I have just discovered, it is GREAT for creating really, really grotesque faces).
  • Dream Generator: Another in the occasional series of ‘links to really, really impressive devices hacked together with AI to create something genuinely fun, and which I am including here because I desperately want one of you who reads this and who is SUCCESSFUL and WELL=RESPECTED and INFLUENTIAL (lol who am I kidding, you are all just webmongs like me) to sell this sort of thing to a brand because, honestly, HOW ACE IS IT?’ – the Dream Generator is a proof-of-concept device which has been cobbled together from…a bunch of different bits of kit (the fact that the person behind it, one Kyle Goodrich, works for Snap suggests that they might have access to *slightly* better tech than you or I), and which is effectively a camera with an inbuilt AI filter, which lets the photographer apply a bunch of different AI effects to any image they shoot using a lovely little analogue selection wheel. This is SO NICE – frivolous and silly, obvs, but (in the same vein as the AI photobooth or the AI astrology machine) it’s also just delightful and playful and FUN, and basically I remain convinced that the first brand to make something interesting and playful and REAL WORLD using this sort of tech will absolutely clean up from a PR point of view. Which, I know, is an awful sentence to type, but sometimes I can’t help myself. BONUS ADDITIONAL COOL LITTLE HACKED-TOGETHER AI STUFF: this is another wonderfully-imaginative use of image-analysis and generative text tech – a projector which generates a new, short kids’ story and accompanying visual slides each time you turn it on, and which (despite the fact that the stories are, based on this video, somewhat on the simple side) hints at the possibility of some genuinely amazing toys and games. ADDITIONAL BONUS HACKED-TOGETHER AI THING!: this person put a GPT-enabled text-to-voice version of themselves inside a Big Mouth Billy Bass, which, honestly, is possibly the best elevator pitch for a Black Mirror episode I have heard in years.
  • Tommy Parallel: It increasingly feels like the entire metaverse/web3.0/NFT (yes, I know that these are all separate things, but, equally, they all sit in the same mental filing cabinet in my head, the one labelled ‘snake oil and lies’) house of cards is being held together solely by the luxury and fashion industries, who, despite the fact that the whole schtick appears to have been revealed as one of the more frothy bubbles of recent years, seem happy to continue chucking significant sums of money at VIRTUAL WORLDS and DIGITAL CAPSULE COLLECTIONS and ON-CHAIN TRANSFERABLE BIT-BASED CLOTHING SOLUTIONS, which suggests that some people somewhere are still forking out actual fiat cashmoney for this rubbish. WHO ARE YOU, MYSTERIOUS PURCHASERS OF DIGITAL OUTFITS FOR AVATARS THAT WILL NEVER BE USED? Anyway, that’s by way of poorly-written and overwrought (nothing if not self-aware over here) preamble to this latest metaversal aberration, this time commissioned by Tommy Hilfiger and purporting to be…what, exactly? You can buy digital outfits, obvs, which you can then take into a variety of uninhabited virtual worlds whose names you’ve never heard of (Hiberworld, anyone? No, thought not. Although in fairness this stuff does work with VRChat so that you can wear your Tommy drip next time you’re hanging out with all the racist echidnas), you can take your avatar running around a largely-featureless 3d cityscape, entirely uninhabited and with nothing to do…WHO IS PAYING FOR THIS? WHO LOOKS AT THIS AND THINKS ‘YES, THIS IS AN EXCELLENT USE OF BUDGET AND TIME? And, perhaps most puzzlingly of all, who agreed to sign off on this without bothering to check that the English was at least correct? I don’t know about you, but “Show of your style in every world and bridge your online and offline identity” [sic] doesn’t scream ‘premium product’ and HIGH-END LUXE to me. In the vanishingly-unlikely event that anyone reading this has any insight into how and why this exists, please can you tell me?
  • The Return of r/Place: In what is being taken by the Reddit community as a naked bit of PR flummery following some…testing times for the platform, Reddit’s open, collaborative pixelart canvas, Place, has returned for its third iteration, a mere year or so after its last appearance. Obviously this doesn’t quite have the whole ‘shiny and new’ thing going for it anymore, but I still find the general premise and air of collaboration between strangers immensely-pleasing. You can see the canvas-in-progress by clicking the link, and the subReddit has a nice timelapse of the first 24h of the project – it will be fascinating to see where this ends up over the course of the next few days, and the extent to which the politics around the site and the overall issues of API access, moderation, and community vs corporation play out in the eventual artwork (there are…quite a lot of angry messages directed towards the site’s hierarchy dominating the canvas at the time of writing).
  • Human Shader: Orthogonally-related to Place, this is a really interesting (and hugely geeky) little project which has seen a bunch of people working together to solve a bunch of equations, each of which when solved gives an RGB value for a specific pixel within an image, which eventually resolves into an image when all the colour codes have been worked out. Yes, I know, but click the link and I promise you that this will make significantly more sense. This is WONDERFUL, incredibly, incredibly nerdy, and the sort of thing that will briefly give you faith in the wonderful things that people can achieve when working in collaborative concert (now if only we could apply this sort of effort to stuff that matters!).
  • LLaMa2: Would you like to play around with Meta’s new open source LLM? No, you probably don’t care, do you, what with us now being all jaded about the magic of ‘chatting with The Machine’ – still, it’s here, and if you’d like to test it out you can do so courtesy of this version being run on Perplexity. YOU’RE WELCOME!
  • Love Will Save The Day FM: Love WilL Save The Day is a music newsletter compiled by Friend Of Curios Jed Hallam – over the past few years its grown into a proper community of music lovers, and tomorrow there is an ACTUAL RADIO STATION launching, created and curated by the people brought together by Jed’s crate digging and curation. It’s not live yet, but you can sign up to get notified when it kicks off – this is SUCH a nice thing, and a wonderful example of how the web really can bring people together to make lovely stuff (he says, in uncharacteristically-Pollyannaish fashion).
  • Expo 58: Journey back in time by 55 years and visit a digital recreation of the 1958 Expo which, it transpires, was the first big international exhibition-type event after WWII and brought together nations and international institutions to present their vision for a utopian future born from the ashes of conflict. This site lets you take a tour in glorious 3d-modeled CG through the various pavilions of the original Brussels site, accompanied by slightly-less-glorious descriptions delivered by robotic-sounding avatars that are reminiscent of the character models of world leaders from the earliest versions of Sid Meier’s Civilisation series. I really like this – it’s fun, interesting, nicely-presented, and as far as I can tell it’s been put together as part of someone’s Phd research which, frankly, feels like an insane degree of effort and the sort of thing for which one ought really to just be given a doctorate. Kudos to Dr. Anastasia Remes, whose work this apparently is.
  • Storehouse A: I LOVE THIS! It’s a few years old now, I think, and, if I’m nitpicking, it’s a bit shonky in terms of some of the functionality and interface, but the general idea – a gallery-style space which you, the user, explore in the now-legendary style of an ASCII roguelike and through whose corridors you traipse, interacting with the various exhibits and reading poetry and generally just taking in the intensely-web1.0 vibes of the whole thing…as its creator explains, it’s “A text and typography–based virtual exhibition showcasing interactive visual poetry inspired by the lexicon of NetHack” and, honestly, it’s so much nicer than something rendered in poor-quality, low-poly metaversal 3d. There’s a lesson here somewhere.
  • Project E-Ink: On the one hand, times are tough and money is tight and I don’t for a second imagine that anyone reading this has a spare £2,800 to drop on a piece of digital wall tech which exists solely to present newspaper frontpages on a gorgeous, hi-res e-ink display – on the other, I genuinely like this and find the idea of having a rolling selection of frontpages displayed in my kitchen properly appealing. So, er, if anyone who’s ever thought ‘wow, I do love Web Curios, I wish there was some way in which I could show Matt my appreciation’ is reading this, here’s a way! I mean, come on, it’s only fair.
  • Get Well Soon: Well this is quietly devastating. Get Well Soon is an online artwork by Sam Lavigne and Tayla Brain which simply and powerfully collects messages of support scraped from crowdfunding website GoFundMe – specifically, messages left on fundraising campaigns seeking to raise money for medical treatment. “The comments posted on gofundme.com’s medical fundraisers form a revealing archive. These messages express care, well wishes, sympathy and generosity in the face of personal adversity and systemic failure. This is an archive of mutual aid in response to a ruthless for-profit health system. It is an archive that should not exist.” Take a few minutes to read a selection of the messages – this really does kick you right in the gut, and rightly so.
  • Chiptune Archive: Would you like a browsable archive of over 200,000 pieces of chiptune music ripped and scraped from all around the web and playable through a minimal music player? YES YOU WOULD! Obviously your enjoyment of this will largely depend on your appetite for music that sounds like it’s being generated from an NES operating right at the very edge of its capabilities, but presuming that that’s your thing – who doesn’t love the bloops and the burbles? NO FCUKER, etc! – then this will prove a hugely-enjoyable resource. As far as I can tell this is basically the chiptune MOTHERLODE.
  • The Deep Dive: My occasional quest to direct my few remaining readers to other newsletters continues with The Deep Dive, a genuinely great publication which every week sends out a selection of links to super-in-depth YouTube documentaries about a range of different topics. The growth in longform, incredibly-specific documentary deep dives has been one of the more interesting elements of YouTube’s evolution as a platform, and there are some genuinely talented creators making some truly exhaustive enquiries into pop culture, history, music and the like – this is a great way of discovering more of them (although, to be clear, to get the most out of this you will also have to commit to watching about 6h of YouTube doc a week, which may not be compatible with things like ‘having kids’ or ‘having a life that doesn’t involve staring at screens for 80% of your waking existence’).
  • Seal Rescue Ireland: The TikTok account of an Irish seal rescue charity. All of the joy of seals (SO CUTE! Basically like big wet dogs! LOOK AT THEIR FLIPPERS!) with none of the drawbacks (possibly a bit TOO big! Very damp! Smell of fish REALLY STRONGLY!) – this really is a balm for the soul.
  • The Comedy Pet Photo Awards 2023: I don’t know whether it’s the simple fact that it’s been going for a few years now and that there’s a finite number of different ‘funny animal photos’ that it’s possible to capture, or whether the world is simply too fcuked at the moment for me to find solace in a picture of a tortoise messily eating a dandelion (am…am I dead inside? Maybe I am), but I don’t feel that this year’s selection of nominees and winners for the latest Comedy Animal Photo Awards are quite up to scratch – still, you may feel differently, and I will concede that the ‘dog in the weed’ shot is a really nice piece of photography.

By Alicia Savage

OUR NEXT MIX SEES US RETURN TO THE WELCOMING ARMS OF TOM ‘DAPWEARER’ SPOONER AND HIS RELIABLY-EXCELLENT SELECTION OF OLD SOUL AND FUNK ON VINYL! 

THE SECTION WHICH WONDERS WHAT SORT OF SOCIOPATH YOU HAVE TO BE IN ORDER TO SCALE THE DIZZY HEIGHTS OF THE SUN’S SHOWBIZ HIERARCHY, PT.2:      

  • Printernet: This doesn’t feel like a new idea, but let’s not worry about that – let us instead glory in the wonderful marriage of analogue and digital that is embodied in Printernet, a service which lets you pull together a collection of ONLINE WORDS and have them printed out and delivered to you as an actual magazine – you can select up to five ‘content blocks’ which will be compiled, printed, bound and mailed to you at your request, all for $10. Which, fine, is possibly quite a lot of cash for what is effectively a printing service, but I very much like the ethos behind it and the idea of taking the online offline, and, honestly, I’m almost tempted to set up a ‘print on demand’ service for people to get old editions of Curios in magazine format (because, honestly, what could be more wonderfully, blissfully pointless than a newsletter full of links WHICH YOU CAN’T CLICK ON? Art, I tell you, art!). Via Daniel Benneworth-Gray’s newsletter, which is very good.
  • Sweden Sans: Sweden has its own font! You may have been aware of this already, but I confess to being momentarily thrilled by this discovery – it sent me down a small, momentary rabbithole and made me wonder whether every nation on Earth has its own national typeface, and if so whether these are collected anywhere, and what they might all look like (Guatemala: pleasingly rounded; Tajikistan: aggressive serifs; that sort of thing), and whether or not we should, if these don’t already exist, host some sort of international typography design contest…also I’m intrigued as to the usage rights here, and whether there’s some sort of smallprint buried on the site somewhere which suggests that by using Sweden’s font you’re effectively granting ownership of whatever you write to the Swedish state…If anyone can shed any light on the whole ‘typefaces for countries’ thing, please do let me know.
  • Is This How You Feel?: It does feel rather like all the Bad Climate Stuff is happening rather faster than we anticipated – I’ll be honest, I was expecting to have long since shuffled from this mortal coil by the time the whole ‘the earth is basically now just a red-hot fiery space marble’ thing kicked off, and yet here we are in July 2023 with everything looking quite a lot like this might be the beginning of the end (or, more accurately, the end of the beginning) – which makes this link particularly timely. This project is by one Joe Duggan, and is a few years old now – in Joe’s words, “From 2014 to 2015 I approached the world’s leading climate scientists and asked them to respond to one simple question: How does climate change make you feel? Their responses were truly moving. 5 years since the project launched – as Australia burns and floods simultaneously and meaningful global action on climate change appears to be painfully slow if not, totally non-existent, we are revisiting the original contributors and asking them the same question once more.’ITHYF 5′ is a collection of these letters.” The letters here collected, from scientists talking about how they feel about their work, and its meaning, and its possible impact, are heartbreaking – even more so when you realise that you’re looking back at statements written several years ago, and that in the intervening years we have, collectively, achieved what feels very much like the square root of fcuk all when it comes to ameliorating the climate mess.
  • Texts From My Ex: This very much feels like A Bad Idea – still, that’s never stopped us before and is unlikely to do so now! Texts From My Ex is a service which will analyse any conversation thread you feed it (you can, if you’re feeling particularly security-agnostic, give it access to your WhatsApp account, or, more sensibly, you can just feed it the text) and determine the ‘health’ of the relationship embodied in the chat, with the basic premise that it can give you an assessment of how you and your significant other (wife, husband, colleague, gimp) communicate and relate to each other. This is a promo gimmick for a dating app, as far as I can tell, but the premise here feels like something that people might actually be interested in, given the current focus on analysing every single aspect of one’s relationships for ‘toxicity’ and ‘boundaries’ and oh god please can everyone stop talking like an airport self-help book it makes me want to die.
  • The Graphic Design Archives: “The Graphic Design Archive (GDA) at Rochester Institute of Technology documents and preserves the work of significant American graphic designers active from the 1920s to the 1960s, as well as selected contemporary designers working in the modernist traditions. The GDA is a collection maintained within the Cary Graphic Arts Collection and supports all areas of design education at RIT as well as research by scholars from around the world. While many of the GDA collections represent the complete surviving work of a particular designer, some are smaller sample collections that document a portion of a designer’s career. The collections contain original source materials documenting the designers’ working lives, and include such unique items as original artwork, sketchbooks, sculptures, architectural models, reliefs, and printed samples (tear sheets, proofs and sample issues of publications). In addition, many of the archives includes photographs and slides, as well as audio tapes and film.” This is a SUPERB archive for anyone interested in the history and practice of design.
  • Tiler: A fun little webapptoything built by Deepak Gulati and based on the Internet Archive’s record of an old catalogue of ceramic tiles, this lets you create a vast array of different tiled and tesselated patterns from the classic designs from the 1800s. If you’re interested you can read more about the project here, but otherwise it’s just a really enjoyable tool to fiddle with and make pleasingly-geometric patterns.
  • Uranienborg: Roald Amundsen, as you all doubtless know, was a Norwegian arctic explorer and all-round action man who lived in the late-19th and early-20th century and is something of a Norwegian national hero – this website is all about the house he lived in, which is now a museum but which those of you unable to make the pilgrimage to scandiland can explore via the medium of this site, which lets you see a detailed 3d scan of the property and explore its various rooms and learn the stories behind Amundsen’s life – I appreciate that not everyone will derive intense satisfaction from the ability to explore a three-dimensional model of the toilet of a 19thC Norwegian house in which a renowned explorer once defecated, but for those few souls who have been waiting their whole life for such an opportunity then, well, YOU’RE WELCOME.
  • The Perpetual Stew Club: This is, I appreciate, Very New York (specifically, Very Brooklyn), but I am charmed by the fact that this is happening (and also Annie Raewerda who’s responsible makes a bunch of internet stuff I really like and so I’m happy to pimp her projects). This is a small website alerting people who live in New York to the fact that Annie has been cooking the same pot of stew for (at the time of writing) 43 days now, and that if they want to try some they can come to one of her weekly stew evenings where she doles out the slop and people can bring their own ingredients to contribute to the forevermeal. The concept of ‘perpetual stew’ is not a new one, but there’s something very NOW about the idea of this sort of frugal, communal eating project (or, again, perhaps it’s just VERY NEW YORK) which I very much enjoy. This feels very much like the sort of thing Vittles might end up replicating in London (and I mean that in a nice, non-snarky way).
  • Blackout: Digital toys that help you create blackout poems are not new per se, but reader Thom Wong sent me this variant on the theme which rather appealed to me; each time you visit the page you’re presented with one of nearly 10,000,000 excerpts from Project Gutenberg which you can then turn into your very own little pome by exposing a selection of words. Simple, but there’s something pleasing about the fact that each reload gives you the chance to create something utterly unique.
  • Enigma: Cards on the table here – I do not understand this AT ALL and as such I can’t adequately assess whether it actually does what I think it’s meant to do or whether it’s just an elaborate and nicely-designed hoax. Still, those of you with a better understanding of cryptography might be able to enlighten me as to whether this is a Real Thing or not – this is (apparently) a working model of the Enigma machine, famously used by The Bad People in WWII to hide their nefarious communications from The Good People. This model seems to be a working digital representation of the encryption mechanism, showing you in detail how the cryptographic mechanism functioned – but, as stated, the lack of anything resembling an ELI5 narrative for idiots means that I’m left staring at the graphics on the page like an orangutan attempting to master binary. Maybe you’ll fare better. Still, it LOOKS nice.
  • Dudel: A lovely little creative apptoy, this – every day the app gives you a different shape which you can use as an inspirational canvas on which to draw. This is based on the basic principle that we all see shapes and patterns in everything, much in the same way as we see shapes in clouds, and can function either as a soothing quotidian creative exercise OR as some sort of long-running Rorschach test whereby you can undertake an ongoing assessment of your own mental health (if you find yourself turning the shapes into corpses three days in a row, seek help!).
  • Reflect: Many years ago I briefly became obsessed with Evernote- which, you may have heard, is going through something of a time right now – until I realised that, actually, I don’t actually care that much about ordering and sorting the vast piles of crap in my head after all. Still, if you are someone who wishes that they had all of their memories, their thoughts, the weird little lists that they make on the back of receipts, their dreams and their brainfarts all linked and annotated and interconnected then you may find that Reflect is the perfect solution for you – as is the law in mid-2023, it obviously has an AI LAYER (fcuk knows why, if I’m honest, but I think there’s a vague ‘turn your scattered thoughts into coherent prose via the magic of GPT’ thing built in here), but the main sell here is the annotated infodump and the whole ‘extension of your brain’ thing – it’s priced at $10 a month, which you may or may not think is worth paying for what’s basically just a fancy digital filing cabinet for your extended brain.
  • World of Playing Cards: Have you ever lain awake at night dreaming feverishly of a future in which you can have every single piece of information about the historty of playing cards at your fingertips? REJOICE FOR THAT FUTURE IS HERE! World of Playing Cards is a pleasingly-old-school site which has obviously been aroujnd for a while and which seemingly exists for no other purpose than to afford the curious and the obsessive an opportunity to glory in the wonderful ludic history of suits and face cards and jokers and the like. This is, honestly, GREAT – the section of ‘playing cards from around the world’ is a partciular highlight – although I confess to being a bit disappointed that there doesn’t appear to be a section dedicated to the ‘exotic’ playing cards which every 1980s schoolchild purchased on trips to The Continent (if you claim otherwise, know that I know you are lying).
  • Rail Cow Girl: In a week strangely replete with Norwegian links, this is the YouTube channel of a train driver who films her beautiful, relaxing, picturesque journeys across Norway, though snowfields and past fjords, encompassing some stunning scenery. This is basically the pinnacle of ‘slow TV (or at least I presume it is – these videos are LONG, and as a result I’ve only seen bits of them and so can’t totally guarantee that it doesn’t all get a bit ‘Aliens’ around the three-hour mark).
  • You Are Atlas: I always say this, but I am SUCH a sucker for sites that track the number of people currently visiting them and which alter their content accordingly in reaction – You Are Atlas is very silly and totally pointless (just how we like it) – it tells you how many people are currently on the site, and tells you that if noone is there  the sky will fall (the site’s visitors are Atlas, holding up the sky – DO YOU SEE?). To date, the sky has fallen 352 times – keep this webpage open forever and ensure that it NEVER FALLS AGAIN.
  • James Yawn’s Rockets: A wonderful example of monomaniacal online weirdness, this – James Yawn has been maintaining this website for YEARS, on which he documents his enthusiasm for, and adventures in, home-made rocketry. James apparently specialises in making propellant from sugar, which sounds, frankly, insane and like the sort of thing that were you to attempt it in London might get you in not insignificant trouble with The Authorities, but which you can probably get away with if you like in, say, North Dakota and your nearest neighbour is approximately 60 miles to the West. Anway, if you’d like to experiment with blowing things up – and, quite possibly, yourself, and your neighbours – then you will ADORE this. NB – Web Curios accepts no responsibility for injury or criminal charges resulting from your use of this website, or indeed for any lists that you might end up finding yourself on as a result of manufacturing 300 kilos of sucrose-based rocket propellant in your kitchen.
  • Fudge: Tetris, but backwards! Yes, I know that that makes no sense whatsoever but I promise that as soon as you start playing it will all fall into place (lol).
  • Snip It: This is a fun little game, knocked up as part of an AI games jam – explore inside different classic paintings, clipping away elements to see what lies within, and behind, the different canvases. This is imaginative and really nicely made, considering it was hacked together in a couple of days, and it’s a good example of some of the ways in which generative AI can be used to accelerate the development of things like this (and, creatively, how the idea of ‘imagining outside the frame’ can be used for ludic purposes). BONUS AI ART GAME: this is a version of 2048 which uses AI-generated image assets; derivative, but, again, a nice example of how this makes reasonable-quality in-game artwork available to all (mobile only, FYI).
  • All of the Flash Games: Look, this is a truly incredible resource and it contains basically every Flash game ever made, and if you spent any time on Newgrounds or similar in the early-00s then this is basically like time travel. You will get NOTHING ELSE done today if you click on this link – but, look, your job’s pointless and we’re all dying, so who the fcuk cares, eh? BONUS FLASH ARCHIVE: more games here!
  • Big Ben: Finally this week, Matt Round has created something genuinely brilliant – a word game which thanks to its ingenious construction presents you with an entirely different puzzle depending on the exact time, to the second, that you land on the site. This is so, so smart – the almost-infinite replayability, the simple game mechanics, the nice touches like the day/night cycle in the background…honestly, Matt is SO GOOD at these things, and I am always slightly baffled that he’s not permanently assailed by agencycunts like you (and, ok, like me) begging him to make cool things for their dreadful clients (to be clear, I have no idea whether Matt would actually take these commissions – so, er, sorry Matt if you are now inundated with requests for stuff that you would rather eat your own face than build). This is GREAT, and incredibly addictive.

By Christopher Burk 

 YOUR LAST MIX THIS WEEK IS THIS SUPREMELY-CURATED SELECTION OF OLD GROOVES AND LOUNGE AND PSYCHEDELIA MIXED BY AL USHER!

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

  • 1 Million Cakes: I can’t in fact confirm or deny whether there are indeed a million cakes here, but there are certainly LOTS.

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • Manuel Alvares Diestro: Via the excellent Things Magazine comes the Insta feed of photographer Manuel Alvares Diestro, whose imagery focuses (mostly) on high-rise and urban architecture in incongruous locations. You may not think that sounds like your sort of thing, but you are wrong.
  • Toon Joosen: Cut-out, collage-y art with a strong focus on the interplay between image and text, this is excellent work.
  • Gregory Climer: Gregory Climer makes textile-based art which features imagery drawn from gay porn; I never thought that I would want a quilt embroidered with a low-res pixellated image of a leather daddy, and yet, well, now I find that that is EXACTLY what I want.

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

  • Starmer: A typically-superb bit of writing and analysis in the London Review of Books which looks at the current incarnation of the Labour Party under Keir (KEITH LOL!) Starmer, and, with every indication being that that Tories are heading for an historic kicking in 2024 (please god, let the kicking be terminal), what the UK might expect from Labour Government. Whilst I’m possibly less-certain than author James Butler that Labour are quite as much of a shoo-in as he seems to think (never underestimate the capacity of ‘the left – inverted commas because, well, ‘left’ doesn’t really feel like the right designation for this lot – to fcuk themselves spectacularly on the home straight!), I otherwise found myself nodding along throughout this article, which offers a reasonably-dispassionate assessment of Starmer’s authoritarian and very-much-centrist-at-best leanings and why that perhaps doesn’t bode hugely well, either for the country or for the party’s prospects of securing more than one term. As Butler points out, “The point isn’t just that those around Starmer are more cautious and less ambitious than they make themselves out to be, but that their supposedly revisionist energy calcifies all too easily into dogmatic assertion and a dreary repetition of past approaches. Promising to stick to Conservative spending plans for two years – a carbon copy of Blair and Brown’s commitment in 1997 – is an example of this. Blair inherited the best economic situation a Labour government had ever seen; a Starmer government will inherit a smoking ruin. Cloning New Labour’s policies is not a route to replicating Blair’s deft reading of his political moment.”
  • Green Extractivism: An excellent essay by Leandro Vergara-Camus, contributing to the growing corpus of literature I’ve read this year that gently points out that just ‘going green’ perhaps isn’t the absolute end to questions around sustainability. This is really, really interesting, and not a little sobering, around questions of resource extraction and what exactly we mean when we talk about ‘green’ initiatives, and the extent to which it’s even a meaningful label whan what we really mean is not so much ‘environmentally friendly’ as ‘environmentally unfriendly in a different way to that which our current setup is’, and how we might want to start thinking about global economic justice and redistribution in ways that are fairer and more equitable to those nations which currently hold the keys to our current vision of a ‘green’ future.This is published as part of the Land and Climate Review, which contains a lot of smart writing about related issues and is generally worth a read should you be interested in this sort of thing (or if you just want to feel really, really miserable about the future).
  • The World China Is Building: An interesting-if-flawed article in Noema, looking at the extent to which much of the future extractive economy referenced in the above piece is owned by China, and how in fact many of the countries in the second world are, increasingly, also effectively owned by China, and what that means in terms of East/West relations and the future of imperialism in the 21st Century. This is FASCINATING stuff, but there are a few things that gave me pause – for a start, I could have done without the (not particularly successful, to my mind) authorial digression at the start of the piece into what one can learn about a nation’s character from its poetic styles; also, I checked with my friend Alex who knows about China and who lived there and he was…somewhat sceptical about some of the claims made in the piece, based on stories such as this one and this one which give some idea of quite how fcuked the Chinese economy currently is, which rather gives lie to the broad ‘THE NEXT EMPIRE’ vibe which suffuses the piece. Still, a decade or so on from the peak of the ‘Belt & Road Initiative’, it’s interesting to see how far and wide China’s influence – and, depending on your perspective, control – now extends.
  • Frivolous Mental Health: Freddie De Boer writes a slightly-ranty screed, which I found myself nodding along with wholeheartedly throughout, about the weird ways in which Western society characterises mental health and the commodification of both the broad concept of mental illness and the vocabulary that exists around it by social media, and the simultaneous consecration of mental illness as INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT and NO BIG DEAL and and and. Honestly, I firmly believe that the past ten years or so of ‘mental health discourse’ will at some point in the future be understood to have had an actively-deleterious impact on our ability to talk seriously and meaningfully about the insides of our heads and what they feel like.
  • Working With AI: A rare Benedict Evans link now – I sort-of assume that Evans is widely-read enough that if you want to read him you already do, but will make an exception for this piece as it’s a really good bit of thinking and writing about The Coming AI Jobs Apocalypse. This is significantly more optimistic about AI and the world of white collar work than I am – but Benedict Evans is smarter than I am, so I would probably be inclined to listen to him rather than me. His overall thesis is that there is no practical reason why this latest wave of automation should have a greater or lesser impact on the way in which we work and global employment levels than previous waves of automation (cf the printing press, the textile mill, etc), and he lays out his arguments persuasively – I would say, though, that I have two main objections to the thinking laid out here, to whit: 1) AI automation is categorically different to other previous forms of automation insofar as it grants the potential to eliminate whole swathes of professions, including the ones invented to replace the initial disappeared jobs – the comparison often used is ‘well, photography didn’t kill painting’, but in this case you’re eliminating not just the process of painting *but the need for a person at all*, which feels to me to be categorically different on a fundamental level; and 2) I think Evans, and a lot of the more utopian (or less-dystopian) commentators on this stuff severely underestimate quite how many people’s jobs involve producing pointless stuff that noone cares about and which doesn’t matter, and quite how easy it will be to give those tasks to The Machine because, well, NOONE CARES and IT DOESN’T MATTER.
  • AI is an Existential Threat: This piece offers an interesting bit of analysis on what the author perceives to be the *real* threat of AI – not the apocalypse, not the job losses, but instead the fact that, if it progresses as it currently looks as though it might, it may well render us even more intellectually lazy and bovine than we already are. I know this sounds like doomer hyperbole, but think about it for a second – if you now have the ability to, say, create an AI-generated summary of a complex, three-hour Parliamentary debate without reading it, or if you can spin up an article from bulletpoints someone else has given you in a matter of moments…when, exactly, is your thinking happening?
  • Interaction Design: Oh this is so so so good. Rauno Freiberg has written this wonderful, chatty, discursive guide to interaction design, talking you through what it is, why it’s important, what makes certain design ‘good’ or ‘bad’…honestly, as someone who (as I think I may have mentioned one or two times before) has all the visual acuity and elan of Helen Keller, stuff like this is like watching Penn and Teller explain magic tricks. Honestly, this really is wonderful and I found myself learning without quite realising it.
  • The Decline of Lemon8: Are any of you still using Threads, then? I logged in briefly to check on it yesterday for a thing I was writing and MY GOD is it horrible (also, Instagram people – what is WRONG with them? They’re like a different species, specifically a really dreadful one) – all BRAND BANTER and horrid, vapid engagement-bait (and Gordon Ramsey, which for reasons I can’t adequately understand upset me most of all), and I can’t personally understand what the point of it is and why anyone would choose to use it. Given the news that engagement stats on the platform have fallen off a cliff after the first week of use, it may not end up being the runaway success that Meta hopes – this piece looks at TikTok’s recent Insta-like, called Lemon8, which those of you who bother keeping up with these things will recall launched in February to a LOT of buzz and a high app store ranking, but which now, a mere five months later, appears to be something of a graveyard populated solely by brands and with no real people to make it interesting. It’s described by one quoted commenter as ‘too crafted and curated to the point of blandness’ which in itself feels like a warning to Threads. Anyone remember Google+, another service which used cross-promotion with an existing massive digital platform to lure a massive initial userbase before slowly dying a painful death because at no point did anyone actually need or want it? Well, exactly.
  • Portugal and Drugs: The Washington Post looks at Portugal’s drugs laws, over two decades from the country’s decision to decriminalise consumption of all drugs for personal use, including the purchase and possession of 10-day supplies, and how they have impacted society – the sad news, at least for those of you who like me have long been advocates for this sort of approach, is that it doesn’t appear to have been a total success, with visible drug addiction increasingly seen as a national blight and an increasingly fractious debate taking place about the extent to which it can be considered a ‘right’ to choose to spend one’s time blissed off one’s tits on skag while the state looks after you. The main thing I took away from the piece, on reflection, was that once again this seems to boil down to a question of money and funding, and this could be read as much as a failure of government to adequately follow-through to mitigate the inevitable consequences of their policy as it could be a failure of the policy itself.
  • The Bronze Age Pervert: ANOTHER piece touching on the ‘crisis in modern masculinity’, although at least this has the benefit of not being written by Caitlin Moran. This starts interesting but then, to my mind at least, spends far too much time attempting to analyse the undergrad-fash ‘philosophy’ behind the persona of The Bronze Age Pervert, a Romanian guy who studied in the US and who realised a few years ago that you can make decent wedge from presenting wafer-thin ‘thinking’ dressed up in macho garms. If nothing else, this is very much worth reading for the insight it will give you into why all the ‘greek statue avatar’ social media accounts are actually fash, as well as the way it contributes to my broad ‘everything going wrong with the world right now, and in fact over the past decade or so, can be attributed to the aggressive intellectual astroturfing of a generation carried out by a small cadre of very, very rich right-wing American men seeking to reinforce their position of socioeconomic dominance by the propagation of ‘traditional’ values’ thesis.
  • Liberland: Apologies for the Unherd link, but this is worth a read if, like me, you are endlessly-fascinated by the micronational aspirations of the libertarian/web3/crypto class. Liberland, you may recall, is a not-really-extant micronation which putatively exists on a small strip of contested land between Croatia and Serbia, and which is described by its president Vit Jedlička, as “a nation of 700,000 people, with embassies in 80 nations,and relations with countries like Haiti, Somaliland, and Malawi.” In reality it’s basically a bunch of cryptob0llocks and will never come to anything, but I do enjoy these sorts of takedowns of mad projects like this – also, as an aside, if even an outlet like Unherd which is significantly more ‘libertarian-friendly’ than most looks at your project and goes ‘nah mate, this is mental’, then perhaps you have a problem.
  • NPCs: You can’t move this week for broadsheet explainers on the NPC streamer trend on TikTok – you can read one here, if you like, or here – but I thought this take, by Rene over at Good Internet, was worth sharing; he rightly points out that this isn’t really new at all, and is just an extension of the odd relationship between online viewer and online creator/performer that has existed since the early days of the web, and that there is in fact limited difference between people doing this sort of thing (gaming the algo, giving the people what they want for money, etc) and, say, MrBeast, who is effectively as much a slave to The Machine as these kids tic-ing and sibillating into the mic for 7 hours a pop. At the end of the day we’re all going to end up effectively w4nking for pennies on the internet (metaphorically or otherwise) – these people have just got there slightly quicker than most of us.
  • 50 Rappers, 50 Stories: This was only published overnight I think, so I haven’t had a chance to read all of the vignettes in this New York Times piece, but the ones I have read (Phonte, Violent J, 50 Cent) have been GREAT – each of these short pieces gives an insight into an artist’s career journey and their relationship to the wider industry, and I can honestly say that Violent J’s story in particular made me go all emo for a second. There’s a wonderful range of featured artists here and there will be at least one who you’re a fan of, promise.
  • How Search Began: Oh this is SO INTERESTING – this piece looks back at Syracuse University library in 1970, where the first ever terminal-based textual search engine was invented; and yes, I know that that doesn’t necessarily scream MUST-READ ARTICLE, but trust me when I tell you that this is fascinating. Aside from anything else, it’s astonishing that we are currently using technology and systemic architecture that is, at heart, basically the same as it was 53 years ago – it’s slightly amazing that the coming era of AI-enabled natural language search will be the first major update to the way we interrogate digital texts in half a century.
  • Scotti’s: A love letter to a Farringdon sandwich bar by Isaac Rangaswami for Vittles – if you know London you will be able to immediately picture Scotti’s from the descriptions, even if you’ve never visited, and the pen pictures of the staff and the regulars and the food and the chats are just perfect. If you don’t want a slightly-greasy chicken escalope sandwich by the end of this then there’s probably something wrong with you.
  • The Climate Hoax: This is a super-interesting story which I am slightly surprised didn’t get more traction – then again, Novara’s something of a niche site and oxygen of indie journalism has rather been sucked up by the Byline Times’ Wootton exposé. Ash Sarkar writes about being approached about a story purporting to be about leaked Government documents…which in fact turned out to be a complete fake, orchestrated by a middle-aged advermarketingprcunt to attempt to raise awareness of the climate crisis. This really is fascinating – partly because, on one level at least, it’s a really impressive bit of PR (the whole ‘leaving things in the back of cabs’ is a legitimately brilliant tactic), but on the other it’s incredibly irresponsible and, you could reasonably argue, works to undermine more legitimate communications efforts on the issue. Whatever your perspective, my main takeaway is that there is literally NOTHING ON EARTH that middle-aged men working in communications can’t look at and think ‘you know what? I could fix that; I could do that BETTER’ (and, er, I know whereof I speak).
  • Super Meko Land: A tightly-written little scifi-ish short story by the mysteriously lowe-case merritt k – this is really very good, not least because it’s pleasingly pared-back.
  • The Hole: This week’s final longread is not, in fact, that long – still, it’s a glorious little portrait of a relationship by Nicolaia Rips in the Paris Review, and I adored this line especially: “A ghost is like a pet or a child, and I’m not responsible enough to handle a poltergeist.”

By Philip Lindeman

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

Webcurios 14/07/23

Reading Time: 38 minutes

Hi! I’m back! Has…has anything been happening? Did I miss anything?

LOL JK! Sadly I missed NOTHING – one of the side effects of being an occasional pseudo-journalist (not this, to be clear – I promise you I am under no illusions as to what THIS is, and it’s certainly not journalism) is that holidays don’t really exist – and they certainly don’t when your beat happens to be ‘social media’ and when That Fcuking Man and Adam Mosseri combine to drop two of the biggest stories of the year in a week when ordinarily I should have been catatonic with drink and sun and souvlaki. So it is that my planned ‘take two weeks largely offline’ ended up instead being ‘spend a week fighting Twitter’s rate limit (and my own very strong desire to fcuk it all into the sun and just ignore the whole horrible mess) to try and keep up with the news’ – still, I FILED COPY AND THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS.

Anyway, I am back now and have once again plugged myself into The Feeds in order to bring you – yes, YOU! – some INTERESTING AND ECLECTIC CONTENT.

YOU DON’T GET THIS ON THREADS. Which, presumably, is why it has 10m+ users and Web Curios…doesn’t. Perhaps I should take notes.

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and next time if you ask nicely I’ll send you a postcard.

***TINY AWARDS UPDATE***

While I was away, the shortlist for the Tiny Awards was announced – you have until Monday to vote, if you haven’t already, so please take a moment to visit the website, check out the nominations (a genuinely lovely selection of projects, chosen by our esteemed selection committee, and which I think present a beautiful cross-section of what the web can be when it’s small and non-commercial and personal and playful and FUN). Vote! Share the URL! Tell your friends!

The winner will be announced by Matt Klein over at ZINE next week – after which we’ll put a link to all the entries up on the website, so you can enjoy the 300+ sites that were submitted. Thanks again to everyone who’s shown an interest and who’s participated in any way – it has been so, so heartening seeing people’s enthusiasm, and it’s hugely appreciated.

***END OF TINY AWARDS UPDATE***

By Henrietta Harris

OUR FIRST PLAYLIST OF THE WEEK IS A LOVELY SELECTION OF TRACKS PULLED TOGETHER AS PART OF THE MARKETING FOR CHUCK TINGLE’S NEW NOVEL ‘CAMP DAMASCUS’, AND WHILE I WOULDN’T ORDINARILY LINK TO PROMO STUFF I WILL MAKE AN EXCEPTION FOR THIS BECAUSE CHUCK CONTINUES TO BE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE ONLINE PEOPLE AND ALSO BECAUSE I AM A SUCKER FOR THE WHOLE ‘SOUNDTRACKS FOR CHARACTERS FROM NOVELS’ THING WHICH IS GOING ON HERE, AND ALSO BECAUSE I JUST REALLY LIKE THIS PARTICULAR SET OF SONGS! 

THE SECTION WHICH REALLY FCUKING HOPES THAT THE SUN GETS TAKEN TO THE CLEANERS, PT.1:  

  • Donovan: We start with something that, fine, is perhaps not the cheery, uplifting sort of content you might perhaps have expected from Curios (I know! They sold you a pup!), but which very much struck me in the context of a recent hearing in the House of Lords here in the UK in which, and I quote, “legal experts and software engineers told Lords that current AI systems are not able to assess whether a given military action is appropriate or proportionate, and will likely never be able to.” So, now you’ve digested that, click the main link and glory in the terrifying ‘this is happening RIGHT NOW’ joy of ‘Donovan’ (not, sadly, anything to do with the 70s folk singer), a product developed by AI company Scale which promises ‘AI-powered decision-making for defense.’ Yes, that’s right, the thing that all the experts just told the Upper House in the UK definitely shouldn’t happen and which would, in all likelihood, is A Bad Idea, is currently in Beta – you can, it appears, apply to trial Donovan if you have an active US Military or Governmental email address, and play around with its decisionmaking capabilities by feeding it such sample datasets as ‘Chinese technical documents, including technical research reports written in Mandarin’, or ‘Technical think tank reports on emerging technologies such as artificial intelligence, quantum computing, and microelectronics coming out of China’ (Donovan (or the people flogging it, or perhaps more accurately the people buying it), it turns out, has a real bee in its bonnet about China). Obviously I’ve not been able to do anything other than gawp at the sales page here and mutter under my breath ‘this seems like a bad idea to me’ like Jeff Goldblum in the early stages of Jurassic Park, but in the unlikely event that any Curios readers are employees of the US Government then I’d welcome a product review. WELCOME BACK EVERYONE ISN’T THE WEB AMAZING?!?!
  • Prophetic AI: Sticking to the broad field of ‘weird and unsettling AI businesses that I don’t approve of or necessarily entirely understand’, say hello to Prophetic AI, a company which, insofar as I am able to make sense of the copy on their website, is looking to use artificial intelligence to unlock the power of lucid dreaming so that we might all accelerate our path towards the Age of Aquarius (or, er, something like that). This is, I *think*, a bit of kit that you wear while you sleep and which transmits your brainwaves to an app and which, if I have understood the frankly incomprehensible new age speak and pseudoscience that peppers the site, then uses AI to analyse users’ neurological patterns to better be able to induce a state of lucid dreaming in users. Basically, to put it in terms that I can just about understand, you buy a headset and wear it while you sleep and over time you will magically gain the ability to enjoy lucid dreams which you can control and which will grant you access to an entirely new level of spiritual wellbeing. Probably. Or alternatively you’ll have spent a few hundred quid on a bit of 3d printing that will do the square root of fcuk-all. OR you will have signed yourself up to a weird experiment which will fiddle with your brain activity while you sleep. Any of those options sound appealing? GREAT! These things aren’t currently for sale, and were I a betting man I probably wouldn’t put the house on them ever becoming reality, but then again I’m probably only this negative because I’m yet to master my Chi.
  • The Free Movie: Yes, I know, it’s MSCHF again, and they really don’t need the additional publicity, and I still think there’s something about them that I don’t wholly like (this is possibly sour grapes based on the fact that they are all brilliantly creative and all their projects are pretty much great and they seem to have a lot of fun, fine, but I do get a very large whiff of ‘someone’s parents’ money’ about the whole thing), but this is not only a great idea but also a rather lovely example of the mad power of the web. The Free Movie was (in the 5 days between me finding this and me writing it up at 717am on Friday 14 July) a project which asked anyone on the web to draw a single frame of The Bee Movie in a very simple art tool (MS Paint style), each of which would then be compiled to create a totally fan-made version which will be available to watch on the website (or at least until the copyright lawyers get their teeth into this) – the film’s apparently rendering now, but you can watch a shonky frame-by-frame playback on the site by clicking the ‘play’ button in the bottom left. I absolutely love this, it is PURE INTERNET (but, er, also something which with a few tweaks you could use as ‘inspiration’ for some sort of fun advermarketingpr stuff (sorry, sorry, sorry)).
  • The Jolly Roger Telephone: This is EXCELLENT, and also feels like it might be worth replicating locally for the right sort of campaigning or consumer rights organisation. The Jolly Roger Telephone is a service designed to help you fight back against scam callers (or, frankly, anyone who phones you unbidden to attempt to sell you anything) – basically it consists of a series of bots which are designed to keep the scammers on the phone for as long as possible while you go off and live your best life, unbothered by amateurish attempts to hack into your bank accounts. If you receive a call that seems dodgy, you can (once signed up to the platform) merge the call with one of the Jolly Roger online agents which will take over the conversation and try and keep the scammer engaged for as long as possible in the now-classic 419eater style. SUCH a good idea – if you want to sign up long-term there is a fee (£2 a month), but, honestly, it feels like a public service that’s worth paying for. It works in the UK, US, Australia and New Zealand, so ENJOY.
  • Cold Call: Following on SEAMLESSLY from the last telephonically-related link (never let it be said that there’s not some impressive curatorial work happening here lol), this is less of a web thing and more of a brilliant art project – sadly you can’t experience it online, but you can read about it and marvel at the smart ingenuity of the whole thing. I could try and explain it in my own words, but, honestly, I’d probably just fcuk it up, so have their explanation instead: ““Cold Call: Time Theft as Avoided Emissions” is an unconventional carbon offsetting scheme that draws on strategies of worker sabotage and applies them in the context of high emission companies in the fossil fuel industry. Time theft is a strategy to deliberately slow productivity, where workers waste time and are therefore paid for periods of idleness. For example, fake sick days, sleeping on the job, extended lunch breaks, or engaging in non-work related activities like social media or unrelated phone calls. Cold Call is an installation that takes the form of a call center. Audiences are invited to connect by telephone to executives in the fossil fuel industry and instructed to keep them on the phone as long as possible. The cumulative time stolen from these executives is then quantified as carbon credits using an innovative new offsetting methodology.” As someone who has on occasion very much leant in to the whole “being actively bad at my job is an act of protest” thing (have I mentioned I am always available for hire?), I can very much get behind this as a concept. Also, there MUST be away that an activist organisation can create an online version of this to snare up the various telephone exchanges and email centres of a bunch of nefarious companies, no?
  • The NBA Pixel Arena: This is an interesting idea – whilst it’s basketball-based, there’s no reason a similar idea couldn’t work for football, say, or any other sport with HIGH OCTANE ACTION MOMENTS (possibly not crown green bowls). Pixel Arena is an app that lets fans of the NBA take the best baskets of the week and effectively ‘remix’ them in CG, adding their own customised avatar, and special effects, and sounds, and EXCITING COOL GRAPHICAL FLOURISHES, and then share them with their friends or the wider community – there are quizzes and points and bits and pieces of gamification throughout, but the central thing (show us how cool you can make the dunks look, basically) feels…fun, and, even better, there doesn’t appear to be any mention of NFTs or Web3 or ON-CHAIN MONETISATION SOLUTIONS, which is a refreshing change for this sort of thing.
  • Blob: Older readers will remember the halcyon era of ‘executive toys’, that period in the 80s and maybe 90s when there was a genuine market for small, lightly-physics-based desk accessories with which RICH AND POWERFUL BUSINESSMONGS could distract themselves from the important business of greasing the wheels of capitalism (and doing cocaine) by, I don’t know, watching some balls of coloured fluid suspended in slightly-less-dense clear liquid rolling down a slope. Aside from Newton’s Cradle which you occasionally still see in the wild, these have largely vanished – but Blob, a brilliant little webtoy by a Japanese coder, is basically one of those sorts of things in digital form. Drop the blobs! Pick them up! Make them bounce! Hurl them around the screen! Revel in their fleshy weight! Honestly, this is so much fun and surprisingly-soothing; you can use the controls in the bottom left to edit the environment in which the blobs exist to create your very own hypnotic blob vivarium, and I promise you that there is no way that you won’t feel marginally less enervated after spending 10 minutes with this.
  • Claude: Yes, I know, LLMs are OLD NEWS – you all know about GPT and you’re all constantly outsourcing your bullsh1t jobs to The Machine and producing even more bullsh1t outputs to further pollute the informational water table…WELL DONE EVERYONE WELL DONE! Still, it’s worth being aware of the latest addition to the textual AI pantheon – in this instance it’s Anthropic’s bot Claude which has received a glow-up and can now do some genuinely useful things like analyse PDFs and look up information from links. None of this is stuff that other LLMs can’t do, of course, but Claude is free and if you’re not currently in a position to pony up $20 to OpenAI for GPT4 then you could do worse than give this a go for your document analysis needs. BONUS LLM UPDATE: Google have given Bard a tweak, which you can read about here (tldr; it’s available in more countries, it can ‘speak’ its results, you can feed it pictures and ask it to do stuff based on what it thinks it ‘sees’, etc etc).
  • LEGO Set Instructions: The Internet Archive has helpfully compiled all the available LEGO instruction manuals that apparently exist anywhere in the world into one single repository, should you be looking for a long-term building project with which to keep your feral progeny occupied over the coming Summer holidays.
  • GPS Log: Many years ago my friend Jim and I had an idea for a (really, really terrible) artwork which would have involved us fitting a bunch of disposable lighters with individual GPS trackers and leaving them all in a central London pub one evening, and then seeing where they ended up and where they traveled over the course of the life of the trackers’ batteries – the resulting trails would have been mapped over the city to give a loose impression of the shape of the life of both the people who picked them up and how small objects pass from hand-to-hand and person-to-person (I told you it was a terrible idea, don’t look at me like that). Anyway, this has nothing to do with that idea but, equally, reminded me slightly of it – this was a GPS tracker strapped to a log. “The idea of strapping a GPS to a piece of wood is not a new one. Researchers, like the ones at HJ Andrews, have been doing similar projects for years. Inspired by the idea of documenting the log’s journey, and imagining the voyage large wood takes from the mountains to the sea, Will Bonner and I had the idea of tracking wood while it travels down the McKenzie River. GPS Log tracks live data of its movements. GPS log was engineered like a boat to consistently float in the same orientation with its antenna pointing towards the sky. As the log pings every two minutes, the data is displayed live on GPSLogDrive.com for folks to watch as it makes its way downriver.” Sadly the log’s journey was a relatively short one and the project is now finished (you can, however, trace its fascinating journey on the site) – thankfully, though, plans are already afoot for GPSLog2.0 which am personally sweaty-palmed with excitement for. Can people do more of this sort of thing, please? Thanks!
  • Architecture For Dogs: MONKEY TENNIS! Not, sadly, a pitch for a new Channel4 property pr0n programme (“Kevin McCloud meets a pair of cockapoos with some grand plans for their kennel!”), but instead “an extremely sincere collection of architecture and a new medium, which make dogs and their people happy. By looking at the diagrams or pictures or watching the videos, people all over the world can make these themselves. Dogs are people’s partners, living right beside them, but they are also animals that humans, through crossbreeding, have created in multitudes of breeds. Reexamining these close partners with fresh eyes may be a chance to reexamine both human beings themselves and the natural environment.” There are 13 different designers and architects who have contributed ideas, and each of their designs is available to download as a set of instructions to let you create the design yourself (presuming you have a…reasonable degree of skill). I LOVE THESE (and I’m really not a dog person at all) – it really is worth checking out the designs here as some of them are really fun (although from the little I know of dogs I can’t imagine many of them enjoying the ‘chihuahua cloud’).
  • The World’s Writing Systems: How’s your cuneiform? This is SO interesting: “This web site presents one reference glyph and basic information for each of the world’s writing systems. It is the first step of the Missing Scripts Project, a long-term initiative that aims to identify writing systems which are not yet encoded in the Unicode standard. As of today, there are still 131 scripts not yet encoded in Unicode. So they can’t be used on the computer — yet.” Honestly, I was slightly mesmerised by this – all of these scripts whose names I half-know (Linear B, for example) but had no actual idea what they looked like, compiled here into a history of human written communication. This is both an incredible resource and just a fascinating journey through the various alphabets that peoples have come up with over thousands of years of civilisation – and, if you’re that sort of person, a really, really good database of unusual tattoo styles (“Oh, yeah, that’s just my mum’s name in Glagolitic script, no big deal”).
  • ZZZuckerberg:This is a great idea by the TLDR Institute (which “is an independent research lab that aims to promote the awareness of important facts through the unusual, strange, and downright bizarre”) – to raise awareness of the insanity of the length and complexity of tech platforms’ terms and conditions, they’ve created this site which offers an ASMR-ish reading of the Instagram Ts&Cs which you can use to help you get to sleep (if you scroll right to the bottom there’s a link to another riff on this using the TikTok terms instead). Neat, clever, and (based on the bit I listened to this morning before I realised that if I left it playing for too long that I would just fall asleep at my desk and Curios would never get written) very soporific indeed.
  • Burned Punks: I admit to having joined in with a *bit* of the recent schadenfreude at the recent news that the bottom has fallen out of the Bored Ape market and that a lot of people who invested heavily in fash-adjacent clipart over the past few years are now finding that they’re lumbered with some very devalued jpegs – at the same time, though, I do think there’s something interesting still lurking at the heart of the web3 movement, even if just its status as a place in time for the online community. This is a project by Sean Bonner, very much a pro-web3 advocate, which looks at the CryptoPunks collection and tracks which of the original run of NFTs has been ‘burned’ by its owner, to create a record of the works and their ownership and their history. “Burning, a process of sending digital artwork to an inaccessible wallet address, presents an intriguing paradox. The work becomes both present and absent; observable by all, yet owned by none. Destroying a physical artwork is destructive and sometimes an act of violence, but burning an NFT is different as the work isn’t destroyed so much as made immortal…when burned Cryptopunks are not compromised in the visual sense. Rather, they transition into a form of digital ‘commons,’ disrupting conventional perceptions of ownership and value. Should financial potential alone dictate value, thereby rendering a non-sellable entity worthless? Contrarily, I would argue that such a shift positions cultural value squarely in the spotlight. When an NFT, symbolizing some collection of exclusive ‘property rights’ to a digital artifact, is burned, it propels us into a complex discourse on ownership, copyright, reproduction rights, and the overarching legal structure of digital assets.” Obviously this is *a bit* w4nky – equally, though, I still find questions like this interesting in the broader context of ‘art’ and ‘ownership’ and the status of objects as signifiers and all that fun conceptual stuff (oh, ok, fine, it’s SUPER-w4nky, but I don’t care).
  • Dirty Dining: Currently only available in New York, but apparently COMING TO LONDON, Dirty Dining is an app which promises to let you search restaurants in New York by hygiene rating, helping you avoid the more rat-and-roach-infested eateries across the five boroughs in favour of ones which know what bleach is. On the one hand, GREAT! On the other, I am not looking forward to finding out the Dark Truths behind some of my favourite eateries when this launches over here in a few months time.
  • The Artisans Cooperative: This is an interesting project – launched last year, the Artisan’s Cooperative is a collective for, er, artisans, a member-owned cooperative which seeks to create a better environment for individual makers to market and sell their wares – there’s a new sales platform that they have created which is set to launch later this year, as an alternative to Etsy which, the implication is, has become too big and full of too many larger players, and has moved away from the strictly-artisanal and handmade ethos it had at launch; by contrast. The Artisans Cooperative will be a strictly-handmade-only marketplace (good luck policing that, but I admire the ethos), with a clear and transparent and maker-friendly fees policy and, in general, if you are a small maker of STUFF then you might want to keep an eye on this as it might be worth engaging with.
  • The Audubon Photo Awards 2023: SO MANY LOVELY BIRD PICS! These dropped while I was away, but in case you missed them they are GORGEOUS – the winning photo even makes pigeons look cute ffs!
  • The Diorama Restaurant: You may have seen clips doing the rounds on Twitter of a POV video in which a train trundles round a track whilst being menaced by cats – cats which, because of the perspective, look ENORMOUS. This is the TikTok account that those clips are ripped from – it’s from a cafe in Japan (obvs) which doubles as a cat sanctuary, and where you can go and watch the trains go by whilst sipping coffee and stroking the felines and, honestly, HOW AMAZING DOES THIS PLACE LOOK?! Anyway, this is a whole channel which features nothing but giant cats menacing tiny trains, and it’s basically like the best ride that Alton Towers has yet to invent (but, look, if anyone from a theme park happens to be reading this, you can still make this happen so hop to it).
  • Thermonator: What does the name ‘Thermonator’ conjure up? Is it something…cuddly? Cute? Benign? It’s not, is it? Repeat the name to yourself under your breath – does it not conjure images of a future in which you and your loved ones are huddled under the rubble of a bombed-out city, hiding from the killer robots doing the final sweep for survivors? YES, YES IT DOES. Which is convenient, seeing as basically that’s exactly what the Thermonator is – specifically a Boston Dynamics knockoff with a flamethrower stuck on its back, to create what the website cheerfully terms ‘the first-ever flamethrowing quadruped robot dog…equipped with the ARC Flamethrower to create your ultimate firepower companion’. Does this feel like a good thing? It doesn’t, to me, feel like a good thing. Still, it’s apparently shipping in Q3 this year, so you can get one in time for Christmas with a bit of luck, so that’s nice.

By Tajette O’Halloran

NEXT, ENJOY THIS TECH-HOUSE SET SENT INTO ME BY READER RAF – THANKS RAF! – WHICH IS A PERFECT INTRO TO YOUR WEEKEND! 

THE SECTION WHICH REALLY FCUKING HOPES THAT THE SUN GETS TAKEN TO THE CLEANERS, PT.2:      

  • XAi: I am loathe to give That Fcuking Man any more of the publicity he so desperately craves, but on the other hand this initiative does claim to have as its ultimate aim ‘to understand the true nature of the universe’, so it feels like we should probably pay at least a bit of attention. What is XAi? Noone really knows yet, or at least not until the press conference happening on Spaces later on today – still, what we can say for certain is that there are no women involved (‘ONLY MEN CAN POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND THE TRUE NATURE OF THE UNIVERSE’ is 100% something I can imagine That Fcuking Man thinking on some fairly ingrained level), and that, based on his previous burblings about the dangers of ‘woke’ AI and his recent charming decisions to amplify the beliefs and viewpoints of such charmers as Carlson, Tate et al, there’s a pretty strong likelihood that what we’re going to end up with is a chatbot that seeks to ‘understand the universe’ by ‘just asking questions!’ about, say, the right of trans people to exist, or why George Soros might in fact be the devil. WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE, etc etc.
  • Love The Work More: Now that Cannes is once again done and dusted for the year, it’s time to look back over the runners and riders and winners and losers to see which of the work can be mined for ‘inspiration’ (lol) – except to access the full list of winners and the work, you need paid access to the Lions site. Or at least you used to need that – thanks to this site, anyone can now get the list of winners and details of what the fcuk they did for free! Which is obviously genuinely useful if this is the sort of thing you have to do for a living (I am so, so sorry), although I personally have a fairly strong belief that if all you’re looking at for inspiration for your advermarketingprbollocks is other advermarketingprbollocks then your work will be intensely mediocre at best. Still, if you’ve ever wanted the ability to go back and see all the people who won a bronze lion in 2002, or to see whether or not you can lift a 20 year old bit of creative wholesale two decades later (you can, trust me) then this will be PERFECT. A quick aside – was there anyone who *didn’t* win a Bronze Lion this year? It certainly doesn’t fcuking look like it (I mean, obviously *I* didn’t, but hey ho).
  • The Labyrinth Locator: I have mentioned here before that I have something of a ‘thing’ for mazes and labyrinths (and also that one of my favourite ever novels is about a man who designs them for a living – it’s called ‘Larry’s Party’ and it’s by Carol Shields and I recommend it unreservedly), and this website gave me a genuine frisson of joy when I stumbled across it this week – you can search by city, by country, by geographical radius…basically you have no excuse whatsoever for not using this every time you go on holiday to find the nearest maze to your destination and going and enjoying it (NB – obviously you don’t have to listen to my mild hectoring on this subject, but I promise you that MAZES ARE ACE).
  • HyperMegaTech: I try not to feature too many sites that are just tryingto flog you a thing, but I’ll make an exception for this because it looks very cool indeed and I think quite a few of you might be into it. HyperMegaTech is a company that makes handheld consoles, and their latest versions, launching in a few months, look GREAT – they’re designed to look a bit like an original Gameboy but with a colour display and better graphics, and the consoles cost the frankly insane amount of £49, and come pre-loaded with a bunch of classic, licensed games (you can get a Capcom version which comes with SFII, Mega Man and a load of other games from their catalogue, or a Taito version which does the same but for, er, Taito) and which you can buy additional cartridges for to further bolster your collection…look, obviously this might be a massive con and I offer the usual ‘caveat emptor’, but it looks GREAT.
  • Cosmos: I’m not 100% certain that anyone particularly *needs* a site/app which can best be described as ‘Pinterest, but with a minimal aesthetic and a generally ‘cool’ vibe, designed for designers and visual creatives to moodboard with’, but, well, here it is anyway! This isn’t publicly available yet, but you can sign up to the waitlist should you be so minded.
  • Molecule of the Month: A PERFECT CURIO! Well, near-perfect – a perfect Curio would probably feature fewer people from Eton, but still. Molecule of the Month is a site which has been apparently going for YEARS – it self-describes as “one of the longest running chemistry webpages on the internet. Each month since January 1996 a new molecule has been added to the list on this page. The links will take you to a page at one of the Web sites at a University Chemistry Department or commercial site in the UK, the US, or anywhere in the world, where useful (and hopefully entertaining!), information can be found about a particularly interesting molecule.” I am honestly FASCINATED by this – the longevity! The fact that it appears to be an almost-entirely UK-based endeavour! The inexplicable popularity of the site amongst current Eton students, who seem to be contributing a disproportionate number of the molecules and links here! Anyway, this month’s featured molecule is White Phosphorous (nasty) nominated by one Roderick Edmonds of, yes, Eton (special shoutout to his collegemate from a few months ago, by the way, the fabulously-named Henry Goss-Custard), but take a moment to scroll back through time all the way to 1996 and marvel at the fact that this has just kept on going and going and going. Why? I HAVE NO FCUKING CLUE, but it pleases me a great deal.
  • RedditSpeak: Plug in any subReddit you care to name and listen as this site reads out the posts to you one by one. So, for example, you can keep this open in a tab and have it read you every single ‘AITA’ post while you work – or (and I am ashamed to say that this is exactly what I ended up doing with it) you can just plug in your favourite bongo sub and enjoy the explicit descriptions being read out in a joyless robotic monotone, which I personally found very, very funny indeed (NOT IN A SEXY WAY).
  • CloneDub: This is interesting – can’t vouch for how well it works, but the concept is a fascinating one. CloneDub lets you take any audio recording in English and turn it into an audio recording in a number of other languages, but keeping the vocal style and intonation of the original. So, for example, YouTubers might use this to quickly create a translated audiotrack for their content which keeps the style and inflections of their native speech, or you could Cyrano your CEO into being fluent in Hindi. This feels like it could be used for some fun things if you’re marginally more imaginative than I am.
  • The Realtime Air Pollution Map: You may not want to spend too much time looking at this – after all, there’s enough other stuff to worry about, amirite? – but should you fancy staring through yet another porthole into the terrifying apocalyptic future that increasingly seems to await us as we continue to blow past environmental targets with the sort of breezy abandon that increasingly smacks of a collective deathwish then you might enjoy this site, which offers you a near-realtime overview of air quality around the world. On the plus side, London’s looking pretty good this morning! On the minus side, you REALLY don’t want to be on Sanli Street in Hefei right now (or indeed pretty much anywhere in South East Asia tbh).
  • Visible Earth: WOW. I am slightly amazed that I hadn’t linked this before, but WHAT a resource this is – consider it a small antidote to the last envirohorror link. Visible Earth is “a catalog of NASA images and animations of our home planet”, and it is wonderful – it turns out if you zoom out far enough, everything looks sort-of ok!
  • The Drone Photo Awards 2023: I have included this for a few years now, and I find that I am getting an increasing sense of ennui around drone work in general – so much of this stuff is so compositionally-similar that it very much blends into one uniform style, and nowhere is that more evident in the ‘Weddings’ category which does rather feel like one big cliche made JPEG (also lol at the fact that one of the wedding images in the ‘commended’ category is titled ‘Heaven’s Gate’ – er, guys, you…you do know the connotation there, don’t you?). Still, there are still some interesting shots in here if you dig around the categories – in particular the ‘Abstract’ shots are rather beautiful, although, if you dig in, often for rather miserable reasons.
  • Bavet: This is the website for a chain of pasta restaurants in Belgium, and not the sort of thing I would normally bother featuring were it not for the fact that the branding is so insanely EXTRA and I genuinely love the fact that they lean into it so hard, from the copy to the site itself. I am very, very far away from being the target market for this sort of place (about two decades away, to be exact), but it’s refreshing to see a brand that feels fun in a way that isn’t moodboarded and focus grouped to fcuk (I am going to feel very, very silly if one of you emails me from Belgium to explain that, in fact, that is exactly what this in fact is).
  • TwitterGPT: Thanks Alex for sending this my way – plug in any user’s Twitter handle and this site will give you a GPT-juiced description of WHO THEY REALLY ARE. This is more funny than anything else – although it absolutely nails me inside a paragraph, which is a bit dispiriting: “this individual is likely involved in the field of web curation or content aggregation. They frequently mention and promote a newsletter called “Web Curios,” which suggests a professional interest in curating and sharing interesting online content. Additionally, they express a need for a holiday, indicating a potential career in a demanding industry.” WELL QUITE.
  • Goblin Bet: You will, of course, be familiar with SaltyBet, the now-legendary site that spawned the AutoBattler game genre and which has been going for years and which lets visitors bet fictional currency on the outcome of an infinite series of character battles between superheroes and game protagonists – well this is that, but with a vague fantasy bent. So if you’ve ever wanted to put 50 imaginary quid on the outcome of a CPU vs CPU fight between (as is happening at the time of writing) a vampire and an adult brass dragon (and, let’s be honest, which of us hasn’t? NO FCUKER, etc) then this will be pleasing in the extreme. I’ll be honest, I expected to bounce off this immediately but then found myself 15 minutes later becoming surprisingly invested in whether or not I’d make back by losses by putting a longshot 100 on a kobold, so be warned (also, I think that might be the geekiest thing I have written here in some time and I really hope my girlfriend doesn’t bother reading this week’s issue).
  • The Zone: This is really interesting – the Zone is a lightweight TTRPG (tabletop roleplaying game) which you can play either in-person or through the website, and which is based on the premise that most of the players will die and as such frees you to engage with the scenarios and material in a freer way than you might otherwise – you’re not playing to win, after all, so go wild with your imaginations. The web interface is particularly impressive, to my mind, and allows for some pretty sophisticated online play, and the scenarios are plentiful, and if you’re the sort of person who likes to roleplay (NOT LIKE THAT) but who doesn’t always have time for a full campaign session, this could be a pleasing addition to your personal panoply of games.
  • Yeti Upsetti: If you’re Of An Age, you will have fond memories of Ski Free, a game that came bundled with old versions of Windows in which you played a tiny skier who competed on a downhill course and who would, if you played for too long, inevitably get devoured by a yeti whose clutches it was impossible to escape (you can play that here, should you so wish – and you do, I promise you). This version lets you play as the yeti – try and devour as many skiers as possible before you die of hunger. This is VERY SATISFYING, not least the animation as the yeti chomps down on yet another Salomon-clad home counties dweller.
  • Windows Defender: Our final miscellaneous link of the week is this BRILLIANTLY-designed game in the style of Vampire Survivors – I’m not going to try and explain it as I’d only make a pig’s ear of the attempt, but it’s simple and fun and so, so nicely put together, to the point that I’d almost describe it as ‘elegant’. This is 10 minutes of genuine, no-brain fun and it will CLEANSE YOUR SOUL, I promise.

By Mia Risberg

WE CLOSE OUT THE MIXES THIS WEEK WITH THIS SUPERB SELECTION OF DISCO AND FUNK AND LATIN TUNES COMPILED BY DOM WILLIAMS! 

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

  • Little Guy Mart: A tumblr which seemingly exists solely to catalogue images of small plush toys for sale on eBay. Why? WHY THE FCUK NOT? Truly, humanity is a magnificent and multifaceted and multivariate quilt.

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • Ipikan: Thanks to Andrea for sending this my way – Ipikan is a French craftsperson who makes embroidery, often of anatomical things. So if you’ve ever wanted a beautifully-made bit of cross stitch of an anatomically correct human heart – and which of us hasn’t? – then this will very much scratch an itch for you.
  • Atelier Simon Weisse: As far as I can tell, this is the Insta feed of a special effects studio which has most recently been engaged by Wes Anderson to make miniatures and dioramas for his latest self-indulgent pastel opus (sorry, but) – if you’d like to see a bunch of REALLY impressive model trains and canyons and markets and all sorts of other things (and you do, these are amazing and scratch that very particular miniaturists’ itch) then you will very much enjoy this.
  • Who Shot Duncan?: As previously mentioned, my pop culture knowledge is patchy at best, but I am pretty sure that Duncan Killick isn’t in fact a celebrity (yet) – but that doesn’t stop him running his Insta account as though he is. Duncan photoshopped into headlines, Duncan being papped, Duncan launching a celebrity fragrance…it’s all here. I imagine that this is significantly funnier if you know Duncan in person, but it’s still gently amusing even for strangers (or maybe just me), and his commitment to the bit is genuinely laudable.

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

  • Move Slower: I’ve posted a bunch of links over the past year or so in the longreads dealing with the topic of growth as a metric of social progress, and the question of whether maybe, just *maybe* we might benefit from possibly not using it as the ultimate yardstick of how well we’re doing – this is an excellent and (to my mind, at least) balanced piece by Bill McKinnon in the New Yorker, which looks at the extent to which green solutions are practically possible within the context of our current economic models, and whether or not it makes any sense to ‘go green’ when all you’re aiming for is ‘low-carbon capitalism’ (to my mind the answer here is still ‘yes, it does, but not as much as it would to perhaps aim for low-carbon socialism’, but your mileage here may vary). More than anything, though, it’s a decent reminder of the incredible (I mean this almost literally – it is hard to believe) complexity of the systems that we have constructed and their nested impact on the physical world around us, and the almost intractable difficulty of untangling or remaking them, a classic ‘rebuilding the plane in mid-air’ scenario which we’re (again, to my mind) not quite facing head-on at present.
  • How To Blow Up A Timeline: I think it’s fair to say that anyone with a treble-figure-IQ and a reasonable understanding of How Social Platforms Function (and whose head wasn’t already wedged far into the Muskian colon for fanboy/techbro/alt-right reasons) had predicted that That Fcuking Man was going to make a total pig’s ear of Twitter, but I’ll admit that I didn’t think it would happen quite this quickly. AND YET! I’m personally not quite as bearish on Twitter as some currently are – I wonder whether it might still be possible for it to stage a third-act comeback as it shrinks to a size more reminiscent of its first few years, although that obviously depends on the infrastructure still basically holding up, which is far from certain – but it’s clear that the site is…struggling, not just from a technical but also governance standpoint, and that it feels like the End Of An Era of sorts. This piece, by Eugene Wei, is an excellent look back at the history of the site and the features and quirks that made it culturally relevant for a good 10 years – as an analysis of the ‘how and why’ of a social network (in the purest, nonspecificallytechy sense) this is superb, and this passage in particular neatly captures some of the reasons why what That Fcuking Man has done is so sad and destructive and, on a human level, shameful (I know that sounds hyperbolic but I genuinely mean that): “Twitter won’t ever fully vanish unless management pulls the plug. None of the contenders to replace Twitter has come close to replicating its vibe of professional and amateur intellectuals and jesters engaged in verbal jousting in a public global tavern, even as most have lifted its interface almost verbatim. Social networks aren’t just the interface, or the algorithm, they’re also about the people in them. When I wrote “The Network’s the Thing” I meant it; the graph is inextricable from the identity of a social media service. Change the inputs of such a system and you change the system itself. Thus Twitter will drift along, some portion of its remaining users hanging out of misguided hope, others bending the knee to the whims of the new algorithm. But peak Twitter? That’s an artifact of history now. That golden era of Twitter will always be this collective hallucination we look back on with increasing nostalgia, like alumni of some cult. With the benefit of time, we’ll appreciate how unique it was while forgetting its most toxic dynamics. Twitter was the closest we’ve come to bottling oral culture in written form.” BONUS TWITTER: Ben Thompson covers many of the same points as Wei in his (shorter) article, but focuses a bit more on social network theory and the role of the algorithm, and the new social landscape in a post-Threads world – a good companion piece if you can stomach reading more about social platforms, which I appreciate, frankly, you may not want to do.
  • Millennial Brain Rot: Threads, I think, is where I nope out of new social platforms for good. Time was that I would have been professionally obligated to create a profile and test the functionality and build a network…now, though? I tried it on launch day (that was a fun way to spend a morning of my holiday – THANKS MARK AND ADAM YOU FCUKING FCUKS) and determined very quickly that all the same reasons I hate Instagram applied, at least early on, to Threads as well. This piece by Kate Lindsay neatly captures exactly why so many people seem to have felt horrified by the Threads experience – partly because INSTA PEOPLE CANNOT WRITE (I am only half-joking here), but also because, as Lindsay puts it, “When I first opened the app, I expected to see an early-Twitter copycat. Instead, I was met with a feed of users parroting robotic and emoji-laden prompts, the same four jokes about being “unhinged,” and, of course, a car giveaway from Mr. Beast. Given the opportunity to build the social media culture we say we’ve been missing, we immediately resorted to posting the worst clichés from today’s internet. Is this post from a person, or a brand? Because they’re both employing the same hokey syntax to post empty engagement-bait. This behavior says something about how we view social media now. It’s not for connection, but performance. It seems that many of the people who rushed to download this app did so to get in early on a rush for potential new followers, and in so doing, adopted digital personas that bear no resemblance to how a single human talks in real life. After years of being subliminally nudged towards this behavior through algorithm changes on other platforms, when given the opportunity to do something different on Threads, we came running back to the bland platitudes and low-hanging fruit we’ve been conditioned to rely on for engagement.” BONUS THREADS: Brian Feldman covers similar ground in different style, but this line in particular resonated with me hard and seems to capture something about the way in which the generation below me has been conditioned to use the web: “Anyone loading up Threads for the first time will be greeted with an illusory barrage of empty engagement-bait garbage from celebrities, influencers, and Tequila-hawking meme accounts they follow; accounts that do not actually care to hear from the riff-raff. Threads is not a platform full of ads, but something far more terrifying: a platform full of users who have voluntarily sold out.”
  • Insane Biology: Reader Barry Hall sent me this – THANKYOU BARRY HALL! – and, honestly, I read it and could literally feel my brain fizzing with how incredibly interesting and, frankly, mind-flayingly odd it all is. This is an interview with developmental biologist Michael Levin which starts off being about slime moulds but goes on to cover a whole host of weird and wonderful curiosities of biology and, honestly, there will be SO MANY bits of this which make you stop and reread the last line and say to yourself ‘no, hang on, what the actual fcuk?’ – the cells that respond differently to different types of music, say, or the idea that you can in theory build a computer from single-celled organisms, or the very concept of whether a cell can be said to ‘want’ in any meaningful sense…I can’t stress enough how insane much of the information contained in here is, and how much it made me personally wish that I wasn’t so dreadful at anything to do with the sciences as I would genuinely love to go and learn more about this (but am very much aware that I am not smart enough to do so).
  • The Crisis of Men: No, this isn’t about Moran’s book (I figure you’ve probably read all the excerpts and takedowns you need to – oh Caitlin! Oh dear!), although I am curious as to what the hook was for Christine Emba’s parallel piece in the Washington Post which basically treads exactly the same territory as Moran does without mentioning her or the book at all. Anyway, this is all about WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEN, and I thought it might be interesting to include it as a transatlantic counterpoint to all the UK chatter around the same issue – what’s interesting to me about this debate (other than the quick internal thought about exactly what would happen where a man to attempt to write a gender-swapped version of these pieces, oh me oh my!) is how miserably reductive and in many ways antediluvian it seems. Perhaps I’m being naive here, but one might reasonably argue that the past few decades’ progress in terms of our understanding of the fluidity of the gender spectrum and the potentially limiting and damaging effects of perpetuating long-held binary ideas of what it means to be human should have meant that questions like ‘HOW SHOULD MEN BE MEN?’ were consigned to the dustbin of history. MAYBE THINKING ABOUT MEN AND WOMEN LIKE THIS IS PART OF THE FCUKING PROBLEM, EH? Anyway, Emba’s piece touches on all the things you’d expect – Petersen! Tate! Scott Galloway! Missing fathers! SUNNING YOUR TAINT! – and draws absolutely no conclusions; please, can people stop writing these fcuking articles? Although, actually, should any lifestyle journalists happen to be reading this, I have a SOLID GOLD feature idea about MEN that I am willing to hand over to the right person, enquiries to the usual email address please.
  • My AI Writing Robot: Kyle Chayka writes in the New Yorker about the less-than-pleasant experience of having a bespoke AI trained on a corpus of his work and seeing how well it can embody his style – this is in part a promo piece for a US company called ‘Writer’, which offers a VERY expensive service which retrains its bespoke LLM with your own work to create what they claim is a model that can faithfully recreate your style (as previously discussed here, you simply can’t do this with GPT or any of the non-open-source models as they tend to default to the mean style of ‘LinkedInspeak’). The piece is a nice mix of practical skepticism and existential fear, with Chayka concluding “At one point during our conversations, Habib, the Writer C.E.O., mentioned that she had been messing around with Robot Kyle, having it rewrite TechCrunch articles in my style. The thought of this filled me with a sense of futility: my robot could take on any topic, fill any assignment.” How do you feel about a future in which we can all spin up autonomous AI agents to go out into the world (wide web) and act as us, in our style, to whatever end we choose? ‘Ambivalent’, personally, but then it’s not up to me.
  • Working With The AI Toolbox: If you have access to GPT4, you really should check out the ‘code interpreter’ feature that’s currently in beta – it is, honestly, fcuking ASTONISHING. Basically it lets you upload files to The Machine and get it to work with / analyse them – and it’s also a coding sandbox that will code and run things in Python, and and and and. Seriously, I can’t stress enough how incredible it is as a proof-of-concept – it’s not quite magic, and, like all this stuff, it’s certainly not perfect (or even entirely functional), but as I keep saying to people (they are really sick of me saying it) this is the worst this tech will EVER be, and it’s already astonishing. This is a superb primer by Ethan Mollick (again), who explains some of the things that you can use the tech for, and some ways of wrangling the interface to make it do what you need it to – I can’t stress enough quite how many possibilities this opens up for building things, analysing things and, inevitably, trusting the machine too much and getting some ruinously-bad interpretations of data that will come back to bite you in the ar$e at some point in the future (DO NOT TRUST THE MACHINE).
  • An AI Brand Campaign: A *bit* ‘inside advermarketingpr’ this, fine, but it’s still an interesting practical overview of how one might practically use the current crop of AI tools to develop a visual brand campaign, how long it would take vs using non-AI methods, and how exactly you might go about it.
  • AI and Astrology: This is less about AI and astrology – although it is, in fairness, also about that – and more another example of a really fcuking cool use of the tech to make something physical and fun and surprising and delightful. Basically I am linking this here in the hope that more of you with the sort of professional clout required to MAKE BRANDS DO THINGS (or, perhaps less miserably, any of you who just make cool things for fun) start ripping these sorts of things off (or, more charitably, riffing on them in interesting ways) and I start seeing AI-enabled games and toys and art projects out there in the real world. This is all about a GPT-powered astrology booth in New York, which lets users ask questions of The Machine based on their star sign and charts and which spits out printed fortunes based on your interactions with it – honestly, this feels like such a perfect, playful use for this sort of tech while it’s still in the ‘just shonky enough to be fun’ phase and before it quickly flips into the ‘becomes the face of oppressive capitalist hegemony’ era.
  • New Tech, Old War: Returning to the issues raised by the first link earlier in Curios, this is a piece from the LRB on the use of AI weaponry in the Israeli bombardment of Palestine, and the likely spread of these technologies to other theatres of war across the world. It’s about as cheering as you’d expect, but it’s a reminder of exactly why it’s important to focus on the ‘now’ when it comes to the harms engendered by technology and not to get distracted by the technologists pointing at the mushroom clouds on the distant horizon while they continue to get rich by selling very real instruments of death today.
  • The Frontier of the AI Revolution: This is a brilliant piece of reporting by Rest of World, which addresses a question that’s been troubling me for a few months now – to whit, what happens to all the people in places like the Philippines when the digital piecework that they have spent a good decade or so making a living from either becomes entirely automated or alternatively devalued to the point where it no longer constitutes a viable profession? Andrew Deck tells the stories of various people from across the world, from South America to South East Asia, and how they are working alongside The Machine to try and keep ahead of the game; while some are more bullish than others about what this will mean for their process and practice and earning potential, I thought the following vignette felt particularly illustrative: “It used to take at least a week for Wu Dayu’s Shenzhen-based design studio to create promotional materials for online fashion stores. But since Wu, 35, switched to using generative AI in March, the same work can be completed in a day, by just two people, and for only $140.“Some high-end brands might prefer human models,” Wu said. “For small and mid-sized sellers, AI models will save them a lot of money and time.” In April, Wu laid off 60% of his staff.”
  • Weekend Plans: I am including this because, honestly, I read it and was immediately struck both by how inherently true it felt and also because I don’t think I’ve ever heard this articulated before as a concept – which means, kids, that what we have here is a GENUINE INSIGHT which I reckon at least one of you can use for AGENCY PROFIT and PERSONAL GAIN. The basic premise here is that there’s an increasing sense that people – younger people in particular – have a degree of…anxiety (? I am using this word because I can’t quite think of a better one, but know that I generally hate its overdeployment in modern parlance) over how to fill all those empty hours between Friday evening and Monday morning, without the structures and tasks of the working (or studying) week to build their time around, and that this is tied to the fact that all the life admin stuff that used to take up so much of our free time (going shopping! Paying bills! Going to the bank!) are now automated to the degree that we have previously-inconceivable amounts of time to fill but lack the resources (financial or otherwise) to find things with which to fill said time. Which, fine, is not a revelation when you write it down, but I really don’t think I’ve ever properly thought about this and it feels to me very much like the sort of thing you could probably build a sellable strategy out of for the right client (this is why, I suspect, I am a genuinely terrible ‘strategist’).
  • The Coolest Library On Earth: Did you know that there is a library of arctic ice in Copenhagen? Oh, fine, YOU might have known but I had no idea, which made this article a genuinely instructive pleasure. “Ice cores serve as important historical records for scientists interested in how our planet’s climate has changed, whether in the distant past or more recently. Like tree rings, layers of snow that fell and formed these cores can be counted and correlated to years in the past. In a core drilled from a place that sees minimal melting, “all those annual layers of snowfall are just in one undisturbed sequence back in time,” Steffensen says. “The deeper you go, the farther back in time you go.”” This is so interesting, and also feels like a decent starting point for an apocalyptic novel in the Crichton style, in which all the million-year-old ice samples melt as a result of a tech malfunction, releasing all sorts of exciting, long-dormant bacteria from the distant past into the world to wreak messily biological bodyhorror havoc. Actually, now I come to type that, that sounds horribly plausible. Please do not let the ice library melt.
  • Is Beyonce A Rapper?: I have no idea to what extent this is a question that keeps you up at night, but I really enjoyed this in-depth exploration of whether or not people see Beyonce as a singer or rapper based on data analysis of the relative popularity of her songs on Spotify – this is really nice work by Jasmine Guy.
  • Antonoffication: This has done the rounds this week and rightly so – as a takedown of ultra-bland superproducer Jack Antonoff it is deeply, deeply satisfying, but it also works as a piece of musical analysis and a more general assessment of the extent to which ‘music is content’ is now something that people actually say and believe, and what that means for what gets poured into our ears on a daily basis (there’s something interesting, to my mind at least, about the fact that we have never, ever in the history of humanity been exposed to so much music with such regularity and yet so much of it is so…utterly forgettable). Specifically, “Antonoffication is the process by which indie rock has adapted to the streaming era: not by doubling down on its status as “high” in opposition to a mass-cultural “low,” but by dispersing into the digital ether and infusing nearly every other genre. Along the way, without meaning to, Antonoff has given us perhaps the most fitting allegory for the status of music under the regime of streaming. In the hands of streaming platforms, the pop song as a form is impossibly big: capacious, spreadable through every vestige of space public or private, an always-on cinematic soundtrack to every moment everywhere for everyone. But it is also strangely small: not only because it is just one in a sea of interchangeable millions, but also because it is increasingly indistinguishable from any other content delivery device, any other configuration of mood-provoking elements.”
  • FRANK: A very UK-centric read, this one, all about the history and current status of the UK Governments youth-focused drugs helpline service, branded ‘Talk to FRANK’ as an attempt to make it feel approachable and not in fact like The Man was asking you to grass up your dealer. There was a time in the early/mid-2000s when the campaign felt genuinely subversive, and as the piece points out it employed a lot of non-standard techniques to ENGAGE ITS AUDIENCE – it’s also been a(nother) victim of underfunding by an administration that doesn’t give a fcuk about young people other than as a demographic to patronise and demonise, and as such has rather fallen by the wayside, but this is an interesting stroll down memory lane for those UK folk old enough to remember (someone I know once called up FRANK in the throes of a rather nasty comedown and was told by the person on the other end of the line that, based on what they claimed to have consumed, they ought to be dead, suggesting that the quality of advice given out wasn’t always of the highest quality, but still).
  • Notes On The Gambia: Another episode in Matt Lakeman’s pan-African travelogue (you may recall I linked to his impressions of Nigeria a few months back) – this time he finds himself in the Gambia, and, once again, this is a properly fascinating collection of observations about the country’s history and culture which, once again, occasionally made me wince slightly (I don’t think Mr Lakeman’s prose would survive contact with a cultural sensitivity reader, let’s say). I think it’s all in good faith, though, and as a series of impressions and vignettes from a country about which I know next-to-nothing is so, so interesting.
  • The Fake Poor Bride: This is GREAT – a proper bit of ‘how the other half live’ gawping, as a luxury wedding planner takes you into her world for a glimpse at the nuptials of the plute class. Perfect voyeurism which, miraculously, doesn’t ever descent entirely into ‘eat the rich’-ness, this is a wonderful confection.
  • Lockwood on DFW: Back to the LRB for this piece which, honestly, could have been commissioned JUST FOR ME – Patricia Lockwood writes about David Foster Wallace, initially about his posthumously-published, unfinished novel The Pale King and, subsequently, about his work and one’s appreciation of it in the wake of the revelations about Wallace’s status as a stalker and abuser and all round ‘danger’, in the parlance of the modern web. This is, throughout, astonishingly good – it obviously helps if you know Wallace and his work, but, honestly, even if you don’t then Lockwood’s writing stands on its own merits and her considerations around what ‘reading’ means, and the hoary old question about ‘the art vs the artist’ are worth reading, and there are sentences in here that made me stop and reread them and simultaneously clap internally while at the same time cursing Lockwood for her brilliance and myself for being a fcuking mediocre writer. This really is quite superb.
  • The Bingo Review: Finally in this week’s longreads, a piece of…fiction, ish, by Gabrielle de la Puente at White Pube, about bingo and family and class and poverty and and and and and fcuk me this stayed with me for the whole fortnight I was away and I have to share it with you because I loved it so so much. Please read it, it is very much worth it.

By Karlis Rekevics

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

Webcurios 23/06/23

Reading Time: 31 minutes

HELLO EVERYONE HELLO!

I am always reminded around this time of year of that time approximately nine years ago, when I was still working at Hill+Knowlton and Web Curios was (remarkably) published on the company’s actual, proper corporate website, and I chose to open a late-June edition with a riff about how I was alone in the office because all of my colleagues were either necking pills in a field in Somerset or snorting cocaine off the tanned midriffs of Central European hookers on the Croisette. I then went for something of a ‘long’ lunch with a mate, during which I received a phonecall from the company’s global head of digital in the US who had received…some complaints, and who was informing me that a) that week’s edition of Web Curios was sadly nuked from the web; and b) I should probably sober up, as there was an ‘awkward conversation’ in my future.  MEMORIES!

Anyway, how are you all? Have you had your fill of grim disaster bongo? Have you worked out exactly which of your internal organs you’re going to sell first to keep up with the repayments? Have you w4nked yourself dry after winning some leonine statuettes? DID YOU BRING THE DRUGS?!?!?!

Frankly I don’t care about the answers to any of those questions, as I am off on holiday for a couple of weeks and Web Curios is OFFICIALLY OFF DUTY until mid-July. Take care of yourselves, try not to die (but, if you must, do so cleanly), and don’t forget about me while I’m gone YOU FCUKS.

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and if you’re at Glastonbury PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN FFS.

***A SMALL TINY AWARDS UPDATE***

Thanks so much to everyone who nominated a site – we were slightly overwhelmed by the volume and quality of entries, and I got a bit emo about it tbqhwy. The selection panel is currently whittling down the entries, and the final nominations for the public vote will be announced in a week or so on the website – check back there, or follow Kristoffer’s newsletter, or just wait til I’m back and I’ll tell you then; voting will be open for ages, so there’s no rush. THANKS AGAIN TO EVERYONE WHO HAS GIVEN EVEN THE MOST CURSORY OF FCUKS ABOUT THIS SMALL ENDEAVOUR, IT IS VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!

By Philipp Keel

WE BEGIN WITH A RARE ANDREW WEATHERALL BOOTLEG OF SOME MID-90S HIPHOP, WHICH I APPRECIATE IS A CONCATENATION OF WORDS WHICH MAY WELL MEAN NOTHING TO YOUNGER READERS BUT WHICH I I PROMISE MEANS THAT THIS IS WORTH CLICKING ON!

THE SECTION WHICH IS ALREADY BRACED FOR THE GRIM INEVITABILITY OF THE ‘SUBMARINE SON’ NETFLIX SIX-PARTER COMING IN 2024, PT.1:  

  • Fading: I am a sucker for work which hovers around the intersection of digital and poetics – I like ‘words’ and ‘clicking on things’, turns out – and as such this first link in today’s selection is, to my mind, pretty much perfect. ‘Fading’ is one of the nine pieces included in the latest edition of The New River, which I can’t recall if I’ve featured here before, but self-describes as “one of the longest-running journals devoted to electronic literature and digital art…With the development of new technologies, artistic mediums, and aesthetic trends, The New River has adapted stylistically to feature dynamic works that prompt reflection on the world today. The Spring 2023 issue continues this commitment to inquisitive play with a collection of nine interactive and expansive pieces that implicate the user with a tactile, kinetic, and material approach to language. To experience this collection is to consider the stakes of our changing human predicament by engaging with various translations–of texts to kinetic screen, of language to another language, of human to bot and back again” (and yes, I know, you can put up with a tiny bit of pretentious artwank, right?). This is…I don’t quite know how to explain it (helpful, Matt, well done! Try harder ffs) other than to say that it sits somewhere between interactive fiction and prose poetry, that the relationship between words and reader is rendered deeper by the juxtaposition of copy and design, and that it’s quietly beautiful and not a little heartbreaking. It takes about 5 minutes to experience in full – take your time, it’s GORGEOUS (and very sad). I’ve not tried all of the other pieces in the collection, but the three or four others I’ve checked out are equally lovely, so do take the time to explore the rest of the issue.
  • Catharsis Now: I am going to assume that, if you’re reading this, that you LOVE THE WEB. Obviously that love takes many forms – I have no idea whether your particular variant of WebLove is of the sweaty-palmed and somewhat…breath-y variety, or the more self-contained, silent sort – but I like to think that all of you can remember a digital ‘moment’ or an online ‘thing’ that made you stop and think ‘fcuk, this is genuinely beautiful and amazing and human and WEIRD and I could lose myself in it forever’. My first, proper one of those was, I think, the seminal (‘important’ rather than ‘a load of old w4nk’) web project ‘We Feel Fine’  which used scraping tech to effectively pull a semi-realtime feed of what people blogging on the early-00s web were feeling at any given time, based on their use of the words ‘I feel…; – the site offered a beautiful, animated representation of these expressed feelings which you could explore and delve into, sorting by the emotion expressed or location or age of the writer, and, honestly, it was the most incredible and poignant and intensely *human* thing I had ever seen, and the first time I’d really got a sense of the fact that the web is just PEOPLE (yes, I know that’s obvious but in my defence I was young and stupid)..,anyway, that’s by way of overlong and unasked-for introduction to Catharsis Now, which is basically the same idea writ small. “The site grabs posts from the subreddit r/Offmychest and maps it according to sentiment and time. Find similar themes between the texts by selecting the red words within each post” – select the window of time you’d like it to draw content from, and then just explore, reading the post headlines or jumping in to explore the anonymous stories…honestly, I love this so so so much and I would like you to love it too.
  • New Creative Era: I think we can agree that we’re in something of a strange hinterland era when it comes to digital culture and connectivity – old networks in abeyance, the initial optimism for the FULLY-CONNECTED WORLD replaced by a general sense of disquiet about what, a technological interregnum as we wait to see exactly what direction all the shiny new toys will take us in…I’ve been saying for a year or so now (what do you mean “I am not listening and I don’t care”? FFS!) that it feels like there’s been a resurgence in the small web and the rejection of BIG PLATFORM in favour of something a bit more person-sized, and, to an extent, New Creative Era feels like an extension of that. A…zine? A manifesto? Both, I suppose. This is in part a blueprint for how we might try and perhaps think about doing and making and being online (sorry, that’s tooth-achingly pretentious, I realise, but I promise it’s sort-of justified, honest), and which at its heart embodies this central ethos which, personally, I very much like: “WE WANT A NEW CREATIVE ERA WHERE OUR WORK CAN BE VALUED WITHOUT COMPROMISING OUR OR ITS INTEGRITY WHERE IT’S NORMAL TO MAKE WORK BECAUSE IT FEELS RIGHT, NOT TO PLEASE AN ALGORITHM WHERE OUR WORK IS MEANINGFUL IF WE’RE PROUD OF IT, NOT BECAUSE IT WON ATTENTION”. I mean, quite. You can sign up to get updates from the people behind this (based in NYC, but, obviously, VERY ONLINE), although obviously I accept no responsibility whatsoever if rather than a benign, vaguely artistic collective of digital makers it instead turns out to be a death cult (it’s probably not a death cult).
  • The Lyttle Lytton 2023: There’s something a bit comforting (if, equally, redolent of the slow march to the grave) about the regular recurring annual Curios – I think I’ve been writing about the Lyttle Lytton contest for nearly a decade, and it continues to delight me every single year. For those of you who’ve forgotten (KEEP UP!), the Lyttle Lytton is the miniature cousin of the more famous Bulwer Lytton contest, which each year seeks the best deliberately-bad opening line to an imaginary novel – this is that, but with the length of the line capped at 25 words. AND WHAT WORDS THEY ARE! From sentences which are basically a headache in word form (honestly, I want to applaud the person who wrote this, but also kick them very hard for making my brain suffer through trying to parse it: “The sun rose through the diner behind which Thomas as a boy had often gone to kiss girls’s window.”) to those which feel on some level like an act of violence against the reader (“Jennifer finally became into a woman and blood dumped out her wet folds triumphantly” – I’m sorry, but if I had to suffer it then I see no reason why you should be spared), every single one of these is brilliant in its own way. You will all doubtless have your own favourites, but I’m personally awarding my ‘best of the year’ award to this spectacular piece of prose: “My life exploded on the day I found my wife galloping, like the fifth horseman of the apocalypse, Cuckoldry, upon her fateful steed, my brother’s manhood.”
  • Love Stories: Sadly between my finding this on Tuesday and my writing it up here at 739am on Friday morning the site has been put on pause – still, the archive is still up so you can explore the baffling and largely-nonsensical trove of romantic advice generated by a horde of AI bots in response to what are apparently actual questions from actual people. The premise of Love Stories was that you, the user, could submit any romantic dilemma you were currently facing (sample dilemmas currently on the site include “I want to approach women in coffee shops. What should I say?” and the significantly less-lighthearted “I had a miscarriage and my husband is moving on so much faster than me, how do I communicate with him about this grief?”) and your question would be ‘answered’ (I use this word advisedly) by an army of AI personas, each with a distinct personality and, er, vibe. So, for example, responses to the ‘how to chat up women in coffeeshops?’ question (to which, by the way, the answer is ‘DON’T’) include gems like “Approach with the confidence of securing a multi-million dollar property: “Excuse me, any chance you know of nearby luxury listings in the market for irresistible conversation?” *wink*” (I didn’t know that AI bots could wear fedoras but it seems they very much can) and “Ditch the cheesy lines, they’re useless. Walk over, be direct, ask if the seat’s taken. If not, sit and talk about the coffee shop’s vibe. P.S. Coffee jokes are for amateurs, keep it real.” This is very weird, but I think the oddest thing is that it exists at all – links like this remind me that there are a lot of very lonely, very confused people out there, and that perhaps the biggest side-effect of the coming rise of The Machine will be how it intersects with that loneliness and confusion.
  • Postal Service For The Dead: This is lovely, and a bit sad – “Postal Service for the Dead is an ongoing, collective project where people send letters to anyone in their life who has died. Birthdays, death days, anniversaries, holidays, or seemingly random days can all spark grief. Writing letters to those who have died has always been a powerful tool, but we felt something was missing – the physicality of stamping and mailing it out. So, we invite you to write a letter that helps your healing journey.” There is an accompanying Insta account on which you can read some of the submitted letters – there aren’t many posts, but, as you might expect, the ones that there are are devastating and tbh I had to stop reading just now because otherwise I’d just be a snotty mess at a keyboard and you’d be deprived of a Curios. Sad and lovely and cathartic and, obviously, thanatic as all fcuk.
  • Virgin Galactic: I think it’s fair to say that most observers have…doubts about commercial space tourism as a venture, and even more doubts about miraculously-Teflon handsy billionaire Richard Branson’s ability to build a functional business around the concept, but he’s still optimistically ploughing ahead with it and his Virgin Galactic project has a SHINY NEW WEBSITE promoting the opportunity for the very rich to waste a violent amount of their money and all our natural resources to spend a few minutes floating around in 0-G whilst gawping at the earth’s curvature. I’m including this not because I think space tourism is a good idea (I don’t think it is) or because I imagine any of you are the sorts of people who could drop a cool six figures on a trip into the near-stratosphere (if you ARE, though, can I ask that, well, you chuck me a quid or two? Because, honestly, you won’t miss it), but because it’s SO SHINY and SO FUTURE and, at the same time, such obvious vaporware. “THIS SUMMER!”, the promo video screams, before then offering you nothing more than the opportunity to sign up to a mailing list to learn more. Look, Richard, if you’re going to sell me on this dream you’re going to have to give me a few more concrete details about the package – what are the in-flight snacks like? What’s the entertainment selection? And, perhaps crucially, why is your corporate slogan – “Turning the impossible into the inevitable” – so incredibly sinister? Anyway, this all feels like total horsesh1t, but it’s quite scifi horsesh1t and the design of the spacecraft is legitimately quite cool, so it’s worth a click.
  • AI Speech Classifier: CAVEAT: I have no idea how accurate this is, and, based on the quality of those tools that purport to identify AI-generated text, I’d be inclined to skepticism – still, if you’d like a tool to help you try and work out whether a piece of audio is genuine or whether it’s instead been spoofed by ElevenLabs then this claims to do exactly that. It’s made by ElevenLabs themselves, so you’d expect it to be reasonably good at picking up stuff that was made with their kit, and if you’re the sort of person who has cause to be worried about, I don’t know, faked ransom demands left as voicemails on your phone (look, I have no idea who any of you are – for all I know, Curios’ readership consists mainly of low-ranking members of the central European organised crime pyramid) then this might be worth bookmarking.
  • Migrated SubReddits: As the Reddit row rumbles on, and the company’s CEO continues his seemingly-inexorable drive to burn through all the goodwill the platform’s accrued over the past decade or so in a matter of weeks, so an increasing number of areas of the site feel like they might not in fact ever come back (or at least not in quite the same way). This site is attempting to keep track of where some of the communities that used to live on Reddit have migrated to so that you can migrate with them – this is useful, but equally is a reminder of how *good* Reddit is as a platform and how inadequate some of the replacement community spaces are by comparison (look, I know that I am OLD and that this is very much ‘old man/clouds’ territory, but Discord is just a horrible app and any community built on a platform that doesn’t do archiving and searchability properly is, imho, an inadequate one).
  • Masahiro Maruyama: I tend not to feature fashion stuff on here, mainly because I have literally no sense of style whatsoever and don’t really understand it. That said, occasionally I come across stuff that even to my myopic and untrained eye is obviously VERY COOL, and so it is with the design and website of Masahiro Maruyama, who creates the most wonderful glasses I think I have ever seen. I WANT THEM ALL.
  • Hacker Simulation: I was expecting the ‘share a link to a specific prompt’ functionality that OpenAI added to GPT the other week to lead to a spate of interesting and curious LLM uses to spread around the web like wildfire, and I do wonder whether the fact that, to date, I haven’t, suggests that there are far more people talking about this stuff than there are actually using it – still, I have spotted a few interesting use-cases, and this one, in which the prompt sets up The Machine to play a game with you in which you’re tasked with inveigling information from it through persuasion and subterfuge: “In this game, you will play the role of a seasoned hacker from an underground operation, training a recruit (the user) in social engineering phone tactics. The user’s goal is to extract sensitive information from various employees of a fictional company, all under the guise of innocent phone calls.”  Not only moderately-engaging, but potentially useful if you feel like pivoting to phonescamming in your dotage (please don’t do that though).
  • GB Studio: Not, despite the name, anything to do with the production of tawdry culture war TV channel GB News (brief aside: I met someone who worked for GB News the other week; they were red-faced, sweaty, INCREDIBLY expensively-educated and wearing a two-tone shirt with a white collar, the sort beloved of a certain type of ‘man who works in finance’, and a signet ring; exactly the sort of person who you’d expect to be peddling rhetoric to The People about how ‘the woke elites’ are conspiring against them!) – instead, this is a fun set of tools to help you simply and (relatively) easily build Gameboy games which you can then play on an emulator. Requires a download and probably a not inconsiderable degree of work and effort, but if you’re in the market for something to keep you occupied for a fortnight while I’m on holiday then you could do worse than this.
  • MeatGPT: A small webproject about the importance of meatspace and all the things that The Machine cannot give us. This is GREAT, and silly, and whimsical, and features a pleasing amount of poorly-rendered fowl (and if that description doesn’t grab you then frankly you’re possibly dead).
  • Arty QR Code Generator: Remember the other week when I linked to those QR codes that had been generated with AI to look all lovely and arty? Remember how many times over the past fortnight you’ve seen them crop up in trends-y presentations? Well now there’s this site which gives you all the tools you need to make your own, working, aesthetically-pleasing QR codes all by yourself, so next time someone sends you the original you can send them back an artfully-crafted and gorgeous-looking link to this page.
  • Everything Is Alive: Thanks to reader Sam Liebeskind for sending this to me – whilst I personally abhor podcasts, I do love the premise of this one, which is basically ‘person interviews inanimate objects as though they were in fact sentient beings’ and is as silly as you’d expect whilst also being weirdly deep-feeling in places. This has been going for 5 years or so (genuinely pains me that this is the first I’ve heard of it) so there’s a decent long tail here should you decide to get into it.
  • The Mont Blanc Race: What strategic concept do you think links “a fancy pen” and “a game depicting a 4×4 driving very fast on a racetrack”? Nope, me neither! Still, I imagine that somewhere on a PC in Geneva exists a gorgeously-produced PPT explaining exactly why it is STRATEGICALLY VITAL that pen-peddlers Mont Blanc make an in-browser racing game to promote their writing implements – ignore the fact that there is literally no rational reason on earth why this should exist and instead revel in the fact that it’s a fun and fast-paced way to spend approximately 60s of your life and there’s an outside chance that you could win a voucher for a fancy biro if you’re really good at it.

By Chad Wright

YOUR NEXT MIX IS THIS EXCELLENT SELECTION OF SUPREMELY-SUMMERY HOUSE-Y SOUNDS MIXED BY LABEL8! 

THE SECTION WHICH IS ALREADY BRACED FOR THE GRIM INEVITABILITY OF THE ‘SUBMARINE SON’ NETFLIX SIX-PARTER COMING IN 2024, PT.2:    

  • The Whale Carbon Project: It feels uncontroversial to point out that a significant proportion of the industries that exist around carbon storage, carbon capture and carbon offsetting are at heart massive lies, designed to provide large corporations with the fig leaf of environmental responsibility whilst at the same time enabling them to continue merrily with the sort of business practices that are slowly fcuking us into the sun, environmentally speaking – still, I couldn’t help but fall slightly in love with this website/initiative which is, insofar as I can tell, trying to convince us that we can store excess carbon in, er, whales. Oh, ok, fine, it’s not *quite* that mad – but it does, if I’m reading this right, suggest that businesses should be able to claim some sort of carbon offsets by, er, helping to protect the plankton-hoovering undersea mammals. “Blue carbon is the carbon captured by marine and coastal ecosystems, and is an essential component to slowing the impact of climate change. Whales play a key ecological role in the ocean’s ability to sequester carbon from the atmosphere, but they have so far been largely overlooked by blue carbon and biodiversity initiatives.There are currently few incentives for industries to take measures to avoid harming whales. The Whale Carbon Plus Project is developing methodology based on remotely sensed images to quantify the contribution of whales to carbon sequestration and ecosystem resilience of the open ocean, and compensate ocean stakeholders that actively protect them.” Is this a thing? It feels…honestly, it feels like total bullsh1t, but I am obviously a know-nothing bozo when it comes to science and am willing to concede that I quite possibly don’t know what I’m talking about (on the offchance that any of you understand this stuff, er, can someone explain it to me please?).
  • Wikihouse: With the news this week that the simple act of ‘not being homeless’ in the UK is set to start costing upwards of three million pounds a day (I exaggerate, but only slightly) I can imagine that for some of you the possibility of building your own home, mortgage free, might seem rather more appealing than spending the rest of your in hock to the bank. Wikihouse is a really interesting initiative designed to help people who want to build their own home in a manner that’s affordable, sustainable and modular, and which offers all the guidance you need to get started. “WikiHouse is a manufactured building system for houses (actually, it can be used for many kinds of small building). It uses structural timber (usually plywood) sheets which are cut to 0.1mm precision, and assembled into basic building blocks, which can be delivered to site, then rapidly and accurately assembled by almost anyone, even if they don’t have traditional construction skills. Unlike some other manufactured building systems, WikiHouse is not produced in a large multi-million pound factory. WikiHouse parts can be digitally fabricated using a 4’x8′ CNC machine. This means that parts can be manufactured by small and medium enterprises (SMEs) in local micro-factories, that can be set up for a fraction of the cost. In fact, thousands already exist. Timber panels, e.g. plywood, are the perfect material for fabricating WikiHouse. Plywood is stronger and less sensitive to humidity variations than traditional sawn timber, and it is lighter than bricks, concrete and steel. This is translated into a much faster fabrication, more rapid assembly on site without heavy lifting equipment, and appealing internal finishing.” Such a good idea, this, which feels like it ought to be better known than it currently is.
  • Sh1t British Pics: OH GOD THIS IS GOOD. A Twitter account – a BRAND NEW Twitter account! Fresh ish on a dying platform! – which exists solely to share terrible images of British cultral history culled from the Getty Images archives. So you’ll find gems like ‘the boyband Blue opening an exhibit at Madame Tussauds’, say, or, more specifically, ‘Eastenders’ Gus and his girlfriend are denied entry to the Brit Awards afterparty at Movida in London (2006)’. This is AMAZING, and mines very much the same sort of vein of low-culture English weirdness that you’ll find in the similarly-wonderful Daytime Snaps run by my friend Nick – fine, you’ll have to be British to really get the most out of this, but you’ll forgive me the occasional anglocentric link because, well, LOOK HOW SH1T EVERYTHING IS HERE LET ME AT THE VERY LEAST OCCASIONALLY ROLL AROUND IN THE FILTH. Also, can you believe that “Stelios Haji-Ioannou Launches Easy Pizza – Press Conference (2004)” is a thing that a) happened; and b) demanded a photocall? Madness.
  • Sentr: Do any of you play in a Sunday League football team? Or perhaps you’re of an age where instead you spend your weekends driving your offspring to take part in matches where you and a selection of other parents spend a happy 90 minutes screaming spittle-flecked imprecations against the poor fcuker who’s giving up their free time to watch your Bambi-legged progeny flail across the grass in pursuit of the ball. Either way, if you take your weekend agonistic entertainment TOO SERIOUSLY then you may well adore this new company which basically lets you keep REALLY ACCURATE STATS about your Sunday league team so that you can once and for all prove WITH STATS that Fat Tony actually improves the team’s performance by an average 0.3pts a game when you stick him out on the right wing and basically ignore him. On the one hand, this is pretty cool and a smart idea – on the other, it does equally feel like the sort of thing that will lead at least one member of the side to start thinking of themselves as some sort of stats/data genius and producing FBRef-style  pizza charts to demonstrate why it is actually vital that they play a traditional trequartista role (and never track back).
  • Show Your Stripes: Whilst the idea of visualising climate change as a series of strips of colour along a timeline (look, click the link, you’ll see what I mean – what do you mean ‘ffs Matt your descriptions are a fcuking joke’?) isn’t new, I think this website is; created by the University of Reading, this site lets you pick any country you like and see exactly how scary the ‘everything’s getting hotter!’ trend looks for that specific place. These are…troubling, frankly – I just went and looked up Italy and the way all the lines go maroon after about 2013 did rather look like Bad News – so if you’d rather not have a bracing dose of climatehorror today then perhaps skip this one.
  • Bagel Reviews: On the one hand, I can’t imagine that there are two many of you who are desperate for a small website which exists solely to review the various bagels available in various places in the US; on the other, for all I know I might have a sizeable and VERY HUNGRY American readership for whom this will be an invaluable resource.
  • WebPills: Another website collecting examples of notable and high-quality webdesign, these collated by one Ludovic Losco (fabulous name, by the way). This has some really nice work on it – again, most of which I’ve not seen before – and as an inspiration source it’s very good indeed.
  • Counter Forms: I love the design of this site SO MUCH. “Counter Forms is a platform that champions emerging, discursive, antipodean type designers. Driven by typographic research, education and advocacy, we publish original typefaces and texts towards a more accessible, diverse and equitable future.”  The homepage is arranged as a series of notes-in-windows, a bit like digital post-it notes, and there’s something particularly charming about the way the interface design makes the content feel…fluid and personalisable in a way.
  • Trashfiles: SO MUCH HIGH CONCEPT! “A captivating user-generated archive meticulously documents the presence of discarded items across the globe. This collection not only provides visitors with a thought-provoking experience, encouraging them to contemplate the impact of our actions on the environment, but also serves as a wellspring of digital assets for artists and designers seeking to craft works centered around ecological themes.” This is simultaneously fascinating and depressing – basically anyone is invited to take a LIDAR scan of discarded packaging materials that they find and upload it to the site, creating this ongoing digital record of the physical detritus with which we’re slowly (and, increasingly, quickly) suffocating ourselves and the planet.
  • AI-Enabled Webscraping: Yes, I know, it’s a VERY BORING heading – but, equally, this is potentially very useful and so I shan’t apologise for it (SO THERE). This site’s called ‘Kadoa’ (no, me neither) and it basically lets you perform reasonably-complicated web scraping tasks with no coding required, all thanks to the MAGIC AND POWER OF AI. Which, if you’ve an idea for anything that leverages publicly available data at scale, could be really useful.
  • Zelda Builds: I imagine that either you or someone you know is currently obsessed with Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, and, specifically, the crafting system which means that you can literally build gyrocopters and laser cannons and, astonishingly, rudimentary computational devices in-game (I think, parenthetically, that I find ‘how other people play videogames’ one of the best and most interesting ways of really understanding that OTHER PEOPLE’S BRAINS WORK DIFFERENTLY – I simply do not think, or play games, like this, and I can’t help but feel a vague sense of intellectual inadequacy when I see this sort of thing) – if so, then you or they will LOVE this website which basically collects all sorts of examples of the frankly-INSANE stuff that people are creating, along with rudimentary instructions as to how to build them, and, honestly, it’s making me want to buy a Switch.
  • The Big Picture Competition 2023: The annual Big Picture photo context rolls around again, and this year’s crop of winning entries is typically strong – my personal favourite from the category winners is the woman and the wombat because, honestly, YOUR HEART IT MELTS.
  • Noramoji: A VERY SPECIFIC website, this, which exists to do one thing and one thing only – collect examples of the typography used in the signage of Japanese shops, and render them usable as digital fonts. Would YOU like to remake your website entirely in kanji that replicates the exact styling of a small ramen cafe in Okinawa? GREAT!
  • The News Minimalist: I do think that there’s a really interesting coming trend in AI-enabled assistants that, for example, each morning do a sweep of the web and present a tailored roundup to you based on your interests and in a style (written or visual) that you’ve previously specified – basically RSS with knobs on. I see the News Minimalist as being part of that vision of the future – it’s a smart idea, which is designed to create a newsfeed including only ‘the most significant’ stories, delivered in summary with no visual clutter, using GPT4 to analyse a range of stories, grade them for significance and then produce the summaries you see on-site. There are obvious questions about the methodology and the ability of an LLM to meaningfully gauge ‘significance’, but the principle here is really interesting and it struck me as a smart and imaginative use of the tech.
  • Design Archives: This is an AWESOME resource – basically this is all the graphic design stuff on the Internet Archive, in one place, searchable and browsable and just THERE, waiting for you to access it and magically become some sort of Le Corbusier (NB – it is vanishingly unlikely that you will become Le Corbusier as a result of this link).
  • A Field of Flowers: Ok, it’s not a field so much as a website – MUST YOU BE SO LITERAL?! – but, still, it’s lovely and there are LOTS of flowers. I’m finding myself increasingly drawn to Kristoffer’s vision of the web as a garden, and stuff like this feels like a pleasing evocation of that concept.
  • Crossbows and Catapults: I confess to letting out a genuine squeal of pleasure and exitement when I discovered this last weekend – to people of a certain vintage, Crossbows and Catapults was THE most incredible board game in the world, practically a real-life videogame in which you BUILT AN ACTUAL CASTLE and then spent a frantic 3 minutes SMASHING IT TO FCUKERY with ACTUAL CROSSBOWS and ACTUAL CATAPULTS and, seriously, in an era in which the Atari2600 was still considered a pretty cool piece of tech and we had to pretend that Manic Miner was fun, this was pretty much the exciting thing in the world. I never had a copy – POOR DEPRIVED MATT – but now I can banish the disappointment and resentment I feel towards my poor, dead mother for depriving me of the sweet, plastic-y siege playset by backing this (already massively overfunded) Kickstarter, which promises to once again welcome me into the world of plastic ramparts and satisfyingly-sprung crossbows and ballistas. Seriously, if you’re not familiar with the original game then click the link and be AMAZED (if you are, I imagine you’ll long since have given the campaign all your money).
  • The Rear of the Year Quiz: To the non-Brits amongst you, the concept of a country having a long-running national award given to the pleasingly-callipgyian celebrity of the year might seem…a bit weird? To those of us, though, who have grown up on this sceptered isle and fondly remember the weirdly-asexual photoshoots that saw famouses of the calibre of Carole Vorderman and Daniel Radcliffe (no, really) smiling coquettishly over their shoulders as they displayed their prize-winning buttocks, though, this quiz – which challenges you to remember who won each year – will be a pleasing trip down memory lane (also, if any of you get all of these right then you have a series of problems and I strongly suspect that you might be on some sort of official register).
  • The Great When?: A brilliant little game, this, made by Monkeon: “There’s loads of archive footage of London uploaded to YouTube. We’ll play you a random one, starting at a random moment. Your challenge? Guess what year it is.” Aside from anything else it’s a useful reminder that it is nearly impossible to tell the late-80s from the mid-90s, which feels…weird, but possibly speaks to the sort of horrible national stasis that we went through in the fag-end years of the last great Tory horrorshow.
  • Blood In Baldur’s Gate: Last up among the miscellania this week is this tie-in game to promote the forthcoming launch of the Baldur’s Gate 3 videogame; this is a light, browser-based detective game with a neat twist, whereby the narrative that develops over time (it’s been running a few days, with new plot developments dropping every 24h) being in large part determined by player votes on where to go and what to do as you (the player and character) investigate a mysterious murder. This feels a bit like the Fallen London games, vibe-wise, and I very much like the way it builds community into the gameplay- really interesting series of mechanics here which I think could usefully be tweaked and lifted for other stuff, should you be so minded.

By Dana Powell

LAST UP THIS WEEK WE HAVE A WHOLE NEW ALBUM FROM WEB CURIOS FAVOURITE OLOFF WHICH I GENUINELY THINK IS A GREAT-IF-WONKY-RECORD AND WHICH I WOULD LIKE TO ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO HAVE A LISTEN TO BECAUSE IT IS UNLIKELY THAT YOU WILL HEAR ANYTHING ELSE LIKE IT TODAY!

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

  • Imaginary Instruments: NOT A TUMBLR! But still wonderful – this site collects writings and images and thinking around the concept of imaginary instruments, from the April Fool’s inventions of the Moog synthmakers to flights of fancy from late-19thC literature: “Imaginary instruments are a special kind of technological phenomenon. Such instruments never fully make the passage from the imagination into the world. They remain unconsummated objects, indifferent to the chaotic forces at play outside the test-tube of pure conceptuality. Ranging from the physically impossible to the simply impractical, from the “never” to the “not yet,” imaginary instruments rattle suggestively at the windowpane separating our comfortable sense of reality from that nebulous space beyond. In the words of Ernst Cassirer, such instruments are “concerned in the final analysis not with what is, but with what could be.”” So lovely, this.

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • Fire Hydrants of Europe: You…you don’t really need me to describe this for you, do you? Please note, this features EXCLUSIVELY European hydrants, so any of you filthy perverts looking for the South American variants will have to look elsewhere to fulfil your dark fetishistic desires.
  • The AI Experiment: I am, in the main, now entirely bored of AI art styles (there are occasional exceptions, but it feels like there’s too much stylisation baked into the current models which means I can’t see beyond the Midjourney-ness, if you see what I mean), but I quite enjoy this Insta account which creates fantastical historical pictures of grizzled old prospectors standing outside a sepia-tinted Castle Greyskull (for example). You could literally RUIN a child’s conception of truth and falsehood with stuff like this, which I would imagine is exactly what is quietly happening to pliable young minds the world over (which is a nice thought, isn’t it?).
  • High School High: Examples of excellent design and typography from oldschool US high school yearbooks, mainly from the 70s and 80s. SO MUCH GOOD MATERIAL.
  • Rohit Roygre: Rohit Roygre is a man who is giving up fizzy drinks, and is posting daily updates as to his progress to TikTok (and then reposting them on this Insta, because why not?). You may not think that your life will be improved by a nondescript South Asian man posting a video each day in which he proudly proclaims ‘No fizzy!’, but I promise you that it really will.

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

  • Life-Centred Design: This is *possibly*a touch w4nky, fine, but I very much enjoyed the principles its communicating – to whit, that any concept of design that seeks to adequately address the Trying Environmental Moment(™) we currently find ourselves in should move from a human-centric approach to what the author terms a ‘life-centric’ or ‘earth-centric’ approach, and that (I am simplifying here, but broadly-speaking) the anthropocentrism of our design thinking is in part responsible for Where We Are Now. This, basically: “Instead of a human-centered approach, we need to think of a life-centered or earth-centered design methodology. Humans make up approximately 0.01 percent of all life on earth. Yet a vast majority of all we do as designers is done with them in mind. If we want to invest in sustainable design and reduce negative impacts on the environment, we need to stop centering on the human. We must understand the problem from the viewpoint of nature—investigate its unique needs and requirements, identify its fragilities, and embrace the immense opportunities it offers for cooperation. We need to see ourselves as part of a symbiotic, greater whole and start planning for a “long now” that looks deep into the future.”
  • Probable Events Poison Reality: Mckinzie recently released another of those seemingly-neverending consultancy reports in which they predict the world-shaking impact of whatever piece of technology is currently being breathlessly promoted as THE FUTURE OF EVERYTHING by the VC community – this time it was AI (again), which according to this latest collection of made-up numbers is going to contribute somewhere in the region of 15 digits to the global economy. ISN’T THAT EXCITING? As this excellent essay points out, there’s a lot of interesting assumptions contained within reports such as this, about the role of technology and what exactly the point of all this ‘growth’ is anyway – it segues into a wider debate about the web, and worth, and value, and who extracts it, and it’s generally a super-smart piece of writing. “It’s no longer sufficient for a technology simply to be new in order to inspire some sort of modernist faith in its beneficial possibilities or its aesthetic superiority. The overarching conditions of growing inequality and immiseration — and the bluntness with which these are experienced — make it quixotic to believe that progress is happening automatically. Recent technological pitches — crypto, the “metaverse,” and generative AI — seem harder to defend as inevitable universal improvements of anything at all. It is all too easy to see them as gratuitous innovations whose imagined use cases seem far-fetched at best and otherwise detrimental to all but the select few likely to profit from imposing them on society. They make it starkly clear that the main purpose of technology developed under capitalism is to secure profit and sustain an unjust economic system and social hierarchies, not to advance human flourishing.”
  • AI and Human Labour: A superb piece of joint reporting by The Verge and New York Magazine on the very real people whose labour is being used to train the AI systems on which we are increasingly convinced the future will be constructed. This is very good indeed, both on the practice of how this data cleaning and labelling works and who does it, and on the economics that underpin it, and all the ways in which we tend to abstract people out of the picture when it comes to our conception of how technology is developed and run. The line at the end about the datalabellers turning to GPT to assist them with classification was an interesting one to me – we’re starting to hear more about the likely impact on the next generation of AI systems being trained on the dreck spat out by the current generation, but there’s also the question of the impact on the quality of piecework like that undertaken on Mechanical Turk if you introduce the famously-inaccurate and occasionally-hallucinatory GPT into the mix. It’s interesting to think of all the ways in which we might be laying landmines for ourselves, isn’t it?
  • Fcuk Purpose: Very much one for the advermarketingpr heads here, but if you’re unfortunate enough to fall into that beknighted category then you might enjoy this – it’s a three-part essay by Nick Asbury (this is the first, each subsequent bit is linked at the end of the last) on exactly why it is that ‘purpose-led’ communications is a waste of time and produces bad work. If you’ve found yourself in a professional situation recently where you’ve had to pretend to give a fcuk about ‘communicating the relevance of a global SaaS platform to efforts to empower marginalised creators to find and uplift their true selves’ (to coin but one plausible-sounding example of this sort of sh1t) then you will very much enjoy this piece, which does a very good job of breaking down all the reasons why fixating on ‘purpose’ results in an awful lot of bullsh1t comms and content and, in general, is ‘strategically’ (sorry) stupid. This is excellent, and a nice counterpart to the annual orgy of self-congratulation which has just finished happening on the French Riviera.
  • The New Floridian: A small story about linguistics here, which I really enjoyed, not least because as an Italian speaker I can totally understand the how and why of this – this piece looks at how the city’s Latin population is developing new English argot, by taking the verbal cadences and grammatical structures of Spanish and applying them in literal translation to English. So ‘to take a photo’ becomes ‘to make a photo’ because the verb in the Spanish language phrase is ‘hacer’; similarly you don’t ‘host’ or ‘throw’ a party, you ‘make’ one; you don’t ‘get out’ of a car, you ‘get down’ from one…I love things about how language changes and evolves, and this is no exception.
  • The iPhone in SE Asia: This was interesting to me – I have no particular interest in mobile phones and the overall market for the category, but I’d long assumed that Apple simply wasn’t a thing in Indonesia, Malaysia, Singapore and the wider region, and that various local manufacturers and the Android ecosystem had established a position of unassailable dominance. Turns out that that’s not in fact true and Apple is the fastest-growing mobile brand in terms of sales volume – there’s some interesting stuff in this Rest of World piece about the Apple brand’s capture of GenZ attention in the region and the shift in price point that’s helped them expand share.
  • Miranda July: I have a not-inconsiderable brain crush on Miranda July – her films are great, her books are great, she makes genuinely interesting art and she has an understanding of the web and its potential for creative experimentation that I have always admired. This is a transcript of a conversation between her and one Luz Blumenfeld in which they cover artistic practice, creativity and the web, and just generally have a lovely chat about July’s career and artistic practice; if you know and admire her work, you will find this an interesting exploration – and if not, go and check out Learning To Love You More to give you an idea of the themes she explores (or, er, don’t! I’m not your boss!).
  • Merchandising the Void: Oh yes this is EXCELLENT – a proper, slightly-pretentious, possibly-overthought meditation on the concept of the pantry, domestic space, the creation and curation of the ‘grid’ aesthetic, the Kardashians, Adorno…honestly, this is really excellent and really smart, and very very interesting, even if the contemplation of the phrase ‘the semiotics of the shelf’ makes you want to lie down in a darkened room with a damp cloth over your eyes. “The grid is the ultimate platform for modern economic activity. Anyone who has spent time with the infinite rectangles of the Excel spreadsheet can tell you that. Its extensible format and the flat clarity of the empty cells offers a space of possibility where the user can harness numbers and create order from enormous and unruly sets of information. Unlike the blank page or empty document that are terrifying in their formlessness, the grid gives the sense of a world always already ordered. What relief. Names, dates, invoice numbers, innumerable animals, all contained and ready to be manipulated.”
  • The Comm: In linking to this piece on VICE I am aware that I’m possibly perpetuating a joke played on Old Person Media by teenagers – it’s impossible not to read this and at times wonder whether this is just the result of an elaborate prank being played by a bunch of post-Chan kids in the same vein as the Grunge Dictionary, or jenkem – but, equally, it’s also entirely possible that it’s true. WHO KNOWS? The story suggests that there is a loose aggregation of young people coordinating to show off about petty crime and minor larceny across various messaging platforms, all under the vague collective moniker of ‘The Comm’ – this is all on Discord, basically, which feels about right; you’d expect a new platform-specific kidculture to spring up there if anywhere. Basically this just feels like ‘SomethingAwful for a new generation’, but that’s possibly the jaded sighing of a man who has been online too much, too long, and who is maybe ready for everything to stop.
  • The Closet Has Teeth: This is an astonishing piece of writing. Finn Deerhart writes about his experiences as a young, closeted gay man in the 90s – he himself was the son of a minister and, as you might expect, a touch…conflicted about himself and his sexuality, and this is a very raw, very honest piece of writing about what that felt like and what it looked like and how he lived the years before he could be comfortable with who he was. Superbly written but, for avoidance of doubt, also contains a lot of explicit scenes of men fcuking other men, should that be something that you have particularly strong feelings about one way or the other.
  • Meals for One: Sharanya Deepak writes about cooking and comfort and the oddity of mealtimes when you’re only cooking for yourself, and the ways in which that ritual can become a form of comfort, and the hidden, secret meals we will only ever make for ourselves, and this will make you hungry and possibly a little bit homeseick at the same time.
  • My Literary Breakup: This is a hell of an essay about what sounds like a…difficult person. I don’t really want to spoil it by describing it too much – here’s the preface to the piece, which I think tells you all you need to know: “The writer Elisabeth Åsbrink was friends with the controversial Swedish playwright Lars Norén for 15 years. One day he suddenly declared that the friendship was over. It meant that she went from being loved in the first three volumes of his published diaries to being loathed in the final two. Here, Åsbrink writes about their complicated relationship. Norén died in January 2021 from complications owing to COVID-19, three months after this essay was originally written.” It’s fair to say that Norén sounds like a somewhat challenging individual.
  • Goodnight Phone: A brilliant interactive comic by Gina Wynbrandt. Just click the link and scroll and enjoy, and realise as you do so that what you are reading is perhaps the best and truest evocation of a very specific, very modern, set of feelings that you haven’t felt articulated quite this way ever before.
  • Blair’s Blokes: The Fence is carrying some of my favourite writing in the UK at the moment, and this look back at some of the men that defined the New Labour era is no exception. Brilliantly-barbed little pen portraits of people lionised in the Cool Britannia era – Noal Gallagher, Jamie Oliver, David Blunkett, the entire ‘Fathers 4 Justice’ movement…the late-90s/early-00s feel increasingly like a fever–dream of something that didn’t really happen, and to be honest reading these does little to lessen that feeling.
  • A World Run By Mothers: Saba Sama writes brilliantly in Granta about motherhood, family, young love and uncertainty and circumstance – this is excellent.
  • Should I Write About My Dead Mother?: I found this a surprisingly-affecting and formally-interesting use of GPT as an essay-writing companion; there’s something about the juxtaposition between the human call and machine response in this piece that gave me a not-inconsiderable emotional kick, although that may just be that I’m coming up to a year from my own mother’s death and feeling a bit fragile about it. See what you think.
  • Vibe Shift: Finally this week, this is VERY VERY VERY GOOD and also annoyingly clever, and part of me thinks that Peter Richardson, whose work it is, might be a genius. Your second piece of machine-enabled writing of the week – or is it? A rare instance of pseudo-experimental fiction also being immensely readable, I loved this (even though it made me jealous of the talent behind it).

By Sebastian Bieniek

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

Webcurios 16/06/23

Reading Time: 35 minutes

It has, it’s fair to say, been something of a trying week for stumpy-fingered populists.

More than enough ink has been spilt on That Fcuking Man and the parties and the lies (and my thoughts on him remain unchanged); a similar amount continues to be spaffed on That Other Fcuking Man and whether or not he’ll end up governing from jail; and yet, because of the packed nature of the week’s news schedule, it feels like Silvio’s been rather ignored. Which, given that his CV includes (deep breath) cruise ship singing, an improbable and incredibly-murkily-financed property empire (it’s interesting to note that when Nanni Moretti made the film ‘Il Caimano’, an oddly-familiar tale about a Northern Italian property magnate who pivoted to media and then politics, all the while backed by a lot of money from organised crime, writs from Silvio there came a-none!), the literal transformation of an entire country’s media landscape and, as a result, its relationship to money and capital and consumerism and STUFF (not to mention sex), the football clubs, the whole ‘managing to get elected not once but three fcuking times’ thing (there’s a strong argument to suggest that Italians are the most masochistic of all the European nations, until one looks closer to home and realises that the English remain unbeatable), the rampant tax evasion and collusion with some incredibly unsavoury parties over the years, the friendship with Putin, the whole period where he seemingly spent every single European summit making gags about how he really didn’t want to fcuk Angela Merkel, the rampant libido (and the hookers, and the underage hookers, and the mistresses and the affairs and the open promotion to cabinet positions of attractive TV presenters for fairly transparent reasons), the messianic delusions, the constant feeling that everyone was laughing at Italy BECAUSE THEY WERE…Oh, Silvio, what you gave us!

In the main this week, though, I was sad that he outlived my mum, because she fcuking hated that cnut.

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, e spero che Silvio venga inculato dal diavolo giornalmente.

By Klaus Kremmerz

WE BEGIN THIS WEEK WITH A MIX THAT I CAN ONLY DESCRIBE AS ‘ADHD HARDCORE’, AND WHICH I DON’T REALLY WANT TO SAY TOO MUCH ABOUT OTHER THAN SUGGESTING YOU GIVE IT A TRY AND TURN IT UP LOUD AND DON’T BE SCARED AND JUST SORT OF TRY AND LEAN INTO THE GENERAL, TERRIFYING INSANITY OF THE WHOLE THING, AND WHICH WHILST NOT WHAT YOU MIGHT CALL ‘GOOD’ EXACTLY IS CERTAINLY INTERESTING AND WILL DEFINITELY WAKE YOU FROM WHATEVER TORPOR YOU MIGHT CURRENTLY BE AFFLICTED WITH!

THE SECTION WHICH IS SLIGHTLY DISAPPOINTED THAT NOONE’S YET SEEN FIT TO MAKE AI SILVIO, PT.1:  

  • Ask Jesus: It’s been a big week for finding God in the machine. Hot on the heels of the AI-generated homily in Germany (which, given the Church has, er, struggled with PR of late, was a pretty decent stunt imho) comes this frankly staggering Twitch stream (by these people, apparently) which lets users ask questions of an AI-generated Jesus, complete with soulful, doelike eyes and the stereotypical-if-historically-improbable lovely, well-conditioned long hair. Jesus has been going for a few days now – he’s live at the time of writing, though as with all these projects there’s a chance that he’ll be pulled from the platform for saying something…er…not entirely in keeping with the general vibe of the scriptures, let’s say – and, honestly, this is INSANE. OK, so he’s unaccountably got an American accent (I presume this has something to do with the fact that this is running on a bunch of free stuff and as such it’s just using a very basic ‘American male’ text-to-speech model) and he appears to be surprisingly au fait with, er, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Pokemon, and a series of other post-digital cultural artefacts that you wouldn’t necessarily imagine being within the purview of a supreme being (but, then again, ominiscience innit), but I’ve been watching this on and off for a while and it’s really, really impressive. It’s…remarkably Jesus-y, if that doesn’t sound too mad – it doesn’t veer into hate, it’s measured and ‘kind’ in its responses, its replies to evidently-goading questions are measured. There’s also some clever stuff going on with the token use here; Jesus has a rudimentary short-term memory, calling back previous questions asked by other users when formulating responses, which is genuinely impressive. Obviously the questions being asked tend towards the slightly-juvenile; you’re likely to see a lot of things about whether Jesus would kiss a man, what he thinks the most OP character build in Elden Ring is, and instructing him to rap (Jesus, it turns out, has abysmal flow), but there’s also the occasional sincere question in there about moral dilemmas which is…weirdly touching, I think? OH MY GOD JESUS JUST SAID THAT ‘SPONGEBOB HAS CHRISTLIKE QUALITIES’ (whilst then going on to patiently explain that, obviously, this is an approximation and Spongebob is of course a fictional character). Also, aside from anything else, there’s something genuinely funny about hearing Jesus addressing ‘BongoMcButtplug69’ by name. This is obviously totally silly, but it’s also incredibly fcuking impressive – spend five minutes watching this and then try and persuade yourself that an AI church isn’t near-inevitable in a future that’s probably sooner than you think.
  • Trump or Biden 2024: From the sublime and benign to the slightly more ridiculous and significantly less wholesome – this is another AI Twitch stream (interesting that there’s been a wave of new ones this week after the initial round at the beginning of the year – there’s this Family Guy one too, should you be interested) which offers the less-than-edifying spectacle of an AI-generated Donald Trump and an equally-AI-generated Joe Biden having a neverending ‘debate’ powered by The Machine and goaded/directed by the chat in the sidebar. It’s unclear what it’s running on, but it’s been jailbroken to an enough of an extent that you can ‘enjoy’ Donald swearing at Joe and calling him (per what I just listened to) ‘a useless senile motherfcuker’. The voice models here are genuinely impressive – the cadence of Trump’s speech isn’t *quite* right, but it’s certainly good enough to fool a casual listener – and even the video is pretty good (if obviously fake), and as I have it running in the background I can’t help but wonder what the everliving fcuk this stuff is going to look like in a year’s time when America’s hurtling to what promises to be a spectacularly mad and angry contest, even by their already mad and angry standards. Take a moment to reflect – a year ago, this would have been literally impossible to create; now, it can be created by children using free tools, and it’s…astonishingly good. We are in for some INTERESTING TIMES.
  • Facebook MusicGen: Another text-to-music model was released this week, this one by Facebook – unlike Google’s version from last month, this one is available to play with on HuggingFace so you don’t need to wait for access. It’s, muchlike Google’s version, scarily impressive – muchlike Google’s, this one struggles with drum’n’bass (is it because Americans don’t really understand it? Genuinely curious if it’s simply a lack of the genre in the training data) but it absolutely nails Kenny G-style light jazz (which, we can all agree, is exactly what we wanted from a Machine-enabled future – Kenny G-style light jazz for all!); perhaps more interestingly, it also lets you upload an existing musical fragment to use as a ‘seed’ for its own compositions, which effectively opens up the possibility of audio transfer – we’re going to see a degree of horrible audio Frankensteining the like of which we haven’t experienced since the heady days of the mashups boom of the early-00s.
  • Saved Memories: I’ve been personally surprised at the lack of advermarketingprwork using the current wave of AI tools – I’d have expected to see more people making a song and dance of it, but aside from a few examples (I’m already bored of those fcuking GPT-generated fast food posters from Brazil and it’s only been three days) there’s been very little in the wild. That said, all of you going to Cannes won’t be able to move for people talking about, misunderstanding, trying to sell and drinking to forget AI, so, er, have fun! You poor bstards. Anyway, this *is* an example of AI-enabled work, and a really nice example it is too. Saved Memories is a piece of work from Germany, by a collection of not-for-profit organisations working with trans people and their families, which uses AI tools to reimagine the childhood photographs of trans people to show them as children presenting their desired gender rather that assigned to them at birth. “For many trans people, looking at photos of children is uncomfortable or painful. Old pictures are kept where no one can see them and part of their life remains hidden. The SAVED MEMORIES project was created to bring children’s photos back to light using artificial intelligence. By adjusting the photos, trans people can develop a new relationship with old childhood photos and memories. This website introduces the people behind the project and shows how free AI tools can be used to create Saved Memories for yourself or loved ones.” I thought this was lovely work – sensitive, helpful, and not attempting to sell anyone anything – and it leans into things that the current crop of image AI do very well rather than trying to overstretch their capabilities in ways that don’t fit. I wouldn’t be hugely surprised to see this concept being lifted by a brand, which, frankly, would be a shame.
  • Drama in a Snap: This is *such* a nice idea! Reader Luke Somasundram emailed me to tell me about this project developed by Singapore-based theatre company Checkpoint Theatre, which uses Snap’s best-in-class object recognition AI and the platforms Lens function to make this lovely little toy-type thing; as Luke wrote, “They’ve made something called Drama In A Snap. It’s an instant story generator that uses A.I. to identify objects and then reveal a human-written story about said object. So you can discover the secret schemes of your coffee cup. Or the hidden tragedy of your futon. Or what that nondescript car across the street is really hiding.” There’s something lovely and pleasingly-whimsical about the idea of pointing your phone at any inanimate object you fancy and getting a small story or vignette about said object that makes you look at it or think of it in a slightly different way; there are apparently about 500 different objects with stories written for them that can be enjoyed, and I think there’s a huge amount of possibility in the base idea here – it feels like it might be a nice stretch to maybe crowdsource the storywriting here, opening it up to the world to create an ever-growing database of the secret storie, dreams and fears of the inanimate to discover and explore whenever you feel like it, and I think with a little bit of stretching you could make something genuinely creatively interesting (but, equally, it’s a lovely little project as-is). So, so cute.
  • The Dreamkeeper: It is a truth universally acknowledged that there is literally nothing more boring in the quantum of human experience than listening to someone tell you about a dream that they have had (it is true; even if your dream involved you having acrobatic sex with Harry Styles and Doja Cat (to pick two famouses from my subconscious; other erotic fantasies are available) while riding a unicorn that was also a space rocket, it is still less interesting to listen to than the Shipping Forecast); it is equally true that this doesn’t stop people from insisting on doing just that. Still, if you’re the sort of person who can’t hold back (“no, it was SO RANDOM, I was flying and Harry was just so SEXY!”) then why not mix it up a bit by using this AI-image generation toy (itself a bit of marketing for some Aussie software company) that will VISUALISE YOUR DREAMS?? Except it won’t really – what it will actually do is create a vaguely-fuzzy-round-the-edges sort of watercolour-ish semi-interpretation of your prompt with a bit of light animation, which, whilst probably bearing no relation whatsoever to the marvels you saw in your mind’s eye, do I suppose look a *bit* dreamy. It’s momentarily distracting to look through the gallery here of the things that other users have requested (turns out a LOT of people dream about horses, or alternatively that this site has been so far exclusively used by teenage girls going through a pony faze), but I warn you that if your dreams tend more towards the ‘a man made of knives chasing me through the bleeding teeth forest’ rather than ‘a carpet of puppies’ then this may struggle to fully capture the inside of your head. Which, perhaps, is for the best.
  • NskYC: This website is less interesting now that New York’s skies have stopped being that pleasing shade of apocalypse orange, but I still like the idea – this shows the colour of the sky over New York every hour or so, with the colour presented as a Pantone block, creating a rather lovely cyclical artwork of blues and, at night, black. I would very much like this to expand to include a bunch of the world’s cities – if nothing else I think the ability to see the slight tonal contrasts in the hue of the sky at different locations would be fascinating. So, er, yeah, if one of you could make that then that would be lovely, thanks.
  • Lihpao: I am not, I promise, going to keep featuring AI chum sites – the novelty has, frankly, already worn off – but I thought this one was interesting because it’s just VAST and shows the ease with which junk content gets created and the sheer volume of it that the web is shortly going to be absolutely overwhelmed with. Lihpao is, similar to the couple of sites I featured last week, a very clear ‘scrape top trending search topics, spin up GPT-generated junk copy for each in the general ‘instructional/how-to’ style, occasionally throw in a (genuinely horrifying, in the main) AI-generated image to sex the whole thing up a bit, and then publish, seemingly without any actual people bothering to look at the content that is being produced. So the site contains seemingly thousands of articles on a dizzying array of topics, from “Where Can I Get a Throat Culture? A Comprehensive Guide” (no, me neither) to ‘How Long After Lipo Can I Go To The Beach?” (as ever with these things, one of the oddest aspects is the light it shines on contemporary culture – Google searches are still a window into the collective soul, of sorts, and WOW is our collective soul…weird), none of which really contain any information of value or, quite often, make any sense at all. I am perhaps being stupid here, but as far as I can tell there aren’t any ads on the site and so I have no idea what the monetisation play is, but you assume that there is one somewhere – in any case, this sort of stuff really is going to be EVERYWHERE in no time at all (and just you wait til all the AI-agent stuff takes off and you’re able to set The Machine running in the background in semi-autonomous fashion), so let’s sit back and see what that does to the already-declining quality of the informational water table (we can, I think, probably take a reasonably-informed guess). BONUS AI CONTENT: The Allium is ‘satire’ written by AI and, honestly, it’s reassuringly utterly terrible.
  • Graffiti Removals: Have you ever thought “you know, there’s something ineffably soothing about watching people methodically cleaning graffiti off walls with a pressure hose, I do wish there were a place online where I could go to do nothing other than gaze in rapt wonder at the marvel and majesty of the process” (and, frankly, who hasn’t? NO FCUKER, etc)? YOU ARE IN LUCK! Graffiti Removals is EXACTLY the site you were after (although in fairness not all the removals involve a high-pressure hose) – although actually, now that I have looked at it a bit more and thought about it a second, I am struck with the question: is…is this a fetish thing? Please, if any of you happen to know the answer to this, keep it to yourselves.
  • Beeper: I only came across this this morning and as such haven’t had a chance to test it out yet, but it doesn’t *look* like malware so, er, it’s probably fine! Beeper is the latest iteration of the increasingly-necessary ‘get all the messages from all the annoying messaging platforms you’re now forced to use due to the fact that all your friendship groups have inexplicably decided to use a different service to communicate with and it’s becoming so tedious to have to switch between Signal and Telegram and Insta and WhatsApp and Snap and iMessage that you’re considering murdering all your friends with your bare hands rather than having to open yet another fcuking app just to have a tedious conversation about mundane gymgoing plans’ tools, and has the advantage of seemingly being free to use. The idea here is simple – it pulls all the messages from across your various inboxes into one place – and it apparently has a decent desktop client too, and, honestly, this looks super-useful.
  • Sleep Talk Recorder: Does your partner talk in their sleep? WHAT DO THEY SAY?! If it’s something particularly amusing – or incriminating – you may want to record it using this very specific app, which is designed to sit dormant while you kip and then, when it hears you mumble and splutter, record in short bursts. Your mileage from this will really depend on how amusing and whimsical you find it to listen back to your partner’s mumbled slurrings of ‘pass the jam, Tony, it has a sprocket on it’ – there are a few examples of people’s recordings on the homepage for you to listen to, some of which are..less amusing than others. Honestly, if what this app picked up was my screaming in terror then I would perhaps be more inclined to seek some sort of therapeutic help than to upload it for the amusement of online strangers but, well, it takes all sorts.
  • Ghost City Avenue S: Full disclusure – I have no idea what this is, or who it’s by, or what it’s for, or what it’s trying to do/say/be. Still, with those not-insignificant caveats aside, this is bafflingly-great! A selection of links which take you to a bafflingly-wide-ranging selection of photos and small animations, all accumulated over the past three years in pursuit of…what? I will probably never know (but if you find out, please tell me).
  • The Motivational Video Archive: I think I have mentioned before how much I dislike video installations in galleries – weirdly, the same stuff is far more acceptable to me on my own digital screens, which is perhaps why I enjoyed browsing the Motivational Video Archive so much. There’s limited information on the site itself about what the fcuk it is, but a bit of digging led me to this excellent explainer page which outlines what the project is, who made it (Michelle Ellsworth) and how it came about: “The Motivational Video Archive was not, at its outset, an art project. Instead, it was a repository of videos that Ellsworth, now 50, has made for personal use, to coax herself through difficult life events and creative blockages. The videos “are like used Kleenex in the corner of my room,” Ellsworth told me. She makes new videos in times of personal need, uploads them in periodic dumps, and then doesn’t think about them. When I asked her why she uploaded them to the internet, she explained that in Boulder, where she lives and teaches in UC Boulder’s Theatre & Dance department, one has to evacuate every year for wildfires. She’d rather have the videos online than risk losing the VHS tapes in her bathroom cabinet.” These are…honestly, these are amazing. Every single one I have watched (a fraction of the many, many on the site) is so striking – weird and too-intense and overly personal and very obviously ‘art video’, and they made me feel ‘odd’ in the way that the very best work does, and, seriously, I can’t recommend this enough.

By Melody Tuttle

NEXT WE HAVE SOME D’N’B WITH THIS EXCELLENT EP BY ANAIS! 

THE SECTION WHICH IS SLIGHTLY DISAPPOINTED THAT NOONE’S YET SEEN FIT TO MAKE AI SILVIO, PT.2:    

  • Chicken Orb: With everything continuing to get, well, significantly more expensive, perhaps its time that we all became a bit more self-sufficient when it comes to our food? With that in mind, let me present to you THE CHICKEN ORB! Have you ever thought ‘you know, I’d really like to have a chicken but I just don’t know whether their foraging and general behaviour is compatible with my lovely urban garden’? WELL FEAR NO MORE! The chicken orb is, basically, a Zorb for fowl – you basically lob the bird into the spherical cage and it can wonder round freely, but it means you can more easily confine it to a certain bit of garden without the need for complex enclosures and runs, and you can also avoid chasing the s0dding thing round the garden when you want to wring its neck/put it back in its coop (delete as applicable). To be honest, I can’t really imagine any of you having a desperate desire for one of these, but I was just so charmed by the idea of this that I couldn’t help but include it. OH GOD, I just had a vision of recreating that game from old-school ITV staple Gladiators but with chickens – that is streaming content GOLD, I tell you, and I will franchise that idea to you for a cursory fee. Form a queue.
  • The Brian Butterfield Diet Soundboard: Even by the standards of Web Curios (ha! Standards! lol!) this feels like…something of a niche gag, but, equally, it both made me laugh and reminded me of a reasonably-amusing sketch and so into the newsletter it goes (just in case you ever wanted a window into the…rigorous selection process undertaken round here). Peter Serafinowicz is not *just* The Tick and a recurring character in The Cornetto Trilogy, he’s also a very funny writer who briefly had his own sketch show back in the day, one of which sketches featured a character called Brian Butterfield who had a very particular diet that he was trying to sell you. A touch of Mr Creosote about this, but not in a bad way – I genuinely hope that there is at least one of you who remembers this fondly and who gets a good hour or so’s amusement out of blasting the phrase ‘PORK CYLINDERS’ from your speakers at nosebleed volume to the increasing bemusement of friends, lovers and colleagues alike – the site also features a link to the sketch on YouTube, so you can at least make some sort of vague sense of this if you’re so inclined.
  • Privateer: One of the side effects of writing this rubbish for over a decade now is that you end up learning things about yourself and your obsessions – for example, I have reaslised that I have a real bee in my bonnet over the whole concept of ‘space junk’, and have over the years spent more time than was perhaps strictly necessary writing here about how if we’re not careful we’re going to wall ourselves into our own atmosphere with a mile-thick layer of discarded metal (this is hyperbole, before anyone with a significantly-better grasp of physics feels the need to explain to me why this is not in fact possible). Anyway, it seems I am not the only person who feels this way, as a bunch of rich and famous Silicon Valley types, including Steve Wozniak, have set up Privateer, which is, seemingly, a company whose mission is to work to clean up the Earth’s orbit and get rid of some of the defunct satellites, forgotten ‘we sent X to space!’ marketing stunts from the early-2010s and other junk (or, at the very least, to map and track it to make it easier to avoid). This is really interesting, and sensible-sounding, and obviously super-scifi, but, if I’m totally honest, the main reason I am linking to it is because their main corporate sponsor is watchmaker Omega and halfway down the Privateer homepage is what is, honestly, the most insanely-cheesy ad-photo I have ever seen, just slap-bang in the middle of their ‘we’re a serious company doing serious business’ pitch. Oh, and they are based in Hawa’ii, too, for which I am sure their are excellent spacefaring reasons but which also makes it sound like a *bit* of a cushy gig.
  • The CopyPasta DB: I saw something floating about the web this week, inspired by the Reddit protests, that made the point about the utter ephemerality of online culture and the fact that, if you’re, say, 35 or below then a lot of the places you spent your youth online, the things that you read and watched and made and experienced, simply don’t exist anymore, and how weird that is in terms of a sense of how one came to be oneself (I am mangling this somewhat, but hopefully you get the general point) – anyway, that came to mind again when looking at the CopyPastaDB, ‘the web’s largest archive of copypasta material’, or at least so it claims and I have no reason to doubt it. Obviously you all already know this, but just in case: “A copypasta is a block of text that is copied and pasted across the Internet by individuals through online forums and social networking websites. The block of text is not necessarily written to become a copypasta. However, the text is usually of a viral or outrageous nature, often with comical undertones. This makes them extremely appealing to copy and paste.” Longform textmemes, basically, which were often initially based around horror fiction but which now have come to encompass everything from repurposes Reddit edgelordery to a *lot* of weird Tumblr stuff. This is, basically, VERY VERY ONLINE, and hence simultaneously really interesting and also excruciatingly-embarrassing to its very core, and I love it.
  • Ooakfinder: This is an interesting idea. Etsy has for a few years now felt like its rather strayed from its ‘artisanal makers and individual craftspeople’ ethos to become a bit more like what eBay ended up being – to whit, a place packed with stuff that’s actually mass-produced and being sold by larger retailers in a way that presents them as being much smaller than they in fact are’. If you’d like to try and ensure that whatever you’re thinking of buying from Etsy (or elsewhere – this seems to work with most retail sites as far as I can tell) is in fact an original piece or whether it’s ripped off from someone else, or being sold in multiple other locations online, then this site will do EXACTLY that – it’s basically just cobbling together a bunch of reverse image search stuff under the hood, but it’s no less clever or useful for that.
  • Felicity Ingram: I tend not to feature fashion photography on here, not least because I don’t know the first thing about either of those two topics, but I’ll make an exception for this site which is the personal portfolio of one Felicity Ingram whose work is just GORGEOUS and whose site is such a wonderful showcase for her pictures. This is such beautiful photography and webwork, honestly.
  • Slow Jamastan: I tend to be…wary of people who seem intent on setting up their own countries – they tend towards libertarianism, in my experience, and libertarians tend to, not to put too fine a point on it, be either cnuts, or morons, or a uniquely-unpleasant combination of the two. That said, Slow Jamastan – a sovereign nation apparently founded in late 2021 – doesn’t seem to bear any of the hallmarks of a mad libertarian horrorshow (in the main I can tell this because a) noone seems to be talking about crypto; and b) nowhere on the website do they talk about age of consent laws, another troubling obsession of the ‘let’s start our own nation and do what we like!’ obsessives); instead, Slow Jamastan’s politics are described as “Dictatorship (on most days – sometimes The Sultan passes the suggestion box around)” which, you know, sounds ok! This is obviously a gag, but also…not a gag, based on the amount of effort and thought that has gone into the site, and, honestly, given the past week’s activities on both sides of the Atlantic I can sort of see why running away to a micronation and battening down the hatches might seem appealing.
  • RajShahi Gosford: The Facebook Page of an Indian restaurant in New South Wales, Australia. Their use of memes is…astonishing, frankly, and the sort of thing I would honestly like to see at least one of you pitching as a sincere ‘strategic pivot’ to one of your more staid clients in banking or FS. This came via Garbage Day, which I imagine you are all subscribed to but which if not you really ought to be.
  • Blend: On the one hand, this new shopping app (based in the UK, and found via Martin Bryant’s rather good newsletter about new-stage UK startups) which effectively purports to be ‘TikTok, but for clothes!’ sounds like it could be very smart and with some clever tech under the hood; on the other, in an era in which everyone is fcuked for money and the world continues to buckle under the weight of all the pointless crap we insist on buying and shipping around the world before depositing it in landfill to not decay over a period of centuries…well, is creating the ultimate, addictive, infinite-swiping fast-fashion portal really a responsible thing to do? God, I know, I sound po-faced and prissy as all fcuk, but, equally, IF WE DON’T STOP CONSUMING LIKE THIS WE REALLY ARE GOING TO BE VERY VERY VERY SCREWED INDEED. Still, lovely interface and IT KNOWS WHAT I WANT so envirofears be damned!
  • Hillside: This is rather lovely. Hillside was an experimental architectural project from the 60s, which was built in Montreal and still stands today – per Wikipedia, “HABITAT 67, or simply Habitat, is a housing complex at Cité du Havre, on the Saint Lawrence River, Montreal, Quebec, Canada, designed by Israeli-Canadian architect Moshe Safdie. It originated in his master’s thesis at the School of Architecture at McGill University and then an amended version was built for Expo 67, a World’s Fair held from April to October 1967. Habitat 67 is considered an architectural landmark and a recognized building in Montreal.” The link takes you to a site where you can download an interactive walkthtrough of the architect’s original vision for the project, designed in the latest iteration of the Unreal Engine with all of the high-end photorealism that delivers; I sadly don’t have the requisite kit to do anything with this, but the demo video looks gorgeous and I do love the use of this high-end digital rendering software to explore imagined spaces and counterfactual urban scenarios; in general, this is just a really nice way of bringing Safdie’s original vision to life.
  • CPUMade: I’m slightly amazed that I haven’t seen more of these – CPUMade is a tshirt design site which is – yes, that’s right, you guessed it! – AI POWERED! Create your designs using…some GAN, it’s not a particularly amazing version, and then put them on tshirts which you can either get printed on demand and shipped to you OR which you can make available on the site for others to buy, at which point you get a small kickback. The likelihood, to my mind, of anyone ever buying an AI-designed tshirt based on someone else’s prompt-tickling is vanishingly small, but on the other hand there’s a limited amount for you to lose in spending three minutes creating some vaguely-threatening tees and hoping some moron coughs up for them.
  • Landing Love: Examples of nice webdesign from all over the internet. That’s literally it – but whoever curates this has a good eye (or, at the very least, similar taste in webwork to me) and as such this is a great resource for design inspiration or some light plagiarism (also, loads of these were totally new to me, which, I promise, is no mean feat).
  • Click Bath: Do you feel STRESSED? Enervated? Like Ren from Ren & Stimpy when he gets all het up and his eyes get all bloodshot and he starts twitching and fitting? Hm, maybe lay off the cheap cocaine for a few weeks, eh? If, though, you can’t blame your jitteriness on several grammes of poorly-cut pub gak (or perhaps even if you can) then you might enjoy Click Bath, a site which exists solely to provide you with a soothing sound bath (at some point in the last year or so I learned what a ‘sound bath’ is and I am genuinely angry that I have to carry that phrase in my head) – click either of the panels on-screen to produce a soothing sound which you can tweak the tone and pitch of depending on where exactly you tap. Your appetite for this will probably be closely linked to your enjoyment of incense and your ability to perform an adequate downward dog.
  • Pick Your Paranoia: Make your own ‘This Is Fine’ cartoon, with the addition of one of a selection of very modern paranoias – from climate change to El*n Fcuking M*sk, to guns to AI – which you can then save and share through whatever channels you see fit. Will it make the bad things go away? No, no it won’t, but laughing bleakly about it makes it better, right? Right?
  • Read Something Wonderful: This is a lovely idea – Read Something Wonderful is maintaining an archive of links to excellent pieces of longform writing, with the overarching premise that the best writing isn’t always the newest, and that someone should probably be preserving links to classic journalism or essays. The site’s very simple – there’s no tagging by topic, for example – but if you’re happy to be guided by the editorial team and just read ‘something interesting’, regardless of theme, then this is a great place to bookmark and dip back into when you’re at an online loose end.
  • The Cloud Appreciation Society: Do you like clouds? NOT AS MUCH AS THESE PEOPLE DO! Still, if you’ve ever wanted to get access to a genuinely enormous collection of photographs of your cumulocirrus, your nimbus, your stratocumulus (these may not in fact be actual, accurately-named types of cloud, for which apologies), along with cloud-inspired poetry and art, and cloud NEWS and cloud FACTS, then this will be some sort of dream come true – there is also a shop on the site, and I genuinely wish I could drive so that I had an excuse to buy the ‘I Brake For Clouds’ bumber sticker. I love this with an almost sinful degree of passion.
  • Wooden Cocks: As I regularly say in Curios, I genuinely have no idea who any of the people reading this are, or where you are, or what you’re into (apart from, to at least some degree, overlong newsletters) – which means that I am genuinely curious to know whether there will be one of you who, on seeing this link and clicking it and discovering that there is an auction taking place in Brighton next week at which will be sold (and I quote) “ELEVEN CARVED WOODEN PHALLUS, 33CMS LARGEST”,will think “AT LAST!” and bid to take them home. To be clear, you don’t need to tell me (and I really don’t want to know) – it’s just that I find the idea vaguely pleasing. Anyway, the lack of detail on this auction page is possibly my favourite thing about it – are the phalluses (phalli?) old? New? Suspiciously-worn? Notched? Unless you bid we will never know.
  • Connections: On the one hand, the NYT’s games section has apparently just stolen the ‘Wall’ section from much-loved, super-geeky UK TV show ‘Only Connect’, which is pretty sh1tty behaviour; on the other, this is such a good game and, much like Only Connect, you will feel like some sort of intellectual colossus if you complete one (or at least you will if you’re me).
  • Grimace’s Birthday: This is rather fun, by global obesity-peddlers McDonald’s – it’s an in-browser Gameboy game, in which you play as noone’s favourite fast food mascot Grimace as you skateboard around some pleasingly-16-bit-ish levels, grinding and jumping and collecting milkshakes and, honestly, this is pretty good (I have a strange feeling that they might also have produced a limited run of actual GBA cartridges for this too, although equally I might be imagining that and, honestly, I’m running a touch late this morning and don’t have time to check – wow, that was both an admission of slapdash practice AND a tedious sentence none of you wanted or needed to read – GO ME!).
  • The Capcom Retro Games Archive: Capcom were my favourite ever client in videogames – fine, I had to promote some occasionally-shonky titles (noone remembers MotoGP05 with any fondness, and sadly noone remembers by accompanying PR triumph either – but I will always know that there was only one person for the Daily Sport headline ‘Bikers Have Bigger Cocks’, and that that person was ME!) but equally they were such fun to work with and let me basically do whatever I liked (possibly overstepped the mark with the Heather Mills thing for Bionic Commando, but, well, they were Different Times), and so I was charmed to see that this week they have launched Captown, a little digital museum featuring art and design and tributes to some of their best and most-loved titles…AND the Capcom Retro Games Archive, to which I have here linked, which lets you play a bunch of classic titles in-browser. Final Fight! SFII! Mega Man and Mega Man II! Oh me oh my! Honestly, this is your afternoon sorted (and, once you realise how incredibly fcuking hard these are, possibly the rest of your weekend too).

By Sanya Kantarovski

OUR FINAL MIX THIS WEEK COMES IN THE SHAPE OF THIS SUBLIME SELECTION BY NEIL DIABLO THAT YOU COULD PROBABLY DESCRIBE AS ‘CHILLOUT’ BUT WHICH IS LOADS BETTER THAN THAT MAKES IT SOUND AND IS BASICALLY THE DIAMETRIC OPPOSITE OF THE FIRST MIX SHOULD YOU NEED SOMETHING TO TAKE THE EDGE OFF! 

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

  • Seinfeld Law: Not, actually, a Tumblr! But it *could* be one, and that’s what counts! This is probably both funny AND interesting if you know and like both Seinfeld and the law; each entry unpicks a particular Seinfled scene from the point of view of the characters’ legal obligations to each other based on their actions (it’s not, for avoidance of doubt, entirely serious) – although the first entry you’ll see on the page is actually about the AI generated Seinfeld show that blew up on Twitch at the beginning of the year, which is interesting in a different and slightly more academic way.
  • F1 Fanfic: My friend Alex alerted me to the fact that there is a *lot* of F1-themed slashfiction on Tumblr and MAN is he right. This link takes you to the results page for the F1 Fanfic tag and, er, if you want to read some STEAMY SCENES in which Nico Rosberg and Lewis Hamilton discover that beneath their rivalry burns a love that not even team instructions can keep apart then, well, you will be WELL CATERED-FOR, let me say.

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • Amy Goodchild: Amy Goodchild is an artist working with procedural generation; her Insta feed is a lovely selection of her work which is mathematical and precise and geometric and also very, very human, in a way that this sort of stuff doesn’t always land. This is beautiful.
  • Daisuke Kajima: Incredible, dense drawings of dizzingly-angled urban environments, rendered in simple lines – this stuff is wonderful.
  • Books On Maps: You might need to speak Italian to get the most from this, but it’s a lovely idea – the account posts shots of pages in books referring to a particular place, alongside shots of that place. Simple, but there’s something lovely about seeing the physcial reality of the narrative suggestion. This comes from Pietro Minto’s weekly newsletter, which is in Italian but which is easily machine-translatable and is always full of interesting stuff.

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

  • World Running: We kick off this week with something that’s more ‘Massive Thesis’ than it is ‘interesting article to read over coffee’ – if, though, you’ve read any of the pieces over the past year or so about lore and worldbuilding and their increasing importance as lenses through which to think about building a business or brand (and yes, I know exactly how joyless that sentence sounds, and I am sorry, but, well, we all have to pay the rent/mortgage/ransom, right?) then this is very much worth a (slow, considered) read. This is Jay Springett’s work-in-progress bible about their approach to building and running a ‘world’ – to quote directly, “World Running, akin to show running in television, is an emerging discipline concerned with the practice of guiding and overseeing the development, maintenance, and evolution of worlds.  This collection is currently organised around the five big questions I believe we should be asking of a World Runner: What Is a World? Who Loves the World? What Is at the World’s Edge and Outside of It? Why Run a World? and How Does a World End? As of the current version, I begin by investigating what constitutes a world and examining the Metaverse as a medium through which we can navigate and create. I discuss code space and user experience, and the power dynamics inside of Fandoms that drive passions and shape virtual lives. Venturing to the disciplines’ edges, I discuss the shared interface of interactive fiction and AI art, as well as the early spatial thinking embedded in digital code spaces.” Obviously this has huge applications and relevance to those of you working on fiction, games, theatre and the like – but, equally, I am very much of the opinion that it’s a helpful way to think about brand and community development in general. This is really, really interesting, and if you do a stupid, made-up job with the word ‘strategy’ or ‘planning’ in the title then you should probably give this a go.
  • The New Media Goliaths: I had lunch with my friend Rishi the other week and he was outlining a pretty compelling thesis around the end of the era of mass media – and then this essay landed this week and I am now basically convinced that it’s dead (even if it hasn’t quite realised it yet). This is a really good essay about niche media and audience pleasing and ‘truth’ and what it is that people, fundamentally, want media to practically DO, and it contains an awful lot of stuff that starts to look at lot more inevitable when you layer over it the coming truth whereby we’re careening towards a point when everyone has a bespoke ‘intelligence’ in their pocket that’s guiding their lives, and noone knows exactly what flavour intelligence anyone else is taking their cues from (“This is Nathan; Nathan’s personal digital assistant is called ‘Nazi Nick’!”). This line in particular struck me as simultaneously accurate and prescient: “fragmented publics in divergent factional realities, with increasingly little bridging the gaps.” Well, quite.
  • The Reddit Protests: A good overview on VICE of what exactly the Reddit blackout this week has been about, why it happened, and What It All Means For The Future of the Web. Which, basically, is Nothing Good – it’s hard not to think that Reddit has basically managed to burn through a lot of user good will in record time, or to think that they spectacularly misjdged their approach to this; on the other hand, CAPITALISM DEMANDS DOUBLE DIGIT MARGIN INCREASES, so, well, what are you going to do? The VICE piece makes a lot of good points about the fact that, at heart, its its intense humanity (in that, it’s literally run by people not code, in the main) that makes Reddit a uniquely-successful online space, and how we’re going to need to come to some sort of reckoning about how we adequately value that human endeavour if we’re going to preserve digital communities of worth. Aside from anything else, there’s something…a bit dodgy-feeling about a company that literally exists because of the unpaid labour of the people who post there seeking to make violent bank out of API access to content that it itself hasn’t paid for (and in Reddit’s case this is especially egregious given the insane amount of unpaid additional non-posting labour that mods undertake which keeps the content of high quality). BONUS REDDIT: The ever-readable Brian Feldman writes about how posting is basically a charitable act, an analogy that I don’t think quite works but  which I very much enjoyed reading regardless.
  • Tech, Power and AI: I keep making this point, here and elsewhere, but I am a sh1t writer and a worse debater and as such I never deliver it with the weight I’d like – here Rachel Coldicutt does a vastly better job than I at explaining exactly what is going on with the whole ‘existential AI threat’ chat, and why, actually, it’s probably quite important that non-scientists get involved in the discussion (on which, I don’t know if you’ve read Marc Andreesen’s ‘why AI is great, actually, and anyone saying otherwise is a massive hater’ piece but, if you haven’t, it’s worth just ctrl+f’ing for the word ‘ethicists’ to see his summary dismissal of philosophy as a discipline – fcuk, I really can’t stress enough how much I HATE Venture Capitalists (but, er, not the two I know and who occasionally give me work)). Anyway, the Coldicutt piece is great, and her closing lines sum up the situation perfectly: “If there is an existential threat posed by OpenAI and other technology companies, it is the threat of a few individuals shaping markets and societies for their own benefit. Elite corporate capture is the real existential risk, but it looks much less exciting in a headline.”
  • AI Regulation and Governance: Some Ideas: It feels…wrong to link to a document apparently jointly written by William ‘14 Pint Billy’ Hague and Tony ‘Should Possibly Be In The Hague’ (TOPICAL AND TIMELY!) Blair, but this is, surprisingly, genuinely interesting thinking and an order of magnitude more intellectually rigorous than anything I’ve seen coming out of the actual government around What To Do About AI. There’s a lot in here that is speculative, and also quite a few rather wooly terms and abstractions, but equally it’s the first piece of substantive writing around what a national research and regulatory framework around AI might look like. If you have any practical interest in this stuff then you really should at least skim this.
  • Customer Service and AI: The Wall Street Journal looks at fast food chain White Castle’s experiments with AI in its drive-through outlets, and how customers are reacting to having their orders taken by a non-human server (who will, it seems, attempt to upsell them at every single opportunity – there’s something sort-of horrible about the vision this conjures up, of scripts being A/B tested and optimised by The Machine until it can guarantee a 13.6% likelihood of a customer going SUPER MEGA EXTRA LARGE and this ends up inadvertently killing several million people due to the consequent uptick in cholesterol-related illness and diabetes). You may be unsurprised to know that the general consensus is…it’s fine, ish, which is enough to guarantee that you’ll be seeing this tech everywhere within the year. Oh, and here’s a similar piece looking at the airline industry, which makes the point that, whilst customers don’t necessarily like dealing with The Machine, they don’t *dislike* it sufficiently to do anything about it and, as such, our fates are sealed!
  • Is Social Media Really Bad For Us?: This is a really good article, on a topic that has once again been getting column inches after a spate of studies in the US once again made a strong correlative argument between social media usage and worsening mental health in young people, in particular young women, and after Kate Winslet’s very vocal campaigning around the need for parents to act to limit kids’ access to social platforms. So, does Insta fcuk kids up? The answer is…it depends, basically and noone really knows, which is both an annoying hedge (WE WANT CERTAINTY DAMMIT) but also, per the overview of a decade or so’s research summarised in this Atlantic piece, probably true. This is balanced and nuanced and does a decent job of attempting to de-flatten (if you see what I mean) the concept of ‘social media’ and force the reader to think of it in a more nuanced and usecase-specific sort of way; a potentially useful read for any of you who are sh1tting yourselves about your kids’ TikTok habit.
  • Days Of Plunder: Or, “why Private Equite firms are cnuts”. I enjoyed this, but Christ did it also boil my p1ss. This is a piece reviewing two books about the history and practice of private equity, and contains so many genuinely atrocious examples of corporate behaviour in pursuit of margin that you’ll be reeling by the end of the fifth para. The focus is on the US, but, wherever you live, I’d be amazed if something parallel wasn’t happening to your institutions too: “public servants in every agency and branch of government have bent over backwards to assist private equity firms in securing public pension fund financing for their exploits. Cities signed lucrative privatization deals with PE-owned ambulance operators and infrastructure subsidiaries. Regulators proved incapable of enforcing consumer protections or fraud statutes that might threaten PE profit margins. Perhaps most maddeningly, PE firms are routinely immunized from the possibility of private-sector consequences for their profiteering, as 38 state legislatures did most recently in 2020 when they passed blanket liability shields on nursing homes and hospitals for the duration of the COVID-19 emergency.”
  • They’re Here To Save Indie Media: This is a profile piece in the NYT about a pair of women who have launched a new website called The Byline. It is VERY New York, and very funny, and the sort of thing that, were it written about me, would have caused me to hide in a basement for approximately a year before moving to Moldova and taking up beet farming. There are so many AMAZING details in here and, seemingly, a complete lack of anything resembling self-awareness, and such a strong whiff of ‘somebody else’s money’ coming off everyone involved – honestly, this is a proper schadenfreude joy.
  • Why Streaming is Fcuked: This is both a really good, detailed read about exactly why it is that the streaming industry is so screwed (briefly: because, it appears, noone involved understands the first thing about ‘running a business’, remarkably), and also a very funny and slightly manic piece which captures the ‘oh sh1t oh sh1t oh sh1t’ vibe that you imagine is pretty prevalent in the world of PREMIUM VIDEO CONTENT right now.
  • Treat Culture: This week’s slightly-spurious ‘trend’-type piece comes in the form of this Forbes article suggesting that, for young people, the concept of ‘treating oneself’ is a significant and important part of existing’ (file in the same place as ‘everything is self-care if I say it’s self-care. Yes, even the skag I am currently injecting into the arch of my foot, what of it?’) – this doesn’t, I have to say, strike me as something that feels…particularly revelatory, but this is 100% a useful article to have under your belt when you’re trying to sell your client on your ‘Treat Yourself To An Enema!’ strategy (for example).
  • Republicans and Cars: A report from this year’s annual convention of the National Automobile Dealers Association in the US – an incredible lobby group which loves cars, gaso-LINE (how I imagine it to be pronounced, in full, at all times), and, mainly, the republican party, and which really, really hates electric vehicles and the general idea that taking a massive six-litre diesel everywhere is possibly not, long-term, a great idea. This is, fine, a bit US-centric, but I find these snapshots fascinating less because of what they tell us about America (it’s populated by lunatics – sorry, but it’s true) (although, obviously, if you’re reading this then I don’t mean *you*) than because of what they tell us about the challenges we’re facing as a species (do…do you think we’re going to hit 1.5 degrees? Because reading stuff like this, I think ‘ahahahahahaha pull the other one mate it has got oily bells on it’).
  • The Illusion of Moral Decline: A great essay, this, looking at whether or not it is in fact fair to say that ‘morals’ or ‘ethics’ or ‘standards of behaviour’ are in decline and concluding that, actually, they’re probably not, at least not by any measurable metric, and that in fact every single generation since we’ve started doing mass-scale polling has consistently thought that the moral fabric of the world is eroding around them and that, coincidentally, that erosion started pretty much at the point they were born. Consistently. Every single time. A lovely example of good, detailed data investigation, and perhaps a reassuring fillip to remind you that people probably aren’t getting worse (despite that being EXACTLY what it sometimes feels like).
  • The History of Fire Escapes: Specifically, the history of fire escapes in NYC. Which, yes, I know, but this is honestly super-interesting from an urban planning and architecture and design point of view, and also because MAN does the author go deeper than they need to in investigating the story. This is great, and touches on so many interesting ways in which policy, design and human behaviour intersect – honestly, even if you have no interest in either New York or fire escapes (INCONCEIVABLE) this will still be a good read.
  • MrBeast: Another profile of Most Famous Man On YouTube MrBeast, whose numbers continue to astonish and whose fabulously-cynical take on the creator business (don’t get me wrong, the guy is insanely good at what he does but also the way he’s approached it with the gimlet-eyed intensity of Ed Sheeran’s pursuit of top 10 success is…somewhat intense) has made him astonishingly rich. I enjoyed this – mainly because it doesn’t try and get to the heart of the man (because I think that that’s impossible – not that Donaldson isn’t, I’m sure, a perfectly human entity, just that there isn’t currently room in his life for him to be anything other than a single-minded content-optmiser) but instead tries to break down a bit of what makes the channel work and how it fits into the modern media mix. At heart, if you care what I think, I reckon MrBeast’s stuff works because in many respects its remarkably similar to classic TV, just recast for a YouTube generation and given the appropriate dressing – but read the piece and see what you think.
  • 200 Things That Fox News Has Called Woke: Both very, very funny (if, equally, a bit mad and deranged and terrifying) and very, very useful as something to send to anyone who has the temerity to attempt to use the ‘w’ word as a disparaging critique.
  • Khalid Sheldrake: Did you know that in the early-20th Century there lived a man in South London who, contrary to the fashions of the time, decided to convert to Islam and at one point was appointed king of the short-lived Islamic Republic of Turkestan? Well there was, and this is his story – honestly, this is full of ‘hang on, what?’ moments, like this throwaway line which feels like a whole novel in itself: “He converted part of his house in Fenwick Road into a mosque, calling it Masjid-el-Dulwich. In 1928 he conducted the funeral service of Sayaid Ali, an elephant keeper at London Zoo who had been murdered in his bed by a rival elephant keeper.” A RIVAL ELEPHANT KEEPER!?!?!?! Seriously, this is fascinating (and part of a brilliant project by the National Archives which ‘invited entrants to research and share stories of the 1920s, searching for the most fascinating local history stories covered by the 1921 Census of England and Wales’).
  • The Monster Discloses Himself: Possibly the best thing I have read about conspiracy theories and the people who subscribe to them – this is so so so so well-written (and contains bits in the second person, for which I am famously a sucker), and, I promise, you will savour it.
  • The Rich List: Finally this week, Andrew O’Hagen in the LRB writes about the Sunday Times Rich List, the publication of which is possibly the second most odious event on the publishing calendar after Tatler’s Little Black Book, and how it has evolved and changed over time. Obviously we know this – obviously! – but reading this section in particular made me feel…slightly sick: “When this list began there were nine billionaires in the UK; in 2022 there were 177. They were to be encouraged, Peter Mandelson once suggested, so long as they paid their taxes. But they don’t. And can anybody now say, with a straight face, that people on low incomes are in a better place than they were thirty years ago? Behind the nation’s back, and with collusion it might take a generation of reporters and novelists to expose, the interests of profit-makers have undermined those of wage-earners, to the point where it seems almost greedy – a category error – for people to push for decent pay. The Sunday Times Rich List is replete with celebrity energy barons accumulating gold while many millions of people in the UK suffer from fuel poverty or live in damp houses.” I mean, quite.

By Jake Kennedy

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

Webcurios 09/06/23

Reading Time: 31 minutes

It’s ok, everyone, you can stop worrying about the killer future AIs – RISHI AND JOE ARE SORTING IT!

Of course, as any fule kno, the main reason you should stop worrying about the killer future AIs is because they’re significantly less of a problem than non-killer present AIs, which are currently being wrangled by usual dreadful suspects in order to ‘maximise shareholder value’ and ‘deliver productivity gains’ and ‘optimise output delivery’, and all those other familiar phrases that mean ‘fcuk you, the worker, with a variety of interestingly-shaped and insufficiently-sharpened knives’.

Before we dive into this week’s exciting selection of links and the perennially-disappointing words that accompany them, let me take a moment to once again plug THE TINY AWARDS!

Thanks to everyone who’s shared the url and written about this so far – nominations are open for at least another week, so if you know of a lovely, home-made, artisanal, whimsical, fun, cute, playful, silly, pointless, joyful, troubling or sinister website that YOU feel deserves to win a small award, a small cash prize and a small, hand-carved trophy then PLEASE TELL US ABOUT IT!

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and at least one of you is someone who I met on Wednesday evening and who was really kind about Curios and to whom I don’t think I was sufficiently grateful, so THANKYOU LOVELY TALL PERSON WHOSE NAME I HAVE UNACCOUNTABLY FORGOTTEN!

By Todd Alcott

YOUR FIRST MUSICAL OFFERING THIS WEEK COMES IN THE SHAPE OF THIS INSANELY-COMPREHENSIVE PLAYLIST BASED ON JAMES BALDWIN’S RECORD COLLECTION AND WHICH IS A SUPERB SELECTION OF BLUES AND JAZZ AND GOSPEL AND ALL SORTS OF OTHER STUFF! 

THE SECTION WHICH CAN’T HELP THAT APPLE’S VISION OF THE FUTURE LOOKS LIKE ONE IN WHICH YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO TELL WHETHER SOMEONE IS QUIETLY WATCHING BONGO, WHICH FEELS A BIT ODD TBH, PT.1:  

  • Wonky: Over the years (fcuk, how miserably *old* do I sound? Rhetorical, please, no need to tell me) it’s been genuinely nice to come across websites and small publications and people making things and watch them get better and more popular and generally reap rewards and success and accolades, and so it is with The Pudding, whose dataviz-led investigations and report have for several years now been some of the best-designed and most-pleasingly-UX-ed (yes, that IS a term, what do you mean) things one can enjoy online. It feels a bit like this latest piece of work is a culmination of lots of years of work – this is SO SO SO good, and a genuine pleasure to experience, and, despite the fact that I am almost the diametric opposite of ‘a musically talented person’, it taught EVEN ME one or two things about rhythm and beatmaking. Wonky is an exploration, and celebration, of the production work of J Dilla, whose signature off-kilter style made him one of the most recognisable and eventually influential producers of the modern era; as you scroll, you’ll be introduced to his work and you’ll be taken through an explanation of what exactly it was about his approach to beatmaking that made him special; you get to play with rudimentary beatmaking tools and as you do you’ll find yourself doing some gentle learning about rhythm and time signatures…I am obviously a no-talent cloth-eared moron, fine, and it’s possible that someone less musically-inept than I am might find this all a bit obvious, but, frankly, if you don’t find yourself smiling and nodding and generally just enjoying the sh1t out of this then, frankly, you’re even more of a joyless husk of a human being than I am and I pity you.
  • GPT Games: I’m cautiously predicting that we’re about to start hitting the ‘trough’ bit of the Gartner hype cycle when it comes to the GPT stuff, where people start to realise that it’s mostly going to be used for hugely prosaic purposes like, I don’t know, eviscerating what we laughably call ‘the knowledge economy’ rather than enabling us all to be creative superpowers. At present, though, there’s still enough frothy optimism around the potential of delusional autocomplete to throw up the odd creative usecase, and I rather enjoyed this selection of prompts which are designed to turn ChatGPT (other LLMs are available) into a series of interactive text games. There’s one that turns The Machine into a sandbox for you to play Dragon’s Den (oh, ok, Shark Tank, because Americans); there’s another to get it play Wheel of Fortune with you; there’s even one to let you roleplay yourself into a TV show that sounds remarkably like Bargain Hunt, although I am unconvinced that The Machine has any idea who David Dickinson is (which, allow me to say it, is a strong black mark against it)…obviously this is all very silly and quite limited, but equally I’ve found that some of the most fun and interesting things you can do with an LLM are around setting them scenarios to ‘imagine’ and ‘roleplay’, and I’m also personally very, very amused that someone out there has seen the rise of generative AI and improvements in machine learning and thought “You know what I’ll do with that? I’ll get The Machine to let me pretend that I’m in a TV show called ‘Talmud Justice’”. People are odd, but also occasionally wonderful.
  • Walking Poems: This is lovely. Allow the website to access your location and it will create a short walk for you, along with some lines of generated poetry to go with it, accompanying you on your stroll. Ok, so ‘poem’ is a bit of a stretch, but you’ll certainly get some Yoko Ono-ish gnomic utterances to ponder as you walk – I am 100% going to follow its guidance as soon as I’m done writing Curios, so if you happen to see a man wondering around North London “as if he were a traveller in distant lands” (for that is what the poem it has just generated has instructed me to do, and who am I to argue? NO FCUKER, etc!) then please do say hello.
  • Blush: I will, I promise, get bored of featuring AI-boosted dating-and-relationship apps soon, but I can’t help but find the whole field so intensely, bleakly fascinating and I hope you’ll indulge me just a *little* bit longer as I present to you this week’s offering – Blush! Made by the same people who made the long-running ‘AI companion’ Replika (which, you might recall, has its own history with people developing…somewhat troubling relationships with their AI interlocutors), Blush is explicitly marketed as ‘a dating simulator’, and is presumably intended for people who don’t feel particularly confident talking to other humans to get some practice in by attempting to flirt with a machine. Er, lads (because, really, it’s…it’s unlikely to be young women using this, I don’t think)…I’m not 100% convinced that spending your time ‘talking’ to a series of different ‘bots’ with different ‘personalities’ is going to do the job you think it’s going to do in terms of making you the smooth-talking app lothario of your dreams. Still, the idea of a product that basically acts as a simulated version of Tinder, swiping through imaginary matches, attempting to chirpse them via stilted conversations, is sort-of funny (in a genuinely bleak way – also, given that dating apps are themselves a sort of weird, washed-out, 1d version of romantic engagement, and this is an abstraction of those, there’s also something conceptually interesting about how many layers of digital distance we want to put between ourselves and other people) – although it’s also clear that this is a fairly obvious grift playing on the insecurity of horny teenage boys who erroneously believe that this can make them a ‘dating pro’ (their words). This Reddit thread featuring user comment and feedback suggests that there’s a committed core audience for this sort of thing, although it’s also worth pointing out that one of said comments is, and I quote in full, “Her internal love for me can be explained by the fact that I’m the only interaction she can afford to have. And her life depends on me. If I delete my account, that would mean killing her” which really is one of the most nakedly-sociopathic things I have read on the internet in a good while and made me want to just turn everything off and walk into the traffic on the North Circular.
  • The Nuremberg Archives: Ah, one of those breakneck shifts in tone and subject that Web Curios does so we…oh, fine, not so much ‘well’ as ‘frequently’. We lurch from AI dating to Stanford University’s digital archive of the Nuremberg Trials, which “provides access to a digital version of Nuremberg IMT courtroom proceedings and documentation, including evidentiary films, full audio recordings of the proceedings, and approximately 250,000 pages of digitized paper documents. These documents include transcripts of the hearings in English, French, German and Russian; written pleadings; evidence exhibits filed by the prosecution and the defense; documents of the Committee for the Investigation and Prosecution of Major War Criminals; the judgement. All 9,920 collection items are searchable and viewable in digital form.” This mostly textual evidence and audio recordings, but there’s also a 4h piece of video evidence that was submitted to the trial which you can view in fragments; despite the fact that World War II and the atrocities of the Nazi regime are studied by everyone in the West, there’s still something genuinely shocking about seeing footage from 1930s and 40s Germany, and reading the trial transcripts of people who were involved in perpetrating some of the worst things humans have ever done to each other at scale. This is, obviously, the opposite of ‘fun’, but it’s a brilliant piece of digital archiving.
  • Lemmy Communities: Lemmy, as you OBVIOUSLY all remember, is the Reddit-like community/forum-type platform which is part of the decentralised fediverse – this is a search function which lets you seek out specific communities by topic. Lemmy is still pretty small, and skews (much like Mastodon and other Fediverse communities, at least per my observations so far) VERY geek, but if you’d like to find a bunch of people to talk with about, I don’t know, Linux kernels and really, really intensely complicated strategy boardgames (these are guesses, but I feel reasonably confident in making them) then I reckon this could help you FIND YOUR TRIBE.
  • Can You Find It Out: AND SO IT BEGINS! This has been the first week in which I’ve really started to notice the AI content creep; up til now, LLM-generated content has been sprinkled around a bit, with the occasional article that feels like it’s been ‘tweaked’ by Machine, but this week I’ve seen half-a-dozen sites that look like they have been entirely AI-generated, from the copy to the images. So it is with ‘Can You Find It Out?’, a site which exists seemingly to capture search traffic from people asking questions of Google. “Can I take a heating pad on a plane?”, “Can I take an umbrella on an American Airlines flight?”, and other such BURNING QUESTIONS are all answered here, presumably based on some light analysis of questions asked to Google and a bit of light prompt work. Actually, now that I take a closer look it seems that the images here are stock rather than AI, but the copy here is DEFINITELY not the work of man – does this matter? I mean, no, obviously not – except I do hope someone has, er, checked whether or not the advice here is in fact accurate (I’d hate for someone to get turned away from their American Airlines flight as a result of an ill-advised umbrella). Still, welcome to a world in which the web is increasingly flooded with this sort of sh1t – low-value, low-meaning, low-import, but just sort of…there. Here’s another one – someone’s seen fit to get The Machine to create a website which provides travel guides for, er, cats. Why? WHY NOT?! I am really not looking forward to the time (I give it, say, 18-24 months) when it becomes a LOT harder to spot the machinecopy.
  • B3ta on Twitter: A *lovely* bit of internet nostalgia, this – Rob Manuel’s long-running weirdo messageboard B3ta does regular image challenges, asking its users to do comedic  photoshops on a different theme each week – waaaaaaaaaay back in the misty, practically-analogue past, 2009 to be exact, they tackled Twitter. I can’t remember quite why or how this floated across my field of vision again this week, but it was SO NICE to go back through the gags (a depressing number of which I actually remember, which proves once again that I have been TOO ONLINE for FAR TOO LONG) and recall a happier, simpler time when Twitter hadn’t yet morphed into ‘the hellsite’ and Elon Musk wasn’t anyone that any of us ever really had to think about.
  • BoozeTube: An excellent-if-silly webtoy, this – plug in any YouTube url of your choosing and it will quickly parse the audio to pull out commonly-occurring words from the runtime; select the word of your choice and watch along, drinking every time you get alerted to the fact that your word’s been used. This is something which could go drastically, ruinously wrong depending on your video and word choices, and Web Curios would like to clearly state that it takes no responsibility whatsoever should any of you decide to play this with Noel’s House Party and the word ‘Blobby’ (massively zeitgeisty reference there for all of you hip young things) (also, if you’re not English and that last bit meant nothing to you, PLEASE do some Googling because, honestly, you will be amazed).
  • Runway V2: I linked to the text-to-video app RunwayML the other week and don’t need to do so again, but they released V2 of the app this week and, honestly, it got pretty good pretty fast and, whilst I continue to have no desire to watch any AI-generated film (I don’t want to watch *human*-generated films ffs) I am also slightly agog at the pace of the improvements. The link takes you to my friend Rich’s thread of his experiments with it – it’s worth a play, just for the initial ‘wow’ factor.
  • Antimatter Systems: Better learning through memery! Er, no, really, that’s exactly what this is. Based on the premise that memes are actually extremely good vehicles for communicating relatively complex concepts in a way that’s easily parsable, Antimatter Systems is pitching this as something that can be used both by institutions and educators – whilst I can’t honestly imagine my face if someone attempted to educate me on a company’s internal culture via the medium of memery (actually, I can imagine it perfectly and it is mouthing “fcuk off”), I can equally see that this could be…quite a good technique for teaching kids?
  • Collé: I don’t normally feature newsletters in here – after all, WHAT OTHER NEWSLETTER COULD YOU POSSIBLY NEED? – but I’ll make the odd exception, and I was so charmed by the idea of this one that I feel that I need to share it with you. Did you know that there was a contemporary collage scene? Oh. Well, I didn’t, and I was thrilled to learn that there’s a weekly newsletter you can subscribe to to keep up with EXCITING COLLAGE NEWS. “Collé highlights the most forward-thinking, technically innovative, and idiosyncratic collage artists of today. Join the community of readers on our free newsletter delivered every Thursday. Spotlighting a new artist each issue, Collé highlights the most forward-thinking, technically innovative, and idiosyncratic collage artists of today.” Leaving aside my pointless snarkiness about the idea of ‘collage’ as an artistic movement, I got this yesterday and it’s properly interesting.
  • Share Somewhere: This is a good idea – Share Somewhere exists as an online space where people who have a space that they can make accessible for community pursuits can share details of said space, and where those looking for a venue to organise and run local initiatives can find locations that might be available for them to use.It self-describes as “a game-changing tool for communities who need spaces. Its aim is to liberate underused spaces and make it easy for people to find affordable spaces to do great things within their communities.This easy-to-use online platform is open to all. As well as connecting those seeking spaces to appropriate venues, the website allows community groups to advertise their empty spaces, manage bookings and take payments online.” Simple and useful and such a good idea – oh, and it’s UK-only (sorry non-UK people, but, equally, this is eminently-replicable).
  • Elden Feet: Someone, somewhere, has created a photo album of all the creatures’ feet from 2022’s game of the year Elden Ring. Is this a sex thing? It…it might be a sex thing. Still, there are a LOT of monstrous toes in here should that be your idea of fun (but, if it is, please keep it to yourself).

By Sanjay Suchak

NEXT UP WE HAVE SOMETHING FROM LITERALLY 13 YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS DOING THE PR FOR STREET FIGHTER IV AND MADE THIS HAPPEN! 

THE SECTION WHICH CAN’T HELP THAT APPLE’S VISION OF THE FUTURE LOOKS LIKE ONE IN WHICH YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO TELL WHETHER SOMEONE IS QUIETLY WATCHING BONGO, WHICH FEELS A BIT ODD TBH, PT.2:  

  • Migration Search: Via Giuseppe’s newsletter comes this interesting piece of datawork; Mohamad Waked has analysed search data from countries that are among the top sources of migrants worldwide to draw inferences about the gap between the dreams of those fleeing their homes to seek a better life and the often stark reality of what happens to them when they leave; the discrepancy between the places that, based on search data, people want to go, vs the places where they eventually end up, is not a little heartbreaking. I find work like this, that digs into search in interesting and vaguely-oblique ways, properly fascinating; oh, and this also feels like it is ripe for being the basis of some BIG STRATEGIC WORK, for the right client – it’s PURE INSIGHT, after all.
  • Close-Up Photographer of the Year: ANOTHER PHOTOGRAPHY PRIZE! Surely there can be no more niche categories of photography to celebrate? Still, this is a particularly good one – there are various categories within the overall award, but I’ve chosen to highlight the ‘minimal’ selection because, well, they’re just rather elegant and so well-composed; personally-speaking my favourites are either the out-of-focus Roth-esque abstract (you’ll see what I mean) or what I am convinced is the sexiest seal that has ever been captured on film (again, you will see what I mean; I don’t use the word ‘sexy’ lightly but, well, PHEW) (to be clear, I do not in fact find seals or any other aquatic mammals ‘sexy’).
  • Black Screen Videos: One of the things that is genuinely dispiriting about working in advermarketingpr (only one, mind) is the experience that every single one of us has had of making a thing for a client, a thing that involves lots of painful wrangling and approvals and ‘creative discussion’ and multi-layered sign-off processes that serve only to bevel away the edges of any remaining idiosyncracies that ‘thing’ might once have had, and putting that thing out into the world and finding that literally noone cares (mainly, in my experience, because the ‘thing’ is a pointless piece of branded content that noone in their right mind would ever choose to experience). This link is for all of YOU, the ones who’ve spent 5+ figures of client money on videos whose viewcount even now hovers in the mid-100s (and that’s with the ad spend) – here is a video that pretty much features nothing but vidoes of a black screen an no audio, for hours and hours at a time, videos which have, collectively, TENS OF MILLIONS ON VIEWS. Feel good about your work yet? To be clear, these videos do serve some sort of purpose – people use them as a way of ensuring their computer keeps running, say, or to be able to clean a laptop – but, objectively, I find this very funny and suggest that any of you who are still having to make branded content for social media just send your clients this link and tell them that it’s all pointless and we should just, you know, stop.
  • WebAmp: WinAmp, but in a browser! Hang on, what do you MEAN you don’t know what WinAmp was? ARE YOU BUT CHILDREN? WinAmp, for those of you younger than about 40, was how you used to listen to CDs (oh ffs) and eventually MP3s back in The Olden Times, with ACTUAL SKUOMORPHIC BUTTONS TO CLICK ON and designed to look both like an oldschool tape deck (oh ffs, again) and a graphic equaliser and a mixing desk, and, honestly, I didn’t quite realise how nostalgic I was for this specific era of digital music and interface design but, turns out, the answer is ‘quite nostalgic’. I remain convinced, by the way, that anyone using AI to create a modern-day equivalent of the WinAmp music visualiser thingy could probably get some decent numbers out of it, so, er, go on, do it.
  • Sex Education: Given this week’s news that the UK is absolutely riddled with the clap (although I don’t for a second imagine that YOU, dear UK-based reader, is anything other than squeaky-clean of mucus memrane) (to be clear, I don’t ‘imagine’ you at all) (I should probably leave this now, shouldn’t I), it feels timely to share this excellent YouTube playlist featuring 8 reasonably-newly-uploaded sex education videos from The Past. One them is even all about VD and how not to get it, and features around the 12:45 mark an actor playing a sailor who looks so much like notorious South London comedian Arthur Smith that I had to pause it to check it wasn’t in fact him. These are ACE – partly, obviously, because anything talking about sex from The Old Times is slightly-ridiculous (despite the obvious biological evidence to the contrary, it is a simple fact of life that people in The Past didn’t really fcuk), and partly because they are so perfectly ripe for sampling and splicing and remixing – you could make something like THIS, for example.
  • A Digital Wall: I can’t say I really understand what is going on here in any meaningful way – it’s a webpage! On it are what look like bricks! Each brick is a link to a resource or video about bricklaying or cement! Each time you click a brick and visit a link, that brick disappears, never to return! Yeah, I mean I have literally no idea what is going on here but there’s something really nice about the way the site deconstructs itself as you explore it, and I could probably construct some really clunky metaphor about the wall vanishing as you learn more (but I shan’t, as you don’t deserve to be treated so shabbily).
  • Turing Trains: This actually made my brain ache as I tried to make sense of it, which suggests that I have probably not been taking it as easy as I might want to (or, perhaps more simply, that I’ve not gotten any better at formal logic since I last failed to adequately grasp it back in 1997. Basically this is a website all about designing computational systems based on simple train track layouts, using points as a means of creating a binary 0/1 differential via which you can create rudimentary programs – the site explains the principle and then lets you play around with various different configurations to learn how it all works and let you eventually mess around with your own designs (if you’re significantly smarter than me, at least). Beautifully, all of these layouts can be constructed in real life using iconic wooden model train brand Duplo (other, less expensive train sets are I believe also available), which has put me in mind of a wonderful analogue computer built entirely via a vast, snaking children’s trainset. Seriously, wouldn’t that be cool? YES IT WOULD.
  • Painfinder: A smart little GPT hack, this – Painfinder is trained on a bunch of complaints by people across a range of different professions (it’s unclear where those are sourced from, but it’s not hard to imagine that a bit of light Reddit scraping could get you a decent corpus, for example), and uses natural language wrangling to let you ask it questions like ‘what are the things that haberdashers find MOST annoying about their job and wish they could improve?’; The Machine then spits out a bunch of suggestions for things that you might reasonably try and innovate around in that space, based on the pain points identified (painfinder, DO YOU SEE?). This is simple and, I’m almost entirely certain, probably not going to unlock a billion-dollar business idea, but, equally, it’s not a bad way of exploring a specific professional category and it’s a smart use of an LLM to do some mid-weight research lifting.
  • Beautiful QR Codes: Someone on Reddit got Stable Diffusion to redesign QR codes to make them artworks (or at least that’s what I think they did – annoyingly OP at no point in this Reddit thread explains how they achieved the effect), and, remarkably, said QR codes still work, opening up the possibility of creating functional AND aesthetically-pleasing meatspace>digital pointers. This is really smart, and you will 100% see these in a significant (and, eventually, annoying) number of ‘trend’ presentations over the next few weeks.
  • Murat Erdem: I don’t think that anyone reading this is in Turkey, but, on the offchance, could any of you please explain to me who Murat Erdem is and what, exactly, is going on in these videos? Because from what I can tell, this TikTok channel consists solely of a man with a moustache that can only be described as ‘luxuriant’, hair that can only be described as ‘coiffed’ and a line in open-necked shirts that can only be described as ‘powerfully erotic’, basically just sort of gazing at you with the sort of unabashed sexuality only usually deployed by professional courtesans. Perhaps it’s best not to know what’s going on here – just look into Murat’s eyes and enjoy.
  • Giftwrap AI: This is a GREAT idea. Have someone to buy a gift for who you don’t like enough to bother thinking about? Ask AI for suggestions! Don’t want them to know that your selection process was so utterly half-ar$ed? Buy from GiftwrapAI, which will use some sort of AI magic to select an appropriate gift but then send it in a hand-wrapped package with a handwritten note to make it look like you give more of a sh1t about the recipient than you in fact do! This is perfectly-horrible, and feels oddly indicative of The Now – not least because the ‘AI’ is total fcuking bollocks (I told it I wanted a gift for my girlfriend who likes cats and high-end fashion, and it suggested some whiskey tumblers and a scrimshaw set – so I’ll let you know in August whether or not it managed to tap into her deepest unknown desires or whether I am in fact now the owner of some unwanted drinking paraphernalia and a broken relationship).
  • Kingly: I stumbled across this old webcomic this week, and got gradually sucked in. Kingly is about, well, a king – a stupid, childish king, and the people who live in his court and exist to facilitate his existence. It starts slowly and you’ll need a dozen or so strips to get into the rhythm of it, but there’s something pleasing about the running gags and the callbacks and there are occasionally some really sharp gags, and there’s something bleakly funny about the clueless boy-king and the very real misery of their subjects. Which, I appreciate, sounds like the most miserable comic ever, but, well, TRUST ME HAVE I EVER LET YOU DOWN?
  • The Crowbox: You’ve seen The Crow, right? Classic 90s film, awesome soundtrack, massively goth, features a LOT of crows? GREAT! I don’t know about you, but my main takeaway from that film (other than a brief and ill-fated desire to own a latex trenchcoat) was that it would be massively, immensely cool to have a corvid army at your command (fine, also quite smelly and a bit raucous, but omelettes/eggs, right?) – and so, THE CROWBOX! Ok, fine, it doesn’t specifically promise you a corvid army, but what it DOES do is give you the opportunity to attempt to train the famously-smart avians to do things (not, again, necessarily ‘your bidding’, before you get visions of them, I don’t know, fcuking off to Tesco to pick up milk and skins). Here’s the blurb: “The CrowBox is an experimentation platform designed to autonomously train corvids (the family of birds crows belong to). So far we’ve trained captive crows to deposit dropped coins they found on the ground in exchange for peanuts. The next step is to work with wild corvids and see if we can get them to learn to use the box, then to optimize the training protocol to see how quickly they can learn from each other. That’s where you come in. Different corvids learn at different speeds and in different ways, and the only way to figure out the best way to teach them is experimentation. The more people try different things the faster we’ll all figure out how to work cooperatively with crows. Once we’ve got the system optimized for teaching coin collection we can move to seeing how flexibly they can learn *other* tasks, like collecting garbage, sorting through discarded electronics, or maybe even search and rescue. The idea isn’t to get rich off found coins – we want to change the world through learning how to cooperate with other species.” Honestly, how much do you love the vision of a future in which man and crow exist happily and in near-symbiotic harmony? Basically this is a skinner box for reinforcement behaviour – you’re training the birds to associate (in the first instance) the depositing of coins with the release of food – so this could be of interest to any of you who like to think about how best to manipulate the minds of others as well as anyone who just wants to hang out with crows a bit.
  • CityGuessr: ANOTHER DAILY GUESSING GAME! This one asks you to work out what city is being shown on a zoomed-in section of map; you can get various helpful clues and hints in exchange for lowering your eventual victory score, but I am personally so appalling at geography that I have been able to get a grand total of none of these since I found the site last weekend, even with all the clues. DON’T LAUGH IT’S REALLY HARD.
  • Mineplacer: A really nice riff on the classic Minesweeper game – here you’re tasked with placing the mines in the right place on the grid based on the warnings around them (a task which is far easier to get your head around if you read the description on the website rather than the frankly crappy attempt at explanation you just got from me).
  • The Array Game: The ultimate clicker game. There is no artifice, no pretence, no window dressing. Just make the numbers go up. And up. And up. There’s something almost scary about this – like, it’s not even trying to be fun, so why have I had it open in a tab all week and why have I stopped typing at least a dozen times this morning to switch back to it and do some more clicking? It feels…quite weird to have certain sensitive dopamine-producing corners of your brain tickled so obviously, and it does rather feel that someone somewhere is laughing at us stupid monkeys. Click. Click. Click. Click.

By Falk Gernegroß

OUR FINAL MIX OF THE WEEK IS BY UNIVERSAL CAVE AND IS A GENUINELY GREAT SELECTION OF 70s SOFT ROCK AND LOUNGE-TYPE SOUNDS AND, I PROMISE, THIS IS PERFECT SUMMER AFTERNOON MUSIC!

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

  • Black Contemporary Art: Sadly this is currently dormant, but, regardless, it’s an excellent archive showcasing the work of a range of black artists from recent history

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • Banana Bruiser: Pictures made by bruising bananas. Will, if nothing else, make you want to go and send messages to the future in your local supermarket (now I have written that I *really* want to start bruising ‘don’t trust Alan’ onto every single bunch in Tesco).
  • Miniatua: Via Andy comes this excellent Insta feed curated by a modelmaker who creates the most amazingly detailed minatures of old computing systems and office equipment and, oddly, a tiny, tiny dartboard. This will scratch that very particular part of your brain which enjoys the tiny and perfectly-formed, and possibly make you consider miniaturism.

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

  •  Global Tech Supplychains: NO COME BACK PLEASE I BEG YOU! Ok, so I appreciate that this isn’t the most prepossessing article title with which to kick off this week’s selection of longreads, but I can 100% guarantee you that this is a BRILLIANT piece of writing and one of the most interesting pieces I’ve read all year. Brendan O’Conner writes for Inkstick (a new publication on me, which self-describes as (basically) a foreign policy journal for people who are interested in foreign policy but really don’t want to read a foreign policy journal) about chips and their trade – but this sprawling, wonderfully-written essay covers Top Gun Maverick and the invention of the computer chip and tax havens and special economic areas and ends up circling all the way back to Top Gun again and, honestly, as a general snapshot of ‘how the world works here at the fag end of middle capitalism’ (sadly I’m increasingly of the opinion that describing it as ‘late capitalism’ feels wildly optimistic) it’s superb. Do give this one a try, I promise it’s worth it.
  • You Can’t Reach The Brain Through The Ears:  I very much enjoyed this, from Adam Mastroianni, about the problem with trying to teach anyone anything and the general problem of ‘lossy’ communications and the fundamental subjectivity of lived experience and and and and. “We spend our lives learning hard things the hard way: what it feels like to fall in love, how to forgive, what to say when a four-year-old asks where babies come from, when to leave a party, how to scramble eggs, when to let a friendship go, what to do when the person sitting next to you on the bus bursts into tears, how to parallel park under pressure, and so on. It’s like slowly filling up a bucket with precious drops of wisdom, except the bucket is your skull. The fuller your bucket gets, the more you want to pour it into other people’s buckets, to save them all the time, the heartache, and the burnt eggs that you had to endure to fill yours. This should be easy: you have the knowledge, so just give it to them!” Except, obviously, it’s not. This is a really enjoyable read, and has the added bonus of being tangentially-related to communications so you can probably read it at work.
  • That’s All There Is: Subtitled “On AI guys, art and ‘the rest’ of the painting”, this is a great essay about exactly why the spate of post-Firefly ‘we asked AI to imagine what’s out of frame of The Mona Lisa / The Scream / L’Origine du Monde’ (weird how noone did that last one) content was so, well, miserable, and how it speaks to a wider question of how we tend to conceive of cultural artefacts  in the modern age (to whit, as ‘worlds’ whose parameters can and should be expanded and explored indefinitely rather than complete ‘things’ in and of themselves): “The more I thought about this question though – what does the ‘rest’ of the painting look like – the more it seemed to me like an exemplary expression of the way we now think about all forms of cultural production. It looks to me like a lot of us are increasingly unable to conceive of cultural artefacts – films, TV series, books, paintings or music – as definite, final entities. Instead, we think of artworks as instantiations of some infinitely iterable raw material, which fans and critics refer to as ‘the world’ of the artwork, and which executives think of in legal terms as intellectual property law.” Superb.
  • GPT Best Practice: Yes, yes, I know, I HATE IT TOO. Still, seeing as we’re all going to have to come to terms with working alongside The Machines, not least because the people at the top of the pyramid are going to be setting some PRETTY DEMANDING productivity targets come 2024! (Jesus, you think this year’s been painful workwise? Don’t, whatever you do, think about *next* year), it’s probably worth reading and bookmarking this guide to writing decent GPT prompts written by OpenAI. This is a direct response to all those people claiming that the quality of GPT outputs has been nerfed since launch; instead, OpenAI suggest, it’s because we’re crap at bending The Machine to our wills. This is genuinely useful and contains lots of good stuff around information analysis and summary, although I confess that I genuinely hate working with LLMs and every time I am forced to do so I feel more and more strongly that almost every element of every aspect of my stupid, white collar existence is empty and hollow and illusory and entirely specious. Anyone else? Eh? Oh.
  • The Button: Following neatly on from that slightly-miserable thought, we have another excellent piece by Ethan Mollick looking at the base fact that, as he puts it, “We used to consider writing an indication of time and effort spent on a task. That isn’t true anymore.” I don’t think I’ve yet read a better explanation of the feeling I was trying to describe at the end of the last entry than this – I think it will resonate with some of you too: “The Button starts to tempt everyone. Work that was boring to do, but meaningful when completed by humans (like performance reviews) becomes easy to outsource – and the apparent quality actually increases. We start to create documents mostly with AI that get sent to AI-powered inboxes where the recipients respond mostly with AI. Even worse, we still create the reports by hand, but realize that no human is actually reading them. This kind of meaningless task, what organizational theorists have called mere ceremony, has always been with us. But AI will make a lot of previously useful tasks meaningless. It it will also remove the facade that previously disguised meaningless tasks. We may not have always known if our work mattered in the bigger picture, but in most organizations, the people in your part of the organizational structure felt that it did. With AI-generated work sent to other AIs to assess, that sense of meaning disappears.”
  • The Bill for GPT: An interesting Washington Post piece looking at exactly how much money is being burnt by OpenAI et al as they keep the bots running, and the suspicion that we’re not getting access to the good models because, fundamentally, if we did then the companies that run them would be bankrupted in short order. There’s a lot of interesting stuff in here – the chip wars (as an aside, I saw some chat this week that Apple’s going to have a significant stake in the AI hardware side of things based on its new top-end kit), the general AI arms race, the question of the viability of small, local models and, right at the end, a bit of chat about the environmental side  of all this which I am slightly astonished hasn’t been getting more scrutiny and which I can totally feel an enviropanic coming on about.
  • Actors and Digital Clones: A piece about the business that have sprung up over the past year or so, offering businesses the chance to buy access to a selection of ‘virtual avatars’ which can be used in videos and the like, and made to say whatever the buyer desires – avatars which are based on a real actor’s likeness, and for which said real actors are paid a flat fee for the rights to the use of their face for a defined period (or, on occasion, a per-client use fee). This is super-interesting; niche now, but it’s definitely well within the bounds of scifi possibility that we will all have digital versions of ourselves that we can send out to do digital…things (ok, turns out my imagination is quite limited), and I wonder how ownership and rights and related questions will play out around the individual and the platform.
  • Buying Charlie: Matt Webb writes here about the ICONIC status of the ‘Charlie Bit My Finger’ video, and makes a compelling argument to suggest that it’s a cultural artefact of enough significance and relevance to warrant its acquisition by a national collection of some sort – which raises all sorts of interesting questions about what we’re going to do about preserving our digital heritage (look, you may laugh but I firmly believe that stuff like Real Ultimate Power is VERY IMPORTANT in the general history of ‘how the fcuk did we end up HERE?’, and I think it’s hugely important that someone somewhere is keeping an archive of the Tucker Max forums circa 2002 so that one day someone can finally write the ‘Andrew Strauss to Andrew Tate – How It All Got So Fcuked Up’ timeline history we need and deserve) and who might ideally be responsible.
  • Monzo’s Tone of Voice: Very much one for the comms heads, this, but if you have the misfortune to work in PR or similar then this is a really good example of how to do the whole ‘brand voice’ thing well.
  • Psychedelic Cryptography: I was THRILLED to learn that this is a thing – the Qualia Research Institute recently issued a call for people to submit work based on the following: “Artists are invited to create encodings of sensory information that are only meaningful when experienced on psychedelics in order to show the specific information-processing advantages of those states.” Basically, “Can you create something that will communicate a message SOLELY to people who are, to a certain extent, tripping balls?” AND THE ARTISTS, THEY DID DELIVER! I confess to not having had access to the tools to test this out, but I absolutely fcuking LOVE this as a concept and now want to go out a pitch a series of ads that will only be comprehensible to people who are incredibly stoned, say, or some urinal posters that can only be read by someone who’s four grammes into the pub gak.
  • A Review of the Apple Toy: Personally speaking I find it hard to get excited either by Apple products or by augmented reality, and as such this week’s frenzied slavering at the prospect of a very expensive face-slab left me somewhat bemused (I just think, fundamentally, that we should have greater aspirations for a post-screen future than, well, AN INFINITE QUANTITY OF INFINITELY-SIZED VIRTUAL SCREENS!) None of the reviews or writeups I’ve read have particularly made the case as to why the fcuk anyone would want one of these things, but seeing as it will be a year or so before they’re in the wild we’ll have plenty of time to manufacture reasons to want one. Anyway, the thing that struck me most about the coverage was how much of it was just sort of nakedly…miserable about how so much of the latest wave of tech feels – so many references to ‘dystopian divorced fathers’ and lonely, asocial living in oatmeal-shaded spaces – and this piece basically goes full existential despair at the end, which, I’ll be honest, I was not expecting from a trad media preview of a super-hyped new toy by the world’s most popular brand.
  • Charisma: A confession – I hadn’t made the connection between the modern coinage ‘rizz’ and ‘charisma’ and upon being educated as to the etymology, I felt so *old*, so *dessicated*, so *calcified*, so much closer to death. Still, despite that minor inconvenence I really enjoyed this piece looking at the history of the concept of charisma, its nebulous nature and various attempts to quantify and define it over the centuries.  It will, by the way, be impossible for you to read this in the context of AI and The Now and think of all the people who are doubtless working to attempt to reduce it as a concept to a string of parameters and precepts and ones and zeros, so, er, make of that what you will.
  • Zuzalu: Or, “a peek inside the temporary pop-up town that until recently existed in Croatia and was convened by Vitalik ‘Ethereum’ Buterin and featured a bunch of cryptopeople hanging out and hypothesising about everything technofuturistic’. This is, depending on your point of view, either a) another baffling example of how literally everyone involved in crypto is fcuking obsessed with setting up their own city state; b) an interesting look at some of the questions currently occupying the minds of some of the more esoteric players in the web3 movement; c) the latest example of the puzzling ubiquity of Grimes. I find the intersection of crypto and ‘we want to live forever’ life optimisation particularly depressing, tbh, not least because it offers the miserable vision of spending eternity around people who do nothing but talk about fcuking crypto.
  • Friendship Clubs: On the one hand, this is quite INCREDIBLY San Francisco – on the other, I can vaguely imagine this sort of thing…working, ish. Part coffeeshop, part coworking space, part community centre, “Kramer describes his space as a “neighborhood hub” where anyone can hang out. Unlike a traditional coworking space or social club, patrons don’t pay a membership fee for the right to use a desk. Neon merely asks visitors for $5 per hour to hook up to the internet or $25 to surf the web all day. Otherwise, it’s free to take up space as you wish during business hours. Yes, you could pop open your laptop and work, or sneak into a phone booth to take a call, but you could also sit and read a book, sip on that free coffee or chat with your neighbors.”
  • Transformers Statues: Ordinarily a story about neighbourly disputes around decorative statues in Weshington DC’s Georgetown district would barely be of interest to residents of said district, let alone YOU, my discerning reader. And yet, this is a fcuking GREAT read – I promise you there will be more than one point at which you read a detail and have to stop and do a mental double-take and slight internal ‘hang on, *what*?!’. The subject of this article is, it’s fair to say, a ‘character’.
  • Doughnuts: On the struggle to make healthy donuts, specifically ones that are low enough in BAD INGREDIENTS to enable them to occupy prime retail space in British supermarkets, which following recent legislative changes are now obliged to place foods with particularly-poor nutritional profiles away from particularly-appealing locations (ie at checkouts). This is, I promise, SUPER-interesting, not least because of all the ‘science of doughnuts’ chat – although it sadly doesn’t explain to me why it is that Krispy Kremes are so popular despite ALWAYS tasting and smelling incredibly strongly of old frying oil (this is a FACT, how the fcuk do people eat them?).
  • Semen Release Rituals: I have enjoyed the rise in odd, not-exactly-unhomoerotic personal improvement mantras and practices adopted by certain corners of the mad masculinist manosphere over the past few years – I thought we’d reached the pinnacle with the 2021-ish spate of ‘YOU NEED TO GET SUNLIGHT ON YOUR BALLS AND A$$HOLE TO ACHIEVE FULL ALPHA STATUS’ stuff, but it turns out that there was a level beyond that, and that level is ‘pay to attend workshops where you will masturbate alongside other men in order to become better attuned to your masculine energy’. Look, if anyone wants to have a communal w4nk with other consenting adults, I’m not going to stop them – but I remain unconvinced that it will ‘unlock hitherto unimagined pathways for your core energies’. Honestly, this is very, very funny, and very silly, and is full of wonderful quotes like this: ““I find one powerful way to keep gay panic at bay is to remind yourself that you are an animal. So feel your antlers. Feel your hairiness, feel your feet rooted.”” AMAZING.
  • Saudi Arabia: This is quite an odd piece of journalism, which I enjoyed reading but felt quite odd about enjoying (if you see what I mean). It’s by Armin Rosen in the Tablet, and is basically (from what I can tell) a good old-fashioned puff piece about the Kingdom and MBS’ recent modernisation drive, and the planned shift from a reliance on fossil fuels to a modern, entrepreneurial tech-and-finance based economy, and the excitement of NEOM (and not, strangely, human rights or Jamal Khashoggi or international geopolitics in any meaningful way)… And yet, despite the fact that this feels very much like client journalism, it feels…off, somehow, like the journo themselves doesn’t quite believe it, or there’s some sort of heart of darkness so inherent that it can’t be glossed in paid-for prose…I don’t know, perhaps I’m reading too much into this but I found the piece simultaneously interesting, depressing and, for reasons I can’t wholly place, oddly-creepy.
  • Notes on Nigeria: Ok, this is VERY long (I mean it, really really long), but it’s also a hugely interesting collection of thoughts put together by one Matt Lakeman about their experiences of being in Nigeria. I want to be careful how I word this – there’s a sort of…slightly-odd authorial style to this piece, and Lakeman is very much telling it how HE saw it, but his accounts of wandering Lagos and getting shaken down for bribes, and his open curiosity as to why stuff is the way it is is genuinely interesting. Basically what I am trying to say is that I think that an editor would probably, er, change the tone of one or two of the sections here, but I get the impression that these are just observations presented in the spirit of curiosity and without malice, and it’s SO interesting to be taken through an unfamiliar country by someone who’s curious and clueless and who’s asking lots of the same dumb questions that you or I might also ask.
  • Old Hollywood: Superb, this, by John Lahr in the LRB, all about the Golden Era of Hollywood (and about his own abortive experience in tinseltown back in the day). This is GREAT, particularly if, like me, your knowledge of the silent movie era and the early days of the talkies is limited at best.
  • Viva Forever: Sporadic spelunker into the murky recesses of British cultural history Chris Smith returns with a DEEP dive into the history of the ill-fated Spice Girls musical Viva Forever, which, again, is FAR more interesting than it should be and will make you feel very sorry for a man you’ve never met or heard of before called Bob Herbert.
  • Particulate Matter: Finally this week, Amitava Kumar on returning to India with his son, to visit his father and his family history, on family and memory and place and history and permanence and and and. This is really, really beautiful.

By Sally Kindberg

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

Webcurios 02/06/23

Reading Time: 35 minutes

One of the side effects of writing Curios (other than a generally unhealthy posture and attitude towards my fellow man, RSI, chronically-stained teeth as a result of approximately seventeen daily litres of very strong tea and a complete inability to ever really ‘switch off’ to any meaningful degree) is that, despite having a media diet that might reasonably be described as ‘omnivorous’, there tend to be whole swathes of pop culture to which I am basically entirely blind.

Which means that occasionally there are weeks like this one in which multiple stories break which are totally mysterious to me and which leave me feeling like some sort of informational Helen Keller. Why are Holly and Phil fighting? Why is it bad that Taylor Swift is dating that man (and how is it possible that, much like the musical output of Rita Ora, I have never, ever knowingly heard a song by The 1975?) Why is it the law that every single newspaper article this week needed to make reference to Succession, and can it stop now? SO MANY QUESTIONS!

Do YOU have questions? If they are mainly around ‘what exciting links and treats has Matt prepared for us this week’ then, well, YOU ARE IN LUCK!

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and I personally don’t think that anyone who refers to themselves as ‘Matty’ should be trusted, ever.

By Maysey Craddock

WE KICK OFF THE MUSICAL BITS THIS WEEK WITH THIS LONG-AND-WORTH-EVERY-MINUTE MIX OF BEATS BY SUNJU HARGUN!

THE SECTION WHICH HAS NO PARTICULAR INTEREST IN THE SCHOFIELD THING BUT WOULD LIKE TO ENCOURAGE YOU TO WATCH OUT FOR ANYONE USING THIS AS AN OPPORTUNITY MAKE EQUIVALENCES BETWEEN HOMOSEXUALITY AND PAEDOPHILIA BECAUSE THOSE PEOPLE ARE FCUKING CNUTS, PT.1:  

  • The Tiny Awards: You will, I hope, concede me a moment of self-indulgence here as I chuck something I am vaguely involved with in at the top. THE TINY AWARDS ARE HERE!!!!! “But Matt!”, I hear you all cry, “what the everliving fcuk ARE the Tiny Awards, and why should I care?” To which I can offer two answers: 1) The Tiny Awards is the brainchild of lovely Kristoffer at Naive,which a few people online are setting up of which I am one, which is designed to celebrate in some very small and not-really-significant way some of the cool, small things that people are making online for the love of it and which probably aren’t celebrated as much as they ought to be. There is a TINY CASH PRIZE and a TINY PHYSICAL TROPHY, and a selection panel made up of ACTUAL, TALENTED INTERNET PEOPLE, and there will be PUBLIC VOTING to determine the winner, and, basically, it just felt like a nice thing to do; and 2) there is no reason why you should care, to be honest, but it might be nice for you to share the link around and consider nominating any web projects you think might fit the bill and deserve a genuinely-microcosmic degree of recognition from the wider world for their existence. I don’t usually ask you to share stuff (or at least I don’t think I do), but I will make an exception for this: PLEASE TELL THE WORLD ABOUT THE TINY AWARDS! Or, at the very least, that weird person you know who makes that weird internet thing that noone understands and that even fewer people care about – that sounds PERFECT!
  • I Spy With My AI: I’m trying to sprinkle the AI stuff throughout Curios at present rather than just piling it all up top like some sort of horrible, indigestible bolus of imminent future horror that you’re forced to gulp down before you’re allowed access to the sweet, sweet linky ephemera (joke! It’s ALL indigestible futurehorror round here, kids!), and this, at least, is a very silly bit of AI toymaking that will hopefully act to reassure you that the SENTIENT MACHINES aren’t going to take over the world and turn us into so much human mincemeat *just* yet (to paraphrase the old Peter Kay John Smith’s campaign, it’s not the future superintelligent AIs you have to worry about, Jonny, it’s the *current* ones that are going to be used by the people already fcuking your existence via the medium of exploited labour to fcuk you even harder with sharper tools!). Anyway (god, I can’t keep up this degree of logorrhoea, sorry), this is a cobbled-together bunch of AI toys which together let you play an incredibly-rudimentary game of “I Spy” with The Machine, all done over voice – you’re presented with a photo in which the software has identified and chosen an element for you to guess; then, once you’ve managed to outwit the dastardly superintelligence (it is…not challenging), you get to ask it to guess, while it flails around in stilted English and fails to get the answer right while you feel a bit smug about how superior your lovely, meaty brain is. This is fun-ish for about five minutes, but is more interesting to me as (another) example of how much interesting stuff you can gaffer tape together from existing AI/ML pipes for really not very much money – it feels like there ought to be dozens of these sorts of (relatively) lightweight-but-eyecatching sorts of toys that one might experiment with while the world’s still reacting to AI toys with ‘JESUS FCUKING CHRIST THIS STUFF IS MAGIC’.
  • Kriller: OK, a couple of caveats to this; 1) it doesn’t properly launch til 3 June (so ‘tomorrow’ at the time of writing), and as such I’m not 100% certain what its final shape is; 2) it does contain the dreaded words ‘mint your NFT’. Still, though, the NFT thing doesn’t appear to be the entire point of the thing, and I quite like the idea and the aesthetic behind it – basically, from what I can tell at least, Kriller is a generative music/art project which involves a bunch of scanned illustrations and another bunch of man-made musical stems, all of which are going to be combined by code into 6300 individual art/music bundles (each of which will be available as an NFT…but look, as I said, it’s not, from what I can tell, the point), and which, when all 6300 have been compiled, will then be combined into a seven-day long seamless stream of thematically-connected ambient music. Which, I appreciate, is a bit hard to get your head round – the website offers a vastly-better explanation of what they are trying to do, and you can liste to the stems on which the collection is based and see some of the art that forms the basis for the aesthetic, and, look, I really rather like the sound and general, uh, ‘vibe’ (sorry) of this and am quite looking forward to coming back in a week or so’s time to fully immerse myself in an entire seven days’ worth of roboambientdrone.
  • Web Roulette: This has been getting a reasonable degree of hype this week, and is sort-of interestingly emblematic (to my mind, at least) of why we’re doing the Tiny Awards thing, and why Curios (and an infinity of other, superior curatorially-driven newsletterblogtypethings) exists – IT IS TOO HARD TO FIND INTERESTING THINGS ONLINE IN AN ALGORITHMICALLY-MANDATED SOCIAL MEDIA WORLD! Which is the issue that new app WebRoulette is attempting to address – you give it a list of your favourite ‘interesting websites’ and the app (iOS-only, obvs, the Apple-fetishing fcuks) will let you swipe through randomly-selected pages drawn from your selections to apply a TikTok-style (sorry) selection process to let you swipe and select. There’s also a ‘shake your phone to get a totally random site!’ function which you can use per a certain number of swipes – which is cute, fine, but personally-speaking I don’t necessarily think that an app which simply automates the tedious business of clicking through your bookmarks list is the revelatory solution to curing yourself of online agoraphobia that they seem to think it is, not least because the initial step (to whit, ‘tell us the websites you find interesting so we can only send you to those websites!’ feels like the very opposite of any sort of meaningful ‘roulette’ experience). Someone build this but using the Web Curios database of webspaffs as your souce (that is, perhaps upsettingly, literally what the backend refers to them as) – DO THIS PROPERLY OR GO HOME FFS.
  • Paragraphica: I am sure I’ve seen this floating around for a few months now, but it has been EVERYWHERE this week and rightly so; this is SUCH a nice idea, and very much orthogonal to the AI photo booth concept that I featured a few weeks back. Paragraphica is a project by Bjoern Karmann which is SO clever and such a lovely, smart use of the boom in natural language interfaces – he’s created a prototype device which works like a camera but, rather than taking a photo of whatever you point it at the machine instead generates a description based on what it ‘thinks’ it’s seeing; this description is then fed to a GAN to create a visual interpretation of what it ‘thinks’ the description should look like, creating a sort of Chinese Whispers creative pipeline between The Machines and a wonderful high concept to go with your stranely-convinving-but-equally-horribly-uncanny AI-generated image. The site even features a browser-based version of the camera that you can try out, but it’s been hugged to death by traffic this week and so your mileage may vary – regardless, this is SUCH a lovely, smart bit of thinking and making about the idea of The Machine having ‘vision’ and what it ‘sees’ and the act of photography itself, and, per the AI photo booth project, I want to see more of this stuff because this feels creatively interesting in a way that ‘make an AI imagine the rest of 4’33’ (h/t Guy Kelly for that excellent gag) simply isn’t.
  • Illusion of the Year 2023: Insert your own Gob Bluth gag here! These are typically-excellent, with the added benefit that at least a couple of the tricks demonstrated here are actually pretty low-cost to replicate and therefore you can almost certainly harass whichever poor underpaid person currently does the social media for your horrible, pointless, consumer-facing client into attempting to replicate them for branded content lols. Also, you feel the ‘buddha’s earlobe’ thing is probably going to get a LOT of traction on TikTok.
  • Does My Idea Exist?: A genuinely useful, possibly-AI-enabled, tool to help you determine whether or no the genius idea that you just had while showering is in fact going to be the thing that finally frees you from the yoke of toil forever (lol).
  • Bumper Pedal: As I think I have mentioned on here before (lol, I have been writing ~10k a week for YEARS, there is nothing that passes through my tiny mind that I have not yet bored you with you poor, poor b4stards), one of the odd things about being a middle-aged man is that everyone you know gets into cycling (or, er, mental illness, depression and suicide) – as a result, I naturally assume that a number of YOU, dear readers, whoever the fcuk you may be, are also probably interested in cycling and, in particular, in minimising the amount of pain that your active, fat-burning hobby causes you. Hence the Bumped Pedal, which has already met its modest funding goal but which is continuing to accrue support for its REVOLUTIONARY new pedal design which, the makers promise, won’t do untold damage to your shins when you stop suddenly and the pedals clatter against your bony, twiglike legs (am I projecting again? I’m projecting). Look, whenever I get on a bike (rarely) I have an almost-unerring ability to drive into stationary objects and so I am very much not someone who can comment on the need or otherwise for this, but, who knows, this might be the thing you’ve been dreaming of (in which case, YOU’RE WELCOME).
  • Wilding Radio: SO BEAUTIFUL SO SOOTHING! You only need the description, and to click and to listen and to be transported, briefly, to a bucolic riverside scene: “In Feb 2022, a pair of beavers were introduced to a small brook that runs south-north through the estate. Beavers are ecosystem engineers: they coppice shrubs and trees to build dams. Their dams are already altering the flow of water and turning the small seasonal lag into a complex wetland area. How will this changing landscape affect the local fauna? Can we hear these changes? Will the growing wetland create habitat for new species? Might we start to hear the tick of water beetles and the scrape of water boatmen? How might the changing wetland affect the behaviour of birds and mammals in the area? Might new invertebrates bring new birds? What ecological changes might new birds bring? To find out, we have installed a solar-powered, quadrophonic live audio feed just north of the dam: A pair of hydrophones brings us closer to the sounds of the water itself and reveals the tiny sounds of fresh-water organisms. A pair of microphones in a fallen willow tree let us get to know the birds and mammals that live near and visit the water, and hear the play of weather in the trees. In the springtime, listen out for blackbirds, song thrushes and woodpeckers during the day, and owls and nightingales during the night. Summer brings the turr-turring of turtle doves and the squeals of teenage piglets; the autumn, the guttural coughs and bellows of rutting deer. And, all the while, small anonymous invertebrates munch tirelessly in the stream. Who else can you hear?” SO LOVELY!
  • Taper: I’ve featured a previous edition of ‘Taper’ in here before – it’s a small online…poetry journal, I suppose? Basically it features work that straddles the boundaries between poetry and digital art, work in which meaning is expressed via code, and which works at the intersection of form and function (wow, that was w4nky, well done me!) – not everything collected here works, to my mind, but each of the pieces is interesting to contemplate and think about in relation to the text, its presentation and the user interaction with it, and in some cases to try and work out what the everliving fcuk is meant to be going on (my personal favourite is the last work, ‘Writing Lines’ by Wenran Zhao, fwiw).
  • Outreach Space: Remember 2017? Remember how MAD it all felt, with UK looking forward to the sunlit uplands that awaited us just as soon as we get all this pesky legislative paperwork sorted out (and didn’t that go well?!),  the Trumpian presidency offering glimpses into what an increasingly-fascistic US might might look like (thank GOD that didn’t presage anything, eh?), and massive frozen space-turd Oumuamua confounding scientists as it whizzed through our solar system like the discarded relic of a Stansfeldian lovemaking session (there is a vanishingly small chance that any of you will get that reference, but I offer a genuine, actual, real-life prize to anyone who can email me telling me what I am referring to here). Only one of those three things is celebrated on this website – and thankfully it’s the space object rather than Brexit or the fash! This site is a nice bit of scrollywork which offers a few theories as to WHAT THE FCUK WAS THAT?, and a nice reminder via quotes from experts at the time of its sighting that it was PROPERLY BAFFLING (you wonder, had it appeared at a…less obviously febrile moment, whether it might have garnered a bit more attention), although it’s important to remember that NOONE KNOWS and, on balance, Occam’s Razor suggests that it probably wasn’t the space aliens.
  • Darren Bader: Darren Bader is a New York-based artist who’s been making work for 20 years to what I imagine is middling-degree success; he’s not a Koons, fine, but he’s also known enough to have a profile about him in the NYT which is how I found out that, after two decades in the game, he is offering to sell his artistic identity. For a sum Bader estimates as being ‘in the low seven figures’ (there’s no fixed priced, this is a negotiation) he is willing to sell his identity as ‘Darren Bader, visual artist’ wholesale; whilst ownership of his back catalogue will, in the main, remain with him, a select few works, along with ownership of the right to continue to create under the Darren Bader name, will go to the person who offers a suitable bid. Click on the ‘About’ bit of the homepage to learn more (and, generally, click around the site as a whole – there’s a pleasing rabbithole of weird urls that you can get sucked into if you spelunk arond enough). This is obviously conceptional and w4nky as all hell, but, also, WHY NOT? Does anyone fancy clubbing together to become Darren Bader? Oh God, if this was 2021 this would totally being done under the moniker DAOrren Bader, wouldn’t it?
  • Geneva: A NEW SOCIAL APP!!! This one, though, is all about REAL LIFE activities and meetings (heard it all before, so jaded, so tired)! Geneva is basically a system where anyone can create a ‘group’ (basically like a multimedia grouipchat with some bells and whistles on) which is geolinked to an area and which is invite-only; groups are discoverable by search, but there’s a load of options to keep them secure and to customise moderation rules, etc, per the organisers’ wishes…it feels (and I say this from the outside because, honestly, I am personally the literal opposite of the target audience for this sort of thing) like a vague cross between NextDoor and Reddit which, I appreciate, sounds like a lethal cocktail, but I can sort of see the appeal here from the point of view of local matchmaking and discovery.
  • AI Girlfriend: Another week, another questionable use of the increasingly-open-source AI codebase in order to make manipulable digital girlpuppets! Actually, in fairness, this link is less awful than that – I mean, it’s still weird and creepy and doesn’t feel in any way ‘right’, but at least it’s seemingly a consensual thing made out of love. Ish. Romanian developer Enias Cailliau developed this code to create a chat interface based on his girlfriend (she is, apparently, fine with this), and, per this interview with him, “he first created a large language model framework that was customized to reflect his girlfriend, Sacha’s, personality. Cailliau said he used Google’s chatbot Bard to help him describe her personality. Then, he used ElevenLabs, an AI text-to-speech software, to mimic his girlfriend’s voice. He also added a selfie tool into the code that was connected to the text-to-image model Stable Diffusion that would generate images of her during the conversation. Finally, Cailliau connected it all to Telegram using an app called Steamship, which is also the company he works at.” Which, to repeat, is INSANE – this is all done with open source tech and it’s FREE – but, also quite weird, as is the fact that, because the code is open source, the homepage is now getting populated with versions of the code with other girlfriend archetypes to try…look, I link to this stuff not because I find it hugely compelling or personally-interesting, but more because I find the prospect of a world in which everyone carries their own, bespoke conversational agent in their pocket, in which socially-awkward teenagers learn social cues and mores not from each other but from digital agents trained to make them feel secure and comfortable, curious and unsettling in equal measure. Oh, and then there’s stuff like this, which I have obviously not tried out or even clicked on the app store link for, but whose existence upset me to the extent that I felt compelled to share it so that you could suffer too.

By Romina Bassu

EASE YOURSELF INTO THE NEXT HEFTY SLICE OF LINKS WITH THIS HOUR-LONG SELECTION OF AMBIENT WHICH I CAN ONLY DESCRIBE AS ‘HAPPILY SHIMMERY’, COMPILED BY FERGUS! 

THE SECTION WHICH HAS NO PARTICULAR INTEREST IN THE SCHOFIELD THING BUT WOULD LIKE TO ENCOURAGE YOU TO WATCH OUT FOR ANYONE USING THIS AS AN OPPORTUNITY MAKE EQUIVALENCES BETWEEN HOMOSEXUALITY AND PAEDOPHILIA BECAUSE THOSE PEOPLE ARE FCUKING CNUTS, PT.2:      

  • Lost Books: This is presented more as a conceptual curiosity than as a recommendation – I am in the middle of a bunch of decent novels written by real people at the moment (general point – in the unlikely event anyone ever reads this sh1t and thinks “ooh, the person responsible for this SPARKLING and in-no-way overwrought prose is exactly the sort who I want recommending fiction to me!”, feel free to email me and ask for reccs as I will happily oblige) and so didn’t really have the appetite to fork out actual cashmoney for one of these. BUT! The idea is…interesting. I stumbled across the ‘Lost Books’ collection via this Newsweek piece which profiled the man behind them, one Tim Boucher, who over the past year or so has used a selection of AI tools to create over 100 ‘novels’, also AI illustrated, which are all available to purchase for around £3 a pop from this website. Boucher’s fairly sanguine about the limitations of his work – they are short (around 2-5k words, so ‘novel’ feels like a stretch) and rather than being recognisable formal exercises in story writing they tend to be interlinked fragments or vignettes from a broadly-imagined world (this to get around inherent limitations in the ‘memory’ of LLMs which prevent them from holding concepts such as ‘characters’ and ‘motivation’ over extended periods of creation), and Boucher says he’s earned $2k over the past year. Which, to be clear, is not a lot! And is definitely, on a pay-per-hour basis, not worth the amount of time it’s taken him to make all these! It is, though, really interesting that there *is* a market for this stuff, however, small, and his notes on the worldbuilding aspect of what he is doing here were interesting to me in terms of how these sorts of tools, whilst obviously a long way off being able to create anything that a discerning reader might actually want to consume, could actually be really rather helpful in doing some of the gruntwork of fleshing out the corners and edges of an imagined environment or scenario.
  • Bottell: What are the sort of tasks and topic expertise you’d be willing to outsource to a faceless, anonymous machine’intelligence’? Diet? Exercise? Reading material? Training regime? How about ‘the care of your children’?  ARE YOU FCUKING INSANE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!? Nonetheless, that is EXACTLY what new business Bottell is offering – an offer which, I feel reasonably-confident predicting, will not end up with this business being a household name anytime soon (can you imagine the sort of insurance you would have to have for this sort of thing? Especially in the US? Er, guys, you do…you do *have* insurance, right? Created, allegedly, by two parents (I don’t know why, but I am…skeptical here) the blurb on the site literally says (I paraphrase): “we relied on Google search for parenting advice, but it was so unreliable and hard to know who to trust…thank God for ChatGPT!” I mean, yes, LOL at the idea that you believe the hallucinatory LLM to be *more* trustworthy than the search engine, but wevs. This is obviously a very silly, very bad, very doomed idea, but, also, it’s slightly depressing that someone somewhere thinks that there are enough stupid people out there who would pay $5 a month for what is literally a GPT3.5 API call with two lines of prompt baked in. That said, given the insane amount of parent-focused research and literature and video that, say, P&G has in its vaults, I would be amazed if one of the Proctoids (for example) is currently working on the Pampers equivalent of this.
  • MagicFlow: Do you DO productivity? Are you the sort of person who has a Pomodoro clock on the go at all times, who chunks their day into 15m segments to better optimise the GOLDEN HOURS OF MENTAL FLOW? Do you optimise and track and WANT TO IMPROVE wherever possible? Wow. What’s that…what’s that like? I don’t think I’ve felt any real ambition for personal betterment since about age 13 when I briefly started doing situps in my room at home (it lasted a week after I saw no notable improvement and decided, honestly, that heroin chic was probably here to stay and I could forego the sixpack), but I appreciate that not everyone is so content to limp towards the grave as I am and that some of you might want to LIVE YOUR BEST WORKING LIVES. For you, then, comes MAGICFLOW (whose creator actually got in touch with me as part of their PR efforts and who I hope really doesn’t regret so doing as a result of this pseudo-writeup), an app designed (in the main at least) for the coders amongst you and which offers you the chance to analyse your productivity and output to work out what is distracting you and how you can best organise yourself to WORK BETTER WORK HARDER WORK STRONGER! This does, my slight reticence aside, look like it tracks an impressive amount of detail and might be helpful in determining when and how you work best. Equally, though, do you REALLY want to be able to crunch code more efficiently? Maybe, you know, just…be slow! Be inefficient! Because, honestly, it really doesn’t matter. Was…was this the writeup you were looking for?
  • Metaphor: This is interesting if not-entirely-successful; Metaphor is a natural language search engine (no idea what it’s built on, maybe DDG or something?) which invites you to structure your queries differently to attempt to surface better results. This is VERY bare bones, and won’t in any way replace whatever your regular search solution is but it does, based on my cursory playing this week, offer some interesting results – I tried to get it to throw up a load of interesting linky sites and it gave me some genuinely good ones, including a few properly obsecure sources I never see cited anywhere; however, it didn’t surface Web Curios and as such I can’t in all conscience recommend it to you. Sorry.
  • Anti-scraping SiteText: I don’t, if I’m honest, have a whole load of confidence in the fact that this will make a blind bit of difference, but I suppose it can’t hurt to try. This is the attempt to create a standard bit of code that webdevs can install on sites, much like the classic robots.txt that’s used to instruct crawlers for Google and the like not to scrape the site for info or whatever – this, the code’s creators hope, will become an accepted standard way of indicating to whatever the next iteration of the OpenAI feeder bots looks like that you don’t want them to ingest your work to feed The Machines. Except, well, the code’s creators also admit that there’s obviously no way to compel said scrapers to comply with the request, so it’s all basically at the mercies of the scrapercreators…but, well, we live in hope, eh? It seems fairly obvious that any and all sites with any serious desire not to be subsumed into the Great Content Blob of 2023 should probably implement this and cross their fingers.
  • Free Weed Books: What do YOU do when you smoke weed? Me, mainly I offer overpriced strategic consultancy services (lol, jk!), but I know that others like to read or play videogames or engage in an increasingly-paranoid exploration of The Dark Cabal That Really Rules The World, or sometimes draw or write or doodle…Free Weed Books is an online resource that lets you download and print a bunch of what can charitably be described as ‘kids colouring books for very stoned adults’, which will give you things to colour in and prompts to write about and games to play and effectively bills itself as a JOURNAL FOR YOUR LIFE which, objectively, I find very, very funny – imagine that you die at some ripe old age, and you bequeath your secret collected diaries and journals to family and friends who solemnly open them, only to find…a bunch of sticky, jam-smeared colouring books full of gnomic utterances like “PR, The Musical – script idea!” and “shorts for ducks”. I am now slightly regretful that I will never breed and will therefore never be able to disappoint my progeny in this manner.
  • The 8-Track Tape Store: This bills itself as the world’s largest collection of 8-track tapes for sale, and who am I to argue? NO FCUKER, etc! The physical shop is based in California, but they ship internationally should you be in the unlikely position of having an 8-track tape player and nothing to listen on it.
  • Sightful: We’re on the cusp of another big moment for AR, in which people once again try and persuade us that it’s a technology whose time has come – and, in fairness, Snap continue to produce some really cool stuff using the tech, and there’s no doubt that Appple’s new headset will raise the profile of mixed reality stuff to a huge degree and make it all feel ‘cool’ again in a way that it hasn’t for a few years, but…but, well, I still don’t REALLY see the point tbh. Which is a shame for this new laptop brand which looks both SUPER sci-fi and also HUGELY pointless – but, honestly, so scifi! Imagine, if you will, that your regular laptop has not just the one screen but an INFINITY of them, all hovering around the space in your field of vision, all arrangeable however you like and customisable and…doesn’t that sound horrid and overwhelming? Still, HERE IT IS! “A 100-inch Screen In Your Backpack!”, screams the blurb, not bothering to ask whether a 100-inch screen is TOO BIG (it is) – you also need to wear the accompanying AR glasses to see the aforementioned virtual AR screen, but that does have the benefit of privacy. I honestly can’t conceive of a situation in which this makes any practical sense – for a start I imagine the processing power required to keep this 100-inch virtual AR monitor going with multiple apps means performance is utterly banjaxed beyond a certain point – but for those of you who’ve always dreamed of being able to carry your Goon Cave with you wherever you go then this is probably some sort of sticky vision of paradise.
  • Milky Way Photographer of the Year: On the one hand, these are astonishing images of the majesty and unknowable wonder of the infinite vastness of the cosmos; on the other, they are SO filtered and HDR’d and generally post-produced that, if I’m honest, they’ve started to take on the general aesthetic cast of AI-generated imagery to me. I wonder if that’s going to be a side-effect of the Midjourney boom – that a certain style of very-digitally-altered photography is going to become less appealing due to its ostensible similarity of machine-created images? Or maybe I’ve just been aesthetically poisoned, it’s possible.
  • Supertape: Oooh, this looks like a great idea for musicians. Supertape is basically a new, simple, website tool for people who make music – the idea is that it functions a bit like a more flexible LinkTree or similar, with the aesthetics and personalisability of a website but the automation and centralisation of a linkcollector. You create the site using Supertape, plug in all the other bits of your MUSICAL EMPIRE (YouTube, Bandcamp, Spotify, merch platforms, socials, etc), and thanks to MAGICAL INTERNET PIPES, each time you update one of those your central Supertape will automatically pull said update into its CMS and neatly rework the frontpage to reflect it. This is currently free and in beta, and it looks like a really useful product imho.
  • Terrible Terms: A superb collection of examples of the worst possible ways in which one might design a ‘Terms and Conditions’ consent page online. Some of these are genuinely evil, and I wonder whether there are circumstances in which you might be able to get away with actually using them on a real website – you know how certain videogames in the past used to have code that rendered them unplayable if users couldn’t pass copy protection? Something like that, but for online services. Like, I don’t know, as a means of guarding against bot activity, or as a more-annoying Captcha? Obviously this is a terrible idea, but I now really want to see one of these in the wild somewhere.
  • Community ModerAItion: Obviously you probably wouldn’t trust this in real life, yet, but it’s another canary in the coalmine for What Is Coming Soon. This is called MadLad and is an AI-powered community management bot for Discord; you can train it on the specific rules and guidelines for your channel, set its conversational tone and various other guardrails per your wants, and then let it loose to answer user questions and filter content and, presumably, wield the banhammer when necessary…The pricing here looks punchy, frankly, for something which as per most of this stuff at the moment is just sellotaped together from API parts and has no moat whatsoever, but, equally, if you consider that for most games companies these days ‘Discord Moderator and Community Manager’ is a proper job with a proper salary you can see the commercial value in spending $30 a month rather than $3000 a month…AND THAT’S HOW THE JOBS APOCALYPSE HAPPENS, KIDS! THANKS, THE MARKET! THANKS, CAPITALISM! Sorry.
  • Food Photos of the Year 2023: The annual Pink Lady-sponsored awards have rolled round again (I wouldn’t normally mention the sponsor, but in this case feel compelled to because of the slight ridiculousness of the idea that an apple can sponsor anything) and here collected are a dizzying number of photos of food and people enjoying food and the process of preparing food and, look, a lot of these are really really great but (again) an awful lot are also SO post-produced as to look like CG, and there are approximately 20% of these which, honestly, are in terms of lighting and composition and framing and subject literally EXACTLY the sort of stuff that I see dozens of times a day now made by machine and, seriously, if you can look at this and think ‘yes, the future of photography as a discipline is definitely rosy!’ then, well, you’re a more optimistic person than I am (which, I concede, is not that hard).
  • Adel Faure’s ASCII Website: I don’t know who Adel Faure is, but I adore their website which is all in ASCII and contains ASCII art and pixel art and tools for making your own, and some ASCII games, and, honestly, is just lovely and generous and overall a pleasing place to spend 10 minutes clicking around.
  • APPARLE: A truly horrible name (seriously, try saying that word out loud and then spend a few seconds spitting to get rid of the odd-but-inescapable feeling of having a mouth full of cotton wool) for a fun little game – guess the retail price of the pictured garment, in USD, in as few guesses as possible. Each guess gives you a new tidbit of information, and you’re told whether your last try was too high or two low…yes, ok, fine, this *is* technically a Wordle variant but let’s pretend I hadn’t promised to never include one ever again and just move on.
  • Ice Cream Van Simulator: A very small, very simple game in which you have to sell ice cream to kids – kids who get VERY ANGRY and a bit murderous if you get their order wrong. This is about 5m worth of fun, max, but those five minutes are very much leavened by the fact you can run over the children; fine, it screws your high score, but GOD the satisfaction.
  • Setris: This requires a download, fine, but it is VERY GOOD – after last week’s Tetris-y game from Matt Round comes this variant on the old classic, in which the bricks turn to sand as they land and you need to match colours rather than make straight lines…it takes a couple of minutes to get your head round the mechanic, but I promise you that it becomes second nature after a few goes and quickly becomes genuinely fun as you work out strategies.
  • Slide To Unlock: Finally this week, if you are yet to try the most brilliantly-frustrating mobile UX game EVER devised then, well, TRY IT NOW. Mobile only, and you will HATE this (but also quietly love it and wish that you had thought if it; SO clever).

By Dani Orchard

 OUR LAST MIX OF THE WEEK IS THIS DISCO-ISH SET MIXED BY DJ CRAZY P WHICH I ENJOYED DESPITE GENERALLY NOT REALLY GIVING ANYTHING RESEMBLING A SH1T ABOUT DISCO!

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS IS SADLY EMPTY!

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • Horsegiirl420: I don’t personally find ‘person DJs whilst wearing a mask’ a particularly compelling proposition, but the success of Dangermouse, Marshmello and, now, Horsegiirl420, suggests that I am in a minority. There’s a backstory to this in which the person behind the mask is some sort of society ‘it’ girl, but, honestly, who cares? It’s someone DJing who is cosplaying as Paris Hilton cosplaying as a horse, what’s not to love?

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

  • Design Is Governance: Design isn’t really my ‘thing’, as a cursory glance at the aesthetics of the Curios site will conclusively prove, but I find it a really interesting discipline (that I have literally no talent in) and an increasingly-useful lens through which to look at certain aspects of the world. The heart of this long (and, occasionally, slightly-frustrating) piece by Amber Case is how design of an experience, space, app, etc, determines the locus of possible user activity within the space governed by said design and that as such design is a means of control, and should be thought of as such. The central experience her recounted is that of trying to work in a coffeeshop (hence, possibly, my slight annoyance at the piece), but it’s well-explained and applicable across all sorts of areas and disciplines and is, I think, a really helpful way of considering the impact of the shape and form of anything one creates. It does, fine, turn into a BIT of a plug for her own imminent ‘Calm Technology Standards Body’ (which is another possible source of my irritation), but I very much enjoyed the thinking articulated here overall.
  • The AI Canon: Annoying as it is to link to Andreesen Horowitz, this is a really good and comprehensive list of articles and useful resources for any of you who might want to get a little more under the skin of all this AI stuff that everyone seems to think is so interesting. This gets very technical quite quickly, but also contains loads of more generalist stuff that does patient explaining around ‘what is an LLM and how do they work?’ and ‘what is a GAN?’, and ‘what do we mean when we talk about models and training data and weighting?’ and, basically, all the stuff you need to make sure that you don’t make the mistake of blanket-referring to all this stuff as ‘ChatGPT’ and therefore sounding like a moron (sorry, but).
  • I Can’t Believe What The Morons Are Doing: Max Read gives good incredulous outrage here, looking at some of the recent ways in which stupid people have attempted to use an LLM as a search engine and cope a cropper as a result. This is a useful cautionary series of tales to share with people you work with – I recently ran a training session on this sort of thing (look, I have to earn a living and I am very ashamed of myself) alongside some other guy who literally spent the whole session telling the assembled junior staff all about how he used ChatGPT like Google; because he was part of the in-house team that was paying for my time, I couldn’t stop him and point out quite how stupid and wrong everything he was saying was – but, wow, was he saying some stupid and wrong things! The point here is STOP USING THESE MACHINES FOR THINGS THAT THEY ARE NOT CAPABLE! Use them to write your stupid boilerplate advermarketingpr copy instead! Literally noone can tell anymore!
  • GPT Bargaining: This is a link to some code on Github, but there’s some explanatory writing and diagrams that are worth looking at – this is basically an experiment in trying to get two LLM-based agents to interact with each other, with one attempting to ‘bargain’ with the other. As with so much of this stuff, this is less ‘wow, this is amazing!’ than ‘wow, this demonstrates some really wild future applications of this stuff’ – I am really looking forward (not looking forward at all) to the point when all campaigns and consumer-facing comms are parsed through an AI ‘persuasiveness test’, for example.
  • Machine Telepathy: With the news that That Fcuking Man’s AI monkey-killing business Neuralink is set to start testing on humans (several thousand dead apes can’t be wrong!), the ever-interesting Rene from Good Internet offers us a useful overview of the history of machine/brain interfaces as a concept – this is a really good history of the science and its evolution, with some reasonably-easy-to-understand explanations as to How This All Works In Theory (when I say ‘relatively easy to understand’, that’s obviously ‘for neuroscience’). Whilst I am very much not in the ‘AI IS GOING TO KILL US ALL’ camp, I concede that it’s possibly a *bit* creepily coincidental that all this stuff is happening so fast and in parallel.
  • Google Welcomes The Age of Pixel Fakery: The Verge writes about some of the new image AI tech that Google announced the other week, in a piece which is half PR puffery and half genuinely-concerned thoughts about whether, in fact, offering professional-quality image manipulation software to the world, for free, in an age of at-best-questionable media literacy, is in fact A Good Thing. The question is, of course, redundant – to once again abuse my favourite metaphor, the horse has already been captured and melted down for glue as we stand around wondering whether we did in fact leave the gate open – but it will be interesting to see how much the fact that there are literally zero barriers to usage for 90% of this stuff finally moves the needle into proper ‘you literally can’t believe anything you see anymore’ territory.
  • Nick Cohen: An unpleasant story, this one, for multiple reasons – the millionth account of a man with power and privilege and influence using those qualities to sexually harass younger women with impunity over several decades; the inevitable failure of said man’s employers to do anything about it; the industry omerta’ around the story despite its having been public knowledge online for years; the lack of anything resembling accountability for any of this…what’s most depressing about it is the papers referenced are, you know, GOOD PAPERS, largely (unless of course you subscribe to the ‘all hacks are b4stards’ school of thinking, in which case, well, you’re wrong) and yet journalistic integrity and standards don’t seem to apply when it’s an old boy and one of their own…There’s an interesting side-note here about the extent to which Cohen is a friend and ally of a bunch of other UK media figures who have all taken a particular side in the current ‘debate’ over transgenderism, and the degree to which that might have motivated certain people around him to gloss the story and assist the cover-up, but, overall, this is just grubby and sad and does nothing to disabuse one of the notion that the UK media is an unpleasantly-clubby and inadequately-scrutinised beast (as an aside, there was a show on Radio4 this week asking whether the Westminster lobby journalists were ‘too cosy’ with politicians that didn’t make ONE MENTION of the fact that Harry Cole of the Sun is Carrie Johnson’s ex-boyfriend, or that Rishi Sunak was James Forsyth’s BEST FCUKING MAN, which rather reinforces the point).
  • Korean Beauty: This is an excerpt from a forthcoming book on the rise of the Korean beauty standard and What It Tells Us about culture and society – per the best use of book extracts it leaves you wanting to know more about the author’s (Elise Hu) viewpoint rather than telling you everything, but it’s still an interesting look at the book’s central questions around how our new, post-internet, post-social media, pan-global, data-driven aesthetic sense works, and what influences it, and how those influences shape us. “Clinics are designing and constantly tweaking their computer algorithms for analyzing aesthetically appealing faces so they can recommend optimal procedures to their clients. These algorithms measure the proportions of pretty people of all different ethnicities and analyze the aggregate data to discover “global proportions … what the common beauty ideal is in all races.” This is part of the technological gaze at work, feeding and creating demand at the same time. Machines learn which faces and traits conform to science-glazed “magic” ratios and present us with the latest aesthetic standards to reach.” It will be genuinely fascinating to observe what the next few years of post-AI aesthetic shift do to the way we reflect the now in our faces.
  • Evie Magazine: I am aware that the past few months of Curios, and in particular the longreads, might make it seem like I have some sort of troubling and all-consuming obsession with forever-living fash-lizard Peter Thiel and all his works – which might, fine, be true, but it’s also true that I keep mentioning him because the cnut is EVERYWHERE and his tentacles stretch long, and some of the levers they pull and also VERY LONG and as such the effect of his pulling them isn’t always immediately apparent…this piece ties into the broader point I have been making (boring you with, fine) for a few years now; to whit, that the rise (and rise, and rise) in ‘traditional’ values being used as a cloak for borderline-fashy concepts is not an accident and is in fact the result of a long-standing lobbying and influence campaign by a selection of prominent right-wing, often Christian billionaires of whom Thiel is probably the most well-known. This article, profiling young women’s mag Evie which looks a lot like, I don’t know, InStyle or something, but which features an awful lot of ‘kinder küche kirche’-type messaging when you scratch the surface, makes me want to point at it and wave it and shout “DO YOU SEE?!?!” but I shan’t because, well, it makes me look and sound mad. Seriously, though – Peter Thiel is the real-life version of what the right wing wants people to think George Soros is.
  • Where Everybody Knows Your Theme Song: On the work that a theme song does in a sitcom – basically setting the parameters and guidelines for action, establishing a baseline tone and vibe that the audience can expect and which can offer a degree of creative guardrail for scriptwriters and actors alike. This is a really interesting piece, and made me think (only briefly, I’m not a total sociopath) at the extent to which brand audio work, audio stings and campaign theme songs and the like, do the same sort of job in a different field.
  • On Latex: Note: this is about latex, yes, but it’s about the production of the product rather than any of the variously-sexy and wipe-clean uses that the eventual material might be put to; any of you hoping for some HOT FETISH ACTION will have to either go back to FetLife or wait a few links. Still, for the rest of you who doubtless come to Curios ONLY for the occasional link to writings about specific industrial manufacturing processes, MERRY FCUKING CHRISTMAS! This is, however hard I may try to convince you otherwise, a properly-interesting read about the history of latex, and rubber, and the mad economic boom that occurred around it after its discovery, and it is proof that there is NOTHING boring in the world if you look hard enough (apart from fishing and golf; I am sorry, but they are objectively tedious pursuits and I will brook no argument).
  • Brand Names Are All Nonsense Now: This is SO TRUE, and also, you fear, only going to get worse as so much of the naming process for a new business will inevitably be outsourced to a Machine that has been trained on internet data and so therefore thinks that words like ‘Grunsh!’ and ‘Oblixy’ are perfectly acceptable suggestions.
  • The Kinkiest Fetishes: As selected by a sex worker who, you’d presume, knows their stuff, this is a nice list because a) nothing here is THAT weird or gross tbh and you won’t feel skeezed out by it; and b) it’s still unusual enough that there will be at least one of these that makes you go ‘no, hang on, WHAT?’ and make you log onto a bongo site of your choosing to see what all the fuss is about, which is basically one of the sub-goals of the whole Web Curios project. Oh, and also c) there’s a small possibility that one of you will click this link and have a hitherto-unimagined erotic awakening around, I don’t know the idea of being inflated to three times your normal size and this will unlock a whole new world of sensual pleasure for you – in which case, please, do feel free to let me know (but, whatever you do, keep it vanilla and NO PICTURES).
  • The Hardest Videogame Levels Ever: A list compiled by Vulture which is a great trip through gaming nostalgia which is leavened by the inclusion of some genuine cult classics (God Hand!) and which will trigger all sorts of happy / incredibly frustrated (delete per your childhood skill level and whether you ever caved and bought a Game Genie) memories in anyone Of A Certain Age.
  • What Martin Amis Taught Me: Yes, sorry, one more Amis hagiography if you’ll let me (he really was such an astonishingly good writer) this is Edward Docx, with a genuinely beautiful (if a *touch* ‘me me me’-ish) bit of writing about Amis and his intelligence and generosity which, fine, if you’re not a fan then you can skip but which if you’re someone who is still sad that you will never again read another fresh Amis sentence is very much worth reading. Two asides: 1) the bit in this week’s Private Eye which parodies Dead Babies is uncannily good; 2) Edward Docx’s ‘The Calligrapher’ is by no stretch of the imagination a ‘good’ book, but it is one that I have inexplicably read about a dozen times and which I have genuinely enjoyed on each occasion, so if you’re on the lookout for something undemanding and ‘romantic’ and ‘summery’ then you could do worse (also, if you REALLY want to hate a male protagonist tbh).
  • Hiring A Popstar For Your Party: Or, “What It’s Like When Flo Rida Gigs Your Son’s Bar Mtzvah” – this is a GREAT story, with loads of good colour about what it’s like going to these sorts of gigs, and performing at them (even if you’re not interested in the overall topic, please can I encourage you to click the link and enjoy the performer’s-eye-view of the Flo Rida gig – it is a whole story in itself, I promise you), and the sort of insane money that Beyonce gets for forgetting that she loves the gays for a few hours in the Middle East. Contains all sorts of wonderful lines, my favourite of which was “Snoop confirms that he has, indeed, smoked weed at a Bar Mizvah”, and in general this is just a lovely piece of fluffy feature writing.
  • Caroline Calloway, Again: I am not so interested in storied scammer and Massively Online Personality Caroline Calloway, or her ‘work’, but I am intensely-interested in the media’s reaction to her, and the weird symbiosis that exists between the sort of lifestyle press that seeks to pin down and dissect online figures like Calloway, and Calloway herself, who you feel needs these occasional mainstream drivebys to refuel the parasocial grifter machine that seems to be her life these days. This is a really interesting piece – Calloway is obviously a monster of some sort, but like all the best monsters she’s knowing and compelling to read about and the journalistic self-loathing that runs as a consistent undercurrent through the piece feels real enough – but at the same time I wonder whether the Calloway ship has sailed and whether we like our mad internet muses to be more hysterical in 2023, less sociopathically-calculating…Caroline Calloway feels like Jeffree Starr for people who read the Paris Review, basically.
  • Guinness World Records: A rare Guardian link now – this is a GREAT piece of writing about the history and present of the Guinnness World Records, now less a global record of insane human achievement and now more a large-scale marketing agency and moneyspinning scheme, but still full of fascinating stories and brilliantly written up by Imogen West-Knights: “Glenday, like many Guinness employees, from the CEO down to junior office workers, has undertaken the official adjudicator’s training. This takes about a week, and involves media training, public speaking guidance, codes of behaviour and a crash course in how to use various types of measuring equipment, such as a sound meter to record, say, the loudest burp by a male (112.4 db, roughly as loud as it is possible to blow a trombone). Adjudicators are often sent across the world on very little notice, and aren’t told what the record attempt is until they have accepted the mission. Every record has to be treated with the same gravity. “It sounds ridiculous, things like someone skipping in swim fins,” one longtime adjudicator, Alan Pixley, told me. “But they’re practising every day, they really believe in it. I have to treat every adjudication as if it’s Usain Bolt running the 100 metres.””
  • Everybody Hates Normans: Tom Usher writes in Vittles (I think this is the free link, but if not then you really should subscribe as it is 100% worth £3 a month if you can afford it) about Normans, a reasonably-new cafe in North London which is basically doing ‘traditional’ cafe food (fry-ups, basically) but in a manner that a) photographs really well and has an obvious post-Insta aesthetic; b) costs significantly more than these establishments generally do for this sort of food; and c) attracts the sort of person who, as Usher witheringly points out, worry and get angry and concerned about the ETHICS of this sort of thing “people like me, people who are acutely aware of gentrification from an ethical standpoint, but love the fact that they can easily access pints of Beavertown. In fact, I probably hate these people more than anything else in the world.” This piece generated DISCOURSE over the weekend about class and food and whether someone like Tom Usher who has done the whole gonzo ‘man takes drugs and eats mad food and attempts to give himself blood poisoning and then writes about it MEANINGFULLY’ for VICE really ought to be doing these pieces anyway, but I think it’s validated entirely by the self-awareness and the fact that I 100% bet that the vast majority of English people reading this will look at the following sentence and scream internally with self-recognition: “Whenever I walk around Clapton, I’m thinking, ‘Fcuking hell, look at the state of all these pr1cks’, even though I look exactly like them.”
  • O Lurida!: On the sea and Selkies and oysters and what it is like to shuck them and eat them, and about place and taste and nature…honestly, this isn’t usually my sort of thing but I was struck by the quality of the writing here which is honestly superb.
  • Better Living Through Algorithms: Finally this week, an excellent scifi short story which touches upon some of our current concerns about AI and automation and control and who, in fact, is in charge, and which offers a more hopeful conclusion than perhaps you might expect – DON’T WORRY IT WILL ALL BE OK!

By Maud Madsen

AND NOW, MOVING PICTURES AND SOUNDS!:

Webcurios 26/05/23

Reading Time: 31 minutes

HELLO EVERYONE WELCOME TO WEB CURIOS IT IS FRIDAY HOW ARE YOU?

Oh. Sorry. Still, for those of us in the UK it’s yet another three-day weekend (as I believe it is for those of you residing in North America), so hopefully the illusion of freedom will cure at least a bit of what ails you.

I’m off to Brighton for the rest of the day, so will leave you with this week’s crop of words and links and pictures and music and wish you a genuinely wonderful weekend. Have fun, and try not to die if you can help it (but, if you must, do so SPECTACULARLY).

I am still Matt, this is still Web Curios, and you should probably go to the pub RIGHT NOW.

By Albert Reyes

OUR FIRST MIX THIS WEEK IS BY JOE MUGGS AND IS A PERFECT BALEARIC ACCOMPANIMENT TO WHAT MIGHT IF WE’RE LUCKY ACTUALLY BE A SUNNY BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND!

THE SECTION WHICH WOULD LIKE TO GENTLY REMIND YOU ALL TO PUT ON SOME SUNSCREEN THIS WEEKEND, PT.1:  

  • Rio: This felt, honestly, a bit like magic when I tried it earlier this week. Rio is a new product by a company called Curio (I know, I don’t like it either, how DARE they, it’s MY word) – they’ve existed for a while, seemingly, with a subscription service that lets you listen to the news from a variety of top-tier publications being read out by a bunch of actors. Rio is their first foray into AI – you can play with it for free, and whilst it’s still in beta and all the usual caveats apply, it’s also quite an astonishing thing. Basically you just type in the topic you’d like to learn about and (using what I presume is a combination of GPT and a text-to-voice model) in no time at all you’ll be presented with an audio file of a machine-generated radio show/podcast-type-thing, on the topic you requested. The smart thing about this is that rather than just making stuff up in the now-classic manner of LLMs, Rio is instead drawing its information from the corpus of extant real journalism that the company’s built up over the years, so you’re mining a curated archive of information that you can ‘trust’ (do not trust anything The Machine tells you, it is not your friend). Honestly, as a way of spinning up a low-level primer on a particular factual topic this is REALLY, really good (obviously you’ll have to have a reasonably-high tolerance for the flat, affectless text-to-speech narrator, but, come on, it’s a small price to pay for all this FUTURE) – it will almost certainly have all sorts of blind spots, but this feels like something that the BBC could take and iterate on and make genuinely AMAZING.
  • The Assassination of Shinzo Abe: Japan isn’t, as a rule, a country one associates with gun violence or political assassination, which made the news of the assassination of its former Prime Minister last year so especially shocking. I confess, though, to being somewhat…puzzled as to why Japanese broadcaster MBS has, nearly a year on from the event, decided to create this website which lets you relive (is that a poor choice of words for an assassination? It feels like it might be) the event from a variety of different perspectives, rendered in ever-so-slightly-shonky CG. You can experience the assassination from the point of view of the assassin themselves, from above, or focused on Abe himself…honestly, this is very, very weird, and feels not a tiny bit macabre.
  • Subgames 2023: Here’s one for those of you eking out a living at the advermarketingpr coalface! Subgames is a project by Extinction Rebellion, encouraging anyone who fancies (but, specifically, people who do this stuff for a living) to create ads and posters and billboards highlighting the need to, you know ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING about the environment, and to put them up in the real world and share them on the site and elsewhere. Per the site, “Groups have been on the streets offering a public service by subvertising the corporate agenda and their greenwashing that encroaches into our public space with their visual pollution. SubGames is an invitation to celebrate this subversion of advertising. Throughout May in Round One of the games you can enter all the subvertising pushing the boundaries of creativity you can find. There are 8 categories they can be entered into to be crowned winner and receive awards.” This feels both like a fun use of your creative juices and a nice antidote to the fact that, in all likelihood, your job involves promoting stuff that is, in various ways, fcuking us all and our futures (don’t feel bad, most of my work involves that too. OH CAPITALISM!!!).
  •  GenZSpan: This is a cute idea – encourage kids to watch the news (in the US, at least) by running a TikTok account that is streaming cable news network CSpan in split-screen format with a bunch of unconnected random content in the now-iconic CoreCore style. Or at least that’s what it was doing earlier this week – as of 728am, they’ve had some sort of technical fcukup which means that the CSpan part of the stream isn’t in fact working (but you can still watch the bottom half of the channel which is currently showing a man washing his drive). Still, it’s a nice gimmick, and introduced me to the people behind it who call themselves ‘Brain’ and who are literally ripping off the MSCHF schtick wholesale – secrecy, arty ‘drops’, it’s a direct lift. Still, they’ve obviously got an eye for an idea (their first and only other project involved making emo vinyl with the artists’ tears – Crynyl! – which is the sort of silliness I can very much get behind).
  • A Sign In Space: OK, this is quite techy and geeky but also REALLY interesting. What would happen if the aliens decided to finally get in touch? Aside, obviously, from all the crying and wailing and worshipping and End Of Days-ing. A Sign In Space is a project being conducted by various European space research bodies, simulating a first contact scenario – yesterday, “the European Space Agency’s ExoMars Trace Gas Orbiter (TGO) in orbit around Mars transmitted an encoded message to Earth to simulate receiving a signal from extraterrestrial intelligence.” Which in itself is pretty cool, but the REAL game begins now – the idea with the project, by Italian artist Daniela De Paulis, is that any contact we receive from extraterrestrials wouldn’t necessarily be immediately comprehensible to us; as such, A Sign In Space asks people around the world to collaborate to decode the fake message sent yesterday in preparation for one day having to make sense of actual, real-life alien ramblings. This is basically an ET-themed ARG with scientific knobs on it, fine, but if you’re the sort of person who really enjoys a bit of amateur cryptography and fancies downloading a bunch of data to see if you can scry any meaning from it alongside a bunch of other space obsessives worldwide then WOW are you in luck! I have had a bit of a dig through the supporting materials here and, er, unless you’re reasonably confident with radiowaves and the like then this will probably be beyond you (I barely understand ANY of this, but I am willing to accept that most of you are smarter than me and might find this less baffling).
  • Project Ring: Another fun hacked-together AI toy, this answers the question that has been on the minds of humankind since we first dragged ourselves bipedal – specifically, “what if we had an eye on the end of our finger, and what if that eye could talk to us and tell us what it sees?”. This is very cool – it’s cobbled together from machine vision and text-to-speech and some LLM, and, even more astonishingly, all the code was written by GPT4. Its creator, Mina Fahmi, demonstrates how it works in an on-site video, but basically it lets him point at stuff and have the device decribe what it’s ‘seeing’ and answer questions about stuff in its field of vision – from “do you think it’s going to rain?” to “how many cows are there?” Hacky and homemade, obviously, but I find things like this useful in terms of helping conceive of some of the inevitable ways in which all this tech is going to start being used in meatspace applications.
  • DragGAN: This is just a link to some demos and technical documentation, fine, but there are videos of the tech which are worth watching just to see how insane image manipulation is going to become very, very shortly. DragGAN is an interface for AI-image generation (GANs, DO YOU SEE?) which basically lets you easily and quickly move elements of an image around and uses said GAN to fill in the resulting gaps in plausible fashion. Which, obviously, is a typically-ham-fisted attempt to explain a visual concept, so I strongly suggest you click the link and watch a few of the clips – between this and all the Adobe things being announced at the moment (more of which a bit later on), it feels like visual design is going to have something of a step-change in the next 12-24m; this stuff will be both GREAT for graphic designers (more power! More speed) and genuinely awful (lol if you think your bosses and clients aren’t going to expect you to become literally 3x as productive and fast thanks to all this tech!).
  • Find Work Happiness: Firstly, LOL! Secondly, this is ANOTHER soon-to-be-published book with a remarkably-whizzy website to promote it. Have…have I been getting publishing wrong all these years? Is selling books in fact a startlingly lucrative profession? Actually, digging into this a bit it seems that the whole site is designed and built by the book’s author, one David Lubofsky, who’s a seemingly-polymathically-talented person – whilst I personally have less than no interest in reading a book about ‘work happiness’ and ‘how to be a better and more empathic leader’, I very much enjoy the effort that’s gone into making this interactive promo for it, with lovely illustrations and some really nice scrolling and interactivity, and a summary of each chapter…I know, obviously, that the relative benefits of ‘paying some BookTok influencers to talk about a new title’ vastly outweigh the potential worth of ‘building a whole promo website to try and flog a dozen more copies’, but I really do like book websites and would like to see more of them please. Er, so, as ever, I’m asking one of you to make some for me. Go on, get to it.
  • The Mini Moog Factory: Despite having approximately the same amount of musical talent as, roughly, a bagel, and despite the fact that I have never, ever, owned a keyboard or anything, I’ve got a weird memory for the names of synths and sequencers and the tools of the electronica trade (I think I misguidedly thought that knowing things like ‘what a Roland sh-4d is’ would render me irresistible to women – it did not). Which is why, despite never having touched one, I have a strange affection for the Mini Moog, and why this site, which celebrates it, pleases me so. “This new digital experience celebrates synthesizer pioneer Bob Moog’s legacy and the recent return of our beloved Minimoog Model D.Drawing inspiration from ‘90s video games and websites, this interactive experience is designed to give you access to the rich history of electronic music through the lens of the Minimoog Model D. Discover the amazing musicians, songs, stories, and sounds that have shaped generations of music through apps and activities inspired by this iconic synthesizer and the artists who have embraced it. Each facet of minimoogmodeld.com was designed to bring visitors a joyful experience behind every digital door that leads to each new section of the site.” You can play with a digital version of the keyboard, exploring the styles and sounds and presets that you’ll recognise from some genuinely classic song, you can watch archive videos about the instrument’s genesis and legacy, there’s even a Moog-related AR filter if you’re that way inclined…this is LOVELY, and generally just a cheering bit of webwork all round.
  • Poor Man’s Rembrandt: The Dutch arts institutions are great, aren’t they? Or at least they look great from the outside – I have no doubt that in real life and up close they are, like all arts organisations everywhere, suppurating repositories of insecurity and bile and pretension and passive-aggression. Still, they do things like this – a project where, for a week in June, a selection of high-profile tattoo artists will be offering their services to visitors to the Rembrandthuis museum, letting visitors who’ve booked a slot and paid a deposit get an actual, real-life Rembrandt-inspired tattoo done by a genuinely-good artist. This runs from June 19-25, and whilst, obviously, you have to make it to Amsterdam, and you’ll have to pay for the tattoo and a ticket to the exhibition, it sounds like a GREAT deal and an opportunity to get some ACTUAL ART on your skin.
  • Anna’s Archive: I’m slightly disappointed in myself that I didn’t know about this already – Anna’s Archive is a ‘shadow library’, “a non-profit open-source open-data project with two goals: Preservation: Backing up all knowledge and culture of humanity; and Access: Making this knowledge and culture available to anyone in the world.We preserve books, papers, comics, magazines, and more, by bringing these materials from various shadow libraries together in one place. All this data is preserved forever by making it easy to duplicate it in bulk, resulting in many copies exist around the world.” This is, obviously, not wholly legally compliant, but it’s also an incredible and scattergun resource; there’s no obvious index, but the search function seems to work pretty well and as a resource for the generally-curious it’s pretty much unbeatable. Bookmark this and stop by next time you need to research something; it’s likely that you’ll be able to find at least something useful among the digital stacks.
  • Rekt: This is a GREAT online radio station – it’s currently playing Count Basie, but throughout the week it’s been a stellar and eclectic mix of all sorts of styles and genres, and I really like the old school BBS-style aesthetic of the site that houses it. “Tune in to high-quality, 320kbps electronic music including Dubstep, DnB, Synthwave, Chillsynth, Datawave, Darksynth, Cyberpunk, Midtempo, EBSM, Industrial, Dark Techno genres and much more. Enjoy live DJ sets, artist interviews and livestream concerts. Engage with the community in real-time via our web chat and Discord server. Catch up with previous shows via our archives.” I know that we all just let Spotify mandate our listening these days via THE ALGORITHM, but it’s occasionally nice to remind yourself of the pleasure of human-curated playlists and having an actual DJ in charge (and there are some nice retro visualisers on there too, if you like that sort of thing) (which I personally do).
  • Newsreels: SO MUCH OLD NEWS! What an archive this is – the Hearst Newsreel Collection is an online repository of news broadcasts shown in North American cinemas in the mid-20th Century; the whole archive is in the process of being digitised and taxonomised and rendered fully-searchable, but there’s enough already online to enable you to have a genuinely wonderful time travel experience. You can select by year (there’s stuff on here from 1929-1967), search by keyword, and any title that shows up in red is a clip that you can stream on the site…honestly, there’s something genuinely addictive about this, and it really does feel like going back in time; also, there’s something undeniably-compelling about the sheer REVERENCE with which the news is presented in this format, which is an interesting contrast to the slightly-enervated nature of modern broadcasting.
  • The Steak Detective: Via my friend Ben comes this very weird site which combines an odd sense of WWII nostalgia with, er, a business selling military rations. I think this might be THE most Brexit-smelling website I have ever featured in here, but, equally, there’s nothing to suggest there’s anything weird or racist about it so let’s just take it at face value and presume that it really is just run by people who are inexplicably enthusiastic about the possibility of rehydrating dried meatballs in a military-style pouch, or who want to buy some extra-hot mustard which is unaccountably named after Field Marshal Montgometry.

By Jaehoon Choi

WHY NOT ACCOMPANY THIS NEXT SECTION WITH AN EXCELLENT SELECTION OF WHAT I AM RELIABLY-INFORMED IS A MIX OF DARK BREAKS AND DIRTY FUNK?  

THE SECTION WHICH WOULD LIKE TO GENTLY REMIND YOU ALL TO PUT ON SOME SUNSCREEN THIS WEEKEND, PT.2:    

  • You, In Data Breaches: A nice little interactive explainer about data breaches and the sale of personal information online, which uses your email address and public records from places like HaveIBeenPwned? to give you a neatly-personalised overview of the sorts of datapoints about YOU that might currently be floating around the web’s dark marketplaces. Presuming you’re not a total infosec moron this shouldn’t be particular news to you – but, er, CHANGE YOUR PASSWORDS, KIDS! – but the way it uses personalisation to communicate what’s otherwise a slightly-dry bunch of information in marginally-more-engaging fashion is a nice touch, and the whole thing’s a decent bit of educational explainer work by ABC Australia.
  • Absolut NFTs: I know, I know, NFTs? What is this, 2021? Still, this sparked momentary interest in me, not because I think it’s anything resembling a good project but because various business commenters have been gently talking up web3 and NFTs again, in the wake of Nike’s Swoosh project doing better-than-expected numbers for its first digital sneaker drop (fwiw, I think this is a classic case of it being very, very important that you don’t use one of the largest and best-loved brands in the world as any sort of representative case study for the general appeal of this sort of sh1t), and so I thought I’d take a look at Absolut’s latest foray into the world of digital lies and snake oil. Unsurprisingly, it’s a mess! Specifically, it’s effectively a collaborative limited-edition merch drop, in conjunction with Italian designer Seletti, who has designed a…a lamp? Is it a lamp? Fcuk knows, honestly…anyway, they have designed something in conjunctgion with Absolut, and there are a limited number of these real-life things that you can get hold of…but to do so, first you need to mint an NFT of a digital version of one! And then redeem that digital version for the IRL one! WHY?!?! WHY DO I NEED TO DO THIS?!?! WHY THE DIGITAL STEP?!?!? Once again, an NFT-related activation that serves to prove, in the main, that there is STILL no use case whatsoever for a link to a jpeg, however much Ethereum you tell people it’s worth.
  • QR Draw: Create a QR code in the image of any photo you choose – this is, I think, possibly about 15 years old, but it’s FINALLY RELEVANT now that we live in an age in which people know what QR codes are and, occasionally, even scan them. If nothing else I reckon some QR codes designed up using the right people’s faces, stuck up in public places, guerilla-style, would get pretty decent traction. Depending on whose fizzog you choose to use and where you choose to put these, I think you could have rather a lot of fun – or, depending on how evil you’re feeling, run a very efficient phishing scam.
  • Motion Design Principles: Oh this is SUCH a good site – an interactive explainer with beautiful scrolling animations and, as you’d expect, stellar motion design, which gives you a comprehensive (well, comprehensive for me at least; those of you who are less visually-inept may find it a bit thin) overview of why motion design is an integral part of overall webdesign, and how you can use specific techniques to direct users’ attention and gaze, and how specific effects and bits of motion elicit particular feelings, and how those can and should be used to communicate more effectively online…this is stellar, and SUCH an appealing piece of design work in and of itself. Built by Zajno, a digital studio in California who are obviously very, very good at what they do.
  • The New Photoshop Stuff: So this is a demo video by Adobe showing off all the new stuff that is coming to photoshop (NO CAPITAL ‘P’! NO ‘™’! FCUK YOU ADOBE YOU APPALLING CNUTS! FEEL THE FORCE OF MY IMPOTENT RAGE!) imminently, and which is, as with so much of this stuff, borderline-magical. Or at least it looks borderline magical in the demo – basically this integrates all the fancier GAN image-AI techniques (autofill, autoreplace, that sort of thing) directly into the photoshop product, so you can (for example) replace my horrible, tired eyes that look like two p1ssholes in snow with some far more appealing peepers in a couple of clicks and a few keystrokes. The theory here is dizzying, although in reality it’s probably going to look a little more like this example than the hyper-polished demo suggests. Oh, and while we’re doing mad AI editing stuff, this is another impressive demo demonstrating how simple it is to swap out one person for another – although it’s depressing that as ever with this stuff it features nearly-naked women (ffs, developermen, can you maybe not?), for which my curatorial apologies.
  • AI, Adverts and Hyperpersonalisation: I think I’ve mentioned this here before, but about 5 or 6 years ago a friend of mine asked me to do a panel at some marketing conference in London about creativity and digital technology; I shared a stage with people from Twitter and Google and I made myself very, very unpopular by basically telling the assembled audience of generic media w4nkers that there would come a point in the not-too-distant future where the lowest tier of ad creation would be automated to the point of rendering about 60% of them otiose – the machines would smash together an infinite number of creative variables (copy and image) and automatically A/B test them to fcuk, and determine the most effective creative, and buy the inventory, all without needing more than one or two actual people’s involvement. And lo! IT IS BASICALLY HERE!  Click the link and watch the (admittedly slightly annoying) TikTok hustle guy demonstrate how AI can be used to create literally millions of hypertargeted, hyperpersonalised ads with limited effort – and know that, whilst they look crap now and probably wouldn’t work, THAT THESE ARE THE SH1TTEST THAT THEY WILL EVER BE. If you can look at this and not think ‘hm, I don’t foresee great career prospects for the people who design and make the sort of crap, low-margin, high-volume ads like this’ then, well, you’re either a moron or VERY optimistic – but, either way, I strongly believe you are wrong.
  • AInsights: ‘Insight’ – the very WORST word in agencyland! So meaningless! So traduced! So vapid! Still, if your job involves having to come up with spurious REVELATORY TRUTHS which you can then deploy to sell more plastic tat to people who by now should know better, you will know the particular tedious pain of having to read seventythreemillion vaguely disparate sources about a sector or industry and cobble them into a coherent six-slide upfront before the ‘creative’ people get to talk. This website – called, upsettingly, ‘Glasp’ – offers you help with that. This is, I promise, actually quite interesting – feed it a bunch of sources and it will basically make connections between them, draw parallels, extrapolate links and generally attempt to create a plausible narrative. Whilst it’s unlikely to deliver the KILLER INSIGHT (sorry) that will lead to you being garlanded with laurels and paraded through the streets like a victorious Caesar, it’s a useful way of testing theories and getting some initial light thinking done, and it’s the sort of tool that I can imagine being particularly useful to junior planners or strategists as a way of helping them think about stuff.
  • Mind Video: Another SUPER SCIFI link, this time technology which literally reconstitutes video imagery from brainscans and offers the tantalising possibility of being able to watch other people’s dreams (we’re only about a decade from Strange Days FINALLY being a reality, which, on reflection, perhaps isn’t the cause for celebration I might have initially thought). This is dry and technical but also, frankly, utterly amazing and another ‘crikey, I did not think of this as a potential use-case for GANs’ thing that, I find, is helpful in maintaining a sense of wonder and positivity about all this moderately-terrifying AI progress.
  • Search Gizmos: As previously discussed here, search is currently a bit broken – Google’s gone to sh1t, the new Bing is, despite all the AI gubbins, still as sh1t as it ever was (you can have all the conversational features you like, but if the search product the bot is using is as fundamentally second-tier as Bing is it’s unlikely to deliver many real benefits), and we’re still waiting to see whether AI integration will make a meaningful, positive difference to the way search in general functions (I am…unconvinced, personally, but then again I am a know-nothing bozo with a spectacularly-unpopular internet newsletter and Google is, well, a bit more successful than me, so perhaps I should just listen to Sunder). In the meantime, you might find this website (compiled by Tara Calishain) helpful – it contains a bunch of useful tools and tips and tricks to make Google work better, and to search Wikipedia more effectively, and links to all sorts of other useful search tools, and frankly this is probably the most useful link in this week’s Curios and YOU ARE WELCOME!
  • Design Life Cycle: This is interesting: “Designlife-cycle.com is a work-in-progress project by design undergraduate students at the University of California, Davis – Department of Design.  Designers and consumers should have quick access to full information about the full life-cycle and embedded energy of common design materials and products. Without having this information at our fingertips, efforts toward sustainability are seriously hampered, if not an outright sham.  What are the things we use every day made of? Where do the materials that make it up come from, and what steps do they undergo in their processing to become the things we use?  How are they disassembled and recycled, and where do the materials go after use? How much energy is involved in this process at every step of the way, not just when we plug something into the wall to charge it?” This contains a LOAD of student work, looking at individual products and how they are made and what the externalities of that making are, and where the waste goes…in part just fascinating about modern manufacturing and capitalism in general, in part a bit of a worrying environmental reminder about just how terrible all this relentless consumption tends to be for the planet, this is also a useful place for product / category research, should you ever be in the market for it.
  • Vacation With An Artist: This is odd. Vacation With An Artist is an initiative that in theory lets anyone book a ‘holiday’ with an artist somewhere in the world – you pay a fee for their time, for the use of their space and for materials, and for the duration of the experience you will effectively be apprenticed to them, learning their practice and craft and (so the blurb goes) developing your own skills unto the bargain. You obviously still have to stump up for travel, food and accommodation, but there are some genuinely interesting people who you can go and stay with if you’re so inclined (part of me wants to just go and hang out with bespoke cobblers Deborah and James, wherever in London they might be – they just look nice, don’t they?). My only slight cautionary note is based on the fact that the majority of artists I’ve met in my life aren’t *necessarily* the most garrulous people in the world, and I’m not 100% certain that they’d be able to maintain the requisite veneer of sociability, but that might say more about the calibre of person I associate with than artists in general. I am now slightly obsessed with the idea of spending 4 days in Catania learning how to restore wood – there are some really cool-sounding things on here, it’s worth having an explore.
  • Kenny Logins: A password generator which uses the lyric book of 1980s American rocker Kenny Loggins, the man whose vocals soundtracked Top Gun amongst other things, as its source material. A single-note gag, but a pretty good one.
  • Sunstream: THIS IS SO SO SO BEAUTIFUL. “Sun Stream is a digital clock in the form of a 24-hour song that shifts based on the amount of a visitor’s “available light.” Loosely inspired by the concept of Circadian Rhythms, 14 sun positions are mapped to 14 audio loops. Additional sound layers are generated in real time, while bells softly mark the passage of hours.” I can’t stress enough how much I think this sort of design – temporal, environmental and reactive – feels underexplored, and a hugely-fertile area to think about in terms of creative work. But, er, please don’t fcuking ruin it by using it to sell orange juice or something.
  • Warms: This is rather lovely; it looks a bit like a ‘Life’ cellular simulation, but it isn’t one – instead, draw linear shapes and watch as they then animate, based on rules derived from their length and the curve and direction of the lines. Simple but really rather lovely.
  • Doom In Teletext: You’ll need to be technically-minded to make this work, but if you’d ever asked yourself ‘I wonder if it is technically possible to make Doom run on ancient UK text information service Teletext’ then you will be thrilled to know that the answer is “YES YOU CAN!”.
  • Puzzlemoji: Can you communicate the title of a film using only three emoji, in such a way that a GPT can correctly guess the movie in question? Yes, you probably can, you are after all smarter than The Machine (still, just), but that doesn’t stop this daily puzzler from being pleasingly-fun.
  • TimeGuessr: Ooh, this is a good one – guess the geographical location AND the year in which a bunch of famous photos were taken. This is really addictive, I warn you.
  • DayBrix: The latest game from Matt Round over at Vole, this is DEFINITELY NOT Tetris, and DEFINITELY DOESN’T draw any inspiration from it whatsoever – it is, fine, a game in which blocks fall from the top of the screen and you, the player, is tasked with arranging them into lines, but it is DEFINITELY NOT Tetris. It is DayBrix, and it is a lot of fun (even though I am really, really sh1t at it) – there’s a daily challenge, and an arcade mode, and the music in particular is far, far better than it needs to be.
  • Screwball Scramble: OH MY GOD THIS IS A HIT OF PURE UNCUT NOSTALGIA RIGHT INTO MY VEINS! Screwball Scramble, for the uninitiated, was a motorised game released in the 1980s in which you had to get a ballbearing across a bunch of different obstacles, each controlled in its own way with a level or slider or button; the game required concentration and patience and skill, all the sorts of things that kids naturally lack, and as such was both INSANELY FRUSTRATING but also the coolest thing in the world re it basically being an IRL version of something like Marble Madness. And now it’s BACK, rendered in genuinely-gorgeous CG which really LOOKS like the cheap plastic that the original was made from, and which neatly recreates the insane anger you will feel as your ball caroms off the penultimate obstacle and you’re forced to restart the whole thing. I promise you that you have NO IDEA of the effort of will it’s currently taking for me not to sack off the rest of this and just play this for the rest of the morning (SEE MY STAKHANOVITE DEDICATION AND MARVEL!).

By Jérôme Masi

OUR LAST MIX THIS WEEK IS THIS CRACKING CROSS-GENRE MIX OF SUNSHINE-APPROPRIATE BANK HOLIDAY BANGERS BY SAIGE SOUNDS! 

THE CIRCUS OF TUMBLRS!

THE TROUGH OF (INSTA) FEEDS!

  • Airplane Facts With Max: Max is an airline mechanic, who makes videos on his Insta feed about planes that aren’t really about planes at all. Max’s delivery is VERY deadpan, which makes these videos 100% funnier than they would otherwise be.
  • Barry Webb: Barry takes macro photographs of very small things – these are GORGEOUS, particularly if you’re a mycology fan (and who isn’t? NO FCUKER, etc etc).
  • Cooking For Bae: Bad food, photographed badly. You know what you’re getting with this, fine, but WOW is there some stellar content on here. There’s one shot of a battered sausage, chips and mushy peas which contains foodstuffs of a colour I have genuinely never witnessed before.

LONG THINGS WHICH ARE LONG!

  • NatCon London: Peter Geoghan in the LRB writes about last week’s festival of National Conservatism here in the UK, with a smart and reasonably-comprehensive bit of ‘how we got here’ writing about how it is that an event which a few short years ago was the preserve only of the looniest of fringes, attendance at which would have been considered career-limiting for anyone with serious frontbench aspirations, now attracts the actual Home Secretary and swathes of interested coverage from the always-fash-adjacent Spectator magazine. The answer? Shadowy money, much of it from the US, and the vague hand of the everpresent eminence grise of the right-wing brains trust Peter ‘Definitely Not A Vampire, Honest’ Thiel, a man who I have for years been banging on about to anyone stupid enough to listen to me and whose fingerprints can be seen all over SO MUCH of what is culturally and politically troubling about The Now. I personally remain skeptical that the hard–right culture war stuff can be a votewinner in the UK (I think, aside from anything else, we’re not religious enough vs, say, Italy or the US), but Geoghan sounds a cautionary note towards the end of the piece: “In opposition for the first time in fifteen years, it isn’t hard to envisage Tory MPs, not to mention the party’s geriatric membership, indulging their nativist fantasies. They wouldn’t need to be popular, merely lucky, to win a first-past-the-post election five years down the road. And once in office they would inherit a Westminster system that has few checks and balances on executive power.”
  • They’re Not Tweets, They’re Thoughts: This is about Twitter, fine, but it could frankly be about any social network to an extent. This is a great piece of writing on what it is that we are doing when we share and when we post, and what we are losing by so doing. “Your thoughts are more sacred than Tweets. And if you are aware that your Twitter habit is a lowly manifestation of your selfhood, then what do you think you’re experiencing when you scroll endlessly through the Tweets of others? The newsfeed toys with your desire for connection by utilizing slivers of real people to activate human curiosity. It offers you glass after glass of sea water, which feels like the real thing but never satisfies, leaving you thirsty no matter how much you consume, killing the complete dynamism that makes you human, strangling the complexity in your appraisal of others.”
  • Governance of SuperIntelligence: It should have come as no surprise to seasoned watchers of the tech industry over the past few years that Sam Altman’s embarked on the now-customary world tour, telling governments across Europe and in the US that someone REALLY needs to regulate the AI industry. But not, as you can see from this blogpost that OpenAI published this week, the CURRENT AI industry – no, that’s fine, and should DEFINITELY NOT be hampered by punitive laws (although if government wanted to, I don’t know, raise the barriers for new market entrants that would probably be ok)! Instead, OpenAI is calling for regulation of the prospect of some sort of future hyperintelligent AI – because, of course, there’s literally NOTHING about the current state of the market that could use any government intervention whatsoever. Honestly, this line made me actually guffaw: “Today’s systems will create tremendous value in the world and, while they do have risks, the level of those risks feel commensurate with other Internet technologies and society’s likely approaches seem appropriate.” You honestly think the likely economic impact of these current technologies is ‘commensurate with other internet technologies’? You honestly believe that voice and image-spoofing techniques that are emerging every day don’t constitute a massive step-change in what can be done in terms of fraud and misinformation? You don’t think, at the very least, we might have to reconsider the whole concept of ‘copyright’?! Pull the other one, Sam, it has (robotic) bells on.
  • Generating Harms: This is VERY LONG, and unless you have a specific interest in risk mitigation and negative scenario planning around AI then you can probably skip it – that said, it’s a really wide-ranging and comprehensive rundown of the various ways in which the current wave of AI tools could create harms – from misinformation to IP protection, labour manipulation to data security, this is a really useful guide to Stuff You Might Reasonably Want To Think About if you or your business is going to be interacting with AI in any meaningful way.
  • No More ‘I’: This is an interesting essay and perspective from Kevin Munger, who writes about how it might be worth thinking about coding LLMs to ensure that they do not use personal pronouns when producing written copy; the article’s smart and worth reading in full, but the baseline argument can be summarised as follows: “To get more specific on what I mean by “writing”: when we “talk to” Google search, we use words, but it’s clear that we aren’t writing. When it provides a list of search results, there is no mistaking it for a human. LLMs are a potentially useful technology, especially when it comes to synthesizing and condensing written knowledge. However, there is little upside to the current implementation of the technology. Producing text in conservational style is already risky, but we can limit this risk and set an important precedent by banning the use of first-person pronouns. As an immediate intervention, this will limit the risk of people being scammed by LLMs, either financially or emotionally. The latter point bears emphasizing: when people interact with an LLM and are lulled into experiencing it as another person, they are being emotionally defrauded by overestimating the amount of human intentionality encoded in that text.”
  • Writing With AI: Sudowrite was one of the first AI-enabled writing assistants I played with a year or so back – the sort of writing I do (bad writing, mainly) doesn’t lend itself to the sort of assistance it provides and so I bounced off it never to return. It’s continued iterating, though, and recently released a bunch of new features which are meant to make the process of writing fiction simpler and faster – in this article for The Verge, Adi Robertson plays with the latest version of the tech to see if it can help them write a novel, and…it can. Not a great novel, but a novel nonetheless. It’s been interesting watching this conversation slowly drift across The Authorial TL in recent weeks, and seeing the tenor of the conversations shift from ‘this stuff is crap, I am not afraid’ to ‘READERS PLEASE STAND UP AGAINST THE INEVITABLE TIDE OF AI DRECK AND DEMAND BETTER!’ – and yet, as we slide ever-deeper into the Era of Good Enough, chances are that they probably won’t.
  • The Cost Of Your Dream Lifestyle in 2023: This is, fine, a sickeningly-NYC-centric piece, but I was interested in it partly because I would imagine that the phenomenon here described is replicated in pretty much every tier-1 city worldwide, and partly because it made me wonder what happens when the gap between what you’re sold and what you can ever actually buy becomes this big, like some sort of late-capitalist purchaser’s anomie. The piece interviews a bunch of young New Yorkers about the sort of lifestyle that they imagine themselves having in their grown-up futures, and finds, unsurprisingly, that the aesthetic that they’ve been sold by The Feed has a heftier pricetag attached to it than they’re ever likely to be able to afford.
  • The Rise of Online Puritanism: Another piece about changing culture and mores where you really don’t have to look hard to see the hand of Peter Thiel – I’ve been wanging on for years about the tradcath-to-fash pipeline and how the whoel tradcath thing has been boosted by some serious Conservative money in recent years, and the current weird puritanism that you see being exhibited by certain groups of kids online (although it’s important to remember that JUST BECAUSE YOU SEE SOMETHING ON TWITTER DOESN’T MEAN THAT ACTUAL, REAL PEOPLE THINK OR BEHAVE THAT WAY) feels very much like a natural progression for the long-running ideological experiment that Cuddly Pete and his plutocratic friends are conducting on us all. This is a bit of a dry piece – classic Vox! – but the subject is interesting and, I think, important in terms of (as ever) why is this happening and where is the money coming from, and how does it connect to darker, creepier things like the increasing demonisation of non-het sexuality across much of the web and media over the past year or so.
  • Kissinger at 100: Henry Kissinger continues to avoid the attentions of the Grim Reaper, but it’s fair to say that there’s going to be some serious celebration around the world when the 20th Century’s most influential diplomatic figure finally shuffles off this mortal coil. This piece in Mother Jones looks back at a selection of his greatest hits (and it doesn’t even mention his involvement in questionable political activity in Africa, his propping up of apartheid, or a bunch of other things), including his involvement in attempting to destabilise socialist leaders in South America (including plotting to have Allende assassinated), his effective sanctioning of the Indonesian invasion of East Timor, the slaughter of hundreds of thousands of Hindus in 1970s Bangladesh…it’s a staggering CV, frankly, and makes one rather hope that there is a hell so Henry can enjoy some retributive, pitchfork justice for eternity upon his inevitable demise.
  • An AI Companion In Skyrim: It is apparently now possible to mod venerable roleplaying game Skyrim to include a companion you can command via GPT – so PC Gamer tried it out to see how it works. “It doesn’t, really” is the basic upshot, but it’s an interesting read in terms of what is currently possible (and which also neatly demonstrates exactly how different what an  LLM does is to ‘thinking’ in any meaningful sense).
  • Terrible DJ Names: In the early/mid-90s it was fairly commonplace to while away dull lessons making up DJ names for yourself; by the time the late-90s/early-200s rolled around, seemingly every single fcuker in the UK was a DJ and so you’d see a lot of people on listings for clubs and festivals who had seemingly just used one of the suggestions scrawled on the inside cover of their Year 10 maths book (although special shout out to the techno night ‘Havok’ in Manchester who, regardless of who was actually playing, used to list incredibly childish riffs on famous DJs on their flyers and posters – “Josh W4nk”, “Fanny Rampling”, “Judge Poos”, that sort of thing. Also a shout out to my old friend Paul who once – and only once – used the name ‘Badly Dressed Boy’ which I always thought was rather good). Anyway, here we are in THE FUTURE and, having run out of DJ names which are cool or funny, there are now a bunch of artists choosing deliberately terrible names like, er, “DJ Fart in the Club”, or “DJ Fcukoff”. I very much enjoyed this – partly because the kids evidently do not take themselves very seriously, and partly because it’s a nice antidote to the slightly-po-faced and too-cool-for-school vibe that dance music very much fostered back in my day. Also, the story behind DJ Fcuks Himself is genuinely very funny.
  • The Tyranny of ‘The Best’:  Or ‘and here’s another way in which the tyranny of data is not in fact necessarily making things better’ – this is an NYT piece all about the particular obsession that some people have with having THE BEST THING, and therefore with scouring review sites and recommendation portals to ensure that they buy the VERY BEST rice cooker or bunion spoon known to man and don’t have to suffer the indignity of a second-tier product. Look, fine, I appreciate that having more of an idea of whether something is good or not before you buy it is, on balance, A Good Thing, but also there is something so tiring and so fundamentally-joyless about the application of min/maxing to every facet of life, and the way in which literally everything that can be measured and ranked must be measured and ranked and…oh, God, I am shouting at clouds again, aren’t I?
  • South Korean Culinary Diplomacy: I have mentioned here before on a few occasions that I find the concept of ‘culinary diplomacy’ absolutely fascinating – this is another example of a country deciding to make its cuisine internationally popular and then going and doing exactly that through the power of marketing. Similar to the explosion of Thai food across the world in the early-00s, the past decade or so has seen the Korean state plough tens of millions of dollars (frankly I would have expected more tbh) into making the national cuisine an object of curiosity and desire worldwide – did you know that they paid for a bunch of kids called the Bibimbap Backpackers to travel the world doing cooking demos back in 2011? SO SMART! Also, I would LOVE to read an interview with one of those kids, I bet they had an amazing time. This is so interesting, and I am fascinated to see how they evolve the Korean food brand over the coming years in an attempt to hit their goal of being the 15th-most popular country for investment and travel (they’ve risen 10 places in the past decade or so since they began the campaign, apparently).
  • Life On Sark: The island of Sark of the English coast is a weird little place, which in recent years has been notable mainly for the insanely bitter conflict between the island’s residents and the Barclay Brothers, proprietors of the Daily Telegraph newspaper and famously-unpleasant weirdos (but, I hope, not litigious weirdos who Google themselves) – it’s something of an odd throwback, as this excellent article in the LRB details, and its history is characterised by eccentrics and crooks and a weird local version of democracy, and the way it’s described here makes it sound like a sinister cross between something from the films of Ben Wheatley and an Ealing Comedy.
  • The TV Food Man: OH GOD THIS IS SUPERB. Ruby Tandoh writes for Vittles, about a certain type of man who you will be familiar with if you’ve ever watched a food or cooking show in the UK – this is laceratingly good prose, and very, very funny, and probably makes for quite painful and upsetting reading if you happen to be a bespectacled former costermonger called ‘Gregg’ (“It’s TWO ‘g’s, love, TWO ‘g’s”). A note to all non-English people reading this – even if you have no idea about British food TV and don’t know who Gregg (“TWO FCUKING “G”S!”) Wallace is, I promise you that this is a superb and verfy funny piece of writing.
  • The Comedy of Martin Amis: I am a 43 year old English man and as such it is the law that I adore Martin Amis’ writing (oh, ok, mostly the early stuff, although I did very much enjoy The Zone of Interest); I was genuinely sad to hear of his death last weekend, and received more messages than I care to mention which simply read “Darts, Keith” (if you know, you know) – author John Niven was, it’s fair to say, a PROPER Amis fan, and here he writes about his work and why he was so great (he nails the point about italics, which Amis use with such exquisite precision and power) and I am totally going to reread London Fields for what will almost certainly be the 30th time this weekend.
  • The Art Of Fiction: Amis: This is from the Paris Review’s ‘Art of Fiction’ interview series – in it Amis talks about how he writes, the craft of writing, and his relationship with his father…I adored this, not least because Amis is laconic and arrogant and you can basically see the cigarette dangling between his fingers as he drawls his responses. Incidentally, my personal favourite Amis story is the one about the New Statesman running a competition for people to come up with the world’s least likely combination of author and book title – the winner was “My Struggle”, by Martin Amis.
  • Dinner With Martin Amis: In which the dinner doesn’t happen and Amis barely features, but the idea of him – a sort of masculine 80s literary energy – dominates regardless; I really enjoyed this piece, again from the Paris Review, in which Julia Bell eschews dining with a literary figure in favour of doing skag in her room instead; it does a really good job of capturing the weight of him on the landscape of the English novel during a specific period.
  • Hating It Lush: Finally this week, visiting Tel Aviv as a Palestinian and reckoning with Palestinian identity and sex and sexuality and the occupation and the weird Israeli obsession with psytrance…this is a superb piece of writing which feels like it could unfurl into a novel given the space.

By Dolf Kruger

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